Amazing day yesterday as I spent over ten hours glued to either my TV screen or computer screen watching the Live 8 concerts. I was a little disappointed in the MTV/VH1/ABC coverage as I was under the impression that MTV and VH1 would be doing two separate broadcasts with maybe one focusing on the Philadelphia concert and the other focusing in on the London concert. Instead we got one solo show just showed on two separate channels. What a waste of airtime. And being that it was MTV, what we got was small snippets of some the performances instead of full one or even full songs in most case. They rarely went outside of London of Philadelphia stopping into Paris once (Shakira), Berlin three times (twice for Green Day, once for Audioslave), Japan once (Good Charlotte), Canada twice (Jet, Simple Plan), Africa twice and they never went to Rome once. And there is a good list of great performers that didn’t even make it to TV:
Sarah McLachlan (with some dude named Josh Groban on Angel)
Brian Wilson
Snow Patrol
Ms. Dynamite
The Cure
Sheryl Crow
Crosby, Stills and Nash
Duran Duran
Barenaked Ladies
Byran Adams
Pet Shop Boys
P. Diddy
Lauryn Hill
Neil Young
Rob Thomas (Well that wasn’t much of a loss actually)
And the song selection was poor sometimes too. We had to sit threw Will Smith’s Switch when they could have let us see the classic Summertime or the cheesily entertaining Theme to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. So I found myself watching more and more from my computer thanks to AOLMusic.com. Here are some of my highlights.
Goosebumps moments:
- Paul McCartney with U2 in doing Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band live for the first time ever with some faux Beatles in Pepper outfits playing french horns
- U2’s set including their version of Unchained Melody
- Coldplay bringing out Richard Ashcroft to sing Bittersweet Symphony
- Black Eyed Peas with Stephan and Rita Marley to sing Get up Stand Up
- Kanye West backed by a Sting section - Dido joined by Youssou N'Dour during Thank You
- The opening to Dave Matthews Band's Dreamgirl - Robbie Williams singing Angels they way it supposed to - without Jessica Simpson
- Green Day covering Queen’s We Are the Champions
- Stevie Wonder and Adam Levane of Maroon 5 doing a duet on Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours
- Pink Floyd whole set, extra Goosebumps at the beginning of each song
- Maroon 5 covering Neil Young’s Rockin in the Free World
- Alicia Keys’ tribute to Luther Vandross
- Jay-Z backed by Linkin Park who did a faithful Public Service Announcement
Tear Jerkers:
- Bob Geldolf bring out an African Girl who, at the time of Live Aid, was only given ten seconds to live
- Annie Lennox playing Why over a montage of AIDS victims
- The finale in London with everyone singing Hey Jude with Paul McCartney
Other interesting tidbits:
- Snoop Dogg was able to get 5 F-bombs pass the MTV censors (and the N-word once). Granted he mumbles some and they weren’t part of the song. The bigger slip was they Pink Floyd let the blatant word in Pink Floyd’s Money or maybe they let it slip because it Floyd.
- Beyoncé wore a skirt that was as short as it could have been without showing off her Kootchiepop.
- I was a little disappointed that no one pulled a Phil Collins this year.
- The only American acts in Rome - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill?
- UB40 were introduced saying they were going to perform a medley of their hits. Shouldn’t it been a medley of other people’s hits?
- Who invited Randy Jackson? I had to laugh when I spotted him playing a tiny keyboard when Mariah Carey already had two keyboarders on stage with two large keyboards themselves.
- What was up with Stevie Wonder’s moustache/beard thing around his mouth? Who let him out of the house like that?
- There were a lot of lyric changes to reflect the festivities including U2, Sting but my favorite was Kanye West switch the line in Jesus Walks into, “And George Bush gets paid off of all of that.”
- When I saw you could download Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club from the concert on iTunes, I thought the whole concert would be available, but alas the only other song available (for now hopefully) was The Long and Winding Road. Click on the links to get them for yourselves.
If you missed the concert, AOLMusic.com is still streaming Paris, Canada, and Philadelphia. London was stopped sometime during the 1st rebroadcast and Berlin was taken offline sometime last night. Hopefully there is a comprehensive DVD coming because, even after all I watch, there is still a lot I missed.
I'm currently watching the Live 8 concerts. Check them out for yourself at AOLMusic.com. If you missed it, they are rebroadcasting it there too.
With the reunited Pink Floyd showing up at Live 8 tomorrow, it seems only right that my favorite Floyd album be the next inductee into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Granted Wish You Were Here was a concept album about the one member who most likely won’t be showing up this weekend Syd Barrett. To be honest, I’m not even sure if Barrett is even still alive.
I was originally turned on to Floyd during the early nineties when The Division Bell was released. Sonically, it was different from anything I have ever heard before. Then, like most of my generation who missed out on the Waters’ era, I went back and discovered their earlier work. Although most of the rest of my generation were drawn more to Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall, I always thought that Wish You Were Here was their best work.
The album somehow is able to have Floyd’s most adventurous song and it’s most simple song on the same album and makes them work within the concept of the album. Shine on You Crazy Diamond is a massive opus that bookends the album with parts I-V opening up the album and VI-IX closing it out. Each part takes the listener to a different place sonically even though only two of the parts feature singing. On the other end of the spectrum, the title track is a simple, but effective, song with dual acoustic guitars intertwining throughout the song. And even though the song was about their lost friend Barrett, Wish You Were Here is a great song to listen to if you are missing a friend, family, or significant other.
Filling out the rest of the album are Welcome to the Machine and Have a Cigar. Neither of the songs would be found on anyone’s top 50 Floyd song list, but both capture the “machine” of the music business and how it could drive someone crazy.
Artwork in another big aspect of the Floyd experience and Wish You Were Here has the most striking artwork in their history. It is a picture that appears to at a movie studio (or part of the machine) with two men (very seventies looking might I add) shaking hands. Only one of the men is on fire. Also the picture is bordered by a light yellow, but if you look at the upper-right hand corner, you’ll notice a little of the border has been burned off. It is very subtle and a great introduction to a brilliant album.
What I would like for you to do is to take a look to the left of your screen at the banner I have had up for a couple weeks. I’m sure you have all seen the annoying ads on the TV by now with the likes of Brad Pitt and Bono. But at the heart of the campaign is a good cause. They are trying to get the United States as well as the worlds other wealthiest countries to eliminate extreme poverty and global AIDS. As a fiscal conservative (unlike our spend happy President) I am almost always against more spending that will raise are already massive national debt, but the thought of people, including many kids, who die daily from starvation (50,000 or every three seconds to be precise) trumps any fiscal concerns I might have. So if you would like to join the cause, go ahead and click any of the links and fill out the simple declaration. While you are there, you can even pick up one of the wristbands that have become the official charity accessory (myself, I just stick with the solitary LiveStrong wristband). Also check out the Live 8 concert on MTV and VH1 airing this weekend featuring Coldplay, Snoop Dogg, Audioslave, Dave Matthews Band, Stevie Wonder and a reunited Pink Floyd in London. I hear a DVD will follow too, and even if it didn’t go to a good cause would be worth the cost with the Pink Floyd reunion.
Another awards show that has been solid over the last couple years is the ESPY’s put on by ESPN. Granted I, and most like you, have no clue what ESPY stand for, but anyways. With MTV constantly putting on bad award shows (thanks Jimmy Fallon), the ESPY's are poised to overtake the MTV awards as the most entertaining award show of the year. Like the MTV Movie Awards, the awards are picked by us, the audience, so make sure you drop by ESPN.com and vote. Matthew Perry is your host and I feel he should at the very least do a solid job. The best part of the ESPY's, the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, has yet to be anounced. So here is the list of nominees and who I voted for. Keep in mind this is an abridged list as I could care less about awards handed out to Best WNBA Player, Best Outdoor Athlete, or the Best Person Who Can Only Make Left Turns.
Best Female Athlete
Seimone Augustus, LSU Basketball
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Swimming
Maria Sharapova, WTA
Annika Sorenstam, LPGA
Who I Voted For: Natalie Coughlin.
Who Will Win: Maria Sharapova
First of all you need to eliminate Annika because a golfer should never be named best athlete. Then gold metals trump any other award and Coughlin got two last summer. And her vote has nothing to do with her being on my top 5 list.
Best Male Athlete
Lance Armstrong, cyclist
Payton Manning, Indianapolis Colts
Bode Miller, U.S. Ski Team
Michael Phelps, U.S. Swim Team
Vijay Singh, professional golfer
Who I Voted For: Michael Phelps
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong
Again, for me, gold medals trump everything and Phelps’ eight tied an Olympic Record. But Armstrong has won the last two tears so I expect a repeat.
Best Team
Baylor Women’s Basketball
Boston Red Sox
New England Patriots
San Antonio Spurs
USC Football
Who I Voted For: San Antonio Spurs
Who Will Win: San Antonio Spurs
No college team has ever won this, and there is a good reason for that, so you can throw out those two teams. Boston/New England will split the vote, so I have a feeling that everyone will vote like me and go for the only team left. Unless Sox Nation makes some pact for New Englander only vote for one team. NC Basketball has to wondering how they got left off in favor of Baylor.
Best CoachBill Belichicken, New England Patriots
Pete Carroll, USC Football
Terry Francona, Boston Red Sox
Gregg Popovich
Roy Williams, UNC Men’s Basketball
Who I Voted For: Gregg Popovich
Who Will Win: Gregg Popovich
See Best Team for reasons. Although I think Williams has an outside chance with some pity votes, but he coached college where one coach has won. And surprisingly that was Gary “She’s Awful” Barnett.
Best Championship PerformanceDeion Branch, New England Patriots
Matt Leinart, USC Football
Sean May, UNC Men’s Basketball
Curt Schilling, Boston Red Sox
Who I Voted For: Sean May
Who Will Win: Curt Schilling
It’s a same that Schilling will win this award. After a year of crusades against performance enhancing drugs in baseball, an award will go to a guy who uses performance enhancing drugs. And if you don’t think what Shilling shot into his ankle before his games were not performance enhancing, you are naïve.
Best Male Olympic Performance
Michael Phelps, Swimming
Cael Sanderson, Wrestling
Jeremy Wariner, Tack & Field
Who I Voted For: Michael Phelps
Who Will Win: Michael Phelps
Phelps was the golden boy (pun intended) of the Olympics so he will win, and he should because of his record performance.
Best Female Olympic Performance
Natalie Coughlin, Swimming
Carly Patterson, Gymnastics
Team USA Softball
Who I Voted For: Natalie Coughlin
Who Will Win: Team USA Softball
It seems a little unfair to have a whole team in competition, but anyways. And didn’t Patterson choke in the team competition to cost the US the gold?
Best Play
Matt Brown, Wichita State Baseball
Chuck Caruthers
Blake Hoffarber
Tiger Woods at the Masters
Who I Voted For: Blake Hoffarber
Who Will Win: Tiger Woods
Blake, if you remember, is the kid from Minnesota who forced overtime his state championship game by hitting a three-pointer while lying on his back. Sadly, Woods will win by name recognition alone.
Best Upset
Bucknell Men’s Basketball (vs. Kansas)
Giacomo (vs. the field)
Puerto Rico Men’s Basketball (vs. Team USA)
Vermont Men’s Basketball (vs. Syracuse)
Who I Voted For: Bucknell Men’s Basketball
Who Will Win: Puerto Rico Men’s Basketball
Giacomo is eliminated because he’s not human. Many people had Vermont going deep into the bracket. Puerto Rico was an upset, but no one was that surprised, but on the other hand, Bucknell destroys many, including me, people’s brackets.
Best Comeback
Kayla Burt, Washington Basketball (Suffered Cardiac Arrest)
Mark Fields, Carolina Panthers (Cancer)
Rulon Gardner, Wrestling (Amputated Toes)
Jordon Sigalet, Bowling Green Hockey (Multiple Sclerosis)
Who I Voted For: Mark Fields
Who Will Win: Rulon Gardner
This is the hardest category as all are worthy of an award, but I have to say cancer is a hard thing to comeback from after all the radiation treatments.
Best Breakthrough
Danica Patrick, IRL
Ben Roethlisburger, Pittsburg Steelers
Maria Sharapova, Tennis
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat
Who I Voted For: Maria Sharapova
Who Will Win: Dwyane Wade
Wow, Danica can turn left 1000 time (sarcasm). And like Wade and Big Ben, didn’t win anything last year. I’ll take a winner.
Best Record Breaking Performance
New England Patriots (21 straight wins)
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts (49 TD’s)
Pat Summitt, Tennessee Woman’s Basketball (882 career wins)
Ichiro Suzuki (262 hits)
Who I Voted For: Ichiro Suzuki
Who Will Win: Peyton Manning
Summitt gets thrown out for caching Women’s Basketball, NE didn’t do it in a single season, and Manning’s will be broken soon with the new rules in place. So Ichiro should win by default.
Best Sports Movie
I abstained from this category as the best sports movie, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was sadly overlooked.
Under Armour Undeniable Performance Award
Braylon Edwards
Misty May and Kerry Walsh
Terrell Owens
David Pollack
Who I Voted For: Misty May and Kerry Walsh
Who Will Win: Terrell Owens
I have no idea what this award is for, so I just went with the gold metal winners. Of course, this award make about as much sense as:
GMC Professional Grade Play Award
Lance Armstrong, Cycling
Curtis Martin, New York Jets
Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
Pat Summitt, Tennessee Basketball
Who I Voted For: Lance Armstrong
Who Will Win: Lance Armstrong
Umm, I’ve ran out of something deep to say so I’ll just stop there with the predictions.
On a side note, I want to give a congratulations to my boy Craig Biggio who broke the record for most hit by a pitch in a career. To show just how big those hits are, Biggio scored on a third of his record breaking HBP’s. So I already know who I’ll be voting for next year’s Best Record Breaking Performance for the ESPY’s.
And that is what you will get with the debut major label album by Esthero. She definitely isn’t like Britney or Ashanti, two artist who she takes potshots in the opening track off of Wikked Lil’ Grrrls. MTV and the radio, and their repetitiveness, are also a major target in the first track We R in Need of a MusicalReVoLuTion. But after the brass opening track, Esthero mellows out for most of the rest of the album.
Esthero’s strong suit is that she can switch and mix up genres better than any one out there today. Most of her music has an old-time feel with the infusion of jazz and soul yet some songs do have modern hip-hop and dance grooves. This is most evident in the title track of the album that has a ragtime feel to it. And the music is provided mostly by musicians, not a drum loop played over and over again. And many different instruments are utilized throughout the album. The bouncy Everyday is a Holiday (With You) sound like a Chicago song with the horns section. Well that’s if Chicago had a female lead singer.
There a few high profile guest spots on the album with Sean Lennon Everyday is a Holiday (With You) and Andre' 3000 on Junglebook and Cee-Lo Green helps out on Gone. Cee-Lo does stick out like a sore thumb on an otherwise great track, and it would had been better if he had been left off the song.
Song to Download - Wikked Lil’ Grrrls
Wikked Lil’ Grrrls gets a ![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
In yet another mind numbing decision for the Cavs this offseason, the team brought back one of their biggest bust of all time, Danny Fairy. So now the Cavs now have a novice general manager and a novice head coach. I can’t imagine they will do any better than the Paxson/Silas duo. I have this theory that the owner, Dan Gilbert, has a master plan where he runs the team in the ground for so long that they bring back the Major League movie franchise but instead focus on Cleveland basketball team. Then Gilbert will make crazy money off the box office revenue. . Seriously, with Usher as a minority owner, that script writes itself.
Although I guess Fairy does know a lot about how having one stiff taking too much of the salary cap as he hurt they Cavs with his cap hit during the early nineties. I’m say Fairy was the reason I jumped ship from the Cavs at the time to start rooting for the Supersonic (you know, back when they were Super), but I was a big Ron Harper fan in my youth. And still am as I still have a Cavs poster circa 1988 with him, “Hot Rod” Williams, Larry Nance, and Mark Price. Ironically, well not really that ironic, this was around the last time the Cavs were competitive. Fairy was even asked if he would have made that trade with him and Harper. Fairy just laughed and said, “No comment.”
But at least the Cleveland teams are consistent in they fleece the championship teams. So whoever is the bench coach for the World Series champs this year, be prepared to get a season pass to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because you just may be the new skipper for the Indians next season.
Bye the way, the title is a Welcome Back Kotter reference. Granted I was being a little more cynical than John Sebastian.
So what would happen if you replaced the hero of a zombie movie with a bubbling slacker? Well if you are British, you get Shaun of the Dead. The movie starts out following Shaun around his mundane life. He’s still working at a computer store. He still sits in front of the TV flipping channels with his buddy Ed, who is a bigger loser than Shaun is. But his world comes crashing down when his girlfriend dumps him. Oh and the whole city is being turned into zombies, not that Shaun or Ed even notice. That’s until Ed notices a weird girl hanging out in their garden. This gives Shaun the idea on how to get his girlfriend back, sweep her off her feet and take her to safety. But Shaun and Ed are no Will Smith and Bruce Willis so hilarity ensues.
The major problem with the movie is that their too many spots in the movie where the scenes are not funny or scary. With a movie that mixes humor with gore, there should be a least one going on at all time. Another problem with the movie is that there is some things that are lost in the translation as it is a British film. While I was watching it, I wondered out load, “Why would Shaun have a paddle in his shed and why would he grab that?” Someone then pointed out that it was a cricket bat. And there were a few places where the British slang just went over of my head.
The DVD extras include the usual trailer, documentaries (extremely boring), deleted and extended scenes (good choice taking these out), and blooper reel. One very inventive feature was the inclusion of comics that plugs so holes in the story. No if only every movie did this. Also, during the film, Shaun and Ed flip through the TV pretty quickly, so in the extra they show extended versions of what they flipped past including a interview with Coldplay who lost some of their members to the zombies and what looks to be the British version of Jerry Springer.
With everything that had be popular oversees, I predicted we will get an Americanized version of Shaun of the Dead (spelled Shawn instead) within five years with Stifler as Shawn, Jack Black as Ed, Kate Bosworth as Liz, the nerdy dude from The O.C. as David, some token hot chick as Dianne, and Burt Reynolds as Phillip. And in hopes to rejuvenate his career, Michael Jackson will don the Thriller makeup one more time to be the head zombie that leads the other zombie in a zombie dance. Just make sure Shawn grabs a baseball bat out of the shed.
Shaun of the Dead gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
Here is a list of the songs I'm listening to right now that fit on a single CD: 1. American Baby Intro – Dave Matthews Band
2. American Baby – Dave Matthews Band
3. Speed of Sound – Coldplay
4. Ashes – Embrace (Even though this is the best song from their album, you may want to check out the song Gravity which is free on iTunes this week.)
5. Since You Been Gone (Jason Nevins Remix) – Kelly Clarkson (I have already chronicled my love of this song a few times – I’m Soooooooooooooooooooo Moving On.)
6. Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money) – Pet Shop Boys (The theme to my favorite new show of the summer, Beauty and the Geek. Stayed tune for a full review of the show coming soon.)
7. One Word – Kelly Osborne (I never though I’d like a song from her, but she did make a smart move going away from rock and into techno where it can hide poor singing ability. Ashlee Simpson, take note.)
8. Till I Get to You – Nikka Costa
9. 1 Thing (Remix) – Amerie & Jay-Z
10. Diamonds (From Sierra Leone) – Kanye West (A full review of this song and the accompanying video should be up in the next few days.)
11. Dreams – The Game (I don’t care too much for the Game, but the Kanye West production makes up for the lackluster rhyme skill.)
12. The Corner – Common, Kanye West, & Last Poets (The best rapper than no one listens to gets a little help from the best producer of the moment.)
13. You’re Gonna Luv Me – Da Backwudz (This song really sounds like it was produced by West with the sped up chorus.)
14. (Expletive deleted) Ain’t (expletive deleted) – Dr. Dre & Snoop Doggy Dogg (My love of the Ben Fold version made me dust off my Dre album just to hear the original.)
15. (Expletive deleted) Ain’t (expletive deleted) – Ben Folds
16. The Right Time – Joss Stone (yes this is the one from the Gap commercial. Get it for yourself, it free from the gap link. Or if you like paying, click the other link.)
17. Chariot (Stripped) – Gavin DeGraw
18. Breathe (2 AM) (Live - Hotel Café) – Anne Nalick
Found this over on Moxiegrrrl's website and can’t wait to get my hands on it. Although I can’t seem to find it for pre-order over at the Microsoft Store.
- I have tried to avoid commenting or even watching/reading about the Michael Jackson trial because I find no humor in a child molestation trail. Well that was until Triumph the Insult Comic Dog went to the trial. Check it out for yourself.
- I received my latest Rolling Stone magazine yesterday. Well the problem is actually I didn’t, what I did receive was the cover, and just the cover, in a plastic bag with a note from the United States Postal Service for damaging my mail. Umm, you didn’t damage my mail; you didn’t send me my mail. Damage would be ripping a page (which they have done before), you didn’t sent and entire issue. And to make things worse, they lost a double issue. So if anyone wants the Rolling Stone with Jessica Alba on the cover, shout me a holla dogg.
- Today is a sad day here on the 9th Green as the pin has been lowered at half mast as one of my favorite whipping boys has reportedly decided to retire. Yes I’m referring to the great white hope from BYU, Shawn Bradley. Bradley must hold the record for appearing on the most number of posters in NBA history and he did it without ever being the focus of the poster. In honor of Bradley’s retirement, I must break out NBA Jam Extreme one more time for a classic Big Head Bradley vs. Big Head Muresan one more time.
- Weird Search(es) of the week:
rachael mcgavin from the notebook (Google)
hat does ryan gosling think about rachel mcadams kiss? (Google)
When did I become the authority on all things The Notebook? And these are just the tip of the iceberg as I picked out the most interesting ones, and no, I didn’t copy them wrong, that’s the searchers’ mistakes. Sadly, putting these her will most like only increase The Notebook volume to the 9th Green.
Last night, the American Film Institute ran down the top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time. No, I didn’t watch it because I found it easier to take five minutes to read the list (check it out here) rather than watch the three hour broadcast, not to mention the premier of Rescue Me was on. Granted, had AFI brought in the I Love the 80’s commentators, then maybe I’d watch it. Beside the lame commentary, the biggest problem is whenever I see an AFI list, I immediately have to slap the phrase “According to Old People” at the end. So this was the Top 100 Movie Quotes According to Old People. They even said this list was judged by 1,500 film artists, critics and historians. Historians? OK if they were creating a list of the greatest Pharaoh, than yeah, bring in some historians, but not for films. So what we get is a list full of movies even older than my parents. I think there were a few that were even older than my grandparents.
So since the list was made up by people who were born between the two World Wars, there were many good quotes that were left off the list, here are a few omissions:
Where all the white women at? Or basically anything from Mel Brooks repertoire.
I sneeze in your general direction. Or anything involving Monty Python.
The price is wrong (Bob). Or anything that has come out of Adam Sandler’s mouth.
Honey, you got a whole lot uglier. Or anything involving Bruce Campbell.
Indiana was the dog’s name. Or anything from the greatest trilogy ever.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
And those are just the ones that are coming off the top of my head. I’m sure if I thought about it more, I could come up with my own 100. But the biggest omissions was that they put, “May the force be with you” at number eight yet, “Luke (dramatic pause) I am your father” was no where to be found. The father quote could easily top the best quote list. Seriously, I really hate old people. Next time you do a list, please send me ballot so the average age can drop a little bit.
Another absurd list that graced my TV recently was the top 100 Child Stars list on VH1. At the bottom of the list there was Christina Ricci at 97. She was the go to kids of the 90’s and was in such kids movies as the Addams Family movies and Casper the Friendly Ghost. But the biggest “huh” moment was they actually had Gary Colman at number one. Just because he has look like a child the longest doesn’t make him the greatest child star ever. If you look at 2-5 you have Macaulay Culkin, the Olsen Twins, Jodie Foster, Drew Barrymore all of who should have been higher than Colman. But come to think of it, this from the same people who named Oprah as the number one Pop Icon in American history, so that just taints any list they ever make. Well until they let me cast a ballot. (Note to VH1 – call me.)
It looks as if the NBA will be avoiding a lockout next season as if it was even a possibility as David Stern has more power in the league than Castro has in Cuba. The changes made in the Collective Bargaining Agreement will help make the game better but not by much as there was very little change at all. First, the maximum number of years a free agent can sign for was reduced from seven to six. Long guaranteed contracts have long been a curse in the NBA as once players sign that first contract; they just go out and play at half speed until they are up for another contract. Let’s call this the Shawn Kemp Rule. Another change is now, veterans are tested four times a year for enhancement and recreational drugs. Sorry Damon Stoudamire (and reportedly 70% of the league).
But f course the big news is the raising of the age limit to 19 (or wait one year after graduating high school for American players). This is something I’ve been whining about ever since I stopped watching basketball on a regular occasion about five years ago. That is when the players started to forget how to play and concentrated more on how to make a good poster pose (*cough Vince Carter cough*). This could all be traced back to a lack of fundamentals that are not being taught by NBA coaches who expect that their players already know them.
One pro-high schoolers argument that bugs me is the “Look at KG, Kobe, Jermaine O’Neal” argument. If we take a trip in the Scooter Time machine at each of the player’s first couple years – when we get there, we will see all of them as bench warmers and waterboys, with emphasis on boys. None of them contributed anything until garbage time and O’Neal did do anything until he jumped to Indiana. Of course then come the Amare and LeBron mentions. Yes, they both had monster rookie years, but in a stars’ league, where were they come playoff time? Watching on TV. Amare need a MVP to get into the playoffs and LeBron is still watching on TV. In fact how many of the high schoolsers have contributed to a championship team? Kobe, the white girl slayer, is the only one that I can think of, and we all know that Shaq was the reason they got the rings.
So hopefully these minor changes do improve the game next year. But the only reason anyone will be watching the NBA at all next year will be because it will mark the return of a star off his one year sabbatical. No, not Phil Jackson, I mean the Malice at the Palace himself, Ron Artest. He is now the new Mike Tyson, you never know when he will snap, charge into the stand and bite some one’s ear off. NBA – I love this game. And hopefully Jim Grey will be there when Artest snaps too because there nothing funnier than Grey’s face last year after the riot happened. I have never seen a grown man that scared before. Maybe next time he will start sobbing.
In more NBA news, Andrew Bogut brought an actual paper résumé to his workout for the Bucks the other day. I hears the Bucks were leaning towards taking Marvin Williams with the number one pick in the draft until they saw Bogut’s impeccable work he put in a Bob’s Big Boy in high school.
In other sports news, the Chicago Black Hawks (to refresh your memory, it’s an NHL team), just fired their coach. This beggs the question, what is worse right now, being fired from the NHL, or still having a job with the NHL?
Oh, and one more NBA note, supposedly there is a finals game on tonight. Isn’t July yet?
I was recently perusing the upcoming releases when I noticed that Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (Unrated Version) is being released on July 12th. Great, now I get to see one of my favorite comedies of recent memory the way is was supposed to be seen. The only problem is that I bought the rated version a couple months ago when it came out. I even got a complementary Dodgeball head band with my purchase. Granted, the headband fits better as a wristband, but anyways. This is a problem that has really irked me for a long time as I buy a DVD only for them to release a better version latter. So now I get to add Dodgeball to the list that already includes Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, Army of Darkness, Spaceballs, and The Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore Collection (Special Edition). So at $10-$25 the cost will start racking up to repurchase each of the items, none of which I’ve done yet.
And as you can tell by the title, I’m not letting my least favorite industry off the hook either. They too have been known to re-release special albums. On my list of CD I already own but would like to get include Weezer’s The Blue Album, Bob Marley’s Legend, and The Clash’s London Calling. Again I have yet the desire to purchase these items again, but unlike the DVD’s, I do have the options to download the songs in questions. But my main problem with that is when I want a whole album, I want it on CD and they do not sell just the special CD anywhere. And the movie and music companies wonder why people steal their products. I can’t speak for the pirates and Robin Hoods of the world but this might have something to do with it.
Typically I try to avoid anything that has to do with Jerry Bruckheimer (how does his last name pass spell check?) at all cost considering I’m not a big fan of watching things blow up surrounded by a lousy plot. Black Hawk Down is one of the few movies I’ve seen that he was attached to that didn’t suck massively. Seriously, how can you possibly mess up a movie about Pearl Harbor? Well by poorly ripping off Titanic I guess. So I broke down this weekend and picked up National Treasure and hoped Bruckheimer actually devised a plot for the movie.
National Treasure follows a family in search of a long lost treasure that was supposedly hidden by our founding founders. Nick Cage plays the son who is still searching for it while Jon Voight is the skeptical dad whose life was ruined by unsuccessfully looking. With the son being the treasure hunter (or as Cage’s Ben Gates says, “Treasure protectors”) and dad being skeptical, parallels are easily drawn with Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. They even throw in a hot German chick just for fun. But the German chick in this movie has been nationalized and has access to the Declaration of Independence. That, of course, comes in handy when Gates needs to steal it.
Gates need to steal the Declaration of Independence because his former partner, evil English dude, plans to steal it to use it to find the treasure for his own personal collection. Rounding out the cast is Gates’ sidekick, Riley (think Short Round from Temple of Doom but older and less Asian), and Harvey Keitel in a rare good guy turn as the FBI agent who is looking for Gates.
The plot is surprisingly decent. They is a good balance between historically accuracy and aspects that were made up to go with the storyline. You can really tell that some did their homework to make sure what could be accurate is and what is made up could be plausible. As for the action, Bruckheimer kept the big explosions to only one, which has to be a record low for him. The biggest disappointment I had with the action was, if you remember back to the trailer (which is missing from the DVD release, I hate when that happens), Gates is holding on to the hot German chick and asks her; “Do you trust me?” And she say, “yes” than Gates drops her. Everybody and their mothers were like “Whoa” when they first saw it but when you see it in the context of the film, it is obvious that she really isn’t in any danger.
As for the extras on the DVD, I mentioned earlier that it lack the theatrical trailer yet it had the Verizon commercial that when along with the film for some reason. It also had a nice documentary about present day treasure hunters and another one about the making of the movie. It also had the prerequisite deleted scenes, neither of which were that interesting. It also had an alternate ending, and to honest they went with the better ending in the movie. The cool thing about the extras is they give you clues that will help you unlock some more extra materials.
National Treasure gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
One show that took a significant down fall this year was Everwood. It started out good as a witty show with quirky characters but also relied heavy on the melodrama and dealt with some deep subject matter. But there was something just dragged the third season down most of the year and the reason is easy to figure out, Ephram Brown. Ephram’s whining and cringe got so insufferable this season I found myself flipping the channel every time he came on screen. Hopefully he stays in Europe next year and we, the audience, don’t follow him there.
The saving grace to this season was STA winner for best cast addition, Hannah. She was the shy new girl in school who was taken under the wing of Amy and then turned into the rock that everyone came to talk their problems to by the middle of the season and ended up having the most interesting storyline by the end of the season with her trying to figure if she had Huntington's Disease or decide if she even wants to know. Although her character was somewhat ruined in the finale when Bright professed his love for her. I don’t see that relationship going anywhere.
Also making pit stops in Everwood were the originator of the insufferable whining and crying on television, Scott Wolf, continuing the revival of the cast of Party of Five, and the certifiably insane Anne Heche. Heche’s storyline with the disable husband was borderline icky at time, granted Heche’s personal life might had added to the ick factor. On the other hand Wolf’s character was relatively bland and show very little as an actor until the last episode when it was hinted he had a bad temper at times. We also, once again, got to hear the voice of Ephram's dead mother who sounded a lot like Mary Alice, the dead mother on Desperate Housewives. Could there be anything worse than being typecast as a dead mom?
Looking forward to next year, I predict we will see more of Jake’s (Wolf) temper (please, oh please let him have a drinking problem). This will lead Nina into the arms of Andy. Sarah and Bright’s relationship will end horribly. Rose’s condition will be the focus of next season as the Abbott family will have to deal with her recovery which I predict will not go smoothly. And once Rose gets better, there will be some one else (Irv?) who will need saving by Dr. Brown. And if we are lucky, there will be no sign of Ephram.
Everwood 3.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
So as somewhat a nerd, I do find myself required to watch Smallville, the WB-ification (i.e. hot, moody teenagers) of the greatest superhero ever written, even though I can’t say I actually own any comic books (aside from a few Beavis and Butthead one I picked up in my formative years). I did enjoy the Christopher Reeves movies as a kid although I passed on the Dean Cain version as it seemed more like a chick flick but on TV. And nothing bothered me more than the idea of a whipped Superman. Then four years ago came Smallville or Superman – The High School Years. An interesting concept considering Lex Luther was not Clark Kent archenemies yet, nor had Kent don the tights yet. The episode drew a lot on the Buffy monster of the week philosophy but with a kryptonite twist.
We left off the third season with Lex being poisoned, Lana leaving for Paris, Chloe being blown up, Pete has skipped town, Lionel was dieing from a bad liver and suddenly bald, and Clark disappeared with some naked hot chick. But of course no one really died and everything was back to normal by the third episode of the current season. Although Pete never came back and was replace instead was replace by Lana’s boyfriend that she met in Paris. And yes, I hated him for that.
The big news of the fourth season was that Lana was promoted from the Token Hot Chick of the show and actually had a decent storyline this year. Sadly this took her out of the running for the title of Hottest Token Hot Chick in the 1st annual Scooter Television Awards. So Lana apparently is the decent of a witch who decided to use Miss Lang to get back at the lineage that burned her at the stake. Luckily evil ancestor is successful and we get the greatest Smallville invention: evil Lana. For anyone who saw Eurotrip, you know how entertaining that can be. Evil Lana, like Clark, Lex, Lionel, Lana’s new boyfriend and his mom, is after three stone that apparently do something.
So with Lana dropping the title of token hot chick and no show is complete without one, so enter Lois Lane. A sassier version that the other LL’s, but then again she is a teenager so I guess it makes sense. She was also a slight twist on the token hot chick in that she could kick my butt, and that only made her hotter. Smallville also brought in some other characters from the Superman lexicon including the Flash and Krypto the dog.
Then by the end of the season, just like at the end of last season, everyone is in peril as another meteor shower has hit Smallville. And it looks like the stones everyone wanted transported Clark to what may become his Fortress of Solitude. Looking forward to next season, I assume it’s safe to assume that everything will be back to normal by the start of the third episode. But when it comes down to it, hopefully we will get to see more of bad Lana.
Smallville 4.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
Puff Daddy must be relieved now that he no longer holds the record for using the worst sample ever when he stole The Police’s Every Breathe You Take for his I’ll Be Missing You song. That title now belongs to Pras, formally know as the other dude in the Fugees, who recently sampled U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For in his obviously titled Haven’t Found. When I first heard the song it started off with the unmistakable guitar riff, but then a weird base line kicks in and then a women’s voice starts singing that surely isn’t Bono. The lyrics are also chaotic in that Pras and the chick trade verses where Pras’ are more political while the chick sings about relationship. Seriously, pick a subject and stick to it. I you don’t want to waste your money, you can see the video of free here.
In other horrible music news, I would like to let all the girls out there know, despite recent songs that say otherwise, if a few times you’ve been around that track, you are, by definition, a Hollaback Girl.
