Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2007

This month’s lyrics quiz has been culled from some of my favorite lines uttered this year and even expanded to thirty songs this month so I didn’t have to scale it down any. This doesn’t though reflect my upcoming Best Songs of 2007 that will arrive just after Christmas because I really hate publications that do their year in review in late November or early December thus missing an entire month of the year. For my full list of upcoming festivities, click on the Holiday Schedule on my sidebar. As for the lyrics quiz, leave your guesses in the comment section or e-mail me, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Just a little hint, the lyrics are in chronological order from when they were released so for the first couple think January while the last couple will be more recent songs. And though I disapprove of using search engines to find the answers, I don’t mind if you look around my archives as some of the lyrics have been mentioned on the 9th Green before typically in album review (click on the Terror Alert Scale link in my sidebar for those). Now on to the lyrics:

Hints
1. The very first album I reviewed this year from a band that didn't change my life as advertised.
4. Did this artist really need to break out the black and white for this video? I didn't think so.
5. This video (for a song that actually appear on the artists biggest one week sales for an album this year) featured the artist's old unkle, or so the subtitles would have you believe.
8. This song was intilly supposed to feature Chris Martin but that version was pulled from the albums weeks before its release.
9. This song was released right around the time the band released a song from the Spiderman 3 Soundtrack.
11. As I pointed out in the comment section, this year featured two videos with creepy clowns in them, this band had one (but not for this song).
13. You may remember me mentioning how this singer requested me to be her friend on MySpace.
19. Song from the dude who produced the song at 14 and sung by the artist at number 14.
23. One of the few raps from a band that had plenty on their previous albums.
24. Yet another song featuring the artist at 14. The video was so brilliant I even busted out the rare two day post to feature it.
26. Yeah Nelly recorded this song a couple years back, but it was done again, to much better results, this year.
27. I featured two of this artist's video during the same segment but didn't mention the bad perm in one of them because of her age (and still won't).
29. Two years ago this artist released three albums, the last two years only one (well, and an EP).
30. Here is the other creepy clown video.


1. We wander through her mama’s house, and the milk from the window lights,
Family portrait circa ninety-five. This is that foreign land with the sprayed on tans.
2. Just a classic case, a s-scenario. Tale as old as time, girl you got what you deserved. (What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake; guessed by Monique)
3. There’s nothing you can teach me that I can’t learn from Mr. Hathaway. (Rehab - Amy Winehouse; guessed by Dara)
4. But that would be like pouring rain drops back into a cloud.
5. I don’t need no hands on no Lindsay Lohan, on the same program as Britney, you wit me?
6. I only think in the form of crunching numbers. (Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy; guessed by Dara)
7. It’s always have and never hold. You’ve begun to feel like home. (Look After You - The Fray; guessed by Dara)
8. Dogs were whistling a new tune, barking at the new moon hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
9. Under your skin feels like home. Electric shots on aching bones.
10. She’s like "so whatever." And you could do so much better. (Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne; guessed by Monique)
11. We can’t take our eyes of their t-shirt and ties combination. Well see you later innovator.
12. And I’d wish on every star in the Southern sky for that man and our life if I did not think that. (Tennessee - The Wreckers; guessed by Dara)
13. I was a starling, nobody’s darling. Lying in perfect circles just for company.14. There were people from the city having lunch in the park. I believe that’s called alfresco. (LDN - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
15. Give me something to believe in ‘cause I don't believe in you anymore. (Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5; guessed by Dara)
16. You’re part of my entity. Here for infinity. (Umbrella - Rihanna; guessed by Dara)
17. Get washed-up singers writing all my songs, lip synch ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong. (Rockstar - Nickelback; guessed by Dara)
18. Give me that Sunday School answer. (Never Again - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Monique)
19. You work in a shirt with a nametag on it. Drifting away like a plate tectonic.
20. Will you count me in? (Bubbly - Colbie Caillat; guessed by Dara)
21. Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? (Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer; guessed by Dara)
22. I want a thousand guitars. I want pounding drums. I want a millions different voices speaking in tongues. (Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Monique)
23. Yeah here we go for the hundredth time. Hand grenade pins in every line. Throw ‘em up and let something shine.
24. She was the type to watch Oprah and the Today Show. Be on the treadmill, uh, like OK-Go.
25. Thinks all men are addicted to porn. (Her Eyes - Pat Monahan; guessed by Dara)
26. I’m just kiddin’ like Jason… Unless you gonna do it.
27. Sneakin’ out late, tapping on your window when we’re on the phone and you talk real slow ‘cause it’s late and your mama don’t know.
28. I still hear the children playing. Dead beat dancers come to us and stay. (Tranquilize - The Killers featuring Lou Reed; guessed by Dara)
29. You come for me in the worst of places. You come for me; you come and try to take me home. I’m always in need and it’s hard to be reciprocating. The fabric of our life gets torn.
30. I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.

Previewing Snowglobe

There is no easier movie to write than a Christmas movie. All you have to do is write something uplifting, some cheesy fun, or preferably a combination of both and no matter the quality of the film, audiences will eat it up because it is easy to please people in the Christmas season. ABC Family’s latest made for TV movie Snowglobe definitely follows in the cheesy fun category.

Living in Brooklyn, Christina Milian (Man of the House), whom I like to refer to as moderately attractive, is your typical girl who is into Christmas a little too much despite being in a concrete jungle without any of the white stuff on the ground. Her Christmas cheer does get dampened by her mother, Lorraine Bracco (The Sopranos) who owns the building she lives in and keeps on renting out the apartment down the hall to eligible bachelors that Milian isn’t too keen on. And before you wonder how they can get us to believe the Cuban Milian came from the Italian Bracco, her father is played by black dude Ron Canada (I cannot confirm or deny any relation to Ron Mexico).

Just before Christmas, Milian receives a mysterious package with a snow globe inside and like every mysterious package, this one has magical powers. In this case, whenever Milian lys down to sleep she is transported inside the snow globe to a perfect Christmas setting that is like a snowier, even less complex version of Pleasantville. And pretty soon has to decide between perfect snow globe guy Matt Keeslar (Psycho Beach Party) and the latest tenant Josh Cooke (Committed) as well as deal with the change her presence made inside the snow globe (granted it doesn’t get as deep as Pleasantville, but again it is only a snow globe not a whole town).

Snowgobe premieres Saturday, December 15 at 8:00 and repeats at 10:00. You can catch an encore presentations Tuesday, December 18 at 8:00 and Saturday December 22 at 1:00.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. XIII

- Yesterday after writing about the Hall and Oates Christmas album, I thought I’d hunt down the Jingle Bell Rock video to see if it was cheesy as I remember (it was, click the link to see for yourself) but on the sidebar I noticed another video that caught my eye: Do They Know its Christmas - Band Aid 20. How did this get released in 2004 and I’m just finding it now? And the video is disturbing on so many levels. There is the cringeworth guitar solo from the dude from The Darkness, who has already fallen into obscurity. The weird Thom York sighting. I think I could name more people in the orginal than this one. And most importantly, how could Bono ruin the most iconic line ever, one that he created? But this begs the question, where’s an updated version of USA for Africa? Can we start on that right away so we can have something ready for the twenty-fifth anniversary in 2010?



- The Mitchell Report came out today (click on it view it in its entirety in a PDF file) and conspicuously ran against the Democratic Iowa debate which was announced much earlier than the report. Someone apparently didn’t want the new coverage to be as big with the news channels carrying the debate instead. The report itself was pretty anticlimactic because the names came from two people and previous court cases and nothing will come out of it because Mitchell himself said none of the players should be punished. They should be punished in that none should be allowed in the Baseball Hall of Fame and sports writer who votes for any of them should be fired by their newspaper or magazine. And what is really odd, and somewhat telling, was that Miguel Tejada, who was on the list, goy traded just yesterday as well as Eric Gangé got $10 Million from the Brewers a couple days ago which goes to show how much owners and general managers cared about the report knowing there was going to be a good chance both would be on it.

- Also announced today were next year’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and disturbingly Madonna got in on her first try and no Beastie Boys. Also making the list are John Mellencamp, Leonard Cohen, The Ventures, and the Dave Clark Five. I’ll have more on them when the ceremony goes down I think in March.

- With no end in sight to the writer’s strike, there will be very little scripted shows at the start of next year, but one of them will be Kyle XY and I have a press release for its return. Also I may be getting my hands on another Kyle XY prize package, though the contest most likely will not start until sometime in the New Year. But that is something to look out for in 2008. Here’s the press release:

THE TRUTH IS REVEALED!

THE MYSTERY CONTINUES ON ABC FAMILY’S
HIT ORIGINAL SERIES ‘KYLE XY’ WITH TEN ALL NEW EPISODES BEGINNING JANUARY 14TH

Kyle looks towards the future while the Tragers finally learn his secrets in the first of ten all new episodes of ABC Family’s original hit series KYLE XY set to premiere on Monday, January 14 (8:00 – 9:00 PM ET/PT). Matt Dallas (“Wannabe”), Marguerite MacIntyre (“The Days”), Bruce Thomas (“Legally Blonde”), April Matson (“Quintuplets”), Jean-Luc Bilodeau (“Ill Fated”), Chris Olivero (“24”), Kirsten Prout (“Elektra”) and new comer Jaimie Alexander (“Rest Stop”) all star in the hit drama.

After his journey with Jessi ends, Kyle returns home and is ready to tell the Trager family the whole truth. With every sordid detail out on the table he wonders if they will be so willing to take him back. Once they hear everything the Tragers only support him more and rally around Kyle to take on Madacorp. With a plan in hand, the family heads to the company picnic to help Kyle take down the corporation’s secret machine.

Meanwhile, torn between her instructions from Madacorp and growing affection for Kyle, Jessi was last seen leaping from a cliff into a raging river…but was it a fatal leap? And if she lived, will she help Kyle, or is she more dangerous than ever?


- Another interesting e-mail I got recently was from an anonymous source about a scene from the upcoming Judd Apatow flick Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story that was recently leaked to the internet, but not in its entirety. Well here is that full scene. Check it out while you can before the powers that be remove it (and if it doesn’t get removed I guess we know who “leaked” it in the first place)



- Just in time for Christmas, the price for Veronica Mars 3.x dropped below $30 and I’m sure you can find someone who would enjoy finding that underneath their Christmas tree in two weeks (i.e. me) and the first two seasons are still dirt cheap (see below for ads):

A Very Hall and Oates Christmas

First off let me state that if you do not like Hall and Oates, we just cannot be friends. Yeah time hasn’t been too kind to the duo thank in part to their seventies album covers suggesting that they were the original ambiguously gay duo, Daryl Hall’s Beavis hair cut, and at the dawn of MTV they could possible made the cheesiest of all the cheesy videos at the time. Their bad marketing aside, they made the best blue eyed soul ever and I dare to too look at the Essential Hall and Oates and not go, “Those are some really great song.”

Even though one of those easily videos was the Christmas song Jiggle Bell Rock (remember when MTV actually showed holiday videos leading up to Christmas instead of honoring the birth of Jesus with a 96 hours The Hills marathon?) Hall and Oates hadn’t released a full Christmas album until now with Home for Christmas. And of course judging Christmas albums comes down to song selection and keeping the new songs to a minimum.

The album is full of old traditional songs that even your grandparents were singing around this time in their youths like The First Noel, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and O Holy Night but do manage to put a Philly soul to them. A reworked version of Jingle Bell Rock and the Mel Tormé classic The Christmas Song are the closest to new songs on the album aside from the two written by the duo.

John Oates penned the heavy handed No Child Should Ever Cry on Christmas but is not as depressing as the title would suggest. Daryl Hall on the other flexed his vocal chops on the song he wrote, Home for Christmas which is the better of the two. Unfortunately the album also includes one of my least favorite holiday songs Children, Go Where I Send Thee that always brings up bad high school memories, but luckily the two didn’t go with the twenty minute version that I have come to know and loathe instead going with a more tolerable four minute version.

It should also be noted that a portion of the proceeds from Home for Christmas go to Toys for Tots.

Feed Your iPod vol. XI: Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit

I planned on reviewing the new Wu-Tang Clan album today but unfortunately I haven’t yet hunted down a copy of 8 Diagrams yet, so instead I thought I’d wax poetic about my favorite Wu song, the appropriately titled Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit. Since my formative years were during the nineties, Wu-Clan was a requirement for any suburbanite. In a time when rap was getting more and more polished, the Clan was still as gritty as the slums of Shaolin where they called home and none were grittier than this song.

The song featuring one of my favorite pop culture references of all time, “I’m causing more family feuds than Richard Dawson.” And the song has been a mainstay on my workout playlist for years. The song was most recently hilariously used on Chappelle’s Show for Wu-Tang Financial with the RZA hyping up bonds and stuff and old people chanting the chorus (which is sadly missing from YouTube). Certainly a must have for any hip-hop fan, although if your are not a fan of the genre or expletives in general you may not want to download the song or even watch the video below.

Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit - Wu-Tang Clan

Kill the Absorbing Dude Save the Show...

... Actually, I am not even sure that will save the show anymore.

There was a lot of talk this season about Heroes being in a sophomore slump, but I was in the camp that the first season was vastly overrated. Aside from Hiro, Ando and the Bennett family, none of the characters were all that likeable and Absorbing Dude, Hearing Guy, and Split Personality Chick were down right cringeworthy. What made this worse were the secondary characters were much more interesting and I’d take Radioactive Man, Invisible Fellow, Mind Erasing Chap, Shape Shifting Girl and Eve over anyone in the main cast. Then everyone came around to my thinking after the completely lackluster and poorly planned finale.

Like millions of people who already did so as the first season rolled on, I was ready to jump ship until the show went and had to sign up Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell. Granted that should have made me want to watch the show even less because watching Ronnie recite bad dialogue while surrounded by bad actors would be watching Pulse every week for two months. Well, actually it is worse that watching Pulse every week because instead of being in almost every scene, on Heroes Bell has to share screen time with fifteen other cast members most of which are even worse actors than the dude from Lost. And watching Bell kiss the Absorbing Dude was the most disturbing image in my head this year that did not involve Larry Craig and an airport bathroom.

Then not only did the show didn’t solve the problems leftover from the finale they compounded the problem with letting Sylar and Peter survive the finale and added evem more characters to the already bloated cast. Speaking of the bad idea of bringing Sylar back, the actor who plays him really showed this season why the most impressive thing previously on his resume had been So NoTORIous. And I know I am not breaking any new ground by saying this, but the Wonder Twins didn’t bring anything to the story and Hiro stayed in feudal Japan way too long.

And so we trudged along to the second season finale which I really can’t say was disappointing because you need to have even moderate expectations to call something disappointing, so instead the finale pretty much met expectations. I guess I should be happy that Split Personality Chick when down in a blaze of glory, but with Absorbing Dude and Hearing Guy still wandering around it is hard to celebrate. And the finale hinted for the twelfth time that Absorbing Dude could die when he absorbed the ash remains of the Shanty Virus, but I gave up on them having the fortitude finally kill off the worst actor of our generation once and for all a long time ago.

As for the other promised death, are we actually supposed to believe Flying Gentleman #1 is going to stay dead? All he needs is a blood transfusion from his brother or daughter to reverse that. Granted we shouldn’t underestimate the stupidity of Absorbing Dude who may actually not think of it. And there in lies one of the two biggest problems with the show you can bring back anyone at anytime. What is stopping Mohinder injecting Split Personality Chick’s charred remains and bring her back?

The other big mistake was bringing back Sylar and Absorbing Dude for another season. They had gotten too powerful last season and even though they neutered Sylar and gave the Absorbing Dude amnesia, the chapter Villains will just fall into the doldrums that plagued the end of the first season with the two of them going at each other with neither being all that successful. And speaking of Sylar getting unneutered, when did he actually get the cure and how didn’t the notice the cure was gone and gone after him?

And the rest of the finale, and the season as a whole was ripe with other gaping holes. Like why, when getting a call from Sylar, did Mohinder not call his roommate, the gun toting, mind controlling guy instead of going to the apartment alone and unarmed even though he knew it was being inhabited by some evil, sadistic person? And the whole last half of the season was about The Company getting Claire’s blood yet how did no one for thirty years think to use Adam Monroe’s blood as they had him locked up for that time? I used to think Heroes could turn thing around, but it may be time to jump ship myself.

Heroes: Generations gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XI

Quote of the Week: Um, you know what, don’t even try to show me that Screech porn again, ‘cause a little part of me dies every time; thank you very much. (Jason Street, Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: Christmas in Hollis - Run-DMC (Chuck)

Big News of the Week: Oprah stumps for Obama: I’m not entirely sure how much impact the Big O can have on the little o considering the bored housewives that make up the Oprah army are pretty conservative in nature which doesn’t help that much in a Democratic primary. Giving bumps to book and record sales in a time we not many people are buy either is completely different than endorsing a presidential nominee. Of course unlike Barbara Streisand, an Oprah endorsement won’t hurt and if it turns out to be a close race she may factor into the race. But then again Barbara and Oprah are certainly no Chuck Norris.


Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Coalition Links of the Week:

BuzzSugar: We got all pumped over these prequels to The Wire, debated whether Showtime shows could work on CBS, and asked for votes on the best new TV character of '07.

Glowy Box: Liz celebrated a new season of crazy (Expletive Deleted) with Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, reveled in a fantastic episode of Scrubs, and tried to keep up with all the action on this week’s sweeps-worthy Desperate Housewives.

Daemon's TV: This week Sandie shared some promo posters for FOX's new show, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Araya shared some of his thoughts on the finale of Heroes, and is wondering if he spoke too fast about 30 Rock being back on track.

Mikey Likes TV: Desperate Housewives' über cliffhanger made Mikey wonder how long he'll have to wait for a conclusion. He is far less concerned with the return of Heroes.

RTVW: 'Tis definitely the season if our posts this week are anything to judge by. We introduced a new daily holiday feature, a TV related advent calendar, for everyone out there counting down to Christmas. Then Rae gushed over the Food Network's 12 Days of Cookies daily enewsletter and we closed the week talking about the Psych and Top Chef holiday specials.

Tapeworthy: Vance definitely wants more "Cabo in the pants" on Friday Night Lights (and in his own life :P)! Which is certainly happening with Blair on Gossip Girl . It's not wrong to go to the gym in an effort to get more "Cabo in the pants" (health shmelth, let's be honest here, we're all shallow to a degree or else no one would be watching Gossip Girl) but maybe watching the Food Network while working out isn't the best plan of action.

Televisionary: This week, Jace ecstatically celebrated the return (albeit brief) of Bravo's Top Chef, bid a sad farewell to NBC's Chuck for the time being, and laughed his butt off while watching this week's typically hysterical episode 30 Rock.

TiFaux: Kind of a sleepy week on TiFaux, but we managed to talk about some international programming (that Dan watched on the plane across the Atlantic). We also reminisced about the greatness of Sifl and Olly and told the producers of the next Top Design to keep that crazy dame Kelly Wearstler.

TV Filter: Raoul interviewed Heather from ANTM. Kate wondered why almost all of the Christmas specials were made in the 60s and decided who she'd be friends with at Constance Billard.

TV With MeeVee: In additional to vaccuming up all the strike news, we talked rock with ousted NGAB runnersup Tres Bien, talked "Life" with stars Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi, and sniffed the manly odors of "Project Runway."

(Scooter's Note: I know there are a lot of things talked about by the Coalition that I have absolutelty no understanding of because I do not watch many of the shows but should I know what NGAB means?)

The TV Addict: This week, We figured out how to Save Heroes, slammed TVGuide's Michael Ausiello for comparing Dexter to October Road and gave kudos to FOX's marketing savvy with regards to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.


MTV/MySpace Presidential Dialogue with John McCain: During the YouTube debate I complained how there were no questions that dealt with education, health care or the environment and this forum dealt almost exclusively on those subject and on the latter two McCain did a great job addressing the subjects. I wasn’t thrilled with his pro-voucher stance, but I really can’t expect much on education from a man who back No Child Left Behind, which has turned out to be a bad idea to end all bad ideas. And Curt Shilling is certainly no Chuck Norris (see below). You can watch the full forum on the MySpace Election page.




Chuck: Did they seriously start off the episode with Pimp Juice? Whoever thought that was a good idea should be fired. And then they proceed to misquote an actual great song, the Dr. Dre classic (Expletive Deleted) Ain’t (Expletive Deleted). Yeah, so they really can’t use half of the lyrics on network television, but I’d like to think they could come up with something cleverer than they did. And can I call that the cliffhanger will be a letdown of Heroes proportions. If Casey really takes care of Chuck like they are insinuating (i.e. kill him) and go back to the spy vs. spy between him and the Token Hot Chick that got old by the second episode, it would be a horrible mistake. Now if on the other hand, if Chuck, Casey, and the Token Hot Chick all go rouge and retreat to the Los Angeles underground and even though they are still wanted by the government, they would survive as soldiers of fortune. Then if someone would have a problem, if no one else can help, and if one can find them, maybe they could hire The Token Hot Team. Seriously, how cool would that be? Oh, and of course they would need to kill Morgan in the process too. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.


Heroes: After starting to write this I realized it needs its own post, check back tomorrow for that. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.


My Name Is Earl: By far the funniest episode of the season, but sadly I think I may miss Coach. The second biggest laugh of the week was when the best excuses he could come up with for being in his underwear was that he was engaging in self love. But on the bright side hopefully this will mean no more Michael Rappaport. Granted Camden Country isn’t the best at keeping their prisoners their whole sentences. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.


Survivor: Can we please get Courtney’s dad on the next Survivor? Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Friday Night Lights: Hopefully this puts to rest the Landry murder case. But then I thought last week was the end of Riggins and his meth lab buddy. And is Coach really going to let him sleep in his garage? I’d like to think he would be able to talk him into moving back in with his brother or at the very least put him in Santiago’s top bunk at the Buddy current dwelling. Oh, and for the biggest laugh of the week would go to Jason’s date who asked for him to go R. Kelly all over her. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.


Last Call with Carson Daly: Just when you thought Carson Daly couldn’t be less funny he comes back without his writers and instead of extended interviews or extra musical performances he actually tries to still do bits. Of course the only reason I checked this out was because Alicia Keys and the Token Hot Chick from Chuck made appearances this week. There is something to say that, unlike Michelle Ryan who got more attractive when she broke out her native British accent on Bionic Woman, Yvonne Strahovski’s Australian accent is kind of a turn off. I would also like to take this time to commend Carson for running over the writer from Two and a Half Men and Standing Still. Something that gets lost in this writer’s strike is there a whole lot of crappy writers certainly don’t deserve any more money, and are so bad they should be paying us to watch their crap.


Don’t forget to check out my previews of Oprah Winfrey Presents Mitch Albom’s For One More Day and Holiday in Handcuffs. Speaking of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas (see the full schedule here), I was watching Snow earlier this week which got me wonder how can the improbably hot Ashley Williams not get steady work? She made the unwatchable Good Morning Miami almost watchable and I am beginning to think it isn’t a coincident that How I Met Your Mother hasn’t been consistently entertaining since her character went off to Paris. Can we please get her a new show ASAP? And if it involves her Snow co-star Tom Cavanaugh that would be an added bonus since the premature cancellation of Love Money was the biggest crime against humanity that didn’t involve Fox. I can even live with the bad continuity if they bring her back to HIMYM and reveal she is indeed the mother and add her to the cast. You can catch the reairing of Snow Christmas Day at 4:00.


Next Week’s Pick: Survivor, Thursday and Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: One of the more entertaining seasons in a while thanks to the incompetent contestants. And then you have three of the weakest contestants physically ever making it into the top five with Todd, Pee Gee, and the disappearing Courtney. As for a winner, I picked at the beginning of the season for Amanda to win so I’ll still put my money on her if I were a betting man. And let us not forget the fifth finalist, the mullet rocking Denise.

Previewing Holiday in Handcuffs

Aw, the nineties, back when all the “it” girls had three names and all you needed to get on television show was a pair of dimples. Now the three named girls have virtually disappeared (Rachel Leah Cook, where are you?) and now you don’t even need dimples to get yourself on television. But ABC Family seems to love the nineties as much as VH1 and roll out a made for TV romantic comedy movie every couple months that resurrects some of your favorite forgotten nineties stars for some cheeky fun.

Being December, the latest in the line of movies from ABC Family brings a Christmas theme that teams up Sabrina the Teenage Witch with AC Slater for Holiday in Handcuffs. The plot is an age old story of a wayward twenty something that can’t quite live up to the image that their parent to have for them. The breaking point hits Sabrina, is currently using her college education to use as a waitress, when her boyfriend decides to dumped her when he arrived to pick her up to take her up to her families cabin to meet him for the first time.

Slater just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, instead of proposing to his girlfriend at the restaurant, he gets kidnapped by Sabrina to be a stand in for the shady now ex-boyfriend because in her mind committing a felony is better than showing up to Christmas alone yet again. And of course hilarity ensues. Or as much hilarity you would expect from a made for TV movie. And you really need to suspend belief a lot when Clarissa explains it all to her parents to why her “boyfriend” keeps on telling them she’s keeping him prisoner.

The movie is a prefect fit for anyone who dreads yet another Christmas with the family that will involve questions about where your life is going, why you haven’t found anyone yet, and/or are you gay or if you want to reminisce about those days. You can catch the premiere of Holiday in Handcuffs this Sunday at 8:00 on ABC Family and it also repeats later that night at 10:00 as well as Tuesday December 11 at 8:00, Saturday December 15 at 6:00.

Previewing Oprah Winfrey Presents Mitch Albom’s For One More Day

December is the time for movies on television. There will be plenty of mainstays that will be popping up this month like It's a Wonderful Life, countless A Christmas Carol versions, and of course the twenty four hours of A Christmas Story. And like most years, there is a couple that hope to become future Christmas classics, two of which premiere this Sunday. I will get to Holiday in Handcuffs tomorrow, and today I am going to focus on Oprah Winfrey presents Mitch Albom’s For One More Day which airs Sunday, December 9th at 9:00 on ABC.

Being a guy, I only know Oprah from Peggy Bundy’s obsession for her and Bon Bons and her feud with David Letterman. But it was her Harpo Films that produced the best selling book from Albom who also wrote The The Five People You Meet in Heaven. The two’s previous collaboration, Tuesdays with Morrie landed four Emmy Awards. But despite the December premiere it isn’t your traditional Christmas movie in that it doesn’t have anything to do with the holidays aside from the It’s a Wonderful Life comparisons.

The movie starts off with a very dishelmed Chick Benetto (unless I missed it we never learned what is with the Chick nickname), who stops at a local convenient story for six pack and it is telling that he doesn’t also take his usual lottery ticket too. This is because he is off to his little league baseball field (Chick played for a World Series team) to breathe his last breath. Well that is until he sees his mom. Oh, and she’s been dead for about eight years.

Her death was one of many events that lead him to the dugout as well as being stuck in a job he wasn’t good at and his last phone call was to his ex-wife to ask why he wasn’t invited to his daughter’s wedding. The movies weaves between a present day writer, who is writing Chick’s life story (it shouldn’t take too long to figure out who it is), the day the writer interviewed Chick, Chick’s one more day with his mother, and Chick’s life from early childhood to college to life with his family. This gets a little cluttered at first figuring what is happening when, but once you are introduced to the main characters it is much easier to follow.

Chick is played by The Sopranos Michael Imperioli with the younger version actually played by Michael’s son Vadim in his first acting film. Ellen Burstyn (Requiem for a Dream) is his mom who shows up to put her son on the right path while Samantha Mathis (who you may remember as Princess Daisy from the live action version of Super Mario Bros. No? Oh never mind) as the younger Posey Benetto does her best to give her son what he needs after her husband leaves.

Aside from jumping around from era to era too much, the film is dogged by too many clichés like the former sports star who has trouble adjusting to real life after failing to make it and the dad who pushes to hard as if he was trying to live out his fantasies through his son. Not clichéd are the One More Day segments which may not be a good thing because instead of your usually this is your life and why you should live, momma takes her boy on these inane tasks. They do lead up to a theme (which again are easy to figure out where they are going), but it still doesn’t make them any less inane.

But the story does pay off in the end if you are willing to spend the two hours with it. And with the holidays upon us, which makes some people seem even more alone than the rest of the year, maybe this movie can help you remember what you have to live for. Although if you can wait another week, you may want to wait for NBC to roll out It’s a Wonderful Life as it does a better job at the story.

We on Award Tour: 2008 Grammy Nominations

It is the start of the awards season as the Grammy nominations were announced today. No huge surprises as Kanye West and Amy Winehouse lead the pack with eight and six respectively. Of course it wouldn’t be the Grammy’s without a few head scratchers (Herbie Hancock released an album lately?) and there is no better indication that R&B as a genre is pretty much dead looking at the nominations. Here are some of the highlights, if you want to know who nabbed the Polka nominations, check out the full 110 categories here:



Record of the Year
Irreplaceable - Beyoncé
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Umbrella - Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z
What Goes Around…Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
Rehab - Amy Winehouse

Who Will Win: Umbrella
Who Should Win: Rehab

I may get into this more later during my Year End lists, but this has been a mediocre year for music and this list just empathizes my theory. All these songs are catchy, but none are what I would label as great.


Album of the Year
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace - Foo Fighters
These Days - Vince Gill
River: The Joni Letters - Herbie Hancock
Graduation - Kanye West
Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

Who Will Win: Graduation
Who Should Win: Back to Black

Kanye certainly had the most hyped album of the year and that may carry over here. Granted it may be better suited for the most disappointing album of the year even if it were one of the top five albums of the year.


Song of the Year
Before He Cheats - Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Hey There Delilah - Tom Higgenson, songwriter (Plain White T's)
Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae, songwriter (Corinne Bailey Rae)
Rehab - Amy Winehouse, songwriter (Amy Winehouse)
Umbrella - Shawn Carter, Kuk Harrell, Terius “Dream” Nash & Christopher Stewart, songwriters (Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z)

Who Will Win: Umbrella
Who Should Win: Umbrella

Isn’t Like a Star two to three years old? The requirements for the Grammy’a are really screwy. And could it kill them to actually have the deadline in December instead of October? Do they really need four months before the deadline and when they hand out the awards? It is just strange that a song from Carrie Underwood’s 2005 album gets nominated for this year’s Gammy, but nothing from the album she released this year. But it is not as strange as Before He Cheats getting nominated for a songwriting award.


Best New Artist
Feist
Ledisi
Paramore
Taylor Swift
Amy Winehouse

Who Will Win: Amy Winehouse
Who Should Win: Amy Winehouse

Nothing I love better that the laughable Best New Artist category. Would have liked to see Lily Allen or Sara Bareilles here but they already had your token pop act (Winhouse) and needed to have room for a token rock act (Paramore), token country act (Swift), and token R&B act (Ledisi). Then Feist gets your token Canadian nomination.


Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Candyman - Christina Aguilera
1234 - Feist
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie
Say it Right - Nelly Furtado
Rehab - Amy Winehouse

Who Will Win: Say it Right
Who Should Win: Rehab

There are very few songs I hated more this year than Big Girls Don’t Cry. Every time it would come on the radio, which was way too often, I would think, “Cool, they dipped into the catalog to play More than Words by Extreme” only to have that ruined by he la la’s. Ugg. I can take a look at my iPod to find ten or so songs by chicks that were better than that rip-off.


Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
Everything - Michael Bublé
Belief - John Mayer
Dance Tonight - Paul McCartney
Amazing - Seal
What Goes Around...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake

Who Will Win: What Goes Around...Comes Around
Who Should Win: Belief

It used to be really to predict Grammy winners; you just pick the oldest dude. Then a couple years ago Kelly Clarkson (who is not so conspicuously missing this year) beat out McCartney for Best Pop Album. How Timberlake became a golden boy is beyond me, his album was unlistenable, but I’d take an actual musician if I had a vote.


Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals
(You Want To) Make a Memory - Bon Jovi
Home - Daughtry
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
Window in the Skies - U2

Who Will Win: Makes Me Wonder
Who Should Win: Hey There Delilah

Seriously? Daughtry? Well I guess there is no Best Mom Rock Performance catergory to put them in. But certainly there spot could have been reserved for Snow Patrol or The Fray, I’d even take Lifehouse or The Killers over them. But then again, I’m not a soccer mom.


Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals
Steppin’ Out - Tony Bennett & Christina Aguilera
Beautiful Liar - Beyoncé & Shakira
Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On) - Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani & Akon
Give it to Me - Timbaland Featuring Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake

Who Will Win: Steppin’ Out
Who Should Win: Steppin’ Out

Yeah, I just got done taking about how old dudes are no longer favorite to win, but the rest of this category is pretty anemic.


Best Pop Vocal Album
Lost Highway - Bon Jovi
The Reminder - Feist
It Won’t Be Soon Before Long - Maroon 5
Memory Almost Full - Paul McCartney
Back To Black - Amy Winehouse

Who Will Win: Amy Winehouse
Who Should Win: Amy Winehouse

I seem to be picking Winehouse a lot but I wonder if her British Lindsay Lohan routine will hurt her chances of taking home any awards even though it were her eccentricities that made this album so entertaining.


Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
Timebomb - Beck
Only Mama Knows - Paul McCartney
Our Country - John Mellencamp
Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen
Come On - Lucinda Williams

Who Will Win: Radio Nowhere
Who Should Win: Radio Nowhere

Anyone who has watched any football in the past year knows just how annoying Our Country is.


Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals
It’s Not Over - Daughtry
Working Class Hero - Green Day
If Everyone Cared - Nickelback
Instant Karma - U2
Icky Thump - The White Stripes

Who Will Win: Icky Thump
Who Should Win: Working Class Hero


Best Rock Song
Come On - Lucinda Williams, songwriter (Lucinda Williams)
Icky Thump - Jack White, songwriter (The White Stripes)
It’s Not Over - Chris Daughtry, Gregg Wattenberg, Mark Wilkerson & Brett Young, songwriters (Daughtry)
The Pretender - Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel & Chris Shiflett, songwriters (Foo Fighters)
Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen, songwriter (Bruce Springsteen)

Who Will Win: Radio Nowhere
Who Should Win: Radio Nowhere

Fun fact, Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s husband is nominated in this category. Keep in mind he has absolutely no chance to win.


Best Rock Album
Daughtry - Daughtry
Revival - John Fogerty
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace - Foo Fighters
Magic - Bruce Springsteen
Sky Blue Sky - Wilco

Who Will Win: Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Who Should Win: Magic

It is a little surprising that the Foo Fighters grabbed the proper Album of the Year nod over the Boss in the big category. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Magic takes this award as it was the better album.


Best Alternative Music Album
Alright, Still... - Lily Allen
Neon Bible - Arcade Fire
Volta - Bjork
Wincing the Night Away - The Shins
Icky Thump - The White Stripes

Who Will Win: Icky Thump
Who Should Win: Alright, Still...

They really need to get rid of this category as it is about ten years past its prime. It’s a shame that this is the only recognition that Lily Allen got for her album as it deserved as much press as Amy Winhouse’s.


Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
Just Fine - Mary J. Blige
When I See You - Fantasia
No One - Alicia Keys
If I Have My Way - Chrisette Michele
Hate On Me - Jill Scott

Who Will Win: No One
Who Should Win: No One


Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
Woman - Raheem DeVaughn
B.U.D.D.Y. - Musiq Soulchild
Because of You - Ne-Yo
Future Baby Mama - Prince
Please Don’t Go - Tank

Who Will Win: Because Of You
Who Should Win: B.U.D.D.Y.


Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals
Same Girl - R. Kelly Featuring Usher
Disrespectful - Chaka Khan Featuring Mary J. Blige
Hate That I Love You - Rihanna Featuring Ne-Yo
Baby - Angie Stone Featuring Betty Wright
Bartender - T-Pain Featuring Akon

Who Will Win: Baby
Who Should Win: Hate That I Love You


Best R&B Song
Beautiful Flower - India.Arie & Joyce Simpson, songwriters (India.Arie)
Hate That I Love You - M.S. Eriksen, T.E. Hermansen & Shaffer Smith, songwriters (Rihanna Featuring Ne-Yo)
No One - Dirty Harry, Kerry Brothers & Alicia Keys, songwriters (Alicia Keys)
Teachme - Ivan Barias, Adam W. Blackstone, Randall C. Bowland, Carvin Haggins, Johnnie Smith II & Corey Latif Williams, songwriters (Musiq Soulchild)
When I See U - Louis Biancaniello, Waynne Nugent, Erika Nuri, Kevin Risto, Janet Sewel & Sam Watters, songwriters (Fantasia)

Who Will Win: No One
Who Should Win: No One


Best R&B Album
Funk This - Chaka Khan
Lost & Found - Ledisi
Luvanmusiq - Musiq Soulchild
The Real Thing - Jill Scott
Sex, Love & Pain - Tank

Who Will Win: The Real Thing
Who Should Win: Luvanmusiq


Best Contemporary R&B Album
Konvicted - Akon
Just Like You - Keyshia Cole
Fantasia - Fantasia
East Side Story - Emily King
Because Of You - Ne-Yo

Who Will Win: Because Of You
Who Should Win: East Side Story

I am just going to combine because it is just sad this is what R&B has come to that the horrible Bartender song can get a nomination. And should I even know who Tank is? And it is odd that Umbrella got nominations in the major categories but is left out in the R&B. Lukily next year they will have the Alicia Keys album to sweep everything.


Best Rap Solo Performance
The People - Common
I Get Money - 50 Cent
Show Me What You Got - Jay-Z
Big Things Poppin’ (Do It) - T.I.
Stronger - Kanye West

Who Will Win: Stronger
Who Should Win: The People

Really, this catergory should have just been filled with Kanye and Common. Everything else here is forgettable.


Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group
Southside - Common Featuring Kanye West
Make It Rain - Fat Joe Featuring Lil Wayne
Party Like a Rockstar - Shop Boyz
Int’l Players Anthem (I Choose You) - UGK Featuring OutKast
Better Than I’ve Ever Been - Kanye West, Nas & KRS-One

Who Will Win: Southside
Who Should Win: Better Than I’ve Ever Been

R.I.P. Pimp C


Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
I Wanna Love You - Akon Featuring Snoop Dogg
Kiss, Kiss - Chris Brown & T-Pain
Let it Go - Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil' Kim
Umbrella - Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z
Good Life - Kanye West Featuring T-Pain

Who Will Win: Umbrella
Who Should Win: Umbrella

Is what T-Pain does really constitute as “sung”?


Best Rap Song
Ayo Technology - Nate (Danja) Hills, Curtis Jackson, Timothy Mosley & Justin Timberlake, songwriters (50 Cent Featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland)
Big Things Poppin’ (Do It) - Clifford Harris & Byron Thomas, songwriters (T.I.)
Can’t Tell Me Nothing - A. Davis & Kanye West, songwriters (Kanye West)
Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy Tell'Em, songwriter (Soulja Boy Tell'Em)
Good Life - A. Davis, F. Najm & K. West, songwriters (J. Ingram & Q. Jones, songwriters) (Kanye West Featuring T-Pain)

Who Will Win: Can’t Tell Me Nothing
Who Should Win: Can’t Tell Me Nothing

I am really beginning to think that the Grammy people throw rap songs into a bag and randomly pick five for Best Song, a songwriting award. Seriously, who reads the Ayo Technology lyric sheet and say, yeah that was well written? They should have just gone and made this category completely laughable and thrown in This Is Why I’m Hot.


Best Rap Album
Finding Forever - Common
Kingdom Come - Jay-Z
Hip Hop Is Dead - Nas
T.I. vs T.I.P. - T.I.
Graduation - Kanye West

Who Will Win: Graduation
Who Should Win: Graduation

There really is an argument here even as disappointing as Graduation was.


Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Story Telling)
The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream - Barack Obama
Celebrations - Maya Angelou
Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World - Bill Clinton
Sunday Mornings in Plains: Bringing Peace to a Changing World - Jimmy Carter
Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself - Alan Alda

This is really a toss up between Obama and Clinton and may be a prelude to who will get the Democratic nomination. Of course Cater is still the afterthought to the party.


Producer of the Year, Non-Classical
Howard Benson
• Daughtry (Daughtry) (A)
• Devils & Angels (Mêlée) (A)
• Direction (The Starting Line) (A)
• Five Score And Seven Years Ago (Relient K) (A)
• Stay Inside (Sound The Alarm) (A)

Joe Chiccarelli
• Mercy (Burden Brothers) (A)
• The Narcotic Story (Oxbow) (A)
• Nightmoves (Kurt Elling) (A)
• Wincing The Night Away (The Shins) (A)

Mike Elizondo
• It Won't Be Soon Before Long (Maroon 5) (A)
• Under The Blacklight (Rilo Kiley) (A)

Mark Ronson
• Back To Black (Amy Winehouse) (T)
• Littlest Things (Lily Allen) (T)
• Rehab (Amy Winehouse) (T)
• Version (Mark Ronson) (A)
• You Know I’m No Good (Amy Winehouse) (T)

Timbaland
• Come Around (M.I.A. Featuring Timbaland) (T)
• Give It To Me (Timbaland Featuring Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake) (T)
• Make Me Better (Fabolous Featuring Ne-Yo) (S)
• Timbaland Presents: Shock Value (Timbaland) (A)
• The Way I Are (Timbaland Featuring Keri Hilson & D.O.E.) (S)

Who Will Win: Timbaland
Who Should Win: Mark Ronson

This is a no brainer to me as the sound of great music of 2007 was shaped my Mark Ronson. I’m not entirely sure why he is just credited for one Lily Allen track as I was under the impression he produced the whole album.

Best Short Form Music Video
God’s Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
1234 - Feist
Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley
D.A.N.C.E. - Justice
Typical - Mute Math

Who Will Win: God’s Gonna Cut You Down
Who Should Win: God’s Gonna Cut You Down

Great song, great video, view my thought here: Go Tell hat Long Tongue Liar, Go and Tell that Midnight Rider.


Best Long Form Music Video
Live & Loud at the Fillmore - Dierks Bentley
Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22 - R. Kelly
The Confessions Tour - Madonna
10 Days Out - Blues from the Backroads - Kenny Wayne Shepherd & Various Artists
Liberacion - The Songs of the New Cuban Underground - Various Artists

Who Will Win: The Confessions Tour
Who Should Win: Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22

As much as I dumped on Trapped in the Closet, it still by far the greatest cultural movement of the decade.