First Impressions: America’s Next Top Model Cycle 8

With Friday Night Lights and Let’s Rob Mick Jagger Kelly Ripa, on, I completely missed the premiere of America’s Next Top Model last week targe, but since The CW doesn’t have enough shows to fill its schedule I was able to watch the repeat on Sunday which is becoming a wasteland of television with nothing worth watching aside from those crappy VH1 reality shows. The show of course starts off with a couple cut downs as they get down to the final thirteen contestants.

Those that made it the first rounds of cuts go straight to Model Boot Camp mostly so it would give a chance for Mr. and Mrs. Jay to play dress up. And with ever subsequence season, I swear Mr. Jay’s hair is looking more and more like the material from Terminator 2. During the boot camp, Tyra Banks inexplicably shows up stepping (or as I like to call it since I’m in the know, stopping the yard) and much like the opening montage, as she does is some self-serving speechifying. That girl does love herself.

Then much like last season, this season goes downhill fast when the final cut leaves out the hottest chick in the running, but instead of wasting two spots for twins like last season, this year we get two spots reserved “Plus Sized” models. And Tyra seemed a little too proud of herself for having more “Plus Sized” models this season then ever before. C’mon, this isn’t Jackie Robinson; they are just future Celebrity Fit Club contestants. And I doubt that it’s a coincidence that the show has the most “Plus Sized” models in its history right after Trya went through her very public weight issues. Almost as puzzling is how the mail order bride got through. Seriously, read that last sentence again.

It sounds like I wasn’t the only one that thought this cast was poorly cast as at the final evaluation Tyra even admitted that this was the worst batch of pictures ever for a first photo shoot. The shoot dealt with controversial issues including one of the most divisive issues facing our nation today, Straight Marriage. Um, yeah, way to go out on a limb with that one guys, that’s really going to get under the skin of all those anti-straight marriage supporters out there. As for the first contest the girls had to put on a Goodwill fashion show for charity with a totally random Gia Goodman sighting. In the end someone go voted off. Okay, some predictions:

Winner: Felicia
Backup Choice: Brittany Carrigher
Most Likely to Slap Someone: Natasha Galkina
Next to Go: Jaslene Gonzalez
Plus Sized Chick that Will Go Further: Whitney Cuttingham
Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex With: Renee DeWitt

Verdict: It is never a good sign when the hottest chick was one that just gave birth. Yeah, this crop is that unattractive. I’m not sure if this cycle is worth even catching on the inevitable VH1 marathon. But if you are already hooked be sure to check out number one fan Ducky every week where you can also find nude pictures of Jael Strauss. Duckyxdale, it where I go to find pictures of naked reality chicks. America’s Next Top Model is on Wednesdays at 8:00 on The CW with repeats Sundays at 9:00. You can also catch latest episodes on CWTV.com or download the episodes on iTunes. Can’t get enough of the show? Well Australia’s Next Top Model premieres tonight on VH1 at 10:00.