There are three different reasons why someone would watch VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club: 1) For good heath tips, 2) Like other “celebrity” reality shows, to see has-been’s try for one last chance at the spot light, 3) to watch addicts go through withdrawal. As much as I’d like to say the reason I occasionally check out the show if for reason number one, the third is more realistically the reason. And lets face it as much as America wants to deny it, food has become an addiction.
Now it’s fifth season, Celebrity Fit Club for the first time will be split between Men and Woman. It is somewhat surprising the show has lasted this long as when it started I doubted they could continually find even C-Listers that would be willing to come on a show that basically is meant to show how fat they have become. But you really have to admire anyone who would come on a show like this because it shows they are willing to overcome the humiliation in order to try to live a healthier life. This years cast includes:
Maureen McCormick: I’m not sure what is more surprising, that Marsha Brady (the third Brady to be featured on a VH1 reality show) has packed on the pounds or that she is fifty. Although I have a feeling that news is worse for people actually alive when The Brady Bunch was on the air.
Tiffany: The former Mall Rat is just four years removed from appearing in Playboy (seriously? Her?). Just goes to show everyone how quick you can gain weight.
Da Brat: On her second tour of VH1 reality shows. How soon until she drops in on the Hogan family?
Kimberley Locke: I’ve never heard of her before this show but how bad of a karaoker do you have to be if you lose to Clay Aiken?
Dustin Diamond: Every season has their obligatory psychotic jackass, see Daniel Baldwin (his appearance makes his brother’s recent phone call seem reasonable) and Jeff Conaway, and it looks like Screech will be this one.
Warren G: There’s always a contestant every season where you go “No not him/her” and Warren G is that for me this season. Regulate is one of the Top 10 greatest rap songs of all time.
Ross the Intern: Again I have no clue who this is but I’m surprised that Ant would let someone on the show that is gayer than he is.
Somewhat of a lackluster cast, c’mon, where are all the morbidly obese “celebrities” this time around? For people who watch the show for the second reason, some of the most entertaining moments, and most weight lose, come from these people like seeing Bruce Vilanch doing the long jump are seeing Big Pussy take as much time to run a quarter of a mile as it does for some people to run a whole mile. And there was a little shake up with the judges as Linda Papadopoulos and her too much makeup is released and is replaced by the seemingly more no-nonsense Stacy Kaiser. Luckily Harvey Walden IV, the best token grumpy judge in all reality television, is back as the trainer. Hopefully he will literally smack Screech around this season.
Verdict: Not really must see TV, but I always get some good helpful hints on how I, myself, can live a healthier lifestyle, even if I tend to be eating potato chips whenever I turn the show on. Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women airs Sunday at 9:00 on VH1.
Quote of the Week: “That explains your low sex drive, and why you rented Memoirs of a Geisha last night. Man, that was the worst kung-fu movie ever.” (Earl Hickey, My Name Is Earl)
Song of the Week: Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd (as sung by Earl Hickey, My Name Is Earl)
Big News of the Week: Only nine days until the return of Veronica Mars. Now there are conflicting reports to just how safe the show is for returning next fall. Granted the people that say it is already canceled are hiding behind unnamed “sources” while the people who actually work with the show say they haven’t heard any such thing. Either way, the upcoming episode may be a make or break one. So if you do not currently watch, this is me begging, I’m on my knees, please tune into The CW May 1st at 9:00, or sometime afterwards, stream the episode at CWTV.com, and you can even download an episode over at iTunes for the low price of $1.99. You can’t even fill up your lawnmower for that low of price.
As for all of you already on the Veronica Mars bandwagon, this is the time to do some blanket marketing because, lets face it, The CW only likes to promote its reality shows. Remind people of the show on a blog, message boards, post a bulletin for all your friends at MySpace. If you have free time and are near a college, you can print out the flyer below (click to enlarge) and post them around high traffic areas on campus. And for more ideas check out SaveVeronicaMars.tv.
Scooter Update: Here are a couple of banners promoting the return of Veronica Mars. Feel free to put them on your own blogs as you wish as the fit nice and cozy on the sidebar. Many thanks to Jonathan P. for creating them.
RW/RR Challenge: The Inferno III: During my First Impressions on the show I said that the only way the Good Guys would win a challenge would be if the Bad Asses implode and it didn’t take them long to do so with infighting and Danny going insane. Can we put money on another person getting the boot for throwing a punch? Check out the latest episode over at MTV.com.
Lost: Yeah, this whole, will Charlie live or die thing is getting old quick. Hopefully this gets resolved by the end of the season because I was already hoping Charlie actually got hit with the arrow just so the whole thing isn’t drug out like typical Lost fashion. I guess how long this will go on will be determine by whether Desmond truly believed it would have been Penny on the other end of the parachute had he let him die. Back in camp I loved how Sawyer felt obligated to make Kate a mixtape because she was nice enough to give him another go around. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: After a slow start, this season is turning out to be one of the more entertaining seasons in recent years with three great tribal councils in as many episodes. The look on Alex’s face when votes started to come in for Eduardo after strutting up to Probst with the idol was priceless. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
Smallville: About half way through this episode I realized that I could care less about Chloe’s mom. I think she has only been mentioned twice and there was no lead up to this episode about her. And from the ending, it looks like we won’t be hearing from her again. But we did get the huge shocker that Lex faked Lana’s pregnancy. I totally didn’t see that coming. But I guess that explains why she never once was showing even though she had to be pregnant for awhile. Should be interesting how this plays out.
My Name Is Earl: After Our Cops Is On, I didn’t expect to see a funnier half hour of television this season, then enter Norm MacDonald and his, um, melons. And what better role for Norm to play than Burt Reynolds son as he was the best contestant ever on Celebrity Jeopardy. Then the scene where he steps in front of the pitching machine is the most cringworthy thing ever that made me laugh at the same time. It is probably too late to get him on later this season (unless he has already filmed then), but please have more Little Chubby next season. Norm aside, the opening scene hit very close to home for me because I too just kept my ties tied because I never learned how to do it myself until a college classmate forced me to learn after I asked him to tie my tie for me one too many times. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com or download the episode on iTunes.
Promo of the Week: Another great fan made promo, this time thanking Veronica Mars sponsor MasterCard for supporting the show. Although I can’t help but wonder where the Aerie Girl thank you is:
Next Week’s Pick: NFL Draft, Saturday and Sunday at 12:00 on ESPN: For those of us who’s team we root for haven’t sniffed the playoffs in years, this is our Super Bowl. And as an added bonus, tune in to see if Matt Millen takes yet another Wide Receiver with the Lions pick at number two which would be their fourth WR taken with their top pick (all in the overall top ten) in five years. As for the Browns at number three, please, please don’t take Brady Quinn. In fact, don’t take anyone, trade down and stockpile draft picks. But whatever you do, do not take Brady Quinn.
In completely unrelated television news, today is Earth Day and in honor of it Home Depot is giving away 1,000,000 Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs. I switched over to energy efficient light bulbs a year ago and there is really no reason not to switch if you haven’t done so yourself. It is a win-win situation, it is good for the environment (Hope Depot says that the million light bulbs will save enough energy it is the equivalent of removing 70,000 cars from the road), plus you will save a lot of money on your electric bill. And despite the extra cost, you will be able to make back the difference from regular light bulbs within a month and after that it is extra money in your pocket (plus they last longer). So if you are still unconvinced, stop by your local Home Depot and pick up a free one to see for yourself, but be sure to get there rarely because it is only why supplies last.
You may not know the name Ryan Shaw, but one listen to his music and undoubtedly you will think you have heard him before. Calling his music neo-soul would be a little misleading because there is nothing new about it. As evident on his debut, This Is Ryan Shaw, he doesn’t want to update the classic R&B sound, the Georgia native wants to recreate it.
The album is like a history lesson of R&B music for those born in the eighties or later as Shaw channels classic soul staples like Motown and Stax as unless you already know beforehand, you most likely won’t be able to distinguish which songs are rerecorded from the Golden Era of Soul and which ones Shaw and his writing team wrote for this record. And even though his backing band isn’t the Funk Brothers or Booker T. and the MG’s, they definitely get the job done helping recreate their classic sound.
The album starts off with the obscure Sharpee’s cover, Do the 45 which should start you two tapping and you should be up on your feet by the time the originals We Got Love and Nobody are done as well as a thrilling version of Looking for Love mad popular by Bobby Womack later on the album. Then Shaw shows he can croon with the best of them as evident on Wilson Pickett’s I Found a Love and I’ll Always Love You. If there were one downside to this album is that at thirty-five minutes, it is just too short.
From her first album to her second, there seemed to be growth to Avril Lavigne as she moved from the power pop to a more rock sound. After the second album the maturity seemed to grow as she got married and released the Celine Dion type power balled from a movie that no one saw. Then the Girlfriend video came out and everyone saw that Avril had traded in her neckties for high heels, hot pants, and pink streaks in her hair. It’s almost as see saw Britney shave her hair and thought that if anyone could fill the void of blonde pop princess with a trashy husband, why not her?
With the image makeover, the songs on The Best Damn Thing aren’t musically that far from those that made up her debut. But that makes it a step backwards; sure the songs here are catchy like Complicated, but they are most disposable of disposable pop whereas songs like My Happy Ending have a mush longer staying power. Everything Back but You is just a rehash of Sk8ter Boi, though it does have the best line on the disk, “I wish you were her, you left out the ‘e’.” Classic. When she slow things down things only gets worse. Keep Holding On is stuck on the end, and songs like When You’re Gone just bogs down the album.
One of the reasons why When You’re Gone loses its weight is because you can’t help listening to it and thinking it is about her husband. Seriously, do we really need sappy loves dongs about the dude from Sum41? Even more embarrassing for Whibley than the love song written about him is I Don’t Have to Try where Avril starts of the song in another faux rap like the breakdown from Girlfriend, I’m the one, the one that wears the pants.” But then again, how can you embarrass a guy who is a notch in Paris Hilton’s bedpost.
Hopefully by the next album, Avril will have stopped taking her giddy pills that she took in the making of this album because smiling and happy Avril. As catchy as some of the songs are, they will be forgotten by the time the next power pop girl releases her album of forgettable middle school anthems. And since they seem like they come out once a month, that won’t be too long.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
It seems like the soundtrack era has died. Back in the nineties every band seemed willing to send songs not good enough to make there own albums to the soundtrack, most of the songs which never actually appear in the movie so I guess it is a good thing. Another good reason major soundtracks have disappeared, the lame music video tie in where they would mix in scenes from the movie with scenes of the band that usually had nothing to do with the movie. Well maybe that will change with this great video from the Spiderman 3 Soundtrack with an elementary school play reviews the first two movies with Snow Patrol playing the role of the house band conjuring up images of the Crash Test Dummies video. But in true soundtrack fashion, the song itself isn’t nearly as good as anything on their latest album.
Remember the good ol’ days of 2003 when Arrested Development was still on the air and a little band was daring you to move? Now they are both back (sort of) and together in this video. Apparently Buster asking price is so high that Switchfoot couldn’t even afford the licensing fee for Guitar Hero. And if there were an video equivalent to jumping the shark (okay that was a blatant AD reference) it would be when the dead chick from Heroes goes all eighties.
Back when I reviewed the debut album from Corinne Bailey Rae (see Girl Go Ahead Let Your Hair Down), in an album chalk full of good songs, Trouble Sleeping received the coveted Song to Download for the album. And she finally released the song here stateside (it has been out for awhile in England). I dare you to listen to this song and not grab somewhere near and start dancing.
Okay, one more video. Words really cannot describe this video other than it may be the greatest thing ever in the history of YouTube:
The Surreal Life has to hold the record for most spin-offs. It is directly it is responsible for Strange Love, My Fair Brady and The Surreal Life: Fame Games. Strange Love itself gave us Flavor of Love which then spawned I Love New York (which my sources tell me will get a spin-off of its own) and the latest generation to The Surreal Life family tree, Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School. And what a premise the show has, take thirteen of the most outrageous Flavor Flav castoffs, including the porn star, the spitter, and the fighter and teach them proper etiquette. Although after taking a look at the cast, you can’t help but wonder how the girl that did her business in Flav’s hallway didn’t get on the show.
A closer look at the show, though, gave me some reservations on how good the show could be. First it ended up being a competition with weekly vote offs which means the most unrulely, i.e. most entertaining, would leave first making the latter episode uninteresting. Second, having Mo’nique as a Charm School judge would be like letting Paula Abdul judge a singing competition (um, yeah). Then as the show begins Mo’nique does the unthinkable, she burns the nicknames that Flav gave the girls instead opting to call the girls by the names on their birth certificates. I have enough trouble distinguishing Bootz from Buckeey as it is, now I have to figure out whom Larissa and Shay are.
But with all the reservations, Charm School lived up to all expectations. It doesn’t take too long to realize that Charm School isn’t going to help any of these girls and it didn’t take too long before the girls started fighting (over a blog at that) and crying. And as fake as some of them try to be in front of the judges, the claws come out during the interviews. And for the girls to stick around, they have to stick to The Ten Commandments of Charm School including 1) Check Thyself before Thou Wreck Thyself. Yeah, because when I think of proper etiquette, I think of Ice Cube lyrics.
Throughout the series, it looks like they will put the girls though a series of challenges that will make kissing Flavor Flav look like a cakewalk in comparison. The first being to rough it at a campsite which included a two hour walk which took the girls four hours to complete. Then the following day, the girls were split into two team and competed in an obstacle course stolen from Celebrity Fit Club. Naturally the team with Like That, err, Darra lost and were up for expulsion from Charm School. At elimination we get to better know the other judges including an editor for Essence and someone who works for the Miss California pageant who is your token mean-spirited judge. And if anyone knows where I can bet on when the dude gets slapped and by whom, please let me know. In the end, some random chick gets the boot.
Verdict: This will be either the greatest or worst show in the history of television. I leave it up to you to decide which one. As for a prediction, I saying that Goldie, oops, Courtney wins. Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School airs Sundays at 10:00 on VH1.
There is something odd about our society when we get most of our news solely from headlines. When I opened up my e-mail today, a quick headline caught my eye right before I went to the mail page: 20 Dead at Va Tech. I just sat there and stared at the headline instead of going to my e-mail thinking "this is not something that should be reduced to a small headline that most people pass over anyways." Granted I'm not sure what would be a good way to report this kind of news, but five word of less just doesn't seem right. Since I first saw the headline the number has gone up, but the news still remains jarring.
And this is something that will haunt the Virginia Tech campus for years to come as I know from experience. I did my undergrad at Kent State University and the shootings there over three decades ago still hard to escape it despite how hard the administration tries to distance the college away from the incident. A week wouldn't go by where I didn't pass by the May 4th Memorial as I typically had to go by it because of my job, to get to class or to play tennis as the courts are about a hundred feet away.
My heart and prayers go out to the friends and families who lost a loved one today and hopefully someday we as a society realized that we don't we don't need to have the right to own guns anymore.
Earlier this year, Fall Out Boy released Infinity on High and in his review for Rolling Stone, Rob Sheffield wrote:
We're living in a golden age of long song titles, and Fall Out Boy are leading the way. In the olden days, rock stars used parentheses and slashes to prove they were serious artists, refusing to reduce their verbiage for radio DJs or jukeboxes. But in the MySpace era, bands have discovered commas, and as a result song titles have gotten longer than Meat Loaf ever dreamed possible.
And that is the inspiration of this month’s Lyrics Quiz, the over use of the punctuation mark. And I hate to go all English teacher on you, but since this is a quiz about punctuations, you must give the full song title, no shorthand and with correct puncuation. I will be very picky. And of course you must also include the artist’s name. If you do get it right I will unbold the lyric and give you credit. I even threw in a bonus lyric because, 1) it actually doesn’t technically have any punctuation, and 2) I can’t imagine anyone remembering the song and even I had to do some research to remember who sang it. (Please don’t do so yourself unless you don’t plan on answering). So a bonus point to anyone who gets that right. Now onto the quiz:
1. Lenny Bruce is not afraid. (It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I feel Fine) - R.E.M; guessed by Tony) 2. And each time I feel like losing sight, there is one thing I want to know. ((What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding? - Elvis Costello and the Attractions; guessed by Slaygal1981) 3. Mars ain’t the kind place to raise your kids. (Rocket Man (I Think it's Going to Be a Long, Long Time) - Elton John; guessed by Monique) 4. In ’77 and ’69 revolution was in the air. I was born too late to a world that doesn’t care. (I Wish I Were a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in My Hair) - Sandi Thom; guessed by Tony) 5. Now once I was downhearted, disappointment was my closest friend. But then you came and he soon departed and you know he never showed his face again. ((You Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher - Jackie Wilson; guessed by Slaygal1981) 6. I know the territory, I’ve been around. It’ll all turn to dust and we’ll all fall down. Sooner or later you’ll be screwing around. (I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meat Loaf; guessed by Tony) 7. In and out my life, you come and you go. Leaving just your picture behind and I've kissed it a thousand times. (I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) - Four Tops; guessed by Slaygal1981) 8. There’s just an empty space and there’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face. (Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) - Phil Collins; guessed by Tony) 9. Can we hit it like we did one more time, from the top? Can we hit like that one more time? One more time! Let's hit it and quit! Can we hit it and quit? (Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine - James Brown; guessed by Slaygal1981) 10. Hey Cinderella, step in your shoe. I’ll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle, I’m your man. (Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car - Billy Ocean; guessed by Tony) 11. Albert’s fallen on the sun, cracked his head wide open. The world begins to disappear, the worst things come from inside here, and all the king's men reappear. (Einstein on the Beach (For an Eggman) - Counting Crows; guessed by Tony) 12. Girl, all I know is every time you’re here I feel the change. Something moves, I scream your name. Look what you got me doing. (Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe - Barry White; guessed by Slaygal1981) 13. I’m not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress. (This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race - Fall Out Boy; guessed by Tony) 14. I’ve done a lot of foolish things that I really didn't mean, didn't I? Seen a lot of things in this old world when I touch them, they mean nothing, girl. (Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Your - Stevie Wonder; guessed by Tony) 15. I got wasted, she got mad. Called me names then she called her dad. He got crazy and I did too, wondered what I did to you. (Anything, Anything (I'll Give You) - Dramarama; guessed by Tony) 16. Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me. Search your heart, search your soul and when you find me there you'll search no more. ((Everything I Do) I Do it for You - Bryan Adams; guessed by Doug) 17. I promised I would never leave you and you should always know wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away. (Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) - Billy Joel; guessed by Slaygal1981) 18. Yo we ‘bout to make you set speed. Peace to Baby Phife, Q-Tip, Ali Shaheed. Watch me knock you out like Apollo Creed. (Woo-Hah!! Got You All in Check - Busta Rhymes; guessed by Doug) 19. Just remember, you’re the one manl I can’t get enough of. So I’ll tell you something, this could be love. ((I've Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes; guessed by Doug) 20. Right about now it's about that time for me to holler. Girl, I wanna waller in the back of my Impala. Woo; don't need no tickets for this thing. (C'mon N' Ride It (The Train) - Quad City DJ's; guessed by Doug) 21. Green light, 7-11. You stop in for a pack of cigarettes. You don’t smoke, don’t even want to. (Stay (Faraway, So Close!; guessed by Slaygal1981) 22. Right before my very eyes. I thought that you were only faking it and right before my heart was taking it. (Baby, What a Big Surpise - Chicago; guessed by Slaygal1981) 23. Well here we go again; you've found yourself a friend that knows you well. But no matter what you do, it always feels as though you tripped and fell. (Steady, As She Goes - The Raconteurs; guessed by Slaygal1981) 24. Baby, baby it looks like it’s gonna hail. Baby, baby it looks like it’s gonna hail. You better come inside. (Jump, Jive, an' Wail - Louis Prima; guessed by Slaygal1981) 25. I had a dream, I had an awesome dream. People in the park playing games in the dark. (Say You, Say Me - Lionel Richie; guessed by Monique)
Bonus: Do you love me question mark. Please, please exclamation point. I want to hold you in parentheses. (I Love You Period - Dan Baird; guessed by Tony)
Quote of the Week: Like in Blackjack. She’s a 15 so you’re not sure whether you’d hit that. (Barney - How I Met Your Mother)
Song of the Week: Devil Town - Tony Lucca (Friday Night Lights)
Big News of the Week: NBC orders Six More Friday Night Lights Scripts: Hopefully this is a precursor for a full order for next season. Or maybe it is just a formality and the higher ups at NBC just want to see what is coming next: will next season start on right after the state championship and follow the players in the off season or will we fast forward straight to the start of the next football season (which would be right around the time for the Taylor’s will be adding a family member)?
How I Met Your Mother: This season, they are really trying their best to ruin Barney. And by ruin I mean humanize. The episode was rolling along to be another great episode until they had to go and tell us that it was Barney that got Lily to come back home. And for those keeping track at home, future Ted has no problem telling his kids about stripper and self pleasuring devises. Um, yeah. I guess that is better than the multiple times he has told them about having sex with women that are not their mother. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
Friday Night Lights: A decent ending to a stellar first season. Yeah the come from behind victory was improbable and it is doubtful that the cheerleaders would have to provide their own transportation to state, but it did lead to the great Landry Express scenes. And with their I hate guys bonding scenes, could we expect a Tyra and Lyla hookup next season? Yet another reason to renew this show.
And just a little bit on the Song of the Week, usually I add a link to iTunes where you can download the song, but not only is Tony Lucca’s Devil Town not on iTunes, I couldn’t find it anywhere on any of the internets. Anyone who can help a brother out, shout me a holla. Until then, like me, you can check out Bright Eyes version of the song as well as the original Daniel Johnston version to tide you over. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Lost: The big shock this week wasn’t that Juliet is still in cahoots with The Others as it was quite suspicious last week when she was so confident that the security system wasn’t running. No, the big shock was that Lost actually let us in on this as they wait to make a big reveal long after people stopped caring about it. I was fully expecting for the show to wait until the finale where there was a showdown with The Others with Jack having Not-Henry cornered, about to put in the final blow only for Juliet to come out of nowhere and nail Jack in the back with a steel chair, rip off her shirt to show she had an “I (Heart) Not-Henry” shirt underneath.
And now for my way out there theory of the week: The Others’ end game is to create a utopian society with only “good people” but the thing that keeps them from getting sick is what is rejecting fetuses in pregnant women. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: It was a great twist by making the losing team go straight to tribal council without a chance to strategize. Not so great was when Probst didn’t make Alex man up and pick a reason to vote off his tribemates leading to the token hot chick getting voted off. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
Promo of the Week: Only two and a half weeks until the return of Veronica Mars and the first episode back looks like it will have a semi-big name star making an appearance. If you avoid casting spoilers you may want to not watch it but he doesn’t reveal anything about his character or plot:
Pick of the Week: My Name Is Earl, Thursday 8:00, NBC: Many of you out there may think My Name Is Earl is hilarious but how could they possibly make it any funnier. Well it can with two words, Norm Frakking MacDonald.
Earlier this week I unveiled Part 1 of my Spring Music Preview (click the link to read it) and here is the second half of the post. Also if there is anything I missed, feel free to drop me a comment and I may add it later.
May 22 It Won’t Be Soon Before Long - Maroon 5: It may not be a good sign that I listed the album in my Winter Preview last year and it still hasn’t been released. Another bad sign is the first single, Makes Me Wonder which is mediocre at best.
May 29 Double Up - R Kelly: The bad news, no new additions to Trapped in the Closet. The good new, R has completed twenty-two new chapters of his opera, eleven of which will show up on DVD this summer. Hopefully the back eleven won’t be far behind. As for Double Up, expect a cavalcade of guest spot including Kanye West, Snoop Dogg, and Mary J. Blige as well as twenty, yes twenty, others.
June 5 Easy Tiger - Ryan Adams: In 2005 Ryan Adams released three albums, 2006: none. So after almost a year and a half without recording an album, he should have a few great song stock piled for this release. No word on how many other albums are scheduled to be released later this year.
June 19 Icky Thump - The White Stripes: After a detour with a more traditional band, Jack White is back with Meg with an album that was recorded within three weeks in Nashville.
Wild Hope - Mandy Moore: Mandy has gone the independent root with an album that is said to sound much like the cover album that was widely ignored four years ago (but featured a version of one of my favorite songs of all time, Have a Little Faith in Me). It will also be the first time Moore co-wrote every song on an album.
July 10 Finding Forever - Common: The Chicago rapper finally had a breakout success with his last album Be thanks to some production from Kanye West. On the follow up West returns behind the board along with will.i.am and the late J Dilla. You can also expect a guest spot from, wait for it, wait for it… Lily Allen. That is going to be classic.
Zeitgeist - Smashing Pumpkins: It’s been seven years since they have put out an album and twelve years since they put out a good one, can Billy Corgan get back to his nineties heydays?
No Date Announced Yet But Should Be Out By the Time You Go on Summer Vacation My December - Kelly Clarkson: I’m not sure who the brain trust is that decided to release an album called My December in the middle of summer but this may be a make or break album for the former karaoker. Clarkson has decided to write most of the songs with production from David Kahne (The Strokes). Surprisingly ex-Minutemen bassist Mike Watt shows up on half the tracks. Scooter Update: Just heard the first single Never Again, another done me wrong anthem but it is definitely no Since U been Gone. It is not even Behind These Hazel Eyes or Walk Away. Just on the strength the first single, I am leaning towards break right now.
Songs About Girls - will.i.am: Believe it or not, there was a time when the Black Eyed Peasdidn’t suck. This was of course the pre-Fergie era. And not only is his first solo album Fergie-less, there is actually no guest stars. Wow, can anyone remember the last rap album with no guest appearances? (I want to say To the 5 Boroughs)
After hyping Friday Night Lights for most of the season, I went back to check out my First Impressions of the show and was surprised to see I ripped the pilot to shreds saying the show was clichéd and outright ripped off Remember the Titans and Varsity Blues and ended the review by saying:
“NBC has two new football programs this year, but I have a feeling Friday Night Lights will be off the air before Sunday Night Football plays its last game of the season.”
Mmm, harsh. I’m not sure where my mind changed about the so (if I were a betting man I would put my money on when Landry got more screen time), but I’m glad I didn’t jump ship.
Now I’m not entirely sure where the turning point was when I went from finding the show clichéd to being one of the upper tier of great television but I have a feeling it had to do with the greatness of Landry Clarke, Matt Saracen’s socially challenged, math loving best friend. Explaining why Landry was great would be a post upon itself so instead here are the top ten greatest Landry moments from the first reason of Friday Night Lights (click the links to be taken to YouTube where available, if you know where to find those I don't have, or are technology inclined enough to make one and upload them, please drop me a comment):
Landry isn’t the only great character on the show, if fact every character on the show is well crafted, from the cast members right down to the guest stars (well Tyra’s mother aside). You end up getting deeply involved with each and every one of them and the camera work and the locations makes you feel like you are actual resident of the town of Dillon, Texas. You are heartbroken when Tyra gets assaulted. You feel the pain when Jason finds out his girlfriend cheated with his girlfriend. Emotions wash over you when Mrs. Taylor confronts her daughter when she finds out she is planning to have sex. And even as clichéd as most of the games were (how many games did they come from behind from to win on the final play?), you still get the tingles when the games start and are on the edge of your seat when the games inevitably goes down to the wire.
Now I am not one to talk about acting because there are actually very few great actors in Hollywood. And most acting awards are given not to the best actor but to the best written characters as great writing can make moderate actors seem like great actors (see Sarah Michelle Gellar in Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Case in point, I am an award winning actor. Am I a great actor? No. I just had the best role. With that said, if any award show doesn’t recognize Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, they will instantly lose all credibility, well except the Golden Globes because the lost all credibility years ago when the voting members started taking bribes. But whenever Chandler and Britton were on screen together I started to smile because I knew something great was coming up. And nobody does the passive aggressive annoyance better than Chandler.
For those that are still not on the Friday Night Lights bandwagon, all episodes are still available for streaming on NBC.com or you can click the picture at the top of this post to download the show on iTunes. With nothing much on during the summer, checking out this show will be time well spent.
Since I have long been out of the MTV demographic I haven’t watch the channel (except for a few episodes of the current season of The Real World because Brooke LaBarbera is clinically unhinged, and I mean that in a good way) since the last Real World/Road Rules Challenge ended so I was completely unaware that that latest started up until a buddy of mine asked me if I was going to watch it last night. Of course I was going to watch the last great bastion in the MTV reality crown.
This time around we get the third installment of The Inferno hosted by some X-Game athlete, whom like most of these hosts, despite participating in death-defying trick is uber-stiff. But really who need an interesting host when your cast is full of nut jobs? The teams are divided into Good Guys and Bad Asses for I believe the second time in challenge history. There was one questionable selection with Davis Mallory playing for the good guys yet every time I happen upon his season of The Real World he is belligerently drunk and throwing around racial slurs. Even in the commercial for the next episode he goes all mean girls of the females of the house which of course leads to Brooke having a hissy fit. Sadly she wasn’t one of the four Denver cast mates in the Inferno.
The rest of the cast is primarily made up of casts from the last five years with Susie Meister (RR Down Under) and Tim Beggy (RR 2) being the lone old school contestants. And in spite of just being kicked off the latest season of Road Rules for fighting, his second time getting kicked off a show for throwing a punch, Abram Boise returns sporting a clean shaven and Barry Bonds sized dome. But for those who had Chris “CT” Tamburello (RW Paris) getting drunk and belligerent at twelve minutes into the season in your office pool, congratulations, collect your money. And as an added bonus it is actually CT that got thrown off first for throwing a punch. In the highest of high comedy, he punched Davis after he answered yes to if he could take a punch. The best is when Davis said he punched him out of nowhere. Um, Davis, he asked you if you could take a punch. For future reference, if a drunken psychotic meat head asks you if you can take a punch, say no if you don’t want to be punched.
But it looks like it will be a long season for the Good Guys as they lost the first two challenges and it doesn’t look like they have a chance to win anything. It is not a good sign that Alton Williams (RW Las Vegas) voluntarily goes into the Inferno as he may be the only dude on his team has any chance of winning one. Plus they have three of the weakest chicks, Susie, Paula Walnuts (RW Key West), and Cara Zavaleta (RR South Pacific). Really there only hope if there competitor become unhinged much like CT and with Abram and Tonya Cooley (RW Chicago), who apparently since the last challenge has gotten married and taken up soft-core porn, on the team that could be very likely.
Verdict: Unfortunately no Brooke or Casey Cooper, the two most entertaining MTV reality stars in years, but looking from the season promo, this season will still be thoroughly entertaining (really, why can’t the MTV promo monkeys work for Veronica Mars) and if I’m not mistaken I think I heard one of the contestants say she was pregnant. The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno III airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on MTV (and naturally will be repeated constantly throughout the week) and you can stream full episodes over at MTV.com.
The first quarter of 2007 was easily the worst quarter ever for the music industry. To put things in perspective, when the soundtrack to Dreamgirls topped the chart in January, it wouldn’t have even cracked the top twenty five years ago. Granted when you don’t release albums people want to buy you should expect some low numbers with only Norah Jones and Fall Out Boy being the only big name acts to release an album in the first three months of the year with the latter certainly not living up to expectations. But the consumer is partially to blame too as Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse both put out great debuts that were widely ignored by the general public. Apparently you have to be featured on crappy television shows before anyone will buy your record these days.
Things may be starting to pick up as record companies are starting to release albums featuring songs that will be the soundtrack of your summer. Here is part one of my spring preview with the second coming later this week. If there is anything I missed feel free to drop me a comment and maybe I’ll add it to the second part, if it is not already there. Keep in mind, release dates are scheduled to change.
April 17 Best Damn Thing - Avril Lavigne: Avril has already perfected the pseudo-punk girl attitude, but after adding a few years, getting married, and putting out a Celine Dion type balled last year, it looks like she is swinging back the other way with the straight out pop song of the first single off the album, Girlfriend. Click her name to pre-order this album on iTunes and recieve a bonus track.
April 24 Favourite Worst Nightmare - The Arctic Monkeys: One of the biggest buzz bands of last year. Well at least until they actually released an album. They did still land at number 14 of my 50 Best Albums of 2006 list. Click there name to pre-order this album on iTunes and recieve the video for Brianstorm for free.
One Man Revolution - The Nightwatchman: Rage Against the Machine were legendary, Audioslave were great (at times), now after conquering rap-rock and classic rock, Tom Morello gives the singer-songwriter genre a try with what he calls, “the vibe of Springsteen’s Nebraska, Dylan’s The Times Are a-Changin’ and maybe a pinch of Johnny Cash and Leonard Cohen.”
Evil Dead: The Musical -2006 Orginal Off-Broadway Cast: I never knew they made a musical of this but if it is a third as good as the movie it will be great. Can we dare hope for an Army of Darkness musical in the future?
May 1 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Miranda Lambert: Think Carrie Underwood if Before He Cheats was considered one of her nicer song. Miranda even has her own karaoke background as the loser of Country Star.
May 8 Strength & Loyalty - Bone Thugs-n-Harmony: My boys form just a miles north of my back and hopefully they didn’t bring any Phil Collins samples this time around.
The Boy with No Name - Travis: Remember them? No? Oh, never mind then.
May 15 Minutes to Midnight - Linkin Park: I featured the video to What I’ve Done last week which sounded pretty much like their old sound without the beats or pseudo rap and the guitar turned up fitting into their no rap-rock credo. But with Rick Rubin at the helm, last seen actually making Justin Timberlake not suck, it can’t be too bad. Click there name to pre-order this album on iTunes and recieve two exclusive bonus tracks (one only available for pre-ordered).
In a measure of full discloser I’ve never been a big fan of producer Timbaland. His songs are too erratic. Certainly there are a few tracks that I’ve liked (We Need a Resolution, Big Pimpin’) but, really, if you have heard one Timbaland produced track, you have pretty much heard them all. And to call his most recent work, Timbaland Presents Shock Value, a solo album would be stretching it as only the opener Oh Timbaland is the only track that doesn’t have a featured guest. For those keeping track at home, the seventeen track disk features twenty-one different artists.
The album can be divided into three different sections starting off with the hip-hop section featuring raps from Dr. Dre, Missy Elliot, 50 Cent, Tony Yayo, and Timbaland’s longtime running partner Magoo, who, let’s face it was always the better rapper of the two. Much of the beats from this section sound like leftovers from the production of Justin Timberlake’s album, so much that I’m pretty sure that The Way I Are is straight off the album. Most of the guests are topical too as two of them name drop Britney Spears, one talking about her lack of undergarments the other about her lack of hair.
Timbaland on the other hand likes to spend most of his verses verbally assaulting Scott Storch which may be the softest feud since the Another Bad Creation/Kriss Kross feud of 1992. C’mon, in one corner you have the dude who gave up Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan and in the other the guy who produces ex-boy banders and Pussycat Dolls. But anyways. Even sillier choice of words goes to Timberlake as he tries to conjure up his inner gangster on the couple of tracks he shows up on. It really can’t be a good sign that Nelly Furtado seemed the most credible one on Give it to Me.
Next is the R&B section where Timbaland for the most part takes a back seat to singers as he is pretty non-existent on these track and doesn’t leave any vocals on Fantasy. He then breaks out of his box with the last section collaborating with rock acts She Wants Revenge, Fall Out Boy and The Hives for Throw it on Me which would have been a great track had Timbaland not started rapping on it. Timbaland saves the oddest partnership for last with 2 Man Show featuring Elton John who just contributes piano as the song only really features a choir singing a chorus while Timbaland just repeats nonsense. I guees in the end this disk is better than Diddy’s most recent star-studded affair in the battle of producers, but that really isn’t saying much. Hopefully Detox is coming out soon to show these two how it is done.
There are three different reasons why someone would watch VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club: 1) For good heath tips, 2) Like other “celebrity” reality shows, to see has-been’s try for one last chance at the spot light, 3) to watch addicts go through withdrawal. As much as I’d like to say the reason I occasionally check out the show if for reason number one, the third is more realistically the reason. And lets face it as much as America wants to deny it, food has become an addiction.
Maureen McCormick
: I’m not sure what is more surprising, that Marsha Brady (the third Brady to be featured on a VH1 reality show) has packed on the pounds or that she is fifty. Although I have a feeling that news is worse for people actually alive when The Brady Bunch was on the air.
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