The Price Is Wrong Bob

Last night, the American Film Institute ran down the top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time. No, I didn’t watch it because I found it easier to take five minutes to read the list (check it out here) rather than watch the three hour broadcast, not to mention the premier of Rescue Me was on. Granted, had AFI brought in the I Love the 80’s commentators, then maybe I’d watch it. Beside the lame commentary, the biggest problem is whenever I see an AFI list, I immediately have to slap the phrase “According to Old People” at the end. So this was the Top 100 Movie Quotes According to Old People. They even said this list was judged by 1,500 film artists, critics and historians. Historians? OK if they were creating a list of the greatest Pharaoh, than yeah, bring in some historians, but not for films. So what we get is a list full of movies even older than my parents. I think there were a few that were even older than my grandparents.

So since the list was made up by people who were born between the two World Wars, there were many good quotes that were left off the list, here are a few omissions:

Where all the white women at? Or basically anything from Mel Brooks repertoire.

I sneeze in your general direction. Or anything involving Monty Python.

The price is wrong (Bob). Or anything that has come out of Adam Sandler’s mouth.

Honey, you got a whole lot uglier. Or anything involving Bruce Campbell.

Indiana was the dog’s name. Or anything from the greatest trilogy ever.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.


And those are just the ones that are coming off the top of my head. I’m sure if I thought about it more, I could come up with my own 100. But the biggest omissions was that they put, “May the force be with you” at number eight yet, “Luke (dramatic pause) I am your father” was no where to be found. The father quote could easily top the best quote list. Seriously, I really hate old people. Next time you do a list, please send me ballot so the average age can drop a little bit.

Another absurd list that graced my TV recently was the top 100 Child Stars list on VH1. At the bottom of the list there was Christina Ricci at 97. She was the go to kids of the 90’s and was in such kids movies as the Addams Family movies and Casper the Friendly Ghost. But the biggest “huh” moment was they actually had Gary Colman at number one. Just because he has look like a child the longest doesn’t make him the greatest child star ever. If you look at 2-5 you have Macaulay Culkin, the Olsen Twins, Jodie Foster, Drew Barrymore all of who should have been higher than Colman. But come to think of it, this from the same people who named Oprah as the number one Pop Icon in American history, so that just taints any list they ever make. Well until they let me cast a ballot. (Note to VH1 – call me.)