57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/17/16

The Girlfriend Experience: Awe, free preview weekends, three days when I plop myself on the couch and am reminded why I do not watch many movies anymore because there are not that many being made. Except when I went to check out Starz free preview last weekend they had taken all but one movie off their On Demand channel. It is one thing to waste an entire weekend watching crappy movies On Demand, but I am not sitting around waiting for them to start (well, except Ant-Man so I am now caught up on Marvel movies… which will last less than a month).

But while Starz took off all their movies from On Demand to keep people like me from exploiting the free weekend, they did upload the entire first season of The Girlfriend Experience the day it premiere. I was not expecting much since the movie was horrible. Yet is was surprisingly compelling and actually the prostitution part was the least interesting as the lead character as an intern stumbling on some shady dealing at the law firm she is at was much more fascinating. The show kind of reminded me of last year’s best new show Mr. Robot in the show is very cold, you could sub in the shady law firm with Evil Corp. Both the leads sever mental issues but as introverted as Elliot is, Christine is that much more an extrovert. And where Elliot had friends, family, a therapist, and some drugs to keep him grounded, Christine lives in a world where being an extrovert is encouraged and even rewarded.

Unfortunately after six and a half hours on the couch Sunday, the show ended with a huge thud. I would even say it was the worst season finale of a great first season of a show since Lost (if you saw the entire first season too, insert your own, both seasons ended with the camera panning into a deep dark hole here). Really the season finale was basically everything that was wrong with the movie. I do not know where the show goes in season, but if the season finale is any indication, I was a lot less interested had they ended the season an episode earlier. Granted I probably will not see it until the nest Starz free weekend, and that is only if they do not take the season off On Demand.

House of Lies: Oh Veronica Mars, you had to know Vinnie Van Lowe would do something sleazy. But you had to know, just like every other time the group gets split up, they would end up back all together, I am just a little surprised it happened as early as the second episode.

Fear the Walking Dead: Could they have come up with a more boring season premiere? It is becoming pretty clear why the flagship show flash forward a couple months and went straight into the middle of the zombie apocalypse.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the start of the season, Showtime, of all the networks, had to know they could not keep Sargent Brody on the show too long. The season had to end with him get arrested. They just could not do a cat and mouse game for multiple season. Maybe season two is the trial, but there had to be some payoff. Yet here we are at the end of the season and the biggest thing that happened in the season finale was Wendy quitting (and getting a very nice severance package). What is worse it seemed like the writers had this big plan to end the season with a big show down between Axe and Chuck (okay the Axe tearing up Axe Capital and then “going deeper” was pretty cool) but we already had that scene in the season premiere and again in the middle of the season and really all I came away from that scene is, goodness both of these people are really horrible people who deserve to lose.

Quantico: So the big twist at the end was Shelby was driving the van. Meh, it seemed pretty obvious she was doing this against her will so it was not as if the big twist was she was the one behind the phone call.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: This is the second time the show ended an episode with Supergirl charging an antagonist. Not cool. Also not cool was having Martian Manhunter show up in the Next Time On promo even though I never thought he was actually dead. I do think he is playing possum and this was his and Alex’s plan all along to make Non think she was a mindless drone. Also not cool, Superman as a mindless drone so he cannot help his cousin. Seriously, having him off the planet presumably helping the Green Lantern Corp. (though I doubt he will ever hear that term on the show) was good enough, having him join the mindless drones way off in the distance was really cheesy. Really my big takeaway from the episode was Maxwell Lord calling the president “she.” I guess it should not be that surprising that there was not a president Lex Luther in this universe. I wonder if we will get to meet her, if it is someone from the comics, or it was some cheap, hey a woman can be president Hollywood ploy.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: I thought Penquin killing the dog was going to be the most despicable thing he did this week but feeding his step-brother and sister to his step-mother… that is some Eric Cartman level evil right there.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: During my last Power Rankings I mentioned hoe diverse the top twenty was, but for some inexplicable reason, all four Coach’s Comeback were boring white dude and of course the bored housewives ate that up and two got voted through making half of America’s Saves white males. I looked back and in the Live Playoff seasons, white guys have made up at least half of America’s saves five of seven seasons (interesting enough, not one white guy was voted through by America in season four). I do not understand why the producers are letting bored housewives to run the show into the ground the way they did America Idol and their obsession with WGWG over there. It was pretty appropriate that The Voice hit a series low in the ratings for the results show. Count me as one of the many they have lost for the season because I have no interest in another boring white dude dominated season.

Lucifer: Well that was an interesting twist that Lucifer can only be hurt when the lady cop is around. So what exactly is her deal? We already know the Jedi mind tricks thing does not work on him and now she can hurt him. Was she sent, or blessed, by God?
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh Chrissy Seaver, your boyfriend dies going after a clue on his own, why are you doing the same? And if you are going to have Chrissy talking to people in her head, at lead make her Mr. Robot level paranoid about it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I had to laugh when the guy Daisy was hunting down commented on her partner’s “boy band hair.” Well that was until we actually got a good look at the guy and he looked even more like a male model. And that is pretty cheap to offer a trade and then renig. I actually want to know what his power is now.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I have a long standing rule to never believe someone is dead until you see the body (and even then still be suspicious), but I was pretty confident that Lyla Garrity was dead at the end of the last episode. Apparently not and not only that the Kool-Aide is strong because not only did she not call the police when she went to the hospital, she went even deeper down the rabbit hole and now is taking a bigger opposition within the cult out west. As much as I enjoyed Hannibal, I thought its cancelation was probably a good thing for Hugh Dancy’s mental health, but his new role is pretty dark too. That one scene in the bedroom was almost as disturbing as anything he did on Hannibal. And I wonder if 7R is just an excuse to torture Eddie. Then after Mary’s story, I wonder if FBI is more reluctant to take her back to her father.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: In the two seasons they have done this gimmick, one running theme is that everyone on the Brains tribe just completely overthinks everything. Aubry targeting the hot chick was just a really bad idea. If she is wrong, hot chick loyal, now you do not have the ability to split your votes, if you are right, the other alliance has two Idols to play with. Aubry lucked out that hot chick won Immunity, except Aubry came up with a dumber idea; vote out Debbie simply for telling hot chick the plan. Oh, and it gets dumberer, when the old dude tells Aubry how dumb the idea is and he will not vote for Debbie, Aubry tries to recruit hot chick, the person she originally wanted to get out, the person she was now targeting Debbie for because she did not trust with the vote splitting plan, to get the deciding vote. What?!?

That was just comically stupid. Now Aubry loses a loyal member of her alliance, is stuck with a potential flipper in the hot chick, the douchebag alliance still has two Idols, and now you do not have enough people to split the vote. Had Aubry just stuck with the vote splitting, best case scenario, they pick right, one of the douchebags go home; worst case scenario, both Idols get played, they chose the wrong two people to place votes on, and body builder goes home, but both Idols are at of play. Of course it seems like Aubry does not know what exactly the SuperIdol does so she may not realize that whoever they split their votes for could Voltron the two Idols after the votes are read, but still, even if that happens, both Idols are flushed and they are still down an alliance member.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Nina got the ax last week, will Martha be joining her soon? It does not seem like she can keep things up like they are for very much longer.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Well that was unexpected. That is not to say that it crossed my mind that Lizzie faked her death to get away from Red. It was noticeable that she said something to extent that she thought that doctor was going to be the one on call. Did she make a plot with him? It would be weird to kill Lizzie now, basically killed by the guys who were being very careful not to harm her. And he never learned who hired them. Maybe it was Lizzie who hired them as part of the decoy.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: There is nothing more annoying on television these days than the proliferation of hashtags blanketing the screen. Just the show’s name is annoying enough, but it is worse when they try to create new hashtags for specific scenes. Though I kind of liked when Orphan Black let me know to the effect they were going #BackToTheBeginning because it may have taken longer for me to realize they started the season with a flashback. I wonder if we will get more Beth this season, since the flashback did not go all the way up to running into Sarah, I have a feeling we may see her again.
You can downloadvOrphan Black on iTunes.