First Impressions: America’s Next Top Model Cycle 7

The start of the The CW has bit a little auspicious. First the very first show the network ever airs is a repeat of a 7th Heaven episode. Then in its first two days on the air, it shows the same launch special twice. Then for its very first original program it picks of all thing America’s Next Top Model. Granted does anyone know what was the first show NBC ever aired, or WB for that matter? And my sources are correct I don’t believe the next new episode (or should I say fresh, is the CW doing that too?) won’t air until next week.

As for that first original programming for the CW, I have to admit that I watched the show more for the band new way to commercials that was hyped at the network launch. And to much to my surprise, when the first commercial break came they showed… commercials. Um, okay. Apparently the “pods” they were referring to will only be happening once per episode and in-between the shows. When the pods, apparently referred to as CWhat’s as in “C-What’s” not “CW-hat’s” (I think), they were basically two minute infomercials for Herbal Essences hosted by Rachel Perry of VH1 fame. There was also an appearance by some dude named Perez Hilton who sadly admits that he named himself after Paris Hilton (dudes who name themselves after Adam Sandler movies are much cool). But I have to admit, even though the whole fashion week theme didn’t really interest me, the CWhat’s were much more entertaining than your standard thirty second ads. I just hope that Tuesday Girls Night doesn’t have tampon themed CWhat’s.

As for the show in-between the CWhat’s, it was your standard first episode of a reality show including a way too long thirty minute elimination sequence. But first was they had to select the final thirteen. I was going to complain how they already announced the finalist thus ruining the first hour but to be honest, except for the twins, none of the other finalist stood out from the press release.

The big news from the first hour was the first photo shoot would be a nude one. This didn’t really sit well with the resident conservative, a very Lilly Kane looking Ginger (I always thought Mary Ann was the prude), who didn’t want to compromise her morals for a television show. And I would have to agree with her because with a camera on the set, you never know where an unedited version would come out whether leaked to the internet or hyped for a future DVD. Plus as a wise man once said, “We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time.” Then Mr. Jay went short of saying she would get the ax for refusing to strip. And here’s my problem, liberals attack conservatives all the time for not being accepting of other people, but much like Dani from last cycle, they rip apart the conservatives for their values, and cut them from the show what seems to be solely on their moral. How accepting. Okay, off my soap box.

Once the actual show starts, they have what Mr. Jay calls the most controversial photo shoot ever. It only turned out to be model stereotypes. Although some were not actual stereotypes as Naomi Campbell did hit her assistant with her cell phone, and another one is on the record saying that she wouldn’t get out of bed unless she was getting paid five digits. But I’m just nitpicking. And did anyone else find the irony in Mr. Jay ripping someone for bad acting after Tyra Bank’s little “tirade.” Her diva mode made her fake-fainting from last season look like something out of Citizen Kane. In the end some random chick got cut. Here are some predictions for this season:

Winner: A.J.
Backup Choice: Anchal
Next to Go: The Ugly Twin
Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex With: CariDee

Verdict: Hopefully the makeovers will be dramatic because none of the girls are all that attractive. I may catch the repeats on Sundays not that there is much on Wednesdays at 8:00 although I’ll be checking out Jericho on Innertube later because no one bothered to send me a sneak peek of the show (not that I’m bitter or anything).