I Got the Brains, You Got the Looks

Nothing says, “no way I’m watching thing” more than hearing the phrase, “from the demented mind of Ashton Kutcher." So needless to say, I had no desire to see his latest show the he was producing, Beauty and the Geek. Not to mention that the show looked like an Average Joe knock off. And it’s never a good idea to rip-off an already lame show. But the more ads I saw for the Beauty and the Geek, the more entertaining it looked. I realized that it wasn’t necessarily an Average Joe knock-off as Beauty and the Geek was not a dating show, instead, as the host said, it was a social experiment where they take a dumb chick (who happens to be hot) and pair her up with a smart dude (who happens to be a nerd). But the biggest advantage of the show was whereas most shows have a lone token hot chick, Beauty and the Geek has six. So by the time the show started, I decided to give it a try.

What I found was one of the most entertaining reality shows in a long while. The highlight of the show was the nerds. First there was the king of all nerds, Richard Rubin who as soon as he walked on screen I though he’s the white Urkel. And apparently I was right as his partner said the same thing in her first interview after meeting him. Then there was Chuck Munyon who had a penchant for say very big word that even the other geeks didn’t know the meaning to and would correct every little detail that could be wrong. Oh, and he had an occasional nose bleed. And Joe Hanson had no problem admitting that he was a virgin on national television. That in itself isn’t that bad until he clarified that he wasn’t by choice. But my favorite geek was Bill Lambing who’s title was “Vice-President of the Dukes of Hazard Fan Club.” Make you wonder just how geeky the president is. And Bill mention he didn’t have enough time to meet woman because he was too busy with the fan club. How busy can he be, the show has been off the air for twenty years. And any true Dukes fan (like myself) refuses to acknowledge any Dukes of Hazard that doesn’t star John Schneider and Tom Wopat. Didn’t Holleywood learn anything from the Coy and Vance debacle?

As for the fair sex, we had a bunch of dumb token hot chicks. All the hot chick clichés were here: Hot chick how spells her name with an “I” instead of a “Y” – Mindi Emanuel; hot chick who mispronounces her own name – Caitilin Stoller (pronounced Kite-a-lynn); sorority girl – Mindi; cheerleader – Krystal Tini; Barbi wannabe – Erika Rumsey But the problem with them was that some of them were not that hot. Not that I’d turn any of them down, but some would be considered Elevated (Yellow) if I were grading them on my Terror Alert Scale including Krystal, Mindi and Scarlet. That’s half of the girls right there. I guess they went more for the dumber girl but then again Mindi wasn’t really that dumb though. Then Cheryl Eliot, whom I though would be the most approachable from first sight of the bunch, was tossed on the first elimination. But lingerie model Lauren Bergfeld make up for the sup-par who also had one of the sexiest voices to boot. And Caitilin (pronounced Kite-a-lynn) grew on me as the show wore on and made it pretty easy to root for once Lauren was unceremoniously bounced from the show.

Some of the best part of the show included having Richard start off the show with the tagline “Never kissed a girl,” then every time he kissed one of the girls on the show, it would change real time until it read “Kissed 3 girls.” Richard’s date with Lauren. Every time the girls tries to say something smart but backfired, “1942 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Chuck almost killing Richard in the finale. Richard’s response when finding out Mindi was a size 0. “Size 0? That means you don’t exist.” Lauren explaining how she has an IQ of 500. There are just too many more to name.

Next week is the reunion show, should be a good time if only to see Lauren once last time. Supposedly they will dish the dirt about the romances that when on in the house, which I assume were just for the cameras. And with the success of the first season, a second season will be coming to a television screen near you in the near. And if I could make a suggestion to Ashton Kutcher to make next season better – cast me. My words tend to get scrambled when I’m in the presence of token hot chicks. I’m about 3 IQ points away from MENSA’s requirement, granted it’s still well shy of Lauren’s IQ. I even own the same shirt the Richard wore in an episode (that would be the yellow one pictured above). So Ashton, shout me a holla dogg. (See, I even have my own cheesy catch phrase. Although you may have to pay Ben Siller royalties.)

Beauty and the Geek 1x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.