I Want My Music Television: 4/19/16

In Bloom - Sturgill Simpson


In my never-ending search for new music I go through Spotify’s Ne Music Friday playlist they update ever week with, appropriately, new singles and songs off of new albums. I usually get through each two hour playlist in about a half an hour, basically skipping all the horribly bland EDM songs that seems to just blend into each other anyway. This week was one of the rare times where I had to stop and go, what the frack is this? I did not give it much thought at first, the song sounded like another country singer who wants to be a soul singer which is apparently a thing these days for whatever reason. But then the dude starts singing, “He’s the one that likes all the pretty song.” I know that line. Is Sturgill Simpson really turning a Nirvana song into a slow jam by way of country music? Apparently yes. Sturgill Simpson even threw in some Stax type horns in for good measure. This song may very well be the first song ever to make my lists of Best and Worst songs of the year.


Yellow Eyes – Rayland Baxter


Sometimes I find new songs on the Spotify playlist, and sometime I find songs listening to my only library. I am not entirely sure when I downloaded this song by Rayland Baxter but it recently popped up while I was listening to my library on shuffle and was glad I did. It also bizarrely sound like it was influences by folk and RnB songs.


Chronic - Phoebe Ryan


I am all for a transformation storyline, but Phoebe Ryan’s band actually seem goofier after their transformation. And I kind of like her better with the glasses and afro puffs.


Motel – Meg Myers


Meg Myers has yet to release a song that I would say is great but for some reason I cannot take my eyes off her whenever I click on a new music video. It is a shame she was not born earlier because she may have been much bigger if she came around during the alternative boon in the nineties at a time when MTV still showed music videos.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/17/16

The Girlfriend Experience: Awe, free preview weekends, three days when I plop myself on the couch and am reminded why I do not watch many movies anymore because there are not that many being made. Except when I went to check out Starz free preview last weekend they had taken all but one movie off their On Demand channel. It is one thing to waste an entire weekend watching crappy movies On Demand, but I am not sitting around waiting for them to start (well, except Ant-Man so I am now caught up on Marvel movies… which will last less than a month).

But while Starz took off all their movies from On Demand to keep people like me from exploiting the free weekend, they did upload the entire first season of The Girlfriend Experience the day it premiere. I was not expecting much since the movie was horrible. Yet is was surprisingly compelling and actually the prostitution part was the least interesting as the lead character as an intern stumbling on some shady dealing at the law firm she is at was much more fascinating. The show kind of reminded me of last year’s best new show Mr. Robot in the show is very cold, you could sub in the shady law firm with Evil Corp. Both the leads sever mental issues but as introverted as Elliot is, Christine is that much more an extrovert. And where Elliot had friends, family, a therapist, and some drugs to keep him grounded, Christine lives in a world where being an extrovert is encouraged and even rewarded.

Unfortunately after six and a half hours on the couch Sunday, the show ended with a huge thud. I would even say it was the worst season finale of a great first season of a show since Lost (if you saw the entire first season too, insert your own, both seasons ended with the camera panning into a deep dark hole here). Really the season finale was basically everything that was wrong with the movie. I do not know where the show goes in season, but if the season finale is any indication, I was a lot less interested had they ended the season an episode earlier. Granted I probably will not see it until the nest Starz free weekend, and that is only if they do not take the season off On Demand.

House of Lies: Oh Veronica Mars, you had to know Vinnie Van Lowe would do something sleazy. But you had to know, just like every other time the group gets split up, they would end up back all together, I am just a little surprised it happened as early as the second episode.

Fear the Walking Dead: Could they have come up with a more boring season premiere? It is becoming pretty clear why the flagship show flash forward a couple months and went straight into the middle of the zombie apocalypse.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the start of the season, Showtime, of all the networks, had to know they could not keep Sargent Brody on the show too long. The season had to end with him get arrested. They just could not do a cat and mouse game for multiple season. Maybe season two is the trial, but there had to be some payoff. Yet here we are at the end of the season and the biggest thing that happened in the season finale was Wendy quitting (and getting a very nice severance package). What is worse it seemed like the writers had this big plan to end the season with a big show down between Axe and Chuck (okay the Axe tearing up Axe Capital and then “going deeper” was pretty cool) but we already had that scene in the season premiere and again in the middle of the season and really all I came away from that scene is, goodness both of these people are really horrible people who deserve to lose.

Quantico: So the big twist at the end was Shelby was driving the van. Meh, it seemed pretty obvious she was doing this against her will so it was not as if the big twist was she was the one behind the phone call.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: This is the second time the show ended an episode with Supergirl charging an antagonist. Not cool. Also not cool was having Martian Manhunter show up in the Next Time On promo even though I never thought he was actually dead. I do think he is playing possum and this was his and Alex’s plan all along to make Non think she was a mindless drone. Also not cool, Superman as a mindless drone so he cannot help his cousin. Seriously, having him off the planet presumably helping the Green Lantern Corp. (though I doubt he will ever hear that term on the show) was good enough, having him join the mindless drones way off in the distance was really cheesy. Really my big takeaway from the episode was Maxwell Lord calling the president “she.” I guess it should not be that surprising that there was not a president Lex Luther in this universe. I wonder if we will get to meet her, if it is someone from the comics, or it was some cheap, hey a woman can be president Hollywood ploy.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: I thought Penquin killing the dog was going to be the most despicable thing he did this week but feeding his step-brother and sister to his step-mother… that is some Eric Cartman level evil right there.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: During my last Power Rankings I mentioned hoe diverse the top twenty was, but for some inexplicable reason, all four Coach’s Comeback were boring white dude and of course the bored housewives ate that up and two got voted through making half of America’s Saves white males. I looked back and in the Live Playoff seasons, white guys have made up at least half of America’s saves five of seven seasons (interesting enough, not one white guy was voted through by America in season four). I do not understand why the producers are letting bored housewives to run the show into the ground the way they did America Idol and their obsession with WGWG over there. It was pretty appropriate that The Voice hit a series low in the ratings for the results show. Count me as one of the many they have lost for the season because I have no interest in another boring white dude dominated season.

Lucifer: Well that was an interesting twist that Lucifer can only be hurt when the lady cop is around. So what exactly is her deal? We already know the Jedi mind tricks thing does not work on him and now she can hurt him. Was she sent, or blessed, by God?
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh Chrissy Seaver, your boyfriend dies going after a clue on his own, why are you doing the same? And if you are going to have Chrissy talking to people in her head, at lead make her Mr. Robot level paranoid about it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I had to laugh when the guy Daisy was hunting down commented on her partner’s “boy band hair.” Well that was until we actually got a good look at the guy and he looked even more like a male model. And that is pretty cheap to offer a trade and then renig. I actually want to know what his power is now.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I have a long standing rule to never believe someone is dead until you see the body (and even then still be suspicious), but I was pretty confident that Lyla Garrity was dead at the end of the last episode. Apparently not and not only that the Kool-Aide is strong because not only did she not call the police when she went to the hospital, she went even deeper down the rabbit hole and now is taking a bigger opposition within the cult out west. As much as I enjoyed Hannibal, I thought its cancelation was probably a good thing for Hugh Dancy’s mental health, but his new role is pretty dark too. That one scene in the bedroom was almost as disturbing as anything he did on Hannibal. And I wonder if 7R is just an excuse to torture Eddie. Then after Mary’s story, I wonder if FBI is more reluctant to take her back to her father.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: In the two seasons they have done this gimmick, one running theme is that everyone on the Brains tribe just completely overthinks everything. Aubry targeting the hot chick was just a really bad idea. If she is wrong, hot chick loyal, now you do not have the ability to split your votes, if you are right, the other alliance has two Idols to play with. Aubry lucked out that hot chick won Immunity, except Aubry came up with a dumber idea; vote out Debbie simply for telling hot chick the plan. Oh, and it gets dumberer, when the old dude tells Aubry how dumb the idea is and he will not vote for Debbie, Aubry tries to recruit hot chick, the person she originally wanted to get out, the person she was now targeting Debbie for because she did not trust with the vote splitting plan, to get the deciding vote. What?!?

That was just comically stupid. Now Aubry loses a loyal member of her alliance, is stuck with a potential flipper in the hot chick, the douchebag alliance still has two Idols, and now you do not have enough people to split the vote. Had Aubry just stuck with the vote splitting, best case scenario, they pick right, one of the douchebags go home; worst case scenario, both Idols get played, they chose the wrong two people to place votes on, and body builder goes home, but both Idols are at of play. Of course it seems like Aubry does not know what exactly the SuperIdol does so she may not realize that whoever they split their votes for could Voltron the two Idols after the votes are read, but still, even if that happens, both Idols are flushed and they are still down an alliance member.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Nina got the ax last week, will Martha be joining her soon? It does not seem like she can keep things up like they are for very much longer.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Well that was unexpected. That is not to say that it crossed my mind that Lizzie faked her death to get away from Red. It was noticeable that she said something to extent that she thought that doctor was going to be the one on call. Did she make a plot with him? It would be weird to kill Lizzie now, basically killed by the guys who were being very careful not to harm her. And he never learned who hired them. Maybe it was Lizzie who hired them as part of the decoy.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: There is nothing more annoying on television these days than the proliferation of hashtags blanketing the screen. Just the show’s name is annoying enough, but it is worse when they try to create new hashtags for specific scenes. Though I kind of liked when Orphan Black let me know to the effect they were going #BackToTheBeginning because it may have taken longer for me to realize they started the season with a flashback. I wonder if we will get more Beth this season, since the flashback did not go all the way up to running into Sarah, I have a feeling we may see her again.
You can downloadvOrphan Black on iTunes.

I Want My Music Television: 4/16/16

Nutshell – Phife Dog


We lost the great Phife Dog recently but there is one last solo album coming soon. I kind of wish the part where they sample great Tribe classics was a bit longer.


New Romantics – Taylor Swift


In what seems to be a trend with Taylor Swift, her last music video off an album is just a tour retrospective. But that really should have come about two or three singles ago because she ran out of good songs a while ago.


Boy Problems – Carly Rae Jepsen


When Call Me Maybe was released, you could have told me Carly Rae Jepsen was as young as fourteen and I would have believed you (she turned out to be in her mid-twenties). With her new album it looks like she is aging five years with every passing video. Whoever told her that mullet was a good look should be fired. But at least she can no longer be confused with a teenager.


Moving Mountains – Skylar Grey


At the end of the end of the last big singer-songwriter era last decade there was a new artist named Holly Brook who put out a decent album. Then singer-songwriters went out of vogue, Brooke changed her name to Skylar Grey, hooked up with producers more known hip-hop music and started to make darker music. It is interesting that her new single sounds more like something that would have been on that single Holly Brooke album than anything under her new moniker.

Around the Tubes: 4/15/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dear Mama, Comedy Knockout, The Drew, Political Idiotest, Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah, Where Am I Now?, Haven, Ray Donovan, Episodes, and Tales from the Crypt.

- This Mother's Day VH1, Flavor Unit and Jesse Collins Entertainment will shine the spotlight on the most important women in the world -- our Moms. This is not a typical honors show though -- the stars will step aside and put their mothers center stage to celebrate the women who sacrificed so much for their success. VH1’s one-hour special event Dear Mama, will premiere Sunday, May 8 at 9:00. Anthony Anderson (ABC’s “Blackish”) will kick off VH1’s Mother’s Day celebration as this year’s host and will also honor his hilarious mom, Doris Bowman. The event will feature multifaceted superstar Queen Latifah honoring her mother Rita Owens, a single mother and former high school teacher in Newark, New Jersey. Trey, Jaden and Willow Smith will also join the mom-fest to honor Hollywood powerhouse Jada Pinkett-Smith. Additional honorary mothers will be announced soon.

- See below for the newly released trailer for truTV's new comedy competition series Comedy Knockout, hosted by stand-up comedian Damien Lemon, which premieres on Thursday, April 21 at 10:30pm ET/PT. Guest comedians this season will include Jim Norton, Sherrod Small, Kevin Barnett, Jamie Lee, Arden Myrin, Chris Distefano, Yamaneika Saunders and many more.


- Showtime will premiere The Drew, a film directed and produced by Baron Davis, that explores the history of a pro-am basketball league in the heart of South Central Los Angeles, on Friday, April 29 at 8:00. The Drew chronicles the unlikely rise of an institution, the men and women who made it possible, and the unifying, positive force it has become.


- GSN, the leader in game shows and competitive entertainment, announced today a new half-hour special event, combining its hit series IDIOTEST with America’s obsession with all things politics. Political Idiotest, produced in association with Popsugar, one of the strongest media brands among millennials, will air Wednesday, April 20 at 11:00.

- Exploring the French iconoclast’s arduous path to creating his nine-hour-plus masterpiece, Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah debuts Monday, MAY 2 at 9:00, exclusively on HBO. Academy Award®-nominated in the category of Best Documentary Short Subject this year, the film includes previously unseen outtakes and features the 90-year-old filmmaker’s modern-day reflections on key moments in his life, as well as his hopes for the future.

- EW.com has revealed the cover of writer and actor Mara Wilson's memoir, Where Am I Now?, coming out September 13th from Penguin, and now available for pre-order. The cover also features a glowing endorsement from Broad City's Ilana Glazer, who said: "Growing up, I wanted to be Mara Wilson. 'Where Am I Now?' is a delight."

- For the past five years, Haven, based on the Stephen King novella "The Colorado Kid" and starring Emily Rose, Eric Balfour, Adam Copeland and Lucas Bryant, has thrilled its legions of viewers with its supernatural storylines, VFX-fueled action and drama. And with plenty of dark secrets about to be revealed, along with new guest stars such as the inimitable William Shatner, Haven: The Final Season, out 4/19, is guaranteed to be unforgettable.

- Season four of the hit Showtime drama series Ray Donovan, starring Liev Schreiber in his three-time Golden Globe® and Emmy® nominated role, will premiere on Sunday, June 26th at 9:00 on-air, on demand and over the internet. That same night, Showtime will premiere the new one-hour ensemble comedy series Roadies from creator, writer, director and executive producer Cameron Crowe at 10:00. Check out the Ray Donovan trailer below:


- After four critically-acclaimed seasons, the hit Showtime comedy series Episodes begins production next week on its fifth and final season, it was announced today by Gary Levine, President of Programming, Showtime Networks Inc. The series, starring Matt LeBlanc in his four-time Emmy® nominated and Golden Globe-winning role playing a fictionalized version of himself, is created by award-winning writing partners David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik. Klarik will direct all seven episodes, which will film in London and premiere on the network in 2017.

- TNT, a division of Turner, and M. Night Shyamalan are ramping up TNT's new Tales from the Crypt horror block. The network has officially greenlit an initial 10-episode order of the fan favorite Tales from the Crypt anthology series, based on the original EC Comics. The anthology series will be at the center of each week's chilling lineup, guided by a newly reinvented Crypt Keeper, one of the most popular characters in the Tales from the Crypt universe. TNT's new Tales from the Crypt horror block is now slated to launch in 2017.

Previewing Second Chance Chihuahua

After a successful inaugural Barkfest, Nat Geo Wild is having its second annual event dedicated to man’s best friend. One of the new specials airing this weekend is dedicated to the smallest of the species, Second Chance Chihuahua premiering Saturday at 9:00. The show follows Laura Dash and Jim Peterson (who claim to have gone on the first internet date back in 1996) who run Dolittle’s Ranch in Studio City, California where they have rescued over 2,000 Chihuahua over the past ten years. There moto is the four R’s, “Rescue, Remedy, Rest, and Rehome.” In the episode they add a bunch of new Chihuahua to their rescue list including one who was hit by a car and has been waiting surgery for two months since the shelter does not have the money to pay to fix the dog’s leg. There is another Chihuahua who was abandoned because of a skin condition and another is one found roaming the LA River. Then there is a pack living in an abandoned building that looks like something one of the Ghost Hunter type shows would investigate.

Barkfest starts Friday at 9:00 and runs all weekend. Other premieres include: World’s Funniest Dogs (Friday at 9:00): Whether it’s chewed up shoes, or an extremely excited dog that tackles you like a linebacker, these cute but mischievous dogs are making their owners ask, “Oh, what did you do this time?!” Welcome to World’s Funniest Dogs. This special features some of the most unbelievable videos of dogs doing hilarious mischief. We also meet the owners and dogs to see if these loving troublemakers are still up to no good, or if they’ve reformed their ways.

Who’s Your Doggie? (Friday at 10:00): Ever meet a dog and wonder what breed it is? Where it gets its looks or its non-stop energy? Every day dog owners across America speculate exactly what their mutts are made of. Who’s Your Doggie? finally has the answer. In this special we take six dogs and dig deep into their family roots. After owners explain their mutts’ curious behaviors and physical traits, we bring in a team of experts to do their own analysis. Then we settle the score… with a DNA test. Using one of the most reliable labs in the world, each breed is revealed – and the results will shock you. With an almost endless list of breed combinations, Who’s Your Doggie covers the big, the small, the cute, and the downright crazy.

How Dogs Got Their Shapes (Sunday at 9:00): Man’s best friend comes in many different shapes and sizes. From the three-pound Yorkie to the 200-pound Great Dane, from a wrinkled shar-pei to the super sleek greyhound, it’s hard to believe that these creatures are all the same species. How Dogs Got Their Shapes will look at dogs from their cute noses to their adorable paws, learning the amazing ways that different breeds’ shapes have changed over time. Not just for show, these specialized features help dogs work, hunt, swim, corral, protect, hear and track. In this special, we’ll use a mix of science, history, and surprising, weird facts to learn all about today’s modern dogs.

The Voice Season Ten Knockout Round Power Rankings

I was planning to avoid the disaster that was Miley Cyrus as key adviser, and did for the first week. The show is really much more enjoyable taking eighteen minutes to watch the performances on YouTube then watch two hours. Seriously, what is happening in the other hundred and two minutes? Sure there are about forty minutes of commercial, which still leaves over an hour of non-performance time. Unfortunately there was no Supergirl, Gotham, or Lucifer Monday leaving me with nothing better to watch than The Voice. And Miley was as bad an advisor as I expected. She single-handedly ruined Abby Celso’s performance with her advice. The Knockouts are usually when people start to breakout, but there was not one this season and we may have to blame Miley for that. Instead we got a bunch of bad song choices that just sent people home (which is another Knockout staple, but multiple people advanced this season with bad songs) and a couple front runners just straight up bombed, I am looking at your Ryan, Emily, and Moushumi. Since he had previous good performances, I can see why Ryan got saved, but the other three Steals ranks as some of the worst reprieves in the history of the show. But anyway. Here is my most recent, kind of underwhelming Power Ranking.

1. Caity Peters (Team Pharrell) – Between this and her Blind Audition, it is clear emotional RnB is her sweet spot, no more fiftieth best song from eighties pop stars. Although she is the only person this season I call think can pull off a Amy Vachal / Hotline Bling that should not work but it shockingly does type performance in the Live Shows.

2. Owen Danoff (Team Adam) – I scratched my head when Pharrell drug out a Billy Joel song that may not even be in the top fifty, Always a Woman is definitely in the top fifty, probably in the top ten, and it definitely paid off for Owen making him a threat for the finale.

3. Adam Wakefield (Team Blake) – Another solid performance, but one small critique, go back to playing an instrument. He seemed to wandering around like a blind man.

4. Katie Basden (Team Adam Blake) - I wrote Katie off early, I was meh on her Blind Audition and thought she was just another in Blake’s long list of Stealing fodder for the next round. Apparently she took Adam’s advice of her and Ryan being Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham when he paired them in the Battle (and then gave them a Paul McCartney song) and it definitely paid off. It actually was the best of the two country-fied Fleetwood Mac songs this season. Who knew that band was big in the South?

5. Hannah Huston (Team Pharrell) – I really liked Hannah first two performances, they were weird and bold, but I really have no need hearing House of the Rising Sun again.

6. Brian Nhira (Team Pharrell Adam) – And we have already hit the wall, his performance was good and all, but I just come away thinking meh. And that was a running theme for the rest of the Power Rankings.

7. Paxton Ingram (Team Blake) – When I reviewed Adele’s sophomore album I mentioned how I wanted to like her debut but it was kind of a bore. That is kind of how I feel about Paxton singing a song off her first album, it was good, he deserves to be in the Live Shows (especially going against Angie who gave one of the worst Knockout Round bombs of a potential frontrunner since Ryan Innis), but… yawn.

8. Alisan Porter (Team Christina) – This was my favorite of her performances but I am still not sold on her inevitability. And the song ready did not the glory note she put in it.

9. Mary Sarah (Team Blake) – Much like the Battle Round, Mary sang a song with plenty o sass, but the performance was not very sassy. She just comes off as a Oklahoma beauty contestant type performer.

10. Moushumi (Team Pharrell) – Halsey was a bold choice, she was poised to be the next big thing last year but a hit never really materialized, but I found the performance a little subdued and lacked the excitement that picking a song like that should have brought.

11. Laith Al-Saadi (Team Adam) – I, much like Adam, have quite a few favorite songs and In Your Eyes is one of them. And it is such a great and simple song it is very hard it mess up. Yet Laith was not very great and his version just did not go anywhere. Adam’s critique was on point about just picking a song he thinks other people would like and nott doing what he does great.

12. Ryan Quinn (Team Adam Christina) – What happened to this guy? His first two performances were really good and this was just extremely bland. I am a little surprised anyone tried to Steal him.

13. Shalyah Fearing (Team Christina Pharrell Adam) I guess she should have won, but I was still a little bored.

14. Tamar Davis (Team Christina) – My eyes just roll over whenever sings Sam Smith anymore. I guess this was good and all but, ug, Sam Smith, just give him and Ed Sheeran a season or two off please.

15. Emily Keener (Team Pharrell) – It was interesting seeing “fun” Emily, but I do not think it really worked as a performance. Maybe Pharrell was going on past performances as to why he picked her, but those were not that great either.

16. Bryan Bautista (Team Christina) – Did no one learn from singing Justin Beiber last season. Nope, just nope. Really a Knockout pitting Justin Beiber against OneRepublic just screams, go watch wrestling for the next twenty minutes.

17. Joe Maye (Team Christina Blake) - Meh, never a good sign when your eyes glaze over just at the mention of their song selection. If this is the last time I ever hear Earned It, I will be a happy person.

18. Caroline Burns (Team Adam) – Poor Katherine Ho, I had a sinking suspicion after she won her Battle she would end up be on the losing end of the lone Knockout montage. The good news for Caroline is that the three previous Knockout montage victims all at least made the semi-finals (including one second place finish) and she is on the worst team this season. The bad news is she is one of the main reasons her team is so weak.

19. Lacy Mandigo (Team Christina Blake Pharrell): I said a I was a little surprised that Ryan got Stolen, but at least he had two good performances under his belt that you can talk yourself into as Stealworthy. Lacy’s Audition was montaged, she was Alisan’s backup singer in the Battles, and this fell in somewhere in between run of the mill karaoke and straight up bad.

20. Kata Hay (Team Christina) – Even though I do not like them, most of the time I understand why some contestants make the Live Playoffs, but Kata is this year’s Nic Hawk How the Frack Did They Make the Live Show Award Winner (and really Lacy and Caroline could have also easily won). The sad thing is, I do not put it past the country mafia to take her to the semi-finals because they have for the past five seasons just blindly voted for everyone with a hint of twang.

As I usually do, I have inverse numbers to the contestants based on their rank to see who has the strongest team and here is how they rank.

Blake – 65
Pharrell – 55
Adam – 55
Christina -35

And as it always seems to be the case, Blake comes out of the Blind Audition with a mediocre to bad team, makes the right decisions in the next two rounds (most of the time) and comes out with the strongest team going into the Playoffs. Where Christina made some iffy decisions and is mostly left with meh. But who cares what I think, here is who the iTunes buyers were spending their money on during the Knockouts:

1. Hannah Huston (35)
2. Alisan Porter (50)
3. Adam Wakefield (74)
4. Katie Basden (144)
5. Shalyah Fearing (155)
6. Caity Peters (174)
7. Alisan Porter – Blue Bayou (225)
8. Owen Danoff (250)
9. Tamar Davis (302)
10. Emily Keener (350)
11. Alisan Porter and Lacy Mandingo (452)
12. Adam Wakefield – Tennessee Whiskey (835)
13. Bryan Bautista (435)
14. Mary Sarah (605)
15. Laith Al-Saadi (668)
16. Brian Nhira (707)
17. Bryan Bautista and Malik Heard (959)
18. Kata Hay (1059)
19. Mary Sarah – Where the Boys Are (1074)
20. Lacy Mandingo (1244)
21. Paxton Ingrim (1258)
22. Ryan Quinn (1315)
23. Caroline Burns (1461)

If you take the average of the peak of all three performances, this is how the top twenty rank (if someone missed the top 1500, I gave them 1500 for that performance and put an asterisk for each time they missed the list).


1. Alisan Porter (52.6)
2. Adam Wakefield (197.3)
3. Hannah Huston (268)
4. Emily Keener (291)
5. Mary Sarah (332.3)
6. Bryan Bautista (372.3)
7. Caity Peters (537)
8. Ryan Quinn (572.3)
9. Owen Daniels (611)*
10. Katie Basden (654.6)*
11. Brian Nhira (663)
12. Laith Al-Saadi (684.3)
13. Shalyah Fering (727.6)
14. Paxton Ingrim (732.5)
15. Caroline Burns (834.3)
16. Tamar Davis (850)*
17. Moushumi (867)*
18. Lacy Mandigo (942.3)*
19. Joe Maye (1107.3)**
20. Kata Hays (1353)**

And putting this raking into my ranking formula to see who has the strongest team according to the iTunes buyers, here is how the teams rank.

Pharrell – 56
Blake – 55
Christina – 54
Adam - 45

The top three are really bunched up while not surprisingly Adam is at a distant last. It did not help that his best chance this season, Owen, got montaged in the Battles and failed to chart during the Battles hurting his number. Granted Moshumi got montaged that round and still managed to break the top 1500 (then inexplicably could not get that high when her Knockout was shown in full).

I have been mentioning how bad the iTunes numbers looked in the previous rounds, so I decided to look back at season nine and they are actually worse than I thought. Alisan is the only one this season to average in the top one hundred, three singers did last season (although Alisan has just slightly better numbers than Jordan Smith did). Then the further you look down it gets worse, Ivonne Acero, Playoff fodder for Blake last season and dead last on her team based on average, has a higher average than everyone on Adam’s team this season (479 to Brian Nhira’s 669). And when you look at the Knockouts, it looks even more worse. Last season, sixteen of the top twenty reached the top 200 on iTunes (Morgan Frazier just missed the cut with 204) with their Knockout song, this season, only six. Zach Seabaugh, who was montaged, charted the lowest at 373 which would have put him tenth on this season’s list, two performances shown in full, Joe and Moushumi, did not even make the top 1500. There is also a huge enthusiasm gap this year as previous round songs are just not reappearing. This season, three Blind Auditions and two Battle Rounds appeared during the Knockouts; last season nine Blind Auditions showed up again, and nine Battle Round. This season Alisan was the only person to have all three performances in the top 1500 during the Knockouts, Last season Amy Vachal, Jordan Smith, Barrett Baber, Korin Bukowski, and Viktor Kirby all did. And that does not include Ellie Lawrence and Andi and Alex who were eliminated but still had their two previous performances charting.

Last year The Voice introduced the Coaches Comeback a great idea in theory to right the many bad coaching decision except the coaches mostly made head scratching bring backs. Gwen was the only one who actually brought back someone who deserved it. Pharrell brought back someone he dumped in the Battle Round (and not even Sydney Rhame who had a very high charting Blind Audition), then Blake and Adam just brought back obvious fodder. In Blake’s defense, with Barrett, Emily Ann, and Zach, anyone he would have brought back would have looked like fodder and he brought in some diversity in what was a very white washed and dude heavy top twenty. Adam for some reason did not bring back Andi and Alex, who had the highest charting Blind Audition and Battle round songs in favor for the person they beat in the Battles and gave a horrendous Knockout performance after being Stolen by Blake.

So I am not expecting much this season. Personally I would bring back Peyton Parker, Kristen Marie, Abby Celso, and… um, goodness, Adam does not even have anyone worth bringing back. Maybe they should let him bring back someone else’s castoff instead like Brittany Kennell. Unfortunately supposed spoilers can be found on the internet and I would be 0 for four with three of the four ranked in the bottom six of my Battle Round Power Rankings (the fourth rumored singer did not even make it out of the Battles). Remember how I said Blake bringing back Najah Nicole was much needed for diversity sake last season because the Top 20 was so white and dude heavy. Well apparently this season is not white or male enough because reportedly (keep in mind from not entirely reliable sources) all four are boring white dudes. Really?!? After last year’s debacle of six of the eight singers people America saved last season were boring white dudes (which is worse when you realize Madi Davis only advanced because her team only had one boring white dude and of course the eight person saved was a country female because the country mafia just blindly votes for anything with twang), you get an actual diverse Top 20 (an Indian! Two black dudes on Blake’s team!! An all-female Parrell Team!!! Even one of the four boring white dudes has a Muslim sounding name!!!!) only to let the bored housewives a chance to whitewash another season? Seriously, they are doubling the number of boring white dudes with the Coach's Comeback if the spoilers are true. Ugg. One I am pretty sure will advance, two I give a punchers chance, Adam, I will say it again, has just completely given up on this season. Oh well. Here are my predictions:

America Saves: Owen, Laith; Adam Saves: Shalyah
America Saves: Adam, Mary; Blake Saves: Paxton
America Saves: Alisan, Ryan; Christina Saves: Bryan
America Saves: Hannah, Supposed Bring Back Contestant; Pharrell Saves: Emily

Finals: Adam beats Alisan, Mary, and Owen

Previewing The Detour

For years I have been questioning networks for greenlighting dramas that sound like they would make a good movie but how are they going to stretch the premise across ten to twenty-two episodes. Pretty much every one of them did not make it past their original run of episodes. Now TBS is airing the first half hour comedy which makes me wonder, so where do they go after the first batch of episodes? Really, the best way to describe The Detour is to call it Vacation: The Television Show. And if the viewers are lucky, it will be much more the Chevy Chase version than the Ed Helms reboot (spoiler alert, thankfully it is closer to Chase than Helms).

The Detour was created by The Daily Show vets and married couple Jason Jones and Samantha Bee. Jones plays the father on the show but since Bee has her own weekly political show on the same network, Natalie Zea plays the mother figure. Samantha really drew the short straw in that relationship; at night she has to talk about whatever stupid thing Donald Trump said that week and during the day watch dailies of her husband fondling Raylan Givens’ absurdly attractive baby mama.

Along for the ride are twins played by surprisingly not horrible child actors. The male half is the kind of person who is super confident that they are the smartest person in the room but is extremely uninformed about basically everything (can we officially call this the Donald Trump Syndrome). The female twin is the closest thing this family has to a voice of reason as her mouth is almost constantly a gasped to the stupid things her brother said and just straight up bad parenting by her parental figures.

National Lampoon was able to create about ninety minutes of entertaining road trip shenanigans, which comes out to about four episodes of televised comedies these days without commercials. Add the sequel, that is eight episodes. The big question is can The Detour keep it up for ten episode and beyond as the show has already been picked up for a second season. There is a The Affair type plot twist at the end of the first episode. Spoiler Alert, it does not involve any of the characters having an affair. Actually there really is no reason to have a spoiler warning for the first episode because the Pilot has been on YouTube for a couple days now; I have even embedded it below. If you prefer to watch it on your big screen television (and do not have the YouTube app) it is also available On Demand.

So the big twist (again, scroll down to watch if you do not want to be spoiled first) sees Jones being grilled by the FBI at the end of the episode for an undisclosed reason sometime in the future; far enough for him to grow a pretty thick beard, maybe a month or two. But before that Jones needs to get his family from Syracuse to Fort Lauderdale for a family vacation / work retreat (or so his family thinks as he gets fired right before the trip). And as you can tell by the title of the show, there are plenty of unexpected stops along the way, no dead aunts or backwoods cousins (there is a trainwreck of a sister left behind in Syracuse to cat sit; though she ends up having more to do as the show progresses), but still plenty of new hijacks including poor hotel accommodation in Pennsylvania (you do not want to know what the idiot son thinks it is spelled if you are native of the state; granted if you are annoying enough to root for the Steelers or Phillies, you probably have already thought of the joke before), a drunk tank, a culturally insensitive dining establishment in the south, a Bed and Breakfast run by Dr. Harold Abbott (like you have never seen before, and kind of hope to never see again), and of course they arrive in Florida just to run into a massive traffic jam which gives the parent enough time to tell their children the very inappropriate story of how they met.

For a show that is kind of a rip off of a thirty year old movie which already had a horrible reboot last year, The Detour is surprisingly not horrible. Sure TBS’s previous new comedy Angie Tribeca was significantly funny and it probably would only be the fourth funniest family comedy if it aired on ABC. But I did laugh plenty of times throughout the first few episodes, and funnier than the much critically adored Modern Family, even if some of it was uncomfortable laughter; the high point, or low depending how you look at it, comes in the two episodes Dr. Abbott shows up in.

The Detour airs Mondays at 9:00 on TBS. You can go ahead and watch the premiere now commercial free below or download it for free on iTunes or steam it on Amazon Instant Video.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/9/16

Once Upon a Time: Did we ever meet Dorothy when the show first introduced Oz. Weird that she barely shows up when she is the star of that movie. But right now we are in Hercules’ movie and he was just in one episode and seems to be written off the show already.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: You know a show is messed up when someone crashes a wedding to reveal the groom’s heroin stash and you are a little disappointed that that is all that happen. I was expecting the huge massive screwed up wedding and that was pretty tame for a show like this. And as much of a cliché it is, I was a bit disappointed that Chekov’s Gun never came back up. But at least the end scene was entertaining.

The Walking Dead: My favorite part of the episode: right before what looked to be a very large Mexican standoff, Savior dude just whips out a spray paint bottle and marks the dude. My least favorite, obvious the ending, as if last week’s cliffhanger was not annoying enough (and no one ended up dying; not that I thought Darryl had died anyway). Ugg, so the question is, who did Negan bludgeon to death (presumably, we did have two fake out cliffhanger deaths this season). Obviously not Rick because Negan wants him to watch the death as punishment for killing his people. I am also crossing out the females and Carl because Rick is not standing by and watching that. We already had fake out deaths of Daryl and Glen so why kill them now? That leaves Eugene, Abraham, and Aaron. Aaron is the odd man out because he is the newest to the group, but I am going to predict Abraham, he does seems like someone who would talk a beating like that for the team.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: With one episode left I was expecting some big lead up to an epic finale, but instead we get a holding episode where the case was still in limbo. Instead we got weird scenes with Axe and Wendy playing basketball games, Lara and her sister paying a lot of money to shoplift jewelry again, and the DA’s setting off fireworks, we get reminded Chuck is into kinky stuff (Red is kind of a boring safe word). There was a small moment when I thought Axe was leading Wendy out to the middle of nowhere to kill her, or at least try to hook up with her, but alas, they could not even kiss when Chuck spied on them. At least in the final moments we got some movement in the plot, first Chuck catches someone taking pictures of him. Obviously Axe comes to mind first as who put the photographer up to it, but the more I thought about it, Axe won, sure having extra leverage is always nice, but I would not rule out someone else like Chuck’s father or maybe even Rob Morrow. Then, after a season of diligently keeping their private and professional lives separate, finally one of them actually broke that trust with Chuck snooping on Wendy’s computer, finding wrong doing of Axe. So just what is Chuck going to do with that information? And will Wendy realize that Chuck got that information from her?

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Fitz’s explanation of the fourth dimension just made things more confusing, and it even made my understanding of Intersteller more confused too. Then their big plan to keep the future is to make sure Daisy does not leave the base and Coulson vows to not pick up a gun until that future had passed. You just cannot keep her there indefinitely; you do not know how long in the future that happened. Then Lash show up and everyone is like, oh well, I guess Daisy should go to what may be her inevitable death, and Coulsen was quick to end his no gun vow. And why did Abercrombie model whose name I still have not bothered to learn even show up, just to get his face bloodied? But we got another glimpse of presumably will be the season finale but we do now know that is someone’s death and it is of a SHIELD agent… or t least someone wearing a SHIELD uniform.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I wonder who is going to stray from the cult first, the father and son. And it will likely be for the same reason: a hot chick. I guess Lyla Garrity is currently Schrodinger’s Cat until the next episode when we get confirmation but she seems pretty dead. But what did Sarah think would happen. To me there were only three outcomes after kidnapping her: the release her and she goes to the police for kidnapping, they brainwash her and bring her back into the fold, or she dies, which seemed like the most likely outcome to me. And is there something in door number four? That last shot lingered pretty long on it.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: We already had the worst meltdown in Tribal Council history this season, so Gay Asian’s faux pas does not look that bad in comparison, but c’mon, why are you leaking the Super Idol info? Information is the biggest currency in this game and he blabbed to his second tribe he had an Idol which he did not even use for his advantage, now everyone knows there is some sort of Super Idol floating around. Now I have to wonder if the girls flipped because of that or if they made a last minute decision because of that information. And if that slip was not head scratching enough, Gay Asian then goes and randomly votes for Jason. What!?! I guess the best explanation (other than dude is just completely clueless) was the girls decided to flip pre-Tribal, fed him false information because they did not trust him not to tell Nick and Gay Asian ended up doing what the girls told him. Should be interesting what happens next as two Idols are in position of the guys in the minority. Does Jason play his Idol next week, can Scot convince him to hold on to it and then convince Jason and Gay Asian to form a Super Idol after one of them is voted out?
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh man was that a cold ending. Sentencing someone to death, say it will be carried out shortly and just bang. Cold, man, even for the Evil Empire.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Since they were not going to kill her, maybe giving up Lizzie would have been the right play and just try to get her back later. But Red seems to protest too much for her mother being dead, it is almost as much as he tries to makes everyone think he is not her father.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes,

Around the Tubes: 4/8/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Penny Dreadful, Those Who Can't, The Mindy Project, Conan, Why Would You Do That?, The Walking Dead, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Hit The Floor, and Earth Day.

- Showtimee has released a haunting new trailer with new footage of its hit drama series Penny Dreadful, ahead of the much-anticipated third season premiere on Sunday, May 1 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on-air, on demand and over the internet. Starring Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton and Eva Green, PENNY DREADFUL is a frightening psychological thriller created, written and executive produced by three-time Oscar® nominee John Logan (Hugo, The Aviator, Gladiator).


- Fallen behind on truTV’s first scripted comedy series Those Who Can’t, well now is your chance to get caught up during Sunday, April 10th’s Cram-Sesh Marathon. Audiences will be able to binge on the first nine episodes from 4:30PM-9:30PM ET/PT and catch up on all the antics that happened at Smoot High in advance of the season one finale airing Thursday, April 14.

- The Mindy Project returns Tuesday, April 12 with all new episodes, only on Hulu. The Mindy Project season four returns for even more adventures! Mindy (Mindy Kaling) faces her greatest challenge yet as she struggles to balance work with being a mom, all while her tumultuous relationship with Danny gets even messier. She's joined by Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) and the rest of the staff of Shulman and Associates as they welcome some new faces (like Garret Dillahunt as Jody, a sexist Southern rascal) and tangle with old rivals like the Midwives upstairs. The Mindy Project continues to deliver its unique mix of wild comedy and heartfelt romance.

- TBS's late-night series Conan is heading back to New York City for the first time in exactly six years for a week of shows from Harlem's Apollo Theater. Host Conan O'Brien last did his show from the Big Apple in 2010 at the Beacon Theatre. This fall's visit to New York, set to take place Oct. 31 – Nov. 3, will continue O'Brien's innovative combination of international road episodes and live shows from various cities across the United States.

- Chicago-born-and-bred, Sebastian Maniscalco has tapped Manhattan’s Beacon Theatre as the backdrop for his third Showtime stand-up comedy event Why Would You Do That?, which will be filmed in front of a live audience on May 7th – one of the seven sold out shows at the theatre – to air on the network this summer on-air, online, on demand and over the internet. Directed by Joe Demaio, Maniscalco will deliver his unique brand of physical and quick-witted observational comedy in a new hour of highly anticipated skepticism, all while asking Why Would You Do That?

- This past season brought many unforeseen, exciting and pulse-pounding twists and turns. With the end of every season comes the bittersweet knowledge that we must wait with bated breath until the next ride. To keep your The Walking Dead appetite satiated, Anchor Bay Entertainment proudly continues the tradition of offering fans an opportunity to relive the ever so satisfying and stirring sixth season. The Walking Dead: The Complete Sixth Season will be released on Blu-ray™ + Digital HD and DVD on August 23. Just like the previous award-winning home entertainment releases, The Walking Dead: The Complete Sixth Season will take fans down The Walking Dead memory lane so they can relive all of the season’s most haunting and indelible moments.

- It's a full year for Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. TBS, a division of Turner, has ordered 26 episodes of its new series less than two months after star and executive producer Samantha Bee entered the late-night fray to widespread buzz and critical raves. TBS's order brings the total number of Full Frontal with Samantha Bee episodes to 39, which will take the show to the end of 2016.

- Fans won’t have to wait long for the payoff to Hit The Floor’s jaw-dropping season three finale, VH1 announced today a special one hour episode premiering this Summer. The special will deliver all the excitement, drama and passion that Ahsha & Derek are beloved for and will also explore the huge finale cliffhanger: Who shot Jelena?

- Nat Geo WILD will celebrate Earth Day by shining a light on the wildlife advocates who inspire us to take care of our world and the animals who live in it. Beginning with premieres of the best short films from this year’s Wild to Inspire competition on Friday, April 22, at 6:30, and continuing with an investigation into the new threats facing wild orangutans in Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge at 9:00, we will celebrate by honoring the people who get their hands dirty making the world a better place.
Full Earth Day Schedule at a Glance:
6:30/5:30c: Wild to Inspire *PREMIERE*
7/6c: Cougars Undercover
8/7c: Mission Critical: Leopards at the Door
9/8c: Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge *PREMIERE*
10/9c: War Elephants

Previewing Dice

Andrew Dice Clay is the most sophomoric comedian of all time; seriously, there really is nothing more childish than dirty nursery rhymes. You would think that would be right up my lane since I was an actual sophomore right around the height of his popularity. But he was even too immature for me at the most immature point of my life. Honestly, the only thing Andrew Dice Clay has ever been a part of that I enjoyed was his act being sampled by EMF for Unbelievable.


But I have matured in my old age, so maybe Clay has to so I figured I would give his new show, the appropriately titled Dice, a try. The show is another in the growing line of fake sitcoms based on real people (but have any besides Curb Your Enthusiasm actually been successful; anyone remember the Paul Reiser Show). Dice is quick to point out in the show that he is not his act and does not refer to women as piglets in real life (insert your own Trump parallels theories here). The problem is that pushing sixty Dice on the show is exactly what you would expect him to act after twenty-five years of not evolving. Dice could very well have been called Jersey Shore: Geriatric Edition.

Sure the premiere starts off with him attending the gay wedding of his girlfriend’s brother, how progressive of him (though his defense of homosexuality is quit crass) but the episode quickly devolves into him trying to win money at a casino to give the couple as a wedding gift which ends up taking most of the half hour. How not very progressive of him.

I guess one of the biggest allure in these fake sitcoms about real people is when they get their famous friends involved. The first person who runs into Dice is Adrian Brody who recruits the comic to help him becoming more manly. And not even for a new movie, but for a one man play (apparently even Adrian Brody forgot Adrian Brody was in a Predators movie to remind him of when he last acted manly). And that is about it. Sure a later episode features Rita Rutner, Criss Angel, and Wayne Newton calling Dice “(expletive deleted) face but it really is not a good sign when Chriss Angel is the best part of your show. And poor Lorraine Bracco, she does not even get to play herself. But at least she gets to play a hotel owner, Michael Rapaport shows up as “Bobby the Mootch.”

But through the whole season, Dice is still up to his old stick, it may not be a nursery rhyme, but in the first episode he changes the words of, “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” where he swaps out “horse” for something I am not comfortable with repeating. But then again, maybe Dice has grown up a little, instead of dirty nursery rhymes; he is now making dirty Shakespeare monologues. I guess that is progress.

Dice airs Sundays at 9:30 on Showtime. If you have Showtime On Demand or Showtime Anywhere, you can watch all six episode starting Sunday.

Previewing House of Lies: Season Five

Last season on House of Lies, Marty learned Jeanie sold him out and basically he was up front about firing her after he got Kaan and Associates up and running and she basically could not go anywhere else as most firms are not in the practice of hiring very pregnant women. Not surprisingly, by the time Marty reached his goal, he had a change of heart and decided not to can his baby mama. What was surprising was that Jeanie turned him down to accept a job in the cooperate drug world.

But hey, why hold a grudge when there is money to be made. Despite the vast amount of water flowing under that bridge, Kaan and Associates are now consulting for Jeanie’s new company. Despite the shared child, both have moved on personally. Jeanie is now dating someone at her boner pill job played by Ken Marino (yes, you get to see Veronica Mars have sex with Vinnie Van Lowe). While Marino may be as far as you can get from Marty, Marty on the other hand has replaced Jeanie with another hot blonde. Except this one is an Instagram personality who wears less clothing.

While professionally, Kaan and Associates is booming, which leads to the return of Skip Gallweather. If that name sound familiar, it was one of the names on the masthead that Marty and the pod worked at in the early season. Sure Marty sank that firm, but again, if there is money to be made, that bridge can be built pretty easily. But really, the main reason to watch the new season is to watch Jeanie rap with Larry Bird (the alien from The Neighbors, not the actual basketball legend) which may be the best scene in the history of the show.

House of Lies airs Sundays at 9:00 on Showtime.

Previewing America's Greatest Makers

Mark Burnett was the first to bring reality television to the American networks with Survivor and now has four successful reality shows on three networks and he is not resting on his laurels (his name is actually on twelve shows currently in production). This time he is partnering with TNT for his newest show America’s Greatest Makers. With a title like that you may think, well, that kind of sounds like one of his other shows Shark Tank, and you will be right. Actually it kind of combines the elements of two of his shows, Shark Tank and The Voice.

Much like Shark Tank, contestants are pitching products, but instead of hoping for seed money, they must get three of the four judges (sorry, no spinning chairs, just a yes or no via a tablet, but there are lights on the floor like The Voice) to advance them to the next round with the last team standing getting a million dollars to fund their product. Much like The Voice, there is a finite number of spots in round two, fifteen (so sorry anyone who pitches late, maybe you get a better spot next season; and TNT does run two ads about applying for a second season so they are feeling pretty confident).

The four judges that each pitcher has to impress include Carol Roth, an on air commentator on CNBC where she covers big and small business, the economy, current events, politics, and pop culture. Kevin Pereira who I guess is best known for being having Olivia Munn as a sidekick on Attack of the Show and now is the co-host of Hack My Live. Brian Krzanich is the CEO of Intel (the subtitle of America’s Greatest Makers is actually “An Intel Experience”). The fourth chair is going to be a revolving door of guest judges. First up is TNT basketball commentator Kenny Smith and will also include his colleague Shaquille O’Neal, founder of Arduino Massimo Banzi, The Big Bang Theory’ss Mayim Bialik, and host of Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe.

Sure The Voice annoyingly makes its show more and more about the coaches, but is the contestants that really make the show and without good products, there is no America’s Greatest Makers. One thing I noticed in the first hour (aside from a very The Voice like sequencing of exactly on failed contestant per hour and a group of montage victims who advance but get about five seconds of screen time) is all but one of six groups that pitch in the first episode involve apps (the sixth is a light up jacket). Of all the products pitched in the first episode the one that piqued my interest was the Slapband. You mind might vaguely think of those bracelets in the eighties that high school girls would obsessively slap on their writs before the fad went away a year later, that is exactly what these are except this will give you your blood pressure eliminating those annoying arm pump things we have to use now. And of course all the information these collect get collected on an app on your smartphone.

When it comes down to it, America’s Greatest Makers just takes Shark Tank and puts in the competition reality show format. The first two episodes are where the contestants give their opening pitches. Then there are five “Make or Break Round,” where one team in each episode advances to the finale. Then the eighth and final episode, the five finalists bring their refined devices to the panel one last time for the chance to win one million dollar and the title America’s Greatest Maker. So if you like Shark Tank but want to spend a little more time with the inventors, you will probably enjoy America’s Greatest Makers.

America’s Greatest Makers airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on TNT.

I Want My Music Television: 4/4/16

Dangerous Woman – Ariana Grande


Ariana Grande is just cheesy fun but I really do not like it when she tries to be sexy because it just comes across as a middle schooler playing dress up.


Kiss it Better – Rihanna


Now for an actual dangerous woman who does not need to try to be sexy. And for the second video in a row, Rihanna opts for the see-through clothing which actually leaves even less to the imagination than the Work video.


Real People – Ice Cube and Common


Who would have guessed in the early nineties that Ice Cube would be on the same track as Common? And the track would come a quarter century after they both started for a crappy movie, and the song actually does not suck?


I Need Never Get Old – Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats


Aw, studio hijinks from Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats. And since they bring it up, I kind of wish the song actually had cowbell.

Previewing The Story of God with Morgan Freemaan

God bless Morgan Freeman, the guy may be well past retirement age but still has four movies slated for release this year not to mention his growing number of narrator jobs. For the past six years he has been the voice and face of Through the Wormhole and now he is adding another hosting job to his resume in another otherworldly subject matter, The Story of God, premiering tonight on the National Geographic Channel.

This time around, Freeman is actually going across the globe to see how people celebrated God throught the years, whatever they called the entity. Each episode of The Story of Godwill center on one big question about the divine, from the mystery of creation, to the true power of miracles, to the promise of resurrection. The first episode deals with the view of the afterlife which takes Freeman from the pyramids of Egypt, to Jerusalem, currently the crossroads of three religions, where Jesus is believed to die in a time when everyone was Jewish. He also travels from Mexico to view the Day of the Dead, combining Aztec and Catholicism beliefs, to India where the locals believe in reincarnation. The episode ends in what may be the future of the afterlife: implanting our memories into artificial intelligence so we can live forever.

Future episodes of The Story of God focus on Creation – Are there similarities among the religious creation stories from around the world? How do they compare with the scientific theory of the creation of the cosmos and the dawn of civilization?. Who Is God? – How has the perception of God evolved over human history? Is God just an idea, and if so, can we find evidence of a divine presence in our brains? Evil – What is the root of evil and how has our idea of it evolved over the millennia? Is the devil real? The birth of religion may be inextricably tied to the need to control evil. Miracles – Are miracles real? For many believers, miracles are the foundation of their faith. Others regard miracles as merely unlikely events on which our brains impose divine meaning. Belief in miracles, however we define them, could be what gives us hope and drives us to turn possibility into reality. And the End of Days – Violent upheaval and fiery judgment fill popular imagination, but was the lore of apocalypse born out of the strife that plagued the Middle East two millennia ago? The true religious meaning of the apocalypse may not be a global war, but an inner revelation.

The Story of God with Morgan Freeman airs Sundays at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/2/16

Shameless: You had to know Frank paying for the wedding was too good to be true, something bad had to happen, it just had to. But murder for hire? Oh Frank. And it just has to happen at the wedding right? Should make for a memorable season finale next week.

The Walking Dead: After the crap they pulled with Glen, I juwst cannot believe they would kill Daryl like that. And not to get too Zeputer film, the blood does not even look like it came from Darul’s direction.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: Man, these guys are cold, and this is the very reason I could not make it in the financial game or politics. On one side you got Axe exploiting the health of an employing for financial gain while Chuck just goads Anthony Edwards into retirement, and then still sends the FBI after him… while singing He’s a Jolly Good Fellow at his retirement party. Double ouch. Still I am more fascinated by the silent war being waged by the wives than the manhood measuring contest of the men. It seems like Wendy figured out there was something else going on behind Donnie’s death while Lara seems to figured out that Wendy know knows Donnie was being used as a pawn. I am beginning to think one of these wives are going to bring down the other man’s husband, the big question is who.

Quantico: Well I was totally wrong about the terrorist attack being a sham. Oh well.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Nice crack at The CW but kind of a useless cameo by The Flash. Supposedly he beats a supervillain that can harness electricity but gets knocked out by one on this Earth. When Supergirl saved the helicopter, I actually thought they were going to go Spider-Man 2 with the crowd caring her. Oh well. All the racially diverse CW cast members can stay on their Earths now.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Lucifer: That was not Rebecca De Mornay as Chloe’s mother. I saw her name in the credits, but I just do not believe that was Risky Business / The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rebecca De Mornay. Nope.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Holy Smash Williams sighting! (I am sure there is a Hulk joke in there somewhere.) That is two this month. And it came at the right time jut as Trya Collette got written off the how. Hey, maybe Smash can help out on that show.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: They danced around the word in the premiere but the non-members really liked using the “Cult” word in the second episode. Within seconds of meeting them, the hedge fund manager, the hot classmate (the only thing more persuasive than cults are hot chick; Lyla Garrity could certainly get me to do more than eat meat), and the law enforcement guys all used it. But the episode basically ended the same way as the first, Eddie has weird visions of the ill leader (which we do learn is real), and Cal showing his dark side after spending most of the episode being the cheery cult leader.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: The merge is supposed to be the most important episode of the season, the point where two tribes come together and try to figure a way to get rid of the other side. But the thing is, you kind of know how the vote is going to go down about ninety percent of the time before the title sequence runs. This is one of the few times there has been actual intrigue going into the merge with the Brains on one side, the Brawn on the other, and the Beauty in the middle. Oh, and there were three Idols floating around, as well as the slim chance two would be combined to create a Super Idol. Then, what seemed to be right before Tribal, the two waffling Beauties decided to side with the Brawn to blindside a Brain, which made me think, oooo, if they are giving that away, something big is about to happen. And something big did, just not what I was hoping for. You never want to see someone pulled from the game, and certainly not before what looked to be an explosive Tribal Council. Since they told us, we can guess that Aubrey would get seven votes, Scot or Bounty Hunter gets four, so the big question, would have Neil played his Idol? Would he have guessed right? Had he and Scot gets the most votes that count, could he have been able to convince Gay Asian and Bounty Hunter to give up their Idols to save him? Le sigh. We will never know. And poor Aubrey, her clostest ally gets pulled and he does not even give her his Idol. But at least she is getting some antibiotics. If I am Scot, I am wondering why she gets some, but not me?
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

Vikings: Um, so was that Floki dreaming of having sex with Ragnor’s wife, and occasionally morphing into the mysterious dude who only hows up when Ragnor is gone, or was that Ragnor’s wife imagining having sex with two different dudes who is not her husband? It is kind of weird either way.
You can download Vikings on iTunes.

Around the Tubes: 4/1/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Last Ship, W. Kamau Bell: Semi-Prominent Negro, Behind the Movie, Shameless, Billions, Conan, 2016 TCM Classic Film Festival, Virginmarys, MTV Movie Awards, and Famously Single.

- The wait is nearly over. TNT's epic drama The Last Ship – one of last summer's Top 5 scripted series on basic cable among total viewers, adults 18-49 and adults 25-54 – is preparing to set sail again in its quest to save humanity after a devastating pandemic with a two-hour premiere this summer.


- Critically-acclaimed socio-political comedian W. Kamau Bell stars in his first solo stand-up special W. Kamau Bell: Semi-Prominent Negro premiering Friday, April 29th at 10 p.m. on Showtime on-air, online, on demand and over the internet. Directed by Morgan Spurlock (the Oscar-nominated director of Super Size Me and Freakonomics) and filmed before a live audience at the Roulette Theater in Brooklyn, the film features his uniquely insightful and hilarious views on a host of social and political issues such as gentrification, marriage equality, “mixed-race” children and doing Black children’s hair just to name a few. In Semi-Prominent Negro, Bell confirms his stature as one of the leading cultural critics of our time.

- VH1 is partnering with hip hop legend and producer Ice Cube and Chicago native and Academy Award-winning artist Common, for a one-of-kind community town hall in Chicago. The special Behind The Movie: ‘Exploring Chicago with the Cast of ‘Barbershop: The Next Cut’ will premiere Monday, April 11 at 10 PM on VH1.

- Showtime will be offering catch-up marathons of its hit series Shameless and Billions on-air, ahead of their season finales on Sunday, April 3rd at 9:00 and Sunday, April 10th at 10:00, respectively. The full seasons to-date of both series are also available now on the SHOWTIME streaming service, on Showtime Anytime and Showtime On Demand. Starting this Sunday, April 3rd at 8 a.m. ET/PT, SHOWTIME subscribers can view the first eleven episodes of the sixth season of Shameless , starring Oscar® nominee and Emmy® winner William H. Macy and Golden Globe® nominee Emmy Rossum. Then, on Sunday, April 10th starting at 9 a.m. ET/PT, Showtime will air the first season to-date of the smash hit drama Billions, starring Oscar nominee and Emmy and Golden Globe® winner Paul Giamatti and Emmy and Golden Globe winner Damian Lewis.

- TBS's late-night series CONAN is heading to Asia for the first time ever for a special extended episode shot on location in South Korea. Conan in Korea, starring Conan O'Brien, is set to premiere Saturday, April 9, at 11:00, exclusively on TBS. O'Brien recently caused quite a stir when he arrived in Seoul, South Korea, to the cheers of thousands of screaming fans. That festive welcome kicked off a weeklong trip in which he was joined by Korean-American actor and The Walking Dead star Steven Yuen. The two explored various parts of the country, including the Korean Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) and the Joint Security Area (JSA). O'Brien and Yuen also teamed up with music sensation J.Y. Park to film a K-Pop music video.

- Turner Classic Movies (TCM) announced today that renowned actor Burt Reynolds is set to attend the 2016 TCM Classic Film Festival, taking place in Hollywood April 28 – May 1, to participate in a sit-down interview about his life and career. In addition to the interview, Reynolds will be on-hand to introduce a screening of The Longest Yard (1974), for which he received a Golden Globe® nomination for Best Actor. The interview will be taped Saturday, April 30 in front of a live audience of festival pass holders at The Ricardo Montalbán Theatre.

- Hailing from Macclesfield, England, the Virginmarys make anthems that scream with all the potent sound and fury of modern punk acts, brimming with the honesty of prime British rock of the early 1970’s, before the wizards and capes overcame the attack and dynamic.



- MTV this week announced that pop superstar Ariana Grande will make her MTV Movie Awards debut to perform her new smash single Dangerous Woman. Colors and New Americana singer/songwriter Halsey will also perform her new song Castle from the soundtrack for the forthcoming Universal release, The Huntsman: Winter’s War. Hosted by Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart, the 2016 MTV Movie Awards will air on Sunday, April 10 at 8:00 from the backlot of Warner Bros. Studios in Burbank, Calif.

- Dating is hard enough, but dating as a celebrity? Nearly impossible – until now. E! Entertainment exposes the fascinating romantic lives of Hollywood’s most notorious daters when Famously Single premieres on Tuesday, June 14 at 10:00. In the all-new series, eight celebrities going through relationship rehab live under one roof in downtown Los Angeles and explore their romantic issues together. Through fun challenges and exercises their fame is stripped away and viewer’s will witness them untangle their most private emotional experiences, ripped straight out of tabloid headlines.

Previewing The Path

House of Cards was a game changer for streaming sites; it came out a swept most of the major television awards in its first year. Sure there have been shows made for the internet since high speed internet became widespread but before House of Cards they were called webseries that looked cheap and most were under ten minutes. But House of Cards was considered a television series that you did not need a television to watch and soon every streaming site were producing television quality series to get eyeballs to their site. Seriously, Playstation Plus has its own series. Sure, like every boon, there were some high profile bust; Yahoo! Screen who resurrected Community has already folded after a $42 million write down.

Hulu started out as a place to watch last night’s episode that you missed on three of the big four networks (CBS, the ratings leader at the time skipped the partnership because they were crushing everyone else but now has its own standalone streaming site with an internet exclusive Star Trek series coming later this year). They had some of the webseries quality type shows (The Hot Housewives series is fun but it certainly is not winning any awards) but finally started throwing some real money around last year with comedies like the Billy Eichner starring Difficult People and Casual from Oscar Best Director nominee Jason Reitman.

Hulu switches its attention to drama this year with more big names. First up was the J.J. Abrams and Stephen King produced and James Franco starring 11.22.63. Since I have been J.J. adverse since the end of Lost, I was much more interesting in their next big swing at drama The Path created by Jason Katims, executive producer of Friday Night Light and Parenthood, and starring two guys coming off high profile television gigs, Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) and Hugh Dancy (Hannibal).

I have long called Parenthood the blue state version of Friday Night Lights, if that is true, The Path may be the messed up version of Friday Night Lights. At the heart of all Katims show is family, Friday Night Lights had the Taylors, and in a macro sense Dillon football was a surrogate family. That is the case for The Path, here there is the Lane’s (Paul and Michelle Monahan, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang) but their larger family is not football but a cult (though some would argue Texas football is very cult-like) which Dancy is running while the leader is off adding more rungs to their “ladder” which you will quickly equate to other real life cults.

The series starts off after a tornado hits New Hampshire and Dancy has come to help… and recruited and finds a lost soul and drug addict in Emma Greenwald (Mandy Milkovich number 2 on Shameless) whom he brings back to his New York compound. Early on we also meet Sarah Jones (Alcatraz) who is running from someone, exactly who you think, and by the end of the first episode runs into someone you do not expect. Rockmond Dunbar (Terriers) shows up in the second episode as an FBI agent suspicious of the group for descending on the area hit by the tornado. And since this is a Katims show, of course there is a Dillon alumni cameo, this time in the form of Lyla Garrity doing the hippy dancing (she does do more later in the season).

Netflix completely changed the way television is done, from season and episode lengths to even how the shows are consumed, just air dropping an entire season at once. Despite having the advantages of being a streaming site, Hulu wants to be an old school television network. I do appreciate they still release one episode a week (well they did released the first two episodes today, but presumable just one a week after that). It can be annoying asking people which episode of Daredevil they are before you can talk about it. But I wonder if The Path could have benefited from playing around with the format. It still feels like a Showtime show, well if Showtime had commercial breaks (of course you can pay a couple dollars extra for the ad-free version of Hulu). But really the first season of The Path seemed to go on too long with the middle episodes dragging a bit. It is really should have been a six or seven episode season that got stretched into ten because prestige cable shows run ten or twelve episode. And with those middling middle episode, the show may have been better off if you could binge watch it (of course if you wait nine weeks, you will be able to do that). Those minor gripes aside, The Path is the first show worth paying Hulu for.

The Path is currently available on Hulu with the first two episodes now and new episodes every Wednesday.