Before last season was over, there were rumors floating around the internets that this season of Survivor would be returnees vs. loved ones and with a name like Blood vs. Water, it made sense. So when the cast of Survivor: Blood vs. Water was finally unveiled there was little surprise (except no Rob Cesternino or RC who were on the spoiler list) to the people who saw the spoilers way back in May. It was also confirmed that the theme involves returning players taking on family members (sure half the pairs are not actually related by blood, but hey, it is reality TV, they take their fair share of liberties).
Headlining the returning players is the most entertaining former Survivor ever Kat from One World. But with the exception of Kat, Survivor is really doing its best to make this the worst season of the show ever (which is a tall feat after the Boston Rob debacle that was Redemption Island), instead of bringing in Kat’s awesome cousin, her “Blood” is her boyfriend who apparently won some other crappy reality show. Then most of the other returning players range from who would want to see them ever again to just who? Most notably on the former is gay Republican racist Colton also from One World (along with his fiancé) and the latter is Laura from Samoa who brought her daughter (who is quite attractive so that kind of makes sense as to why bring her back for this). They also brought back two of their most boring winners ever in Tina from Australia (and her daughter) and Aras from Panama: Exile Island (and his brother with an even more random name Vytas). What, was the porn star and the wife who beat him up not available to participate this season?
The most disappointing returnee after Colton has to be yet another One World cast member Monica Culpepper who was listed as “wife of NFL player” during her season, so initially I was excited to see her and her husband Dante on the show. Except she is not married to former Vikings quarterback Dante Culpepper, she is married to some dude named Brand Culpepper. He did start eighty-three games at defensive end in the league back in the nineties, but I still feel misled. Also returning to tie Boston Rob in all time appearances is Rupert Boneham (with his wife), while Tyson Apostol (with his girlfriend) and Candice Cody (nee Woodcock, and her husband) are both back for number three. The other former player is Gervase back for the first time since the very first season thirteen years ago. He will be playing alongside his niece.
But as unimpressive as most of the returnees are, the show is bringing back one thing that is actually worse than bringing back Colton: Redemption Island. And the new Redemption Island rules are so complicated. So two people were originally sent right off the bat (shockingly Colton did not get one vote), but then their loved ones can decide to replace them at Redemption Island if voted off their tribe. So Candice gets voted off the returning tribe while Rupert’s wife also got the boot but Rupert took her place. Wow, Candice for Rupert’s wife: that is a really bad trade off for the returning tribe.
And even with Rupert, the returning tribe was outgunned, the other tribe has a former NFL player, a winner of another reality show, all the girls are young and agile, and they got rid of their one weak link early. All the returners have are Tyson, the boring Aras, Kat, an aging Gervase, and they got stuck with Rupert’s wife. But the returners showed why they are veterans crushing their loved ones at the puzzle. Poor Marissa, her uncle clowning everyone after his win sent her packing to Redemption.
As much as I hated the new (and old) twists, it does set up some intrigue of who are willing to sell out their loved ones, and who will fall on the sword. Despite winning, the returners have two large pieces of dead weight in Rupert’s wife and Colton who is poised to sabotage his tribe from the inside. As for a prediction, I am going to go with my girl Kat.
Survivor: Blood vs. Water airs Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.
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