Chinese Democracy is a huge disappointment. No not because of the music, but just because it was released at all. For the seventeen years since Guns n’ Roses last released a studio album, Chinese Democracy became this mythical figure, much like Big Foot you could find blurry video on YouTube of songs, but there wasn’t any hard facts that it actually existed besides a name. Had Vegas had it on its book, I would have put money on China becoming a Democratic state before Chinese Democracy was actually released.
Well, come to think of it, the music is pretty disappointing too. Of course unless it was the best album of the past seventeen years, the album was going to be disappointing no matter how good it was if you have had to wait more than half your life for. Not surprisingly, seventeen years of tinkering on songs has led to an album so overproduced Britney Spears would think it is too shiny.
Chinese Democracy puts the duel heads of Use Your Illusion in perspective. On the albums you had the punk influenced, riff heavy songs like Garden of Eden and the bombastic ten minute long Estranged. It is clear with Velvet Revolver that Slash wanted the riff-centric Guns n’ Roses while Rose wanted to push the group into the more theatrical rock as most of Chinese Democracy, even though don’t reach the length of some of the Use Your Illusion songs, they just feel as long sometimes.
Not surprisingly considering that is when a bulk of the music was started, the album sounds like a mix of hard rock from the mid-nineties. This is actually a good thing because if you think of it, the Foo Fighters are making the best hard rock music of the ’00, and , and no disrespect to Dave Grohl, but that isn’t a good sign for the genre these days. The title-track is a shred heavy monster, Shackler’s Revenge starts with a bunch of shrieks and technology blips that sound from the Trent Reznor laboratory, the alt-rock of Better, the atmospheric rock of The Verve on Sorry with each song morphing two or more genres in by the end.
With its piano and sappy beginning, you may think Street of Dreams was sung by a country artist until Axl trades in the baritone start for his signature squeal and moves the song into a November Rain type power balled. But in the end, there is just too much tinkering and second guessing that just brings down an otherwise solid album that may have sounded fresh fifteen years ago. As disappointing as Chinese Democracy is, on the bright side we all got a free Dr. Pepper out of it (well I would have if the Dr. Pepper website did not crash and their customer service number was not busy all day, they better extend this). And there is always Detox to make fun of.
Chuck: I was a little perturbed last week when it wasn’t explained why Jill hooked up with Bryce Larkin right after breaking up and now I am completely befuddled. It cannot be a coincidence that he ended up being NSA and she Folcrum. I always hated when Chuck went into the past but I now want to know more. (My theory, she was always a spy, and she was assigned to get close to Chuck thinking he was going to be part of the recruiting thing at Stanford, when he got kicked out, she moved on someone who did get accepted: Bryce Larkin. She then got the boot when he hooked up with the Token Hot Chick) And come to think of it, have they ever actually explained who Folcrum is and what their mission statement is and who they are aligned with? You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: Aw, the Wooo girl, the greatest and worst things ever. I can thank the Wooo Girls for so many memories that will never be repeated ever. And dare I say Hannity and Colmes may be the best derogatory tem for breasts ever? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Heroes: And I though Peter trying to emote next to Kristen Bell was excruciatingly painful, but having her in scenes with Sylar makes me want to poke my eyes out. I know there aren’t many people on the show that can, but can they please have Kristen in scenes with people that are at least community theater quality actor. Seriously, who will be paired with next, Matt to hit the trifecta of horrible acting? Or better, just kill her off so I can stop watching this show. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com.
Eli Stone: Finally a musical number. But I am still weary of the two firms and how that plays out. Although I guess thanks to ABC, it won’t take me long to see how it plays out. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.
Pushing Daisies: I was kind of looking forward to having a case where the dead were people that couldn’t talk. Although it was pretty obvious that the killer was just inept, that is why the animals died first. Hopefully ABC give the show a reprieve long enough so he can have a mute that is killed, of course in Pushing Daisies fashion, it would be a mime that wouldn’t break character even in death. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: There is nothing better on television these days than when people play a fake idol. If I am not mistaken, this is the third straight season someone tried to play a fake idol. And really no one deserved to play a fake idol more than that humongous tool. What was best is that everyone had a smile on their face when he first played it even thinking it was a game changer, or knowing that it was a fake. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
My Name Is Earl: Holy Bob Rooney sighting! You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Quote of the Week: Now if you excuse me, I have a date with Hannity and Colmes. (Barney - How I Met Your Mother)
Song of the Week: Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd (How I Met Your Mother)
Big News of the Week: ABC Drops All the Shows I Watch on Their Network: The day after Tony Kornheiser gave Pushing Daisies some dap on Pardon the Interruption, ABC announced that the show would be taking its title too seriously. Michael Wilbon won’t be too happy that Dirty Sexy Money will be joining them. Also six feet under is Eli Stone. None of the shows are officially canceled or pulled from the schedule, but it is doubtful we will see any of the shows again after their original order of thirteen episodes are aired, that is if ABC bothers to air them all (I sense a buy the DVD to see unaired episodes situation coming). After the Jericho debacle, I doubt there is any luck resurrecting any of the shows by sending pies, stones, or dirt covered money to the network. The closest thing to hope fans can look to is a Friday Night Lights situation, although network may want to wait to see how successful that is before trying it themselves. And Mark Cuban, whom owns DirecTV, is a little busy these days with the SEC. At any rate, it may be time for another rant that anyone who thinks the Neilsen Ratings are credible are complete morons.
Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
Coalition Links of the Week: From Turtle on Entourage to Thirteen on House, Buzz rounded up some of her favorite nicknamed TV characters. (BuzzSugar)
Vance loves Bobby Cannavale but isn't quite sure if he'll make a good Cupid yet after seeing the preview. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace took an advance look at the Doctor Who: Complete Series Four DVD which came out earlier this week and offered an early look at a potential ABC midseason schedule. (Televisionary)
I'm in ur hospital, sleepin' with ur interns! Dan continued his trend of ridiculing Grey's Anatomy with a new batch of LOLGrey's. (TiFaux).
Jennifer returned from maternity leave to chat with Rosie O’Donnell about her new variety show, Nip/Tuck, and The View and received a strike notice from her DVR. (Tube Talk)
Kate kinda hated herself for continuing to watch Stylista. But holy crap was this week's episode compelling! (TV Filter)
Heather had a longish chat with 24: Redemption's Robert Carlyle and, incredibly, managed to avoid once mentioning Hamish Macbeth! (TV Spy)
Free Download of the Week: Gettin’ Up - Q-Tip (iTunes): A couple weeks ago iTunes launch a Free Single of the Week and the former A Tribe Called Quest rapper’s latest video is yours without having to pay for it. I always wondered who actually pays to download music videos on iTunes. Why download a three music video for $1.99 when you can get a forty minute television show for the same price. But you cannot beat free. Now if only I could figure how to convert an iTunes video into a MP3 song.
Video of the Week: I have always been skeptical of the upcoming remake for Cupid from Rob Thomas, but the promo for the show hit the interwebs this week. Have a look:
Wow, after watching that I have to wonder if Bobby Cannavale watched every episode of Entourage back to back because he looks like he is trying too hard to do a Jeremy Pivin impersonation. Is there really anyone at ABC that thinks this will be better, or even perform better, than Eli Stone or Pushing Daisies? The channel may be morphing into The CW for me where I no longer watch it, not because I am boycotting it like Fox, but I don’t watch it because there just isn’t anything watchable.
Next Week Pick of the Week: Macy’s Thanksgivings Day Parade, Thursday at 9:00 AM on NBC: A yearly tradition even if I don’t know who seventy-five percent of the “stars” they have trotted out in the past decade. Surprisingly this year I actually recognize a few names like Miley Cyrus, David Archuleta, Kristen Chenoweth, James Taylor, Darius Rucker and Trace Adkins. Not appearing this year are The Cheetah Girls, whoever they are, because they got dumped from the show for some reason. Hopefully that means more Hootie.
A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Chuck, 25 Days of Christmas, The Office, The Comedy Festival, and Colin Monroe.
- In honor of the impending Black Friday, the local Buy More where you can win you could win an autographed copy of the Season 1 DVD of Chuck or a set of the Chuck comic books from Wildstorm Comic books. Head over to NBC.com to put your Chuck knowledge to the test.
- Speaking of Christmas, we are just a week and a half away from the start of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas and below is a promo. Check back sometime after Thanksgiving when I post the full schedule for this year along with descriptions of the three new programs Snow 2: Brain Freeze, A Miser Brothers’ Christmas, and Christmas in Wonderland starring Patrick Swayze and Carmen Electra. (Wait, did I seriously just type that?)
- NBC.com really loves their webisodes and here is their most recent from The Office:
- I have talked about it already a few times, but The Comedy Festival finally kicked of yesterday in Las Vegas. For those not near the strip, click the link to stream live coverage or turn into TBS next weekend. Here’s the line up:
- Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show (Saturday November 29 at 9:00): Ellen DeGeneres hosts a variety show.
- Funniest Movies (Saturday November 29 at 10:00): Frank Caliendo countdowns the funniest movies of 2008 decided by you the viewers. Sadly I forgot to rock the vote so my apologies if Cabin Boy doesn’t make the list.
- Cheech and Chong Roasted (Sunday November 30 at 10:00): Get it, Roasted? Oh, never mind. The seventies duo will be roasted by friends and comedians like Brad Garrett, Penn & Teller, and the Reverend Al Sharpton. (Wait, did I seriously just type that?)
- Jamie Foxx’s Laffapalooza (Sunday November 30 at 11:00): Tracy Morgan host of to comedians. Apparently not scheduled to appear: Jamie Foxx.
- Colin Monroe has a new mixtape coming out on December 1 that you can download at unsunghero.tv, until then check out the trailer:
- For those that don’t win the Chuck Black Friday contest but still want beat the rush next Friday, be sure to check out these current and upcoming deals at Amazon:
The music industry has been sinking in quick sand for the last couple years, but expect the bleeding to stop this week because Beyoncé has what ails the industry and that is a double album. Yeah so to this point she has yet to fill one album full of great music and her last didn’t have any great songs on it but… wait, I have nothing, this is a bad idea to end all bad ideas.
Granted I Am… Sasha Fierce is only a double album in that it comes in two disks, but combined, the two albums only add up to eleven songs and just over forty minutes. Even the Deluxe Edition and its sixteen songs clock in at just over an hour, something that could easily fit on a single disk. So if we learn one thing from her new album it is Beyoncé hates the environment.
As for the music, the album is split into two separate categories, the I Am section of the album is the slower, mellower portion while her alter ego Sasha Fierce is the more dance oriented part of the album. Sasha Fierce is a complete throw away, like when you buy the Rocky the Complete Collection and throw away and forget the last two movies never existed, that is what you will want to do to the second disk. They are filled will boring Timbaland wannabe produced songs that rank at the bottom of anything B has ever done before.
I Am is much more respectable, even if nothing really comes close to any of her past glory. The closest comes in the form of Halo, a foot stomping, hand clamping romp that sounds made for a cavernous chapel. For those that put down the extra six bucks for the Deluxe Edition, be sure to go to the end for That’s Why You’re Beautiful, B’s most adventurous song to date, not that that says much.
You would think marriage would change some of the priorities of Beyoncé, but she has stuck too many of the same themes that she has beat to death on her previous album. Despite her nuptials, she still apparently hates the opposite sex mocking us guys on If I Were a Boy. Then there is Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) which calls out those with commitment issues, but as we all know she found one that doesn’t have one. But the most laughable track is Dive which Beyoncé claims is the female version of a hustler. Um, no. But keep trying to convince yourself.
The biggest disappointment comes from Babyface who penned the bland Broken-Hearted Girl. I have been hoping for a Babyface resurgence to save R&B for the mostly unlistenable version of today that relies way too much on hip-hop, but his contribution is the same lifeless tale of I Will Survive that Beyoncé has gone over time and time again. Hopefully ’Face can find that magic touch again, and bring back Boyz II Men when he does. I really miss real R&B.
Coldplay has been releasing a cavalcade of videos lately, and most have been thanks to a video content they have for the acoustic version of Lost, which produced the below video:
It is good that they have other people creating videos for the song because the one they did was just you token live version. As for the Jay-Z Remix, they oddly just added him oddly via computer generated television. And did Hova really list Chris Martin along side Malcolm X?
Amongst all the Lost variations, they released a video for a different song, Lovers in Japan which on the album is combined with a different song, but the video is just for the one.
Not a Coldplay video, but as I turned into Eli Stone last night I was stuck watching the end of Dancing with the Has Been's which seems to be ending later and later but I cannot complain too much because last night featured Julianna Hough in military garb. As for music, it just may be why God gave us the mute button.
In two months, Barack Obama will be sworn in as the next president of the United States of America and there will be plenty of items on his plate from day one: two wars, the impending depression, Detroit imploding. One thing that should not be overlooked is NAFTA. It is hard to gauge Obama’s stance on the trade agreement as he would say it is working while campaigning in the South but here in Ohio he would say he was against it. Hopefully he was lying to the Texans because NAFTA needs a complete overhaul. Case in point: Nickelback. Think of all the goods and services that we send up to our northern neighbor over the life of NAFTA and what we get in return in a bland rock band.
The thing about Nickelback is they would have sufficed as a one hit wonder. How You Remind Me was a catchy ditty with a sing a long chorus. And the band should have quit while there were ahead because since then they have just released album after album with cheesy mid temp schlock and their attempt at heavy medal, of which they fail most of the time.
Three albums and twenty five million albums sold later, the band is back for more of the same that is so derivative of their previous songs you have to wonder if the band has some sort of Mad Libs for songwriters where they change the chord progressions and a few words and viola: a new album. It seems almost apropos that the band brought in Mutt Lange, the dude who launched Def Leppard before marrying Shania Twain to produce the album, because the band is the closest thing this generation has to a hair band making the future prom ballads and pseudo-metal even shinier than in the past.
Dark Horse starts off in true Nickelback fashion with Something in Your Mouth, that something being a, wait for it, wait for it, a thumb. If you listen closely you can hear the band snicker like sixth graders at the lamest double entendre ever. Even less subtle is S.E.X. which includes the chorus, “S is for the simple need, E is for the ecstasy.” Apparently they don’t care enough to come up with an X although it would have sufficed to stand for ecstasy. But these aren’t MENSA members we are dealing with.
The band dives deeper in to hair band territory with I’d Come for You (cue even more sixth grade snickering) which rips off even more than these five words they promised you in How You Remind Me in an almost a note for note Ad Libs type recreation of I’ll Be There for You by Bon Jovi. Nickelback even tries to recreate their one and only new idea at the end of the album when tries too hard to be Rockstar. Excuse me if I am the last to use the quasi-ironic phrase, but that is not change you can believe in.
At the start of The Visitor, Richard Jenkins (Cheaper by the Dozen) is your typical burned out professor who just white outs the term and year on the syllabus, and only if he remembers. Criticism isn’t his strong suit either as he has been through five piano teachers without a second lesson. Just your typical mid life crisis, but about ten years after he should have grown out of it.
All that changes when he has to go to a conference in New York City and a couple has taken up residence in his apartment there in his absence. Instead of calling the police like a normal person, Jenkins, longing for some human contact out of the norm and let the two Muslims stay. In Haaz Sleiman (American Dreamz), Jenkins finds a teacher that doesn’t just dismiss him learning the djembe (a Syrian drum) at such an old age.
This first half of the film is as exhilarating as Jenkins taking up the foreign instrument with plenty of great music that moves the movie along. But not surprising considering the origins of the house guests, the second half delves into a heavy handed commentary on the immigration policies in a post-9/11 world. Even during the first half, you know it is coming, but you wish they would have just stayed with the uplifting story of bring people together with music.
Quote of the Week: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon, he is one lab accident away from being a supervillian. (Leonard, The Big Bang Theory)
Song of the Week: Cats in the Cradle - Harry Chapin (as sung by Barney, How I Met Your Mother)
Big News of the Week: Get Ready for Black Friday/Cyber Monday: The recent economic crisis is basically a combination of the greedy and the stupid (see: Pay off Your Debts You Morons). The result for the rest of good and smart people will be harder to find credit, higher taxes, and inflation. But if there is a bright side for those smart enough to diversify and manage our money wisely, there looks like there will be an overabundance of great deals out there. After doing my shopping for friends and family, I may find good enough deals where I can pick up an HDTV, PS3, computer, and other goodies to stuff my own stocking. What does this have to do with all the TV watchers out there? Well Amazon is running a multitude of sales from now until even after Christmas. Here are some of those deals.
Coalition Links of the Week: From the curmudgeons at House to the sex-crazed residents of Grey's Anatomy, which medical show's staff would you most want treating you? (BuzzSugar)
This week, Sandie came up with a cool Twilight TV series: The Cullens. (Daemon's TV)
Looking for happy thoughts to hold of the grey and dreary days of winter, Jody came up with a list of her Top 5 Happy TV Moments like Buffy not letting The First keep her down in Chosen or the series premiere of Lost. (RTVW)
The set ups are getting a bit obvious but Vance still likes Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters and Degrassi:TNG. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace interviewed Chris Lilley, the creator/writer/star of HBO's new comedy series Summer Heights High, about what it's like to play Jonah Takalua, what's next for him and the characters, and those rumors that he refused to sell the format rights for Summer Heights High. (Televisionary)
The TiFaux gang bid adieu to Total Request Live (and, in a way, their youths) by each giving their top five videos ever. (TiFaux)
This week, theTVaddict.com used Twitter to snag an interview with Ugly Betty's David Blue (Cliff St. Paul). (The TV Addict)
Kate talked to Tom and Padma from Top Chef. (TV Filter)
Heather got to see a sneaky preview of 24: Redemption. Her verdict? “Jack-tastic”, whatever that means… (TV Spy)
The Big Bang Theory: This past episode reminds me a lot of last season’s Sheldon is sick one in that it should have been much better than it actually was. This once again can be attributed to having a B-storyline that doesn’t add much to the episode. And I am extremely disappointed that we didn’t get a glimpse of Sheldon’s forgiveness test. If you can take it online, why doesn’t the show post it there? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Chuck: Did I miss where Chuck got all the questions answered that he wanted like he told Ellie he did? I certainly didn’t get the answers I wanted like why she shacked up with Bryce Larkin so quickly after dumping Chuck. I guess I was distracted by Casey and Sarah’s disguises in the restaurant. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met your Mother: As someone who has seen the Spice Girls without their makeup on up close, I completely agree with Barney’s Spice Girls Paradox because they are all Scary Spice without a heavy layered makeup (sans Baby Spice). But I have to disagree with the Cheerleader Theorem. What makes cheerleaders hot is not they are in a pack it is the uniform that makes them hotter than without it. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Heroes: Yet another example of why Heroes has way too many cast members. I can’t imagine anyone out there was interested in any of the back stories except Pap Petrelli’s, and yet we get the rest of the episode bogged down by boring origins of Sylar (why did Noah leave after he started killing instead of bag and tag him?) or the return of Eric Roberts. Please start killing people off and let the list start with Peter. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com.
Eli Stone: I have a fear going into the second season the network said we are going to renew you but cool it on musical numbers. The Katie Holmes is the only one I can think of so far this season. Now the show seems to be morphing into Boston Legal, where weirs things happen in a legal setting, which is not a good thing. As a straight dude, I am surprised I am saying this, but bring back the singing and dancing. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.
Survivor: As I predicted, Corrine’s face was priceless when learning that her buddy got voted out. Loved how the video game nerd shot back what made him more deserving to stay than everyone else. And in one episode she went from being in the driver’s seat to on the chopping block. And to think I was ready to give up on this season. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
My Name Is Earl: Did I miss where Earl put a hole in the bar? Did it happen when he stabbed the bee? And would that have been big enough to make hole? I really hope I haven’t gotten so old I start falling asleep while watching TV at 9:00 at night. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Free Download of the Week: A Lovely Way to Spend Christmas - Kristin Chenoweth (Borders): It is still a little too early for me to get excited for Christmas yet considering I haven’t sliced any turkeys yet, but I will just file away the song in iTunes until at least December because it stops being free on Tuesday. And of course you should know Kristin Chenoweth from her role as Olive Snook on Pushing Daisies.
Video of the Week: Another week, another Chuck webisode. Check it out below:
Next Week Pick of the Week: Expedition Week, All Week at 9:00 on National Geographic Channel: For more on this special, check out: Previewing Expedition Week which starts tonight. Here are a couple more pictures, this time from Shipwrecked: Captain Kidd, Tuesday at 9:00, and Lost Cities of the Amazon, Thursday at 9:00 (also click on the name for videos of the specials):
![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
(Special one-day deals on favorite TV shows.) Offers posted from 12/4-12/16. 
![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my 
) is your typical burned out professor who just white outs the term and year on the syllabus, and only if he remembers. Criticism isn’t his strong suit either as he has been through five piano teachers without a second lesson. Just your typical mid life crisis, but about ten years after he should have grown out of it.
), Jenkins finds a teacher that doesn’t just dismiss him learning the djembe (a Syrian drum) at such an old age.![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my 
