Press Release: FX - There Is No Box

FX quickly became the home for quality television and arguably is overshadowing its big brother Fox racking up more critical praise and awards than the parent brand. Now the network is branding itself with a There Is No Box campaign. You may have seen commercials for it already but it starting a big push next week including a spot on the Super Bowl. I assume they are getting a discount as Fox is airing the game this year. Now I only watch one of their shows, Rescue Me, but I may have a contest to win a DVD season set of one of their shows in the near future (in fact click here to win a copy of Dirt Season 1 starring Courteney Cox). Below is a promo for the campaign, official pictures for the shows (click to enlarge), and a press release about the whole thing:




THERE IS NO BOX

FX UNVEILS ITS FIRST BRANDING CAMPAIGN

Multi-Million Dollar Campaign Features 60-Second Spot in Super Bowl XLII

FX, which airs more scripted original series than any other advertiser-supported cable network, will unveil a new multi-million dollar branding campaign, which includes the purchase of a 60-second spot in the “post-gun” position of FOX’s telecast of Super Bowl XLII on Sunday, February 3, 2008. The new campaign, entitled THERE IS NO BOX, reflects FX's reputation as a groundbreaking and critically-acclaimed programmer. The FX branding campaign officially begins on Tuesday, December 18 at 10 PM (ET/PT) in a first-run telecast of the original series Nip/Tuck.

The campaign marks the first time in the network's 13-year history that it has put forth a true brand proposition geared to market the network as a whole. The initial phase of the campaign begins across the Fox Networks Group, including all of its cable networks and Fox Broadcasting Company, as well as online through Fox Interactive Media, and print through the many News Corp. owned publications. The branding campaign will be a long-term effort, which includes off-network television, online and print media buys.

"In the past, we've chosen to let our original programming successes do the talking. In essence, our aggressive branding campaign began five years ago with the launch of the original series The Shield. Now, with the introduction of THERE IS NO BOX, we begin to market FX as a network. Highlighting the commonalities of FX’s diverse series, such as stirring performances and TV cliché-obliterating originality, allows the network’s overall excellence to shine through," said John Landgraf, President and General Manager of FX Network.

The new branding campaign was created in-house by the FX Marketing department's On-Air Promotion, Print Design and Advertising teams.

"FX has led the vanguard of a revolution in ad-supported TV programming,” said Stephanie Gibbons, Executive Vice President of Marketing and On-Air Promotion, FX Networks. “THERE IS NO BOX speaks not only to the network’s commitment to defying traditional formulas, but also claims FX’s position in a future that will see a dynamic expansion of the boundaries of content distribution that have defined television to date.”

THERE IS NO BOX
The spots for THERE IS NO BOX will feature the song by James Morrison, "You Give Me Something," from his recently-released album Undiscovered. There are three main network 60-second spots and individual 30-second spots for each of FX’s eight original series. The individual show spots contain phrases preceded by the words “There Is No.” The phrases used in the spots are commonly associated with clichés of traditional genres of television. When coupled with the words “There Is No,” these spots define the way in which each of those respective FX series depart from traditional form. As each spot ends, the FX logo and its traditional klieg-light box fades off screen, followed by the words “There Is No Box.” The klieg light box in the network logo will be phased out over a period of time – with the network logo simply upper case “FX”, in bold.

The genesis for the THERE IS NO BOX campaign began with research showing a consistent perception among FX viewers – backed by critics – that, no matter what the genre, an FX original series will deliver a viewing experience in a distinctive way that has become an identifiable signature of the channel.

Landgraf added, “We’ve talked about doing a branding campaign from the time I joined the network, when our only original series were The Shield and Nip/Tuck. Ultimately, we decided to wait until our brand had achieved a kind of maturity and fullness across multiple successful series, not just two or three. Another primary reason for this timing was the desire to wait until we could position the brand for all viewers within our target adult 18-49 demographic, including male and female, 18-34 and 35-49. We needed, and now have, a wider array of shows that appeal to each of those groups.”

Through its original content, the network has cultivated a consistent outsider point of view and identity. The experience offered to the FX viewer is presented through the eyes of anti-heroes – characters who do not conform to expectation, yet ultimately remain sympathetic. At times they make bad choices in their lives and can face dire consequences as a result, but they are emotionally complex and authentically human.

FX has set the standard for excellence in ad-supported cable television, receiving more Emmy® and Golden Globe® award recognition for its series than any other basic cable network. Of its eight original series, six are dramas - the most dramas ever to run concurrently a cable network, including HBO and Showtime. Since The Shield premiered in March of 2002, FX's average primetime audience has increased +93% among its target audience of Adults 18-49 and has jumped +87% in total viewers.

While FX used two previous taglines, those taglines were never marketed as a true brand position of the network. When the network first launched in June of 1994, the network’s logo was a lower case ‘f’ paired with and upper case ‘x’ in a cube with tagline “TV Made Fresh Daily,” which was a reflection of the network’s live original programming produced from its New York studio, The Apartment. In August of 1997, the network changed its logo to upper case “FX” attached to a box containing klieg lights with the tagline “Fox Gone Cable” to reflect a lineup that was more Fox-centric with off-network runs of The X-Files and NYPD Blue, as well as weekly Major League Baseball telecasts.

FX is the flagship general entertainment basic cable network from Fox. Launched in June of 1994, FX is carried in more than 94 million homes. The diverse schedule includes a growing roster of distinctive original series, an established film library with box-office hits from 20th Century Fox and other studios, and an impressive roster of acquired hit series. For more information about FX, visit our web site at www.FXnetworks.com.

I Want My Music Television vol. XVI

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Girls In Their Summer Clothes (Winter Mix) - Bruce Springsteen

Don’t ask me why Bruce Springsteen would release a song about summer in the dead of winter, but it is a great song. I think this version of the song is technically called the Winter Mix, but don’t ask me the difference between it and the original. But the video is beautifully shot and if MTV bothered to nominate actual best videos instead of the best from artists who appeal to fourteen year old girls like they have in recent years, this would be a lock for a moonman. All-American Girl - Carrie Underwood Speaking of girls in their summer clothes, Carrie Underwood wears plenty in her new video and I am definitely happier for it. Yeah the song is lame in a cheesy country music kind of way but I’m not sure which Carrie I like the most, the cheerleader, the doctor, the cop, the teacher, or the chemist. Although I wonder if she is subliminally endorsing a candidate in the video. On one hand there is the female president, which could be she is backing Hilary. But the dude grooms and the bride may be a subtle hint she is pro-Mitt Romney. Amen - Kid Rock Another person whom I really do not want a political statement from, but it is still hard to not agree with many of points Kid Rock makes in the song, well not that I have ever felt guilty for being white. The song is easily the best of his career. I Feel It All - Feist 1, 2, 3, 4 was such an infectiously silly video you can’t hate on Apple for co-opting it for there iPod campaign. Even though the latest from Feist isn’t as colorful, it is still odd and hard to take your eyes off of.

First Impressions: Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad, the second original program from AMC after the critically acclaimed Mad Men, is labeled a dark comedy and definitely delivers on the dark part. The lead Walt is a science teacher who moonlights at car wash; he has a severely disabled kid with another on the way. Oh and he has just been diagnosed with a terminal case of cancer. The problem though is the comedy portion of the show, or more importantly the lack there of.

Not only is the show not that funny, you know it never a good sign whenever an episode, let a lone a pilot of a new show, starts off with a flash back. Whenever a show starts off with a “Three Days Earlier” basically what the writers are telling you is “listen, the actual beginning is pretty boring, so we are going to start in the exciting third act to draw you in before we get to the boring part. As an added bonus, we get to write less because we can just reshow a few scenes.”

What’s worse is there were a couple of characters you know have the potential of being funny but they just weren’t. First is the drug dealer/former student Walt hooks up with when he decides to start making meth to make sure his family is more financially secure when he is gone, but the drug dealer isn’t as snarky as he could be to amp up the humor. Then there is Walt’s brother-in-law/DEA agent who is your typical meathead authority figure but really didn’t have many lines for you to laugh at.

Verdict: Despite the disappointing start, it does have potential if the writers work out the kinks early on especially in raising the laughs quota. I am still going to give it another try or two. Because really, what else am I going to watch, dudes singing karaoke? Breaking Bad airs Sundays at 10:00 on AMC. You can also download Breaking Bad on iTunes. You can also download the show for free on Amazon Unbox for a limited time (see ad below, if it says $0.00 it is still free). Both have a making of the show video free for download.

The Rest Is Still Unwritten

So far this decade no one has given more profound advice than Natasha Bedingfield when she told me to feel the rain on my skin, no one else can feel it for me, that only I could let it in. No one else and I mean no one else can speak the words on my lip. Then I should just drench myself in words unspoken; live my life with arms wide open. The rest, of course, has remained unwritten. Despite the life changing advice she gave me, it was safe to assume that she didn’t have much left in her well after that.

The follow up single, titled, um, Single was not as well received then there was the laughable first single from her next album I Want to Have Your Babies. The album ended up getting released in April in England but postponed after Babies failed to make a dent stateside. Eight months later, a version of the album is finally dropping here with a major overhaul, only half the songs appear on the two albums, a name change to Pocketful of Sunshine, and a new lead single, Love Like This featuring the ubiquitous Sean Kingston. Yes the Beautiful Girls dude that ruined many summer house parties last year.

The result of all that reconfiguring leaves not that much change as the album ends up sounding much like the last but without the two huge hits. There are a few listenable songs, Soulmate can be touching if you are search for one yourself, if not, you will just sound like a Christina Aguilera castoff but sung by someone without a vocal range. Happy is the closest to a sing a long on the album but still not even as good as These Words.

Bedingfield’s time as Justin Timberlake’s opening act seems to have rubbed off because many of the songs like the title track and Angel have the futuristic beats from his last album, but her they are so muddled they just don’t work most of the time. Adam Levin of Maroon 5 fame is relegated to background duties but the back and forth between the two would have been much more if Levine would have been featured than the Kingston duet.

Song to Download - Happy

Pocketful of Sunshine gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

2008 Winter Music Preview

For the past couple years, the first quarter of the year has been a vast wasteland where record companies drop albums by artist they hope to break in the new year (see last year with Amy Winehouse) or albums that were supposed to release before Christmas but held them because they sucked (see the chick from The Pussycat Dolls this year). Yet scrolling over this years’ Winter Music Preview, even though there really is not a blockbuster among them aside maybe Jack Johnson, there is a decent amount of good (and more than enough crappy) music being released the first four months of 2008.

If you are interrested in preordering the albums from Amazon, the link on the album name will take you their, the links on artists names will take you to their iTunes page. If I left one of your favorite artists off the list with an upcoming album feel free to drop me a comment or feel free to wax poetic in the comment section on which albums you are looking forward to. (Note: release dates subject to change):


January 22

Jukebox - Cat Power: Chan Marshall is back to get her indie queen back from Feist with a album full of cover songs with songs made famous by Frank Sinatra, Hank Williams and James Brown. The album is available for pre-order on iTunes.

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield: Of the new songs I have heard, it sounds like Natasha will go down as a two hit wonder. The album is available for pre-order on iTunes.


January 29

Tim's House - Kate Walsh: No not that Kate Walsh, this is a British singer that is more Norah Jones than Lily Allen. The album is already available on iTunes.

Just A Little Lovin' - Shelby Lynne: She won the Grammy for Best New Artist in 2001 (almost a decade after releasing her first album) and has been (unfairly) ignored pretty much ever since by the general public.

Moment Of Forever - Willie Nelson: With Kenny Chesney producing, Willie takes on songs by Dave Matthews, Bob Dylan and a few songs he wrote himself.

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend: This year’s buzz band which means the album will most likely fall under the weight of all the hype.

Her Name Is Nicole - Nicole Scherzinger: As I mentioned in the intro, it is never a good sign when you get moved from the fourth quarter to the first.


February 5

Sleep Through the Static - Jack Johnson: My most anticipated album of the winter, nothing like a surfer to warm things up with snow on the ground. The album is available for pre-order on iTunes.

Detours - Sheryl Crow: Maybe it is a coincidence that Crow hasn’t had a hit since duetting with Kid Rock, but Tuesday Night Music Club producer is back for this album which was recorded in Nashville which could hint at a more folksy sound.

It Is Time For A Love Revolution - Lenny Kravitz: The album title is reminiscent of his first Let Love Rule, a romp of tree hugging 60’s inspired jams.

Lucky - Nada Surf: Who had the group the recorded Popular in the late 90’s sustain a career a over decade later in their office pool?


February 12

25th Anniversary of Thriller - Michael Jackson: Yeah, seeing that this album hit its half a century mark doesn’t make me old at all. But anyways. If I am not mistaken, this will feature remixes by Kanye West and will.i.am.

Shine - Estelle: Speaking of Kanye and will, they will both be appearing on this album British singer/rapper Estelle, the first released on John Legend's label.


February 19

Mockingbird - Allison Moorer: Younger of Shelby Lynn, Moorer releases an album of cover songs with her take on songs by Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell and Johnny Cash.


February 26

On a Clear Night - Missy Higgins: Huge in her native Australia, where this album already hit number one last May, now she tries to conquer the States. Again (her debut, The Sound of White was essentially overlooked here). This album is already available on iTunes.

Discipline - Janet Jackson: Insert your own wardrobe malfunction jokes here.

Another Country - Tift Merritt: She is Ryan Adams approved, that is all I need to know.

March 4

Warpaint - The Black Crowes: The first album from the band since Kate Hudson tried to pull a Yoko Ono.

Asking for Flowers - Kathleen Edwards: Made some of the best alt-country music this decade that is not credited to Ryan Adams, expect more on this album.


March 11

Hello - Tristan Prettyman: I think I may be the only one who check out her first album that was very Jack Johnson with a female twist, hopefully more people check out the follow up.

Ego Trippin' - Snoop Dogg: Snoop has set the bar high after the Sexual Seduction video. Snoop says there will not be any guests on this album but expect prodution from the Neptunes.

These Are Good Times People - The Presidents of the United States of America: Peaches is one of the greatest songs ever in the history of the world. Or at least from the ninties.


March 18

Bittersweet World - Ashlee Simpson: Yeah, this is going to suck.


March 25

Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings - Counting Crows: I already talked about this in the Fall 2007 Music Preview but it seemed to be pushed back every couple weeks.


Sometime April

Accelerate - R.E.M.
Atlantis - Gnarls Barkley
The Glass Passenger - Jack's Mannequin
Rising Down - The Roots
That Chick - Mariah Carey

Free at Last, They Took Your Life, They Could Not Take Your Pride

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XVI

Quote of the Week: Well sometimes the truth is stupid and ignorant. (Mac McGill, Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: Now That I Know - Devendra Banhart (Friday Night Lights)

Big News of the Week: Grammy’s In Doubt?: Last week saw a stripped down version of the Golden Globes (why anyone cares why about twelve foreign journalist known for taking bribes this is what are the best American movies and television shows is beyond me, but to each their own) and this week murmurs of the Grammy suffering the same fate came out thanks to the writers strike. Which left me scratching my head because the Grammy’s do not need writers to put on a good show like the Golden Globes, Emmys or Oscars which relies on bits, monologue and star actors to get viewers.

In fact writers would make for a better Grammy’s, the time they save on stupid banter (they only need to say ten words or less: and the nominees are; and the winner is (insert artist’s name)) could mean another act can perform. I don’t think they have had a host in a couple years. And certainly there are enough musicians out there they can they don’t need members of the actors guild to present. I was a little worried as we are about three weeks away and only the Foo Fighters, who will be participating in the lame My Night at the Grammy’s thing that Justin Timberlake did last year, have been confirmed to perform. Later in the week the Foo Fighters said they would indeed show up despite the strike, Beyoncé said she would honor her invitation to play the show, and the Dap-Kings also said they plan to back Amy Winehouse at the show. And if Winehouse ends up being a no show it is doubtful it will not be a show of support to the WGA.


Coalition Links of the Week:

Buzz issued a bold challenge to recast Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (BuzzSugar)

Eric wrote about the French titles (translated) of American TV shows (Daemon's TV)

Liz previewed Hollywood Residential, a promising new single-camera comedy premiering Wednesday on Starz. (Glowy Box)

American Idol is back, and Mikey's life is suddenly filled with meaning once again. (Mikey Likes TV)

Marcia reviewed the second season opener of Torchwood and, for the most part, liked what she saw. (Pop Vultures)

Rae had fun talking to a fellow Buffy fan and the woman behind Kyle XY's Jessi XX, Jaimie Alexander. (RTVW)

Vance is still undecided about Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. (Tapeworthy)

Desperate for something to watch, Jace tuned into the first two episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and pleaded with John Connor to wash his greasy hair. (Televisionary)

Who do you think would win a knock-down, drag-out fight: NBC's Chuck or Rami from Project Runway? (TiFaux)

Jennifer had a "biting" good time interviewing Moonlight’s Sophia Mylesabout what it’s like working on a show about vampires. (Tube Talk)

We posted an in-depth interview with Lost star Elizabeth Mitchell, who's not surprisingly far more delightful than her somewhat sinister character Juliet. (theTVaddict.com)

Kate watched American Idol for the first time ever - and loved it. (TV Filter)


Michigan Primaries: I didn’t watch that much politics this week as I decided to bust out the first season of The A-Team that I got for Christmas instead, but there was an interesting development that came out of it. With Hilary Clinton being the only one on the ballot (Barak Obama and John Edwards withdrew their names because the state moved up its primary without permission), Uncommitted got 40% of the vote. To put that in perspective, on a cold, snowy day, with an election that didn’t mean anything, 8% of the state put on their coats and showed up at the polls for the sole purpose of not voting for Clinton. Democrats, I smell an unelectable problem.

But my favorite political headline of the week has to be: Sex in restroom stalls is private, ACLU says. Thank God for nutjobs like the ACLU and PETA because if not for them, who would us normal people have to laugh at?


Friday Night Lights: Holy Fracking Weevil Sighting! Too bad they didn’t give him a motorcycle. Hopefully that isn’t the last we see of him. And is it any possibility they import Kristen Bell too so they save her from the train wreck that is Heroes? But anyways. Great episode even with the lack of Landry because we got more of Smash’s mom, Glen, the still bigoted Mac (you’d think he’d watch his mouth after it got him in trouble last season), and no more maid. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.


Promo of the Week:



I love how Mitt Romney got caught in a lie, called out for it, tried to refute the lie, they right back into finishing the lie even though the dude from the AP just let everyone know what he was saying was a lie. How scrpited do you have to be to do something like that?


Next Week’s Pick: Chuck at 8:00 and 10:00 on NBC: Darn you WGA and your silly little strike that have deprived me this year so far of posting a new Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week. Then in a bad scheduling idea not seen since ABC screwed over Knight of Prosperity, NBC is splitting the final two Chuck episodes with The Apprentice in the middle. It is dumbfounding that television executives are that dumb. For those that need something to do so you are not stuck watching Donald Trump, MSNBC is hosting the Florida Republican Debate starting at 9:00. While some candidates try to convince you that Wyoming is a real win or argue over a one delegate difference in Nevada, Florida is the first real primary. To put things in perspective, the Republicans have awarded 146 delegates (with Hawaii giving out another 20 Friday), the Democrats 92 (with South Carolina giving out another 55 Saturday). Floriday will be giving out 114 and 210 respectively. Also current delegate leaders Mitt Romney and Barack Obama still need 1122 and 2077 more respectively to wrap up their nominations.

Press Release: Breaking Bad

Remember over the summer you kept on hearing about the new show Mad Men but didn’t bother watching because of one of three reasons; 1) you didn’t hear about until it already started and didn’t want to catch up in the middle, 2) you are too young to watch American Movie Classics; 3) you have no clue which of your 5700 channels is AMC or some kind of combination of the three? Well there is already buzz on AMC’s second foray into original scripted series with Breaking Bad starring the dad from Malcolm in the Middle who runs a meth lab that starts up tomorrow (January 20) at 10:00. The main character even has his own blog: Walt’s Wisdom which has the video below on it. And looky, a press release:



BREAKING BAD New Show on AMC...

A mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher unexpectedly adopts a criminal new lifestyle in the highly anticipated new one hour series BREAKING BAD from Sony Pic-tures Television. The provocative drama depicts the extraordinary lengths to which a man will go in order to provide for his family. BREAKING BAD premieres in January 2008 on AMC.

Walter White is a meek high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Already facing financial hardship, Walter realizes that this news will likely force his family into financial ruin. Concealing the news from everyone, Walter decides to make as much money as possible for his family in the limited time he has left. He convinces his former student to partner with him, and the two turn a beat-up R.V. into a rolling meth lab. However, Walter’s unfamiliarity with the drug world and his partner’s bad choices quickly clash and the duo’s partnership takes a turn for the worse.

Emmy-nominated veteran actor Bryan Cranston (“Malcolm in the Middle,” Little Miss Sunshine) heads the cast of BREAKING BAD portraying Walter White, a high school chemistry teacher whose life is suddenly transformed by a dire medical diagnosis. Aaron Paul (“Big Love”) plays Jesse Pinkman, a street-savvy former student who “teaches” Walter a new trade. Anna Gunn (“Deadwood”) is Walter’s pregnant wife Sky-lar, an enterprising homemaker. Dean Norris (Little Miss Sunshine) is Walter’s boister-ous and crude brother-in-law Hank who happens to be a federal drug enforcement agent. Betsy Brandt (“CSI”) plays Walter’s sister-in-law Marie, and R.J. Mitte (“Hannah Montana,” “Weeds”) is Walter’s son Walter Jr., whose teen angst is further complicated by cerebral palsy.

BREAKING BAD is created by highly acclaimed writer, producer and director Vince Gil-ligan (“The X-Files”), executive produced by Oscar® winner Mark Johnson (The Chroni-cles of Narnia, The Notebook, Donnie Brasco), with the pilot episode photographed by two-time Oscar-winning cinematographer John Toll (Braveheart, Legends of the Fall, The Last Samurai).

On BREAKING BAD, producers have created characters of complexity and nuance that live in a world in which traditional views of right and wrong do not apply. This dark and distinctive story of a husband/father fighting to financially care for his family before his death also incorporates moments of laugh-out-loud humor. Vince Gilligan brings his genius for creating compelling characters to this unique series and the talented cast skates the line between comedy and tragedy in each riveting episode.

Filmed on location in New Mexico, BREAKING BAD is executive produced by Johnson and Gilligan; produced by Karen Moore (“The Law and Mr. Lee,” “Threshold”) and Patty Lin (“Desperate Housewives,” “Leap of Faith”); and associate produced by Gina Scheerer (“So Little Time”). Emmy-nominated Reynaldo Villalobos (A Bronx Tale, Bor-dertown, Urban Cowboy) is the director of photography. BREAKING BAD is produced by High Bridge Productions, Inc. and Gran Via Productions in association with Sony Pic-tures Television for AMC.

I Want My Music Television vol. XV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Fast Car - Wyclef Jean



I would like to talk about how this was my favorite song off of Wyclef Jean’s latest album or this cool video but I can’t help trying to figure out just how big ‘Clef head has grown over the past decade. And where is Paul Simon? For more on Wyclef’s possible oversized dome, check out Big Head Timbaland and the Monsters.


Day Too Soon - Sia



Between her album cover (see: If I am a Number I’m Infinity Plus One) and this video, it is safe to assume her album title, Some People Have Real Problems is a self-reference from Sia.


Your Song - Kate Walsh



A nice little ditty from Kate Walsh that would probably get lost of play on a television show that stars someone whom she shares a name with if the lazy writers from that show that usually adds a musical montage because they cannot think of anything profound to write to fill a whole episode are on strike. But anyways. It looks like she is lip-syncing backward for the cool backward effect; well either that or she is the worst lip-syncer since Ashlee Simpson. But the greatest lip-syncing backward video ever is…


Drop - The Pharcyde



… this video from The Pharcyde. Fat Lip, where are you? Fun fact: I saw The Pharcyde live in concert opening up for Coolio (I think I was the only one who bought a Pharcyde t-shirt instead of a Coolio one). Man, I miss the 90’s.

You Do a Haunted Swamp Tour?

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this bayou port aboard this tiny ship. The guide was a mighty stupid man; the hero was sullen and depressed. Nine passengers set sail that night for a haunted bayou tour, for spirit and ghouls.

The weather started to rain, the tiny ship was stuck. If not for the courage of the hard to get chick the tourist would be sunk, the tourist would be gator food.

The passengers set ground on the shore of this deserted haunted house with the dude from Dodgeball, The Token Black Guy too, an old dude and his wife, the wannabe movie star the pornographer and the chick from Angel, here in the movie Hatchet.

Hatchet bills itself as “not a remake, it’s not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror.” The problem with old school American horror is that it was basically destroyed by the Scream franchise that let everyone in on the rules of the genre. But Hatchet doesn’t care if you know the rules, if fact you can pretty much guess the death order once the ship sets sail. It is more about the character that have no problem to crack one-liners even as some deformed dude bears down on them and killing them is some outrageous ways which are more Mortal Combat than Saw.

The movie has a horror pedigree having Freddy Krueger, Candyman, and Jason Voorhees (at least the dude who played him four of the eleven (?) times) all making appearances in the movie. The movie is far from perfect, you can’t help but think of Mask when you first see the killer and the ending is frustrating in a The Sopranos, did my power just go out, kind of way. But Hatchet is one of the more enjoyable horror movies of the past decade.

Hatchet gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

If I am a Number I’m Infinity Plus One

There has been no bigger surprise early in this year than learning the chick who sang Destiny by Zero 7 a few years back is white. Not only white but Australia. Seriously, who saw that coming? That aside, the girl in question Sia has managed to release three album on three separate record label (there were a bunch of EP’s mixed in between), the latest coming out on Starbuck’s Hear Music label. So if you are one of the pretentious types who patron the coffee house be prepared to listen to her ad nausea in the couple months.

From a look at the cover, you can easily assume that Some People Have Real Problems could be about the singer herself. And listening to some of the songs you will be even more convinced. Academia is a weird old to a English major written by a Mathlete that either is the dumbest song you ever heard or most clever depending on who you hung out with in high school. The eccentricities are only aided with the Beck appearance on the song. But you can best sum up Sia’s mental state with the lines, “I don’t wanna grow old. Bring me all the toys you can find” from Playground.

Some People Have Real Problems is a great fit for the Starbucks label just because the music is perfect background music for precious people who hang out in coffee shops all day; the songs are melodic enough to sooth your caffeine high but not noticeable to distract you from still trying to perfect that novel you have been working on half a decade. The only time Sia deviates is at the end of the album with the hidden track Buttons that sounds like a long lost eighties dance classic. And the creepy children’s choir is a nice touch at the end of Little Black Sandals where Sia tries to do for footwear what Rihanna did for rain gear.

Song to Download - Academia

Some People Have Real Problems gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Lyrics Quiz: Best Songs of 1998

It has become a tradition here at the 9th Green that each January’s lyrics quiz goes back a decade for the best songs from ten years ago. Keep in mind I made this list back at the end of 1998 just like my recent 100 Best Songs of 2007. I am a little worried about next year as I widely regard 1999 as the worst year for music ever and there are going to be some really bad songs I may be a little embarrassed about on that list. But you have a year to wait for that. As always you need to put both artist and title in the comments section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will un-bold it and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the quiz:

Hints:
21. Fun fact: this artist started as a backup singer for Michael Jackson.


1. I don’t make films but if I did they’d have a samurai. (One Week - Barenaked Ladies; guessed by Angie)
2. It's silly when girls sell their souls because of sin. Look at where you be in, fake hair like Europeans. (Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill; guessed by Jo)
3. Now when I wrote graffiti my name was Slop. (Intergalatic - Beastie Boys; guessed by Jo)
4. I watched as sweat ran down your face. Reached up and caught it at your chin. Licked my fingertips. (Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
5. You’re here, there’s nothing I fear. (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion; guessed by Angie)
6. Blue eyed boy meets a brown eyed girl. You can sew it up but can still see the tear. (Sweetest Thing - U2; guessed by Angie)
7. If my corpse can talk then I would tell you I was sorry. (Gone 'till November - Wyclef Jean; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. Can I hit it in the morning without giving you half my dough? And even worse if I were broke would you want me? (Can I Get A... - Jay-Z; guessed by Slaygal1981)
9. Let’s get real, let’s get heavy ‘til the water breaks the levy. (Hootch - Everything; guessed by Angie)
10. I’m cold and I’m shamed lying naked on the floor. (Torn - Natalie Imbruglia; guessed by Angie)
11. I will build heaven and call this home ‘cause you’re all dead now. (Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
12. And everyone here’s to blame and everyone here gets caught up in the pleasures or the pain. (Back 2 Good - Matchbox Twenty; guessed by Angie)
13. Folk don’t even own themselves, paying mental rent to cooperate presidents. (He Got Game - Public Enemy; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. I just bite it, it’s for the look, I don’t light it. (Gettin' Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith; guessed by abbyjesus1225)
15. Cards and phone calls and photograph, pictures of you. Constant reminders of things that you get used to. (Light in Your Eyes - Blessid Union of Souls; guessed by Slaygal1981)
16. Still have your picture in a frame. Still hear your footsteps down the hall. I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane. (Anytime - Bryan McKnight; guessed by Angie)
17. Whenever we kiss I get to feeling like this. I get to wishing there were two of you. (Can't Get Enough of You Baby - Smash Mouth; guessed by Angie)
18. As my soul slides down to die. How could I lose it, what did I try? Bit by bit I realized, he was here with me. (My Father's Eyes - Eric Clapton; guessed by Angie)
19. Blame us ‘cause we are who we are. Hate us ‘cause you’ll never get that far. And who'd suppose you would go? I've already learned enough to know. (At the Stars - Better than Ezra; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know it ain’t working. And when I try to walk away you’d hurt yourself to make me stay. (Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill; guessed by Slaygal1981)
21. If anyone should know how to let it slip. Swear I can see you coming up the drive. And there ain’t nothing like regret to remind you you’re alive.
22. A woman is a woman and a man ain’t nothin’ but a man. (Jump, Jive, an' Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra; guessed by Angie)
23. The shades and shadows undulate in my perception. My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights. I realize what I am now too smart to mention. (Never Is a Promise - Fiona Apple; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Don’t forget to give me back my black t-shirt. (Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. I wish you could swim like dolphins could swim. (Heroes - The Wallflowers; guessed by Slaygal1981)

Big Head Timbaland and the Monsters

Please, if you will, hop in the Scooter McGavin Time Machine (patent pending) all the way back to June 14, 2006 when right here on the 9th Green I wrote:

“If rap had a drug policy, Timbaland would be slapped with a 50 day suspension by now. Dude makes Big Head Barry look like Barry Bonds circa when I Got a Man was popular (Scooter’s Note: I had just made a Positive K reference earlier in the post).”

So it came to little surprise when I saw this headline today: 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Wyclef, Timbaland Reportedly Named in New York Steroids Probe. Okay, a little surprised; seriously, Mary J, Blige? No word yet if this will keep any of them out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (not that any of them beside Blige has even the smallest chance of getting in). Also as head scratching was the inclusion of actor, writer, director Tyler Perry. Do you really need HGH to dress like an old black chick? Certainly the prosthetics that Eddie Murphy uses can’t cost much more than black market steroids.

What is disturbing about all this is that according to the Albany Times Union, many of the artists listed in the probe got their prescriptions were signed by South Florida osteopath Dr. Gary Brandwein who happened to also be the doctor who prescribed drugs to Chris Benoit and sadly we all know how that turned out. As of press time, only a spokesperson of Blige responded saying, “Mary J. Blige has never taken any performance-enhancing illegal steroids.”

I wonder if the others will pull out the old classics “I unknowingly took them” or “I was only given B-12 shots” or “I just took them once and didn’t like them” or my personal favorite, “I was going to try them until I saw the needles, I don’t do needles man.” Granted much like Big Head Barry’s ever growing head, the videos below featuring Timbaland and 50 Cent (who allegedly used the pseudonym Michael Jordan to obtain his HGH) pretty much speak for themselves:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XV

Quote of the Week: Is that The Office? Have you ever seen it? It’s so good. Actually, I don’t know if you would really like it. It’s very talky. (Shelley, Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: City of Blinding Light - U2 (Barack Obama Campaign Theme Song)

Big News of the Week: Networks Bringing Back Long Forgotten Reality Shows: This past week saw the return of American Gladiators and the strike may have giving a returning The Apprentice a stay of execution. But it looks like they will have company in the “wait, why are they bringing that back” category. ABC is resurrecting both The Mole, last seen in 2004, and The Bachelorette, not seen since 2005. And apparently there is something called MyNetwork TV that is resurrecting Paradise Hotel (2003) and Meet My Folks (2002). Granted if really were my network they would be bringing back Veronica Mars, Wonderfalls and Arrested Development. Or at least watchable reality shows like Project Greenlight or Rich Girls (remember the MTV show with Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter? No? Am I the only one who watched?). But even with all this crappy reality television hitting the airwaves, I still want the strike to continue indefinitely because once it ends, someone is going to write The A-Team: The Movie starring Ice Cube. I wish I were joking.

In scripted news, my sources (no seriously, I have sources) tell me that Battlestar Galactica will be returning April 4th with ten new episodes. In other Sci-Fi Channel news, a new season of Ghost Hunters returns March 5th at 9:00.


Coalition Links of the Week:

Buzz celebrated pop culture prom week. (BuzzSugar)
Sandie interviewed April Matson, who plays Lori Trager on ABC Family's Kyle XY. (Daemon's TV)
Liz finally got around to watching (and inevitably falling in love with) Dexter. (Glowy Box)
Think your job is bad sometimes? Marcia listed the worst workplaces on television. (Pop Vultures)
Four years, six months, and two days later Rae falls for One Tree Hill again. (RTVW)
Vance preferred Cashmere Mafia over Lipstick Jungle but both are inferior replacements to the strike affected favorites currently ending by default. (Tapeworthy
Jace's fiancee, the future Mrs. Televisionary, offers up reasons why Jace should XOXO Gossip Girl. (Televisionary)
Dan's reflections on Project Runway include: Victorya is no Chloe and Kevin's ouster was unjust. (TiFaux)
Jennifer was beyond "psyched" to chat with the boys of Psych. (Tube Talk)
Kate calculated odds for who will be the next Bachelorette. (TV Filter)
Daniel attended the Launch Party for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and was thrilled to meet one of the stars from the show responsible for his unhealthy television addiction (theTVaddict)


New Hampshire Primaries: With the writer’s strike there really isn’t much to watch in primetime that all these debates and results. Granted there hasn’t been anything on network television on Tuesdays since Veronica Mars unceremoniously ended. But anyways. Tuesday’s results were a classic case of good new/bad new. The good being John McCain destroying Mitt Romney with Rudy Giuliani pulling in Ron Paul type numbers. The horribly bad was Hilary Clinton somehow managing to pull out a win.

How she won was the talk of all the pundits this week, more so on how the poll got it so wrong, they typically blamed those being polled on lying or pollsters leaving before the polls closed. But no one I have seen has pointed out the two most likely causes. First, polls are not perfect. Let me give you a little statistics lesson: when you see a poll that says it has a margin off error of ±5% that means that there is 90% chance that the true number is within five more or less than the percentage. That means there is a 10% chance that it isn’t. And it is not like New Hampshire is the first time exit polls have been proven wrong, anyone remember Florida 2000?

With that said, something seems extremely fishy, as much as I hate polls, I have never seen a 15% swing like we had this week and someone should be looking into the votes being rigged, a more likely result than the polls being this wrong. The mainstream media has completely dropped the ball on this one. Of course maybe the Clinton momentum will be slowed down after her statements about Martin Luther King Jr. this past week because they were racist simple and plain (mother (expletive deleted) her and John Wayne) and showed to the whole world that Hilary Clinton Doesn’t Care About Black Puppets.

Just some insight into the 57 Channels segments, I typically write my thoughts that night or the following day about the shows. The above was written Wednesday and then Friday saw this headline: Kucinich asks for New Hampshire recount. In the article resident nutjob Dennis Kucinich said there were significant differences in districts that hand counted, that favored Barack Obama, and the machine ones that went to Clinton. Not so coincidentally there have been recent reports on how easily the voting machines can be hacked into.


My Name Is Earl: Nothing like a Christmas episode in January. Seriously, NBC couldn’t cram this in last year but replacing a The Office repeat? But anyways. It is nice to see evil Earl every once in a while. But I really hope the chick from Who’s the Boss doesn’t stick around too long. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.


Republican South Carolina Debates: Wow that was boring. It is getting to the point that I know exactly how a candidate will answer once I heard the questions because they just keep on repeating the same thing. I think for the next couple debates I am going to start a new drinking game, whenever a Republican mentions Regan or a Democrat mentions change, take a shot. Take a double whenever Giuliani mentions 9/11 or Clinton says something racist.


Friday Night Lights: An odd week this week. The main storyline of the sister in law imposing seemed to be off. She was asked to move in to help with Gracie and the last two weeks they tried to portray her as someone who just showed up looking for a place to stay for a couple weeks. The Smash and the recruiters came back out of the blue after not talking about it for a while. And I have to cringe whenever they even hint at the meth dude. It was also interesting that Landry’s dad got more screen time than Landry got. And when did he become so tight with Buddy that they are sitting next to each other at the game? Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.


For the observant people, you may have notice the ad on the sidbar offering free Lost recap and preview videos through iTunes. For those that missed it, click the banner below to get your free videos:



Promo of the Week: Ask a regular person on the street how many Bring it On movies there are and I doubt you will find many who will say more than one. Yet the frachinse is on its fourth already. They lucked out on three by having the cheerleader from Heroes in what I think was the last film she filmed before landing the role of Claire. No such luck in the latest instalment as the closest thing to a star is the sister of one of the chicks from High School Musical. For those that are interesting of watching all four movies in a row, ABC Family is having a Bring it On a Thon next Sunday, January 20th capping off at 8:00 the most recent one Bring it On: In it to Win It. Here’s a promo:



Next Week’s Pick: Kyle XY, Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family: You can read my thoughts on the episode here: Previewing Kyle XY and of course you still have a couple days to enter the Contest to Win Kyle XY Season 1 DVD.