The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions for 2012 Fall Television

Tonight starts the slow rollout of the fall network schedule with the return of The Voice (Go On, Parenthood, and Sons of Anarchy all return tomorrow) so I thought I would share some of the biggest questions going into the fall season of television.

1. Is Carrie Still Cray-Cray? Last season on Homeland, the crazier Carrie got, the more entertaining the show got culminating in the great episode where Carrie went off her meds and created some crazy genius wall collage. Unfortunately like every other crazy person on television last season she elected to have electo-shock therapy. I cannot image she will be sane enough to rejoin the CIA even if everybody learns she was right about Brody all along. Of course this is television so they will probably find away unless she becomes a private contractor for Saul.

2. What Will the Purple Mist Bring to Storybrooke? Okay, the clear answer is that the purple mist we saw in the season finale of Once Upon a Time was magic, so the real question is what that means for the characters? And how do the relationships change now that everybody knows each other’s past? Oh yeah, and Captain Hook better be epic.

3. Will The Governor Be As Awesome as the Comic Book People Say? During the long slog that was the second season of The Walking Dead, all I heard from the comic book people was just wait until they get to The Prison. The Governor, who runs the place, is awesome. And Michonne, who made a cameo in the season finale with her armless and jawless slaves, is also up there in entertainment value. I have come to distrust The Walking Dead writers, so call me skeptical.

4. Will NBC’s Comedy Bet Pay Off? The last two times NBC doubled down on comedy did not really pay off. Two seasons ago they had their three hour comedy block on Thursdays that only lasted about two months. And of course there was the Jay Leno Hour disaster before that. Now they are going to a comedy block every weekday except Mondays (unless you consider Christina Aguilera’s coaching style on The Voice laughable). Surprisingly they ear not even laughing any new comedies during their much vaunted (but lowly watched) two hour Thursday night block. Instead Animal Practice and Guys with Kids are put out on an island to start Wednesdays. Go On and The New Normal do get the cushy post-The Voice slot on Tuesdays (except in Utah where the gay-homosexuals got banned, natch). While returning shows Whitney and Community get sent off to the Friday death slot in what may be the weirdest pairing ever. Will all this funny work out? Of the ten shows on the fall schedule (and four waiting for midseason, including The Office spin-off) I would be surprised if over half make it to Fall 2013. If I were Vegas, I would put the over/under at four, which would mean ten get the ax.

5. Is Beavis and Butt-Head Returning? Seriously, Beavis & Butthead was one of the few reboots that were just as good as the original run (aside from the boys watching crappy television). But after the show ended I have not heard anything about the show since be it renewed or canceled. Yet MTV keep on churning out unfunny live action comedies.


Speaking of the great philosopher Butt-Head who once gave us this gem, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” Here are five questions no one cares enough to have answered.

1. Who Is the Titular Mother? Unless they somehow explain that Victoria was the mother on How I Met Your Mother all along, I still do not care.

2. What Turned Off the Lights on Revolution? Do not care. J.J. Abrams is a hack.

3. Has Haden Panettiere Learned How to Act Yet? A couple weeks ago, someone asked me if I thought that Brody’s wife on Homeland was the worst actress of all-time. I laughed at the assertion, not only is she not the worst of all time, she is not even the worst actress that currently has a job especially considering Hayden is co-headlining Nashville this fall. What is worse is she has to share the screen with one of the greats in Tami Taylor. Hurmph. It is too late to recast her with Julie Taylor?

4. Will Blair from Facts of Life Be Annoyingly Religious? In a word: yes. Why does Survivor always recruit these religious zealots that make normal Christians look bad? Is this some sly anti-Christian crusade by the show? Of course the better is will she make it to the family / friends reward, and did she choose to bring Tootie to the island?

5. Wait, The CW still exists? Who knew?


And here is what I will be watching this fall and when they return. Mark your calendars.


Mondays
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (September 24)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (Already premiered)
8:00 – The Voice (Tonight)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (September 24)
10:00 – Castle (September 24)

Tuesdays
9:00 – Go On (September 11)
9:00 – Happy Endings (October 23)
9:30 – Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (October 23)
10:00 – Parenthood (September 11)
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (September 11)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: Philippines (September 19)
8:00 – The Middle (September 26)
8:30 – The Neighbors (September 26 premieres at 9:30; moves to 8:30 on October 3)
8:00 - Animal Practice (September 26)
9:00 – Modern Family (September 26)
9:30 – Suburgatory (October 17)
10:00 – Nashville (October 10)
10:00 – The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (September 19)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (September 27)
8:00 – Last Resort (September 27)

Fridays
8:00 – Last Man Standing (November 2)
8:30 – Community (October 19)
9:00 – Grimm (time slot premiere, September 14)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (September 30)
9:00 – Revenge (September 30)
9:00 – Dexter (September 30)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (October 14)
10:00 – Homeland (September 30)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/9/12

Quote of the Week: Ask Osama bin Laden if he is better off than he was four years ago. (John Kerry, The Democratic National Convention)

Song of the Week: Ronan – Taylor Swift (Stand Up 2 Cancer; proceeds of the song go to cancer research)

Big News of the Week: The Democratic National Convention: It is weird to hear every talk about how great a president Bill Clinton was, even may conservative talking heads considering the guy was so toxic back in 2000 Democratic nominee Al Gore treated his boss like, well, like Mitt Romney treated George W. Bush at his convention. Seriously people, if you have forgotten, go Google Monica Lewinski, Paula Jones, Vince Foster, and / or Marc Rich.

I have a longstanding voting strategy to never vote for incumbents because the longer politicians stay in office, the more corrupt they become. But I would have totally voted for Barack Obama had his convention speech just been him walking up to the front of the stage, say, “I shot Osama bin Laden in the face.” Drop the mic and watch off the stage while Bob Marley’s I Shot the Sheriff played in the background.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Switched at Birth: I actually thought they were going to have Bay forgive Emmitt in less than one episode. That should be unforgiveable, especially for a teenage and ABC Family is not known for its eaklthy relationships (*cough*Aria/Ezra*cough*) so thankfully they have Bay a backbone (for at least one episode). But speaking of unhealthy relationship, that cannot possibly have Daphne hook up with her boss (who I swear is the Kennish’s lawyer with a haircut) can they? Ew.

Grimm: The episode featured a zombie virus that makes you horny. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

MTV Video Music Awards: This year has to rival the painfully bad Vegas year (the one where Britney Spears laughably started the show) as the worst VMA’s ever. Really the only thing worth talking about is how the botched the MCA tribute. C’mon, last year Amy Winehouse gets a ten minute tribute including a performance even though she released just one great album and no memorable videos and never received a VMA or even performed on the show. But the Beastie Boys were one of the top five video artists ever (arguable number two behind Michael Jackson), gave one of the most memorable VMA performances ever with Sabotage, and was one of only a handful of artists to win the Video Vanguard Award. But all MCA gets is about five seconds of No Sleep to Brooklyn played over the loud speaker. MTV should be ashamed.


Free Download of the Week: Everything Is Embarrassing – Sky Ferreira (Rcrd Lbl)

Deal of the Week: Big DVD and Blu Ray Sale: The Big Bang Theory, New Jack City, Gremlins 2

New Album Release of the Week: Away From The World (Super Deluxe Limited Edition CD/DVD) - Dave Matthews Band

New DVD Release of the Week: The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Fifth Season

Video of the Week: It seems like every couple months a new movie trailer pops up that makes me go, that has to be a fake Funny or Die trailer because no way anyone would actually make that. When I saw the title Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I assumed it would be a trailer parody of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but then Jeremy Renner pops up and I realize this is an actually serious movie. Alrighty.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00: NBC’s staggered start of the fall season with the debut of its Monday and Tuesday lineups (sans Revolution which gets its premiere next week so they can air The New Normal and Go On pilots which are both currently online if you cannot wait; same with Revolution and Animal Practice). And the best show premiering this week is easily Parenthood. If my memory is correct Crosby and Jasmine got married, Julia and Joel got a kid (but sadly they did not adopt the coffee girl and her baby like I hoped), and Adam thankfully did not fire the absurdly hot secretary even though she kissed him. I am most interested in which Friday Night Lights alum pops up this season following in the footsteps of Lyla Garrity and Vince Howard. What is Becky Sproles up to these days?

Saying Goodbye to The Dog Whisperer

After eight seasons, it is time to say goodbye to The Dog Whisperer. With only two episodes left (tonight at 8:00 on Nat Geo Wild, with the series finale net week), Cesar Millan is ready to get his hands dirty (and bloody) one last time. Before saying goodbye, Cesar will check in with two of his celebrity friends tonight. First up is Jillian Michaels is back again with a new rescue Chihuahua and with an adoptive daughter coming soon, Jillian wants to get the breed’s legendary attitude under control. The episode hits a little too close to home because everything wrong with her dog is exactly how my Chihuahua acts around anyone who gets with in a hundred foot radius from my house. Also tonight, Cesar will also travel to Kelsey Grammer’s house where apparently his dogs have not seen his show Boss because they thing they rule the Grammer household by doing their doggie business all over the house and occasionally sneak off the property to do some geese hunting.

Then for next week’s finale, Cesar has a couple more cases to crack and when the episode is titled Cesar’s Worst Bite. In the episode Ceasar helps a couple who fears their 18-month child may get bitten by their Lab puppy who has started to display disturbing food aggression. Later in the episode Cesar helps a homeless woman as she prepares to move into a woman’s shelter with her protective pit bull, Tucker.

The Dog Whisperer may be coming to an end next week, but do not worry, Cesar Millan will not be going anywhere because he is currently in production on his new Nat Geo Wild competition series Leader of the Pack, due to premiere in early 2013.

The final two episodes of The Dog Whisperer air tonight and next Saturday at 8:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

Around the Tubes - 9/7/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Voice, Ghost Hunters, 9/11 specials, Drop Dead Diva, The Hero, Sullivan and Son, Power Rangers Monster Bash, Holliston, Nina Dobrev, James Murphy, and House Band Wines.

- The Voice returns Monday for three straight days of Blind Auditions (including a special Wednesday episode where it will go head to head with another singing competition that, like The Voice, features four judges, but unlike The Voice, none of the judges can sing). For those that cannot wait, here is a first look at a Blind Audition you will be seeing next week:


- A new season of Ghost Hunters returns this Wednesday at 9:00 on Syfy and here is a promo to get you excited:


- National Geographic Channel will be remembering 9/11 all weekend starting tomorrow at 10:00 with 9/11-The Fireman’s Story, then Sunday at 10:00 they will air 9/11: Voices from the Air.

- Not only is the season finale of Drop Dead Diva this Sunday at 9:00 on Lifetime, I hear there may even be a wedding happening.

- TNT may know drama, but they are quickly getting acquainted with reality too. After the first season of The Great Escape ended, the network announced their next foray into competition series. The Hero is out to find the next great hero bringing 10 ordinary people together in a house and then assign them various missions that will test their brains, their brawn and even their morality. The Hero will be headlined by The Rock and promises to utilize social media like never before. Look out for the show during the summer of 2013.

- If you enjoyed the first season of TBS’s Sullivan and Sons, you are in luck because the show has been renewed for a second season.

- Out on DVD and Video on Demand this Tuesday: Power Rangers Monster Bash. Plan your Halloween parties accordingly.


- FEARnet recently announced the start of production on their irreverent horror comedy series Holliston which will see Dee Snyder and Dave Brockie (you may know him better as Oderus Urungus from GWAR) will reprise their roles. The new season will air in the spring as well as a one-hour special set to air during the holidays. You will also be able to but the first season on DVD and Blu-Ray starting October 8.


- Nina Dobrev covers October’s issue of Seventeen where the star of The Vampire Diaries where she also talks about her upcoming movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower.


- James Murphy has partnered with Canon for “Project Imaginat10n,” a creative exercise where he’ll pick ten consumer photos to inspire a short film he directs under the mentorship of Ron Howard. Jamie Foxx, Eva Longoria, Biz Stone and Georgina Chapman are also part of this endeavor. Consumers can submit photos until September 24th at imagination.usa.canon.com and Canon and Ron Howard will narrow down the photos – James and each director will then choose 10 photos to inspire their films. You can hear James explain below:


- House Band Wines is excited to announce that our Chardonnay in our groundbreaking 375ml Flex Pouch has scored an impressive 85 points and Best Buy by the highly-respected feature and review magazine, Wine Enthusiast.

This Is No Fairytale, the Stories Are Real

Grimm finished up its early Monday run this week before returning to its regular Friday timeslot on the 28 (your TV Guide may say there is a new Grimm this Monday but it is wrong, NBC will be airing the Pilots of The New Normal and Go On at that time). If you need a Grimm fix over the next twenty-four days until a new episode airs, you can relive the first season on DVD or Blu-Ray on shelves now. Of course for those interested in give the show a shot, you can pick up the first season, then watch the first four episodes of season two, and be caught up by the time it returns (that is just over an episode a day).

For the unaware, Grimm was created by David Greenwalt who was a writer for Buffy the Vampire Slayer before going on to co-create the spin-off Angel with Joss Whedon. Grimm is very similar in tone to Angel in that is dark, creepy, with flashes of humor. But instead of a vampire, the lead is a Grimm, a descendant of the guys that wrote all the fairytales, except all the stories turned out to be based in reality and the Grimm’s were tasked to hunting down all the big bad wolfs and the like (Grimm’s have the ability to see the creatures in their true form when humans cannot) before they attack young girls wearing red.

But like his previous show, not everything that goes bump in the night is a bad guy. The Grimm even teams up with a modern Big Bad Wolf, known here as a Blutbad (all the creatures, or Wesen, have a German sounding name) that helps the Grimm identify everything he is up against and the sidekick turns out to be the best part of the show. And the Grimm has to do this while trying to keep his new reality from colliding with his life as cop (with a very shady boss who know more than he is letting on) and his long time girlfriend. Some of the other fairytales tacked in the first season include Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Three Little Pigs, Rapunzel, Big Foot, and The Pied Piper.

Both the DVD and Blu-Ray are filled with extras including deleted and extended scenes from 13 episodes that add up to about and extra 30 minutes including a scene from the Pilot that shows Juliette in a very different job then she ended up having on the show. There is also a featurette The World of Grimm where you can learn the inspirations behind the storylines, characters and creatures. There is another one that focuses how the team brings the monsters to life. There is also a gag reel, highlight reels, and audition tapes which includes Reggie Lee (who would go on and be cast as Sergeant Wu) auditioning for the role of Hank. I also like that each episode includes its “Previously On” clip which is inexplicably not standard on all television box sets.

The Blu-Ray set is well made and even includes a glossary printed inside of all the monsters on the show (which I assume are also printed on the DVD set). I do like that the fold out box set comes with a Velcro type substance that holds it together when closed. I do not like that the disk are pulled out of a sleeve making it easier to scratch instead of the safer pop out version. For a limited time, each set comes with two collectable trading cards (I got the Blutbad and Hexenbiest) as well as an UltraViolet code which you have until 2015 to redeem by if you want to put off buying the season until later. The big reason to pick up the Blu-Ray over the DVD for those with HD capabilities is that the Blu-Ray version includes an Interactive Grimm Guide which look like pages out of the Grimm family books with a page dedicated to each Wesen from the first season (sorry, no previews of baddies to come or just hinted out in the first season) but also includes a video of each creature transforming from human to it true form.

Grimm returns Friday, September 28 at 9:00 on NBC. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.


Full Disclose Notice: This Blu-Ray was given to me by NBC.

I Want My Music Television - 9/5/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift


In a story I broke last week, Taylor Swift’s new single is painfully bad in a how was someone able to record a song more annoying than Call Me Maybe kind of way. Altthough after its too cheesy for its own good music video, the song is slowly moving into annoyingly cute territory. And for those playing the Who’s Is Taylor Singing About home edition, the video is shot in one take much like the recent music video from former beau John Mayer while the suitor kind of looks like former paramour Jake Gyllenhaal (well someone who looks like Jake and Adam Levine somehow had a grown kid together). Note to self: start cyber-stalking Taylor’s fiddler. Another note to self: make sure you delete the previous “note to self” before posting.


Little Black Submarine – The Black Keys


The Black Keys make some of the most entertaining music videos it is a bit disappointing whenever they do just a straight forward performance based video. Although I have a feeling it would have been epic to have been in the crowd here at a Nashville dive bar.


Lost in the Echo – Linkin Park


As you can see above, the new Linkin Park is very Linkin Park-y with its epic end the world feel to it like many of their previous efforts. If you want a more interesting version of this video (with you as the star) head to lostintheecho.com and link the site up with your Facebook page so you can see overtly happy pictures of your friends in this otherwise creepy video.


She Said OK - Big Boi featuring Theophilus London & Tre Luce


The first two lines of this song are so absurd I could not stop laughing. But seriously, Outkast split so Big Boi could record songs like this?

The Five Most Anticipated Albums of Fall 2012

Back in April I was surprised in how much good music was released that month and hoped that it was a sign of things to come. It was not because good music was few and far in-between of the summer month. But with Christmas just around the corner, record companies are lining up their big guns for release. Here are some I am looking forward to. Click the artist name to be taking to their iTunes page, and the name of the album to pre-order it on Amazon. Release dates are subject to change.

1. Babel – Mumford & Sons (September 25): The band may not have kickstarted the folk rock revival of recent years (that may go to the second band on this list), but the put it into high gear. The managed to outsell almost everyone else in that time not named Adele and now they look to shake the sophomore slump. They said that they have not changed their sound from their debut and first single I Will Wait backs up their charge which had fans of their first album dusting off their air banjos.

2. The Carpenter – The Avett Brothers (September 11): If there is such a thing as folk-punk, The Avett Brothers are it. The Carpenter is the group’s second album produced by Rick Rubin who was behind the board for their breakthrough I and Love and You and lives up to the greatness of its predecessor. Cannot wait a week to give the album a listen? You are in luck because npr.com is streaming The Carpenter in its entirety.

3. Away from the World – Dave Matthews Band (September 11): The big news about Dave and the boys eighth studio album is it their first in over a decade with producer Steve Lilywhite who produced their first three albums (and the aborted fourth album that got leaked to the internet under the moniker The Lilywhite Session before getting a proper released that Stephan Harris finished producing under the appropriately titled Busted Stuff). First single Mercy is a bit sleepy, but for some reason their first singles off their albums are never the best (my guess is the reason is their best songs are over the radio friendly five minutes long).

4. Battle Born – The Killers (September 18): I have a love / hate relationship with the band. I loved their dance rock debut / hated their pretentious we want to be Springsteen follow up. By the time their third album came around I was ready to reluctantly accept their absurdity. After hearing the first single off their four album Runaways, it sounds like the Vegas boys are still looking for that elusive last chance power drive. And still coming up short.

5. Red – Taylor Swift (October 22): Okay, first single We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is painfully bad (although the cute one take accompanying music video almost makes it listenable, almost) but I will admit I am an unabashed fan of her first three albums. Last time around, Swift wrote and co-produced every song on Speak Now and for better or worse she is bring in a bunch of collaborators including pop maestro Max Martin (which would be part of the “worst” considering he is responsible for Never Ever). The only other confirmed collaborator is English songwriter Ed Sheeran.


Today
Sun – Cat Power
North – Matchbox Twenty
Magic – Smash Mouth

September 11
Tempest – Bob Dylan
La Futura – ZZ Top
Undisputed – DMX
Coexist – The xx

September 18
Mirage Rock – Band of Horses
The Sound Of The Life Of The Mind – Ben Folds Five
Hallelujah! I'm a Bum – Local H
Tomorrowland – Ryan Bingham
Kanye West Presents Good Music Cruel Summer
Charmer – Aimee Mann
I Bet On Sky – Dinosaur Jr.
The Spirit Indestructible – Nelly Furtado
Kiss – Carly Rae Jepsen

September 25
Cedar + Gold – Tristan Prettyman
Food & Liquor II: The Great American Rap – Lupe Fiasco
Uno – Green Day
Mystic Pinball – John Hiatt
Push And Shove – No Doubt

October 2
Glad All Over – The Wallflowers
Traveling Alone – Tift Merritt
The 2nd Law – Muse
Born To Sing: No Plan B – Van Morrison

October 9
Wrote a Song for Everyone – John Fogerty
Pines – A Fine Frenzy
Songs for the End of the World – Rick Springfield
Monster - KISS

October 16
Former Lives – Ben Gibbard
Very Special Christmas 25th Anniversary

October 23
The Haunted Man – Bat for Lashes
Man With the Iron Fists
TBD – Gary Clark Jr.

October 30
Merry Christmas, Baby – Rod Stewart

November 6
Music From Another Dimension – Aerosmith

November 13
Dos – Green Day
TBD – Soundgarden
Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors – Big Boi

November 27
Girl on Fire – Alicia Keys
The Art of War III – Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

January 15
Tre – Green Day

TBD
James River – D'Angelo
Watch the Throne 2 – Kanye West and Jay-Z
Psychedelic Pill – Neil Young & Crazy Horse
Matangi – M.I.A.
Indicud – Kid Cudi
The Evil Empire of Everything – Public Enemy
Rooted – Scarface
Alice In Chains
Christina Aguilera
The Bird and the Bee

And let’s not forget the obligatory this may be the year that Dr. Dre releases Detox. Of course if he does, that may mean the Mayans were right.