First Impressions: Survivor: Philippines

I never liked the concept of Redemption Island. Why does Boston Rob need redemption? Russell Hantz? Coach, Ozzy? None of them needed redemption other than being douchebags . I always thought if you are going to bring someone back for redemption either have it be someone that did something colossally stupid (like the dude who gave away immunity and was promptly voted out) or someone who was medically removed from the game. Well Survivor did the latter for its Philippines season bring back three contestants that were had to leave the game prematurely.

Thankfully none of the returning cast mates turned out to be Colton Cumbie, the gay homosexual racist Republican from last season whose appendix was about to burst. Instead, the first, and probably most (in)famous casualty Michael Skupin, who fell into the fire during the second season, swinging the season, is back a decade later. Also returning is Russell Swan, surprisingly because dude almost died the first time around with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. His exit also swayed power his season and was yet another absurdly lucky play that benefitted Hantz during his two seasons. Lastly is Jonathan Penner, who got a life threatening infection during his second time playing the game.

Those are not the only familiar faces in the Philippines as they brought in not one, but two celebrities that rival Jimmy Johnson as the most famous contestants ever. This includes fellow sportsman Jeff Kent, perennial All-Star baseball player for the Giants and Astros who just retired four years ago. Also joining him on the island is Lisa Whelchel who may better be known as Blair Warner of The Facts of Life. Unfortunately for next week’s preview, she may not be around long enough for Tootie to join her for the friends and family challenge.

It was apropos that they brought back three wounded survivors this season because there were already some injuries in the first three days. Right off the boat Jeff, who was injury prone during his major league career, tweaked his knee right off the boat. And we may have found out just how Michael feel into the fire after getting cuts on his head, hand and foot.

But the first episode belonged to Zane Knight who was quick to create an alliance with every single person on his tribe, and then told people he had alliances with everyone else. Then after putting up a pitiful performance in the immunity challenge, he stupidly offered himself up to be voted out. But here is the rub, Zane actually thought by putting himself on the chopping block he could Jedi Mind Trick people into voting for Russell. The force certainly was not with Zane who was prompted voted out which means I am going to have to update my list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list.

Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Take a Shower in a Month: Angie Layton

Winner: Roberta “R.C.” Saint-Amour

Back Up Choice: Michael Skupin

Survivor: Philippines airs Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream episodes on CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.