I Thought I Needed a Nia Long

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. I advise you to watch them first (the links to the video are the bold headers, inside the post will lead you to iTunes where you can buy the song and in some cases the video itself) before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things.

Kanye West - Touch the Sky

Say what you want about his music or outspokenness, but Kanye West is one of the most entertaining video artists today. His latest venture is a take off of Evil Knievel’s famous jump across the Grand Canyon with a nod to Kanye’s most famous line about leaving your chick for a white girl. The white girl in question in this video is Pamela Anderson; insert your own Hepatitis C joke here. Kanye even got Nia Long to appear in the video even though he rhymed her name with “sheets I skeeted on.” Maybe, Nia, much like my censor, doesn’t know what “skeeted” mean (and for you old people out there, it is very, very dirty). And not one to pass up beating a dead horse, Kanye even alludes to his Bush comments too. You can also check out my album review here - You Gotta Love it Though, Somebody Still Speaks From His Soul.


Death Cab for Cutie - Crooked Teeth

The main reason why this is entertaining is the obvious Sledgehammer comparison. Sadly there are no dancing chickens in Death Cab for Cutie’s update. You can also check out my album review here - A Melody Softly Souring Through My Atmosphere.


Santana - Just Feel Better

Now this one didn’t make too much sense and had to watch it a couple time to see if I missed something. The video almost seems like a reject idea from Aerosmith’s Alicia Silverstone era. So let me get this straight, chick gets groped by, meets dude in the principal’s office, goes with dude to a party, party gets busted, dude dies in car crash, chick flees back home and is welcomed with open arms from mom, then everything is back to normal at the end as chick is back in the class of the teacher that groped her. Did Steven Tyler tell Santana that as long as they put a token hot chick in as little amount of cloths as possible, no one will question the lunacy of the premise? Plus since he’s Steven Tyler, he makes out with a chick in a bar that has nothing to do with the other story. And I could be wrong, but I think the token hot chick is Nikki Reed. You can also check out my album review here - Your Fire Fills My Soul.


Cat Power - Living Proof

I have absolutely no comment on this video by Cat Power. In fact if you figure out what’s going on in this video, please pass that information onto me. I’m sure there’s some artsy undercover here, but it just went over my head. Oh, if you are a religious fanatic, you may want to skip this video. You can also check out my album review here - No Wind or Waterfall Could Stop Me.

Going Back to Cali

This week, both Veronica Mars and Lost trembled in fear of dudes singing karaoke and chicks skating around a track again and again so there is no Toss Up this week. Lost will be back next week as Claire finally decides to try to get her memory after seemingly not caring for the past month on the island. Of course now she has a psychologist at her disposal with the arrival of Libby. And considering they are putting off a Libby-centric show, one can expect it will be a biggy much like the last flashback of the original cast with Hurley and the introduction of the numbers. What’s in store tailie? Many have speculated she is an Other, which I doubt. I still lay hope that she’s the person Jack’s wife left him for, but I think she too will have a major connection to the numbers and Hurley’s nut house buddy, Leonard.

We are still about three weeks until the next new Veronica Mars, the one with the chick from Get This Party Started Laguna Beach (see the press release - Toss Up 10 1/2). Next week (3/1) is another repeat of Ahoy Mateys, the one where Mac inadvertently tries to pick Vice Principal Clemmon’s kid.

But the big new in the world of Neptune, is that I will me making a visit this week. I’ve been racking my brain recently about what I should ask. Should I slyly bring up that I’m an award winning actor? Should I make a Matchbox Twenty joke upon meeting creator Rob Thomas? Should I bring up Pooty Tang if I get to meet Kristen Bell? Or the better question is if I can keep from staring at her after seeing those Maxim pictures? But anyways. I just got my itinerary for the 1st Veronica Mars Blogger Press Day and here is what my day will look like for next Monday:

9:15 am - Meet PR escorts in the lobby.

9:30 am - A Veronica Mars production van will take everyone to the set.

10:00 am - Observe Veronica Mars production scenes.

1:00 pm - Crew lunch with Rob Thomas.

2:30 pm - Depart set.


Now my plane doesn’t take me back to Ohio until 10:50 so maybe they will take pity on me and le me hang around the set a little longer, but I’m not holding my breathe. And just a heads up, because of the trip, there will be no posts on Sunday or Monday and I will return Tuesday with a few stories and pictures and will have a couple updates throughout the week, so keep your eye out for that.

Driving Further From the Heartache

Many people will remember Shawn Mullins for being the only person who name dropped Bob Seger in a Lullaby. Or maybe you just remember the video for that song because it featured an under aged Dominique Swain in a bikini. Either way, the gravely voiced singer seemed to slip back into obscurity just as fast as he escaped from it. But even though he has fallen of most people’s radars, Mullins still continues to release music including the new album, 9th Ward Pickin’ Parlor.

The album as a whole sounds as if it could have been recorded long before the advent of the CD, or cassettes and 8-trackd for that matter. Except for Beautiful Wreck that sound like something that should have been included on Bo Bice’s album, and that’s not a good thing. The opener, Blue as You envisions sitting on a porch in a rocker with your guitar while watching the sunset. Lay Down Your Swords, Boy sound like a missing track from the O Brother, Where Art Thou? Soundtrack.

Sometime the old time music doesn’t work out too well as in Cold Black Heart where Mullins utilizes a fiddle but still isn’t able to pull off the country song. Find Love sounds like a poor attempt at a Hawaiian folk song and hearing a folk song about going to Alaska while playing the banjo just seems wrong on Talkin’ Goin’ to Alaska Blues. All Fall Down sounds as if Mullins was re-imagining Jeff Buckley as a bluesman. The album ends with an actual old song, a remake of The Animals House of the Rising Sun an obvious chose when the song is about a place in New Orleans and this album’s title alludes to the area. Only the great thing about the original is the driving organ which is virtually gone from the new version and replaced by some soft acoustic strumming. The song, much like the album is a good idea that just doesn’t hit all the right notes.

Song to Download - Lay Down Your Swords, Boys

9th Ward Pickin’ Parlor gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

My Dinner with Dr. Abbott

Last night I had the privilege of going to a dinner for Breast Cancer survivors, for which my mother is one and brought me along, with guest speaker Tom Amandes whom many of you may know as Dr. Harold Abbott of Everwood. His mother-in-law just happens to run the local chapter that my mother belongs to and wrangled him to speak at their yearly dinner at the fancy restaurant in the area. In fact, for those that didn’t realize, his real life wife, Nancy, was also on the show in the early years as Colin Hart’s mother.

Nancy was up first, as she was the hometown girl, then introduced her husband as “the star of… I’m mean one of the stars of Everwood” to which Tom stepped to the mike and clarified “I am THE star of Everwood” and got a good laugh. Tom is very much like hus characher without the air of arrogance that Dr. Abbott tends to have (well except for his opening line). He started talking about a neighbor he had when he first moved to Utah, where the show is filmed, and that he was diagnosed with cancer after moving from Utah to Cincinnati. His buddy then later asked Tom to participate with him in a Ride for Life that is put on by Lance Armstrong yearly in Austin. Tom has even been back since even bringing Nancy back once and had a funny story about how, at the end of the race there are two routes, one for survivors and the second for other rider and he and his wife accidentally finished where the survivors were supposed to go. Tom also talked about his own mother his mother own fight and how on the day of her surgery he was filming a scene where his on-screen wife was going threw a very similar operation. She is now doing fine and he even sent the yellow flower he got after going down the wrong route for the Ride for Life event.

Nancy then came back up to the podium and read the Manifesto of the Lance Armstrong Foundation:

We believe in life.
Your life.
We believe in living every minute of it with every ounce of your being.
And that you must not let cancer take control of it.
We believe in energy: channeled and fierce.
We believe in focus: getting smart and living strong.
Unity is strength. Knowledge is power. Attitude is everything.
This is the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

We kick in the moment you’re diagnosed.
We help you accept the tears. Acknowledge the rage.
We believe in your right to live without pain.
We believe in information. Not pity.
And in straight, open talk about cancer.
With husbands, wives and partners. With kids, friends and neighbors. And the people you live with, work with, cry and laugh with.
This is no time to pull punches.
You’re in the fight of your life.

We’re about the hard stuff.
Like finding the nerve to ask for a second opinion.
And a third, or a fourth, if that’s what it takes.
We’re about getting smart about clinical trials.
And if it comes to it, being in control of how your life ends.
It’s your life. You will have it your way.

We’re about the practical stuff.
Planning for surviving. Banking your sperm. Preserving your fertility. Organizing your finances. Dealing with hospitals, specialists, insurance companies and employers.
It’s knowing your rights.
It’s your life.
Take no prisoners.

We’re about the fight.
We’re your champion on Capitol Hill. Your advocate with the healthcare system. Your sponsor in the research labs.
And we know the fight never ends.
Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life.
This is the Lance Armstrong Foundation.
Founded and inspired by one of the toughest cancer survivors on the planet.


Then came the question and answer which focused mostly on the show although Tom didn’t really say anything that anyone with an interne connection probably didn’t already know like Everwood will be returning back to Monday on March 27th with a two hour episode. He did talk briefly about the network merger and didn’t sound albeit too hopefully that Everwood would be back next season, but suggested heading over to the WB website and leave a message on one of their message boards expressing your support of write the network for those without the internet (this was an older crowd). Also when asked if Nancy would reprise her role as Mrs. Hart, she said they had written her into an episode about AA and was asked to come back by the casting directors but the producers ended up nixing the idea and most likely we will never see her character again.

I didn’t think to bring a camera to take pictures of the event, but if my mom passes along any that were passed along to her, I’ll go ahead and put them up here. For more information on breast cancer or the Lance Armstrong Foundation click on the following images:

The Closest You Ever Came to Being Black Was Watching the Cosby Show

In about two weeks Crash will do battle for Best Motion Picture of the Year at the Oscars as well as awards for acting, writing and directing for it’s powerful portrayal of race relations in Los Angeles over two days near Christmas. And by powerful, I mean extremely boring. Basically what the movie boils down to is two hours of white liberal guilt, the movie was written and directed by Paul Haggis, writer of Million Dollar Baby, and needless to say the liberal movie academy ate the movie up giving it six nominations.

The movie starts off with a car crash involving Don Cheadle (NFL Playoff Commercials) and Jennifer Esposito (Dracula 2000). Cheadle is really shaken up and goes off to la-la land before we head back to yesterday. I have to say the going back in time has become the most annoying plot devise currently used today in movies and television. There should really be a moratorium on using it. What’s worse in this movie, and this may ruin it a little, but not as much as watching it played off ruined the movie, but they never come back to this crash later in the movie unless I fell asleep and completely feel asleep.

Early on we are also introduced to two black men, Larenz Tate (of the wrongfully shelved Love Money) and Chris Bridges (who you may, or more likely not know as Ludacris) who complain how a white woman clutches her husband as they come closer only to carjack the couple. And knowing Bridges is a rapper in real life only makes his soliloquy against the genre cheesier. The couple in question is Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality 1 & 2) and Brendan Frasier (Encino Man), who is the District Attorney who is mad that being robbed by a couple black dudes may hurt retaining the black vote in the next election.

There’s also yet another good cop, Ryan Phillippe (Mr. Reece Witherspoon), bad cop, Matt Dillon (Herbie: Fully Loaded) tandem who pull over a black couple just for fun and the black dude, Terrence Howard (Mary J. Blige’s Be Without You video) just stands there and lets Dillon molest his wife, Thandie Newton (The Chronicles of Riddick). Just for fun, Haggis even threw in families full of Hispanics, Asians, and Arabs just so no one would feel left out. Well except the Indians are once again forgotten. At least you still have baseball teams that make light of your racial stereotypes.

Each of the characters eventually intertwines with each other showing up in other storylines much like a Lost flashback. But much like this season of Lost, it all becomes ho-hum when you see this happening mostly because you see it coming a mile away. Speaking of Lost, be sure to look out for Jin who makes a blink and you miss it cameo. Also don’t forget to look out for Tony Danza (The Tony Danza Show), in the most interesting scene in the whole film, as a movie producer who complains that an actor isn’t “black” enough, Priceless.

Crash gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Be My Little Rock & Roll Queen

The next band to cross the pond in hopes of American dominance is The Subways. And much like the original British Invasion, it seems like the band is going after the teenage girl demographic but instead of making their debut on the Ed Sullivan Show like the Beatles did in the sixties, in the new millennium The Subways instead introduced to themselves stateside to young girls everywhere via the soundtrack to The O.C. Mix 5 with the indie rocker Rock & Roll Queen. The band screamed and turned the guitars up and overpowered the other mope rock that has populating other bands on the soundtrack.

Now the band has finally released the first album on this side of the pond, Youth for Eternity. With the thrashing Rock & Roll Queen, it’s odd to here the album start with a folksy touch with the song I Want to Hear What You Got to Say, but the song quickly starts bouncing around sounding very similar to the Queens of the Stoned Age’s No One Knows. The same bouncy cadence shows up again later on the album with Oh Yeah. The band quickly picks it up with the next song, Holiday with an opening riff that sounds very similar to Green Day’s American Idiot. Um, is anyone noticing a trend?

Even though each song has a very distinctive style ranging from folk, to garage rock, to punk, each song sounds like it’s been done before. Mary and No Goodbyes even sound something Oasis might have done in the early years. In fact the band almost sounds as if the dude from Franz Ferdinand joined The White Stripes (The Subways are a band with two guys and a girl, no word if there was a pizza place involved), not that it would be a bad thing. And they even let the chick take over the vocals on a few verses and occasionally add a few soft harmonies giving the songs an extra boost. Youth for Eternity may not be the album that breaks The Subways, but that breakout success may only be an album or two away.

Song to Download - I Want to Hear What You Got to Say

Young for Eternity gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Winter Olympics Week 1 Round-Up

The Winter Olympics have almost hit the midway point, not that anyone has noticed. I’m sure most everyone has heard the blame game already with people pointing out the ability to read the results on the internet, the lack of stars heading into the games with the two biggest being Michelle Kwan, who dropped out, and Bode Miller, who so far has been a virtual no show. Not that the games have been able to produce any new stars. And even though America has already racked up a few gold’s, I doubt the average person couldn’t name one aside from the Flying Tomato and even then I doubt anyone knows his real name. Of course the most blame lies in the Winter Olympics themselves because, besides Hockey, there are not any real sports in these games although I find curling tranquil and that new snowboarding event is extremely entertaining. But on Wednesday when I turned on the Olympics all I saw was dude’s figure skating. I can almost understand why people turned to American Karaoke instead. Granted I instead utilized the off button as I don’t care to watch dudes poorly singing crappy songs.

But there is another culprit to blame the lack of interest of these games, Maxim and magazines of that ilk, for not bombarding us with half named pictures of Sasha Cohen and the other female athletes. Remember two years ago in the run-up of the Greece games there were plenty of pictorials of various women who were going to participate in the games, like Amanda Beard at right. I’m sure every guy has those picture luring somewhere on your hard drive and I bet many of you stopped reading this after seeing the picture and went looking for them. Even Playboy got into the action, granted if my memory serves me correct, almost all of those athletes didn’t actually qualify for the game. Oh well, it's not as if anyone who saw the pictures cared anyways.

Even though there isn’t as many as the Summer Games, there is still plenty of hotties to choose from like the previously mention Cohen. And supposable there is an ice dancer so hot, Congress put her on the fast track to naturalization, as she is Canadian, and Bush took time out of fighting the war on terror, fixing social security, rebuilding New Orleans, and distancing himself from Jack Abramoff to sign off on it to make sure she made the deadline to be eligible to compete from the USA. Oh, and if you want to see her for yourself, her name is Tanith Belbin if you want to see more pictures than the one to the right. Feel free to use the google search box on my sidebar. And aside from Belbin, is any guy not interesting is seeing the curling sisters out of their warm-up suits? The skin mags really dropped the ball on this. Plus why didn’t Sports Illustrated, with it’s annual Swimsuit Edition coming out during the Winter Olympics, not try to capitalize on it by having a layout of the competitors, not that I’m against the Maria Sharapova layout they went with instead.

And one more almost Olympics topic, to the dude who came to my site from U.S. House of Representatives looking for pictures of Natalie Coughlin, please stop wasting my tax money by searching for pictures of chicks. Don’t you have better things to do? For those that don’t, here’s another picture of Tanith with her partner, a.k.a. one of the luckiest people alive. Seriously, this is just like the weird drama guy in high school who got to hang out with all the hot drama chicks.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 10 1/2

Well last week I mentioned if last week's the promo where the clock reaches zero was a hoax I would never watch the show ever again (see Toss Up week 10). We got to see the clock hit quadruple zero. Then after about ten seconds and some Egyptian hieroglyphics (see below) Locke enters the code and the clock actually resets again. What crap. I would have been happier if absolutely nothing happened when the clock ran out, but to be able to reset the clock after it hit zero was cheap.



But the clock sequence wasn’t even the cheapest part of the whole episode. No that goes to the revisionist view of the original Iraq War. Not one American was killed do to enemy fire during the conflict and there was little to no contact between the Iraqis and the Americans, but Lost sought fit to change history with the Sayid flashback. Then to add salt to the wounds, they decided to throw in a big twist in that it was the American, not his countrymen, where he learned how to torture people. That was a straight up cheap move. And what really was irritating is Sayid has had the most entertaining flashback with all the military aspects. And this one was going good, and I was even ready to forgive the revisionist history, but they crossed the line making the American soldiers the bad guys.

But other than that, last night’s Lost was great. Oh wait, I forgot about the Sawyer storyline that was a complete rehash of him hunting the boar last season, except this season his opponent was a bull frog, and he traded Kate for Hurley as a companion. Yeah, that was worthless. The only redeemable part of the episode was following Sayid from the point Rousseau, making her first appearance this season, led him to the possible Other up to Sayid wailing on the dude. Personally I’m guessing hot air balloon guy is one of Them, which is not to be confused with an Other (see my theory on Them and Others here - Toss Up). For some reason next week is showing the two hour pilot and will return later finally realizes that she lost her memory weeks ago and tries to get it back. And for some reason does so by going into the jungle with Kate and Libby. Yeah, that will be a safe trip.


Veronica Mars, on the other hand has taken a slight hiatus with new episodes due to the amount of competition in February. In fact here’s the press release from UPN:



So two more weeks of repeats, then no more for the rest of the year, I can live with that. For the record, here’s the line up for the next couple weeks:

Wednesday, February 22 at 9:00PM - Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner

Wednesday, March 1 at 9:00PM - Ahoy, Mateys!

Wednesday, March 8 at 9:00PM - No Veronica Mars?

Then just in times for the Ides of March a new episode and here's the press release:


NEPTUNE HIGH'S CLOSETED GAY TEENS TURN TO VERONICA FOR HELP WHEN A BLACKMAILER THREATENS TO OUT THEM, ON "VERONICA MARS," WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15 ON UPN

UPN'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED Co-Host Kristin Cavallari ("Laguna Beach") Guest Stars as Veronica's Closeted Classmate Kylie,
Jeffrey Sams ("Soul Food") Guest Stars as Baseball Legend Terrence Cook, and Tina Majorino ("Napoleon Dynamite") Returns as Mac

"Versatile Toppings" -- Neptune High's closeted gay teens, including cheerleader Kylie (guest star Kristin Cavallari), turn to Veronica for help when a blackmailer cracks into a private online bulletin board and threatens to publicly out everyone associated with the site unless they pay $5,000 apiece, on VERONICA MARS, Wednesday, March 15 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on UPN. Sarah Pia Anderson directed the episode from a script written by Phil Klemmer. Tina Majorino guest stars as Mac.

Meanwhile, Keith continues to work on a case for Jackie's dad Terrance Cook (guest star Jeffery Sams), while looking into bus crash leads. Later, Logan romantically pursues sophomore Hannah, much to her father's distress.

Lyrics Quiz - "Love" Songs

Not one to pass up a chance to beat a dead horse, I’m dedicating this month’s lyrics quiz to Valentines Day one day too late. For those who watch Jeopardy should know that the word “Love” is in quotes for a reason. For those who don’t, tough luck. But anyways. As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most correct lyrics will be added to the Winner’s list on my sidebar. For those fans of Veronica Mars, be sure to check out the press release UPN passed on to me regarding tonights and upcoming episodes below the quiz. And those who don’t, there’s no better time to check out the first season DVD, either buy it, rent it, or borrow it as soon as possible. Now on to the quiz:


1. There’s a girl right next to you and she’s just waiting for something to do. (Love the One Your With – Stephan Stills; guessed by Croaker)
2. I’ll be with you when the stars start falling. (Sunshine of Your Love - Cream; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
3. You love her, but she loves him, and he loves someone else. (Love Stinks - J. Geils Band; guessed by Croaker)
4. I must be fine ‘cause my heart’s still beating. (Fell in Love with a Boy - Joss Stone (would have accepted White Stripes too); guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
5. A simple prop to occupy my time. (The One I Love - R.E.M.; guessed by Angie)
6. The rock, handle like Van Exel, shake phonies you can’t get next to. (Crazy in Love - Beyonce' and Jay-Z; guessed by Crazy Like a Fox)
7. The tears of an angel, the tears of a dove, spilling all over your heart from above. (Cry Love - John Hiatt; guessed by Bozette)
8. This life is a beautiful one, I know I’ve seen it come undone, I know most definitely, it’s gonna be you and it’s gonna be me. (Love, Love, Love - Tristan Perttyman; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
9. Baby when I think about you, I think about love. (I Feel Like Makin Love - Bad Company; guessed by Croaker)
10. The question to everyone’s answer is usually asked where we’ve been. (Jungle Love - Steve Miller Band; guessed by Croaker)
11. Do you laugh enough to cry? Reply. (Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots; guessed by Croaker)
12. Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray. (Bizarre Love Triangle – New Order; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
13. I can see you are lonesome just like me and it being late, would you like some company. (I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You – Tom Waits; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
14. You keep looking back in desperation over and over and over again. (It's Only Love - Byran Adams & Tina Turner; Sha Shinizzle)
15. Your kisses lift me higher like a sweet sound of a choir. (Burning Love – Elvis Presley; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
16. There’s a devil in that angel face. (I Can Love You Better - Dixie Chicks; guessed by Bozette)
17. Don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t take a credit card to ride this train. (The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & the News; guessed by Angie)
18. One kiss and boom you’re the only one for me. (Game of Love - Santana and Michelle Branch; guessed by Bozette)
19. Used to make love under the red sunset, I was making promises I would soon forget. (When Love Comes to Town - U2 and BB King; guessed by Bozette)
20. I was born in Little Rock, had a childhood sweetheart, we were always hand in hand. (I Was Made to Love Her - Stevie Wonder; guessed by Bozette)
21. I spy tears in your eyes. They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention. (Sowing the Seeds of Love - Tears for Fears; guessed by Bozette)
22. I can make the run or stumble, I can make the final block; and I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle. I can make all the stadiums rock. (Making Love Out of Nothing at All – Air Supply; guessed by Angie)
23. Love is all around you; love is knocking outside your door. (Love Song - Tesla; guessed by Sha Shinizzle)
24. Sinking my fingertips into every inch of you ‘cause I know that’s wht you want me to do. (This Love - Maroon 5; guessed by Angie)
25. In my life there’s been heartache and pain, I don’t know if I can face it again. (I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner; guessed by Angie)


From UPN:

Veronica Mars is facing a lot of competition in February, so to protect the series and to make sure that as many people as possible can watch the original episodes, we're going to air repeats for the next few weeks. The good news is that when Veronica returns some time in early March, we'll have nothing but original episodes through the season finale - so the goal here is, after this, no more repeats.

When There's Nothing Left to Say What Can You Do?

Have you ever wanted to like Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson but found Avril too abrasive and Ashlee not abrasive enough? Well I have the duo for you, The Veronicas. They are not to be confused for The Donnas or Veronica Mars for that matter; instead the twins from Down Under took their name from the Archie’s. Sadly there isn’t a cover of Sugar, Sugar anywhere on their debut album, The Secret Live of the Veronicas. Oddly enough, the albums closes up with a cover of what could be the worst one hit wonder of the nineties, Tracy Bonham’s Mother, Mother.

The album itself stars off with the raucous teenage in lust rocker, 4Ever which would sound out of place on other records by the other young female guitar-based pop starlets of the genre. In fact most of the Secret Lives of… wouldn’t sound out of place on those other albums. Other the regular themes are here, the other woman (Everything I’m Not), the failed relationship (When it Falls Apart), the good relationship (Speechless), I’m moody (Revolution), bad parenting (Mother, Mother) and many of these themes are repeated over again and again.

One new theme is found on Secret where the girls confront a would be stalker. But the girls brush him off because, “I never looked at you that way ‘cause I always thought you were gay.” Ouch, now that went a little too far. Maybe I was wrong when I called them less abrasive than Avril because she never went over that line. In the end, if you are a fan of the chicks with guitars genre who say things like “When I freak you understand,” the Veronicas are for you, if not, no reason to start with them.

Song to Download - 4Ever

The Secret Life of the Veronicas gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

George Bush Doesn't Care About Black Puppets

Just to show how evil Fox is, this past Friday the network passed off the four remaining episodes of Arrested Development against one of the biggest ratings drawl, the Olympics Opening Ceremonies to very little fanfare or promotion. And all of this was after already moving the show to Mondays before quickly pulling it off the air so they could air repeats of Prison Break. Only to bring it back shortly after sweeps running back to back episodes, and really the “next time of Arrested Development” just isn’t as funny when there is a new episode promptly afterwards, before pulling it again so people could watch Todd Bridges fall on his butt.

But really Fox shouldn’t receive as much blame as it has gotten. Yeah, they should receive plenty of blame for pulling Reunion, Wonderfalls, Keen Eddie, and Firefly too soon, but they did give Arrested Development three season. The real blame lies in the people who would rather watch has-beens trying to skate, dudes singing karaoke, dudes pretending to be millionaires, or dudes pretending to be getting married more than a brilliantly written show. Or blame the awards show that actually said that Desperate Housewives was funnier than Arrested Development.

Even though this season of Arrested Development was a creative drop off this year from previous seasons, which could have been attributed to all the shuffling and episode cuts, but it was still funnier than anything on television not named My Name Is Earl despite what a bunch of foreign journalist try to tell you. The Bluths were still trying to keep their patriarch from going to jail even though it was pretty obvious that George Sr. was guilty and more the family, well Nichael tried to help him out the guiltier George would look. In the end all of the charges were dropped thanks to, of all things, wiretapping. But not that the Bluths could stay out of trouble too long as Lucille got hunted down by the SEC much like they did George Sr. at the very start of the series.

This season saw some brilliant cameos starting with the long arc of Charlize Theron as Nichael’s special girlfriend, not that I figured out how special she was until around the time Nichael did. And her before plastic surgery photo had me on the floor dieing for a while. They kept on coming in the closing episode with Justine Bateman hitting on her real life brother (and if there is anything I’ve learned from Arrested Development is that incest is extremely funny), and Judge Reinhold as himself playing a judge in a new television show with his house band the William Hung Jury. Even Ron Howard himself made an appearance when Maeby pitched her family’s life as a television show which Howard turned down but said it would make for a good movie.

There are way too many jokes to quote so I won’t even try (well aside from this post’s title) but each was well crafted and really rewarded the loyal viewer. Although I will mention, just incase you didn’t realize, the show that George Michael asked Maeby to watch, but was censored by Fox (showing again just how evil they are) was Veronica Mars a show that both of the youngest Bluths will be showing up on soon. Hopefully Arrested Development will get picked up by other network, specifically ABC. With ABC’s alliance with iTunes I wouldn’t be surprise that the show would end up finding a bigger audience online much like the growth of The Office since it’s been offered on the service. One place I don’t want the show ending up on is Showtime, not because I don’t subscribe to the network or would just to see Arrested Development, but I think the show would be much funnier under the guides of censorship. Getting cheap laughs from curse works and nudity stifles creativity. Granted this did lead to a good line when the Home Owners Association (HBO) pulled out of a charity dinner to which Michael retorted, “Well I guess its show time.”

Arrested Development 3.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Think We Need to Pull a Panama

What better place to open a movie titled Sahara then in an Ironclad off the Virginian shore during the Civil War? Apparently our hero of the movie, Dirk Pitt played by bongo enthusiast Matthew McConaughey, thinks that the same Ironclad sailed the Atlantic and wound up in Africa. And that isn’t the most far fetched part of the movie because Penelope Cruz plays a doctor from the World Health Organization. And to remind you that her character is smart, they routinely put her in glasses in hopes of fooling you.

Rounding out the cast is go to goofy sidekick Steve Zahn as Pitt’s goofy sidekick that he’s known since high school. William H. Macy makes a couple appearances as Pitt’s boss. And Dwight Schrute himself steps out of The Office to add some comic relief when Zahn’s goofball antics just aren’t enough.

The film itself plays like as if Indiana Jones was a present day oceanographer. But instead of those darn dirty Nazi, Dirk has to save his love interest of the moment from African Warlords who is poisoning his enemies and sees the WHO as a threat. But it takes a while for the movie to move along and seems as they deleted some important aspects from the movie, which is based on a popular series of books on Pitt, due to time limits. Some of the action scenes are cool including an odd wind-surfing sequence. But really not cool enough to completely save Sahara.

Sahara gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.