There are very few things I could care less about than the Oscars. I have only watched the ceremony once and that was because Chris Rock was hosting. The show doesn’t appear on my radar mostly because every year, the categories are filled with movies I have never seen, and this year was no different as when the nominations were announced I hadn’t seen any movies in any of the major categories, but I had checked out Click which was actually nominated for something. What is worse is in the rare occurrence I do see a film that is not only nominated, but actually wins Best Picture, I find it to be the biggest waste of my time ever, much like the horrendous Crash last year (see my review: The Closest You Ever Came to Being Black Was Watching the Cosby Show).
Since the nominations, I have checked out one of the most nominated films, The Departed, if only to see how Mark Walberg could get nominated for an Oscar. Keep in mind folks; we are living in a time where both Marky Mark and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air both got nominated for an Oscar in the same year. To put that in perspective, it would be like predicting today that Kevin Federline and Nelly get nominated in 2021. But anyways.
After deviating into a bio flick and chronicling Bob Dylan’s music, Martin Scorcese is back to what he does back, directing a mobster movie. The twist though is the kingpin at the heart of the movie, Jack Nicholson (Batman), has groomed an informant since boyhood to join the Massachusetts State Police force, played by Matt Damon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). On the other side, the stare police planted their very one cadet, Leonardo DiCaprio (Growing Pains), on the road to crime, having the guy commit crimes to get him some jail time as well as some street cred. Naturally, the two informants come close to crossing paths without each other knowing the true identity of each other although Scorcese takes this a little too far with both boys taking up with the same girl at different parts of the movie.
But the predictability stops there. Once both of the boys are fully imbedded, the movie starts its twist and turns that is doubtfully anyone will come seeing. Yeah, the movie is a little long in part that it takes a while to get to that point, and it seems that no one really knew what would be the best way to end the movie so it take a while to wrap up properly. But it is a thoroughly enjoyable ride as a whole and the acting plays a big role as Nicholson naturally nails his performance as some of the smaller roles played by Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) as the captain and Martin Sheen (The West Wing) also as a Captain and one of only two who know that DiCaprio is undercover.
The other being Marky Mark (of the Funky Bunch) who performance left me wondering how exactly he got a the nomination, he only shows up occasionally to drop expletives (the movie features 237 F Bombs) in the most exaggerated Bostonian accent despite being a native of the city. To think, another of Boston’s sons, Denis Leary passed on the role because it conflicted with Rescue Me. Now that would have made an already good movie better.
Nothing like good ol’ reality television to let me know that I’m not a big as a nerd as some would have me to believe. Every year for the past three years, the self proclaimed twisted mind of Ashton Kutcher has provided plenty of them on Beauty and the Geek to make me look like the dude from The Notebook in comparison. And after a poor casting round for the second installment, the third group of geeks may be the geekiest of them all. From a Star Wars fan to a Trekkie (err apparently they like being called Trekkers) to a guy who knows pi to hundreds of places.
On the other side of the coin, the beauties were led by quite possibly the two dumbest contestants in the show’s short history. Every week Cecille Gahr and Megan Hauserman would say something so dumb you hope for their sakes that the producers were feeding them the line because no one should be that stupid, my personal favorite being Megan’s, “I’m a good screwer, in response to her winning the doghouse building challenge. Seriously, if tennis was Megan’s favorite activity that she wanted to share with Scooter, how could she not at least know how to keep proper score?
Unfortunately they were also the downfall for this season as the two girls that seemed to change the least, especially Cecille who seemed to revile in her Mean Girls persona and said she was traumatized at having to be nice to people when it was reveled that the ousted teams would be the ones to pick the winners. What’s worse is the girl isn’t all that attractive and if there was a place to bet on her looking like one of those creepy chicks that have had ten too many plastic surgeries within five years (like the naked model in the one guy’s challenge), I’d bet my life savings.
Also a disappointment was the lame “reunion” special which lacked an actual reunion aside from Nate Dern and Jennylee Berns. Instead of having a usual reunion with all the contestants in front of an audience, we get them all separate in a hotel interview. Not that there were many of those as it was more of a recap show with an occasional “never before seen” scenes that actually could have been seen on its website for weeks.
Now if you think you are a huge geek are extremely hot dumb, you can download an application from The CW website too. Now I got to figure out how to geeky enough to get myself on the show. And hopefully this if for the last time, but no, I am from the Show.
This week Lost promised three big mysteries solved while Veronica Mars pulled off one of the biggest shockers of the year. So let’s see who comes out on top of the second to last Toss Up for a while.
New Sheriff in Town Lost: The creepy old chick Veronica Mars: Keith is back in charge Winner: Veronica Mars
Big Guest Star Lost: The dude from 21 Jump Street Veronica Mars: The chick from, um, well, let check out imdb.com, oh yeah, But Can They Sing? Winner: Veronica Mars
Shot Down Lost: Juliet looks calm while taking down her fellow Other in the Previously On segment Veronica Mars: Saks is probably still shaking after gunning down the dude from 21 Jump Street Winner: Lost
Random Hook Up Lost: Jack and the chick from But Can They Sing? Veronica Mars: Logan and Parker Winner: Veronica Mars
Behind Bars Lost: Jack gets moved to the bear cage Veronica Mars: Veronica starts the show in the slammer Winner: Veronica Mars
MIA Lost: Everyone on the original island Veronica Mars: Dick and Piz Winner: Lost
Inked Up Lost: Jack gets a tattoo for, um, yeah, I really missed why Veronica Mars: Ronnie gets a tattoo for street cred in the joint Winner: Veronica Mars
In the Water Lost: Sawyer, Kate and other dude take a boat to get back to the main island Veronica Mars: Parker and Logan swim out past the breaker to get the last clue Winner: Veronica Mars
On the Internet Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Stranger in a Strange Land on iTunes Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Mars Bars on iTunes
This was easily was the biggest blowout in the year and a half I’ve been doing the Toss Up’s. I guess that will happen when you promise to reveal three big mysteries and fail to deliver. Speaking of the three, does anyone know exactly what they were? By my count, one was what happened to the flight attendant, although that wasn’t revealed in last week’s promo and we still don’t know why or what exactly what she is doing now. Second is we learned the history of Jack’s tattoo which I never realized were a big mystery until this episode. And the third I’m grasping at straws, but was it that The Others live on the big island, not the smaller one? So nothing about the smoke monster, nothing on Dharma, nothing on what The Others are doing or got there, we didn’t learn why Locke is in a wheelchair, who is Sun’s baby daddy, if Not-Henry is really Alex’s biological daddy, who the one eye man is, or what’s up with the statue leg. Oh well, at least there were no dream sequences this week.
But if you are interested on watching a show where all the big mysteries get answered in a timely fashion, there is always Veronica Mars. But after this episode, you really can’t talk about any mystery first; no you have to start at the end with the shocking death of Sheriff Don Lamb. I’m still in shock to the point I even came up with a theory on how Lamb is still alive. Here it goes: Lamb being in such a bad condition and unable of going after Mrs. O’Dell for putting him in that condition, decided to let his vengeance overpower his hatred for Keith to let people think he’s dead so Keith would replace him and go after O’Dell.
Other reasons to why Lamb may not be dead: His last words were, “I smell bread.” Seriously, how could they make that someone’s last words? The Mars’ are much better as anti-establishment so Keith as Sheriff wouldn’t work in the long term plus it would kill off Mars Investigations. And with MI no longer around, who would Ronnie moonlight for, Vinnie Van Lowe? And with Lamb gone, the Mars’ lose their best archenemies, after Ronnie/Dick scenes, Lamb with either Mars are the best on the show. Really, why do birds suddenly appear whenever he is near?
Okay, enough Lamb talk as he wasn’t the only one to die this episode either as my pre-arc pick of Steve Batando got taken out. So much for that pick. And our first two episode mystery of the week was solved but I’m not a fan of the dude doing it himself. Granted I was really hoping it was going to tie into the Dean’s death. Oh well.
Then there was Ronnie behind bars scene which was yet another instant classic for the show. You gotta love Keith, “I thought I’d be a little more traumatized by this, but I’m not” line. It was also a cheap catalyst for the B storyline with the Valentines scavenger hunt. Despite the cheesy start, Parker may just be a better fit for Logan than Vee. Although I’m not sure if Logan is the best thing for Parker right now. And speaking of the scavenger hunt how is that page from the Karma Sutra even work in the real world? If there are any token hot chick in Northeast Ohio that would like to help me figure that out, just shout me a holla.
Next week we supposable learn who killed the Dean and it looks like Keith didn’t learn from his mistakes from his last tenure and goes after Professor Landry pretty hard. Maybe this will be his downfall as sheriff once again. Also be sure to check back Monday as I’ll put up my official odds on who killed the Dean.
Before I get into some of the most entertaining music videos, I have to first say: Holy Frak! They killed Lamb! Be sure to turn in tomorrow to see my theory on why Lamb isn’t really dead. Now back to your regularly scheduled post:
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Norah Jones has gotten a bad rap for making sleep inducing music, but these videos are a complete 180 from their musical counterpart. I’m not sure what is more bizarre, the people in their underwear or Norah in a rat suit. Actually, now that I’ve thought about it, definitely Norah playing piano in a rat suit. You can check out my review of her album here: Love in the Time of War Is not Fair.
Do we really need a black and white Carrie Underwood video? Much like a nine minute Justin Timberlake video, the simple answer is no. With that and the cookie cutter model straight from the J. Crew catalogue and the beach locale it looks like they are trying to rip of the Wicked Game video but with the best parts removed (i.e. hot naked chick covered in sand). But I’ll give Underwood a pass because she is what I like to call moderately attractive. And the song is quite possible my favorite off her album. Take that American Karaoke fans who say I never have anything nice to say about the show or its karaokers. You can check out my review of her album here: Oh, There's Nothing Like Oklahoma.
Is it too early to call Gnarles Barkley the greatest one hit wonder ever? That question could hinge on the band getting another one, which didn’t happen with Gone Daddy Gone. Smiley Faces may lift them out of the category being that it is uber-catchy (though not as near as Crazy was). But at the very least they make some of the best videos around. And how can you not love a mocumentary that features Dennis Hopper and the dude from Quantum Leap?
Of all the pseudo-punk bands that have flooded the airwaves, Fall Out Boy were by far the band the sucked the least. Part of it could be that the band seems not to take themselves as seriously as their peers and their songs like Sugar, We’re Going Down and Dance, Dance weren’t dragged down by teen angst but were upbeat and sing-a-long staples while driving two years ago. Well they would have been if you could understand what singer Patrick Stump was saying so you had to make up your own lyrics sometimes. But if there were a Jump the Shark moment for music, it would definitely be the Thriller rip-off video for the song that would double the length of this post if I typed it. Since then the band lost even more of its thunder as rip of bands like Panic! at the Disco has gotten as much, if not more recognition and somehow even longer song titles.
Now the band is back to answer if a sophomore slump can pertain to a band’s fourth album Infinity on High. Just from looking at the track list you can tell it is still the same Fall Out Boy with their titles that range from lengthy (I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me + You)) to tounge in cheek (The Carple Tunnel of Love) and could possibly be the first band to have a less than sign in a song title with Fame (Less Than) Infamy. The album for some reason starts off with Jay-Z. No he isn’t rapping, just thanking all the fans, which really just happers the opeing track, Thiller (no not a Michael Jackson cover).
Jay-Z isn’t the only unexpected guest on the album as Babyface helms the production and plays some instruments on a few songs on the album. And there in lies the biggest problem with the album, much like a band that bassist Pete Wentz doesn’t care too much for, The Killer, Fall Out Boy tries too hard to push the boundaries but falls flat doing so. This is most apparent on I’m a Lawyer…, one of Babyface’s songs, where the band goes way too far into the easy listening genre with paint by numbers melody. Same with The (After) Life of the Party which sounds like something off the soundtrack of a lost John Hughes movie. On the other end of the spectrum, The Carpel Tunnel of Love inexplicably features a scream-core ending.
One of the few places where the band goes out of their comfort zone and excels is on Golden, a striped down song based around primarily a piano. But the band can still is at its best with their cheesy pop songs. And this time the sing-a-long are even more overt like in the first single, This Ain’t a Scene, it’s an Arms Race where they suggest, nee order you to sing along at the end. And it is doubtful that you will just hum along to Hum Hallelujah. But nothing here is as catchy as Sugar, We’re Going Down.
Big News of the Week: As I mentioned earlier this week, MeeVee has been revamped with all new featured. For more information on the change and how it benefits you, check out lowdown on GiveMeMyRemote.
How I Met Your Mother: They really should have stuck with the Barney running a marathon because the other storylines were a little boring. At the end, future Ted again brings up their mother which oddly I care least about the show. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
Heroes: Mmm, “Someone flies, someone dies.” Not as catchy as previous taglines. Also, is this someone else that flies besides the Patrelli’s? As for the dies part, I’d put my money on Nikki/Jessica.Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Aww, the late nineties, Eagle Eye Cherry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Y2K. Unfortunately it was all under the guise of Chandler’s hallucinations so this was the shows first misstep this season really with nothing much happening. And did we always now Luke worked at Studio 60? And why were they using his eight year old sketch in the present day show? Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The (White) Rapper Show: From the start I thought they were angling for a Persia/Sullie final but they both had to step off in the past two episodes. Could the King of the Burbs really be the next (White) Hope?
Friday Night Lights: I’m hoping that Tyra gets really drunk sometimes soon and hooks up with Landry. He trying to hit on her was more Landry classic, especially getting caught in the strip club. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Beauty and the Geek: I would like to thank everyone who sent me congratulations for winning despite multiple times stating I’m not the Scooter from the show. Check out the latest episode on CWTV.com .
Let's Rob Mick Jagger: After the brilliant speech that the Token Hot Chick gave in the pilot that got her into the gang, I didn’t think the legend of Rico could be topped, but the Rico was even funnier in person. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
Smallville: Lana has been pregnant a little too long for not even showing yet.
My Name Is Earl: It’s a little disappointing that we finally learned how Earl wronged the one legged lady in such a overall weak episode although the Fat Bottom Girls segment was great. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The Office: Holy David Daskell sighting! But I can’t imagaine it was a good idea for Jim to let Dwight think he was a vampire. Jim should know by now that Dwight would go so far as to stick a stake threw his heart.
Pick of the Week: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Monday, 10:00 NBC. This is the last episode before it goes on hiatus before The Black Donnelley’s. Hey at least it’s not being replaced for the Pussycat Dolls. After a rare off week, this episode should go out with a bang.
Lost is at its best this season whenever they focus on The Others, who were absent this week. While as Veronica Mars oddly enough is at its best whenever there is a scene in an elevator, which featured on in the past episode. But let’s see which episode was truly better by the numbers.
Words of Wisdom Lost: Desmond got some from old chick that may or may not be a figment of his imagination Veronica Mars: Logan got some from some young chick that may or may not be Dick’s sister-in-law Winner: Veronica Mars
Music Requests Lost: As a street-side performer in Desmond’s flashback/dream, Charlie played Oasis’s Wonderwall Veronica Mars: Heather requested Nick Lachey’s What’s Left of Me for Logan Winner: Veronica Mars
Return of the Evil Lost: Mr. Widmore makes an appearance in Desmond’s flashback/dream to crush Desmond Veronica Mars: Mr. Stultz returns as a suspect in the coach’s murder Winner: Lost
Wait, They Are Still on the Show? Lost: Pretty much any of the original passengers Veronica Mars: Wallace Winner: Veronica Mars
MIA Lost: Everyone on Other’s Island, oh and the new cast members were also absent Veronica Mars: Mac, Parker, Piz Winner: Lost
Trickery Lost: Hurley and Charlie get Desmond drunk to find out how he knows the future without him knowing that’s is their plan Veronica Mars: Keith makes Ronnie breakfast to get her to come to office for work Winner: Veronica Mars
Broken Up Over a Break Up Lost: Desmond still is hung up on Penny years later Veronica Mars: Logan is still hung up on Vee days later Winner: Veronica Mars
Fooled You Lost: Mr. Widmore made Desmond think that he was going to offer him some whiskey only to insult him during his flashback/dream Veronica Mars: Dick led Logan to believe that his future wife had a sister that was basically a twin Winner: Lost
Form of Entertainment Lost: Soccer Football on the telly Veronica Mars: Mario Cart Winner: Veronica Mars
Leader Replaced Lost: With Jack away, Locke has taken a leadership role Veronica Mars: With Weevil on the straight and narrow, Arturo is the new leader of the PCH’ers Winner: Lost
Marriage Problems Lost: Without her father’s Desmond decides against proposing to Penny Veronica Mars: After seeing her toes, Dick regrets getting married Winner: Veronica Mars
Cliffhanger Lost: “Charlie… You’re going to die.” Veronica Mars: “Ms. Mars, you are under arrest for the aiding and abiding of the escape of Josh Berry. You have the right to remain silent…” Winner: Veronica Mars
On the Internet Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Flashes Before Your Eyes over at iTunes Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Postgame Mortem at iTunes
There is nothing I hate more than dream sequences which is what made the most recent episode of Lost so excruciatingly painful to watch, like season two painful. What makes dream sequences so bad is that I never know what I’m supposed to get out of them: is it the character’s subconscious, is it what the writers want you to see. And the episode added another layer making us wonder if the whole thing actually happened, did Desmond really relive everything. And if that was so, how could he save Charlie the second time, if the first time around he died, then Desmond wouldn’t know he would have drowned had he not died originally. And this was basically the whole episode, with nothing happening except some puzzle pieces in Desmond back-story were filled, none of which were that interesting. Oh but next week there will be three big mysteries solve, which using previous Lost math means we will get thirty more questions to ask afterwards.
Luckily we have Veronica Mars who rarely is fails to move the storyline along. And we even get, as far as I can remember, the very first two part-er mystery of the week. And poor Wallace, he finally makes a triumphant return, to the team and the show, only to have his coach killed. I am kind of glad he bit the dust because I always thought they should have filled the coach’s shoes with a more high profile name like Charles Barkley, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, although they may want to cross Tim Haraway’s name of the list of potential replacements. I‘m also wondering if this will possibly tie into the Dean’s death.
But the best part of the night belonged to the Logan-Dick storyline and the girl Dick met that was so hot that he said he had to wear oven mitts just to feel her up and promised Logan her sister who was practically a twin. Logan delivered the great deadpan, “which one is yours when it turned out the sister was eleven. But it was the little girl that had the best lines including, “Do you want me to put highlights in your hair?” “I’m starting to smell like you” and “Quit flirting with me old man, I’m eleven. Geez that’s creepy.” And let’s not forget about her requesting Nick Lachey for Logan and the scene in the elevators. Why are all the Veronica Mars scenes set in elevators instant classics? I’m really hoping that Dick’s divorce doesn’t go too smoothly and is a future mystery of the week as you remember when Dick asked Logan if he knew any good lawyer, he responded he knew a lawyer, which presumably would be Cliff, which would the divorce proceeding even more entertaining.
Yesterday was Valentines Day, or as some of us called it, Wednesday. And here is a lyrics quiz for those of you that didn’t do any celebrating yesterday. And let’s face it; the anti-love songs are much more entertaining than the lovey dovey ones anyways. So here are my favorite songs to put on when ever I’ve been wronged. No pansy Nick Lachey songs here folks, just pure vengeance ones (but in a moment of weakness I did dedicate What's Left of Me to an ex on the radio yesterday). As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most correct lyrics will be added to the Winner’s list on my sidebar. Oh and a bonus point for the title of this quiz. Now on to the lyrics:
1. Give me my money back you (expletive deleted). I want my money back and don’t forget to give me back my black t-shirt. (Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five; guessed by Dara)
2. She was low down and trifling and she was cold and mean. Kind of evil make me want to grab my sub machine. (Delia's Gone - Johnny Cash; guessed by Kristi)
3. How can I put it, you put me on. I even fell for that stupid love song. (Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Dara)
4. It turns out he was a missing person that nobody missed at all. (Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks; guessed by Dara)
5. I’m going down to shoot my old lady; you know caught her messing ‘round with another man, and that ain’t too cool. (Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix Experience; guessed by Kristi)
6. You didn’t know all the ways I loved you. So you took a chance, made other plan. I bet you didn’t think they would come crashing down. No. (Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake; guessed by Dara)
7. You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can’t win. (Love Stinks - J. Geils Band; guessed by Kristi)
8. Packing up, shacking up is all you want to do. If I could maybe I’d give you my world, open up everything is waiting for you. (Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac; guessed by Dara)
9. Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I’d crumble; did you think I’d break down and cry? (I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor; guessed by Dara)
10. Maybe I should rob somebody so we could live like Whitney and Bobby. (Used To Love U - John legend; guessed by Ashley)
11. Carved my name into his leather seats. Took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights. (Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood; guessed by Angie)
12. I gave all my money and my time. I know it's a shame but I'm giving you back your name. Guess I'll be on my way. I won't be back to stay. (Sail On - The Commodores; guesed by Kristi)
13. I got all your love letter I through them all away. I hear you think that I’m crazy. I’m driving 95 and I’m driving you away. I shine a little more lately. (In the Rough - Anna Nalick; guessed by Jules)
14. So go ahead and get gone. Call up that chick and see if she’s home. Oops. I bet you though that I didn’t know. What do you think I was putting you out for? (Irreplaceable - Beyoncé; guessed by Arielle)
15. You don’t really want anymore from me to make things right you need someone to hold you tight. And you think love is to pray but I’m sorry I don’t pray that way. (Tainted Love - Soft Cell; guessed by Dara)
16. Whenever you see me you say that you want me back. And I tell you that it don’t mean jack. (Smile - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
17. Broken heart again, another lesson learned. Better know your friends or else you will get burned. Got to count on me cause I can guarantee that I’ll be fine. (No More Drama - Mary J. Blige; guessed by Monique)
18. I wonder how I bought all the lies. You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time. (Leave (Get Out) - JoJo; guessed by Angie)
19. You didn't know what Rock-n-Roll was until you met my drummer on a grey tour bus. (Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Great White; guessed by Dara)
20. You burn (expletive deleted), I heard the story. You played me; you even gave him (expletive deleted). Now you’re asking for me back, you’re just another hack. Look elsewhere cause you’re done with me. ((Expletive Deleted) It (I Don't Want You Back) - Eamon; guessed by Arielle)
21. I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champagne, I toasted you, said, “Honey we may be threw but you’ll never hear me complain.” (Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks; guessed by Dara)
22. You’ve got your dumb friends. I know what they say, they tell you I’m difficult but so are they. But they don’t know me, do they even know you? (My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne; guessed by Dara)
23. I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue. (One More Minute - "Weird Al" Yankovic)
24. And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time. (Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch; guessed by Dara)
25. You're a loaded gun. There's nowhere to run. No one can save me the damage is done. (You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi; guessed by Dara)
Bonus. Seems I'm not alone at being alone. (Message in a Bottle - The Police; guessed by Dara)
Never, under any circumstance, shovel snow on Valentines Day or any day where Sting-type length of dirty, dirty sex sessions. And if must shovel snow for some reason on days like Valentines Day, definitely don’t volunteer to shovel your neighbor’s driveway even if they have been ordered not to do any manual labor and wouldn’t be able to leave the house if you weren’t nice enough to shovel his driveway. Don’t do it, there is important baby making duties to do on Valentines Day (even if babies aren’t the result you are looking for). Unfortunately I didn’t take my own advice and spend four hour today shoveling snow and am now almost too tired to watch the Beauty and the Geek Finale.
And for those of you south of the Mason-Dixon Line or west of the Rockies who are asking themselves, “What is this snow that Scooter is talking about?” I even have a Public Service Announcement for you too: If you need to lose some weight, move to the Snow Belt. I’ve lost ten pounds in the last two days with all the snow we gotten. Of course the most important part in the weight loss is that do not buy a snow blower. You see those lazy neighbors that have snow blowers and were done in ten minutes certainly didn’t even lose a pound over the last 48 hours.
Valentines Day wasn’t a complete waste though as Avril Lavigne was nice enough to send me a Valentines Day card. Okay so when I opened it up she said she doesn’t like my girlfriend (apparently this is the title of her upcoming single off her new album coming out in April). So in the last year I’ve gotten a Valentines Card from Avril Lavigne a Christmas gift from Katharine McPhee and a birthday card from Kristen Bell (to be technical I got a card from Kristen on my birthday). With St. Patrick Day in month, maybe Mandy Moore, who has an album coming out in May, will come out to have a green beer with me. On a side note, is it wrong for someone who is called a music elitist to be way too excited for a new Mandy Moore album?
In complete unrelated television site MeeVee is launching it’s new site tomorrow so be sure to check that out then. Well unless it’s already Thursday when you read this and you can check it out now. I have more information on it but I have a lot of television to sleep through tonight (Friday Night Lights, Beauty and the Geek, Let’s Rob Mick Jagger, Lost), so I may post that later tonight or tomorrow. Also be sure to stop by for Lyrics Quiz dedicated to all of you that didn’t celebrate a holiday today.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Do we really need a nine minute epic from Justin Timberlake? Probably not. But at least when he did, he went all out leading to the highest of high comedy (well the unintentional kind). The hallway scene could be the funniest scene in a video that isn’t meant to be since Pat Benatar confronted her pimp in Love is a Battlefield (see on YouTube). And why does JT chase after she storms out when he catches her cheating? Why doesn’t he do what normal people do when they catch a boy/girlfriend cheating, go home and listen to Cry Me a River on repeat?
I’m not sure how filming a video in Japan falls into The Killers recent Spaghetti Western look that they have been sporting for this album, but their look against a Japanese backdrop may be the least odd thing about the video filled with a Japanese Elvis and the hint of dude on puppet love.
We Americans may just be discovering the greatness of Lily Allen, but most of the rest of the world are already on her fourth single, the ode to her lazy brother, Alfie. As a little brother myself I probably should like the song and video, but how can you resist the best puppet porn since the creators of South Park last made a movie?
Here’s one for all of you celebrating Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I know John Legend will get plenty of play around the McGavin household. Although there won’t be any PDA in the park because it seems we have gotten about a foot a snow per hour here today. And for everyone who will refer tomorrow as just Wednesday, I have a Lyrics Quiz just for you coming Thursday so be sure to check back then.
The Grammy’s are always the best award shows of the year, but going into this year’s event you had a sense that the show would be an off year considering that 2006 wasn’t the best year for music in recent year. I first realized this as every year I make a mix tape for my sister of the best songs of the year for Christmas but this past year but only came up with about forty-five minutes of music. I ended up filling the rest of the album with seven different versions of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy. In the end this year’s Grammy’s were solid but were missing a big water cooler event. In fact the only unannounced performers were Earth, Wind & Fire jumping on stage with Ludacris. The show may have been better off not announcing The Police reunion instead tease something big. But anyways. Her are some more thoughts on the big show:
- The big show starts off with the much hyped reunion of The Police performing their very first hit Roxanne. If I had a complaint it would be they only performed one song. Well, at least Quincy Jones’ daughter didn’t jump on stage to sing Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.
- No host this year, but Jamie Foxx takes it upon himself to do a short monologue anyways that includes a funny Snoop Dogg left because he heard The Police were there joke.
- Natalie Maines defiantly looks better as a brunette. Although the darker hair didn’t help her fashion sense as the ruffles on her dress was a bad idea.
- Wow, two Prince sightings in as many weeks. And only he could have save the bland Beyoncé performance. Should have gone with Irreplaceable and put Prince to wok with his phallic guitar instead B.
- If there were a Jump the Shark equivalent in music it would letting the chick from Kids Incorporated in the The Black Eyed Peas. Need to come up with a catchy name though.
- It is nice to know that anyone with a record contract, a hand held camera, and a YouTube account can win a Grammy as OK Go takes home the Best Short Form Video Award.
- Can anyone explain to me why Justin Timberlake needs three piano players on stage with him when he is playing one too? But I like how he tried to convince everyone that the song What Goes Around... was written in voice of a friend of his. What I didn’t need though was the extreme close up during the Interlude part of the song.
- In the biggest shock of the night, in awards handed out earlier, "Weird Al" Yankovic didn’t win Best Comedy Album. I demand a recount.
- I wasn’t quite sold on it when I first heard it, but after sleeping on it, I appreciate the collaboration between Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend (whose Coming Home stole the segment) and John Mayer much more. Although I am now convinced Mayer is purposely making the Joe Cocker faces during his guitar solos, not coming naturally. And after hearing his acceptance speech for Best Pop Album I’m also convinced that his IQ is dropping fast since hooking up with Jessica Simpson.
- Who invited the chick from The Pussycat Dolls? (Fun fact, the only chick that sings in that group was also in the reality made group, Eden's Crush, um not that I remember them either.)
- Yeah Shakira basically did the same performance as the one she did at the VMA’s this past year except instead of Indian garb her and her dancers wore golden breast plates for some reason. They also edited something out of Wyclef’s rap which to me sounded like he was trying to say, “I move the crowd like I’m Obama.” A network censoring someone shouting out Barack Obama, what is this Fox?
- Leave it up to the liberal commies of the music industry to give the Song of the Year to the anti Bush Not Ready to Make Nice over the pro-God Carrie Underwood. Fascists. And was that the dude from Semisonic up accepting the award with the Dixie Chicks?
- Wow, CBS held out its blatant product placement until the second hour with the chicks from How I Met Your Mother out to present Gnarls Barkley. The costumes were a little bit of a letdown as I’ve already seen the airport theme, but they by far had the best performance of the night.
- In categories handed out earlier, Ludicris takes home Best Rap Song for Money Maker with lines like, “It took yo momma nine months to make ya, so ya better shake what yo momma gave ya.” Did someone forget to tell the voters that this was a songwriting award? Luda then picks up the Grammy for Best Rap Album and gives the best shout out of the night that wasn’t censored thanking Oprah and Bill O’Reilly.
- Your random presenters of the night are Mandy Moore, Luke Wilson and LeAnn Rimes as they give the Best Country Album to the Dixie Chick who quote Nelson from the Simpsons. Classy.
- It would be too easy to mention that naturally all Carrie Underwood did was last night was sing karaoke. But I swear her drummer is the black writer for Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip. She then walks away with the Best New Artist award. Be sure to say hello to the Starland Vocal Band on your way to obscurity.
- In categories handed out earlier, My Humps won a Grammy. Also winning a Grammy this year: Ike Turner. Feel free to discuss amongst yourself which is more disturbing.
- Samuel L. Jackson comes out and says his favorite words are “Rhythm and Blues.” C’mon Sam everyone knows one of your favorite words is “Mother.” If you are unsure of the other word check out my review of Snakes on a Plane.
- During the R&B section, Smokey Robinson comes out and sings one of my favorite songs of all time, The Tracks of My Tears. Then Lionel Richie sings one of my favorite songs of the eighties, Hello. Then some dude named Chris Brown comes out and proves Rolling Stone’s assertion that he’s a better dancer than he is singer. Then in the most inexplicable moment of the night Christina Aguilera finally completes her transition into a drag queen by singing It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World.
- Token Old Dude alert. Well at least he didn’t spend his time whining about illegal downloading like Michael Greene always did.
- Your random transition of the night goes to the Ludacris with Mary J. Blige and Earth, Wind and Fire morphing into James Blunt.
- They spent way too much hyping that lame Grammy Moment contest. If I wanted to hear mediocre singers singing other people’s crappy songs I’d watch America Karaoke.
- For those keeping track at home, Justin Timberlake and Carrie Underwood both got to sing three songs, The Police: one.
- In the second biggest upset of the night, Not Ready to Make Nice beats out Crazy for Record of the Year. I really need someone to explain what exactly what is it about NRtMN that makes it better than Crazy. And was I just not paying attention, did CBS do some crafty editing to not promote a show not on their network, or did the dude from Heroes show up late because I didn’t notice him up to this point.
- The break announcer said the Red Hot Chili Peppers were going to have the performance that everyone will be taking about today. Um, what exactly should I be talking about, that it snowed, a trick they pulled at the VMA’s circa the Dave Navarro era?
- I had to chuckle at Al Gore when he talked about environment friendly the music industry is considering the stage was just covered in fake snow which I doubt is too good for the environment.
- Scarlett Johansson is recording an album. But how bad can it be when people like Lindsay Lohan and Jennifer Lopez have set the bar so low for actresses turned singers? She and Don Henley are out to give the Dixie Chicks a complete sweep for the night adding Album of the Year to names. Yeah they made a good album, but I wonder if people voted for them more because of their anti-Bush statements then the music itself.
Quote of the Week: You checked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora. I think the scariest part of this whole thing is the fact that you’re a Bon Jovi fan. (Dean, Supernatural)
Song of the Week: The Indian version of Cats in the Cradle (Knights of Prosperity)
Big News of the Week: One of the most critically acclaimed shows of the season, Friday Night Lights made its way to iTunes this week where you can download all of the episodes of the show. For those still wavering on giving the show a chance, you can download the Pilot episode for free.
Super Bowl: Checkout out Super Bowl Shuffle 2007 where you can see that I was the only one who actually liked the Snickers commercial. But the only thing I find funnier than the ad itself is that those Communist Liberals hated it because they thought it promoted homophobia whereas the Bible-Thumping Conservatives hated it because they though it promoted the gay agenda.
Heroes: Yawn, it was way too easy to predict that Nathan would be Claire’s father. They should have gone with the more shocking route with it being the mysterious Linderman or even the cop, but then again, there is probably why they have a show and don’t so we will see how this turns out. I wonder if there is any coincidence that most of the heroes are related to other heroes, could the mutated hero gene be some sort of sexually transmitted disease? Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: If there is one complaint I have about the show it is sometimes the storylines go on too long. Almost every episode is a two or three part-ers like the last three were. As much as I loved Chandler bidding on Harriett, Snakes on the Set, and the Tom and Lucy debacle (which ended way too nicely) I was ready to move on early in this episode. But I loved how that Macow knew English all along, that surely comes in handy. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The (White) Rapper Show: Holy Bushwick Bill sighting! Mind Playing Tricks on Me is one of the greatest rap songs of all time and a Halloween won’t go by without me thinking of Bill’s verse. It was also great when Serch called out Sullie out for that whole snitching crap. The whole anti-snitching campaign is one of the dumbest aspect of rap and when they have you on film it really can’t be considering snitching because they already know everything. Moron.
Friday Night Lights: Really there is nothing much to say but Landry was the Powerpuff Football referee. If there are outtakes or an extended scene of this on the DVD, I will buy it the day it comes out. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Lets Rob Mick Jagger: The two Cats in the Cradle segments were the funniest scenes on any show this week and I’m laughing again just thinking about them. Not to be outdone, Rockefeller Butts also had an instant classic explaining how he and a white girl ended up with an Indian baby going with the Intelligent Design excuse. Fracking brilliant. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
My Name Is Earl: As great as the nerd from Road Trip was as the white version of Crabman, they could have taken it further. But I content with the meeting between Mr. Turtle and Mr. Bearded Dragon. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The Office: I’m just going to come out and say it, I am rooting for Roy.
Promo of the Week: Look, a Veronica Mars promo that doesn’t have anything to do with the Logan and Veronica relationship. Of the twelve promos this year I think eight of them hinted at the two breaking up so it is refreshing to see one that doesn’t and this is one of the few promos this year that has actually got me excited for the episode. Also getting me excited for this week’s episode, my sources tell me we may actually have a Wallace sighting. Below the promo, for all you spoiler lovers, check out the director’s cut for a scene from the upcoming episode with a shocking reveal from Dick:
Pick of the Week: Beauty of the Geek, Wednesday 8:00, The CW: Yeah this season was a bit of a let down with the two least deserving beauties making it to the end but the tease that the final showdown will be something unexpected has me intrigued and C.C. doesn’t looked too happy about it. As for the surprise, I’m guessing the ousted teams get to choose the questions. As for the winners, I’m going with my original choice, Scooter (naturally) and Megan. You can catch up on the latest episodes over at CWTV.com.
Much has been made about the power of the internet in terms of marketing but the medium seems to cut down the people that they just built up. Howard Dean used to internet to became the front runner for the Democratic nominee until his scream became one of the first hit videos on YouTube. Recently Rolling Stone featured an article on how bloggers quickly turned on bands they just called the next big things like the Arctic Moneys and Cold War Kids. No one had a bigger build up or bigger fall than the movie Snakes on a Plane.
The internets went into full buzz mode when word broke on Aintitcool.com that New Line was putting into production a film with the working title Snakes on a Plane with Samuel L. Jackson as the lead. Websites popped up, tribute movies were uploaded to YouTube, New Line even went back and re-shot some scenes to include the infamous Jackson line after it appeared in a online comic book a fan made, and the movie may have become the very first cult to be one before it was actually released. Then the reviews started to come in and the general public turned on the movie which had a disappointing opening weekend.
The movie follows Jackson as an FBI agent who is in charge of transporting a witness to a murder from Hawaii to testify against the gangster who did it in Los Angeles. Needless to say the gangster doesn’t want the dude to testify so he had hundred of poisonous snakes released on the plane. Being a commercial flight, the plane onto which the snakes are released is full of your token stereotypes filled with C-Listers who you most likely would recognize even though you wouldn’t recognize their actual name. The only other name besides Jackson one would know is Julianna Margulies, who after this must really regret leaving ER, as a stewardess who just so happens to be on her last flight as she just passed the bar and is leaving to become a lawyer.
The rest of the cast is filled out by the chick from Clueless (the show not the movie) as the socialite complete with miniature dog, the dude from Homeboys in Outer Space as the rapper who happens to a germaphobe. One of his bodyguards is video game obsessed and played by the current token black dude for Saturday Night Live. The token hot chick from The New Guy is your flirty stewardess while Todd Packer from The Office is your horny pilot. On the ground, the dude from High Fidelity not named John Cusack or Jack Black is the snake expert who races to find anti-venom to treat the survivor when, or if, they reach LA. And poor Tim Riggins, he was the first to go, but at least he did so while joining the Mile High Club.
And of course with that as your movie, the bad reviews came pouring in which I never understood. What were all those people expecting, the Citizen Kane of disaster movies? The movie is called Snakes on a Plane, you should know from the title if you are going to like it or not. But for those of us who sat back and took the movie for what it was thoroughly enjoyable. In fact, I’m not sure if it was the intent, but Snakes on a Plane was one of the funniest movies in recent memories thanks in part to one of the most improbable ending of all time. Now is it too early to get some early buzz on the hopeful sequel, Snakes on a Boat, Snakes on a Train, and/or Snakes on a Spaceship?
Back for its fourteenth go around, Survivor remains a water cooler event even if people around the water cooler spend more time talking about how the show isn’t as good as past seasons. Even last season’s much hyped Race Wars theme lost some of allure after breaking up the racial groups two episodes in. For this season, set in Fiji, even though the cast isn’t divided up by race again this season it remains just as diverse as the last. The biggest surprise this season is the show is taking a page out of the Flavor of Love playbook with ridiculous nicknames including Dreamz (yes with a “Z”), Boo, Rocky, Mookie, and Yau Man (actually the last two may actually be their real names.
Okay, maybe the whole one team lives in the lap of luxury while the other has to get by with nothing may be the bigger surprise had the exact same thing was the exact same twist on executive producers other realty show, The Apprentice this season. I wonder if tribe will switch camps depending on who wins the reward challenge or if each tribe is stuck like this until a merge. Another twist in the game this season is that there are not one, but two hidden immunity idols. Maybe with more of them this season, one will actually get played unlike the last two.
As mentioned in the intro, despite people still tuning in, the show has lost its luster and I think I may have pinpointed the reason. As with most reality shows, Survivor lives and dies with its casting, but two things have happened with the show in recent years that combined hurt the show. Even though Survivor does a great job of casting as there is usually a villain and someone to cheer for in every season, but in recent years they have added way too many people with the last couple seasons having twenty constants instead of sixteen like the early years (only nineteen this season as one dropped out just hours before shooting). Couple that with the show no longer having extended premieres like they used to going ninety to two hours before voting anyone off making it harder for us to meet the new cast thus it takes longer for personalities to emerge. And while on the subject of casting, the show did a horrible recruiting any token hot chicks this season. Add to that one of the few serviceable girls were voted off first.
But anyways, here are some predictions
Most Interesting Day Job: Expert Witness Locator Will be Most Loved: Yau-Man Chan Will be Most Hated: Andria "Dreamz" Herd Most Likely to Quit: Well the chick that already did Most Likely to Hook Up: Mookie Lee and Stacy Kimball Most Likely to be Stuck on Exile Island the Most: James "Rocky" Reid Girl whom I still have dirty, dirty sex with even if she hadn’t showered for a month: Michelle Yi Next to be voted off: Gary Stritesky Winner: Earl Hickey Cole
Verdict: Much like a crack addict, I just can’t stop. Stream the latest episodes of Survivor: Fiji over at Innertube or download them on iTunes.
![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my 
![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my 
- John legend; guessed by Ashley)
as the lead. Websites popped up, tribute movies were uploaded to YouTube, New Line even went back and re-shot some scenes to include the infamous Jackson line after it appeared in a online comic book a fan made, and the movie may have become the very first cult to be one before it was actually released. Then the reviews started to come in and the general public turned on the movie which had a disappointing opening weekend.![Terror Alert Level: Severe [RED]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidjcsCV5I3jWQDVTcnVoXbArSx3kHl02FZ8FkOHBBKP2w8mQulcCF614SIw1GjuB2JtKV2YcQOKXtMlnW2ulLSOvYvvXzDwZ3JF4Mlh0Dt2nfEL1oGLh0sk7O-GRHWbCPvJmMMKg/s400/small_severe.png)
on my 
