The Closest You Ever Came to Being Black Was Watching the Cosby Show

In about two weeks Crash will do battle for Best Motion Picture of the Year at the Oscars as well as awards for acting, writing and directing for it’s powerful portrayal of race relations in Los Angeles over two days near Christmas. And by powerful, I mean extremely boring. Basically what the movie boils down to is two hours of white liberal guilt, the movie was written and directed by Paul Haggis, writer of Million Dollar Baby, and needless to say the liberal movie academy ate the movie up giving it six nominations.

The movie starts off with a car crash involving Don Cheadle (NFL Playoff Commercials) and Jennifer Esposito (Dracula 2000). Cheadle is really shaken up and goes off to la-la land before we head back to yesterday. I have to say the going back in time has become the most annoying plot devise currently used today in movies and television. There should really be a moratorium on using it. What’s worse in this movie, and this may ruin it a little, but not as much as watching it played off ruined the movie, but they never come back to this crash later in the movie unless I fell asleep and completely feel asleep.

Early on we are also introduced to two black men, Larenz Tate (of the wrongfully shelved Love Money) and Chris Bridges (who you may, or more likely not know as Ludacris) who complain how a white woman clutches her husband as they come closer only to carjack the couple. And knowing Bridges is a rapper in real life only makes his soliloquy against the genre cheesier. The couple in question is Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality 1 & 2) and Brendan Frasier (Encino Man), who is the District Attorney who is mad that being robbed by a couple black dudes may hurt retaining the black vote in the next election.

There’s also yet another good cop, Ryan Phillippe (Mr. Reece Witherspoon), bad cop, Matt Dillon (Herbie: Fully Loaded) tandem who pull over a black couple just for fun and the black dude, Terrence Howard (Mary J. Blige’s Be Without You video) just stands there and lets Dillon molest his wife, Thandie Newton (The Chronicles of Riddick). Just for fun, Haggis even threw in families full of Hispanics, Asians, and Arabs just so no one would feel left out. Well except the Indians are once again forgotten. At least you still have baseball teams that make light of your racial stereotypes.

Each of the characters eventually intertwines with each other showing up in other storylines much like a Lost flashback. But much like this season of Lost, it all becomes ho-hum when you see this happening mostly because you see it coming a mile away. Speaking of Lost, be sure to look out for Jin who makes a blink and you miss it cameo. Also don’t forget to look out for Tony Danza (The Tony Danza Show), in the most interesting scene in the whole film, as a movie producer who complains that an actor isn’t “black” enough, Priceless.

Crash gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Be My Little Rock & Roll Queen

The next band to cross the pond in hopes of American dominance is The Subways. And much like the original British Invasion, it seems like the band is going after the teenage girl demographic but instead of making their debut on the Ed Sullivan Show like the Beatles did in the sixties, in the new millennium The Subways instead introduced to themselves stateside to young girls everywhere via the soundtrack to The O.C. Mix 5 with the indie rocker Rock & Roll Queen. The band screamed and turned the guitars up and overpowered the other mope rock that has populating other bands on the soundtrack.

Now the band has finally released the first album on this side of the pond, Youth for Eternity. With the thrashing Rock & Roll Queen, it’s odd to here the album start with a folksy touch with the song I Want to Hear What You Got to Say, but the song quickly starts bouncing around sounding very similar to the Queens of the Stoned Age’s No One Knows. The same bouncy cadence shows up again later on the album with Oh Yeah. The band quickly picks it up with the next song, Holiday with an opening riff that sounds very similar to Green Day’s American Idiot. Um, is anyone noticing a trend?

Even though each song has a very distinctive style ranging from folk, to garage rock, to punk, each song sounds like it’s been done before. Mary and No Goodbyes even sound something Oasis might have done in the early years. In fact the band almost sounds as if the dude from Franz Ferdinand joined The White Stripes (The Subways are a band with two guys and a girl, no word if there was a pizza place involved), not that it would be a bad thing. And they even let the chick take over the vocals on a few verses and occasionally add a few soft harmonies giving the songs an extra boost. Youth for Eternity may not be the album that breaks The Subways, but that breakout success may only be an album or two away.

Song to Download - I Want to Hear What You Got to Say

Young for Eternity gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Winter Olympics Week 1 Round-Up

The Winter Olympics have almost hit the midway point, not that anyone has noticed. I’m sure most everyone has heard the blame game already with people pointing out the ability to read the results on the internet, the lack of stars heading into the games with the two biggest being Michelle Kwan, who dropped out, and Bode Miller, who so far has been a virtual no show. Not that the games have been able to produce any new stars. And even though America has already racked up a few gold’s, I doubt the average person couldn’t name one aside from the Flying Tomato and even then I doubt anyone knows his real name. Of course the most blame lies in the Winter Olympics themselves because, besides Hockey, there are not any real sports in these games although I find curling tranquil and that new snowboarding event is extremely entertaining. But on Wednesday when I turned on the Olympics all I saw was dude’s figure skating. I can almost understand why people turned to American Karaoke instead. Granted I instead utilized the off button as I don’t care to watch dudes poorly singing crappy songs.

But there is another culprit to blame the lack of interest of these games, Maxim and magazines of that ilk, for not bombarding us with half named pictures of Sasha Cohen and the other female athletes. Remember two years ago in the run-up of the Greece games there were plenty of pictorials of various women who were going to participate in the games, like Amanda Beard at right. I’m sure every guy has those picture luring somewhere on your hard drive and I bet many of you stopped reading this after seeing the picture and went looking for them. Even Playboy got into the action, granted if my memory serves me correct, almost all of those athletes didn’t actually qualify for the game. Oh well, it's not as if anyone who saw the pictures cared anyways.

Even though there isn’t as many as the Summer Games, there is still plenty of hotties to choose from like the previously mention Cohen. And supposable there is an ice dancer so hot, Congress put her on the fast track to naturalization, as she is Canadian, and Bush took time out of fighting the war on terror, fixing social security, rebuilding New Orleans, and distancing himself from Jack Abramoff to sign off on it to make sure she made the deadline to be eligible to compete from the USA. Oh, and if you want to see her for yourself, her name is Tanith Belbin if you want to see more pictures than the one to the right. Feel free to use the google search box on my sidebar. And aside from Belbin, is any guy not interesting is seeing the curling sisters out of their warm-up suits? The skin mags really dropped the ball on this. Plus why didn’t Sports Illustrated, with it’s annual Swimsuit Edition coming out during the Winter Olympics, not try to capitalize on it by having a layout of the competitors, not that I’m against the Maria Sharapova layout they went with instead.

And one more almost Olympics topic, to the dude who came to my site from U.S. House of Representatives looking for pictures of Natalie Coughlin, please stop wasting my tax money by searching for pictures of chicks. Don’t you have better things to do? For those that don’t, here’s another picture of Tanith with her partner, a.k.a. one of the luckiest people alive. Seriously, this is just like the weird drama guy in high school who got to hang out with all the hot drama chicks.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 10 1/2

Well last week I mentioned if last week's the promo where the clock reaches zero was a hoax I would never watch the show ever again (see Toss Up week 10). We got to see the clock hit quadruple zero. Then after about ten seconds and some Egyptian hieroglyphics (see below) Locke enters the code and the clock actually resets again. What crap. I would have been happier if absolutely nothing happened when the clock ran out, but to be able to reset the clock after it hit zero was cheap.



But the clock sequence wasn’t even the cheapest part of the whole episode. No that goes to the revisionist view of the original Iraq War. Not one American was killed do to enemy fire during the conflict and there was little to no contact between the Iraqis and the Americans, but Lost sought fit to change history with the Sayid flashback. Then to add salt to the wounds, they decided to throw in a big twist in that it was the American, not his countrymen, where he learned how to torture people. That was a straight up cheap move. And what really was irritating is Sayid has had the most entertaining flashback with all the military aspects. And this one was going good, and I was even ready to forgive the revisionist history, but they crossed the line making the American soldiers the bad guys.

But other than that, last night’s Lost was great. Oh wait, I forgot about the Sawyer storyline that was a complete rehash of him hunting the boar last season, except this season his opponent was a bull frog, and he traded Kate for Hurley as a companion. Yeah, that was worthless. The only redeemable part of the episode was following Sayid from the point Rousseau, making her first appearance this season, led him to the possible Other up to Sayid wailing on the dude. Personally I’m guessing hot air balloon guy is one of Them, which is not to be confused with an Other (see my theory on Them and Others here - Toss Up). For some reason next week is showing the two hour pilot and will return later finally realizes that she lost her memory weeks ago and tries to get it back. And for some reason does so by going into the jungle with Kate and Libby. Yeah, that will be a safe trip.


Veronica Mars, on the other hand has taken a slight hiatus with new episodes due to the amount of competition in February. In fact here’s the press release from UPN:



So two more weeks of repeats, then no more for the rest of the year, I can live with that. For the record, here’s the line up for the next couple weeks:

Wednesday, February 22 at 9:00PM - Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

Wednesday, March 1 at 9:00PM - Ahoy, Mateys!

Wednesday, March 8 at 9:00PM - No Veronica Mars?

Then just in times for the Ides of March a new episode and here's the press release:


NEPTUNE HIGH'S CLOSETED GAY TEENS TURN TO VERONICA FOR HELP WHEN A BLACKMAILER THREATENS TO OUT THEM, ON "VERONICA MARS," WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15 ON UPN

UPN'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED Co-Host Kristin Cavallari ("Laguna Beach") Guest Stars as Veronica's Closeted Classmate Kylie,
Jeffrey Sams ("Soul Food") Guest Stars as Baseball Legend Terrence Cook, and Tina Majorino ("Napoleon Dynamite") Returns as Mac

"Versatile Toppings" -- Neptune High's closeted gay teens, including cheerleader Kylie (guest star Kristin Cavallari), turn to Veronica for help when a blackmailer cracks into a private online bulletin board and threatens to publicly out everyone associated with the site unless they pay $5,000 apiece, on VERONICA MARS, Wednesday, March 15 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on UPN. Sarah Pia Anderson directed the episode from a script written by Phil Klemmer. Tina Majorino guest stars as Mac.

Meanwhile, Keith continues to work on a case for Jackie's dad Terrance Cook (guest star Jeffery Sams), while looking into bus crash leads. Later, Logan romantically pursues sophomore Hannah, much to her father's distress.

Lyrics Quiz - "Love" Songs

Not one to pass up a chance to beat a dead horse, I’m dedicating this month’s lyrics quiz to Valentines Day one day too late. For those who watch Jeopardy should know that the word “Love” is in quotes for a reason. For those who don’t, tough luck. But anyways. As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most correct lyrics will be added to the Winner’s list on my sidebar. For those fans of Veronica Mars, be sure to check out the press release UPN passed on to me regarding tonights and upcoming episodes below the quiz. And those who don’t, there’s no better time to check out the first season DVD, either buy it, rent it, or borrow it as soon as possible. Now on to the quiz:


1. There’s a girl right next to you and she’s just waiting for something to do. (Love the One Your With – Stephan Stills; guessed by Croaker)
2. I’ll be with you when the stars start falling. (Sunshine of Your Love - Cream; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
3. You love her, but she loves him, and he loves someone else. (Love Stinks - J. Geils Band; guessed by Croaker)
4. I must be fine ‘cause my heart’s still beating. (Fell in Love with a Boy - Joss Stone (would have accepted White Stripes too); guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
5. A simple prop to occupy my time. (The One I Love - R.E.M.; guessed by Angie)
6. The rock, handle like Van Exel, shake phonies you can’t get next to. (Crazy in Love - Beyonce' and Jay-Z; guessed by Crazy Like a Fox)
7. The tears of an angel, the tears of a dove, spilling all over your heart from above. (Cry Love - John Hiatt; guessed by Bozette)
8. This life is a beautiful one, I know I’ve seen it come undone, I know most definitely, it’s gonna be you and it’s gonna be me. (Love, Love, Love - Tristan Perttyman; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
9. Baby when I think about you, I think about love. (I Feel Like Makin Love - Bad Company; guessed by Croaker)
10. The question to everyone’s answer is usually asked where we’ve been. (Jungle Love - Steve Miller Band; guessed by Croaker)
11. Do you laugh enough to cry? Reply. (Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots; guessed by Croaker)
12. Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray. (Bizarre Love Triangle – New Order; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
13. I can see you are lonesome just like me and it being late, would you like some company. (I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You – Tom Waits; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
14. You keep looking back in desperation over and over and over again. (It's Only Love - Byran Adams & Tina Turner; Sha Shinizzle)
15. Your kisses lift me higher like a sweet sound of a choir. (Burning Love – Elvis Presley; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
16. There’s a devil in that angel face. (I Can Love You Better - Dixie Chicks; guessed by Bozette)
17. Don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t take a credit card to ride this train. (The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & the News; guessed by Angie)
18. One kiss and boom you’re the only one for me. (Game of Love - Santana and Michelle Branch; guessed by Bozette)
19. Used to make love under the red sunset, I was making promises I would soon forget. (When Love Comes to Town - U2 and BB King; guessed by Bozette)
20. I was born in Little Rock, had a childhood sweetheart, we were always hand in hand. (I Was Made to Love Her - Stevie Wonder; guessed by Bozette)
21. I spy tears in your eyes. They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention. (Sowing the Seeds of Love - Tears for Fears; guessed by Bozette)
22. I can make the run or stumble, I can make the final block; and I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle. I can make all the stadiums rock. (Making Love Out of Nothing at All – Air Supply; guessed by Angie)
23. Love is all around you; love is knocking outside your door. (Love Song - Tesla; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
24. Sinking my fingertips into every inch of you ‘cause I know that’s wht you want me to do. (This Love - Maroon 5; guessed by Angie)
25. In my life there’s been heartache and pain, I don’t know if I can face it again. (I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner; guessed by Angie)


From UPN:

Veronica Mars is facing a lot of competition in February, so to protect the series and to make sure that as many people as possible can watch the original episodes, we're going to air repeats for the next few weeks. The good news is that when Veronica returns some time in early March, we'll have nothing but original episodes through the season finale - so the goal here is, after this, no more repeats.

When There's Nothing Left to Say What Can You Do?

Have you ever wanted to like Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson but found Avril too abrasive and Ashlee not abrasive enough? Well I have the duo for you, The Veronicas. They are not to be confused for The Donnas or Veronica Mars for that matter; instead the twins from Down Under took their name from the Archie’s. Sadly there isn’t a cover of Sugar, Sugar anywhere on their debut album, The Secret Live of the Veronicas. Oddly enough, the albums closes up with a cover of what could be the worst one hit wonder of the nineties, Tracy Bonham’s Mother, Mother.

The album itself stars off with the raucous teenage in lust rocker, 4Ever which would sound out of place on other records by the other young female guitar-based pop starlets of the genre. In fact most of the Secret Lives of… wouldn’t sound out of place on those other albums. Other the regular themes are here, the other woman (Everything I’m Not), the failed relationship (When it Falls Apart), the good relationship (Speechless), I’m moody (Revolution), bad parenting (Mother, Mother) and many of these themes are repeated over again and again.

One new theme is found on Secret where the girls confront a would be stalker. But the girls brush him off because, “I never looked at you that way ‘cause I always thought you were gay.” Ouch, now that went a little too far. Maybe I was wrong when I called them less abrasive than Avril because she never went over that line. In the end, if you are a fan of the chicks with guitars genre who say things like “When I freak you understand,” the Veronicas are for you, if not, no reason to start with them.

Song to Download - 4Ever

The Secret Life of the Veronicas gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

George Bush Doesn't Care About Black Puppets

Just to show how evil Fox is, this past Friday the network passed off the four remaining episodes of Arrested Development against one of the biggest ratings drawl, the Olympics Opening Ceremonies to very little fanfare or promotion. And all of this was after already moving the show to Mondays before quickly pulling it off the air so they could air repeats of Prison Break. Only to bring it back shortly after sweeps running back to back episodes, and really the “next time of Arrested Development” just isn’t as funny when there is a new episode promptly afterwards, before pulling it again so people could watch Todd Bridges fall on his butt.

But really Fox shouldn’t receive as much blame as it has gotten. Yeah, they should receive plenty of blame for pulling Reunion, Wonderfalls, Keen Eddie, and Firefly too soon, but they did give Arrested Development three season. The real blame lies in the people who would rather watch has-beens trying to skate, dudes singing karaoke, dudes pretending to be millionaires, or dudes pretending to be getting married more than a brilliantly written show. Or blame the awards show that actually said that Desperate Housewives was funnier than Arrested Development.

Even though this season of Arrested Development was a creative drop off this year from previous seasons, which could have been attributed to all the shuffling and episode cuts, but it was still funnier than anything on television not named My Name Is Earl despite what a bunch of foreign journalist try to tell you. The Bluths were still trying to keep their patriarch from going to jail even though it was pretty obvious that George Sr. was guilty and more the family, well Nichael tried to help him out the guiltier George would look. In the end all of the charges were dropped thanks to, of all things, wiretapping. But not that the Bluths could stay out of trouble too long as Lucille got hunted down by the SEC much like they did George Sr. at the very start of the series.

This season saw some brilliant cameos starting with the long arc of Charlize Theron as Nichael’s special girlfriend, not that I figured out how special she was until around the time Nichael did. And her before plastic surgery photo had me on the floor dieing for a while. They kept on coming in the closing episode with Justine Bateman hitting on her real life brother (and if there is anything I’ve learned from Arrested Development is that incest is extremely funny), and Judge Reinhold as himself playing a judge in a new television show with his house band the William Hung Jury. Even Ron Howard himself made an appearance when Maeby pitched her family’s life as a television show which Howard turned down but said it would make for a good movie.

There are way too many jokes to quote so I won’t even try (well aside from this post’s title) but each was well crafted and really rewarded the loyal viewer. Although I will mention, just incase you didn’t realize, the show that George Michael asked Maeby to watch, but was censored by Fox (showing again just how evil they are) was Veronica Mars a show that both of the youngest Bluths will be showing up on soon. Hopefully Arrested Development will get picked up by other network, specifically ABC. With ABC’s alliance with iTunes I wouldn’t be surprise that the show would end up finding a bigger audience online much like the growth of The Office since it’s been offered on the service. One place I don’t want the show ending up on is Showtime, not because I don’t subscribe to the network or would just to see Arrested Development, but I think the show would be much funnier under the guides of censorship. Getting cheap laughs from curse works and nudity stifles creativity. Granted this did lead to a good line when the Home Owners Association (HBO) pulled out of a charity dinner to which Michael retorted, “Well I guess its show time.”

Arrested Development 3.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Think We Need to Pull a Panama

What better place to open a movie titled Sahara then in an Ironclad off the Virginian shore during the Civil War? Apparently our hero of the movie, Dirk Pitt played by bongo enthusiast Matthew McConaughey, thinks that the same Ironclad sailed the Atlantic and wound up in Africa. And that isn’t the most far fetched part of the movie because Penelope Cruz plays a doctor from the World Health Organization. And to remind you that her character is smart, they routinely put her in glasses in hopes of fooling you.

Rounding out the cast is go to goofy sidekick Steve Zahn as Pitt’s goofy sidekick that he’s known since high school. William H. Macy makes a couple appearances as Pitt’s boss. And Dwight Schrute himself steps out of The Office to add some comic relief when Zahn’s goofball antics just aren’t enough.

The film itself plays like as if Indiana Jones was a present day oceanographer. But instead of those darn dirty Nazi, Dirk has to save his love interest of the moment from African Warlords who is poisoning his enemies and sees the WHO as a threat. But it takes a while for the movie to move along and seems as they deleted some important aspects from the movie, which is based on a popular series of books on Pitt, due to time limits. Some of the action scenes are cool including an odd wind-surfing sequence. But really not cool enough to completely save Sahara.

Sahara gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Let the Games Begin

The Olympics opening ceremonies is just basically four hours of Cir-de-Sole type acts filled with similes that relate to the hosting countries that supposable give unwanted history lessons with the majority of the time devoted to watching all the athlete walk into the stadium painstakingly slow while the commentators have to pull useless facts out of the air like the Gross National Product of Liechtenstein. And ever two years I sit and watch every single second.

The main reason I think I come back year after every other year is Bob Costas. After last night I am now convinced that Bob is take shots of something during commercial breaks because his comments become more and more inane as the night goes on. This year he was joined Brian Williams who was the anti-Bob who would constantly bring up all the bad new like how the Dutch athletes are going to be targeted by assassination because of the recent cartoon scandal that started in the nation. And he seemed overjoyed to mention that Torino has the largest Muslim population in Italy. But then Bob would come back and mock the lone athlete from some African nation. And I swear when Bob translates people speaking in foreign language, he’s just making up the translation. I also like how all lone participants from countries along the equator happen to be professors from America. I need to find a lost ancestor that came from one of these countries so I can participate in the luge in Vancouver. Or maybe start up a Haitian curling team.

Even though the games took place in Italy, there was a strange American feel. Most notable when during the march of the athletes they were piping in American disco and 80’s pop hits even prompting Bob to say “If they play Bette Davis Eyes, my night will be complete.” Then for some reason that Bob couldn’t even comprehend, Susan Sarandon was chosen as one of the people to carry out the Olympic flag. Then out came Yoko Ono, because nothing says Italy like Yoko Ono. Then she introduces another of Italy’s greatest sons, Peter Gabriel, to sing John Lennon’s Imagine. Umm, okay.

Even though the games are still early, I think I already have my favorite scandal. Two players have already been banned for positive drug tests. The positive drug tests were caused by ingredients found in hair-restoration pills. How much has that got to suck, not only are they losing their hair, to add insult to injury they are kicked out of the Olympics.

We on Award Tour - 2006 Grammy Awards

There is nothing more disturbing than seeing that American Karaoke actually had more viewers. Seriously, people would rather watch amateurs who, if they had any talent at all wouldn’t need a reality show to get a record contract, than see U2 perform? Even the former best karaoker in the land, Kelly Clarkson, performed the first hour. Yeah, America has gone to hell in a hand basket in the past decade, but this has to be one of the saddest indicators yet. But anyways. Here’s my review of the best awards show in recent years, the Grammy's:

- The show starts up with the much hyped duet between Gorillaz and Madonna. Apparently duets these days mean the band plays a song, Madonna shows up at the end, and then quickly goes into her own song sans the cartoons. What a rip off. Plus I really didn’t care to see a 3-D version of the Gorillaz. And weren’t they missing a member? Isn't there an Asian chick in the band? And as much as I railed on the tools that watched American Karaoke, I can understand why anyone would switch the channel after see Madonna in a leotard. Luckily I taped it so I could fast forward.

- Alicia Keys, who won my hottest chick of the night award, came out with Stevie Wonder to give a way too long introduction, but they started to sing Stevie’s song was cool.

- Nicole Kidman was shown in the crowd next to Keith Urban. Interesting post-break up Nicole ends up dating another midget and Tom dates another giant.

- What was with Chris Martin from Coldplay throwing up the Spock hands during Talk?

- The Grammy’s love to do weird back to back performances and tonights was John Legend leading into Sugarland. Legend did a nice jazzier version of Ordinary People with a full band unlike the record where it’s just him and the piano. I was about to fast forward past Sugarland until I heard someone back stage talking through the speakers. Possibly the funniest part of the night. I wonder how fast that guy got fired.

- Seriously, people would rather watch American Karaoke than U2? Someone really needs to explain this to me. Way too much smoke during Vertigo though. It was funny when Mary J. Blige tried to hold Bono’s hand while he was trying to play guitar. The ending with “Coexist” on the screen was great with the Crescent Moon replacing the “C,” Star of David replacing the “X,” and the cross replacing the “T.”

- Worst dressed of the night had to go to Kanye West with the white gloves, shirt open to the navel and the Kool Moe Dee glasses.

- Wait, maybe that should go to Ben Rothertdjmtykjytberger with his jacket of Bettis’ Notre Dame jersey and a hat backwards. Why did they even let him the building looking like that?

- Was that the little girl from the video playing piano during Kelly Clarkson’s performance? It was great after the song and the camera scanned the crowd and she receive a one person standing ovation from the dude from Maroon 5.

- For years, presenters have pulled the “this next performer needs no introduction,” then proceeds to introduce them anyways. Finally Ellen actually says the line and brilliantly walks off stage. And of course Paul McCartney needs no introduction. Plus he even dusts off Helter Skelter during his performance.

- Wow, this must have been the most clothes I’ve seen on Mariah Carey since the pre-Honey days. But what was with the dude talking from the audience?

- They brought out some dude named Michael Bublé who promptly mispronounces “Extraordinary.” Way to waste you only time on primetime TV Michael.

- Kelly Clarkson beats Paul McCartney for best pop album. Using the good old Transitive Property from high school, does this mean Kelly Clarkson is bigger than Jesus?

- More country music up next. Where in the past while watching live, this made for a good bathroom break, but thanks to taping it, I could just fast forward.

- Okay, the next segment was a little hazy, and not sure if this really happened, it was so surreal, but here is the best recollection of what I think I saw. And even though I watched this a couple times to make sure, I can not validate that any of this actually First Dave Chappelle comes out to introduce a tribute possible the only person that makes him look sane these days, Sly and the Family Stone. It’s starts off harmless enough with John Legend, Joss Stone and some dude named Van Hunt who were backed by members of the Family Stone (no Rachel McAdams though), Niles Rodgers of Chic and… Randy Jackson? Then came a duet between Fantasia (how did she win a singing contest) and Devin Lima who I swear was the dude in LFO that didn’t nail Jennifer Love Hewitt (remember Summergirls? Oh never mind). This is the point where I think I was getting a contact high from the TV because Sly’s stash is that potent. Next up was Ciara singing with Maroon 5. Um, okay. Then out comes Will.I.Am doing a rap followed the introduction of Steven Tyler and Joe Perry who really don’t do anything. Then out of nowhere Tyler says, “Sly, let’s show them how we do it back in the day.” Then inexplicatively Sly himself, who is making only his second public appearance in my lifetime, come out with a five foot blonde Mohawk. Please read that last second one more time. Sly then plays a couple notes on his keyboard sings “dance to the music” about five times and just leave before the song ends. I doubt there is a better anti-drug campaign better than this segment.

- Next up is yet another Jay-Z/Linkin Park mash-up. This was really cool at first but now it’s just getting tired. Well that was until Paul McCartney came out to sing Yesterday. And if there was anything that came close to Sly’s oddness it would be Jay-Z telling Sir Paul to “Take ‘em up top.” I think I may still have been high. Oh and Jay-Z just happened to be wear a John Lennon shirt. Too bad Jay-Z didn't come out during Helter Skelter and did a couple bars of 99 Problems like from the mashed-up The Grey Album. Yesterday not the best song here.

- Interesting after announcing that Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own won Song of the Year they played We Belong Together instead.

- He may have been the worst dressed, but Kanye wins performance of the year with his college battle between KW State and JFU at the Grammy Halftime Show. This should have been the Superbowl halftime show because it was much more entertaining. But I really hope this is the last time we see Jamie Foxx milks Ray Charles memory. Sadly I doubt that will ever happen. It was nice to see the resurrection of Broke Phi Broke too. And how to cap such a great performance, apparently the Gammy’s though a gratuitous shot of James Taylor would do it. Yeah.

- Green Day wins Record of the Year. Yawn. They were so last year.

- How did Christina Aguilera go from the hottest chick on the planet to the trashiest to now looking like drag queen? This is a crime against humanity.

- Even Kanye couldn’t get too made at U2 winning Album of the Year for the second time, the other being The Joshua Tree. Which begs the question, what did Achtung Baby lose to? (Update: Achtung Baby lost to Eric Clapton's Unplugged in 1993. Also up for the award that year - the Beauty and the Beast Soundtrack. I wish I made that last part up. Annie Lennox's Diva and KD Lang's Ingénue rounded out the catergory.)

- For some reason they saved the obligatory old white dude speech for the end. But at least he didn’t whine about music downloads like Michael Green always did.

- I know people won’t like this comment, but I think everyone stopped reading along time ago especially after the Jesus mention, but I’ll say it anyways, Hurricane Katrina was the best thing to happen to Dr. John. Without it he’d be currently hanging around obscurity but with everyone’s guilt, they feel obligated to drag him out to every major event since then.

- The show ends with a great Wilson Pickett tribute, even if Sam Cooke messed up the second verse.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 10

Not only did Lost and Veronica Mars do battle last night, it was turned into a triple threat match last night with the addition of the Grammy’s last night, which is the best award show of the year. Luckily for the scripted shows, the second hour of the Grammy’s was the weakest with performances by Kelly Clarkson, Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey, and Keith Urban with Faith Hill. But the shows ended in time for possibly the weirdest performance I’ve ever seen, but I’ll go into that more during my Grammy review tomorrow. But now on to my weekly Toss Up debate:


Person Who Says Dude
Lost - Hurley averages about five dudes per episode.
Veronica Mars - Hannah tries to say dude, but can’t pull it off.
Winner - Lost


Same Sex Hook-Ups
Lost - Sawyer wants to see Kate and Sun in an oil wrestling match.
Veronica Mars - Dick unknowingly goes all Brokeback Mountain.
Winner - Veronica Mars


Defending a Significant Other
Lost - Jin wants to mount up and hunt down the Others for kidnapping Sun.
Veronica Mars - Beaver gets back at Dick for harassing Mac by making him go all Brokeback Mountain.
Winner - Veronica Mars


The Long Con
Lost - Sawyer cons everyone on the island for control of the guns.
Veronica Mars - Weevil takes the Senior Trip money then sets up Thumper to take the fall.
Winner - Lost

Scarier Arch-Nemesis
Lost - Charlie’s new goal is to make Locke look like a fool.
Veronica Mars - J.B. will destroy Veronica in order to win the Kane scholarship.
Winner - Lost


So it Ain’t So Joe
Lost - Charlie was the one who kidnapped Sun.
Veronica Mars - Terrence Cook admits to Keith he threw a game in the ACS.
Winner - Veronica Mars


Did You Notice?
Lost - Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s aunt served Sawyer coffee. Oh, and think she was also Kate’s mom.
Veronica Mars - Logan’s new friend’s dad just happened to be the dude who lied to the cops that he called in the Logan on the bridge incident.
Winner - Veronica Mars


Lost this week again followed recent trend of somewhat interesting island story paired up with flashbacks that brought nothing interesting to the story. Sawyer’s long con was brilliantly executed except were exactly did Sawyer hide all the guns where people will not be able to find them? There are two very skilled trackers in the tribe so I can’t image it will be that hard for them to find the stash. Not to mention how exactly was Locke able to move all the guns before Jack and his posse got there? In the end I have a feeling that the Others will end up finding the guns before Locke or Kate hunt them down.

In the flashback, Sawyer cons yet another woman starting out the con exactly like the last one we saw, but this chick is a little smarter and figures out he’s trying to get her money. But the recently divorced mark wants the rush of the con and is lured into Sawyer’s world. And if anyone thought Sawyer was actually falling for her obviously hasn’t been watching the same show because it wasn’t too shocking to me that he ended up conning her in the end. Oh, and also Sawyer ran into Kate’s mom too. But instead of Kate’s mom turning to the long con like I thought or ending up being in the car in the end as my second guess. No all she did was pour coffee. That had to be one of the biggest letdowns on Lost yet. Seriously, why bring back the actress just to have her pour coffee? Even if it is paid off later, it will still be too late.

But a show that never fails to pay off is Veronica Mars back with a solid effort after the lull of the post-Duncan leaving episode. This week Neptune was throwing its winter carnival to raise money for the senior trip. But just as the Tritons did their ritual naked mile, the trip money went missing under Veronica’s watch. Weevil, who has spent his time since being ousted as a gang leader by growing his hair out, ended admitting to Veronica to the theft after rolling to school in his new car. Not that anyone else would figure that out as Weevil planted enough on money in Thumper’s locker in addition to Mrs. Houser being caught skimming off the top.

And what better place to fall in love than the Winter Carnival as we get three new hook-ups. We get to see Wallace and Jane on their first date. Also Beaver and Mac quickly couple off after only one episode of flirting. But the most interesting is Logan’s courtship of the uber-cute (and Meg look-a-like) Hannah. But since to her lack of dating experience, I can’t imagine daddy will be too happy of her making out with the son of an alleged murder in front of him. Oh, and there’s that whole, he set up Logan by giving the police false information thing.

But it was Terrence Cook making an appearance at Mars Investigation that was the most interesting part of the episode. In it we learn what could be some very crucial facts about the bus crash. First it turned out that Ms. Dumass, you know that teacher on the bus, went all Fatal Attraction on Cook, ruining his impending nuptials. And she happened to overhear him talking to the Fitzpatrick’s about his extensive gambling debt that led to him throwing a playoff game. Oh, those Fitzpatrick are just showing up everywhere this season.


Next week could be the breaking point for Lost, I have theorized most of the season that the bunker clock will hit zero at the very last second of this season’s finale, but surprisingly, we may actually see what happens next week (granted I’m sure it will hit zero at the end of the episode and won’t se what will happen until the next wee, but anyways). If this turns out to be a dream sequence or something fake, I may never watch the show again. Also it looks like Sayid will be capturing an Other (I’m sure that’s not the case) and will be looking for answers.

As for Veronica Mars, next week will be as same as this week. Or at least that’s what the preview was the same as last week. But I have it on good authority that next week will feature Kristin from Laguna Beach as a lesbian cheerleader. There is nothing that says must see TV like “lesbian cheerleader.”

Speaking of Kristin from Laguna Beach, I didn’t watch her new show, Get This Party Started but wanted to talk about it anyways. From the previews, the premiere episode sent two girls from New Orleans to Vegas for a big party. But to get them there without ruining the surprise party, they told the girls they were going to some big talent show for their singing. Now here my problem with the show, the lie was better than the actual party. If someone told me I going to Vegas for a singing competition, I’d be let down to find out all I was getting was a party.

And as I mentioned a few times earlier, I will be having a huge announcement to make in the near future. Actually, I’ll just tell you right now. But first I need some mood music (cue up Going Back to Cali) At the end of the month, the good people over at UPN/Warner Bros. are flying me out to San Diego where I will get tour the set of Veronica Mars, meet the actors, and have lunch with creator, Rob Thomas (no not this Rob Thomas). I’ll pass along some more information as the time comes and of course I’ll have a complete wrap up when I get back including pictures and the like. I have a feeling this will be up there with the time I was on Letterman. And if any other TV shows are interested in flying me out to their set, just shout me a holla.

Her Face is the Map of the World

Recently, I railed against the music industry for not having any major names releasing any music in the near future. I also hoped that without any marquee names on the horizon, that there would be some new artist to discover much like I did last tear at this time with Anna Nalick (see my review - These Words Are My Diary Screaming Out Loud). Enter KT Tunstall a Scottish folk sing who’s even spent some time stateside in Connecticut.

Even though Tunstall strums on her acoustic guitar for most of her debut record, Eye to the Telescope, it isn’t your typical folk album as she adds a refreshing blend of blues, rock, and soul into most of her songs. The first single Black Horse and the Cherry Tree, which I didn’t care too much at first listen but really grew on me, takes Bo Diddly’s famous riff and surrounds it with a cavalcade of “woo-oo’s,” hand claps and other percussion and turns into the most entertaining song in recent memory.

The album starts off with the breezy Other Side of the World is punctuated by a calming synthesizer that never takes away from the other instruments. And there is just something about the way Tunstall says the word “water” throughout the song. False Alarm starts off as your standard lullaby song that keeps on building and building into something much grander and to crash and start again taking the listener on a great ride.

On Stoppin’ the Love, Tunstall enlist the talents of a men’s choir to great result. The contrast of the voices really work well here. Then on the next song, Heal Over, she effectively is able to harmonize with herself to equal effect. And to show that she more accoumplished than with just the acoustic gutair, she ends the album with the piano driven Through the Dark, maybe giving us a glimpse of what to expect in the future from her.

If one song can sum Suddenly I See, there is a good 60’s pop vibe to it with it bouncy verses and sing-a-long chorus. The song is about finally realizing what people see in a famous girl a idea that can definitely apply to anyone who listens to this album because you will suddenly see what is so great about KT Tunstall.

Song to Download - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree

Eye to the Telescope gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

There’s No Stopping Curiosity

When I first heard that Jack Johnson would be making a children’s album for the soundtrack of the new Curious George movie I had a little trepidation. I am a huge fan of the surfer turned acoustic king but then again I’m not a kid nor have any of my own. But Johnson’s music already is for all ages and really wouldn’t need to have a drastic change aside from avoiding the occasional political song that sometimes peppers his albums.

So as a kid’s record, Jackson and his band of merry men stick to themes of friendship and other social lesson found in other children’s entertainment. For the most part the songs still have the same breezy acoustic sound that is typically associated with Johnson. But without the diversity in topics, the songs tend to blend into each other over time. Although it’s somewhat odd that the downer Wrong Turn, that includes the line, “this was only the worst hour of my day” in it. I guess that it has to do something with Curious George getting in trouble in the movie before everything gets resolved happily.

There are a couple of straight ahead kids songs most notable a remake of the old Schoolhouse Rocks! gem 3 R’s, or as I remember it, Three is a Magic Number. But this time they focus on the three R’s, reduce, reuse, recycle, and you just know that Johnson would slip some Earth friendly lyrics in here. Johnson even brings some kids along to help him sing the song as well as the earlier Sharing Song. The kids choir aren’t the only ones that drop by to help Johnson out, help people being an overlying theme of the album, as some of his buddies stop by to lend a hand as Kawika Kahiapo (Talk of the Town), G. Love (Jungle Gym), Matt Costa (Lullaby), and Ben Harper (My Own Two Hands) all make appearances.

In the end, the album is good for people of all ages and a must own for anyone with kids whose age are in the single digits. As an added bonus, maybe if you get you kids to listen to good music at a young age, they won’t listen to horrible music like My Chemical Romance or 50 Cent when they enter into the teenage years.

Song to Download - We’re Going to Be Friends (Yes this is a White Stripes cover)

Sing-a-Longs & Lullabies for the Film Curious George gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.