There are many things that make March the greatest month of the year, St. Patrick’s Day, March Madness, the beginning of spring, the occasional Mardi Gras or Easter. But there is no greater March ritual than McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, the minty goodness that the restaurant chain rolls out each year to celebrate the Irish’s special day and this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Unfortunately it seems I am not the only person enamored by the drink because it seems whenever I drive by my local establishment they say they are already out which leads me on a pilgrimage to all the McDonald’s in a twenty-five mile radius.
Hopefully you all are familiar with Shamrock Shakes because I’m not entirely sure if the whole nation gets the specialty shake this time of year as I was in San Diego a couple years ago in early March when I asked person at the counter in the airport if they had any Shamrock Shakes and he gave me this look as if I was speaking another language (okay, maybe that isn’t an unusual reaction I get from strangers). So for those unfamiliar with them and to show that I am, indeed, not insane, here is a commercial. God bless YouTube.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
The first will.i.am man love video for Barak Obama was entertaining in a where did they find Ashley Banks kind of way. But this is just overkill. C’mon, Landry, I expect better of you. And like a dude from Texas in a Christian death metal band would ever vote Democrat. The only thing than can be considered entertaining about this video is figuring out which “stars” appear because the whole heartedly think Obama would make a great president and which ones just signed on for self promotion. This harkens back to the last election cycle with Diddy’s Vote or Die campaign when some of the spokespeople weren’t even registered to vote (*cough* Paris Hilton *cough*). And Jessica Alba’s diatribe makes me think that it is about time to bring back the IQ test for voting.
I am not entirely sure if this is a serious video from Mariah Carey or if she is thinking she is semi-ironic. I guess I am too busy figuring out why she wears less clothing the older she gets. Can we expect a Playboy layout when she his sixty?
What do you do when people don’t find you funny anymore, well if you are Willie Nelson you get Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson and, um, Jessica Simpson to drive lawnmowers. And unlike the previous video, this one is legitimately funny.
Warning: mild spoilers ahead for the new season of Dirt which premieres this Sunday at 10:00 on FX.
Whenever I stand in the grocery checkout line and glance over to see a headline to the effect of, “Jamie Lynn Spears tells boyfriend he’s not her baby daddy” I always feel a little dirty. Which would make Dirt the perfect title for a show about a tabloid magazine. The show was created by Courteney Cox and David Arquette and follows Cox as DirtNow’s editor in chief and dealing in rumors and innuendos didn’t help her character as she was stabbed by one of her biggest target of the first season in the finale who subsequently was hit by a car after fleeing the scene.
Despite the nausea inducing concept of following the lowest of the low on the human evolutionary scale, the show has a quick wit and more than a few interesting characters most notably the lead paparazzo that carries on conversations with his cat. The new season also sees a new reporter that Dirt fleeces from a more respectable newspaper who has to unlearn what he studied in journalism school to get ahead in his new job and Willa (Alex Breckenridge) has no problem showing him the ropes.
Naturally the cliffhanger of Cox is resolved quickly (surprise, she’s alive) and she is back to work to find that somehow she has been scooped on her own stabbing by the other tabloids and is out to find a new story. The first she finds is story about a pregnant former stripper who inherited a substantial sum from her much older billionaire husband. Mmm, where have I hear this before?
Other stories under consideration are a starlet who is caught chasing after he former assistant’s mom, again strangely familiar. Then there is the sitcom star, as played by Tom Arnold who knows a thing or two about tabloids, who has a answering machine message calling his daughter names leaked to the internet (it’s like déjà vu…) followed by a YouTube phenomenon where he is drunk on the kitchen eating a pasta bowl (…all over again).
Then there is the famous for being famous heiress Milan Carlton, played by the chick from Point Pleasant, who drunkenly drives on the off ramp prompting some jail time. An heiress with no redeemable talent and a city in Europe first name and a hotel for the last who spent time jail; why does that sound familiar? This is going to bug me for a while until I can figure that out. But I do not remember the real life story ending as hilariously.
You can try to figure it out for yourself when the second season premiere of Dirt airs this Sunday at 10:00 on FX. You can also check out Dirt on iTunes or Amazon Unbox.
Before I get into the debate itself, let me thank the local NBC station for preempting the series premiere of Quaterlife, sparing my neighbors from even the opportunity of seeing the show. I had seen an advanced copy of the first episode almost a year ago and was surprised to learn that not only they decided to make more for the internet that they would actually put it on network television. The show is horribly acted with dialogue that is too talky, and obviously written by dudes on the wrong side of fifty, spoken by characters that are not at all likable. As someone who recently went through a Quaterlife crisis I am offended by such crap.
As for the debate itself, you know your campaign is in trouble if you are complaining about always having to answer the questions first. One should be happy to get to answer a question first so you can get the chance to set the tone and the tone Hilary Clinton set last night is that she is a complainer. And she didn’t help dig herself out of that whole when she awkwardly referenced the Saturday Night Live, asking Barak Obama (seriously, Fred Armesen?) if he would like a pillow. Not only did she did not get a laugh when she paused for one, there was a dead silence followed by a spattering of boos.
That was basically about the involvement of the Cleveland crowd which seemed to be about as bored as I was, no cheering, no real booing, not even an applaud line. And the pre-show Hardball with Chris Matthews from the Cleveland State University, the background was almost as sedate to the point I was embarrassed to have taken classes there. Usually when Hardball is on a college campus, the crowd is raucous with opposing signs and warring chants for their candidate of choice even if they were not there. Instead we got what looked like a church choir with blue shirts which was puzzling because I though Green was school color.
I know it was so snowy to the point instead of announcing all the school closings, the local radio DJ just said, “If you can hear my voice, you don’t have to go to school today,” (not to mentioned I have had to shovel three times in the past two days with snow banks getting up to my waist) you’d think there would be some student that would take the five minute walk from the dorm to where the debate was just for the change of getting national television. This doesn’t bode well for Obama if the weather is bad come November. Oh and here is the previously mentioned SNL sketch:
Another Country is a perfect title for an album by Tift Merritt. Even though she is a country artist in the traditional sense, but she certainly isn’t like mainstream country has become over the past three decades which insults the intelligences of those of us north of the Mason-Dixon Line with at the very least a high school diploma. While listening songs about how sexy tractors or checking chicks for chicks, you can almost here the Nashville record executives telling artist to dumb it down for those who are still so amused by the Doppler Effect they are willing to watch cars turn left for hours on end.
So unfortunately true country artist like Merritt, Ryan Adams and Shelby Lynne get lost in the shuffle as the country label scares off the educated but their songs are too high brow for country radio (ironically enough Lupe Fiasco wrote Dumb it Down for the rap radio which is starting to fill up with as much morons as country radio). But do not let the country label scare you; Merritt is more Emmylou Harris than a redneck woman like Gretchen Wilson.
In fact the album is virtually void of fiddles and banjos (there is plenty of slide guitar though) and her Carolina drawl isn’t overwhelming she can certainly finds her way around a melody. Where country radio is filled with the same tired guitar riffs and done me wrong lyrics, Another Country effortlessly deviates from the formula with songs that pull in influences from rock, folk, bluegrass and even and even a song with some R&B influenced horns. And she probably doesn’t invite any new country listeners in with her album closer which is sung in French.
Seven Mary Three is best known for their biggest (arguably only though Water’s Edge rocked too) hit Cumbersome. The song was the epitome of southern rock with crunching post-grunge guitars and a singer with such a menacing voice it sounded like he gargles with Whiskey for a month before he laid his growl to the record. The fact that the dude rocked a Fu-Manchu somehow made the song even. To this day, you can still hear drunken bar dwellers who can come up with a quarter to put in a jukebox that hasn’t changed its tracks in a decade chant “I have become cumbersome” despite not having a clue what that even means.
Twelve years and five years later Seven Mary Three is still at it with their latest album Day&nightdriving. And what makes the album so disappointing is the loss of that month long Whisjey gargling voice. It is almost as if they replaced the lead singer with someone who takes shots of milk and walks right out of a club if he sees just one person smoking inside. If it were not for Cumbersome, Day&nightdriving would be a decent southern rock jam that is the right mix of rock and roll, country, and folk. But if you love the nineties as much as VH1, it would be hard to listen to the album without hoping that the singer just lets loose the distinctive snarl from their most famous song.
Quote of the Week: You just Scooby Doo’d me, didn’t you? (Hurley, Lost)
Song of the Week: Good Lovin’ - The Young Rascals (As song by multiple Coma Guys, Eli Stone)
Big News of the Week: Friday Night Lights Shines On, Maybe: In a story I broke two weeks ago, Ben Silverman Is a Humongous Tool. Since then there were rumors of a Friday Night Lights movie to wrap up the show which I discredited because that is the token cool down the fanatics but making them think they will get a movie. Of course I’m still waiting an Angel movie The WB promised after it unceremoniously axed that show.
Then Variety posted an article (which I found courtesy of Herc of Ain’t It Cool fame) which said not only is there a possibility of a third season of Friday Night Lights, but it may be on multiple channels (think what NBC did this year with one of its five hundred Law and Order’s airing earlier on USA and saw a ratings boost). What makes me suspicious of this article is that NBC declined to comment, and there is no source mention in the article. Plus the network floated for sharing the show are The CW (why would they share with another network channel), E! (which only airs trashy shows, so FNL would not fit between The Girls Next Door reruns), and G4 (you know, the video game channel, granted Madden is one of the best selling video games and it does syndicate the also canceled too soon Arrested Development). More credible channels mentioned were TNT (who know drama so would fit perfectly) and Direct TV (which previously picked up daytime NBC show Passions). But even then, unlike the L&O case, none of these are owned by NBC Universal like USA. So until I hear anything official from NBC, my hopes will not be raised.
Coalition Links of the Week: Buzz wondered if a movie version of The Wire would be a good idea. (BuzzSugar)
Sandie shared a preview clip from the new season of FX's Dirt. (Daemon's TV)
The return of live American Idol makes Mikey nostalgic for the TV of yesteryear. (Mikey Likes TV)
Marcia considered whether Ashes to Ashes was a worthy successor to Life on Mars. (Pop Vultures)
Rae dissected what she liked and disliked about the Knight Rider movie and admits she'd probably still give it a shot if NBC picks it up. (RTVW)
Cover your ears, TV fans. Jennifer couldn’t contain her anger and ranted against NBC for canceling Las Vegas. (Tube Talk)
The TV Addict helps pitch Friday Night Lighta to the CW, TNT and SCI FI. (the TV Addict)
Vance LOVES Lost even though he is completely lost while trying to follow the show. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace was underwhelmed by Knight Rider, entranced by Lost, and hungry for more of BBC's culinary competition, Last Restaurant Standing. (Televisionary)
Dan dug up some reality show contestants' porno past, including folks from Survivor and American Gladiators. (TiFaux)
Welcome to the Captain: Still isn’t funny. Seriously, a cameo by Chunky Spice from *NSYNC? Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or Welcome to the Captain on iTunes.
My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad: Okay, I didn’t actually watch this. But from the five seconds they showed on Best Night Ever, I’m thinking Family Double Dare should sue.
Survivor: There has to be an inverse correlation between the intelligence of the survivors to the enjoyably of a season and thank God the favorites are some of the dumbest that have played the game. First you have Cirie deciding to go with the two couples instead of the loosely configured alliance. Then instead of trying to convince her of getting back into their alliance, Jonathan decides to berate her at camp and tribal council. And out of nowhere, Amy decides to vote for Cirie instead of with her alliance. And to make the episode even more enjoyable, they allowed contact between the survivor in the immunity challenge which always end badly. And by badly, I mean highly enjoyable. You had dudes body slamming chicks, people pull off other people’s clothes, Mike hitting on the other tribe. They really need to have more full contact challenges per seasons. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Lost: Ugg, it looks like Lost may be falling back into its cycle of fifty-five minutes of tedium boredom with five minutes of jaw dropping plot twists. And even Not-Henry was calling out the show for recycling its plots with Locke locking up in a room bringing him food like in season two. Really the only thing that happened in the first fifty-five minutes was the revelation that everyone off the island thinks that only the Oceanic Six survived the crash aside from two that died after the crash. Of course being Lost this will end up sounding more important that it actually will be.
The big shocker of course being that Kate is now taking care of Aaron and it sounds as if she is making people believe that it is hers, this also presumably answers the question of who Kate had to get back to in the finale. But of course it creates more questions than it answered. Like does Aaron count as part of the six? I can see this going either way. Why would Jack avoid Aaron? Does he not know it is him? Or is his guilt so large that he doesn’t want to be reminded of what he did? I guess he hasn’t found out that it is his nephew. What happens to Claire? Does she die? Is she still on the island? Did she give up Aaron voluntarily so he didn’t have to grow up on the island? And where were the creepy black dude and/or his minions during the episodes, the one that approached Hurley and presumably Sayid is killing?
But during the uber-boring first part, I got to thinking of the Oceanic 6’s celebrity and the funeral that Jack went to last season. Many assumed Locke but it seems unlikely that a member of the Oceanic 6 would have no one show up at their funeral, certainly there are the morbid celerity seekers that would show up. My other thought back then was Not-Henry, but he seemed too powerful to end up like that. I am wondering if it were one of the Other Redux, the one whom he made a plan with to get off the island that ended up in the casket, Miles maybe. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
Eli Stone: In my First Impressions, I mentioned that if Andrew from Buffy the Vampire Slayer showed up I may have to check myself for an aneurism, well Uncle Phil showing up is close enough. Seriously, this show may have the best casting director on television, well if it weren’t for the chick from Species. If only the writing were as good, it was pretty well telegraphed that the nappy headed lawyer would end up being offered a job. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.
Promo of the Week: After hyping the free Sports Illustrated Swimsuit video last week, I did a little stalking researching of the host of the video Brooklyn Decker and found that she was cast in failed NBC pilot, Lipshitz Saves the World and even though the show did not get picked up, of course a trailer for the show popped up on YouTube:
Seriously, how was this not picked up. I had the making of instantly being the funniest show on television. It would be like Chuck: The High School Years but actually funny and somehow with a hotter Token Hot Chick. Plus it has Leslie Nielsen playing Leslie Nielsen. Hopefully it is not too late for a slot on newly announced NBC year long television season or at the very least the concepy would make for a great movie idea. Someone get Judd Apatow on the phone for that.
Next Week’s Pick: Democratic Debate, Tuesday at 9:00 on MSNBC: You think the marketing people at a major network would be able to come up with a better nickname than Super Tuesday II but apparently that is what they are going with. A week before Texas and Ohio go to the polls, the two candidate’s debate just north of me. This may be Hilary Clinton’s last stand as she hasn’t won a primary or caucus since the original Super Tuesday. Nor can she be happy that Dave Schuster got reinstated just before the debate on the same channel. But it is hard to feel sorry for her about the pimping comments when she is eager to make light of her husband’s infidelities at the last debate. You really can’t take the moral high ground when you do that. But anyways. Since I am within driving distance (and have a working Cleveland State student ID), if MSNBC, the Democratic Party, or anyone who can hook me up with some tickets, credentials, or get my questions included in the debate, or get me into a Frank Luntz focus group, shout me a holla.
Inexplicably Scarlett Johansson of all people will soon be releasing an album of Tom Waits covers. Thankfully my personal favorite song of his didn’t make her cut. I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You always remind me of closing time circa college in the winter. There is a very cold feeling to the song that really hits on the loneliness of the winter months which we are smack dab in the middle of right now.
Got a few press releases from TBS and The Sci-Fi Channel, combined they are too long so here is a shorter, bulleted version in Laymen’s Terms:
- My Name Is Earl goes into syndication on TBS Mondays at 10:00 and 10:30 starting March 3rd. As I have stated before, the pilot of My Name Is Earl is the funniest half ever in the history of television and the second season’s Our Cop’s is On isn’t that far behind. So if you haven’t seen the show before or a late comer, here is the best way to catch up from the beginning. Of course if you perfer to watch the episodes whenever you want without commercials, you can buy them on iTunes or Amazon Unbox.
- TBS ordered up eight more episodes of the variety show Frank TV which is slated to return later this year. I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough of fat versions of Jack Nicholson and George Bush. You can download the first season of Frank TV on iTunes.
- Ellen DeGeneres has signed up to host variety specials for both The Comedy Festival, set for November in Las Vegas, and the new five day festival, Just for Laughs: A Very Funny Festival set for Chicago summer 2009 with specials airing on TBS.
- Over on the Sci-Fi Channel, March 5th at 9:00 sees the return of GhostHunters where Jason and Grant investigate the legendary Fort Mifflin in Philadelphia, once the site of bloody battles in both the Revolutionary and Civil Wars. But my personal favorite part of the press release is where it says, “Ghost Hunters is also very successful with young female viewers – on average, the Fall 2007 season outperformed new episodes of CW’s Gossip Girl in over the same 6-week period in Adults 25-54.” Isn’t Gossip Girl what The CW was hoping to be its flash ship program? You can download episodes of GhostHunters on Amazon Unbox
- Premiering right after GhostHunters at 10:00 is Destination Truth where Josh and team set out into the mountains of Nepal to uncover the truth behind the infamous myth of the Yeti, and make the remarkable discovery of what could be three separate footprints left by this elusive creature.
- Then there is BattleStar Galactica which returns April 4th. You can check out the sneak peak for season four over at its YouTube page. Also be on the look out for a special clip with celebrities talking about their favorite BSG moments coming in early March. You can download episodes of Battlestar Galactica on Amazon Unbox as well as the Razor movie.
Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking, so I watched License to Wed. And boy did that suck massively. I mean seriously, was I really supposed to laugh at anything in that movie? But anyways. Luckily Ms. Moore redeemed herself with the much more watchable Dedication where Mandy plays an illustrator picked to work with a children’s book writer, Billy Crudup (Almost Famous) with a massive case of OCD whose longtime illustrator, Tom Wilkerson (Michael Clayton) is no longer able to perform the task.
In Dedication, Moore was handpicked to get Crudup to deliver a new book within a month’s time. The relationship between the new partners isn’t a smooth transition as does all he can to break her while the publisher does all he can to make sure she gets the book done on time. And a tall task that is as Crudup doesn’t function well around others. Wilkerson was his best friend and a very loose phrase as theirs was mostly a working relationship.
The film is a romantic in the simplest sense as sparks fly the more time the two spend together, but Crudup’s eccentricities keep you wondering if the two could actually be compatible. Moore, who doesn’t show up in the film for some time, isn’t really the model of normal either as she deals with her mother/land lord (Dianne Wiest) who seems to want to be the latter more than the former. And the shady ex-boyfriend throws in a monkey wrench too. Dedication is much is a much more jarring than most romantic comedy fair in terms of writing, acting, and directing, but it is much easier to sit through than License to Wed.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Every new Kanye West video has become a major event almost like when you ran home from school to catch the latest from the likes of Michael Jackson which MTV would air hourly for the entire day. But I haven’t decided if his latest, directed by Spike Jones of all people, is a case of him being too high concept or not high concept enough. And yes, the video was supposed to stop like that and no, there won’t be a sequel or any further explanation (or so ‘Ye would have us believe).
It has been awhile since I took the record industry to task, but this may be up their as one of the dumbest. So R.E.M. has a new video out except you can’t embed the video from YouTube. Yet there is a site where you can edit the video at Supernatural Superserious and upload your version to their YouTube page. Except you can embed those (one of which is above) using the same song and much of the same footage. Seriously, why allow one but not the other? But anyways, the song reminds me of something circa the Monster era which coincidently was the last time I was really big into R.E.M., that’s not to say they haven’t has some great songs since.
Hands on Me - Vanessa Carlton
This video from Vanessa Carlton hopefully brought to you from Purell.
If there ever a reason not to let a seventeen year old borrow your camcorder, here is the directorial debut from Taylor Swift. And is she really doing the Soulja Boy dance in the video? It may be time to raise the minimum voting age back up.
Cover albums are always a shaky proposition, especially when artist try to go outside their comfort zone or genre. Just because you like a song doesn’t necessarily means you can do as good a version yourself (anyone remember the Duran Duran version of White Lines). And it I typically a rule of thumb to stay away from iconic songs as no one what to her a piano version of Smells Like Teen Sprit. Yes I’m talking to you Tori Amos.
For Allison Moorer, she mostly stays away from the most recognizable songs on her album of covers, Mockingbird, with two exceptions. Most notably is Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire where Moore takes the song back for women (the song was written by Johnny’s future wife June Carter), but it still takes some time getting used to a slowed burning version sans a mariachi band instead replaced by an organ. The other song being Dancing Barefoot, the Patti Smith classic, a song that Moorer can’t quite do justice to a song that mentions heroin.
Moorer does much better with the lesser known songs on the album. Nina Simone’s I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl is right up her wheelhouse and really lets loose at the end. Same goes for the bluesy Daddy Goodbye Blues (which is extra haunting considering her family history) and the folksy Orphan Train. But she really excels at songs that are closest to her own like the title track and her take on Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now.
Before I get into the best in television from the last week I would like to point out the lack of any correct answers so far in this month’s Lyrics Quiz. I guess since it is guilty pleasures some of you may be embarrassed to admit you know the lyric, but if I can admit that they are on my iPod, you can at the least admit you know the lyrics. Anyone? Anyone at all? I even added hints.
Quote of the Week: Here’s an idea, why don’t we take a gun point it to his big toe, send that little piggy to market. If he still doesn’t want to tell us, move on to the roast beef. Why don’t we do that? (Sawyer, Lost)
Song of the Week: Wait, no George Michael on Eli Stone this week? Did they already bust their music budget on Faith and Freedom?
Big News of the Week: The Writer’s Strike Is Over: Well that was anti-climatic especially since we won’t see any new episodes until at least late March for sitcoms and mid April for dramas. And all seems to be for not as my sources say the writers got a crap deal. But take note to all other union members out there, before you go on strike, think to yourself, “Would Upton Sinclair write about my plight if he were alive today?” If the answer is no, it really isn’t a good idea to go on strike.
Coalition Links of the Week:
Buzz is pitting all of this season's Project Runway looks against each other to figure out which is the most fab. (BuzzSugar)
Eric came up with the Top 5 TV Villains on television today. (Daemon's TV)
With all of this early news about the Fall 08 season, Mikey wonders why How I Met Your Mother still hasn't found an audience after three years on the bubble. (Mikey Likes TV)
Marcia celebrated Valentine's Day by remembering some of television's greatest kisses. (Pop Vultures)
After attending the taping of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew premiere episode, Spads shared tidbits from her conversations with judges JC Chasez, Lil Mama, and Shane Sparks. (RTVW)
Last week, Vance bawled while watching Friday Night Lights. Now he may bawl at the thought of NOT being able to watch any more new Friday Night Lights. (Tapeworthy)
Dan took some time to think about whether he actually liked Eli Stone, or whether it was just the best scripted show still in new episodes. Either way, Jonny Lee Miller's dreamy. (TiFaux)
Jennifer pondered why everyone falls for Boston Legal’s Shirley Schmidt and gushed about Scott Bakula’s visit to the firm. (Tube Talk)
Kate came up with a Gossip Girl drinking game. (TV Filter)
Taking a page from How I Met Your Mother's Barney and his Hot/Crazy Scale, the TV Addict is proud to introduce the Lost Quality/Question Scale! (theTVaddict.com)
Flavor of Love 3: For the previously seasons, the only episodes worth watching were the premiere and the reunion show. But this was by far the least entertain premiere of the three season. Hopefully there will be a Charm School around the corner. You can download Flavor of Love on iTunes.
Welcome to the Captain: Yeah, this isn’t going to get much better. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or Welcome to the Captain on iTunes.
Survivor: Wow, that may set the record for shady business for the show. What really makes it interesting, not only did the Incredible Hulk looking dude conspired to out Mary, he ended up voting for the old chick. It should be really interesting with the two different tribe members from opposing tribes going to Exile Island this time. This is setting up to be the best season in a long time. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Lost: After seeing the episode I have absolutely no clue what is going on with Sayid’s flash-forward. And that was even before we learned that he is working for Not-Henry. I guess what is really bugging me is that how does a celebrity able to become an assassin? And who is the German chick’s boss? The black dude who approached Hurley? Then is Not-Henry part of the Oceanic 6? I mentioned earlier this week that I bet he got off the island but I am not sure he counts as one on account that he wasn’t on the plane. I also guess that this rules out Not-Henry as my original guess that it was his funeral that Jack attended. From the promo it looks like we may get an answer to how Kate managed to avoid prison which bugged me last year. But considering Sayid large sum, I am going to assume that the combination of celebrity and money is what keeps her out of jail. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
Eli Stone: I never saw the husband and son in on getting the mom out of the National Guard. But one thing that bothered me is that if you are trying to get custody to the mom, why would you let the husband hire the high powered lawyer while the mom is stuck with the incompetent one? Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.
Next Week’s Pick: Eli Stone, Thursday at 10:00 on ABC: The episode is entitled Wake Me Up Before You Go Go although after last week’s musicless episode I’m not sure if the song will actually be featured or not. Hopefully they work it in somehow.
In a story I broke last week, tomorrow is the network series premiere of Dexter (or tonight depending on when you read this, at any rate, Sunday, 10:00 on CBS). I have already seen it so I really didn’t plan on rewatching it myself, but I was interested on how the edited for television. Granted they didn’t really need to do much in my opinion aside from the occasional expletive or naked breast or bottom side. And much of the gore is more about what you don’t see than what you do (think about the ear cutting scene in Reservoir Dogs where they actually pan away from the act). From these exclusive clips below (unless of course you have seen them elsewhere, but in not, they’re exclusive to you), it doesn’t look like they have cut out much, although considering the Showtime show runs an extra ten or so minutes so something must hit the cutting room floor. Be warned, these clips are not for kids, the faint of heart, or anyone that doesn’t want to see what a body completely drained of blood looks like. For those that do, enjoy.
Now, all the ladies and gay dudes, feel free to skip down to the lyrics quiz below (there still is an overabundance of unanswered one) because the next part is just for the guys. And guys, what a treat I have for you. From today until February 25th, you can download the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Video exclusively, and more importantly free, from Amazon Unbox. Below is a preview of the video and to download the whole video, click, well, “Buy the Unbox video” (and as long as the price still says $0.00 then it is still free). Yeah, I would go as far as to say the Brooklyn Decker is moderlately attractive.
Every once in a while I get people asking me what my guilty pleasures are. The only problem with that is I do not have the capacity to feel the human emotion that is guilt. But here is a list of songs, as an accused musical snob, I probably shouldn’t admit to having on my iPod, but alas, I don’t really care if anyone knows. And if you think less of me maybe it is you that has the problem. As always you need to put both artist and title in the comments section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will un-bold it and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the quiz:
Hints: 3. A duet with one singer already i this quiz and the other's song namedropped in a different lyric in this quiz. 7. Not only is this song a guilty pleasure, but it is the theme song to a guilty pleasure television show (not that I ever watched). 10. Fun Fact: this song was written by Lenny Kravitz. 11. Another one of this artist songs certainly isn't about the artist at 21 on account the dude doesn't like chicks that way. 12. Not only is the song on my iPod, I can still do the accompaning dance. 18. This artist had the most acceptable guilty pleasure of last year but I like this classic one. 23. Somwhow this artist has gotten even more theatric since this over the top video for this song.
1. Not just urban she liked the pop ‘cause she was living la vida loca. (Thong Song - Sisqó; guessed by Angie) 2. For the first time in a long time she bowed her head to pray. She said I’m sorry for the way I’ve been living my life. I now I should change. (Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood; guessed by Angie) 3. My body’s longing to hold you so bad it hurts inside. Time is precious and it’s ticking away and I’ve been waiting for you all of my life. 4. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh no! (Do Me! - Bell Biv DeVoe; guessed by Angie) 5. You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time. (Leave (Get Out) - JoJo; guessed by Angie) 6. And I will take you in my arms and hold you right where you belong. (This I Promise You - *NSYNC; guessed by Angie) 7. Let’s go back, back to the beginning, back to when the Earth, the sun, the stars all aligned. 8. Whatever makes me happy sets you free. And I’m thanking you for knowing exactly. (What a Girl Wants - Christina Aguilera; guessed by Angie) 9. Take heed, ‘cause I’m a lyrical poet. Miami is on the scene in case you didn’t know it. (Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice; guessed by Angie) 10. I want to hold your hand in Rome. I want to run naked in a rain storm. Make love in a train. Cross country. 11. There was blood and a single gun shot. But just who shot who? 12. Now c’mon, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his two friends were SO fine. 13. Now I can see that we’re falling apart from the way it used to be. No matter the distance I want you to know that deep down inside of me… (I Want it That Way - Backstreet Boys; guessed by Angie) 14. Last time that we had this conversation I decided we should be friends. But know we’re going round in circles tell me will this déjà vu never end. (Say You'll Be There - Spice Girls; guessed by Angie) 15. You can take that cookie and stick it up your… (Nookie - Limp Bizkit; guessed by Angie) 16. New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. (Summer Girls - LFO; guessed by Angie) 17. And in my dreams I kissed your lips a thousand times. Sometimes I see you pass outside my door. 18. Run, Run, Run, Run everybody move run. Lemme see you move and rock it ‘til the grooves done. 19. You look like MC Hammer on crack. (The Humpy Dance - Digital Underground; guessed by Angie) 20. Get back you flea infested mongrel. (Who Let the Dogs Out - Baha Men; guessed by Angie) 21. So baby come to me. Show me who you are. Swing to me like sugar to my heart. (Candy - Mandy Moore; guessed by Angie) 22. I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita. And as I continue you know they getting sweeter. (Mambo #5 - Lou Bega; guessed by Angie) 23. Secret lovers is what you wanna be. While making love to him, girl, you’re silently calling on me. 24. Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair. (Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks; guessed by Angie) 25. See I’m a fool in so many ways. But to lose all my senses, that is just so typically me. (Oops! I Did it Again - Britney Spears; guessed by Angie)
Here is one for all the lovebirds out there celebrating Valentines Day today (or as I like to call it, Thursday). Two summers ago when writing a long diatribe about Your Song’s I called Have a Little Faith in Me the most romantic song ever, so really there is no better song for a day like today than this.
There are four types of shows I do not watch: shows about doctors, cops or lawyers and anything on Fox. But from the promos for Eli Stone, you could get the sense that the show was going to be the greatest thing ever, or the worst. The show is definitely the latter. And I mean that in a good way. I mean you really can’t expect a lawyer who is haunted by George Michael songs to be the next Wonderfalls; at most you can hope for the next Sledge Hammer!.
What the show excels at is its impeccable casting with a handful of “it’s that guy (gal)” moments in the first two episodes. My list includes Ms. Hendricks, Dr. Abbott (have I mentioned I met him?), Ed Stevens, The Shredder, and Mac’s roommate Parker (who definitely looks better with the short brown hair). Seriously, if Andrew from Buffy The Vampire Slayer shows up I may have to check to see if I also have an aneurysm. That is not to say the cast is perfect, I mean, the chick from Species? Certainly there was someone else out there that does not tower over the lead and is a more convincing human than alien.
Surprisingly the star of the show isn’t the title character Eli Stone, who really seems too nice and a push over to be a successful lawyer, but instead George Michael is the true star. Or at least his music is as his songs, Faith and Freedom were featured in the first two episodes with every episode being named after one his songs. Next week you can expect a Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go themed episode. Although considered that Stone is engaged to the boss’s daughter, I am a little weary for when Father Figure shows up.
The father in question is Victor Garber, finally out of the stuffy father role in Alias and can show his impeccable comic timing especially when he was the on Eli saw singing Freedom. But who could end up being the big scene stealer amongst so many of them is Eli’s acupuncturist who fakes his Chinese accent to get patients. Not so stellar is the writing that goes from hilarious, like when Eli asked his one night stand from college’s son was his for her to respond, “Yeah, I was pregnant for eight years,” to down right boring, like his voice over. It is almost as if the show was written by someone from Friday Night Lights but edited by a staff writer from One Tree Hill.
Verdict: Enjoy it why it last because I rank the chance of Eli Stone filming more episode than it has just slightly above Cavemen’s. But decent idea, great casting, suspect writing, and the post-Lost jinx does not bode well for the show. But as long as cheesy George Michael songs show up I’ll be watching. Eli Stone airs Thursdays at 10:00 on ABC. You can stream recent episodes at ABC.com or download the show on iTunes.
In what may have been a nod to the fanboys, Not-Henry promised to tell Locke anything he wanted to keep him from killing him and the first question Locke asked was at the top of everyone’s list, what the frak is that smoke monster thing. But in true Lost fashion, as everyone sits on the edge of the couches for the answer, Not-Henry said he didn’t know and proceeded to tell Locke every mundane fact about one of the new characters. Wow, all her siblings are chicks. Welcome back Lost, I missed you and your frustrating ways.
Although four seasons in I can’t say I’m that frustrated anymore. I made my peace last year that we are never going to get any answers and the few that we get will be two seasons too late or are so underwhelming I just do not care. And since I stopped caring I can enjoy the show for what it is absurdly funny. Dude takes to a spirit to extort money from a grieving mother. Sure, why not. The Lawnmower Man is convinced that a wedding rich couldn’t possibly fall off after being submerged for weeks. Of course not.
The big news of the first episode is there is an Oceanic Six that make it off the island. And surprisingly, according to voice over promo monkey we actually learn a fourth next week to add to Jack, Kate, and Hurley. Presumably four and five are the person Kate has to get back to (Sawyer), and the person who died (Locke). Which leaves one more; I put my money on Juliet. Of course the thing with Juliet is that she wasn’t actually on the plane so what if there are more people who make it to the mainland. I don’t think that the Others Redux will leave without Not-Henry, so what if ends up being the dead dude (whom I originally predicted)? And maybe there were up to eight people who made it off the island?
Or maybe more. What if Kate isn’t one of them either? You really think the government would let her off the hook for killing a dude and then fleeing the country just because she had to live on a deserted island for a couple months. Maybe she snuck back but Jack and Hurley are letting everyone think she is dead so she doesn’t have to go to jail.
Then the second episode brought in the new question of who are these Others Redux and what’s with the black dude who assembled them? Are they Dharma out for revenge? And how did they get a picture of Not-Henry, has he left the island? How does Desmond, who they also had a picture of, fit into their plans? And why recruit the ghost whisperer, a scientist, an anthropologist, and a nut-job pilot? The most interesting is Charlotte and her dig with the Dharma polar bear. Did Kristen Bell seriously choose to slum it on Heroes with the lame Elle instead of taking this character? And can I possibly ask anymore questions in this post?
Verdict: Like I mentioned earlier, the show is much more enjoyable when you stop caring. I don’t think I have enjoyed two straight episodes since the first season. Lost airs Thursdays at 9:00 on ABC. You can stream the most recent episodes over at ABC.com.
, who drunkenly drives on the off ramp prompting some jail time. An heiress with no redeemable talent and a city in Europe first name and a hotel for the last who spent time jail; why does that sound familiar? This is going to bug me for a while until I can figure that out. But I do not remember the real life story ending as hilariously.
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on my 
movie The WB promised after it unceremoniously axed that show.
is one of the best selling video games and it does syndicate the also canceled too soon 
). More credible channels mentioned were TNT (who know drama so would fit perfectly) and Direct TV (which previously picked up daytime NBC show Passions). But even then, unlike the L&O case, none of these are owned by NBC Universal like USA. So until I hear anything official from NBC, my hopes will not be raised.
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as well as the 
movie.
) with a massive case of OCD whose longtime illustrator, Tom Wilkerson (
) is no longer able to perform the task.
; at most you can hope for the next 
.
shows up I may have to check to see if I also have an aneurysm. That is not to say the cast is perfect, I mean, the chick from 
? Certainly there was someone else out there that does not tower over the lead and is a more convincing human than alien.
and can show his impeccable comic timing especially when he was the on Eli saw singing Freedom. But who could end up being the big scene stealer amongst so many of them is Eli’s acupuncturist who fakes his Chinese accent to get patients. Not so stellar is the writing that goes from hilarious, like when Eli asked his one night stand from college’s son was his for her to respond, “Yeah, I was pregnant for eight years,” to down right boring, like his voice over. It is almost as if the show was written by someone from 
but edited by a staff writer from One Tree Hill.
