I mentioned a while back that Kanye West’s remix (with Jay-Z) to the song Diamond (From Sierra Leone) and how it talked about the atrocities that happen just to bring your bling to the US (Throw Up Your Diamonds Like You’re Bulimic). If you haven’t read that already, I highly recommend it. Also if you were interesting to hear the song for yourself, the remix is now currently available on iTunes. I can’t recommend this song enough.
After week of doing insane stunk after insane stunt, Tom Cruise have finally did something of importance, he pissed off the French. It was reported recently the Cruise is no long welcome in the country. Welcome back to humanity Tom.
There was a lot of backlash with John McCain appearing in the R-rated movie, Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. One reporter even printed a title reading “Sen. McCain stars in ‘boob raunch fest.’” McCain responded by saying, “In Washington, I work with boobs everyday.” He even seemed more upset that he appeared in the same movie as James Carville than with a bunch of boobs. So all the prudes out there that think this is a bad thing, relax, and go see the movie because it’s hilarious. Not to mention, McCain gave his entire paycheck from the film to charity.
Speaking of boob raunch fest, it looks like Mike Tyson is looking at getting into porn. He has already contacted Jenna Jemison’s production company. Just when you think Tyson couldn’t get any more entertaining, he always seems to out do himself.
Much like me, it seems like the original Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard wants you to boycott the new movie. Now I think people should boycott the movie because it doesn’t star John Schneider and Tom Wopat. Cooter on the other hand doen’t want people to see it because Hollywood is sleezing up a “family show.” I was unaware that rasist imagry, short shorts, and dudes named Cooter qualify as family entertainment. Does he even know what Cooter means? But it looks like family values to Cooter (at right) is having girls that could be you daughter rub up against you.
It appears that Hilary 2008 is in full swing when the Senator attacked Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for having a hidden scene with a naked woman. So let me get this straight, in the Clinton household, dudes blowing each other up with rocket launchers – O.K. Naked pixilated women – bad.
Weird search of the week:
arab chick stereotypes forums (AOL)
Here are the results of the Live 8 Lyrics Quiz that were not guessed:
13. She couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis. (All Falls Down – Kanye West)
18. I can’t wait for the first time. My imagination is running wild. (You Don’t Know My Name – Alicia Keys)
20. You’re talking so much sex, but you’re not telling us about AIDS. (It Takes More – Ms. Dynamite)
23. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie. (Then She Bit Me – DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince)
Congratulations to Pure Mood for make the most correct answers (4). Since this was fairly successful, I will be bringing back a new lyrics quiz with a new theme on the 15th of every month. I have also put up a winner’s circle in the margin so be sure to come back each month (or just come back everyday) to try your hand at the new lyrics quiz.
A wise man once said
That, “A Change is Gonna Come”
Let’s prove Sam Cooke right.
The ladies over at Digitally Essential are holding a contest to win a free blog design. I do like the whole earth tone vibe the current template has, but recently, I had an idea to put a golf themed banner at the top and go with more of a grassy type background. I was also toying with the idea of adding another margin on the right side and I’ve also wanted proper headers for the sections in the margin. Unfortunately Haikus have never been my strength, as the contest requires. As my long time readers know, I tend to write quite lengthy entries so writing something that only has 17 syllables would not be easy for me. I thought about asking Mr. Slice, who has been churning out Haikus regularly recently. Then I realized one of my favorite sayings, “A wise man once said” was exactly 5 syllables, and one of my favorite songs, “A Change is Gonna Come” was 6, I figured the rest was easy, so I decided to though my hat into the ring. Contest ends tomorrow for anyone else who want to give it a try. I’m not sure how long the judges will deliberate, but if things go my way, you may see some extra maintained to the 9th green. Maybe I’ll even change the pin location, throw in a bunker, and try to Tiger-proof it too, not that it’s possible.
Riding the wave of the Garden State Soundtrack a year too late is Marjorie Fair. With its melodic beats and soothing voices, any song off their first album, Self Help Serenade, would have fit well in the Zach Braff film. The band also has a strong retro-pop vibe and at times on the album conjures up thoughts of breezy 70’s bands like Supertramp and Seals & Croft.
An album like this is very hard to review because it is so mellow, you just space out and it’s over before you know it. The group itself finds it hard to classify as lead singer, Evan Slamka tried to explain, “If I'm bored or doing some psycho-therapy on myself, I'll maybe look through the lens of the record and try to figure out what it's about, what it means.” I think I even zoned out when I first read that.
And like artist on the Garden State Soundtrack, a lot of the lyrics are introspective. On the stand out track, Empty Room, Slamka sings, “I don’t want to die young. But if I do, fill my empty room with the sun.” Even gloomier is Waves where he mourns, “The person I thought I was, is something that I don’t thing is coming true.” So if obsess over Garden State, Self Help Serenade is right up your alley.
Song to Download – Empty Room
Self Help Serenade gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
Today’s big new is that Northwestern Women’s Lacrosse team wore flip flops to the White House. Apparently the blow hards think this was disrespectful to the integrity of the building. But let’s be honest, the integrity of the White House has been ruined by the people who have inhabited it for the last 13 years. They have done more to discredit the honor of the White House more than any flip-flops could. It also seems appropriate that flip-flops would be worn in the White House (get it, flip flops and politicians, oh never mind). It’s also good to hear about articles of clothing in the White House that didn’t have, um, never mind, I won’t go there.
What I’m outraged about is when does winning the Women’s Lacrosse College National Championship warrant a visit to the White House? I guess the local T-ball champions should save up their allowances because it looks like anyone who has won anything can get a picture with the president as long as they have airfare to get to Washington. I mean it’s not like the guy is busy with wars, finding a new Supreme Court judge, White House leaks, hating gays, ignoring our borders, and social security. Wait, what happened to social security? Did that get scrapped?
But it looks like this story will have a happy ending. The offending players are planning to action off the infamous footwear with all the money raised going to a fund to help a 10 year old girl with a brain tumor.
ESPY Awards were on last night although if you have visited ESPN.com lately, then you were bombarded with articles about the winners, best dressed and all that goes with the awards since the awards show was actually last week sometimes. I really hate that not only are they not live, but they let out all the secrets before it airs and for those of us that don’t want anything spoiled, we have to be very careful at what we look at. But anyways, here are my highlights from the festivities:
- In the opening “Images” montage it mentioned the major athletes that have retired this year including Emmett Smith. I seriously missed that announcement, I guess I never though that he would retire. I fully expected him to be the Ricky Henderson of football.
- Also in the opening montage was multiple Ron Artest sightings which made me wonder why they don’t have “Worst Sports Moment” award.
- Dwayne Wade wins the Breakthrough Athlete award. They might have as well given the award to Shaq, because without him in Miami, Wade is just another decent player with no personality. I’m sure if guys would have known what Maria Sharapova would have been wearing, the voting might have gone a different way. That dress catapulted her over Anna Kournikova in the hotness ranking.
- It makes sense that Jessica Biel was a presenter at the ESPY’s because she is built like a linebacker.
- I have to admit I was totally conned by the Hoosiers 2 bit. I extremely mad when Amare Stoudemire and (um, was I supposed to know who the other dude was?) introduced the film. Luckily it was just a joke but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a remake the way Hollywood is pumping out recycled ideas. (FYI – next up in the remake department, and sadly this isn’t a joke, LL Cool J in Fatal Attraction.)
- Nothing say “Know way I’m seeing this” like hearing a movie is starring Tyrese, the weird dude from OutKast, some random dude, and Marky Mark. But somehow this makes them eligible to be presenters. I haven’t looked, but I’d put sizeable money that their movie is being distributed by one of Disney subsidiaries. And if you are unaware, ESPN is one of them.
- It was funny during the Best Coach montage that all the coaches had elaborate plays filled with X’s and O’s to go along with their part and Terry Francona’s bit was just a steal. If any baseball manager wins this award, there is a serious problem.
- Natalie Coughlin was robbed as the Best Female Olympic Performance went to the USA Softball Team. It wasn’t the Best Females Olympic Performances, so a team shouldn’t even have been eligible. Shame on anyone who voted for them.
- Maria Sharapova wins Best Female Tennis Player yet we don’t get to see her accept it as it was thrown in with the awards previously given out montage. Bad mistake as ESPN once again screwed its make demographic another shot of her in that dress.
- Holy Carly Patterson sighting! It might just been the camera angle, but it sure looked like she has packed on the pounds since last August. I guess that’s what happens when you are allowed to eat for the first time in your life. But she may want to slow down or she just might find herself on Celbrity Fit Club 3.
- The Spelling Bee bit rivels anything Vince Vaugn has done on the MTV Movie Awards. “Spell Sharapova.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I would like to go on a date with Maria Sharapova.”
- Can some one tell how Wilmer Vanderama got so lucky? First he dates a barely legal Mandy Moore, then he lands the not so legal Lindsey Lohan before she got ugly, now he’s presenting with Maria Sharapova. And he’s not on an ABC show nor does he have a Disney venture to promote. I really need to find out how to become Ashton Kutcher’s sidekick.
- Next up is the best segment on any awards show, The Arthur Ashe Award, given this year to Jim McLaren, a Yale football star who was pronounced dead after being hit by a bus. But he recovered and set multiple records for a one legged athlete only to be hit by a van while riding a bike in a triathlon and was told by doctors he would not be able to feel or move anything below his head ever again. The awards was also givin to a man who was inspired by McLaren, Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah who was born without a bone in his leg in Ghana, a country where disabled children are routinely killed at birth. Yeboah went on to ride a bike across his home country, 370 miles, on a bike that was donated by a program that was inspired by McLaren. The highlight of the segment came when originally diagnosed paraplegic, McLaren, was seen wiping away his tears with his own hands while accepting the award in front of a stand ovation.
- There was a Monday Night Football reunion between Terrel Owens and Nicollette Sheridan. For those keeping track at home she joined Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Michael Vartan (Alias), James Denton (Desperate Housewives), Nick and Jessica (Nick and Jessica's Tour of Duty), and Kelly Preston (Sky High) as blatant Disney product placement at the ESPY’s. I’m sure if you look at the other actors at the awards you will also find they are Disney products. Yet surprisingly no one from Lost made an appearance. Could they not at least brought in the token hot chick from the show.
- Blake Hoffarber won the Best Play award. I don’t want to tell Mr. Slice I told you so (although just by typing it I think I just did. Sorry.)
- Friday Night Lights wins Best Sports Movie, the director picked up the trophy but when you’re dating Estella Warren, that’s really award enough.
- It seems like The Rock will be soon dropped from his name as he is starting to be introduced as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Bad move as The Rock sound much cooler than Dwayne. Dwayne always conjures images of Dwayne Wayne and his flip glasses. This is a potential career killer. Granted this affect Wayne Wade marking ability much worse.
- The night closes with a perforce by Destiny’s Child with some weird Riverdance type chorography. This just may give us an insight in the post-Destiny’s Child careers on the two members of the group not named Beyoncé as they soon may be Michael Flattley’s sidekicks.
Final Scooter Talley:
Voted For: 6 for 17 (.353)
Predicted Correctly: 7 for 17 (.412)
With the return of hockey, I have a few suggestions.
1. Get Rid of the Blue Lines – This is a rule that everyone who plays EA's NHL Series turns off immediately because it is extremely annoying and in real life slows down the game to a grinding halt either because some one violated the rule or a team holds the puck while avoiding the infraction. Basically all this rule does is award teams that are to lazy to guard players.
2. Get rid of all teams below St. Louis – Who ever though that people would fans would want to watch the Stanley Cup in June when they could be going to the beach is a moron. Why would anyone want to watch hockey in place where they would never see ice outside ever in their lifetime? Some team should just be eliminated because there are way too many to begin with. Basically the Southeast and Pacific divisions both should be dissolved. Although some teams should be moved back to their original homes for instance move the Carolina Hurricanes back to Hartford where people actually play hockey.
3. Shorten the Season and Playoffs – Even places where there are not any beaches don’t want to see hockey in June, or May for that matter. Shorten the season by about 20 games and go with a best of 5-5-7 system for the playoffs. That should shave a month and a half to two months off the season
4. Bring Back the Old Divisions – Back in 93, the NHL decided to change the unique named divisions and conferences to bland geographically correct names. By doing this, the NHL lost some mystic and history and became like all the sports. They should really changes those back to the Norris, Smyth, Adams, Patrick Divisions and the Clarence Campbell and Prince of Wales Conferences.
5. Lower Ticket Prices – The best way to build the league up again is to make it the only sport in town where families can see professional sports without breaking the back or postpone the trip 
to Disneyworld. Have the good seats sell for around $15 and $5 for the nosebleed and watch the fans come back in droves.
Most importantly, the NHL owners and NHLPA need to fire Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow. Both are the faces and names most associated with the 2004-5 lost season and the best PR move is just to cut ties with both men. If fact they should make it a public firing at the first game of the upcoming season and televised on ESPN. You can even make a prize out of it and let two lucky fans to the honors.
An interesting poll I found up on ESPN today (Rank 'Em: Where does the NHL fit?) giving the readers to rank the major, and some not so major, sports. Here is the current list:
1. NFL
2. MLB
3. College Football
4. NHL
5. NBA
6. College Basketball
7. Golf
8. Soccer
9. Tennis
10. Auto Racing
11. Boxing
12. Action Sports
13. Horse Racing
14. Softball
15. Bowling
16. WNBA
The biggest shock is how high hockey is even higher than basketball. David Stern can’t be happy with this and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Gary Bettman wakes up with a horses head in his bed sometime soon. Another shocker is that, even with all the Danica Patrick hoopla, auto racing is still ranked behind tennis and soccer. I keep hearing with the lack of the NHL, NASCAR would leap into the big four of major sports. I guess one could make an argument that your average NASCAR fan isn’t smart enough to vote on something that involves logging onto the internet, or wouldn’t have internet in the first place. But I will take the high road and not insult NASCAR fans like that. Granted, just mentioning, I guess in a way, is pot-shot at them. Oh, well. It’s not like they can get on the internet to read this anyways. Hear is how I rank the sports.
1. NFL – Coming from northeast Ohio, the Browns are a lifelong obsession for me and everyone around me. Seriously, where else are fans so obsessive that when they lose their team they riot to the point that they get their team back with the history and everything in tact. I even deny that the years 1996-1999 even existed. There was just a disturbance in the time-space continuum.
2. MLB – I grew up with one of the most feudal baseball team ever, the Indians and I was fine with that. As a kid, my family could go up to the Mistake by the Lake and walk up that day and get good tickets for cheap. The team even spawned on of the greatest sports movie ever, Major League. But unfortunately, the Tribe actually got good and moved into a much smaller stadium and it was impossible to get tickets and if you did, it cost an arm and a leg. So I switch over to rooting for the Astros because I became extremely bitter towards all the Fairweather Johnsons that popped up at the time. But I still make it to the local AA game a couple times a season because nothing beats a ballpark frank.
3. College Basketball – This is high solely because it hosts the greatest postseason even of all the sports, March Madness. Unfortunately the sport has been watered down as all the would be college stars are currently riding the pine in the NBA, but hopefully that will change with the new age restriction.
4. Soccer – The sport of my youth and World Cup soccer (men’s and women’s) is the best stand alone tournament of any sport. I’m glued to the couch whenever they roll around.
5. NHL – When the NHL comes back, it will poised to jump college basketball and soccer if they make some changes, and the closer the NHL becomes to Olympic hockey, the better.
6. Tennis – I have always loved to play tennis but watching professional tennis has become extremely boring lately because the athletes (and equipment for that matter) have become too good. Way too many aces and not enough long volleys to peak my interest for very long.
7.NBA – Much like college basketball, the quality of play has decreased because the players that should be college stars are mediocre NBA players at best. But unlike college, the NBA playoffs drag on forever. The rounds are too long and there is too much time in between playoff games, so by the time the finals roll around no one cares because they are bored with the winter sport and baseball is in full swing.
8. Boxing – How have the mighty have fallen. The biggest problem with boxing is that it got too big headed. They took it off free television and expected that people would drop $50 every couple weeks for a fight. Now it’s hard to find a sports fan that can name even one title holder. They could easily revive the sport if they start putting “marquee” bouts on free TV again.
9. Golf – Love to play it, fall asleep while watching it.
10. Action Sports – Some what of a broad category but some of thing those dudes (and chick) do are pretty cool like the dude last week who jumped the Great Wall of China.
11. College Football – Never understood the popularity of college football especially among those who have never went to that college or even live in that college town. My dislike of college football most likely stems from going to a college that never had a winning season while I was there. Of course that’s why God gave us NCAA Football so we can have Kent State beat up on Ohio State.
12. Bowling – Much like golf, like to play it, but massively boring to watch.
13. Softball – This is saved from last place solely because of Jennie Finch.
14. WNBA – Kind of like Softball but without Jennie Finch.
15. Horse Racing – They are animals; so essentially, I really could care less about them.
16. Auto Racing – People turning left for hours at a time, the smell of exhaust, the Doppler Effect, the instant loss of IQ points. I think I’ll pass. To be honest, if I could, I’d put badminton, paint ball, cricket, midget tossing, fake wrestling, tee ball, bicycling, Curling, flag football, spelling bees, laser tag, ballroom dancing, bull fighting, poker, bobsledding, and the heavyweight division of naked twister above auto racing.
The Emmy’s were announced today and even though it pales in comparison to the STA’s (c’mon, it doesn’t even have a Hottest Token Hot Chick Category). I’ll go ahead and toss out my predictions.
Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour)
Family Guy - FOX
Samurai Jack - Cartoon Network
The Simpsons - FOX
South Park - Comedy Central
SpongeBob SquarePants - Nickelodeon
Who will win: The Simpsons
Who should win: The Simpsons
The problem with Family Guy is that it’s all about the gags in-between a weak plot, so The Simpsons who week in and week out produce good show gets the nod over South Park which has been spotty in recent seasons.
Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming One Hour Or More)
Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real I - Animal Planet
Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25) - Cartoon Network
Who will win: Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25)
Who should win: Star Wars Clone Wars Vol. 2 (Chapters 21-25)
Wow, only two nominees. Maybe they should make the cut off a half an hour. Oddly enough they consider Chapters 21-25 one entity instead of individual episodes.
Outstanding Commercial
Applause - Budweiser
Drink Up - Aquafina
Glen - Starbucks Doubleshot
The One Campaign - One.org
Surprise Dinner - Ameriquest Mortgage
Who will win: - The One Campaign - One.org
Who should win: Glen - Starbucks Doubleshot
Should have been nominated: Wonderful Tonight - SBC
The One Campaign is a cool stylish ad with a good message, but when I first saw the Glen commercial, I fell off my chair laughing. I’m sure you remember this one with a Survivor knock off band following around some dude, presumably named Glen, replacing the Eye of the Tiger with Glen’s name. The current Starbucks commercial out right now with Hank being followed like a college basketball team to the sounds of Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll part 2 is actually better but most likely not eligible because it’s new. Wonderful Tonight is much better than some of the others on the list.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jason Bateman as Michael Bluth - Arrested Development - FOX
Ray Romano as Ray Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk - Monk - USA
Zach Braff as John “J.D.” Dorian - Scrubs - NBC
Eric McCormack as Will Truman - Will & Grace – NBC
Who will win: Ray Romano
Who should win: Jason Bateman
Nothing say awards sweep like the season, so you will see “Raymond” multiple times on Emmy night but Bateman on Arrested Development is much funnier. And is Will & Grace still on the air?
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
James Spader as Alan Shore - Boston Legal - ABC
Ian McShane as Al Swearengen - Deadwood - HBO
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House - House - FOX
Hank Azaria as Dr. Craig “Huff” Huffstodt - Huff - Showtime
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer - 24 - FOX
Who will win: Ian McShane
Who should win: don’t care
Should have been nominated: Denis Leary
I don’t watch any of the shows nominated which goes to show that the Emmy voters are morons. McShane will win only because the Emmy’s are obsessed with HBO and without the Soprano’s, the other HBO show will win here. Leary performance on Rescue Me all season was thoroughly solid and deserved a nod, but I might be bias here considering I memorized No Cure for Cancer in college.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Marcia Cross as Bree Van De Camp - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Teri Hatcher as Susan Mayer - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Patricia Heaton as Debra Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Jane Kaczmarek as Lois - Malcolm in the Middle – FOX
Who will win: Patricia Heaton
Who should win: Teri Hatcher
Should have been nominated: Eva Longoria
Heaton will win for two reasons: she’s part of the Raymond farewell tour and the Emmy like to distance themselves from the Golden Globes, thus no Desperate Housewives love. Speaking of Desperate Housewives, they left off the best actress on the show, Longoria. Without her, no one would be watching that show (and by no one, I mean men). Plus her debacles with the lawn boy are a lot funnier than Susan’s outrageous gag of the week.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow - Alias - ABC
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - NBC
Patricia Arquette as Allison Dubois - Medium - NBC
Glenn Close as Capt. Monica Rawling - The Shield - FX
Frances Conroy as Ruth Fisher - Six Feet Under – HBO
Who will win: Glenn Close
Who should win: Jennifer Garner
Who should have been nominated: Kristen Bell
Another category I could care less about. Alias is the only show I watched but apparently the Emmy voters can’t spot Garner’s stunt double as easily as normal people because that’s where the real acting for Sydney Bristow takes place. It’s sad that the voter ignored the under-thirty crowd missing great performances by Evangeline Lily of Lost, Amber Tamblyn of Joan of Arcadia, and the woman who should have won, Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars. I’d even take Brittany Snow of American Dreams or Emily van Camp of Everwood over any of the current nominees.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth Sr. - Arrested Development - FOX
Jeremy Piven as Ari Jacobs - Entourage - HBO
Peter Boyle as Frank Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Brad Garrett as Robert Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Sean Hayes as Jack McFarland - Will & Grace – NBC
Who will win: Brad Garrett
Who should win: Jeffrey Tambor
Should have been nominated: Ricardo Chavira
Every time George Sr. (or Oscar, who is mentioned in the nomination) appears on screen I end up on the floor laughing, but sadly one of Raymond’s relatives will walk away with the award. Carlos Solis was overlook as his hatred is just as entertaining as his wife’s infidelity. But seriously, is Will & Grace still on the air?
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner as Denny Crane - Boston Legal - ABC
Oliver Platt as Russell Tupper - Huff - Showtime
Naveen Andrews as Sayid - Lost - ABC
Terry O’Quinn as John Locke - Lost - ABC
Alan Alda as Senator Arnold Vinick - The West Wing - NBC
Who will win: Alan Alda
Who should win: Terry O’Quinn
Should have been nominated: Enrico Colantoni
I would make the argument that O’Quinn should have been included in the Lead category as his character has become as big as Jack’s in the second half of the season. I also would have chosen Sawyer over Sayid, but this is Hollywood’s way to say “We love Iraqis.” But the only problem is that Andrews is Indian, not Iraqi. Colantoni was great as papa Mars, especially whenever he uttered the phrase, “Who’s your daddy?” to Veronica. But more importantly, where’s my homie, Ice-T?
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Jessica Walter as Lucille Bluth - Arrested Development - FOX
Doris Roberts as Marie Barone - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper - Two And A Half Men - CBS
Conchata Ferrell as Berta - Two And A Half Men - CBS
Megan Mullally as Karen Walker - Will & Grace – NBC
Who will win: Doris Roberts
Who should win: Jessica Walter
It’s odd that the only nominations Two and a Half Men get are in the female category. I didn’t even know there were women on the show. Mrs. Bluth is just a funny as her TV husband, but again Raymond’s mom will take it. Honestly, I hate Raymond and glad he’s leaving.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Sandra Oh as Cristina - Grey’s Anatomy - ABC
Blythe Danner as Izzy Huffstodt - Huff - Showtime
Tyne Daly as Maxine Gray - Judging Amy - CBS
CCH Pounder as Det. Claudette Wyms - The Shield - FX
Stockard Channing as Abigail Bartlet - The West Wing – NBC
Who will win: Stockard Channing
Who should win: Blythe Danner
Should be nominated: Maggie Grace
Just like lead actress, the Emmy goes for “Name” actress apposed to those who deserve it. Amanda Seyfried of Veronica Mars, Sarah Drew of Everwood, Allison Mack of Smallville, as well as Hottest Token Hot Chick winner, Maggie Grace should be recognized.
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Fred Willard as Hank - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Victor Garber as Peter Bovington - Will & Grace - NBC
Jeff Goldblum as Frank/Scott - Will & Grace - NBC
Bobby Cannavale as Vince - Will & Grace - NBC
Alec Baldwin as Malcolm - Will & Grace – NBC
Who will win: Fred Willard
Who should win: Victor Garber
Should have been nominated: Shaft
Have no idea how a show that isn’t even on TV anymore (at least I don’t think it is) can get four nominations yet Shaft and Bob Newhart’s appearances on Desperate Housewives don’t get any love. Granted seeing Jack Bristow playing a gay homosexual was hilarious, but I swear that episode was on two-three years ago. Also Ben Stiller on Arrested Development should have replaced one of the Will & Grace nods and Ed Begley Jr. as the eye brow-less rival to George Sr..
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Red Buttons as Mr. Rubadoux - ER - NBC
Ray Liotta as Charlie Metcalf - ER - NBC
Ossie Davis as Melvin Porter - The L Word - Showtime
Charles Durning as Ernie Yost - NCIS - CBS
Martin Landau as Frank Malone - Without A Trace – CBS
Who will win: Ray Liotta
Who should win: Red Buttons
Should have been nominated: James Earl Jones
Jones’ spot should have been recognized. The dude who played Arntz on lost should have been up there too. And what about the Termanator (v.2) not being nominated for Lost?
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. McClusky - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Lupe Ontiveros as Juanita Solis - Desperate Housewives - ABC
Georgia Engel as Pat - Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Cloris Leachman as Ida - Malcolm In The Middle - FOX
Blythe Danner as Marilyn Truman - Will & Grace – NBC
Who will win: Cloris Leachman
Who should win: Lupe Ontiveros
Should have been nominated: Christine Taylor
I do love those Solises. Arrested Development again was sadly overlooked in the guest acting category.
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Swoosie Kurtz as Madeline Sullivan - Huff - Showtime
Cloris Leachman as Aunt Olive - Joan Of Arcadia - CBS
Amanda Plummer as Miranda Cole - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - NBC
Angela Lansbury as Eleanor Duvall - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Trial By Jury - NBC
Jill Clayburgh as Bobbie Broderick - Nip/Tuck – FX
Who will win: Angela Lansbury
Who should win: Cloris Leachman
Should have been nominated: Patricia Velasquez
Velasquez as Franco’s baby momma was one of the more memorial performances in recent memory. And what about the chick from Happy Gilmore not being nominated for Lost?
Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart - Comedy Central - Jon Stewart, Host
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - NBC - Jay Leno, Host
58th Annual Tony Awards (2004) - CBS Hugh Jackman, Host
Tracey Ullman Live & Exposed - HBO - Tracey Ullman, Performer
Whoopi Back To Broadway - The 20th Anniversary - HBO - Woopi Goldberg, Performer
Who will win: Jon Stewart
Who should win: Jon Stewart
Should have been nominated: David Letterman
One of the bigger crimes against humanity is suggesting that Leno is better than Letterman. This discredits and credibility the Emmy’s had. If Leno actually wins, some one needs to die a horrible death because of it.
Outstanding Comedy Series
Arrested Development - FOX
Desperate Housewives - ABC
Everybody Loves Raymond - CBS
Scrubs - NBC
Will & Grace - NBC
Who will win: Everyone Loves Raymond
Who Should Win: Arrested Development
I still missed the memo on why Desperate Housewives is a comedy because the reasons everyone comes back each week is because of the drama elements. But then again, they are not winning anyways. I’m still convinced that there were no new Will & Grace episodes this season.
Outstanding Drama Series
Deadwood - HBO
Lost - ABC
Six Feet Under - HBO
24 - FOX
The West Wing - NBC
Who will win: Deadwood
Who should win: Lost
Should have been nominated: Veronica Mars
Nothing says Emmy winner than lots of vulgarity and blood. And I thought storytelling should be the litmus test for a good show, but anyways. What should be here is the best show in production right now, Veronica Mars.
Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series
Da Ali G Show - HBO
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart – Comedy Central
Late Night With Conan O’Brien - NBC
Late Show With David Letterman - CBS
Real Time With Bill Maher - HBO
Who will win: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Who should win: Late Show with David Letterman
Should have been nominated – Pardon the Interruption
No love for ESPN as PTI is the most entertaining show on today. Unless it is considered daytime, then forget that gripe (At least until it is forgotten on the Daytime Emmy Awards). Letterman was rightfully nominated over Leno in this category, so no heads will roll.
Outstanding Nonfiction Special
Beyond The Da Vinci Code - The History Channel
Cary Grant: A Class Apart - TCM
Inside The Actors Studio: 10th Anniversary Special
Live From New York: The First Five Years Of Saturday Night Live - NBC
Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise And Fall Of Jack Johnson - PBS
Just wanted to give some love to Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise And Fall Of Jack Johnson as it was one of the most entertain shows on TV this past year.
Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow - PBS
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition - ABC
Penn & Teller: (Expletive Deleted)! - Showtime
Project Greenlight - Bravo
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - Bravo
Who will win: Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Who should win: Project Greenlight
Should have been nominated: Made
The Emmy’s love gay homosexuals as seen by the multiple nominations for a gay show that isn’t on anymore (I’m convinced Will & Grace got canceled a while ago) even though Project Greenlight was solid every week. MTV’s Made is a great show that I’ll save my explanation why for a later post.
Outstanding Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race - CBS
American Idol - FOX
The Apprentice - NBC
Project Runway - Bravo
Survivor - CBS
Who will Win: The Amazing Race
Who should win: Survivor
If American Karaoke wins there is something seriously wrong with the Emmy’s. Well as a wise man once said, “I tried to think of something deep to say, but my well is dripping dry today.” So I’ll just stop there and not get into best hairdressing, editing, miniseries and so one. There are way too many awards at all these awards shows.
The second half of baseball starts tomorrow, so what better time to give a mid-season assessment. The biggest story of the first half has been the lack of Big Head Barry. And for me that is a good thing. Just hang up the cleats, the clear, and the cream full time Barry, the game is doing good without you humongous dome. But without Big Head Barry playing everyday, there isn’t much to make fun of through-out the course the first half. Luckily Kenny Rogers quickly became a great public enemy #2 recently. First he has to miss a start after getting into a fight with a water cooler. Then after getting mocked for that, decided to pick a fight with a camera man. An old and concededly smaller camera man. But a least he put up a better fight than the water cooler. I wonder what exactly the camera man said to Rogers. “You’re my lady?” “You got to know when to hold them?” And for everyone who was against Rogers pitching in the All-Star game was proven wrong yesterday. First the announcer actually paused to give the fans extra time to boo him. Then Chipper Jones tattooed him to start a NL run. Not to mention he had to answer questions from the hated media the last couple days.
As for my boy the Astros, after a slow start, they have got hot lately. Sound familiar? In fact, the Astros are one game better than they were last year. But unfortunately Carlos Beltran won’t be helping out this year. And they can’t rely on the Cubs choking again because they choked early this year. Although if Brandon Backe can throw together a few solid starts in a row, get one more bat, and actually win on the road (the start the second half with a long road trip starting in St. Louis) Houston could get the wild card again this season.
The International Olympic Committee also made baseball news over the All-Star break by announcing they are dropping baseball and softball from the games. Now I sick of all the pervs complaining that won’t be able to see Jennie Finch, but softball won’t be dropped until the 2012 London games. Who know how good Finch will look by then. Look at how far Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Love Hewitt have fallen lately. And we don’t even if she will still be playing then. And lets be honest, Derek Jeter looks more attractive than most of Finch’s teammates. As for baseball, this was a poor decision as the sport is huge in the Caribbean nations and Asia, so there was a lot of competition. And I dislike the IOC’s reason for baseball being dropped is because the MLB doesn’t send their players. That’s a sham because the Olympics are always better when the amateur players are participating and dropping one of the sports that doesn’t send its pro’s is a sham.
Now onto the baseball that truly matters, fantasy baseball. First there is Jobu’s Revenge of the California Penal League. Currently they are sitting in first place with a one game lead. Not bad for drafting 9 out of 12 teams. On top of that, I only have one player currently hitting over .300 (Jeter). Pitching has really been the strong point by picking up some gems in the later rounds like Chris Carpenter (9), Chad Cordero (11), and Livan Hernandez (13).
As for Bond’s Giant Head in the Bash Brothers League, they have been ransacked by injuries in the first half leading to a late slide in the first half to end up in 7th (out of 10) place and 16 games out. As mentioned earlier, injuries to Cory Patterson, Orlando Cabrera, Javy Lopez, Erik Bedard, among others have really damaged my worst to first dream. But at least I have the best name in the league.
In other sports news, it looks like hockey is back. Well that only too 300+ days.
Years ago, a wise man once told me “Video killed the radio star.” Well I’m here to give a new pronouncement, that Podcast killed the video star. It was an easy killing as videos have been in a decline since the late 90’s. MTV and VH1 rarely show them anymore. MTV2 and FUSE both focus on the agro-teenage boy demographic (i.e. trite rock and bling-bling rap), so to see videos, you are denigrated to having to find them on the web, typically with low quality.
As for Podcasts, I for along time thought that, like TIVO, I just wasn’t cool enough to use it. I had heard its name for a couple months but I wasn’t exactly sure what they were. But then a couple weeks ago, iTunes began offering up Podcasts, most (if not all) for free. My interest was peaked and when I opened the Podcast section on iTunes, I turned into a kind in a candy store. My eyes were open wide. They had Podcasts for everything you could think of: Sports, Music, News, Politics (for the right and left), Comedy, Technology, Education, even the Queer Eyes have their own podcast handing out gay tips. Today on one of my podcast subscriptions I heard a mash-up combining Kelly Clarkson’s Since U Been Gone and The Eagles One of These Nights (beacuse who wouldn't want to spend One of These Nights with Kelly). Now that’s worth the price of admission right there. And of course the price of admission is free.
And the Buggles prediction has come full circle because Podcasts are essentially radio broadcast for the internet. And unlike the radio, you can find something that interested as my radio plays very little in the way of diversity. And if you already have a Podcast, you can publish it through iTunes. Don’t expect a Scooter McGavin podcast anytime because I’m sure that I’m definitely not cool enough to do it.
There are a few Lyric Quiz songs that still have gone un-guessed, so I though I’d put up a couple hints.
1. The lead singers wife and child were prominently featured on their Live 8 performance.
6. This song was featured in the movie City of Angels.
13. Next line: She had hair so long that it looked like weave, now she cut all off, now she looks like Eve.
15. This artist is no stranger to helpful causes as he helped found Farm Aid.
16. Stevie Nicks is featured in this song but the group is not Fleetwood Mac.
18. Mos Def is featured in the video for this song but doesn’t rap on it.
19. This band features members from two huge bands of the 90’s.
20. She is a British singer who was severely overlooked in America.
23. At the time of this song, this rapper had a DJ.
25. They were the only rap act at Live Aid and wore a specific type of shoes during that performance.
I found this idea over at Postcards From Metro Suburbia and I thought it would be a good idea to steal (I mean sample, because stealing is wrong). So I have 25 different lyric listed. IF you think you know one, list the Artist and Song (must have both to receive credit) in the comment section, and if you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. If this is successful, it may become a monthly staple on the 9th Green and I will list the person with the most correct answers in a winner’s section on my sidebar. The first theme will be artists who performed at Live 8 so lyrics were chosen at random from those artist (and possibly former bands *hint*).
1. I lost my head and thought of all the stupid things I said. (Trouble - Clodplay - guessed by Pure Mood)
2. I’m a man of many wishes, I hope my premonition misses. (Lately - Stevie Wonder - guessed by Daria)
3. Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen. (Your Song - Elton John - guessed by Daria)
4. I’m not part of a redneck agenda. (American Idiot - Green Day - guessed by Vryce)
5. I’m warning you don’t ever do those crazy messed up things that you do. (Call and Answer - Barenaked Ladies - guessed by IllyriaJones)
6. It’s the stuff, the stuff of country songs. (If God Would Send His Angels - U2 - guessed by Pure Mood)
7. Everyday should be a good day to die. (You Never Know - Dave Matthews Band - guessed by Ben)
8. Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight. (Somebody Told Me - The Killers - guessed by Ben)
9. How does it feel to know you’ll never have to be alone. (Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5 - guessed by Gimmie a Dollar)
10. I’m a million different people from one day to the next. (Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve - guessed by Daria)11. I cut so much; you thought I was a DJ. (Drop it Like it's Hot - Snoop Dogg - guessed by patm)
12. Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? (Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd - guessed by Luka)
13. She couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis.
14. I guess I’m not alone at being alone. (Message in a Bottle - The Police - guessed by IllyriaJones)
15. Don’t feel like Satan but I am to them. (Rockin' the Free Worls - Neil Young - guessed by Cassiopeia)
16. I shake my jelly at every chance. (Bootylicious - Destiny's Child - guessed by Pure Mood)
17. You said that irony was the shackles of youth. (What's the Frequency Kenneth? - R.E.M - guessed by IllyriaJones)
18. I can’t wait for the first time. My imagination is running wild.
19. I won’t preach to you, but here’s a caution. (Cochise - Audioslave - guessed by Cassiopeia)
20. You’re talking so much sex, but you’re not telling us about AIDS.
21. You’re about as easy as a nuclear war. (Is There Something I Should Know - Duran Duran - guessed by Julie)
22. With a name I’ve never chosen, I can make my first steps. (Chocolate - Snow Patrol - guessed by Julie)
23. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie.
24. You’re such a secret, misty eyed and shady. (Bring on the Heartbreak - Def Leppard guessed by Vryce)
25. Walk through concert doors and roam all over coliseum floors. I stepped on stage, at Live Aid. (My Adidas - Run-DMC - guessed by Pure Mood)
There were a lot of complaints last week of MTV/VH1’s coverage of the Live 8 concerts as they cut from performance to performance, sometime cutting off an artist in mid-song. Well today, they did an alright job of righting their pervious wrong as both channels show five hours of uninterrupted and commercial free performances. It still wasn’t perfect as they didn’t give full performances of some artist like Stevie Wonder and Dido. Not too mention the laundry list of performances that were left off that I pointed out in my original Live 8 post (World Keep on Turning, Cause it Won’t Be Too Long), none of those artist were given a slot today. So, alas, the best place to see the concerts until the DVD comes out is at AOLMusic.com. Here are some additions of interest that I saw on today’s broadcast that I didn’t mention in my last Live 8 review:
- What was with all the gratuitous Gwyneth and Apple shots during the Coldplay performance? Although I have to admit that Apple gun-range type ear plugs the cutest thing.
- Even more questionable gratuitous shot was of Paula Abdul during Stevie Wonder’s performance. Seriously why?
- MTV and VH1 repeated many of the same performances like U2, Coldplay, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Robbie Williams, The Who, Pink Floyd, and Paul McCartney. Let’s play a little game of “Which One of These is Not Like the Others?” If you guessed Robbie Williams, go get yourself a cookie. Very few people on this side of the pond could even name one of songs. But at least MTV showed his performance of Angels, unlike VH1. And for anyone who thinks that’s a Jessica Simpson song, please do yourself a favor and download the original Williams version.
- Did I seriously hear Rob Thomas start to sing Steve Miller Band’s The Joker in the middle of 3 AM? Worst placement of a song ever.
- Now I the biggest Snoop Dogg fan out there but I MTV didn’t show his performance because all they did was edit out every third word. It got unbearable to watch even for me. As I was flipping through the channels until Snoop was over I happened upon the WNBA All-Star Game. I didn’t even now they started their season yet, let alone are halfway through it.
- VH1 actually showed a performance from Johannesburg while MTV showed the same performance and a second one to boot. Yet nothing from Rome, Barrie, Paris, or Moscow.
- I wonder why Alicia Keys only got one song. And how did Linkin Park get four songs plus an extra three song with Jay-Z? Do people really need that long of a bathroom break?
- During my last Pink Floyd post (Money, It's a Crime), I wondered if there was some sort of hug at the end of their performance and it turned out there was. I’m really beginning to think there will be a full reunion show (yes show, not tour) in the near future.
It was also telling what each channel chose as their post-concert programming. MTV showed a MTV News report dedicated to Live 8 that included many of the segments that were showed multiple times during last week’s show. It also included a segment featuring the detractors of Live 8 who made counterpoint, many of which I agree with. While VH1 decided to show a mini marathon of their Fabulous Life Of… series. Nothing better to follow up five hours devoted to eliminate poverty in Africa than having a show devoted to the life of excess. Do we really need to know that Justin Timberlake has about eight cars that cost a total of approximately two million dollars? Hey but at least he snapped his fingers in the One commercial. Way to contribute JT.
Also it was announce recently that the leaders of G8 have pledged to give $50 billion by 2010. A great step in the right direction, but one major obstacle is that many of the African countries are lead by ruthless dictators. There needs to be regime changes in these countries as some of the economist pointed out during the counterpoint in the MTV special. And unlike Iraq, a change in government would not be met with such opposition as the African people have nothing to lose and everything to gain by such a change. Yes Saddam was as horrible as his African counterparts, but Iraqi’s, for the most part were well off under Saddam (sans the Kurds), just as long as they didn’t cross him or his regime. So the Iraqis had much to lose by an invasion and met it with much resistance. This would not be the case in Africa, as it was not the case in Afghanistan either. So once these oppressive regimes are changed and a true democracy is put in place, then, and only then, will the dream of making poverty history will be achieved.
Nothing says, “no way I’m watching thing” more than hearing the phrase, “from the demented mind of Ashton Kutcher." So needless to say, I had no desire to see his latest show the he was producing, Beauty and the Geek. Not to mention that the show looked like an Average Joe knock off. And it’s never a good idea to rip-off an already lame show. But the more ads I saw for the Beauty and the Geek, the more entertaining it looked. I realized that it wasn’t necessarily an Average Joe knock-off as Beauty and the Geek was not a dating show, instead, as the host said, it was a social experiment where they take a dumb chick (who happens to be hot) and pair her up with a smart dude (who happens to be a nerd). But the biggest advantage of the show was whereas most shows have a lone token hot chick, Beauty and the Geek has six. So by the time the show started, I decided to give it a try.
What I found was one of the most entertaining reality shows in a long while. The highlight of the show was the nerds. First there was the king of all nerds, Richard Rubin who as soon as he walked on screen I though he’s the white Urkel. And apparently I was right as his partner said the same thing in her first interview after meeting him. Then there was Chuck Munyon who had a penchant for say very big word that even the other geeks didn’t know the meaning to and would correct every little detail that could be wrong. Oh, and he had an occasional nose bleed. And Joe Hanson had no problem admitting that he was a virgin on national television. That in itself isn’t that bad until he clarified that he wasn’t by choice. But my favorite geek was Bill Lambing who’s title was “Vice-President of the Dukes of Hazard Fan Club.” Make you wonder just how geeky the president is. And Bill mention he didn’t have enough time to meet woman because he was too busy with the fan club. How busy can he be, the show has been off the air for twenty years. And any true Dukes fan (like myself) refuses to acknowledge any Dukes of Hazard that doesn’t star John Schneider and Tom Wopat. Didn’t Holleywood learn anything from the Coy and Vance debacle?
As for the fair sex, we had a bunch of dumb token hot chicks. All the hot chick clichés were here: Hot chick how spells her name with an “I” instead of a “Y” – Mindi Emanuel; hot chick who mispronounces her own name – Caitilin Stoller (pronounced Kite-a-lynn); sorority girl – Mindi; cheerleader – Krystal Tini; Barbi wannabe – Erika Rumsey But the problem with them was that some of them were not that hot. Not that I’d turn any of them down, but some would be considered Elevated (Yellow) if I were grading them on my Terror Alert Scale including Krystal, Mindi and Scarlet. That’s half of the girls right there. I guess they went more for the dumber girl but then again Mindi wasn’t really that dumb though. Then Cheryl Eliot, whom I though would be the most approachable from first sight of the bunch, was tossed on the first elimination. But lingerie model Lauren Bergfeld make up for the sup-par who also had one of the sexiest voices to boot. And Caitilin (pronounced Kite-a-lynn) grew on me as the show wore on and made it pretty easy to root for once Lauren was unceremoniously bounced from the show.
Some of the best part of the show included having Richard start off the show with the tagline “Never kissed a girl,” then every time he kissed one of the girls on the show, it would change real time until it read “Kissed 3 girls.” Richard’s date with Lauren. Every time the girls tries to say something smart but backfired, “1942 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Chuck almost killing Richard in the finale. Richard’s response when finding out Mindi was a size 0. “Size 0? That means you don’t exist.” Lauren explaining how she has an IQ of 500. There are just too many more to name.
Next week is the reunion show, should be a good time if only to see Lauren once last time. Supposedly they will dish the dirt about the romances that when on in the house, which I assume were just for the cameras. And with the success of the first season, a second season will be coming to a television screen near you in the near. And if I could make a suggestion to Ashton Kutcher to make next season better – cast me. My words tend to get scrambled when I’m in the presence of token hot chicks. I’m about 3 IQ points away from MENSA’s requirement, granted it’s still well shy of Lauren’s IQ. I even own the same shirt the Richard wore in an episode (that would be the yellow one pictured above). So Ashton, shout me a holla dogg. (See, I even have my own cheesy catch phrase. Although you may have to pay Ben Siller royalties.)
Beauty and the Geek 1x gets a ![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
