Don't Keep Pacing, Make These Dudes Blow Their Pistons

It looks as if the NBA will be avoiding a lockout next season as if it was even a possibility as David Stern has more power in the league than Castro has in Cuba. The changes made in the Collective Bargaining Agreement will help make the game better but not by much as there was very little change at all. First, the maximum number of years a free agent can sign for was reduced from seven to six. Long guaranteed contracts have long been a curse in the NBA as once players sign that first contract; they just go out and play at half speed until they are up for another contract. Let’s call this the Shawn Kemp Rule. Another change is now, veterans are tested four times a year for enhancement and recreational drugs. Sorry Damon Stoudamire (and reportedly 70% of the league).

But f course the big news is the raising of the age limit to 19 (or wait one year after graduating high school for American players). This is something I’ve been whining about ever since I stopped watching basketball on a regular occasion about five years ago. That is when the players started to forget how to play and concentrated more on how to make a good poster pose (*cough Vince Carter cough*). This could all be traced back to a lack of fundamentals that are not being taught by NBA coaches who expect that their players already know them.

One pro-high schoolers argument that bugs me is the “Look at KG, Kobe, Jermaine O’Neal” argument. If we take a trip in the Scooter Time machine at each of the player’s first couple years – when we get there, we will see all of them as bench warmers and waterboys, with emphasis on boys. None of them contributed anything until garbage time and O’Neal did do anything until he jumped to Indiana. Of course then come the Amare and LeBron mentions. Yes, they both had monster rookie years, but in a stars’ league, where were they come playoff time? Watching on TV. Amare need a MVP to get into the playoffs and LeBron is still watching on TV. In fact how many of the high schoolsers have contributed to a championship team? Kobe, the white girl slayer, is the only one that I can think of, and we all know that Shaq was the reason they got the rings.

So hopefully these minor changes do improve the game next year. But the only reason anyone will be watching the NBA at all next year will be because it will mark the return of a star off his one year sabbatical. No, not Phil Jackson, I mean the Malice at the Palace himself, Ron Artest. He is now the new Mike Tyson, you never know when he will snap, charge into the stand and bite some one’s ear off. NBA – I love this game. And hopefully Jim Grey will be there when Artest snaps too because there nothing funnier than Grey’s face last year after the riot happened. I have never seen a grown man that scared before. Maybe next time he will start sobbing.

In more NBA news, Andrew Bogut brought an actual paper résumé to his workout for the Bucks the other day. I hears the Bucks were leaning towards taking Marvin Williams with the number one pick in the draft until they saw Bogut’s impeccable work he put in a Bob’s Big Boy in high school.

In other sports news, the Chicago Black Hawks (to refresh your memory, it’s an NHL team), just fired their coach. This beggs the question, what is worse right now, being fired from the NHL, or still having a job with the NHL?

Oh, and one more NBA note, supposedly there is a finals game on tonight. Isn’t July yet?