Tuesday, March 13, 2007

We on Award Tour: 2007 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony


Yesterday when I was talking about all the great events that happen in the middle of March I left out one very important even, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. You may not agree with some of the inductees, but undeniably you will get some unforgettable, sometimes surreal, performances and this year was no exception. Well the biggest exception is that for the first time ever you could watch the ceremony live on either VH1 Classic, which re-airs the whole thing in its entirety this Friday at 8:00 or stream over at AOL.com where you can currently stream the event on demand. For those that don’t have the time to devote the four hours to the show can watch the usual VH1 butchered show this Saturday at 9:00, because who doesn’t want to spend St. Patrick’s Day in front of the television. Now onto my thoughts:

- Of course the show is emanating from New York City instead of the actual Hall, here in Northeast Ohio. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

- The show starts off with Jann Winner of Rolling Stone talking about one of the co-founders of the Hall who passed and get a proper tribute of the guy from two time inductee Stephen Stills as well as a performance by Aretha Franklin for some reason. We also get your token In Memoriam package which obviously goes beyond just those inducted as they included the dude from Molly Hatchet. But why was a roadie for the Grateful Dead included?

- The first inductees were The Ronettes. A little before my time as I mainly associate them for contributing a song to the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack and one of them did a song with Eddie Money, who got a shout out. One person that didn’t get a shout out was their producer Phil Spector who they went out of their way to not mention. Making that even odder was after they performed Paul Shaffer read a note from Spector, who is rumored to be the reason the group hadn’t been inducted yet, congratulating them. Only at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Well maybe until Big Head Barry gets inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

- One thing we don’t get to see is on the edited telecasts is the intermissions in between induction. The first is a montage of memorable moments from past induction, the best part are the estranged moments of band members that probably haven’t spoke to each other since they broke up. Other intermissions are filled with individual performances which one being one of my personal favorite from 2004 with the all-star jam for While My Guitar Gently Weeps featuring a rancorous solo by Prince who ended it with throwing his guitar behind him then just walks off stage. Can we induct Prince every year? C’mon, you can at least put him in with The Revolution and The New Power Generation.

- Holy Zach del la Rocha sighting! Dude been in an Axl Rose type hibernation since breaking up Rage Against the Machine. And it looks like during the interim he has been growing one silly afro. He’s there to induct Patti Smith, another artist I never really got into. The only Smith story I have was I once gave a presentation on racism in popular culture and played her song Rock and Roll (Expletive Deleted) during it. And wouldn’t you know she played that very song saying it was her mom’s favorite song to vacuum to. If only there were a camera on the Rev. Al Sharpton when the chorus kicked in as I would have liked to see his reaction.

- Speaking of Sharpton he was there to once again to eulogized inaugural Hall of Fame inductee, James Brown. Luckily a Christina Aguilera tribute didn’t follow. I would have liked an actual musician to have done thins instead of Sharpton milking his friendship of Brown yet again. But anyways.

Van Hagar in the house- The moment that everyone has been waiting for of course failed to live up to the hype. I’m speaking of the Van Halen induction that didn’t actually feature either of the band’s namesakes and more surprisingly absent was David Lee Roth who is never one to turn down a public appearance. According to Scott Weiland, whose Velvet Revolver inducted the band as well as handled the performance, invited Roth to sing one of their earlier songs, but balked when the band wouldn’t agree to perform Jump because of that whole, they don’t have a keyboard player thing. Almost as surprising is they actually let Sammy Hagar perform backed by booted bassist Michael Anthony, who actually gave a shout out to Gary Cherone during his acceptance speech, and Paul Shaffer and the CBS Hall of Fame Orchestra. Nice to have the two members currently not in the band are the only ones to actually show up.

- Jay-Z is up next to induct Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Oddly for a guy who is highly touted for never writing down his lyrics, Jay never looked up while reading his speech, from his Blackberry. I like how Mele Mel called out the younger generation during his speech, although it will undoubtedly fall on deaf ears as the new generation can’t hear anything with their massive diamond earrings in their ears. Great performance too adding some theater to the program but I wish they would have spent longer on each song instead of jumping around.

R.E.M.- Last in this year are R.E.M. who get the induction treatment from Eddie Vedder who correctly calls out Mike Mills for hid Elvis type suits in the mid-nineties. I’m sure many of the longtime readers may wonder what my favorite song of all-time in, and you are likely to get a different answer at different times you ask, but one song that comes up quite frequently is the band’s Nightswimming. R.E.M. is also one of the few bands that I’ve created a personal Best of CD for my collection, which I will certainly share the track with everyone one of these days. I was a little disappointed with the band’s song selection as I would have like them to focus on their nineties work aside from Vedder joining them for Man on the Moon.

Eddie Vedder and Keith Richards- The show ends with a couple of collaborations with Smith joining R.E.M. for I Wanna Be Your Dog, a jab at the Hall for not letting The Stooges in yet. That was followed by most of the inductees and inductor (Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5 were conspicuously absent although one of the guys who was in their performance was bouncing around) closing the show with Smith’s People Have the Power.

- Tune in late this year to see if acts like Beatie Boys, Metallica, Sting, Madonna, or Janet Jackson can get in with their first year of eligibility or if multiple finalist like The Stooges or the Dave Clark Five finally get in.

Monday, March 12, 2007

It's March Madness Baby! 2007 Edition


It's my favorite time of the year, St. Patrick's Day, my birthday, Peeps (during the occasional March Easter), spring training, Shamrock Shakes, and most importantly March Madness. One of my very first ever posts was the rules to follow, a year where I had my best finish ever (check out: It’s March Madness Baby!) I’m a little worried about this year because I’m breaking three of my rules: Rule 2: Never Beat on the Big 10 (I have both Ohio St. and Wisconsin going to the Sweet 16); Rule 3: Duke Always Makes it to the Sweet 16 (I have them out in the second round, granted if I were a man I’d bounce them in the first round); Rule 4: The MAC Is Always Good for a Win (I have Miami losing to Oregon in the first round).

Speaking of the MAC, how sad is it to lose on a last second banked three? I guess that is for the best because seeing Akron in March Madness could be one of the signs of the apocalypse. Seriously, how long has it been Zips? As a whole it wasn’t a good year for mid-majors with only six at large bids, the lowest number in years. So much for the George Mason run from last year helping them out. This is a shame, because the first weekend is much more exciting watching Cinderellas win a couple of games than see the sixth and seventh teams in from the ACC inevitability lose and most likely lose big. Oh well, here are my picks:

St. Louis
Finals: Florida (1) vs. Oregon (3)
Upset Special: Old Dominion (12)

San Jose
Finals: UCLA (2) vs. Southern Illinois (4)
Upset Special: Gonzaga (10)

East Rutherford
Finals: Georgetown (2) vs. Texas (4)
Upset Special: Texas Tech (10)

San Antonio
Ohio St. (1) vs. Memphis (2)
Upset Special: Long Beach St. (12)

Final Four
Florida over UCLA
Memphis over Texas

Finals
Memphis over Florida (75-72)

Aside from March Madness, the month sees the second best sports moment of the year, fantasy baseball draft. If you would like to join one of my leagues (I’m running both an NL Only and Full leagues), shout me a holla, my e-mail’s on my Blogger Profile page or just leave a comment. Drafts are on the next Tuesday and the one after that.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. X


Quote of the Week: My father isn’t a racist, he is just stupid. (Stan, South Park)

Song of the Week: It would have been Summergirls by LFO as sung by Gary on Knights of Prosperity but that episode didn’t air without any warning instead replaced by a repeat of According to Jim which leads us to:

Big News of the Week: ABC: The new Fox. In a move that really didn’t shock anyone, ABC pulled the funniest new show of the season, Let’s Rob Mick Jagger, off their schedule. What stings more is that the less funny and lower rated In Case of Emergency remains on the air which screams they are doing so because they know they will get more out of DVD revenue if it full of never before seen episodes. Surely these are moves that would make the Fox executives proud. And it is moves like this that may make me considering boycotting the network much like my boycott of the evil empire.

Okay that ban may wait because ABC has a long way to get to the quantity of great shows Fox canned before the series hit the double digits numbers of episodes (by my count there was The Lone Gunmen, Undeclared, Firefly, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Keen Eddie, Wonderfalls, The Jury, The Inside, Point Pleasant, Reunion, umm, did I miss anything?). ABC says that the show is not canceled, but it wouldn’t be the first time a network has said this before only for the show never to be seen before. Although if ABC brings it back and gives it the post-Dancing with Has Been’s and Never Were’s all will be forgiven. Maybe.

Granted in the perfect world, NBC would pick up the show and plant it in-between My Name Is Earl and The Office (which would be a much better fit for the show than in-between According to Jim and The George Lopez Show), but the TV Gods hate me so that will never happen. Want to see why I’m so upset, ABC still has (as I write this) all the episodes available for streaming over at ABC.com.


Heroes: With the debut of new heroes, Shape Shifting Chick, I realized my biggest problem with the show, I like the secondary heroes more than the main ones, If they dump Thought Hearing Guy, Multiple Personality Chick, Osmosis Dude, Future Paining Guy for the Invisible Man, Nuclear Guy, Internet Girl, and Shape Shifting Chick the show would be much better. Speaking of Osmosis dude, please, please, please let him be dead. Unfortunately this will most be how he got the scar Future Hiro was talking about.

I’m also beginning to think Ando is the real star of the Japanese tandem. Although I get a feeling that Ando is working more for Sulu to keep taps on Hiro and before the end of the season and will pull some WWF style heel turn by hitting him in the back with a steel chair after ripping off his shirt to reveal another one underneath that read “I (Heart) Sulu, But Only in a Platonic Way.” With the show going on hiatus, we got a bunch of big reveals and cliffhangers, aside from Peter’s haircut and Mohinder on the ceiling; we finally got a glance of Linderman. It was nice that the character was played more low keyed as opposed to some comic book villain. But we were only left with more question about the guy like what exactly does he know and how does he know it.

The other big reveal was that mama Petrelli and the Haitian were in cahoots. I always thought that she knew more than she let on but I never saw that coming. And much like Linderman, we were left wondering what exactly does she know and how does she know it. Anyway, after a bumpy start, Heroes is finnaly kicking into high gear. Now let’s hope that Peter doesn’t make it to the next episode. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.

Heroes on iTunes


Australia’s Next Top Model: after seeing the premiere episode I know now how important Mr. and Ms. Jay are to the American version because the show is just boring without them. What worse is I happened upon the winner making me care even less about this version.

America's Next Top Model on iTunes


Lost: Yet another boring flashback - Sayid regrets his time in the Republican National Guard, we et it, move on - as least the island story was a good one. Surprisingly even though they just teased a couple of episodes ago, we actually got to meet the eye patch dude this week. Somehow Sayid know he’s an Other and there was another Other there which led to the surprising death of the black chick. What exactly is so big going on that the two are willing to kill themselves instead of taken capture. And if the war between Dharma and the Others is true, how did the original hatch workers survive without being wiped out by the Others? Did the Others let them be because they new the button needed to be pushed but didn’t want to do themselves? Next week we are promised a “surprise connection” between two survivors. Well unless it is Jack and Claire being half-siblings as that won’t be too surprising since I predicted it back in May of last year (see: Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 15). Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.

Lost on iTunes


Survivor: The one tribe continued its winning streak, yawn. At least they are switching up the tribes next episode. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.

Survivor on iTunes



Promo of the Week: Wondering how I knew that Summergirls would have been on Knights of Prosperity? Well depite being taken off the air, Eugene Gerkin is still updating to his YouTube channel. Here’s is that video of Gary singing the song:



Pick of the Week: March Madness, Thursday 12:00, CBS. The greatest two days of the year, from noon until midnight we get the first round of the NCAA tournament where most brackets are won or busted. The brackets are announced later tonight and be sure to check back tomorrow as I share my initial picks.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

How’d I Get Stuck in this Dead End Job when I Can Rap?


Don't Quit Your Day Job - Consequence

It seems like anyone who sells over a million records these days gets their own record company. Seriously, do we really need to hear music hand picked by the dude from Fall Out Boy? Despite some high profile failures, the Beastie Boy’s Grand Royal comes to mind, record companies still hand out imprints to young artists but every once in a while an artist led label can be a success, most recently Kanye West whose G.O.O.D. Music (Getting Out Our Dreams) label going three for three with two releases by John Legend and Common, whose breakout album Be was released on the label.

The latest Kanye endorsed artist is Consequence who was featured on both of West’s album. But long before hooking up with the current carrier of the backpack rapper torch, Consequence hung out with the originators of that scene, A Tribe Called Quest (Q-Tip and Consequence are cousins), showing up on over half of the tracks of Beats, Rhymes, and Life. What he did in the eight years during the interim? I’m not entirely sure, but if his debut album is any indication he was struggling with getting a day job and following his dream of becoming a rapper.

In fact Don’t Quit Your Day Job sounds like Spaceship from The College Dropout expanded into a concept album. The album starts out with a jobless Consequence and his nagging mother, who was voiced by a horrible voice actress and really takes away from a skit whenever she appears, not that I’m a fan of rap skits in the first place. In the middle, Consequence deviates from struggling rapper theme to a trio of songs about girls, including the unfortunate first single Callin’ Me, that just fall flat.

Near the end of the album is the completely out of place Grammy Family, a failed single from last summer that was originally featured on the DJ Khaled mixtape and with Kanye West and John Legend, Consequence is ironically the only one on the track sans Grammy. Those two show up elsewhere on the album, West on The Good, the Bad, the Ugly which could have been the best song on the album if it weren’t for the weak hook. While Legend shows up Feel This Way and features the pianist so much they might have gave him top billing on the song. But with such a high pedigree and some help from some heavy hitters, the album just doesn’t live up to its potential.

Song to Download - Job Song

Don’t Quit Your Day Job gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.



Friday, March 09, 2007

In or Out: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Edition vol. 3


Next Monday the latest crop of inductees are getting a spot reserved at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in honor of that, AOL has a list of twenty-five potential future inductees from the late eighties and nineties for people to vote on. Oddly when I voted, each and every artist had a no vote. Here is the last of three posts, ten each post. I’ll have two different ways of deciding. First whether they will actually get in and if I had a vote, would I vote that artist in. Like I said, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction is next Monday and for the very first time (at least that I’m aware of) VH1 Classic will be covering it live starting at 8:30. You can also catch VH1’s usually butcher cut down version the following Saturday at 9:00. Now onto the list:

(Check out vol. 1)
(Check out vol. 2)

Joan Jett (already eligible)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

Every once in a while the Hall likes to induct artist solely on the strength of one song, most recently with Percy Sledge. Joan Jett could definitely fall into this with I Love Rock and Roll. The thing with Jett is that if you look at her whole career, with the Runaways and the Blackhearts, she may be Hall worthy, but either individual band or she by herself is not and unfortunately, the Hall doesn’t induct people for their involvement with other groups.


Nine Inch Nails (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

I never got on the NIN bandwagon, much too electronic for my taste. As for the Hall, the group really only had two hit albums, not really screaming Hall worth. Although Trent Resnor may be able to sneak in because he was pretty innovative at the time being the first electronic hard rock outfit.


Alanis Morissette (eligible 2020)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

I guess she was included because she has the highest selling debut album ever. But if you look at who she took the title from, Hootie and the Blowfish and Boston, you have a band that won’t likely get in (although I’d vote for Hootie) and a band that has been eligible for a while without even being making it to the nomination phase. Plus she was a one trick pony as a token angry chick that has fallen into obscurity after getting over her anger issues.


Oasis (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

A lock for the UK Hall of Fame but unless the band has a late career resurgence but just doesn’t have the resume to get in stateside. They only had two relevant albums here, both of which had some missteps. Everything since has been for the most part rightfully ignored although you can find some gems in their later catalogues like the sorely overlooked Stop Crying Your Heart Out.


Destiny’s Child (eligible 2023)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Plenty of great songs by the group but their first three albums were spotty after the single and their last album was absolutely horrible. And that may be their last album with Beyoncé focusing on her solo and acting career. Well until they both wane and the girls get back for the inevitable reunion tour. But as is, the group is far from being Hall worthy.


So those were the twenty-five artist that were mentioned in the AOL list. Next are five artists that didn’t make that list but are worth discussing. The first two were purposed by Russ while the last three are groups that I wanted to bring up.

Soundgarden (eligible 2013)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

The Hall, much as time has been, will not be kind to the Grunge era. Nirvana is in, Pearl Jam barely gets in, but I doubt another Grunge era band gets inducted wether it is deserved or not. Yeah, Soundgarden was one of the few bands from the era that successfully transitioned in the post-grunge, alternative phase and I much perfered Superunknown and Down on the Upside opposed to the rest of their catalogued but if I were to vote for a third band from the Grunge era, I would give it to Alice in Chains.


Smashing Pumpkins (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Speaking of that the post-grunge alternative years, arguable there wasn’t a bigger band during that time that the Smashing Pumpkins. That should be enough to get the Pumpkins into the Hall and possible a fist ballot vote despite, like most double albums, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness would have been better as a single disk and they turned into a rock and roll clichĂ© when a touring band member overdosed while in the company of the drummer.


Dave Matthews Band (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

The biggest touring band of our era, two classic albums (Under the Table and Dreaming, Before These Crowded Streets) and even their worst album (Everyday) is still listenable. The Hall doesn’t seem to like the jam bands aside from The Greatful Dead, which doesn’t look good for the chances for Phish, but Dave and the boys should get in.


Sarah McLachlan (eligible 2014)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

McLaughlin will most like get in solely because of Lilith Fair but the music part of her is definitely there too. Sometime she is an afterthought because she does take a while between albums but is versatile going from an angelic song like, well, Angel yet can be very haunting like on Possession.


Public Enemy (eligible 2012)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Forget a second about Flavor Flav’s recent reality television exploits, because PE were one of the most influential rap groups of the late eighties with two album that any hip-hop fan should be ashamed not to have (It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, Fear of a Black Planet). I’ve said this many times before talking about potential inductees, but we cannot easily predicted rappers odds on getting in until we see hoe they treat the first wave, but it would be egregious not to have PE in. Plus who doesn’t want to see a Flavor Flav on the wrong side of fifty on stage one more time?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Don't Download These Videos vol. XI Kanye West Edition


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately and they all happened to be from Kanye West. So I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Classic - Kanye West, Rakim, Nas, and KRS-One



Holy KRS-One sighting! But it may not been a good idea for Kanye to sandwich himself between the Rakim and Nas as it only amplifies his deficiencies as an MC. Although it is nice to see DJ Premier of Gangstarr fame get back to producing rap records after taking time out to helm the latest Christina Aguilera record.


Wouldn’t Get Far - The Game and Kanye West




I’ve never been a big fan of The Game (or is it juat Game, I’ve never figured that out), the only song off his first album that was any good was the Kanye produced Dream and once again on his sophomore outing the Kanye produced Wouldn’t Get Far is the best off of it and he was smart enough to get Kanye to spit a verse to make it even more listenable. As for the video, it a funny spoof, although take out the intro, it basically your token rap video. For a better spoof, check out The Roots What They Do which sadly even being almost a decade old, still hold up for today’s videos. And was that Hoopz from Flavor of Love in the video?


Throw Some D’s - Rich Boy (not safe for work)



Speaking of token rap videos, before I get into the last Kanye video, I have to set some things up by showing this video. Yeah it is your token rap song that sounds like virtually every other rap song recorded this decade with an interchangeable rapper (don’t try to differentiate Rich Boy from Yong Joc, Nitty, J-Kwon, T.I., Mums, Jibbs, etc.) rapping about materialist things like cars. Now I’m not entirely sure what the “D’s” he speaks of (rims?) but…


Throw Some D’s (Remix) - Kanye West (Not safe for work or for anyone with a high moral standing)



… I certainly know which “D’s” Kanye is talking about. Now the title say remix, but let’s be real, this is a parody straight out of “Weird Al” territory. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But I doubt Al would ever write a line like, “She ain’t pregnant but about to have twins.” And I wonder how many times the shout out in the song will send Brittany in and out of rehab. (Scooter’s Note: this video is for humorous purposes only and neither he nor anyone at the 9th Green condones buying breast implants, in fact as the religious people we are, we much prefer the God made breast as opposed to the man made ones.)

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

In or Out: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Edition vol. 2


Next Monday the latest crop of inductees are getting a spot reserved at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in honor of that, AOL has a list of twenty-five potential future inductees from the late eighties and nineties for people to vote on. Oddly when I voted, each and every artist had a no vote. Here is the second of third posts, ten each post. I’ll have two different ways of deciding. First whether they will actually get in and if I had a vote, would I vote that artist in. Since that only leaves five for the last post, going to add some of my favorite artists not included on their list. Also, if you would like me to dissect your favorite artist, leave a comment and I’ll whip up their odds of getting. Like I said, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction is next Monday and for the very first time (at least that I’m aware of) VH1 Classic will be covering it live starting at 8:30. You can also catch VH1’s usually butcher cut down version the following Saturday at 9:00. Now onto the list:

(Check out vol. 1)
(Check out vol. 3)

Beck (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Same boat as Radiohead where the critical success hasn’t quite translated to mass appeal. But at least Beck had more legitimate follow-up hits to actually break him out of one hit wonderdom.


Sheryl Crow (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Started out a Grammy-darling with plenty of good songs but good songs don’t get you into the Hall. You need great albums to get in, something she lacks.


Green Day (eligible 2016)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

I was never of fan of their pop-punk beginnings so I knock off points for that. But that is not to say if they keep on releasing more albums like American Idiot, I could have my mind changed in the future. But as of now, one great album does a hall of famer make unless it is an instant classic which American Idiot wasn’t.


Eminem (eligible 2024)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

Again, Eminem is the same as Jay-Z in that he has to wait on how the Hall looks at rappers. But he has the critical and commercial success so far that voters like. Also since he made noise in the late 90’s/early 00’s, the Hall will need to induct someone during that era because you can’t let Limp Bizkit or Jennifer Lopez in. Personally he has some great song but he limits himself at times by pandering to his audience, watering songs that will play well with teenage white girls which weighs heavy on my vote.


Pearl Jam (eligible 2016)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

I’m not sure if the Hall will be all that nice to the grunge era after Nirvana, who is a lock. But despite a mid-nineties drop-off, I have a feeling Pearl Jam has enough to get in as their first three albums are undeniable and should be in everyone’s collection. Plus their extracurricular activities such as their war against Ticketmaster and their many political statements will help their cause.


Beastie Boys (eligible 2011)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Like I’ve said before that we don’t know how the Hall will react to rap artists but with that said, either way Run-DMC and Tupac are locks and add the Beastie Boys to that list as they are one of the rare rap acts that can crossover to rock fans. With two classic albums along with four great ones, their induction is a lock, but look for the boys to add to that this year as it looks like we will get a new album later this year.


Mary J. Blige (eligible 2017)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

This is a hard one. Mary has had a few great songs throughout the years as well as appeared on others, but much like Sheryl Crow, she is missing that classic album. Unlike Crow, Mary could still have one in her which will boost her resume to the point of getting in. Granted she has already performed with so many artist already in, which may be enough with some voters already.


The White Stripes (eligible 2025)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

It’s just too early to call this one yet. Fell in Love with a Girl was such a breath of fresh air back in 2002 when teen pop was destroying music but a few great albums isn’t enough to get you in. Ask me again in a couple months and I may change this to a yes as Jack White said an album is finished and will be released as soon as the machine will let it out. This album may be the one to put the band over the hump. Then maybe White can focus on getting The Raconteurs Hall worthy.


R. Kelly (eligible 2017)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Here some news that may hurt the rumors that I’m a musical snob: Not only do I own one R. Kelly Album, I actually own two (12 Play, R. Kelly) and I will definitely grab the Trapped in the Closet DVD whenever R gets around to releasing the final chapters. With that said and even if I disregard the whole “other” video, I don’t think Kelly is Hall worthy. Now if you can guarantee me that Dave Chappelle inducts him, maybe I’ll change that to a yes vote. If you can't firgure out why I would want to see Chappelle to induct R. Kelly, check out this very not safe for work video.


Mötley CrĂ¼e (already eligible)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Again, is this a joke, right? If you let the Crue in, it opens a Pandora’s Box of hair bands like Bon Jovi, Poison and Warrant and then the hall loses all credibility.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

In or Out: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Edition vol. 1


Next Monday the latest crop of inductees are getting a spot reserved at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in honor of that, AOL has a list of twenty-five potential future inductees from the late eighties and nineties for people to vote on. Oddly when I voted, each and every artist had a no vote. So over three (not necessarily consecutive) posts I’m going to break down their list, ten each post. I’ll have two different ways of deciding. First whether they will actually get in and if I had a vote, would I vote that artist in. Since that only leaves five for the last post, going to add some of my favorite artists not included on their list. Also, if you would like me to dissect your favorite artist, leave a comment and I’ll whip up their odds of getting. Like I said, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction is next Monday and for the very first time (at least that I’m aware of) VH1 Classic will be covering it live starting at 8:30. You can also catch VH1’s usually butcher cut down version the following Saturday at 9:00. Now onto the list:

(Check out vol. 2)
(Check out vol. 3)

Mariah Carey (eligible 2015)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Sure she slipped a little in recent years but there was no bigger artist from the nineties, selling more albums ever than any other female artist, three of which were bought by me (Music Box, Daydream, Honey). Plus do you think the Basketball Hall of Fame think less of Michael Jordon for his stink with the Washington Wizards in his later years?


Gun N’ Roses (eligible 2012)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

Appetite for Destruction was a classic; there was a great album if you condensed Use Your Illusion into an album, but that’s it. The Hall does like a great story when the longevity isn’t there, but it doesn’t full. My vote could switch when (if) Chinese Democracy is released and actually lives up to the hype, but I really doubt that will happen.


Jay-Z (eligible 2021)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

It’s hard to judge whether Jay-Z will get in because we have yet to see how the Hall will treat rappers. Grandmaster Flash got in this year after a few tears being on the ballet, I’m sure Run-DMC and Tupac are locks but after that everyone is questionable. The biggest litmus test for rappers like Jay-Z will be when LL Cool J becomes eligible. If he gets in, you’ll see the Jay-Z’s of the world in, if not, you won’t see too many rappers get inducted. For me, Jay-Z is a guy who can make some classic songs, but not classic albums.


Madonna (eligible 2008)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

Mrs. Ritchie becomes eligible next year, but I doubt she will be a first ballot induction but will get in eventually because of her longevity and her influence on the next generation. I’d vote no because that influence gave us Britney Spears and look how that turned out.


Metallica (eligible 2008)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

It took forever for Black Sabbath to get in, but they eventually did last year. I’m sure Metallica will have the same type of battle but they are almost important to metal as a genre as anyone else no matter what you think of that tool Lars Ulrich for suing his fans. Don’t look for them to get in next year but look for them to get in by 2013, the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Black Album.


Radiohead (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

The only hope Radiohead has is if they continue to release critically acclaimed records up to their eligibility date because they are desperately lacking mainstream acceptance that most inductees have as most novice music fans probably still think of them as a one hit wonder.


Snoop Dogg (eligible 2017)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

I’m a huge Snoop Dogg guy, but there is no way he gets in barring a late career resurgence. There were just way too many sub-par albums in the late nineties. With that said, I would have no problem if he were to go into the Hall with Dr. Dre as a tandem, but when he doesn’t have Dre or the Neptunes with him, Snoop can rarely make a hot track.


Justin Timberlake (eligible 2027)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

This was a joke, right? Timberlake has about as good a chance of getting in as I do getting in as a rock journalist.


Björk (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: No
Would Get In: No

If this was the Music Video Hall of Fame maybe, but the music just doesn’t warrant it. I’d rather hear nails on a chalkboard which she sounds like.


Red Hot Chili Peppers (eligible 2009)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Not a first ballot vote, but here is a group who mastered rock-rap long before lesser bands destroyed the sub-gernre in the late nineties when the group caught their second wind with the return of John Frusciante and still are cranking out good albums.


That’s it for today, be sure look out for the second and third installments in the coming days and leave a comment if you want me to evaluate some of your favorite artists’ chances on getting in.

Monday, March 05, 2007

First Impressions: America’s Next Top Model Cycle 8


With Friday Night Lights and Let’s Rob Mick Jagger Kelly Ripa, on, I completely missed the premiere of America’s Next Top Model last week targe, but since The CW doesn’t have enough shows to fill its schedule I was able to watch the repeat on Sunday which is becoming a wasteland of television with nothing worth watching aside from those crappy VH1 reality shows. The show of course starts off with a couple cut downs as they get down to the final thirteen contestants.

Those that made it the first rounds of cuts go straight to Model Boot Camp mostly so it would give a chance for Mr. and Mrs. Jay to play dress up. And with ever subsequence season, I swear Mr. Jay’s hair is looking more and more like the material from Terminator 2. During the boot camp, Tyra Banks inexplicably shows up stepping (or as I like to call it since I’m in the know, stopping the yard) and much like the opening montage, as she does is some self-serving speechifying. That girl does love herself.

Then much like last season, this season goes downhill fast when the final cut leaves out the hottest chick in the running, but instead of wasting two spots for twins like last season, this year we get two spots reserved “Plus Sized” models. And Tyra seemed a little too proud of herself for having more “Plus Sized” models this season then ever before. C’mon, this isn’t Jackie Robinson; they are just future Celebrity Fit Club contestants. And I doubt that it’s a coincidence that the show has the most “Plus Sized” models in its history right after Trya went through her very public weight issues. Almost as puzzling is how the mail order bride got through. Seriously, read that last sentence again.

It sounds like I wasn’t the only one that thought this cast was poorly cast as at the final evaluation Tyra even admitted that this was the worst batch of pictures ever for a first photo shoot. The shoot dealt with controversial issues including one of the most divisive issues facing our nation today, Straight Marriage. Um, yeah, way to go out on a limb with that one guys, that’s really going to get under the skin of all those anti-straight marriage supporters out there. As for the first contest the girls had to put on a Goodwill fashion show for charity with a totally random Gia Goodman sighting. In the end someone go voted off. Okay, some predictions:

Renee without her kidWinner: Felicia
Backup Choice: Brittany Carrigher
Most Likely to Slap Someone: Natasha Galkina
Next to Go: Jaslene Gonzalez
Plus Sized Chick that Will Go Further: Whitney Cuttingham
Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex With: Renee DeWitt

Verdict: It is never a good sign when the hottest chick was one that just gave birth. Yeah, this crop is that unattractive. I’m not sure if this cycle is worth even catching on the inevitable VH1 marathon. But if you are already hooked be sure to check out number one fan Ducky every week where you can also find nude pictures of Jael Strauss. Duckyxdale, it where I go to find pictures of naked reality chicks. America’s Next Top Model is on Wednesdays at 8:00 on The CW with repeats Sundays at 9:00. You can also catch latest episodes on CWTV.com or download the episodes on iTunes. Can’t get enough of the show? Well Australia’s Next Top Model premieres tonight on VH1 at 10:00.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. IX


Quote of the Week: I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are. (Ronnie to Wallace, Veronica Mars)

Song of the Week: I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclamers (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: February sweeps are over and this week we are in the full swing of reruns. And with mid-season replacements like The Black Donnellys, The Search for the Next Talentless Singer Pussycat Doll, and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, there’s not much new to watch instead. Oh well, with only three and a half hours of television I’ll be watching this week should mean I’ll can catch up on my reading.

How I Met Your Mother: A heartbreaking episode that reminded me of when my high school car died and it’s falling ceiling, squeaky doors, how the back windows wouldn’t roll back up when someone rolled them down before I warned them not too, how the trunk would flood whenever it rained, and how my college roommate would blare Ode to My Car at absurd levels whenever he forced me to taxi him around. Actually come to think of it, I hated that car. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.

Everybody Hates Chris: I wonder if Billy Ocean watches this show and contemplates a comeback with all his references lately. Surely he’s good enough to get on Dancing with the Has Been’s and Never Were’s. Check out the latest episode on CWTV.com.

Apple iTunes


Heroes: Finally a episode where the show lives up to its potential. Not so coincidentally Peter and Nikki/Jessica and their family were nowhere to be found. You had the one two punch of Sulu somehow being involved with Primetech Paper, which makes you wonder how much he knows about his son, and the Invisible Man once being Mr. Bennett’s partner. But I wonder if what we saw was actually Bennett reminiscing or was an actual flashback because I was unclear as to if the Haitian cleared his mind of certain aspects of his relationship with him. Also unclear was who Julia Robert’s brother was and why he showed up at the Bennett’s or why he even shot radioactive man as I’m sure he should have had a clue as to what would happen if he did. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.

Heroes on iTunes


Friday Night Lights: I’m sure she won’t even get a nomination, but the coach’s wife has given two Emmy worthy performances in the past two weeks. Then you have Buddy going all Matlock on the Taylor’s notepad. But nothing this week beats Landry once again trying to hit on Tyra. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again, I really hope Tyra gets really drunk and gives Landry a ride. Or at the very least have her show up to a Stigmatlingous concert. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.

Friday Night Lights on iTunes


Lets Rob Mick Jagger Kelly Ripa: Ironically I hated Everybody Love Raymond but his guest spot on the show was great. But the architect DVD was priceless. Luckily it has shown up on YouTube, check out: Oswald Montecristo promo. Oh and don’t forget to checkout Rockafellar Butts Robbing Lenny Kravitz Song. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.

Survivor: You never, under any circumstance, give up immunity. Never. I really hope this comes back to bit that tribe. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.

Survivor on iTunes


Also check out the latest Toss Up between Lost and Veronica Mars.

Promo of the Week: Okay not exactly a promo per say but this is one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen in a while. And yes that is Chip Diller. Poor Chip, first he was part of the worst Easter Egg Hunt ever, now this:



Pick of the Week: Heroes, Monday, 9:00, NBC. After months of hearing his name, it looks as if we will get our first look at the mysterious Linderman. It’s pretty much a lock that he is the big boss behind Primtech Paper and Sulu’s company. Right?

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Toss Up: Christina Aguilera vs Avril Lavigne


It’s not all that uncommon to see the same themes throughout the entertainment industry. A couple summers ago there were competing asteroid destroying the Earth movies, this past year there were two television shows that dealt with backstage at a Saturday Night Live clone ironically on the same network. And last week, there was not one, but two music videos premieres that featured the singer as a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. Again the irony being that they are both on the same record label. So let’s fire up a game of Toss Up to see which video is better. First let’s take a look at the two videos:


Candyman - Christina Aguilera




Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne




To check out the videos on YouTube, click the bold links above the videos, to buy the songs, click on their names in the Toss Up below, also if you want to buy the Avril Lavigne video, click here. Now to the Toss Up:

Sounds Like
Christina Aguilera: Something from a World War II USO
Avril Lavigne: Something from an Ashlee Simpson album
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Looks Like
Christina Aguilera: A drag queen
Avril Lavigne: Christina circa 1999 with bad teeth
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Former Look
Christina Aguilera: A dirrty, dirrty girl
Avril Lavigne: A tie wearing pseudo punk
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Obscene Lyric
Christina Aguilera: He’s my one stop shop with a real big (expletive deleted)
Avril Lavigne: Don’t pretend that I think you know I’m (expletive deleted) precious and (expletive deleted) yeah I’m the (expletive deleted) princess
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Dance Sequence
Christina Aguilera: Something out of a gap commercial ten years ago
Avril Lavigne: Something from a Tony Basil video two decades ago
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Hang Out
Christina Aguilera: A malt shop
Avril Lavigne: A putt-putt golf course
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Song Promotes
Christina Aguilera: Monogamy
Avril Lavigne: Home wrecking
Winner: Christina Aguilera


Daring Fashion Choice
Christina Aguilera: The Aunt Jemima bandana
Avril Lavigne: Knee high striped socks with high heels
Winner: Avril Lavigne


YouTube Views (as of when I posted this)
Christina Aguilera: 23,416
Avril Lavigne: 146,852
Winner: Avril Lavigne


Husband
Christina Aguilera: Some random Jewish dude
Avril Lavigne: The dude from Sum41
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Blonde
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Brunette
Winner: Christina Aguilera


As a Redhead
Winner: Avril Lavigne


So there you have it, by the numbers, Christina Aguilera is your winner. Agree, disagree? That’s what the comment section is for. (Did I mention I recently got rid of the Word Verification? But I did make it so you cannot comment anonymously to combat spammers)

Friday, March 02, 2007

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 10


Where hard core fans continually blame repeats and direct competition with American Karaoke for the shrinking ratings and disinteresting episodes but after the last two weeks, ABC’s promo department is becoming a big problem for the show. Last week it promised three big mysteries revealed and most were struggling to figure out what exactly they were (tattoos, seriously?). Then this week there was something we couldn’t miss because there was something because everyone would be talking the next day. But most people were left asking the next day on what they should have been talking about. But on the other end of the spectrum, promos for Veronica Mars set the bar so low with disinteresting promises of more Ronnie and Logan drama that the actual episodes never fail to exceed expectations. Now it’s time for the last Toss Up between the two shows for two months thanks to the Search for the Next Talentless Singer replacing Veronica Mars over that time span, so let’s see how goes into the hiatus with a win:


Insult
Lost: “I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are”
Veronica Mars: “Red… Neck… Man”
Winner: Veronica Mars


Dead Chick
Lost: Tricia Tanaka got hit by a meteor
Veronica Mars: Mindy O’Dell was pushed overboard by here lover
Winner: Lost


Oscar Homage
Lost: The gang drives around in a VW bus just like in Little Miss Sunshine
Veronica Mars: Almost everyone dies just like in The Departed
Winner: Veronica Mars


Where Was
Lost: Libby, because it was a Hurley flashback
Veronica Mars: Dick, because, well, he’s Dick
Winner: Veronica Mars


Mode of Transportation
Lost: A wrecked Dharma bus
Veronica Mars: A boat bought with insurance money
Winner: Veronica Mars


From the 80’s
Lost: The dude from Cheech & Chong not named Chong
Veronica Mars: The dude from St. Elsewhere not named Denzel
Winner: Veronica Mars


All Alone
Lost: While Jin and Charlie had their significant others to talk to about all the excitement, Sawyer had no one to talk to about it
Veronica Mars: While Logan and Parker are getting friendlier, Ronnie is again spending her free time solving crimes
Winner: Veronica Mars


Teaming Up
Lost: Hurley got Jin, Charlie and Sawyer to get the van up and running
Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Not-Lucky teamed up to get Landry out of jail
Winner: Lost


Ending
Lost: Kate hunts down Rousseau to help rescue Jack
Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Keith watch the new during dinner
Winner: Lost


On the Internet
Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Tricia Tanaka Is Dead on iTunes
Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Papa's Cabin on iTunes


Okay, let’s get back to the promo I was talking about in the opening. What exactly were we supposed to be talking about? Was it the car they found? Was it that Charlie didn’t die? Was it the return of Rousseau? Those promos are really starting to be a detriment to the show. This lead to a rare boring Hurley-centric episode which is extra surprising considering not even Cheech could save it. And you guessed it, Hurley, much like everyone else on the island, has daddy issues. Yawn.

And like most Lost episodes, they save the only interesting part of the episode for last, which I presume is what we were supposed to be talking about with the return of Rousseau who wasn’t seen on screen for 355 days. Can we please get a Rousseau flashback now please? Her and Not-Henry are the really the only flashbacks I’m interested in right now. At this point I really don’t care how Locke got in the wheelchair. But being that this Lost I have a feeling it will take the rest of the season for them to find The Others home. Although, once again the promo looked good as it looks like they find One Eyed Willie. Let hope that the next episode actually lives up to the hype this time.


I already talked about the most recent episode of Veronica Mars which you can find here: I Like this Show, its Tawdry week 6. I finally got chance to watch it again and everything made much more sense the second time around. So if you are still confused by something, be sure to check the links above. For everyone else, below is a video of my favorite line from the episode. Is it May 1st yet?



Thursday, March 01, 2007

They Sit Side by Side in the Cantinas, Talk to Senoritas and Drink Warm Beer


The Refreshments - Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big & Buzzy

Like most accused pretentious music critics, I have that one band that no one has heard of and then get all uppity whenever someone has the audacity to say they have never heard of said band. For me it is The Refreshments. (Wait, you’ve never heard of The Refreshments? Loser.) The band had a modest hit, Banditos, back in the mid-nineties off the greatest drinking album ever Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big & Buzzy which is appropriately being inducted into the Scooter Hall of Fame during the month with the greatest drinking day of the year, St. Patrick’s Day.

Banditos is definitely the centerpiece on the album, but Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big & Buzzy has plenty of other catchy, south of the border tunes to fill the album out starting with the driving rocker Blue Collar Suicide. Every southern rock trick are scattered throughout the album and the boys even break out a mariachi band feel on Mexico. Even when the band slows down, it doesn’t miss a step like on Mekong which should be required to be on every jukebox in a down on your luck bar.

As great as the music is, it is the quotable lyrics that push the album into legendary status, some of which I still use frequently to this day. In fact, just the other day when someone tried to defend watching Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader by saying a lot of people watched it, I shot back, “as a wise man once said, ‘Everybody knows the world is full of stupid people.’” And you have to give it up to singer Roger Clyne who can turn clichĂ©d lines like, “What’s girl like you doing in a place like this?” which are scattered throughout the album, into something cool.

With all the tongue in cheek, and songs about beer and woman fun, The Refreshment cap the album with stellar Nada where they show off the serious rock side. The epic song is a great ending to the album which will make you reach for the repeat button. Unless of course you are going to switch the album out for the follow up, The Bottle and the Horse, a potential SHoF’er in its own right. Unfortunately these are the only two albums the band made before breaking up, but if these two albums leave you wanting more, be sure to check out former singer’s latest band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers.

In a side note to the band, I had the pleasure of seeing the band live when a buddy of mine drug me to one of those radio sponsored all day festivals to see No Doubt. The Refreshments were on the second stage and even though it was two years after the legendary Green Day mud fight at Woodstock ’94 goof balls were still digging up the turf after a long rain to pelt the bands and some moron actually knocked out the lead singer’s mike during Banditos without the dude even knowing so here’s the dude singing along even though no one could hear him. Aw, the good ol’ days when hooliganism was socially acceptable.



Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Like This Show, it’s Tawdry week 6


From the beginning of the latest arc on Veronica Mars, I was hoping they would switch thing from the usually, something dramatic happens to Veronica, Veronica does everything in her powers to bring the suspect down, when she does, it ends in a dramatic showdown when the suspect comes out of left field giving a Austin Powers type reveal of why he did it. And with that said the ending of the latest (last?) arc was satisfying. Was it the best arc finale? No. I’d even go as far as saying the episode wasn’t as good as last week’s stellar Mars Bars. If you missed Papa’s Cabin, be sure to stream it on CWTV.com or download it on iTunes. (Note: as I write this the episode has yet to be uploaded because The CW isn’t that good at being prompt at getting their latest episode out. It is usually up by late Thursday, so check back later if it is still not up.)

Come on Not-Lucky you can't pull one over RonnieThanks to The CW’s laziness, I haven’t gotten a chance to re-watch the episode, and I may have a better appreciation for this episode after a second viewing, catching some clues I missed the first time around. In fact I really need to go back and re-watch all the episodes in this arc especially the one where Ronnie finds out that Not-Lucky was looking into the Dean’s murder before it got out that it wasn’t a suicide. From the latest epidode, I wasn’t able to think of why Not-Lucky bothered to help Landry to get out jail by “finding” his alibi. And why didn’t Not-Lucky just let the Landry/Mindy relationship out of the bag knowing that it would bring Landry down. Or was Plan A hoping that Ronnie would do it for him when he put her on the trail and setting him up for the Dean’s murder was Plan B.

Poor MindyBut the actual reveal was great in that it was something. I hadn’t been looking at my clock, so I actually thought that the case was solved when they captured Landry, and it was definitely a fitting ending where he and Mindy both thought the other did it and later thought the other was trying to set the other one up for the fall. But you have to feel bad for the youngest O’Dell, his step-father is killed, then his father gets gunned down by the police, then his mother gets murdered by her lover. But back to the reveal, how fitting was that Ronnie is the one to explain the motive and execution to the culprit right in a criminology class? It was a great bookend to the first scene of the season where Vee showed up Not-Lucky with the Riverboat Mystery.

Start think of your best name mash-upsElsewhere Logan and Parker are hooking up. This could have been saved for the stand alone episodes but it did led to the great line where Ronnie told Wallace, “I’m trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are” when brought up the two were having lunch. And if I’m not mistaken, I thought that Parker was questionable about hanging out with Logan because she didn’t want to lose a friend like Vee, but when Logan broached the subject with Ronnie she said they aren’t that close. Mmm.

I will have more on this Friday after I watch the episode again when I have the last Toss Up for two months thanks to The Search for the New Talent less Singer Pussycat Doll. What’s sad is there was an ad for the show in the latest Rolling Stone (where’s the promotion for their scripted shows?) and I couldn’t tell you if the girls in the ad were actual Pussycat Dolls are contestants for the reality show. Two months is a long time for a new Veronica Mars, but they actually have a decent promo hyping its return. C’mon, how can you go wrong with Ronnie and a paintball gun? Also if you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the hilarious video of Kristen Bell and Chris Lowell interviewing each other.





Tuesday, February 27, 2007

It Is Not a Game People


During the Big in 2006 Awards, VH1 unveiled some of the new shows that they would be putting on the air early this year. They hyped the return of Hogan Knows Best, as well as spin-offs of Flavor of Love and The Surreal Life. But the most intriguing ad was for the new reality show, Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show. The show could have easily have been the best or worst reality show ever and luckily it was definitely more of the former. The show wasn’t your token, dudes singing karaoke kind of talent show, which is a good thing as none of the contestants could land a record contract on their own laurels unless they manage to marry a mentally unstable pop star (and for those looking for one, I have Hilary Duff in the office poll).

Instead of being solely a talent competition, the show relied on some of the silliest games for the contestants to play, my favorite being the ghetto version of Family Feud with topics like stereotypes that Black people secretly believe. And if you need for me to tell you want was number one on the board, obviously you have never met a black dude before. In between the silliness, there were more credible tasks, but these were only entertaining in how bad they were at trying to rap.

Overseeing the whole event was MC Serch, who was good for a laugh every time he showed up if only because they always flashed “Hip Hop Icon” on the screen whenever he appeared. I was a big 3rd Base fan back in the day, even bust out Derelicts of Dialects ever once and a while, but “Hip Hop Icon” he’s not. And he wasn’t the only old school cat to make an appearance as somehow Ego Trip rounded up other “Icons” such as Grandmaster Flash, Prince Paul (who helped judging every once in a while), Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys and whities Everlast and Kid Rock.

The contest came down $hamrock and the biggest goof of them all John Brown who would have gotten anyone massively drunk if they played a drinking game where they took a shot whenever he uttered the words, “King of the ‘Burbs,” “Ghetto Revival,” “ or Hallelujah Holla Back.” But a surprise happened on the way to the final as John Brown turned out to be the most solid performer throughout the show, and I never though I would say this when the show began, but John Brown got jobbed in the end when the judges declared $hamrock the next white hope. Controversy aside, the show is up there as one of the best reality seasons ever and hopefully VH1 brings it back soon than later. Or even switch things up and have a (Female) Rapper Show, (Asian) Rapper Show, or recruit Snow to be the host of The (Canadian) Rapper Show. If so, just make sure you bring back the giant cockroach.

Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show gets a Terror Alert Level on my Terror Alert Scale.