We on Award Tour: 2006 Emmy Nominations

If I had secondary headlines on this blog, this post’s would be, “Different Year, Same Results.” Much was made about the new nomination system for the Emmys this year where I believe all the nominators sat in a room and al watch each and every show’s entry. Yet looking through the nominations, it looks like the same old nominations with nods going to the old guard like West Wing. Will & Grace even got double digit nominations the most of any network show not named 24. I know I said this last year, and if the 9th Green was up a year before that, I would have said it then too, but seriously, Will & Grace is still on? I am now convinced that the Emmys are messing with my mind and the show really ended five years ago.

As for the former CW entities, they received a combined six nominations, two for Everybody Hates Chris (Costumes, Cinematography), Supernatural (Musical Composition, Sound Editing), Smallville (again, Sound Editing, CW will have a stranglehold on this category next year), and Reba (Cinematography). Wait seriously, Reba? No Veronica Mars, no Everwood, no Gilmore Girls, no Beauty and the Geek, but Reba gets a nod. To add more insult, even Kathy Griffin got a nomination. Okay that is officially reason number one why the new system failed, check out my analysis for many more reasons. But since I could care less about cinematography (sorry Reba), this is only an abridged list. For the excruciating long list, check out the Emmys site.


Comedy Series
Arrested Development, FOX
Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
The Office, NBC
Scrubs, NBC
Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Curb Your Enthusiasm
Who Should Win: Arrested Development
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl

So I will be complaining a lot today, but here is something the Emmys actually got right, no Desperate Housewives. Best Comedy Series should go to the funniest show on TV and even though it produces a few chuckles, anyway who actually laughs during Desperate Housewives should be checked into a mental institution. Also people who should be checked into a mental institution, anyone who thinks Two and a Half Men is funnier than My Name Is Earl. Earl, also Scooter Televistion Award winner for Best Sitcom, being snubbed is reason number two why the new system failed.


Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, ABC
House, FOX
The Sopranos, HBO
24, FOX
The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Grey’s Anatomy
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars

Reason number three that the new system failed, The West Wing here. All I have heard since Alan Sorkin left the show is how bad it is, yet it still gets nominated every year. And on that subject, everyone complained how much The Sopranos was down this year, yet it also gets its obligatory nomination. I’m sure a lot will be made about the omission of Lost here, but all they did was switch ABC’s big buzz show from last year to its big buzz show from this year. And much like last year this ear’s buzz show, Grey’s Anatomy will win. And hopefully like Lost this year, GA will fall off because I’ve never understood the allure of that show.


Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race, CBS
American Idol, FOX
Dancing With the Stars, ABC
Project Runway, Bravo
Survivor, CBS

Who Will Win: The Amazing Race
Who Should Win: Survivor
Should Have Been Nominated: Beauty and the Geek

I believe The Amazing Race has won this award every year and I doubt dudes sing karaoke will be able to change that. And Dancing the Stars gets the nod? Its has-beens and never-wills dancing. Where is the entertainment value in that? I’d take Beauty and the Geek, Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Flavor of Love over that show (or dudes singing karaoke) any day.


Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Kevin James, The King of Queens, CBS
Tony Shalhoub, Monk, USA
Steve Carell, The Office, NBC
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Larry David
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Jason Lee - My Name Is Earl

Probably the most pathetic category this year. And who in this category grew a 70’s gay porn mustache for their craft? Even if Jason Lee just stood there doing nothing for a half an hour, he’d still be funnier than any of these nominations. Seriously, Charlie Sheen and Kevin James? Reason number three why the new system failed. I could take Tony Shalhoub in a drama category, but not here. And where’s Jason Bateman? Again, much funnier than anyone here.


Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback, HBO
Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine, CBS
Stockard Channing, Out Of Practice, CBS
Debra Messing, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Who Should Win: Don’t Care

Okay, so I was totally wrong, this is the most pathetic category. I wasn’t even aware that Will and Grace or Malcolm in the Middle were even still on. I though The Comeback got canned a long time ago. Stockard Channing most like was just nominated because the panel though she was still on The West Wing. The sad thing is I can’t even think of someone to put in here. Jamie Pressly and Tisha Arnold are more supporting roles. But when it comes down to it, Kristen Bell is funnier than all these nominees.


Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Denis Leary, Rescue Me, FX
Peter Krause, Six Feet Under, HBO
Kiefer Sutherland, 24, FOX
Martin Sheen, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Keifer Sutherland
Who Should Win: Denis Leary

Here is possibly the only place where the new system didn’t fail with the inclusion of Denis Leary, not that he has a chance of winning. I have a feeling that Sheen will get the it’s his last season so lets give him the award treatment but since he’s nominated elsewhere, they may give him to it there. But let’s face it, Ice-T is that star of SVU and it’s a travesty that Meloni got the nod over him.


Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, TNT
Geena Davis, Commander In Chief, ABC
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Francis Conroy, Six Feet Under, HBO
Allison Janney, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Allison Janney
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Kristen Bell - Veronica Mars

There are two crimes against humanity going on in this category. To start with, and the fourth reason why the new system failed, ageism. Year after year, the over forty crowd routinely, and most of the time undeservingly, gets nominated over their younger counterpoints and the new system didn’t remedy this. Everyone should give up hope that Bell will never be nominated for Veronica Mars because the Emmys will never recognize high schoolers or people that play them. And this isn’t even solely a Veronica Mars rant, no Evangeline Lilly, no Emily Van Camp, no Eva Longoria (the only Desperate Housewife not to be nominated last year and the only one under forty), no one from Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe if Gilmore Girls is around by the time Lauren Graham gets on the wrong side of forty, she will actually get nominated. And taking up a nomination from the under forty sect, Geena Davis who just so happens to double as the union leader or something like that. Nepotism anyone?


Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Will Arnett, Arrested Development, FOX
Jeremy Piven, Entourage, HBO
Bryan Cranston, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Jeremy Piven
Who Should Win: Will Arnett
Should Have Been Nominated: Doogie Houser - How I Met Your Mother

Reason number six on why the new system failed, the creator of the Lemon Law was denied. Two of the shows aren’t really on any more, then there is the inexcusable Jon Cryer nod. Those holes should have been filled by the other Arrested Development bit players David Cross and Jeffery Tambor.


Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Cheryl Hines, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Alfre Woodard, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl, NBC
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds, Showtime
Megan Mullally, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Alfre Woodard
Who Should Win: Jamie Pressly
Should Have Been Nominated: Jessica Walter - Arrested Development

The only thing comical about this award would be if the only non-comedy actress actually wins it. Did Woodard actually do anything funny this year? Interesting how the show dominated the lead category last year, but this is the only nomination this year. But no female made me laugh more in the past year than Lucille #1. Well okay Pressly did, but she had twice as many episodes.


Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner, Boston Legal, ABC
Oliver Platt, Huff, Showtime
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos, HBO
Gregory Itzin, 24, FOX
Alan Alda, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: William Shatner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars

Yet another category without any shows I watch. Should I even now who Gregory Itzin is? But there was no one more entertaining this past year than Dick Casablancas. Biggest snub of the year.


Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal, ABC
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Blythe Danner, Huff, Showtime
Jean Smart, 24, FOX

Who Will Win: Blythe Danner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Diane Farr - Rescue Me

Yawn, another boring category. Lost in the shuffle of switching shows, Farr got lost in the shuffle as the lone female in the firehouse.


Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart, Extras, HBO
Ben Stiller, Extras, HBO
Martin Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Alec Baldwin, Will & Grace, NBC
Leslie Jordan, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Martin Sheen
Who Should Win: Ben Stiller
Should Have Been Nominated: Giovanni Ribisi - My Name Is Earl

Surprise, surprise, yet another category with shows I don’t watch. But I can’t imagine any of them were funnier than Earl’s not quite conformed old buddy Ralph.


Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Shirley Knight, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Kate Winslet, Extras, HBO
Cloris Leachman, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Laurie Metcalf, Monk, USA
Blythe Danner, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Cloris Leachman
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Juliette Lewis - My Name Is Earl

Reason seven why the new system failed, did the Emmy people even watch Earl? This is really beginning to bug me.


Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Michael J. Fox, Boston Legal, ABC
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal, ABC
James Woods, ER, NBC
Kyle Chandler, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Henry Ian Cusick, Lost, ABC

Who Will Win: James Woods
Who Should Win: James Woods
Should Have Been Nominated: Michael Emerson - Lost

I was all ready to put Henry Ian Cusick in the "Who Should Win" column thinking that was Henry Gale. But when I double checked, that dude turned out to be Desmond. These people are moron. And in my obligatory Veronica Mars plug, I’d through Harry Hamlin into this category.


Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Kate Burton, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Christina Ricci, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Swoosie Kurtz, Huff, Showtime
Patricia Clarkson, Six Feet Under, HBO
Joanna Cassidy, Six Feet Under, HBO

Who Will Win: Swoosie Kurtz
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Lucy Lawless - Veronica Mars

Her verbal beatdown of Sheriff Lamb along should have warranted Lawless a nod.


Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program
Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow: Music And Passion, PBS
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
Craig Ferguson, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, CBS
David Letterman, Late Show With David Letterman, CBS
Hugh Jackman, The 59th Annual Tony Awards (2005), CBS

Who Will Win: Stephan Colbert
Who Should Win: David Letterman
Should Have Been Nominated: John Stewart - The Daily Show/Oscars

One of the few times didn’t screw up with Leno not being nominated this year. But Ferguson over Stewart and Conan? At least Conan has hosting the show to fall back on.


Directing for a Comedy Series
Michael Patrick King, The Comeback, (Valerie Does Another Classic Leno), HBO
Robert B. Weide, Curb Your Enthusiasm, (The Christ Nail), HBO
Dan Attias, Entourage, (Oh, Mandy), HBO
Julian Farino, Entourage, (Sundance Kids), HBO
Marc Buckland, My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), NBC
Craig Zisk, Weeds, Good S*** (Lollipop), Showtime

Who Will Win: Don’t Know
Who Should Win: Marc Buckland

I was going to delete this like every other technical category until I noticed Earl got nominate here.


Variety, Music or Comedy Series
The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Comedy Central.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, NBC, Broadway Video
Late Show with David Letterman, CBS
Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO

Who Will Win: The Daily Show
Who Should Win: The Daily Show

So what’s the difference between this category and Best Comedy Series? Technically couldn’t The Office et al also be nominated here too?


Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour)
Camp Lazlo, (Hello Dolly / Over Cooked Beans,) Cartoon Network
Family Guy, (PTV,) FOX
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, (Go Goo Go,) Cartoon Network
The Simpsons, (The Seemingly Neverending Story,) FOX
South Park, (Trapped in the Closet,) Comedy

Who Will Win: The Simpsons
Who Should Win: South Park

What’s most interesting here is the episode South Park submitted here, Trapped in the Closet also know as the episode that made Isaac Hayes leave, also know as the anti-Scientology episode. I have a feeling the South Park guys submitted this episode as a joke.


Writing for a Comedy Series
Arrested Development, (Development Arrested), Chuck Tatham, Jim Vallely, Richard Day, Mitchell Hurwitz
Entourage, (Exodus), Doug Ellin
Extras, (Kate Winslet), Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant
My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), Greg Garcia
The Office, (Christmas Party), Michael Schur

Who Will Win: The Office
Who Should Win: My Name Is Earl
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl (Y2K)

Wow, more Earl love and there is no episode on any show that made me laugh harder this past year than its pilot episode. The Y2K episode is a distant second.


Writing for a Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, (It's the End of the World, As We Know It (Part 1 & 2)), Shonda Rhimes
Grey's Anatomy, (Into You Like A Train), Krista Vernoff
Lost, (The 23rd Psalm), Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof
Six Feet Under, (Everyone's Waiting), Alan Ball
The Sopranos, (Members Only), Terence Winter

Who Will Win: Six Feet Under
Who Should Win: Lost
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars (Donut Run, Normal Is the Watchword, Not Pictured)

Odd choose of Lost episodes here with the first Eko-centric episode getting the nod. I don’t think that was even the best Eko episode. But I’d put up the trio of Veronica Mars episode against any of the other one’s nominated.



Usually I prepare what I am going to write the night before and I had an anti-Desperate Housewives being included in the Comedy categories rant already to roll, but surprisingly only one supporting nomination this year so I was unable to use it in the individual nomination analysis. But since I thought it was a good idea, I’m still going to throw it out there to the people who run the Emmys: create a new Dramedy category. Back in the eighties and earlier, most shows were strictly in either in the drama or comedy column. But in the nineties and shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, more and more shows are equal parts laughs and tears and have been routinely overlooked. And the addition of the category would benefit the award show because it would mean more stars to nominate. Had there been a Dramedy Series category, it may have looked something like this:

Desperate Housewives
Everybody Hates Chris
Gilmore Girls
Rescue Me
Veronica Mars

And to the Emmys people, if you do decide to use my idea, all I ask in return is to be included as one of the people that does the nominating. Oh and one of those gift bags you give out to all the presenters.

He Said “John Go Do My Will”

It’s always a touchy subject when releasing unfinished music posthumously. On one hand, you have the desire of fans to get their hands on everything an artist recorded, but on the other, you are hearing the music not necessarily the way an artist wanted you to hear it. But there is a sense of relief that the latest Johnny Cash album, American V: A Hundred Highways that Rick Rubin is at the helm just like the previous four American recording that have been recorded over the past decade. Notice I said latest, not last album as Rubin is currently working on more songs from the sessions for at least another album.

Much of this album was recorded in-between the five months between the death of his wife June and his own and the melancholy throughout the album starting with the album opener Help Me. If You Could Read My Mind is touching considering the context and even though the song isn’t about death and originally done by Gordon Lightfoot, you can’t but think he’s singing to June. As his voice starts to break at the end of song, so will your heart. But it’s not all heartache and loss as he later sings Love’s Been Good to Me.

The last song that Johnny Cash ever wrote and recorded is on this set too. Like the 309 is a bouncy song that is reminiscent of him as a young man hanging out at a train station. Oddly enough the song starts off with the line, “It should be awhile before I see Dr. Death.” As Cash recorded much of these tunes confined to a wheelchair and nearly blind, his own mortality is touched upon elsewhere on the album most notable on the Bruce Springsteen cover Further up On the Road (which was part of the 9/11 inpired The Rising album). The album closes with a rerecording of his 1962 song, I’m Free from the Chain Gang now which takes a whole new meaning after his death and now he’s free after spending his life being the voice of the voiceless and downtrodden.

If there is a downside to American V it would actually have to be Rubin. After single handedly resurrecting Cash’s career by pushing him to places he hasn’t been before musically, this album is pretty safe and sound like an album Cash would have made had he never met Rubin. The only song here that would fit on the earlier American recording is traditional gospel song God’s Gonna Cut You Down where a chorus of hand claps and foot stomps surrounds Cash’s vocals and sounds like a death march. But it’s not for Cash, instead it’s for the, “rambler, gambler, the backbiter” and all other sinners in the world. The rest of the album though sounds almost as if Rubin wanted to take the safe route in creating the music behind Cash’s previously recorded vocals as to not taint Cash’s legacy in turn making them afterthoughts in the Cash musical vault. But with that said, Johnny Cash afterthoughts are still better than ninety-five percent of the music made today.

Song to Download - God’s Gonna Cut You Down

American V: A Hundred Highways gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You're Like Rich-Dude Kryptonite, Veronica

Over last summer, after Veronica Mars finished up, I really wasn’t wondering lad to behind the door that Ronnie was glad to see, instead I was thinking of how they could keep up the intensity of the first season going into the second. Both season long arcs, with Veronica trying to figure out who raped her and more importantly who killed her best friend, Lilly Kane, were very personal to her and you know she wouldn’t stop until she got her answers.

But my worries quickly went away with the second season premiere that rivaled the entertainment value of anything in the first season that came to the crescendo as Ashes started to swell up at the end with Veronica, riding on the back of Weevil’s bike, rode up to the scene where the bus she was supposed to be on went over a cliff. Adding to the guilt of that should have been her, the lone 09’er stood by her last year, Meg, who just happened to be upset with her for stealing her boyfriend, happened to be on the bus. And I’m not sure that Meg being the lone survivor, and by survivor I mean she needed a machine to breathe, maybe even upped the guilt factor.

In the first episode we also met Butters and Gia, who would show up periodically during the second season. Both of which grew on me as the season progressed and both shined in the third to last episode with Gia’s various monologues about her stalker and Butters in the elevator up to the alterna-prom. Hopefully both of them cross Ronnie’s path during season three. Oddly missing in the first episode was the newest cast member, Jackie Cook, even though even her father showed up in the opener having an argument with Mayor Goodwood. An argument I don’t think we ever really figured out was about.

As for the other major arc this season, this one really had more to do with Logan and how he dealt with it than anything. Not that Logan originally really cared about finding out who the real killer of Felix was, just that he beat the wrap. But once the witness came forward, it came clear that Logan would have to find out who was behind it if he wanted to clear his name. To do this he had to team out with his arch nemesis, Weevil who also wanted to know who really killed his number two. This unusual pairing lead to one of the best lines in the series when Veronica devised that the two were in cahoots prompting Vee to asked “do either of you have any experience being a horse’s ass?”

This storyline lost some steam near the end as it became apparent that it was either the Fitzpatrick’s or Thumper, only to find out it was both were involved with a few episodes still left in the season. But this gave Weevil time to plan his revenge on the PCH turncoat and poetically it was Logan who carried that out when he set off the trigger that imploded Shark Stadium where Thumper was in. But it looks like this will carry into next season as Lamb, in his biggest heartless act of the series besides blowing off Veronica’s rape allegations and listening to Big and Rich, picked the inappropriate time of graduation to arrested Weevil for the crime.

Throughout the season we met many suspects that you look at and think, yeah, dude’s psycho enough to blow up a bus full of high schooler including Mayor Goodwood, evil Indians, Not-So-Lucky, Papa Manning, Big Dick, and the Fighting Fitzpatrick’s. Even last season’s big bad, Aaron Echolls looked like a potential candidate via a proxy. But in the end it was Evil Beaver who did the deed to keep his dirty little secret that Mayor Goodwood touched his, um, Goodwood. I still don’t really buy the Evil Beaver doing I because even in his despair, I don’t see him killing innocents especially Meg. I’d be nice to think that Beaver would at least try to convince her to take the limo.

But unlike other shows where a bad reveal would ruin an episode, if not the entire season or show, the finale, along with the whole second season remained thoroughly entertaining. Part of this is due to the excellent addition of Dick Casablancas to the cast. You know whenever Little Dick came across the screen, there was going to be a great one-line, including my favorite, “sometimes you don’t need the prettiest house, just one that will let you ride horseback.” (Sadly no one has complied all of them together for YouTube yet.) Who can forget when he not so subtly looked down Vee’s dress at the alterna-prom. And even though he makes for a good t-shirt, Dick himself was always seen sporting great ones of his own (I have candy). Hopefully Dick isn’t to depressed next season over Beaver’s death so he can deliver more one-liners and maybe he will even get Ronnie drunk enough to hook up with him.

Granted you can trace Dick’s greatness back to the writers who feed him the great one-liners. They are really the MVP’s of the show who can keep it entertaining even when they rehash older mystery of the week (more dead dogs) and guest stars that have no acting training (the chick from Laguna Beach). Even with the disappointment of the Evil Beaver reveil, the Aaron Echolls death scene (which could possibly have been the best death scene of the year) more than made up for it, then throw in Dick slapping Ronnie’s butt and it quickly turned into the best finale of the season. Thanks to the writers there was not a throwaway episode this season or for the whole series for that matter. Can you say that about any other show?

And even though I’m against acting awards because I believe most good acting is devised from the page (hey, even I was able to win an acting award) it’s obvious that Kristen Bell is one of few great actors today. She easily goes from snarky to emotional without missing a beat or being overdramatic like some of her contemporaries (i.e. the lead in a certain series created by a guest star this season). And she never takes a scene off even when she is not the focal point like when she’s hiding her face behind her hair while talking Hearst College with Wallace. A lot has been made of this new Emmy voting system so hopefully the voters can look beyond the sixth rate network and high school drama façade and not just relegate Bell to the Emmy Idol this year. But if they do, may I suggest she do The Facts of Life theme this year.


Unlike last year, there were quite a few unanswered questions at the end of this season (feel free to add any I left out in the comment section):

What were Terrence Cook and Mayor Goodwood arguing about?

Why did Lamb’s dad say the same thing that Mr. Manning said when Lamb went to check out Grace’s closet?

Who is Sally and why could Beaver hang her over Dick?

How and more importantly why did Not-Kendal and Logan hook up?

What happened to the dude the presumable killed Amelia Delongpre that Clarence Wiedman said he’d take care off? Did he go “CW” on him?

Why did Mayor Goodwood tell his daughter not to take the bus back to school?

Who leaked to the press that Terrence threw a baseball game?

When will Ronnie start sporting an “I (Heart) Dick” t-shirt?

Now that her husband isn’t around, will Logan’s mom come out of hiding or at the very least wash to shore?

And of course, what’s in Not-Kendal’s briefcase? (Am I too simple minded to think it’s just money, lots and lots of money?

Veronica Mars 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won six STA's.





In related Veronica Mars news, some of the cast will be holding a Q&A session this year at Comic Con in San Diego. Yeah, I don’t know what the comic connection is with the show, but it is at very least a chance to ask the questions above. The panel will take place Saturday July 22nd from 4:30 to 5:30 and will include Creator Rob Thomas and stars Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring, Enrico Colantoni, Francis Capra, Ryan Hansen, and Michael Muhney are all scheduled to appear. The panel will be moderated by some dude from TVGuide.com.

Unfortunately I am, what the government considers poor so it looks as if I won’t be able to attend to grill Rob Thomas one more time. Although if the readers of the 9th Green chipped in, maybe I could make an appearance. So if you have and extra dollar to spare, well, donate it to one of the worthy charities on my sidebar or Ducky’s AIDS Ride. But if you have two extra dollars to spare, give one to the worthy charities and the other to the Scooter McGavin is Poor Fund. Where’s Warren Buffet when you need him?

And on a bookkeeping note, due to the impending holiday, there will be no new posts until the fifth when I may bring you the last album (at least of new material) of one of my personal favorite artists and maybe a review of one of my summer guilty pleasures.

Memories Like Fingerprints Are Slowly Raising

If the MTV Unplugged series is the best music show devised for television, then VH1 Storytellers is a close second. But both have become sporadic at best with only Alicia Keys getting the Unplugged treatment recently and Storytellers only produced three shows last year and is airing the first one of this year tonight starring Pearl Jam. It should be interesting the stories the band tells after being in hibernation for about a decade, but at the very least the performances will be solid and hopefully top heavy of earlier albums.

In honor of their performance tonight, it seems apropos that I induct one of their albums into the Scooter Hall of Fame this month and for my money Vs. is the pinnacle of their career. Ten was a great debut, but was bogged down by the grunge sound at times while Vitology had some better songs, but it was also a decent into lunacy with songs like Bugs and the closing “song.” But it is Vs. where everything came together, expanding on the grunge sound, to make the best album of their career.

Vs. starts out with the one-two punch of Go and Animal, two songs that, if they can’t get your blood pumping, nothing will. But the band quickly showed their growth next with Daughter where they were able to slow things down without going into the power ballad cliché. The musicianship really shines through on the song and I love the ambiguity of the lyrics with the booklet saying the line in “violins (ence).” Granted intelligibility of Eddie Vedder doesn’t work because for a long time I thought he was saying “a glorified version of a pelican.”

Dissident features one of the best riffs the band has come up with making you wonder how the duel attack of Stone Gossard and Mike McCready are always absent from best guitarist list, but that may be the answer, that there is two of them. The band takes a complete left turn on W.M.A. with its percussion and bass heavy song about police brutality and still has yet come close to creating another song like it which is somewhat of a same. Rats may not have been the best song on the album, but you got to love the Michael Jackson shoutout at the end.

Near the end of the album are two of my favorite Pearl Jam songs starting with the pulsing Rearviewmirror. I remember after getting my license a few years later and I loved playing this song at night in the summer on a country road with the windows down as each passing headlight telling a different story as the song made a perfect soundtrack. There was just a sense of optimism to the song. On the other hand Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town took a much more subtle approach and after two albums filled with doom and gloom, the song was a refreshing breath of clarity and simplicity and could be my favorite Pearl Jam song not titled Betterman.

The album ends with the haunting Indifferent, yet another chance the band took and the line, “I’ll swallow poison until I grow immune” still sends a chill down my spine to this day. The diversity and the and all the successful risks the band took on Vs. makes it a welcome addition to the SHoF. And yes, I do have one of the copies of the CD without the title on it. (If you remember, the band did have a name for the album when it when to print, so the first shipment went out without Vs. appearing on the album anywhere.)

She Did Not See My “A” Game

During yesterday’s post, I slipped in that Jerry Maguire was one of the few chick flicks that guys can actually enjoy because it had football for us to focus on. As for chick flicks, that’s pretty much the list except for one caveat; oddly enough John Cusack who has somehow make a career out of making watchable romantic comedies from hoisting up the jukebox in Say Anything all the way up to one of the best movies of the past ten years, High Fidelity.

Cusack’s latest entry into the genre is Must Love Dogs, a movie centered on what seems to be a booming business, internet dating. Both Cusack and his female counterpart, Diane Lane, are recently divorced yet not ready to get back into the game. But thanks to some nosey family members and an over-sex lawyer, both inadvertently make into the world of on-line dating. Sadly that’s where the hilarity stops.

The start of the movie starts off with a few chucklers and looks to be focused on the two main characters as they are forced to get back on the horse. But once the internet profile is set up, it quickly turns into Lane’s movie and Cusack wrongly takes a back seat. At this point the movie is rarely romantic or comedic, which is never good for a film that is supposed to be in the genre. Speaking of underused, Stockard Channing is grossly underused as one of Lane’s father’s girlfriends. Much like the Cusack character, Channing’s looked as if they had a bigger part for it, but never got around to fleshing it out.

Plenty of romantic comedy cliché about most notably the obligatory spontaneous break out into song scene. Ironically enough Dermot Mulroney, who may have started this cliché in My Best Friend’s Wedding, is involved in the scene and adds to the insainity of the premise by rushing to the piano to accompany the singing. And what mobile home doesn’t have a piano? The biggest fraud of this movie hough is that not only did neither main character actually own a dog; Snoop Doggy Dogg didn’t even appear in the movie. What a shame.

Must Love Dogs gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song

In a story I broke here, I went to a wedding this weekend. That really isn’t of note because it basically like every wedding I’ve ever been too. Well except that I got a little slack for not giving a wedding gift. Am I wrong to think that you should only have to buy someone only one wedding present in their lifetime no matter how many times they remarry? But anyways. Last summer Wedding Crashers did a very good job mocking weddings, although the crashers would have been wise to skip this wedding as all the bridesmaids were married and the only available chicks there were more like to be flower girls than bridesmaids.

As great as Wedding Crashers was as poking fun at the event, it did miss a couple key wedding events first and foremost how every wedding DJ plays the exact same playlist which hasn’t been updated in a decade or so. I think the only song they played that has been released since I hit puberty was some hillbilly song about riding horses and/or cowboys that successfully dropped my IQ a couple points by listening to it. I only know it was a fairly new song because my sister, my hillbilly music expert, informed me of this. But back on topic, it’s like wedding DJ’s haven’t picked up any new music since the advent of the CD. Granted I had to chuckle when he put on Shout (Parts 1& 2) because of the scene in Wedding Crashers. Too bad there were not any unattached chicks there that wouldn’t have been carded at the bar to reenact that scene. Oh well.

But the real genesis of this post is another aspect of a wedding that the movie sadly didn’t address was the first dance song. Now I wrote a dissertation back in college stating that “Your Song” has a direct correlation to divorce. If “Your Song” is I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith, don’t expect to be getting to the bronze anniversary. Also if you are a dude and you get stuck with “Your Song” that was written by Diane Warren, it’s time for your man card to be revoked. It doesn’t bode well for this bride that for the second time had a hillbilly song as “Their Song.” It may have actually been the same song, but I can’t be for certain as all hillbilly songs start to sound alike after a while.

Unfortunately you cannot just declare “Your Song” because it has to happen organically and must be mutually agreed upon without actually being discussed. This usually happens at a romantic interlude, in high school this is typically during your first kiss during a slow dance at Homecoming. Although if you are high school sweethearts you do run the risk of having some pretty cheesy songs being played and no one want I Swear by All 4 One following them ten years later. Them there are the people that miss interoperate song. I don’t know how many weddings I been to in the past decade that have had Crash into Me by the Dave Matthews Band as the first dance not knowing that the song is in the point of view of a stalker. Okay, if you meet your future husband lurking outside your window, the song may fit, but everyone else you may want to find something else.

Since I’m long past the awkward high school dance phase, it is a little easier to set up an organic moment for “Your Song.” And here are some of the songs on the top of my list to use during those situations (in no particular order):

Your Song (Elton John) - Yeah it’s the archetypical “Your Song,” but it’s old enough that not many people will be using it as they all go for Your Body Is a Wonderland if they’ve outgrown Crash into Me.

Have a Little Faith in Me (John Hiatt) - Quite possible the most romantic song ever written, and currently on the top of my list potential “Your Songs.” If Hiatt’s a little too obscure for you, you can also check out versions by Joe Cocker, Jewel, or Mandy Moore.

Every Time I Close My Eyes (Babyface) - Another oldie but goodie, this time from my formative years, back when R&B was good babymaking music. Granted back then there wasn’t many chances fore babymaking back then, but isn’t that what the wedding night for? Then throw in some Mariah Carey and Kenny G for the ladies and it’s like the Jerry Mcguire of music (both dudes and chicks can enjoy).

I Believe (When I Fall in Love it Will Be Forever) (Stevie Wonder) - If Have a Little Faith in Me is the most romantic song ever written, this runs a close second. And High Fidelity has no barring on this song being on this list (okay, maybe a little).

Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own (U2) - Maybe not the most romantic song on the list being that the song is about Bono’s dad, but no one is better at songs about relationships and the song’s theme is a great way to start any relationship especially the marriage kind.

‘Til Kingdom Come (Coldplay) - Kind of obscure as it was stuck in the back of their last album as a not so hidden track. The one drawback is that it doesn’t have a very danceable quality so it hinders its first dance appeal. But say if you are musically inclined and can rework the song and slow it down for that very purpose, it would definitely score extra points for you.


This is in no way a definitive list, just some songs that have popped into my head, so feel free to add your own in the comment section or tell me of a song that has worked for you.

I Wish I Was Mr. Gates

I have to admit I was a late-comer to You Tube, but I’ve found myself spend more and more time on the sight checking out mostly live performances, although I wish people would stop posting crapping videos taken off their camera phones because the quality is usually horrible. Even one of my favorite reads, Bill Simmons recently inducted thirty-three videos into the You Tube Hall of Fame including videos of Beavis and Butthead watching Hulk Hogan’s video and the top 10 baseball fights (how was the minor leaguer who mule kicked the catcher not number one; greatest move ever). And don’t let the Sports Guy moniker fool you because, much like the 9th Green, it's not just about sports as he takes on pop culture too, but you may want to skip whenever he starts going on and on about Boston sports. But anyways. Aside from the videos on his list, here are some videos I’m checking out.


Bruce Springsteen - Pay Me My Money Down (Conan O’Brien)



I used to be a faithful watcher of David Letterman (which I once appeared, sadly which hasn’t got onto You Tube yet) but as I grow older, I, much like Tony Kornheiser, can’t stay awake to watch it anymore. But I still check out the late night shows to see if they have any great guests on to tape (I’m not cool enough to Tivo) and that was the case Friday with Bruce Springsteen on Conan O'Brien. If this is any indication of what his tour is going to be like, I’m, going to have to pick up some tickets. But while watching it, I swear I saw Conan O’Brien on acoustic guitar and low and behold, it was him. They even let Jimmy Fallon, who was on earlier for an “In the Year 2000” bit, play the spoons and if you look closer, you can see Thomas Hayden Church in the background playing the glockenspiel or something.


The Raconteurs - Steady as She Goes



This video has something to live up to as Jack White’s other band; The White Stripes always has great videos. The Raconteurs video doesn’t disappoint, but for some reason this video reminds me of an old cartoon that involved racing and included a dog, thing was named Dastardly or something like that, and it’s now totally bothering me that I can’t remember the name. It doesn’t help that Black would looked exactly like the baddie in the cartoon if he put on a top hat.


Ashlee Simpson - Invisible



This video should put to rest all those plastic surgery rumors following Ashlee Simpson these days because it is now obvious that she didn’t go under the knife, instead it was the lead singer of Kajagoogoo that beat the ugly out of her. I love how the video is in black and white to give it the serious edge, but only succeeds in making it harder not to laugh while watching it. What sad though is that I reviewed her album (Hey, How Long Till the Music Drowns You Out?) and don’t even remember this song. Although I don't see this song in iTunes, does this means she has a new album coming out? Maybe that meteor set to hit the Earth on Monday will turn out to be a good thing after all.

We Know by Now to Say Enough

One of the best shows MTV has ever produced, back when they actually has musical programs, was the iconic Unplugged. Almost the music heavyweights from the eighties and nineties picked up the acoustic guitar for the seminal series. Then MTV switched to a lifestyle network and the show disappeared. It was later picked up by its sister station MTV2 (keep in mine this was also back in a time when MTV2 actually showed videos before it became a second rate Cartoon Network and a place of MTV castoff show). Needless to say I was excited to see the show’s return although one of the bands on the lineup, Dashboard Confessional, I wasn’t really aware of.

What surprised me when I tuned into their performance was how the lead singer didn’t even sing much as the audience took over and more times than not drowned him out when he did sing. The songs were refreshing as teen pop and rap-metal dominated the channel with heart on their sleeve songs. A few years and an album later, the band is back with more of the same for their new album Dusk and Summer.

The album starts off with the bombastic Don’t Wait where Chris Carraba sets the tone early with belting out a soaring intro. That energy keeps up for most of the album which actually is a downside of the album because it sounds as if they are trying to hard to make stadium anthems. But I’m not sure crowds are ready to sing “My capillaries scream” along with Carraba as that phrase gets old soon. And what is that metaphor supposed to mean anyways? I let Screaming Infidelities slide because the phrase sounded cool, but I’m going to need an explanation to how, why capillaries scream.

One of few times they do take it down a notch is for So Long, So Long. It’s almost apropos that Adam Duritz helps out with vocals on the song because Counting Crows mastered the heart on the sleeve song long before Dashboard Confession came along. Currents followes the same theme but unfortunately, Duritz didn’t rub off enough to help the rest of the album sound mediocre at best. Then again, Duritz hasn’t had that much of a rub on his own band’s last couple albums.

Song to Download - So Long, So Long

Dusk and Summer gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour: 2006 ESPY Nominations

The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year, fresh off his retirement, Lance Armstrong host and it’s already been announced that a group of female Afghani women who set up soccer matches for the fairer sex will be receiving the Arthur Ashe Award, a segment that always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards July 16th. Now on to my predictions:


Best Male Athlete
Lance Armstrong (Cyclist)
Vince Young (University of Texas Football)
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardnals)

Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong
Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong

First off, where’s Dwayne Wade? How does LeBron get the nod over him? Really, this category is easy because you can eliminate the three people that didn’t win anything. Not that it really matters as Armstrong will run away with the award like he always does when Tiger Woods isn’t involved (and sometimes when he is).


Best Female Athlete
Annika Sorenstam (Golfer)
Hannah Teter (Snowboarder)
Sheryl Swoops (WNBA)
Melanie Troxel (Drag Racer)

Who Will Win: Annika Sorenstam
Who I Voted For: Hannah Teter

A pretty pathetic group her with two chicks who’s sports barley qualify as sports, but I gotta go with the gold winner.


Best Team
Maryland Lady Terrapins Basketball
Chicago White Sox
University of Texas Football
Pittsburg Steelers
Miami Heat

Who Will Win: Pittsburg Steelers
Who I Voted For: Miami Heat

The Steelers had a decent run, but being a Browns fan, I cannot vote for them ever, I’m going with the Heat instead because Shaq winning a title without Kobe, making him look even worse is a good thing and it makes up for Wade’s oversight for Best Male Athlete.


Best Coach/Manager
Ozzie Guillen (Chicago White Sox)
Bill Cowher (Pittsburg Steelers)
Billy Donavan (University of Florida Basketball)
Jim Larranaga (George Mason Basketball)
Pat Riley (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Bill Cowher
Who I Voted For: Jim Larranaga

Cowher’s is obviously out out, Donavan ruined my March Madness bracket, Riley didn’t even coach the whole season. So even though I fear Guillen will call me names if I don’t vote for him, I’m going with Larranaga because I gotta give a fellow Mid Major some love.


Best Game
Andre Agassi vs. James Blake (US Open)
Houston Astros vs. Atlanta Braves (Game 4 NLDS)
USC vs. Texas (National Championship)

Who Will Win: National Championship
Who I Voted For: Game 4 NLDS

This was easy for me as I not only watched just one of these games, I even blogged about it - The New Killer B(urke). Only the sixth walk off/series ending home run ever the cap off the longest postseason game ever. Much better than watching an overrated team get beat.


Best Championship Performance
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Venus Williams (Tennis)
Sam Hornish Jr. (Indycar Driver)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade

Let me get this straight, the left turn only circuit has a championship? Wait, never mind, I don’t care. But here’s my argument for Wade, the Heat lost Game 3 getting ready for a sweep, but somehow was able to single handedly save the game and then made sure his team didn’t lose again in the series. Again, who was he not in the Best Male Athlete category?


Best Moment
Kobe Bryant - 81 Point Game
Dakoda Dowd - LPGA Attempt
Jason McElwain - Manager, Shooter
George Mason - Final Four Run

Who Will Win: Jason McEwain
Who I Voted For: Dakoda Dowd

Throw Bryant out right away and I already gave George Mason some love earlier, so for me this comes down to the two heart-tuggers. For those that don’t watch Sportcenter, here’s the lowdown on the other two; McElwain was an autistic manager for his high school basketball team. Then in the team’s last home game, the coach let him go in during some garbage time and hit six three-pointers, scoring twenty points in four minutes. Dowd on the other hand got a sponsor’s exemption to play in an LPGA tournament, giving her mother, who is dying from bone cancer, a chance to fulfill her dream of seeing her kid play in a pro event. Dowd almost made the cut going two over par even among the immense media presence at the event.


Best Play
Nathan Vasher - NFL’s Longest Play
Tyrone Prothro - Alabama’s Unbelievable Catch
David Wright - One Handed Catch
Aaron Rowand - Nose for the Team
Reggie Bush - Punt Return TD

Who Will Win: Reggie Bush
Who I Voted For: Aaron Rowand

As a defensive guy, I love seeing the Web Gems on Baseball Tonight and Rowand’s catch was one of the best. Keep in mind that the bases were loaded with two outs some if he doesn’t get that ball, that’s three runs that likely score.


Best Comeback
Teddy Bruschi (New England Patriots)
Ronnie Turiaf (Los Angeles Lakers)
James Blake (Tennis)

Who Will Win: Teddy Bruschi
Who I Voted For: James Black

Bruschi will most likely win in a landslide, but I was a little queasy of him coming back that soon from a stroke. Blake on the other hand came back from a fractured vertebrae, contracted a debilitating virus, all the while losing his father to cancer. After all that, he made it to the finals of a major.


Best Breakthrough Athlete
Kimmie Meissner (Figure Skating)
Shawn White (Snowboarder)
Chris Paul (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets)
Alexander Ovechkin (Washington Capitols)

Who Will Win: Shawn White
Who I Voted For: Chris Paul

Meissner didn’t even medal in the Olympics, I already thought White broke out along time ago, but Paul was the best rookie in the NBA even though the team that drafted him didn’t even have a permanent place to play. You gotta have heart to play under those conditions.


Best Record-Breaking Performance
Ben Roethlisberger - Youngest QB to Win a Superbowl
Shaun Alexander - Most TD’s in a Season
Mike Metzger - Backflip over the Fountains at Caesars
Kalen Pimental - American LLWS Strikeout Record

Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander

Being the youngest/oldest is a pretty cheap record especially at a team sport and what exactly was Metzger’s record? Since you can never be sure of a Little Leagers age, I’m going with Alexander.


Best College Male Athlete
Vince Young (University of Texas)
Reggie Bush (University of Southern Cal)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern Cal)
J.J. Redick (Duke University)
Adam Morrison (Gonzoga University)

Who Will Win: Vince Young
Who I Voted For: Adam Morrison

Both Redick and Bus are looking at violations against the law and NCAA rules repesctively. Leinart gets thrown out for the double no-no of hanging out with Nick Lashay and dating Paris Hilton. So Morrison edges out Young by a moustache.


Best Baseball Player
Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals)
Chris Carpenter (St. Louis Cardinals)
Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees)
David Ortiz (Boston Red Sox)

Who Will Win: Albert Pujols
Who I Voted For: Albert Pujols

Ortiz gets thrown out for only showing up four-five times a game, really how cheap is that? This should be a runaway for Pujols, but where is Johan Santana?


Best NBA Player
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns)
LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks)
Dwayne Wade (Miami Heat)

Who Will Win: Dwayne Wade
Who I Voted For: Dwayne Wade

I think I’ve spent more time talking about basketball today then spent watching it the past year, so let’s move on.

Best NFL Player
Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seashawks)
Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts)
LaDainian Tomlinson (San Diego Chargers)
Steve Smith (Carolina Panthers)
Brian Urlacher (Chicago Bears)

Who Will Win: Shaun Alexander
Who I Voted For: Shaun Alexander

I’m beginning to think there are more ESPY awards than Grammy’s at this point, moving along:


Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award
A.J. Hawk (Ohio State)
Matt Leinart (University of Southern California)
Kobe Bryant (Los Angles Lakers)
Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)

Who Will Win: Kobe Bryant
Who I Voted For: Ryan Howard

WARNING: Blatant product placement. I have no idea what this award is supposed to represent, but I’ll go with Howard just because.


GMC Professional Grade Play Award
Doug Flutie (New England Patriots)
Candice Parker (University of Tennessee)
Antwaan Randle-El (Pittsburge Steelers)
Aaron Rowand (Philadelphia Phillies)

Who Will Win: Doug Flutie
Who I Voted For: Doug Flutie

So how exactly does this differ from Best Play (which Rowand is also nominated for)? Are these the ones that GMC executives hand picked? But anyways. I believe Flutie is here for the drop kick he had during his final season, so I’ll go with him.


Now I'm not entirely sure what catergory it should be nominated in, but this deserves a nomination for next year. My favorite part is when he brings out the water bottle. All tirades need props.

Are You Ready for Some Football - Knockout Edition

The knockout round of the World Cup started yesterday and I was able to correctly pick seven of the sixteen teams in their correct seeding from my original picks (see - Are You Read for Some Football?). As for the round robin games themselves, I was fairly mediocre ranking in the 50th percentile in their pick ‘em game. I was unable to correctly pick every game in a single group but went five of six in Group H missing only the Saudi Arabia-Tunisia tie. On the other side, the group of death lived up its name as I only got one match correct, Italy over Ghana.

I was unable to post my revisionist picks for the knockout round yesterday as I was stuck at a wedding, so here are those, unchanged from what I chose from what I picked from the ESPN game on Friday:


Round of Sixteen
Germany over Sweden
Argentina over Mexico
Ecuador over England (oops)
Netherlands over Portugal
Italy over Australia
Ukraine over Switzerland
Brazil over Ghana
Spain over France


Quarterfinals
Germany over Argentina
Italy over Ukraine
Netherlands over Ecuador
Brazil over Spain


Semifinals
Germany over Italy
Brazil over Netherlands


3rd Place
Netherlands over Italy


Finals
Brazil over Germany (3-1)

Love Is Just a Lyric in a Children’s Rhyme

When I first heard of Keane, I though what a fresh idea; a three piece band with no guitars instead just a piano to drive the melodies with drums being the lone part of the rhythm section. But as soothing as Somewhere Only We Know was, I only found it as background music at best, and like most America, lost interested making Keane a good candidate for one hit wonder land. And that was almost the case as the band almost split up in between albums.

That animosity clearly shows up on the album that nearly spawned the split and Under the Iron Sea is much darker from what I expected. The tone is set with the dark Atlantic that opens the disk. The mood builds and builds after a new creepy layer is brought starting with the piano, then the drums and other atmospheric sounds until it all comes crashing down when the vocals arrives only to build up once again. But the atmospheric mood quickly gives way to arena rock with the pompous Is it Any Wonder? The real wonder is how the three of them are able to create some much noise with the absent of guitars (and when it comes to arena rock, noise in a good way).

For those looking for a rehash of Somewhere Only We Know, don’t look for it on this album. Nothing in the Way starts off with what sounds like the same piano chords, but the song quickly becomes more edgy. But the chip on their shoulder vibe does wear thin after awhile making for a long fifty minute album. Hamburger Song and Try Again are the rare tracks where the band slows things down reminiscent of the former mellow self. Most of the songs sound like Coldplay channeling Pink Floyd but without the diversity. Maybe next time next time Keane should bring in a guitar for a song or two to spice things up for the next album. Well that's if they don't implode by the time that happens.

Song to Download - Is it Any Wonder?

Under the Iron Sea gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Big Head Ozzie and the Monsters

First let me clarify Ozzie Guillen’s oversized dome isn’t due to performance enhancers like say, Big Head Barry, instead it is thanks to his bloated ego. And the more he hears himself talk, the larger it gets. His most recent growth spurt in the head started last week when dude puts a pitcher, Sean Tracy, on the mound for the sole purpose of plunking someone just because another pitcher beamed A.J. Pierzynski, rightfully so, a couple times. When the pitcher was unable to hit the guy Guillen picked out for retaliation, he then promptly sends the pitcher back to minors. What a bush league thing to do. And even though Guillen all but admitted to ordering the plunking, Bud Selig, like always, just turned his head. If this was David Stern, there would be a lot of money going to a charity of his choice by now. Granted this is all just another reason to hate the American League and their horrible idea called the designated hitter.

But the bigger, and more recent case of Guillen loving to hear himself talk is when he turned sights onto Chicago writer, and one of the many reasons not to watch Around the Horn, Jay Mariotti whom Guillen said of, “What a piece of (expletive deleted) he is, (expletive deleted) (derogatory term for homosexual).” Now I could care less what people say, I’ve heard a lot worse come out of kids that haven’t hit puberty yet. But here’s why I’m offended, that he’s throwing around insults that dudes in Middle School use as frequently as “The.” I’d like to think a grown adult, especially one who is in a position that requires a lot of public speaking, could come up with a more original insult that a sixth grader.

Well I was offended until I heard his apologies, which could rank as one of the greatest apologies of all time: “I don't have anything against those people. In my country, you call someone something like that and it is not the same as it is in this country.” Nothing says I’m sorry like referring to those you offended as “those people.” Oh, and Guillen has lived in the United States for twenty years and is a naturalized citizen, so that throws away that excuse. And when he said he apologized to “the people I offended” he actually used air quotes. Classy.

But that’s not the part that makes it the best apology ever, this is; Guillen further explained to Greg Couch of the Sun-Times that he has no problem with gays, and that he has gay friends, goes to WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to attend the Gay Games in Chicago. Really nothing says how gay friendly you are then going to WNBA games and Madonna concerts. I'm surpised he didn't bust out, "and I watch Will and Grace." This apology could actually be more insulting then the original slur. Oh, also lost in the apology, he called Mariotti “a piece a (expletive deleted)” again, twice, and threw in “he’s not a man” for good measure. Best apology ever.

Then after his initial comments, Guillen then got thrown out of that night’s game after one of pitcher, David Riske actually succeeded in plunking a batter in retaliation. Then today, surprisingly Bud Selig handed down some punishment for his actions. And for those keeping track at home, here’s the tally: Ordering a pitcher to plunk someone and missing - none; Ordering a pitcher to pluck someone and succeeding - one game suspension and undisclosed fine; Making offensive statements - undisclosed fines.

Girl Go Ahead Let Your Hair Down

As we entered this new decade, one genre that has seemed to disappear from the musical landscape has been R&B. Don’t talk to me about Usher or Ciara because that type of R&B has been taken over Hip-Hop influences. Yeah, it was novel when Mary J. Blige invented the sub-genre over ten years ago, but now that every R&B artist has Hip-Hop producers all over their albums, it’s become tiresome. Even Alicia Keys, whose first two albums were great, sometimes lets Hip-Hop take over too much in her songs. When I talk about real R&B music, I’m talking about baby making music like Boyz II Men and Babyface.

Enter Corinne Bailey Rae and her self titled debut album. The English songbird has actually been able make an R&B record in 2006 that doesn’t have any Hip-Hop beats on it. Rae has been touted as a cross between Macy Gray and India.Arie but her voice is much more assessable than Gray’s (though it does take a little time to get used to) and goes far beyond Arie’s acoustic soul leanings. The comparison must come from the acoustic guitar driven second single Put Your Records On.

In fact on the album Rae is able to catch the vibe of R&B throughout the decade starting with the opener, Like a Star, a soft and stripped down song that evoke Billie Holiday. She then moves into the sixties with Trouble Sleeping which could have fit in easily at a time when Motown ruled. Then Call Me When You Get This with its pseudo-disco beat could have been played during the hey day of Studio 54. Breathless would have a good edition to any Anita Baker album. With the closing track, Seasons Change, Rae is even able to evoke Alicia Keys without the Hip-Hop beats.

This album may not be enough to bring back real R&B nor will it produced more babies than a Barry White release, but it’s definitely worth a listen to anyone who misses silky voices and are tired of aggravated drum beats. The diversity of the album, mixing a wide range of soul music as well as a wide variety of instruments from song to song, should keep Corinne Bailey Rae in music collections for years to come.

Song to Download - Trouble Sleeping

Corinne Bailey Rae gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I've Been Hurt by My Past but I Feel the Future

One of the best debut albums this decade was Nelly Furtado’s Whoa Nelly! Yeah, it was a little uneven at times but when she was on, it was great like with Turn out the Light. The mix of techno and pop was refreshing at a time that overproduced music was being overexposed. Then for her next album, Nelly went more introspective and stripped down for her follow up Folklore which was wrongfully overlooked.

But after hearing the new single, Promiscuous, it sounds like as if Nelly has done a complete one-eighty from the introspective stripped down songs from her last album instead going for of a hip-hop influenced album for her latest album Loose. And how do you spot a hip-hop album, you might ask, well it’s as simple as looking at the track list and count up the songs that are “featuring” someone as this album features more artist than her last two combined (for those keeping track at home, it would be 3-0 and that doesn’t include the bonus track and the pulled before the album went to press track featuring the dude from Coldplay). Another tell tale sign is in the production as in addition to her usual production team of Track and Field, Nelly brought in uber-producers Timbaland and Pharrell of the Neptunes as well as Scott Storch, the hip-hop producer rappers go to when they can’t afford Dr. Dre.

Much has been made of Nelly’s new sound biting that of Gwen Stefani’s solo effort of 80’s dance music meets 00’s hip-hop beats and for most of the first half album most notable on the upbeat Glow and the slow jam Showtime but Do It is vintage Madonna circa Holiday. Although I think Promiscuous is less Hollaback Girl (or My Humps for that matter) and has more of a lineage to 90’s rap classic, I Got a Man. But the problem with these songs is they are clearly disposable and will fall into obscurity within a couple years and will be forgotten until Hal Sparks waxes poetic about them on I Love the 00’s.

Sadly Maneater isn’t a cover of the Hall and Oates classic and really that’s all I have to say about that song.

Then in the middle of the album Nelly switches gears and goes to her roots with the Spanish influenced No Hay Igual which should be heard coming from every bar down in South Beach this summer or from every campaign bus of politicians trying to court the Hispanic vote in the midterm elections. Nelly then duets with Latin superstar Juanes for Te Busque. Oddly enough there is a bonus Spanish Version at the end of the album although its title isn’t in English. Then Say it Right has Cuban drum beats that would make Shakira jealous.

Nelly then ends the album with the types of songs that peppered Folklore though none hit the emotional high that Try did. In God’s Hand lays it on pretty thick. But she does much better with All Good Things (Come to an End) co-written with the dude from Coldplay but this one was left on the album. Wait for You sounds like something from the Whoa Nelly! era. Loose is a decent mix of old and new, but hopefully on her next album, Nelly lays off the disposable pop that liters the front half of the album.

Song to Download - Promiscuous

Loose gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.