Previewing Last Resort

Last year it seemed like every time I wrote about a new show I was always saying, it is a good idea for a movie, but I do not see how it works on the small screen. That trend continued this season which includes Nashville which looks like it is basically just Country Strong but on television (they even managed to find an actress as bad as Leighton Meester to play her role). But of all the shows in recent years where you have to wonder why they did not just make a movie instead, Last Resort is on the top of the list. Yet the first hour of Last Resort is so good, if it were a movie it would be one of the top five best movies I have seen this year.

The show focuses on the crew of a nuclear submarine who refuses to bomb Pakistan when a questionable order comes in through a secondary command instead of the primary issue. The sub is then bombed and the survivors set up camp at a NATO outpost in the middle of the Indian Ocean. To keep any more attacks on them from happening, the captain of the sub declares a two hundred mile safe zone around the island and will use one of the fourteen warheads on ship if anyone breaches the perimeter, including their own country.

Even though it may have been better as a movie, the show does set up plenty of plotlines that’s could last a season. The show starts off with the sub picking up some navy seals who’s latest mission may have tied into the Pakistan attack (okay, that is pretty much a given). The NATO outpost seems to be run by a warlord who does not look like is going to give up his power to a bunch of Americans that easily. Plus there is plenty of political intrigue back stateside with family member dealing with their loved ones going rouge including one of the admirals whose daughter was on the submarine.

There are also a couple names attached that gives me hope that the show will continue to be good after the first episode. First up it was created by Shawn Ryan who created the show who has previously brought us the criminally under-watched Terriers. While the cast is headlined by Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age) as the captain of the sub who gives one epic speech to the world near the end of the episode. Then there is the always reliable Robert Patrick (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) who looks like he will be butting heads with Braugher early and often. Sure Autumn Reeser (The Big Bang) as a military tech specialist may be the biggest stretch on screen since Denise Richards played a nuclear physicist, but she delivers some boring but important exposition while undressing which may be one of the smartest written scenes ever.

Last Resort may be one of the few shows that Democrats and Republicans can watch (aside from, surprisingly enough, Modern Family that both presidential candidates and their wives enjoy despite the inclusion of gay homosexuals). The tree hugging hippies will be happy that the ship refuses to bomb a sovereign nation without cause while the neo-cons will find enjoyment that Pakistan gets bombed anyway. And the impeached president is vague either side can live vicariously though television that Barack Obama or George Bush type president is being impeached. Really anyone who has been waiting for the next 24 (but is too cheap to subscribe to Showtime to watch the excellent Homeland) should definitely check out Last Resort.

Last Resort airs Thursdays at 8:00 on ABC. But who cares what I think, you can already watch the first episode on Hulu (even watch it below), download Last Resort on iTunes for free, or stream / download it basically anywhere on the internet that you can think of.

I Want My Music Television - 9/24/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Pyramids – Frank Ocean (Warning NS4W)


You would think after such a weird Saturday Night Live performance Frank Ocean would let his John Mayer and video games assisted visuals sit for awhile. Instead he promptly released a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas style video for his eight-minute epic RnB synth ballad. I am starting to think that Frank Ocean is on some Prince level ish right now.


Cherokee – Cat Power


I recently read that Cat Power dipped into her retirement to fund her latest album and music video. Cat: there is this thing now called Kickstarter where fans will pay for that stuff. Seriously think about using it so we do not have to wait another six years for another heartbreakingly beautiful album, or weirdly awesome music video. I may even chip in a dollar or two.


Parking Lot – Nelly Furtado


Remember when Nelly Furtado first came out like the pixie folkster with I’m Like a Bird? What the frack happened? This song is just not good. But still better than that horrendous Big Hoops song. At least the visuals are cool.


Flowers - Ducky & The Vintage


When Daniel Rosa showed up again on the season of The Voice I thought to myself, it is cool they are letting rejects re-audition, but what the heck happened to Ducky? Apparently Ducky got himself a band, a record contract and music video. But it is weird that he got rid of his mustache and gave it to the magician.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/23/12

Leverage: It was highly entertaining a couple seasons ago when they split the two genders into two separate, but interchanging episodes. I thought that was what we were getting this time around with Hardison, Elliot, and Parker split from Nate, Sophie, and Sterling. Unfortunately the two storylines never crossed with each other aside from a phone call. Even more disappointing was Adam Baldwin who I wanted something more interesting for after the teaser at the beginning of the season.
You can download Leverage on iTunes.

The Voice: I really do not like the overabundance of teenagers this season (at least 15 of the singers that have tried out cannot legally buy beer). What’s worse is that none of them are even that good. I would be surprised if any of them aside from Avery Wilson make it to the live shows. Actually the talent level as a whole is way down this season and you have to wonder if the quick turnaround was a good idea. I am really disappointed in the lack of professional talent this time around, 61 Blind Auditions already and I have not recognized anyone yet. Including Cupid, who was apparently a one hit wonder who did not want to be known as a one hit wonder yet still auditioned with his one “hit.” (Ironically the two most “famous” this season, Cupid and the boy bander who supposable sold a million records, did not get picked.) And really I have not seen anyone worth rooting for this season except De’borah who I fear her chances of longevity on the show. Well she and Devyn DeLoera, but I will be rooting for Devyn for very different reason. On the bright side, they toned down the sob stories. The only one that sticks out of my head this week was the dude who’s parents dies ion quick succession as a child and the chick born prematurely (but was saved by music!).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.


Parenthood: I really hope Kristina is having false alarm because I am not sure I can sit through an entire season of her going through cancer treatments, just way too heartbreaking. Seriously, that cast such a showdown over the episode I cannot even remember what happened before it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Wedding: Sons of Anarchy style. Seriously, has there been a wedding on television with less hype and hoopla
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: Holy Trishelle sighting! I totally was not expecting to see her back on The Challenge this time around. I am disappointed the internets did not give more of a day’s notice that she was going to show up. Unfortunately she was relegated to the background for her triumphant return (her first since 2004) which makes me think her time on the show may not be long. At least she got to witness firsthand one of the greatest moments ever in Challenge history when Big E rang the bell with Wes’s head. Good riddance Wes, please stop coming back on the show, you are the only person that can make Kenny empathetic. But I would put Big ringing the bell with Wes’s head number two after the time CT used Johnny Bananas as a backpack before slamming him into a barrel.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 9/22/12

Quote of the Week: Of course he's in pain. Women are conniving soul crushers and if he realizes that,he'll be okay. He has a chance. (Hank, Parenthood)

Song of the Week: The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (Go On)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Mitt Romney Hates 47% of Americans: I asked it before and I will ask it again, I wonder if Mitt Romney actually wants to be president because the guy does not talk about. Last week during the Middle East kerfuffle, Mitt sent out a press release that turned out to be extremely incurrent when all the facts came out. Naturally Mitt doubled down on his stupidity instead of admitting a mistake. The gaffe machine kept going this week when a tap was released talking at a $5000 a plate fundraiser that 47% of the population are dependent on the government who will vote for the president no matter what. Way to right off half the population Mitt. But as it turns out 81% of that 47% have full time jobs. And nine of the top ten states with the most 47%ers are in the Deep South, from South Carolina to Texas (the other being Idaho) which are the most conservative states in the nation with the exception of Florida. So it makes me wonder if Mitt even wants to become president because he is going up against an incumbent that does not deserve to be reelected and will probably still end up losing.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Motocross Champion Ashley Fiolek on Switched at Birth

Free Download of the Week: The Boys’ Club Live EP – Erin McCarley (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Babel - Mumford and Sons

New DVD Release of the Week: Marvel's The Avengers

Video of the Week: You would think Daniel Day Lewis playing Abraham Lincoln would be epic, but I was left after watching the trailer that it needed more scenes with Lincoln slaying vampires.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Neighbors, Wednesday at 9:30 on ABC: It is premiere week and there is no show I am looking forward to this week that is premiering more than The Neighbors (please note I have already seen Last Resort and you too can on Yahoo). The show harkens back to the days when television executives were clearly on copious amounts of cocaine, aka the Gorlden Era of Awesomely Bad Television. The Neighbors features a human family who moves into a neighborhood of aliens and hilarity will ensue (presumably). And if we are lucky, we may even get to see our first male giving birth scene on television since that one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Just remember that The Neighbors is on after Modern Family for one week and moves to 8:30 next week.

Around the Tubes - 9/21/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Treme, The Latino List: Column Two, Ice Road Truckers, American Masters, Iron Man, The Emmys, Drugs Inc., To Catch a Smuggler, Velvet Underground, Liz and Dick, Monday Mornings, Showtime, Kara McGraw, Holliston, the Harlan Globetrotters, and ABC Family.

- Treme returns this Sunday on HBO and for those that need a reminder of what happened last season, below is a recap:


- The latest documentary from HBO is premiering this Monday at 9:00. The Latino List: Volume Two features video portraits of a cross-section of Latino notables who have richly contributed to the fabric of contemporary society, including Christy Turlington Burns, Victor Cruz, George Lopez, Soledad O’Brien and Raul Yzaguirre, among many others. Check out the trailer below:


- The season premiere of Ice Road Truckers is this Sunday at 10:00 on History and you can check out a preview below:


- American Masters: The Day Carl Sandburg dies premieres nationally Monday at 10:00 on PBS (check your local listings just in time of the 45th anniversary of the Pulitzer Prize wuinner’s death. The fild will be available on DVD the next day.


- Also new to the DVD shelves next Tuesday is Iron Man: Armored Adventures Season 2 – Volume 2.

- The Emmys are this weekend and to get you ready watch the video below where Parker Posey plays an over the top acting coach who only teaches how to give an Emmy acceptance speech.


- Look out for a new season of the National Geographic Channel’s Drugs, Inc. premiering Sunday October 21 at 9:00. But before that on October 8 at 9:00, check out new series To Catch a Smuggler where you will go behind the X-ray scanners and security doors at JFK with officers of U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and special agents with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

- The Velvet Underground and Nico is turning 45 this year and to commemorate Universal Music Enterprises will be releasing a Super Deluxe version of the album on October 30 with six CDs featuring 30 previously unreleased tracks, including a previously unavailable November ’66 live concert performed by the Velvets’ original, five-person lineup—Lou Reed, John Cale, Sterling Morrison, Moe Tucker and Nico—at the Valleydale Ballroom in Columbus, Ohio, and Nico’s Chelsea Girl, an album released in October 1967 (seven months after the Velvets’ disc) which included all the members of the band as well as a teenage folksinger named Jackson Browne. The box set also includes an 88-page booklet featuring a new essay by band biographer Richie Unterberger.


- Lindsay Lohan created some headlines by being cast as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime Movie Liz and Dick which is set to premiere in November and now you can take a look at the first key art with a look with Lohan in the role.



- Production is now under way for TNT's Monday Mornings, a powerful new series from award-winning producer David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal, Chicago Hope) and practicing neurosurgeon and CNN chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta, on whose book the series is based. The medical drama stars Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction), Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2, TNT's The Company), Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica), Jennifer Finnigan (Better with You), Bill Irwin (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation), Keong Sim (Glee), Sarayu Rao (Lions for Lambs) and Emily Swallow (TNT's Southland). TNT has ordered 10 episodes for the first season of Monday Mornings, which is slated to premiere in early 2013.

- If you have not picked up a 2013 calendar yet, you may want to so you can mark down that Shameless, House of Lies, and Californication will be starting up their new seasons starting January 13 on Showtime.

- Kara McGraw is releasing her new album The Hound and the Hare next week which will raise funds for thirteen charities over thirteen weeks.

- Expect a lot of stammering when Caite Upton (the former Miss Teen USA contestant) willmake a guest appearance on FEARnet’s Holliston. Look for the episode when the new season airs next spring.

- The Harlem Globetrotters have announced their 2013 Rookie class including two females (the 10th and 11th female to ever make the team since 1926). They will be embarking on a world tour with over 270 games this season, which is kicking off at brand new Barclays Center in Brooklyn on October 7th.

- ABC Family is bolstering its orginal programming by greenlighting three new pilots. Terminales is a one-hour drama based on a successful Mexican television format by Miguel Angel Fox and follows a young woman’s life after she is diagnosed with a terminal illness. The pilot was written by Susanna Fogel and Joni Lefkowitz. Aaron Kaplan (“GCB,” “The Neighbors,” “Terra Nova”), Fogel and Lefkowitz will serve as executive producers. It will be produced by Lionsgate in association with Televisa. Phys Ed is a half-hour multi-camera comedy series about a high school’s star jock who returns to teach at his former alma mater only to find that, even though he’s changed, nothing else really has. The pilot is written and-executive produced by David H. Steinberg (“American Pie 2”). It is produced by Prodco, Inc. Continuing Fred is a half-hour multi-camera comedy about 20-something Winifred “Fred” Harris, a newly-graduated slacker with an overbearing family who surprisingly finds purpose when she begins to teach at a local elementary school. Written by Bill Daly (“Mike and Molly”), the pilot is produced by Prodco, Inc.

First Impressions: Survivor: Philippines

I never liked the concept of Redemption Island. Why does Boston Rob need redemption? Russell Hantz? Coach, Ozzy? None of them needed redemption other than being douchebags . I always thought if you are going to bring someone back for redemption either have it be someone that did something colossally stupid (like the dude who gave away immunity and was promptly voted out) or someone who was medically removed from the game. Well Survivor did the latter for its Philippines season bring back three contestants that were had to leave the game prematurely.

Thankfully none of the returning cast mates turned out to be Colton Cumbie, the gay homosexual racist Republican from last season whose appendix was about to burst. Instead, the first, and probably most (in)famous casualty Michael Skupin, who fell into the fire during the second season, swinging the season, is back a decade later. Also returning is Russell Swan, surprisingly because dude almost died the first time around with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. His exit also swayed power his season and was yet another absurdly lucky play that benefitted Hantz during his two seasons. Lastly is Jonathan Penner, who got a life threatening infection during his second time playing the game.

Those are not the only familiar faces in the Philippines as they brought in not one, but two celebrities that rival Jimmy Johnson as the most famous contestants ever. This includes fellow sportsman Jeff Kent, perennial All-Star baseball player for the Giants and Astros who just retired four years ago. Also joining him on the island is Lisa Whelchel who may better be known as Blair Warner of The Facts of Life. Unfortunately for next week’s preview, she may not be around long enough for Tootie to join her for the friends and family challenge.

It was apropos that they brought back three wounded survivors this season because there were already some injuries in the first three days. Right off the boat Jeff, who was injury prone during his major league career, tweaked his knee right off the boat. And we may have found out just how Michael feel into the fire after getting cuts on his head, hand and foot.

But the first episode belonged to Zane Knight who was quick to create an alliance with every single person on his tribe, and then told people he had alliances with everyone else. Then after putting up a pitiful performance in the immunity challenge, he stupidly offered himself up to be voted out. But here is the rub, Zane actually thought by putting himself on the chopping block he could Jedi Mind Trick people into voting for Russell. The force certainly was not with Zane who was prompted voted out which means I am going to have to update my list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list.

Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Take a Shower in a Month: Angie Layton

Winner: Roberta “R.C.” Saint-Amour

Back Up Choice: Michael Skupin

Survivor: Philippines airs Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream episodes on CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

You Can't Escape the Rising of the Tide

I have a love / hate relationship with The Killers. I loved the synth-dance-rock of their debut Hot Fuss. I hated their overblown arena rock follow up Sam’s Town. By the time their third album came out, I learned how to stop worrying and learned to accept the pomposity of Brandon Flowers continuing attempt to be the new generation Bruce Springsteen (circa Born to Run) and his continuance of falling short of such goals.

From the opening blips of the opening track Flesh and Bones it sounded like they may be going back to their older sound, but alas, even though there seems to be more synthesizers on Battle Born, the band’s fourth album, it seems like they are quickly covered up and drowned out by a wall of guitar sounds. The band does lay off their Springsteen ambitions aside from the lead single Runaways which sound like their last chance power drive, but still comes up short compared with their other Springsteenian attempts like When We Were Young.

Unfortunately Runaways is the best the album has to offer. Really the only reason to listen to the rest of Battle Born is to hear just how pompous Brandon Flowers can get like when he “swears on the head of our unborn child” or, “I drove through the desert last night, I carried the weight of our last fight.” C’mon Brandon, it cannot be that hard carrying weight while you are driving. Unless, of course, you were driving a smart car. And I could not help but laugh at the way he delivers the line, “Don’t want your picture on my cell phone” on Here with Me. So I think I am back off The Killer bandwagon. But I will surely be back on in two years.

Song to Download - Runaways

Battle Born gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You Might Put Your Love and Trust on the Line

Ben Foldes Five!

Fraggle Rock!!

Stacey Pilgrim!!!

The dude from Singled Out!!!!

The dude from Hot Tube Time Machine!!!!!

This is so awesome I do not even care if Weezer (who ironically wrote a song about Fraggle Rock (at least I want to believe the Doozers in My Name Is Jonas is a Fraggle Rock reference)) did the same video with The Muppets a decade ago. If there was a complaint to be had it is the lack of Marjory the Trash Heap.

I Want My Music Television - 9/17/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

I Will Wait – Mumford and Sons


One more week until the new Mumford and Sons album drops and after watching their live performance from Red Rocks I cannot wait, but alas I will wait (unless someone is nice enough to stream the album early). But after watching the video it is weird to think that who may very well be the biggest band in the country has foe a drummer, the lead singer’s right foot.


Live and Die - The Avett Brothers


Yep it is a good month for folk music between Mumford and Sons and The Avett Brothers who look to be having a lot of fun during their music video. It has to being a smile to your own face. And the American flag awning looks very cool.


Kill the DJ – Green Day


That is two music videos from Green Day from their new album that features a bunch of parting models. I know the album is a three part concept album about pre, post, and during a party, it is still a little weirde seeing the former punk band perform, non-ironically, in what looks to be a roller disco dance party, but without the skates.


The High Road - Joss Stone



Broken Bells went walking through a post-apocalyptic landscape for their video of this song, and Joss Stone went a complete three-sixty by strolling through a magical forest. Complete with an elephant.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/16/12

Quote of the Week: I do not watch dating shows… except Beauty and the Geek. (Parker, Leverage)

Song of the Week: Higher Ground - Franky Perez and the Forest Rangers (Sons of Anarchy)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Arab Spring Take 2: I do not like politicizing death, so I am just going to stay quite like many people should have this week.

Preview Picture of the Week:



The Voice: Who would have guessed that a white kid from Colorado would get chosen by singing a Bob Marley song, but not the chick who was born in Jamaica? But anyway. I was severely disappointed with the first week of The Voice because they have yet to audition anyone that was already on my iPod (unlike seven singers last season). I was not even familiar the boy bander who I am highly suspicious actually sold a million records. The only person I recognized was Daniel Rosa from season two. I am not against bringing back past contestants, but Daniel Rosa (he does gets points for singing Somebody That I Used to Know to a bunch of people who rejected him)? What the heck happened to Ducky (never forget)? Instead of a proper power ranking (I will wait until all the Blind Auditions, but you can get a sneak peak to the right) here is a power ranking of the biggest sob stories which they really ratcheted up for season three. And no, absurdly hot chick who had to be home schooled because she is absurdly hot in a town that cared more about sports did not make the list.

5. Nigerian refugee

4. Dad has a long fight with triple-cancer which he eventfully dies (and does not get any chairs to turn around

3. Broken jaw at the hands of racists

2. Home invasion, kidnapped mom at age 7

1. A lot of sob stories, but hands down, nothing beats having a virus that shuts down your vital organ, put you into cardiac arrest which leads to an induced coma. How lucky though to wake up a day before the Super Bowl (also known as The Voice pre-show)

You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.


Go On: Same as the first episode, I laughed plenty of times (especially when Chandler made his assistant play goalie), but I am not entirely sure why I like the show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Parenthood: I take it Bob lost in the primary and that is why Amber is working at the Luncheonette. Which sadly looks like the hot receptionist is no longer around. Le sigh. Another big cliffhanger that apparently got resolved during the hiatus is that Adam found a way to keep The Luncheonette and send Haddie to Cornell. Le sigh again.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: The last two season of the show really dragged on for me, but the show finally kicked back into high gear with the fifth season premiere. Well that is until Michael from Lost flicked his cigar. That was really something I did not need to see. But if I am not mistake, that was the third person that Tig was responsible for killing thanks to a Clay lie: Opie’s old lady, Michael’s daughter, and his daughter. I have a feeling that Tig is not going to let that go unnoticed. I know I said the exact same thing last season, but Clay is going to die this season, the question is by whose hand.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: The Charmer Sampler – Aimee Mann (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: $5.00 Bob Dylan Albums: In honor of his latest album being released this week, Amazon has a bunch of Bob Dylan albums for only $5.00 including the new album Tempest. You can also grab some of his songs for only $0.50 during the sale.

New Album Release of the Week: Battle Born - The Killers

New DVD Release of the Week: Get A Life: The Complete Series

Video of the Week: Last Resort was number one on my list of most anticipated new shows of the fall season and it did not disappoint (Autumn Reecer playing a weapons contractor notwithstanding). You can see for yourself below because Yahoo is giving early access to the Pilot. After seeing it I am not sure where they go from there (if I was the shadowy figure behind what happens, I would just send a navy seal team to go in discretely an eliminate everyone), but I have a feeling this may not make it to Thanksgivings. But I will surely enjoy all four episodes that air.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Weeds, Sunday (Tonight) at 10:00 on Showtime: I am woefully behind on this season (I am just to the point where Andy starts teaching Jewish classes) but tonight is the series finale of the show with back to back episodes (or a one hour finale depending how you want to look at). For those that need their Andy fix after the finale, you are in luck because his new show Animal Practice premieres next Wednesday. On Yom Kippur (natch)

Lyrics Quiz: Wake Me Up When September Ends

Green Day is releasing an album this month. Actually they are releasing a trio of albums over the next couple months. And since it is September I thought I would put their Wake Me Up When September Ends into iTunes Genius feature and these are the tracks they gave back to me. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section (or e-mail me). If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. So here’s your holiday. Hope you enjoyed it this time. You gave it all away. It was mine. So when you’re dead and gone, will you remember this night? Twenty years now lost.
2. I guess it ain’t easy doing nothing at all. But hey man free rides don’t come along everyday.
3. Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be. There’s a shadow hanging over me.
4. I wish I was like you: easily amused. Find my nest of salt, everything’s my fault.
5. Sit around and watch the phone but no one’s calling. Call me pathetic, call me what you will.
6. It’s all about the exposure, the lens, I told her. The angles are all wrong. Now she’s ripping wings off of butterflies.
7. Don’t forget to call my lawyers with ridiculous demands. And you can take the pity so far. But it’s more than I can stand.
8. I never thought I’d walk away from you. I did. But it’s a false sense of accomplishment.
9. You know the day destroys the night. Night divides the day.
10. I ain’t got a fever, got a permanent disease. And it’ll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy.
11. The lunatic is on the grass. Remembering games, and daisy chains and laughs. Git to keep the loonies on the path.
12. He spends his nights in California watching the stars on the big screen. And then he lies awake and wonders, why can’t that be me?
13. Alone, listless, breakfast table in an otherwise empty room. Young girl, violin(ence) center o her own attention.
14. When I read the letters you wrote me, you made me mad, mad, mad.
15. Don’t know what I’m going do about this feeling inside. Yes it’s true, loneyness toke me for a ride. Without your love, I’m nothing g but a beggar. Without your love: a dog without a bone.
16. You say you stand by your man. Tell me something I don’t understand. You say you loved me and that’s a fact. And then you left me. Said you felt trapped.
17. Where’s it going t get you acting serious? Things are never going to be quite what you want. Even at twenty-five you got to start something.
18. And the northern girls with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriends warm at night.
19. I’m going down shoot my old lady, you know I caught her messing ‘round with another man.
20. Do what I want ‘cause I can and if I don’t because I wanna. Be ignored by the stiff and the bored because I wanna.
21. Here’s a toast to all those that hear me all too well.
22. Somewhere, somehow, somebody must have kicked you around some. Who knows why you wanna lay there and revel in your abandon?
23. Into the flood again, same old trip it was back then. So I made a big mistake. Try to see it once my way.
24. I'd be your lover, if you were there. Put your hurt on me, if you dare. Such a woman, you got style. You make every man feel like a child.
25. Feeling uninspired, think I'll start a fire. Everybody run, Bobby’s got a gun.

Around the Tubes - 9/14/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Homeland, Boardwalk Empire, Hot Seat, Face Off, Pretty Bad Men, Pretty Little Liars, The Revelant, Martha Stewart, Ron White, Cougar Town, Sons of Anarchy, Episodes, Devyn Rose, Troubadour, and Tug of War.

- You still have a couple more weeks until the premiere of the second season of Homeland. For those who cannot wait to learn just how crazy Carrie is this season, you can watch the first 25 minutes of the new season over at sho.com or you may even be able to find it On Demand from your cable provider. Spoiler Alert! It is good.

- New season of Boardwalk Empire premieres this Sunday at 9:00, below is a teaser trailer. If you are in New York today, you can even be transported back to the ’20 with a free ride in a Rolls Royce from the time period. You will need the Uber app to partake in this promotion.


- New show alert! Hot Seat premieres Hot Seat premieres Tuesday at 10:00 on Syfy. Check out a sneak peak below:

Crash Landed Astronaut

- Just prior to the premiere of Hot Seat, filmmaker Kevin Smith will be appearing on the all new episode of Face-Off as a guest judge. The contestants this week will be tasked with creating a superhero and a sidekick duo.

- Pretty Bad Men is not an upcoming drama on ABC (hopefully they do not steal that idea), but a crime documentary series now airing on Investigation Discovery airing Thursdays at 10:00. The show is described as “Survivors of a crime testify to the devastating effects that one man had on their lives. Through interviews, stylized recreations, and archival sources, we meet the victims and those who have lost loved ones to murder. Their first-hand telling of stories launches a relentless investigation to find and convict the criminal. These murderers, rapists, and felons must be brought to justice.”

- The Pretty Little Liars Halloween Special is still over a month away, but you can take a look at the key art from the episode below (okay, it is just a old photo with an orange background).


- New to DVD this week: The Revenant starring David Anders and Chris Wylde.


- Martha Stewart has a new home (no, she is got going back inside), The Martha Stewart Network is launching for the first time online with the premiere of three popular shows From Martha’s Kitchen, Emeril’s Table, and DIY Crafts. You can hear Martha talk about it on Hulu’s blog.

- Fans of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour will want to mark September 25 on their calendar because that is when you can download Ron “Tater Salad” White’s latest comedy special A Little Unprofessional to your connected TV, computer, table, etc. You can head over to RonWhiteSpecial.com now to pre-order and watch a preview.

- Cougar Town may not pop up on TBS until next year, but the cast does not want you to forget about them and have filmed this video:



- Just in time for the season premiere this past week; FX has released a new and improved Sons of Anarchy app.

- There will be a third season for Episodes which Showtime recently renewed.

- Take a listen to and download the new single Pieces from Devyn Rose below:

- Coming the weekend of September 29/30, the second season of Texas Singer-Songwriter Docu-Reality Series Troubadour is set to launch (check your local listings). The show has been trimmed down to a half hour and will include some familiar faces from the first season along with some new singers.

- Want to get in on the realty competition game? They are casting for a new series Tug of War.

Can You Tell That I Am Alive, Let Me Prove it to You

Mumford & Sons gets a lot of the credit for bringing folk-rock back to the mainstream over the last couple years, but it was really The Avett Brothers who laid the groundwork for groups like The Civil Wars and The Lumineers. They were acoustic punks who brought as much energy as those during the alternative rock crazy of the early nineties but were able to it with a banjo, a cello, and an upright bass. Three years ago Rick Rubin was able to harness that energy and produced the best album of the band’s career with I and Love and You.

The Avett Brother reunited with Rubin with the follow-up The Carpenter and the results are the same. Songs range from the sweet (Live and Die), to heartfelt (Winter in My Heart), to a waltz (Down with the Shine), to frantic (Paul Newman vs. the Demons), to a hoedown (Geraldine). None of the songs reach the heights of the best songs on their previous album, but The Carpenter is still pretty solid as a whole.

They even have a rare electric guitar featured song Pretty Girl from Michigan, though it is not rare of them to sing about pretty girls because they have already dedicated a song to girls from Matthews, Raleigh, Locust, Annapolis, Cedar Lane, Feltre, Chili (my personal favorite), and San Diego. But the biggest chance the brothers Avett take is with A Fathers First Spring which flows like none of their songs have flown before. The song teeters on going into soft rock territory, but they manage to keep it closer to their sensibilities making it a stand out on the album.

Song to Download – A Fathers First Spring

The Carpenter gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Don’t Waste Time Trying to Be Something You’re Not

After ten years of putting out a bunch of good, but not great albums, Dave Matthews Band ended the ’00 with their best album in a decade with Big Whiskey and the Groo-Grux King, an album so good, one critic said the album was a Dave Matthews Band album for people who do not like The Dave Matthews Band. After the great previous album, news only got better that Steve Lillywhite, who produced the band’s first three (and the aborted fourth that eventually turned into Busted Stuff without him) is back as producer for the first time in over a decade.

So expectations were high for the release of their eight studio album Away from the World. The only problem is the album turned out to be a bit of a bore. Sure the first single Mercy was a bit sleepy, but the band usually does not release the best song first (or usually at all). But it turned out the whole albums sounded as if the whole band was slipped an Ambient before recording started.

It does not help that one of the songs, Belly Belly Nice, sounds as if it were written by a Dave Matthews Band tribute band trying encapsulate the band’s essence and even throws in a nursery rhyme (Jack and Jill this time around) for good measure which is almost cringeworthy. The songs as a whole are the most unremarkable the band has ever written and is only kept out of the bottom of the band’s catalogue by the time they tried to cram their music into four minute pop songs.

Even though within five years I expect most of the songs from Away From the World will appear on as many setlists as the songs from Everyday, there are a few songs I cannot wait to hear live even if the studio version are uninspiring. Sweet (which does appear in live form, from here in Cleveland, on the Deluxe Edition of the album which finds Matthews at his falsetto best), with its ukulele intro that expands a couple minutes later into the full band, is the most simple song from the band since the haunting piano based Out of My Head. But Sweet has the exact opposite reaction for the listener and lives up to its title.

But it is Drunken Soldier that will be a highlight of many concerts to come and will probably end up being an encore staple. In true Dave Matthews Band fashion, the song is split into four sections, there is the ho-down beginning, which transitions into a more traditional beginning which I can see being stretched into five to ten minutes live which includes a beautiful solo from violist Boyd Tinsley, before transitioning into the most earnest lyrics by Dave on the whole album. The song ends with a segment that sounds like it is floating away on a lazy river in the moonlight. If I do not hear a twenty minute plus version of this song the next time I hear the boys live, I will be severely disappointed.

Song to Download - Drunken Soldier

Away from the World gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Previewing Criminal Defense

Most lawyer shows like to rip plots “from the headlines” but Criminal Defense does not need to do that because those charged on their show are the headlines. The show follows five actual public defenders (better known as the “If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you” attorney) who work in Brooklyn, which sees 80,000 arrests a year. Criminal Defense premieres tonight with back to back episodes at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Unlike the scripted version where the legal lingo can get confusing, Criminal Defense will often explain Pop-Up Video all the legal term that the layman may not understand. You also learn some interesting facts about the legal system like on average it take 415 days from arrest to a verdict is reached (so much for right to a speedy trial which almost always gets waived).

For tonight’s premiere, one of the public defenders is tasked with defending a mother who is accused of stabbing a cab driver while another is accused with beating a neighbor. In the other episode, a simple case becomes more complicated when an outstanding warrant is found while another case involves a murder where the video that was supposed to help, may actually make things worse. These are just a few cases these public defenders are working on in front of the camera of the 80-120 cases they are working on at one time.

Criminal Defense airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions for 2012 Fall Television

Tonight starts the slow rollout of the fall network schedule with the return of The Voice (Go On, Parenthood, and Sons of Anarchy all return tomorrow) so I thought I would share some of the biggest questions going into the fall season of television.

1. Is Carrie Still Cray-Cray? Last season on Homeland, the crazier Carrie got, the more entertaining the show got culminating in the great episode where Carrie went off her meds and created some crazy genius wall collage. Unfortunately like every other crazy person on television last season she elected to have electo-shock therapy. I cannot image she will be sane enough to rejoin the CIA even if everybody learns she was right about Brody all along. Of course this is television so they will probably find away unless she becomes a private contractor for Saul.

2. What Will the Purple Mist Bring to Storybrooke? Okay, the clear answer is that the purple mist we saw in the season finale of Once Upon a Time was magic, so the real question is what that means for the characters? And how do the relationships change now that everybody knows each other’s past? Oh yeah, and Captain Hook better be epic.

3. Will The Governor Be As Awesome as the Comic Book People Say? During the long slog that was the second season of The Walking Dead, all I heard from the comic book people was just wait until they get to The Prison. The Governor, who runs the place, is awesome. And Michonne, who made a cameo in the season finale with her armless and jawless slaves, is also up there in entertainment value. I have come to distrust The Walking Dead writers, so call me skeptical.

4. Will NBC’s Comedy Bet Pay Off? The last two times NBC doubled down on comedy did not really pay off. Two seasons ago they had their three hour comedy block on Thursdays that only lasted about two months. And of course there was the Jay Leno Hour disaster before that. Now they are going to a comedy block every weekday except Mondays (unless you consider Christina Aguilera’s coaching style on The Voice laughable). Surprisingly they ear not even laughing any new comedies during their much vaunted (but lowly watched) two hour Thursday night block. Instead Animal Practice and Guys with Kids are put out on an island to start Wednesdays. Go On and The New Normal do get the cushy post-The Voice slot on Tuesdays (except in Utah where the gay-homosexuals got banned, natch). While returning shows Whitney and Community get sent off to the Friday death slot in what may be the weirdest pairing ever. Will all this funny work out? Of the ten shows on the fall schedule (and four waiting for midseason, including The Office spin-off) I would be surprised if over half make it to Fall 2013. If I were Vegas, I would put the over/under at four, which would mean ten get the ax.

5. Is Beavis and Butt-Head Returning? Seriously, Beavis & Butthead was one of the few reboots that were just as good as the original run (aside from the boys watching crappy television). But after the show ended I have not heard anything about the show since be it renewed or canceled. Yet MTV keep on churning out unfunny live action comedies.


Speaking of the great philosopher Butt-Head who once gave us this gem, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” Here are five questions no one cares enough to have answered.

1. Who Is the Titular Mother? Unless they somehow explain that Victoria was the mother on How I Met Your Mother all along, I still do not care.

2. What Turned Off the Lights on Revolution? Do not care. J.J. Abrams is a hack.

3. Has Haden Panettiere Learned How to Act Yet? A couple weeks ago, someone asked me if I thought that Brody’s wife on Homeland was the worst actress of all-time. I laughed at the assertion, not only is she not the worst of all time, she is not even the worst actress that currently has a job especially considering Hayden is co-headlining Nashville this fall. What is worse is she has to share the screen with one of the greats in Tami Taylor. Hurmph. It is too late to recast her with Julie Taylor?

4. Will Blair from Facts of Life Be Annoyingly Religious? In a word: yes. Why does Survivor always recruit these religious zealots that make normal Christians look bad? Is this some sly anti-Christian crusade by the show? Of course the better is will she make it to the family / friends reward, and did she choose to bring Tootie to the island?

5. Wait, The CW still exists? Who knew?


And here is what I will be watching this fall and when they return. Mark your calendars.


Mondays
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (September 24)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (Already premiered)
8:00 – The Voice (Tonight)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (September 24)
10:00 – Castle (September 24)

Tuesdays
9:00 – Go On (September 11)
9:00 – Happy Endings (October 23)
9:30 – Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (October 23)
10:00 – Parenthood (September 11)
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (September 11)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: Philippines (September 19)
8:00 – The Middle (September 26)
8:30 – The Neighbors (September 26 premieres at 9:30; moves to 8:30 on October 3)
8:00 - Animal Practice (September 26)
9:00 – Modern Family (September 26)
9:30 – Suburgatory (October 17)
10:00 – Nashville (October 10)
10:00 – The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (September 19)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (September 27)
8:00 – Last Resort (September 27)

Fridays
8:00 – Last Man Standing (November 2)
8:30 – Community (October 19)
9:00 – Grimm (time slot premiere, September 14)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (September 30)
9:00 – Revenge (September 30)
9:00 – Dexter (September 30)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (October 14)
10:00 – Homeland (September 30)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/9/12

Quote of the Week: Ask Osama bin Laden if he is better off than he was four years ago. (John Kerry, The Democratic National Convention)

Song of the Week: Ronan – Taylor Swift (Stand Up 2 Cancer; proceeds of the song go to cancer research)

Big News of the Week: The Democratic National Convention: It is weird to hear every talk about how great a president Bill Clinton was, even may conservative talking heads considering the guy was so toxic back in 2000 Democratic nominee Al Gore treated his boss like, well, like Mitt Romney treated George W. Bush at his convention. Seriously people, if you have forgotten, go Google Monica Lewinski, Paula Jones, Vince Foster, and / or Marc Rich.

I have a longstanding voting strategy to never vote for incumbents because the longer politicians stay in office, the more corrupt they become. But I would have totally voted for Barack Obama had his convention speech just been him walking up to the front of the stage, say, “I shot Osama bin Laden in the face.” Drop the mic and watch off the stage while Bob Marley’s I Shot the Sheriff played in the background.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Switched at Birth: I actually thought they were going to have Bay forgive Emmitt in less than one episode. That should be unforgiveable, especially for a teenage and ABC Family is not known for its eaklthy relationships (*cough*Aria/Ezra*cough*) so thankfully they have Bay a backbone (for at least one episode). But speaking of unhealthy relationship, that cannot possibly have Daphne hook up with her boss (who I swear is the Kennish’s lawyer with a haircut) can they? Ew.

Grimm: The episode featured a zombie virus that makes you horny. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

MTV Video Music Awards: This year has to rival the painfully bad Vegas year (the one where Britney Spears laughably started the show) as the worst VMA’s ever. Really the only thing worth talking about is how the botched the MCA tribute. C’mon, last year Amy Winehouse gets a ten minute tribute including a performance even though she released just one great album and no memorable videos and never received a VMA or even performed on the show. But the Beastie Boys were one of the top five video artists ever (arguable number two behind Michael Jackson), gave one of the most memorable VMA performances ever with Sabotage, and was one of only a handful of artists to win the Video Vanguard Award. But all MCA gets is about five seconds of No Sleep to Brooklyn played over the loud speaker. MTV should be ashamed.


Free Download of the Week: Everything Is Embarrassing – Sky Ferreira (Rcrd Lbl)

Deal of the Week: Big DVD and Blu Ray Sale: The Big Bang Theory, New Jack City, Gremlins 2

New Album Release of the Week: Away From The World (Super Deluxe Limited Edition CD/DVD) - Dave Matthews Band

New DVD Release of the Week: The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Fifth Season

Video of the Week: It seems like every couple months a new movie trailer pops up that makes me go, that has to be a fake Funny or Die trailer because no way anyone would actually make that. When I saw the title Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I assumed it would be a trailer parody of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but then Jeremy Renner pops up and I realize this is an actually serious movie. Alrighty.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00: NBC’s staggered start of the fall season with the debut of its Monday and Tuesday lineups (sans Revolution which gets its premiere next week so they can air The New Normal and Go On pilots which are both currently online if you cannot wait; same with Revolution and Animal Practice). And the best show premiering this week is easily Parenthood. If my memory is correct Crosby and Jasmine got married, Julia and Joel got a kid (but sadly they did not adopt the coffee girl and her baby like I hoped), and Adam thankfully did not fire the absurdly hot secretary even though she kissed him. I am most interested in which Friday Night Lights alum pops up this season following in the footsteps of Lyla Garrity and Vince Howard. What is Becky Sproles up to these days?

Saying Goodbye to The Dog Whisperer

After eight seasons, it is time to say goodbye to The Dog Whisperer. With only two episodes left (tonight at 8:00 on Nat Geo Wild, with the series finale net week), Cesar Millan is ready to get his hands dirty (and bloody) one last time. Before saying goodbye, Cesar will check in with two of his celebrity friends tonight. First up is Jillian Michaels is back again with a new rescue Chihuahua and with an adoptive daughter coming soon, Jillian wants to get the breed’s legendary attitude under control. The episode hits a little too close to home because everything wrong with her dog is exactly how my Chihuahua acts around anyone who gets with in a hundred foot radius from my house. Also tonight, Cesar will also travel to Kelsey Grammer’s house where apparently his dogs have not seen his show Boss because they thing they rule the Grammer household by doing their doggie business all over the house and occasionally sneak off the property to do some geese hunting.

Then for next week’s finale, Cesar has a couple more cases to crack and when the episode is titled Cesar’s Worst Bite. In the episode Ceasar helps a couple who fears their 18-month child may get bitten by their Lab puppy who has started to display disturbing food aggression. Later in the episode Cesar helps a homeless woman as she prepares to move into a woman’s shelter with her protective pit bull, Tucker.

The Dog Whisperer may be coming to an end next week, but do not worry, Cesar Millan will not be going anywhere because he is currently in production on his new Nat Geo Wild competition series Leader of the Pack, due to premiere in early 2013.

The final two episodes of The Dog Whisperer air tonight and next Saturday at 8:00 on Nat Geo Wild.