Lyrics Quiz: 80's Dance Party vol. 3

It has almost been two years since I last rolled out the last 80’s Dance Party themed version of the lyrics quiz so it has way too long since I rolled out a quiz full of lyrics from the greatest (and by greatest I mean cheesiest) decade for music. If my memory serves me correctly, the first two 80’s Dance Party have been the only two lyrics quizzes not to need any hints. Let’s see if you can make it three in a row even though these will be harder. Much like every Lyrics Quiz, please post your guesses, title and artist, in the comment section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will unbold the lyric and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the Lyrics Quiz:


1. I could see it was a rough-cut Tuesday. Slow-motion weekdays stare me down. (Freeze-Frame - J. Geils Band; guessed by Angie)
2. Born of the years, is it so wrong to be human after all? (Something About You - Level 42; guessed by Angie)
3. I got a job waiting for my graduation, fifty thou a year’ll buy a lot of beer. (The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3; guessed by Dara)
4. I knew by the way that she kissed me that she knew how to kiss. (Raspberry Beret - Prince; guessed by Angie)
5. Hugging like a monkey see monkey do right beside a riverboat gambler. (Wishing Well - Terence Trent D'Arby)
6. I need fifty dollars to make you holla. (Wild Thing - Tone Loc; guessed by Angie)
7. I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face. (Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Dara)
8. I brought my pencil. Give me something to write on. (Hot for Teacher - Van Halen; guessed by Dara)
9. As we taxied down the runway I could hear the people shout. They said, “Don’t come back here Yankee!” (All She Wants to Do Is Dance - Don Henley; guessed by Dara)
10. Please, Louis, pull me off of my knees. (Footloose - Kenny Loggins; guessed by Dara)
11. I can’t get any rest. People say I'm obsessed. Everything you say is lies. But to me there's no surprise. (She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals; Angie)
12. I catch a paper boy. But things don't really change. I’m standing in the wind. But I never wave bye-bye. (Modern Love - David Bowie; guessed by Angie)
13. Don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now and I can put you back down too. (Don't You Want Me - Human League; guessed by Dara)
14. And the river was deep I didn't falter. When the mountain was high I still believed. When the valley was low it didn't stop me. (I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) - Aretha Franklin and George Michaels; guessed by Dara)
15. He got the action, he got the motion. Yeah, the boy can play. Dedication, devotion, turning all the night time into the day. (Walk of Life - Dire Straits; guessed by Dara)
16. Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box. Religion is a smile on a dog. (What I Am - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians; guessed by Dara)
17. The crème de la crème of the chess world in a show with everything but Yul Brynner. (One Night in Bankok - Murry Head; guessed by Angie)
18. Big hands I know you’re the one. (Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes; guessed by Dara)
19. To do the dishes. To clean up my room. To do the laundry. And in the bathroom. (Girls - Beastie Boys; guessed by Dara)
20. Turn it down you say, well all I got to say to you is time and time again, I say “No!” (I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister; guessed by Angie)
21. You didn’t know that rock ‘n’ roll burned so you bought a candle and you lived and you learned. (Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Great White; guessed by Dara)
22. Top coat, top hat, I don't worry cause my wallet's fat. (Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top; guessed by Dara)
23. Well who is he baby, who is he and tell me what he means to you. (Cuts Like Knife - Bryan Adams; guessed by Dara)
24. From out of the shadows she walks like a dream. Makes me feel crazy, makes me feel so mean. (On the Dark Side - John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band; guessed by Angie)
25. It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. (Africa - Toto; guessed by Angie)

Friends, Romans, Countryman Lend Me Your Ear

Thanks to network television continued refusal to put anything worth watching during the summer, I get to use that time to catch up on some quality television I may have missed. Namely the ones on premium channels that I don’t subscribe to in part because I am what the government like to classify as poor but more importantly if I subscribed to one of them I would sit around and watch movies all day trying to get my money worth, not accomplishing anything else. I went through two series this summer the first of which was HBO’s reinterpretation of ancient Rome (a review of the first season of Dexter is coming later this month).

Rome is basically a tale of two stories. The first follows the real life Julius Caesar and his fight for the city against former ally Quintus Pompey. Although those two tend to take the back seat to Caesar’s conniving niece Atia of the Julii and the two brats she has raised Octavia and Octavian. And they intertwine with plenty of names you should recognize from your history book, Mark Anthony, Brutus, and Cleopatra.

Certainly any history is already spoiled of some of the major plot points that take place in the eight years the first season covers. And even the people that don’t watch the History Channel constantly will first think of the famous last words of Caesar (or as Shakespeare would have you believe) when Brutus first walks on screen, but each second of the show keeps you engrossed that it doesn’t distract you that much until the events are imminent.

That is thanks to the second story following two Roman soldiers in the Caesar led thirteenth legion, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo. The names are actually taken from actual soldiers in the thirteenth, but there is no historical parallels accept in name. Instead these fictional characters have a Forrest Gumpian ability of showing up at some important events in ancient Rome and having a direct effect in some important tides of change.

The relationship of Vorenus and Pullo are the heart of the show and their odd couple appeal lead to some humorous moments. Pullo is a light hearted brut who loves the trill of battle and whose legion is basically the only family he has ever know. On the other hand Vorenus is a straight-laced family man how is loyal to a fault. No matter how each other try, they ever since in the first episode when Anthony sends them on a wild goose chase together.

But the most important characters are the sets themselves. The production value on the show rivals that of many big budget movies. No detail is missed on the massive sets to the point where not only are the viewer transported back to the time I wouldn’t be surprised if the actors themselves sometimes forgot they were on a soundstage. Of course it may have been too good because the cost of the show led to the series only having two seasons. With that said, the make-up department could have done a better job aging the characters who never seemed to age despite the eight years between the first and last episode. The biggest offender was Octavian who starts out as an eleven year old and ends nineteen yet looks fifteen throughout the whole season.

There are plenty of extra to devour on the DVD with eight of the twelve episodes getting an audio commentary. Two of the bigger scenes, including a gladiator match, get and in depth featurette as well as two featurettes, one focusing on the sets, wardrobe and actor and the other a History Channel worthy look at the time. There is also an introduction pieces to all the characters, which is good because there are a lot of them. But the best feature is All Roads Lead to Rome, an onscreen guide (think a classier version of Pop-Up Video) that is available for every episode that gives you more historic context to what is going on compiled by Jonathan Stamp, the historical consultant on the show.

Rome 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television vol. IV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Good Life - Kanye West and T-Pain



You got to love how Kanye West releases a video for a song that gives a shout-out to his release date buddy 50 Cent, who he is destroying after first day sales. It looks like Kanye will end up selling more albums in one day than 50 does all week. The video though is just your basic computer graphic enhanced clip with him and T-Pain doing their best Puff Daddy/Mase impressions. And what is with the two cuts Kanye is sporting the profile view? Well, at least it wasn’t his eyebrows.


How Far We’ve Come - Matchbox Twenty



This is one of the new songs featured on the upcoming Matchbox Twenty greatest hits package Exile on Mainstream. Get it? Instead of Main Street. Oh never mind. Can’t say I was ever the biggest fan of the band. Maybe because I had a neighbor who I shared a paper thin wall will in college who would blast Long Day for an entire month. That’s it. No other song, just Long Day. As for the video I doubt it will get any spins on television thanks to the equal air-time laws. And really why bother it is not like either Barack Obama or Hilary Clinton could win the national election.


Valerie - Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse



What do you do when you want to make a video but the person who sung the song is in rehab? Well if you are Mark Ronson you just pull a couple of look-a-like out of the crowd Courtney Cox style. Between his record, and the ones he produced for Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse and Christina Aguilera, if Ronson doesn’t take home producer of the year at the Grammy’s this year, there is something seriously wrong.


Good Enough - Evanescence



Pretty cool effects in this video especially the melting record. But since the last two singles haven’t caught on I’m not sure this one will either. Between Evanescence and Kelly Clarkson this hasn’t been that good of a year for angry white chicks. No wonder Alanis Morissette has been hiding lately.

No More Platinum, I'm Wearing Gold

To the hip-hop purists: remember back in the late nineties when one of your buddies slipped you a mix tape featuring a rapper who mixed wit (How to Rob) with grit (Heat) and filled the void left by the deaths Biggie and Pac?

To the fourteen year old white girls: Remember when the really buff guy that the uber-cute Eminem found who thankfully always walked around without his shirt (except for when he wore his bulletproof vest, but that just upped the bad boy quota), who some was always played in the club, and by club I mean the middle school dance?

And there are the two careers of 50 Cent and it is almost appropriate to write separate reviews for the two different groups of music listeners. But I won’t because I’m lazy. But for the rap purists they probably have already given up on 50 after openly courting the suburban females on The Massacre. But 50 was quick to learn just how fickle the teenage girl is (remember O-Town? no? um, never mind) when the soundtrack to Get Rich or Die Trying barely sold a million copies after his first two major label album sold thirteen million combined. And it did not help that Lily Allen was able to take the unlistenable Window Shopper and flip into something extremely catchy.

50, knowing he could never court back the hip-hop purist, completes his sell out on Curtis by bringing in the likes of Justin Timberlake (Ayo Technology), the chick from the Pussycat Dolls (who adds her vocal scratches Fire), and what album these days wouldn’t be complete without Akon. But it is laughable heard a dude that looks like Starvin Marvin sing about gang warfare on I Still Kill.

And 50 is quick to readily admit he’s has sold out and flaunt it on songs like I Get Money and Straight to the Bank. The two songs are head scratches apposed to head noders. I Get Money for some reason features 50 chanting the cheesy Hip Hop Hooray hook. But when Naughty by Nature does it is cheesy good, when 50 does it is cheesy bad. Then Straight to the Bank features an annoying “ha, ha, ha, ha” chorus, courtesy of the always annoying Tony Yayo, where you have to ask how could anyone think that was a good idea.

Curtis actually starts of with an actual classic 50 sound with My Gun Go Off and gets his gangsta on over a treacherous beat. But that quickly ends as the rest of the album is a muddled mess which is possibly thanks to having seventeen different producers listed for seventeen different tracks. Mary J. Blige brings some class to All of Me but it is just way to late to help the train wreck of an album.

And 50 shows traits of someone trying to grasp onto the spotlight by just recycling past hits. Follow My Lead might as well be the 22nd Question but switched out Nate Dogg with the dude from Growing Pains’ kid (a complete downgrade). And I will let you all discuss amongst yourself what the worse metaphor for sex is: Candy Shop or Amusement Park. What is the cheesy metaphor for the next album, a movie theater, cruise ship, state fair? Then Fully Loaded Clip tries to update How to Rob but without the underlining humor.

Even though the battle has been hyped for a month, it is a foregone conclusion that Kanye West will be the chart champ next week. 50 Cent’s real competition will be with Kenny Chesney for second. And don’t count out the High School Musical 2 Soundtrack pushing 50 down to fourth.

Song to Download - My Gun Go Off

Curtis gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

They Say I Talk with so Much Emphasis

Leave it to Kanye West to somehow come out with the most disappointing album of the year as well as the best rap album of the year. The disappointment was bound to happen considering his first album was not only the best rap album of this decade but holds up to the classics of the old school era. Then followed up that disk with one that pushed the limits of hip-hop, bringing in Jon Brion to co-produce, and came close to being as good as the debut.

The biggest disappointments on Graduation are when tries to follow the template of past jams. Drunk and Hot Girls, featuring Mos Def, have the same tongue in cheek lyrics that made Get ‘Em High and Golddigger fun, but the ultra slow beat just takes all the fun of this song not to mentioned I lived through many of the events in the song that bring up some bad memories. And one of the highlights of the previous two albums is when Kanye shows his sensitive side like on Family Business and Hey Mama but his man crush for Jay-Z on Big Brother, that closes out the album is a little creepy.

Plus for a guy who never shies away from controversial subjects, like why he suggested it was Reagan who introduced crack into the ghetto and of course his George Bush comment, it is a little disappointing he doesn’t take a stance on Big Head Barry on Barry Bonds (skip the forgettable Lil’ Wayne verse) even though he mentions, “My head’s so big you can’t sit behind me” yet no mentions of Barry’s oversized dome. That’s not to say Mr. West avoids all controversial statement saying in album opener Good Morning, “I’m like a fly Malcolm X, buy any jeans necessary.”

And yes, the album actually starts off with a song, not Bernie Mac who opened the previous two albums. In fact Kanye eliminated one of the biggest rap clichés with no skits on the whole album. And in a time when all the other rappers that get radio play are still trying to recreate a mix of Dre, Biggie and Pac or creating beats so simplistic so they make good ringtones even if the song as a whole suffers, continues to push music further.

Kanye has no problems with paying the sample rates just to get a snippet of Elton John’s Someone Saved My Life Tonight that even someone with the best musical ear wouldn’t recognize on Good Morning. Or making Chuck D’s “Here We Go Again,” scratched up by DJ Premier, part of the slow jam Everything I Am. Really, can you imagine Can’t Tell Me Nothing being as good without the “yeah’s eh’s and ha-ha’s from the Young Jeezy song? It is this attention to detail that has been lacking in hip-hop since they started enforcing sample payments.

But skits are replaced by newer rap cliché with T-Pain, who shows up on every song that doesn’t already have Akon on it. Thankfully the annoying voice box enhanced singer is only relegated to repeating the line from School Spirit during the club ready Good Life. Unfortunately a guest spot from the dude from Coldplay doesn’t work at all and just sounds out of place singing about “fireworks on Lake Michigan” on Homecoming.

If you are looking for some old school Kanye, The Glory would have fit well in the first album with its sped up soul sample playing thought the song and quirky lines like, “Two years the Dwayne Wayne became the Dwayne Wade. I’m like Gnarls Barkley meets Charles Barkley.” He even gives veiled me a shout out saying, “I'm on a world tour with Common my man.” (Okay he may have just been referencing A Tribe Called Quest who I stole the line from).

But on the rest of Graduation tries to push things further. All summer long it seemed like every other week a new Kanye West track leaked to the internet but that may have been a good game plan because songs like Stronger and Can’t Tell Me Nothing take a while for them to get burned into your conscience. Hopefully some of the disappointing tracks will start to grow on me in time too.

Song to Download - Can’t Tell Me Nothing

Graduation gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour: 2007 MTV Video Music Awards

Remember the catchphrase from what I think was the eighth installment of the Lethal Weapon franchise when Danny Glover (or was it Mel Gibson) said, “I’m getting too old for this (expletive deleted)!” Well that is how I have felt after ever Video Music Awards since, um, when was the last time Chris Rock hosted? But I thought this year was different when the show was announced thanks to scheduled performers Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse. Apparently MTV got word of this and since they have been trying very hard to keep anyone that is actually older than they are, both ended up not being able to make it to the show.

And so went the interest as most anyone who isn’t a fourteen year old white girl that still thinks Fall Out Boy are cool. But in the end I guess it is good that neither made it because they probably would have just been relegated to singing for thirty second with Mark Ronson before MTV cut to commercial. Seriously, if I wanted to hear less than a minute of a song I’d watch TRL. Eighteen different acts were featured but only five get to perform a full song. Why bother? Apparently you can watch all the suite performances at MTV.com but you might as well wait until someone rips the best to mp3. Here are some other thoughts on the show:

- We start off with the fairly worthless pre-show where they roll out John Norris again. Did this guy sign some sort of life-long contract? MTV has a stricter age limit than Menoudo yet he still gets rolled out every year with his boyband circa 1999 haircut. And there is something to say that even though T.I. was in the building, he didn’t bother to show up for the chick from the Pussycat Dolls performance, who relied heavily on guided vocals, even though he appeared on the song.

- The big show started of with the much hyped Britney Spears performance and despite with expectations were so low she could walk over the bar, she still found a way to slither under it. Now I have never watched America’s Got Talent, but her performance is what I would imagine what a Britney impersonator’s that was let on the show just so the Hoff would have something to laugh at would look like. She didn’t bother to lip-sync half the time and was a half to full step behind her back up dancers half the time and looked lost half the time. But I guess it would be hard to remember the steps and to move your lips when you spent three minutes trying to hold in your gut. Note to Britney: fat people don’t walk around in their bra and panties. Yeah you could have pull that look off thirty pounds ago but you now either need to put some clothes on or work in a thousand sit ups a day.

- MTV seriously dropped the ball with the opening. They usher out a train wreck that hasn’t been musically relevant for half a decade for an embarrassing performance when they should have convinced Vanessa Hudgens open the show asking the crowd, “heard any good jokes lately?” (Thanks to everyone who pointed out why people she all the sudden became the most popular search to the 9th Green). Everyone would have talked around the watercooler today how great the opening was instead of how horrible it was. Well actually most of the watercooler talk today was, “wait, the VMA’s were last night?”

- Apparently MTV had a contingency plan in case the Brittney performance died like it did with Sarah Silverman coming out to make fun of her. Granted the best line was, “that’s not nice calling Madonna a python” as well as her backhanded comments to Paris Hilton who once again tried to look upset before breaking out laughing.

- Rihanna wins the Monster Single of the Year as well as the monster cleavage of the year award.

- Jennifer Hundson (as Alicia Keys calls her) comes out to give the most worthless award of the night, the quadruple threat award. Since when is having a clothing line a threat?

- Holy Pat Smear sighting!

- Kanye West and 50 Cent come out to hype their release date. I have said this before and I will say it again, for the love of hip-hop be sure to pick up Graduation this week so 50 retires for coming in second. Anyone find it interesting that no one even mentions Kenny Chesney who has a legitimate chance to outsell either of the rappers. Don’t underestimate the buying power of hillbillies. But any ways. Be sure to look out for my Kanye review tomorrow and 50 on Wednesday.

- Forty-five minutes into the award show and we get our first full performance by Chris Brown who did a much better job lip-syncing that Britney. But that really say much about it. But is does say something that Rihanna stole the show from him.

- Justin Timberlake’s music sucks massively and acts like a complete tool ninety-five percent of the time but I like his blast at MTV and their reality programming while accepting an award from The Hills (but I’d like to state for the record that I would definitely stand underneath the brunette’s umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh). But then lost points when saying that The Simpsons were part of MTV’s reality programming.

- Seriously, Cee-Lo singing Prince while being backed by the Foo Fighters only gets thirty seconds of airtime?

- I must take this time to apologize to CBS for creating the most appalling reality show ever with Kids Nation. I didn’t realize MTV would counter with A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila (whoever that is), your token Bachelor rip-off but with sixteen lesbians and straight dudes. But there is something to say that both channels are owned by the same company (keep in mind this is also the same company that axed Veronica Mars).

- Are we really supposed to believe Shia LeBeouf didn’t really have express written consent to reveal the new Indiana Jones title (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). That is just insulting our intelligence.

- Who keeps inviting Pamela Anderson to these things? She and Carmen Electra should be well into their begging to get on the Surreal Life point in their life but somehow they still get on big name events. What’s worst is supposedly she is the reason for the most interesting thing that happened all night (Kid Rock sucker punching Tommy Lee) and MTV didn’t even bother to air it.

- Speaking of overrated chicks, Megan Fox may be one of the few people that rival Anderson in that category. She announces Timbaland who does some weird thing before tossing it to Linkin Park. What was that? Why even bother? Why not just have Fox toss to Linkin Park. Timbaland is just completely worthless.

- During the pre-show Rihanna mentioned she was going to rock out tonight and I thought maybe she would be backed by New Order (Shut Up and Drive samples Blue Monday), but now it is just Fall Out Boy who just took home Best Group. Yawn.

- Alicia Keys adds some class to program even if she was wearing that looked like Olivia Newton-John combined her wardrobe from the final scene from Grease and the Physical video. The new song was decent, but I’m not sure where I come down on Freedom ’90. I was hoping that maybe she would bring out George Michaels but alas no.

- Jamie Foxx comes out to show everyone how much he has had to drink while in Vegas then shuts ups just long enough for Jennifer Garner announce the Best New Award as Gym Class Fallout. Yeah, that seems just about right.

- MTV then rolls out a week old joke that really wasn’t that funny a week ago in the Miss Teen South Carolina who flubs while pretending to flubs. Nice. At least she gave the Wu-Tang Clan a shout out.

- The big surprise guest of the night is Dr. Dre (who is disturbingly showing his age). No he didn’t perform or even receive a Lifetime Achievement Award or anything interesting, no he is just relegated to handing out Video of the Year to Rihanna.

- The show ends with Nelly Furtado, Timberlake and Timbaland each performing a verse from their latest song before getting together as the song they did together start only for the track to stop so abruptly that Timbaland had to inform everyone five seconds later that that’s the end of the show. How apropos of an end.

- I’m really getting too old for this (expletive deleted).

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXV

Big News of the Week: NBC Really Want You to See Their New Shows: Last week I mentioned that NBC would be offering up three of there new shows, Chuck, Journeyman, and Life, to rent through Blockbuster. Then a couple days ago I mentioned that starting tomorrow, you could download those three shows as well as Bionic Woman through Amazon’s UnBox (if it is already Monday when you read this check the sidebar for a banner that will take you to the site). Then yesterday I was wondering through my On Demand feature on my television and saw an ad saying you can watch those four shows on the Entertainment On Demand channel as well as the High-Def on Demand channels up to two weeks before the shows even air (since the shows weren’t up yet when I checked yesterday I assume they won’t be available until tomorrow, but then again they may be there already and am just a moron when it comes to technology). Scooter Update: See below for the Amazon links to the shows:

Chuck
Journeyman
Bionic Woman
Life


For those of you that are too cheap to shell out the extremely low sticker price of twenty dollars for the best new show of last season, Friday Night Lights, the good people over at GiveMeMyRemote are giving away a copy of the first season for free.


Greek: Last week I forgot to complain about this week’s promo where the announcer said there was going to be a twist that no will see coming followed by an Cappie and Rebecca Logan in what looked like a compromising position. I was going to complain the whole twist was completely revealed last week only to find this week that the twist was that they didn’t hook up. Or was it that Cappie used the money to pay Casey back? Or did I miss the surprising twist altogether. Which may be plausible because if I’m not mistaken I was in a drug induced haze while watching the episode. And why was there even a new episode on Labor Day? Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Rescue Me: Another strange storyline with Tommy breaking out his dead cousin’s uniform to go on jobs when he was off duty. I guess it makes sense that without alcohol he goes out and does the only other thing that makes him feel anything. And it is a good thing he is still sober because the school room scene was another instant classic. Not so much a classic was the cheesy sitcom type storyline with Garrity’s little beer goggles bit with two different actresses. And I’m sure I would have laughed at the new phrase I learned, Beer Queer, had it not hit a little too close to home.



Promo of the Week: Don’t you have it when you see something on television, go to look for it on YouTube only not to be able to find it? It was watching the Browns opener, who got for the seventh straight year embarrassed… at home… to the evil empire Steelers, so that meant an onslaught of CBS promo. (On a side note, if any of you watch Kid Nation, you, my sir, are a moron.) One that caught my eye was the How I Met Your Mother season premiere with Mandy Moore talking about her involvement followed up by Neil Patrick Harris, in full Barney mode, telling the audience she would be appearing naked. And when Mandy disagree Neil told her to check her contract. I don’t know why the networks don’t instinctively put all their promos on YouTube, it is free advertising. When someone finally decides to le me run its network it will be the highest rated network ever (well at least in the cable and internet era).


Pick of the Week: Greek, Monday 9:00 ABCFamily; Rescue Me, Wednesday 10:00 FX: A rare double Pick of the Week from two shows that really couldn’t be more different, both of which end their seasons this week. Greek spent its solid first season riding somewhere in between a guilty pleasure and quality program but never really hit its stride thanks to a bad love triangle storyline. Then there is Rescue Me, after three great seasons of the best show on basic cable, it all came crashing down with its first shaky season of the series run. There were plenty of bright spots like a guest spot from Amy Sedaris, anything involving Garrity, and the Gavin family AA meeting, but there were more than enough uninteresting storylines and just off the deep end moments involving Tommy that just brought the season down as a whole. Let’s hope both show ends on a bright spot.

Hello, My Name Is Scooter McGavin...

... and I am a statistics-addict. It probably started in my youth, on Sundays the local paper had a full page of baseball leaders, ranking the top one hundred best players ranked by batting average for the hitters and earned run average for the pitchers as well as team averages for both leagues. I would scour over that page for hours analyzing every detail and every column.

Just to show you how stats obsessed I am, while in college I took a statistics course just for fun. Then while working for the intramural department, I implemented a program where we would keep track of stats in most major sports, and by we I mean me who created an extensive Excel spreadsheet and then went through all the game sheets and enter each stat into the spreadsheet.

This has gone into my adulthood where I play way too many fantasy sports, usually multiple teams per season. You want to know how bad it is: I actually play fantasy hockey (speaking of which, anyone who want to join my league, shout me a holla). I have cut it down to just one football league this season, but I bet had my draft not been rescheduled I would have most likely done a second one this past Wednesday.

This gets me to why I am writing this post, my latest stats time waster, the stats for this blog. I have six different stat counters hidden in the code for the 9th Green. Many apologies to the people who drop by everyday and have to wait an extra second or two for the page to load while those counters get the information. Although you can always subscribe (see the top of the side-bar) and see each new post without coming here by subscribing to a feed reader, and yes I have something that keeps track of all the subscribers, who accesses the feed and click on it.

This morning I did my daily ritual of enjoying breakfast while checking out my recent stats when I noticed that I had four times the usual hits I get by this time. This was constant with all of my counters. Under further inspection I saw that sixty-five percent of the pages that people landed on were on two different pages: my review of Vanessa Hudgens’s album V (see It Takes a Girl to Understand) and the archive of the week that post was part of.

Like I said in her album review, “If Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale both walked in on me right now I would be able to tell you which one is which.” And it took my rereading my review, which for the record I wrote way back in October of last year right in the middle of a run when I made a Chris Hansen reference every other post (including the one in question), to be reminded that both are cast members of High School Musical.

So this gets me wondering, why is an eleven month old post all the sudden so popular? Is there something I missed, did she release a new song from the album? Or was one of the songs recently used as a soundtrack to a montage on some crappy medical drama because the writers were too lazy to write any more dialogue? I sure hope she didn’t die or get kidnapped by Osama bin Ladin. This is something that may keep me up all night if I don’t figure it out. Feel free to give me any theories you may have.

Feed Your iPod vol. VI: You Never Know

Earlier this week I highlighted a video that turned out to be a big misstep by Dave Matthews (see below for link). Yeah Eh Hee is a decent jam in the context of a concert but a song by itself it just doesn’t work and the creepy video just made it worse. But there are still plenty of hidden gems in the Dave Matthews Band archives that never got any airplay that fit into my Feed Your iPod criteria.

One such song that has gotten plenty of play on my iPod in recent years is You Never Know off the Busted Stuff album. It was one of only two new songs that weren’t reworked from the previously shelved Lilywhite Sessions. As I grow older, the song takes on more significance, most notable the line, “Everyday should be a good day to die.” For some that may sound bleak, but for me it reminds me that you can go at any moment so live every day to its fullest so even if you suddenly die tomorrow, you can still look back and say, even if it was cut short, you lived a good life.

Below is a live version of the song which features a great opening from Carter Beauford, someone who is vastly overlooked when people talk about great drummer. Unfortunately Dave and the boys don’t (yet) sell their live albums on iTunes but you can pick up a live version of You Never Know on their Live at the Gorge album (see below for link).

You Never Know - Dave Matthews Band

Landry's Revenge

Tonight is the official kickoff of the NFL season and that means it is also the start of fantasy football. I had my draft a day later than scheduled thanks to the Yahoo servers crashing. But I think that was a good thing because I was so out of it due to the massive amounts of (legal) drugs I was on. I was so loopy that I actually put a post-it note on my monitor reminding me not to draft Michael Vick. And despite picking eighth (out of ten) I think I came out with a decent draft. There was only one round where someone took who I was eyeing before I had the chance (I had to settle for Kitna when someone nabbed Donavan McNabb right before me). In fact I was so confident with my draft I even have Brady Quinn a pity draft with my last pick. Here is this year’s roster for Landry’s Revenge:

QB Jon Kitna (Detroit Lions)
WR Larry Fitzgerald (Arizona Cardinals)
WR Roy Williams (Detroit Lions)
WR Chris Chambers (Miami Dolphins)
RB Rudi Johnson (Cincinnati Bangles)
RB Reggie Bush (New Orleans Saints)
TE Tony Gonzalez (Kansas City Chiefs)
K Josh Scobee (Jacksonville Jaguars)
DEF Baltimore Ravens

Bench
QB Philip Rivers (San Diego Chargers)
RB DeAngelo Williams (Carolina Panthers)
RB Warrick Dunn (Atlanta Falcons)
TE Benjamin Watson (New England Patriots)
WR Joe Horn (Atlanta Falcons)
QB Brady Quinn (Cleveland Browns)


Usually this is where I give my Super Bowl prediction but during last years post I mentioned that football is the hardest of all the sports to predict. Oh, and do you know what else I said last year: Colts over Bears. Yeah, that worked out well for me, so let’s see if I can make it two years in a row.

AFC
East: New York Jets
North: Cincinnati Bangles
South: Indianapolis Colts
West: San Diego Chargers
Wild Card: New England Patriots, Pittsburg Steelers

NFC
East: Philadelphia Eagles
North: Chicago Bears
South: New Orleans Saints
West: Seattle Seahawks
Wild Card: Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings

AFC Championship: Colts over Patriots
NFC Championship: Eagles over Saints
Super Bowl: Colts over Eagles

I Want My Music Television vol. III

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Eh Hee - Dave Matthews



Yesterday I mentioned you could download this video for free on iTunes but I didn’t actually watch it because I was too loopy on drugs to do so (currently I’m just down to Day and NyQuil, or as I like to call it: my Elvis regiment). Wow was this creepy, in a bad way. It is like U2’s Numb but without the unintentional comedy. The video was directed by Dave Matthews himself, who also played all the instruments too. Let’s hope he keeps the rest of his band around so he doesn’t do something like this again.


Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band




Your token Bruce Springsteen video, the song rocks but the video is pretty standard. Can’t they call Courtney Cox to make another cameo? Hopefully you picked up this song on iTunes last week when it was free, if not you can still pre-order the album.


Into the Night - Santana with Chad Kroeger



This is a new track from Santana’s upcoming greatest hits package. The dude from Nickelback had already show up on one of Santana’s previous all-star albums (a song much better than this one) but for some reason the song was released to the radio with the dude from The Calling singing. And like most new songs added to a greatest hits album, the song doesn’t live up to the being part of the greatest hits. And if any of you out their actually know the dude from Nickelback, please tell him never to straighten his hair ever again. He’s scaring the children.


In a story I broke this weekend, starting yesterday you could rent through Blockbuster a DVD that featured the first episodes of NBC’s Chuck, Journeyman, and Life. For those without a Blockbuster card, starting September 10 (next Monday) you can download all three of those shows, as well as Bionic Woman, from Amazon Unbox for free. And for you pretentious types that have Tivo’s, you can transfer any Unbox download to your Tivo so you can watch it on your televisions. In other television news, The CW sent me more exclusive videos of Reaper except I have been too lazy to watch them. But they also mentioned that they started up an Official Reaper YouTube Channel although I’m not sure if the “exclusive” videos they send me are the same anyone can regularly get in the YouTube channel. And they even started up special toll free number (1-877-IN 4 HELL) to call for further information about the show from Lucifer himself. Or at least the dude who plays the devil on the show.

Now Get Back to Work

Scooter’s note: I’m a little hopped up on a combination of Sudafed, Claritin, and Day/NyQuil, but I have had this post saved for a while now, so I though I post it. Now if you excuse me I need to get back to my death bed.

Everyday after firing up my internets, before checking my e-mail, the latest sports scores or my favorite blogs, my first destination is to check out the latest episode of The 9. No, not the ABC series that was canceled The Nine but the daily video podcast hosted by Yahoo. Everyday they countdown nine (obviously) cool, sometimes corny videos, stories, and the occasional shameless plug for various Yahoo sites condensed into around five minutes and you each day you can vote for your favorite.

If you have yet seen an episode you may think to yourself why would anyone enjoy this to the point that they make it the first place they go. The answer is simple, presentation which is thanks most in part to host Maria Sansone who is quite possible the cutest thing around and her cheesy delivery is what will keep you coming back. If fact I dare you after watching one episode not to spend the next day going back through the archives.


Oh and one more thing before I head back to my death bed, last week over on iTunes they offered up the new Bruce Springsteen song for free and this week you can get the brand new Dave Matthews video Eh Hee video for free. Hooray free stuff.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXXIV

Big News of the Week: You Can See the Latest NBC Shows at Blockbuster but not iTunes: Two big news items from NBC this week and I’ll start with the smaller item. Starting this Tuesday you can rent from Blockbuster stores as well as thru their online service a DVD that includes the first episodes of Chuck, Journeyman, and Life as well as a preview of Bionic Woman. If I am not mistaken, they did a similar thing last year on Netflix for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and we all know how that turned out. I always found this an odd marketing strategies as it may decrease initial rating which may hurt on the fence viewers who may not turn into the second episode fearing it would be canceled.

The bigger news is that NBC Universal has decided not to renew their contract that ends at the end of this year. And since the contract ends in the middle of the television schedule NBC has decided not to have any more new shows added to the iTunes library. I can’t say I’m too surprised by this because it seemed a little odd that it cost the same, $1.99, to buy three minute music videos, twenty minute sitcoms, and forty minute dramas. But I won’t be at all surprised if Apple unveils a pricing plan before then as Universal Music Group (are they related to NBC), the biggest record company, said they are pulling out also.

But the biggest surprise for me in this news was that NBC accounted for forty percent of all television downloads considering how they are supposedly the fourth network interims of rating. This just goes to show how big a sham the Neilson Ratings are. You are trying to tell me that a network is by far has the biggest segment of downloads, which are based on actual numbers would be all the way down at fourth in a glorified poll that are the Neilson Ratings. Seriously, what is the Neilson’s margin of error, 10%? Actually, that is a good question; does anyone know what the actual margin of error is for the Neilson Ratings? It is pretty shady that they don’t have that listed anywhere.


I have had the 9th Green Reader’s Poll up on my sidebar for album a month so I think I am going to take it down at the end of the month. If you have not taken it yet, please do so in the next week. It should only take a minute or so. And a big thanks to everyone who as already taken. Also this is your last chance to join my fantasy Dillon Panthers Football league. The live draft will take part on Yahoo this Tuesday at 9:00 PM EST. Drop me an e-mail (see sidebar) if you are interested in participating and I will give you the league ID and password.


Greek: I don’t know way, but the line Ashleigh said about needing more sleep because she was growing out her bangs out had me laughing all week. And even though they weren’t as cool as Crucifictorious but Darwin Lied was a pretty ingenious band name for a religious band. Which brings me to the best part of the episode, a new courtship for Casey in Dale. Now I know longer had to decide to root for Tool #1 (Even) or Tool #2 (Cappie) and can now root for a Dale-Casey hook-up. Speaking of hook-ups, what is with all the infidelity? Not really all the infidelity, but how all these characters can look past their partner’s infidelity so quickly? Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.


Rescue Me: You know the sign of a great character is when you start to smile just at the sight of them like with the captain’s daughter. Let’s hope the rest of the season (all two episodes) features more Amy Sedaris and less Gina Gershon.




Pick of the Week: MTV Music Video Awards, Sunday at 9:00 on MTV: I was actually excited when the show was announced, but two reasons why I was excited (Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen, have both dropped out and were replaced by T-Pain and Akon. What’s worse there is a rumor that the big “surprise” opening this year will be Britney Spears. Or as Kevin Federline will call the performance, Exhibit T in his full custody battle case. Expect a much smaller even this year as previous VMA’s had clocked in at five hours between pre, post, and the big show but is down to three hours with the pre-show starting at 8:00.


I had this up last week and I though I would put it in this post again to give something to play with as I’ll be taking tomorrow off. Below is a widget where you can vote for the Most Anticipated New Shows of Fall 2007. You can simply give it up or down votes or go to the UnSpun website and rank them in order or add new shows that aren’t on the list yet.

Just Them Good Ol' Boys

As September starts, we will be inundated with new televisions shows none of which will doubtfully be as great as the benchmark of great television, The Dukes of Hazzard, the latest induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. In my youth when bed time was promptly 8:00 but was allowed to stay up for one show a week and this was the show that was always chosen. The show definitely stood the test of time because years later, thanks to TNN (now the unwatchable Spike channel) would rerun the show in the afternoon and would routinely become a staple around the dorm in college. And The Dukes of Hazzard Playstation game got its share of playtime during that time. I actually had a roommate who would start up the game to hear the theme song.

As the song goes, the show stared two good ol’ boys, Tom Wopat and John Schneider. Schneider of course would go on to play Clack Kent’s dad while Wopat would go on to, well, guest on Smallville. The cousins in one large family tree also had a female cousin and an Uncle Jesse who fathered none of them. Now I was way too young to understand the greatness of Daisy Duke during the first run of the show but definitely appreciated her in the nineties when the daisy dukes came back in style.

Yeah the Dukes were an entertaining crew but the most entertaining characters were the bad guys led by Boss Hogg, who pretty much owned all of Hazzard County and was always trying to get the Duke boys arrested for something. And that is where Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane came in with his trusty basset hound Flash (full disclosure: I had a stuffed animal Flash that I think is packed away in a box awaiting for me to knock up some chick to give to that offspring). And down the power chain, the dumber the police were as Deputies Enus and Cletus were even more inept than Roscoe.

Filling out the cast were Cooter (greatest nickname ever), the Dukes mechanic and Waylon Jennings who served as the narrator and sang the theme song. But the real star of the show was the General Lee, a 1969 Dodge Charger. It is a good thing I was way too young when the show was on to drive otherwise I would have had tried jumping rivers and other things that were featured on the show. But I did go threw a phase where I refused to use a car door, instead entering and exiting solely threw the window.

Now I could do a whole post on how the Theme to Dukes of Hazzard is the greatest theme song ever (seriously, I won’t hear an argument for anything else), instead I will lent you see for yourself below coutesy of YouTube:



Just for the record, just like many building do not have thirteenth floors, there was never a fifth season of The Dukes of Hazzard. Along those same lines there was never a feature film version featuring a blonde Daisy Duke.

Download the first two season of The Dukes of Hazzard on iTunes.

Feed Your iPod vol. V: Paper Bag

Recently I scanned my iPod for potentials songs for this running segment and ended up with a playlist of over fifty potential songs for future Feed Your iPods (that is not to say I don’t want to hear from you, if you have a suggestion that fits the bill, write up a short paragraph and shoot me an e-mail and maybe I’ll feature it later). But there is something to say that amongst all these great songs, there is one that went into instant repeat mode.

I can’t say I was ever much of a big Fiona Apple fan in the beginning, there were a few good songs, one great song, one great speech (ah, remember when the VMA’s were interesting) but nothing really kept my interest. Like most people I ignored her second album mostly because I didn’t finish reading the album title until sometime last year. That was a shame because I missed a great song Paper Bag.

I have Zach Braff for introducing me to the song as it was included in the soundtrack to the otherwise forgettable The Last Kiss. I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from the hack who wrote Crash. But enough about pretentious movies. The song is full of quoteworthy lines thanks to Fiona not being afraid to let everyone know of her eccentricities (full discloser: I like my woman a little off kiltered), there is just something about the way she says, “I went crazy again.”

But the best lines are saved for the chorus: “Hunger hurts and I want him so much I would kill. But I know I’m a mess he don’t wanna clean up.” And you get the sense that Fiona knows of all these eccentricities when she sings, “He said ‘It’s all in your head’ and I said ‘so is everything’ but he didn’t get it.” There is also something to say about the pitch point production that hits every right note thanks to Jon Brion who has gone on to help out with Kanye West’s two most recent albums.

When looking to see if there was a video on YouTube so I could highlight the song I was surprised to see there was a proper music video produced for Paper Bag. It is disturbing that a song of this quality couldn’t get any airplay especially considering the song was released in 1999, the worst year in recorded music ever. Seriously, look it up, worst ever. The video makes the great song even better with the pseudo-musical feel to it, reminiscent of the McG videos from the mid-nineties (before he went off to make crappy movies and television shows) without the exaggerated color.

Paper Bag - Fiona Apple