Monday, September 10, 2012
Tonight starts the slow rollout of the fall network schedule with the return of The Voice (Go On, Parenthood, and Sons of Anarchy all return tomorrow) so I thought I would share some of the biggest questions going into the fall season of television.
1. Is Carrie Still Cray-Cray? Last season on Homeland, the crazier Carrie got, the more entertaining the show got culminating in the great episode where Carrie went off her meds and created some crazy genius wall collage. Unfortunately like every other crazy person on television last season she elected to have electo-shock therapy. I cannot image she will be sane enough to rejoin the CIA even if everybody learns she was right about Brody all along. Of course this is television so they will probably find away unless she becomes a private contractor for Saul.
2. What Will the Purple Mist Bring to Storybrooke? Okay, the clear answer is that the purple mist we saw in the season finale of Once Upon a Time was magic, so the real question is what that means for the characters? And how do the relationships change now that everybody knows each other’s past? Oh yeah, and Captain Hook better be epic.
3. Will The Governor Be As Awesome as the Comic Book People Say? During the long slog that was the second season of The Walking Dead, all I heard from the comic book people was just wait until they get to The Prison. The Governor, who runs the place, is awesome. And Michonne, who made a cameo in the season finale with her armless and jawless slaves, is also up there in entertainment value. I have come to distrust The Walking Dead writers, so call me skeptical.
4. Will NBC’s Comedy Bet Pay Off? The last two times NBC doubled down on comedy did not really pay off. Two seasons ago they had their three hour comedy block on Thursdays that only lasted about two months. And of course there was the Jay Leno Hour disaster before that. Now they are going to a comedy block every weekday except Mondays (unless you consider Christina Aguilera’s coaching style on The Voice laughable). Surprisingly they ear not even laughing any new comedies during their much vaunted (but lowly watched) two hour Thursday night block. Instead Animal Practice and Guys with Kids are put out on an island to start Wednesdays. Go On and The New Normal do get the cushy post-The Voice slot on Tuesdays (except in Utah where the gay-homosexuals got banned, natch). While returning shows Whitney and Community get sent off to the Friday death slot in what may be the weirdest pairing ever. Will all this funny work out? Of the ten shows on the fall schedule (and four waiting for midseason, including The Office spin-off) I would be surprised if over half make it to Fall 2013. If I were Vegas, I would put the over/under at four, which would mean ten get the ax.
5. Is Beavis and Butt-Head Returning? Seriously, Beavis & Butthead was one of the few reboots that were just as good as the original run (aside from the boys watching crappy television). But after the show ended I have not heard anything about the show since be it renewed or canceled. Yet MTV keep on churning out unfunny live action comedies.
Speaking of the great philosopher Butt-Head who once gave us this gem, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” Here are five questions no one cares enough to have answered.
1. Who Is the Titular Mother? Unless they somehow explain that Victoria was the mother on How I Met Your Mother all along, I still do not care.
2. What Turned Off the Lights on Revolution? Do not care. J.J. Abrams is a hack.
3. Has Haden Panettiere Learned How to Act Yet? A couple weeks ago, someone asked me if I thought that Brody’s wife on Homeland was the worst actress of all-time. I laughed at the assertion, not only is she not the worst of all time, she is not even the worst actress that currently has a job especially considering Hayden is co-headlining Nashville this fall. What is worse is she has to share the screen with one of the greats in Tami Taylor. Hurmph. It is too late to recast her with Julie Taylor?
4. Will Blair from Facts of Life Be Annoyingly Religious? In a word: yes. Why does Survivor always recruit these religious zealots that make normal Christians look bad? Is this some sly anti-Christian crusade by the show? Of course the better is will she make it to the family / friends reward, and did she choose to bring Tootie to the island?
5. Wait, The CW still exists? Who knew?
And here is what I will be watching this fall and when they return. Mark your calendars.
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (September 24)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (Already premiered)
8:00 – The Voice (Tonight)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (September 24)
10:00 – Castle (September 24)
9:00 – Go On (September 11)
9:00 – Happy Endings (October 23)
9:30 – Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (October 23)
10:00 – Parenthood (September 11)
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (September 11)
8:00 – Survivor: Philippines (September 19)
8:00 – The Middle (September 26)
8:30 – The Neighbors (September 26 premieres at 9:30; moves to 8:30 on October 3)
8:00 - Animal Practice (September 26)
9:00 – Modern Family (September 26)
9:30 – Suburgatory (October 17)
10:00 – Nashville (October 10)
10:00 – The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (September 19)
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (September 27)
8:00 – Last Resort (September 27)
8:00 – Last Man Standing (November 2)
8:30 – Community (October 19)
9:00 – Grimm (time slot premiere, September 14)
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (September 30)
9:00 – Revenge (September 30)
9:00 – Dexter (September 30)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (October 14)
10:00 – Homeland (September 30)