First Impressions: Survivor: Nicaragua

It is weird to think how much the world has changed in the short amount of time I have inhabited this planet. Thanks to the fall of the Berlin War, Europe looks completely different then when I entered grade school. Nicaragua was a war zone growing up and now they are hosting game shows in the country and Sandinistas and Contras are just album names by The Clash and Vampire Weekend (though the later admits they named it after the NES game).

Nicaragua thankfully is the first Russell Hantz free installment of Survivor in over a year. Though with just the first episode under our belt, all the contestants this year seem a little too nice, in fact is was a pretty pedestrian start to the season after all the bombast of the previous All-Star season. Even without any All-Stars, that doesn’t mean we didn’t’ get a familiar face as former Dallas Cowboy coach and current Fox commentator Jimmie Johnson who promptly started puking during his first night.

We do get two new twists this season. As mentioned previous, this year’s tribes are divided by age, over forties in one tribe and under thirty in another. This probably means that they will switch them up within a month. I kind of wished they would have gone four tribes, twenties, thirties, forties and fifties. The other new twist may be the worst idea the show has had. The Medallion of Power allows the owner gets a head start in challenges and if they choose to use the medallion it will then go to the other tribe. Lame.

The only other contestant of note besides Johnson is the second amputee in the history of Survivor, and first female to walk around the island in a prosthetic. Though I have been starring at the photo of Kelly Bruno (at right, in the pants) and I swear she has two feet there. Did Survivor really Photoshop toes on her for her individual promotion shot but not in the cast photo above? It is interesting the dichotomy between the two tribes where Johnson said they should bring him to the final because no jury would award him a million dollars where the younger tribe talk about how they want to get Bruno out soon because she would be a lock to win Survivor if she made it to the end. Alright it is time to name the hottest hot chick on the beach and who I predict to win.

Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Take a Shower in a Month: Alina Wilson

Winner: Kent State’s own Jill Behm

Survivor: Nicaragua airs Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream episodes on CBS.com. You can also download Survivor on iTunes.