You Turned Something so Good so Bad

Ladies and gentlemen, Ashlee Simpson finally has some competition to worst album of the year and her name is Lindsay Lohan who has just released her second album, A Little More Personal (Raw). For anyone who has had to wait in line at the supermarket and glance and the tabloid rags with Lohan dancing on table with the like of Tara Reid and Paris Hilton could easily tell that Lohan has daddy issues, but that didn’t keep Lohan from writing songs about it including the album opener, Confessions of a Broken Heart which lyrics sheets reads like a diary entry from the annoying moody chick in Middle School who just got grounded for the first time. To add to the agony, the song even stoops to the worst cliché in songwriting, ending the song with exactly the same line which started it. Okay, you’re waiting for the postman to bring you a letter, I get it. Maybe you should check your e-mail every once in a while too.

Thing don’t get much better from there. Where Ashlee Simpson at least sound like she has had some vocal training, not much, but at least some. But for the most of the album, Lohan hits almost every note as if she has never read sheet music before and that’s when she’s not screaming at notes why out of her range as if she was auditioning for Rock Star: Pantera. The only time she remotely comes close to reaching the right notes are on the already established cover song in Cheap Trick’s I Want You to Want Me which is the closest to entertaining that this album gets. And it’s only entertaining in the way a drunk chick singing the song at karaoke is entertaining, even Antonio Sabato Jr. was able to do a better version on But Can They Sing? Unfortunately her stab at Stevie Nick’s Edge of Seventeen failed miserable because, for some reason, she tried slutting the song up.

There is also a funny exchange at the beginning, where Lohan says, “No I like when people talk in the beginning of songs I think that kinda rad,” to which someone relies, “I don’t think you should use it.” I had to laugh because they should at least take out the dude because he was right and only made Lohan look foolish. Of all of her own songs, the only redeeming one is Who Loves You which wisely pumps up the techno beat while toning down Lohan’s vocals where she coos the title over and over. At least that is until the ending where she screams it only to coyly says, “Me” afterwards, but that just means it fits in well with the rest of the album.

Song to Download – Save your money, but if you enjoy wasting money feel free to donate to the “Scooter McGavin Is Poor” fund.

A Little More Personal (Raw) gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.