Best of the Week: 8/2/14

Quote of the Week: He does other things for me: he takes me seriously. (Virginia Johnson, Masters of Sex)

Song of the Week: What Child Is This – The Rosewood High School Choir (Pretty Little Liars)

Big News of the Week: Your Next Peter Pan Is…: When NBC announced the casting of Christopher Walken as the first addition to their Peter Pan musical instead of the titular character, it singled to me, do not get excited to have a big name star put on the green leotard (granted I did get excited thinking that a capable though not big draw Brie Larson would have a chance). NBC finally filled the role and the announcement was a bit underwhelming. The role went to Allison Williams who stars on Girls, but that pretty much makes up her whole IDMB page (it should also be mentioned she is the spawn of NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams who gave a tongue in check announcement on the Nightly News saying, “family members confirm she has been rehearsing for this role since the age of three” which was accompanying the younger Williams in costume at the age). Again, not that this matters because unless she bombs worse than Carrie Underwood, most people will be talking about Christopher Walken performance the next day anyway. There is a reason why his name was announced first, he will be the star and the face of the show. Since NBC did not take my suggestion for Peter Pan or Captain Hook (I would have tried for Jack Black for the latter), maybe they will take my advice and cast Ramona Flowers as Tigerlily.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“It’s Not For Everyone” The Strain, Sunday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Keys - Hooray for Earth (Amazon Digital Music)

New Album Release of the Week: They Want My Soul - Spoon

New DVD Release of the Week: Community: Season 5

Video of the Week: In a story I broke a couple lines ago that Allison Williams will star in the upcoming adaptation of Peter Pan. Her acting resume is not very long, it is basically Girls and a bunch of web stuff, but her musical resume is actually smaller. But Williams did get her role on Girls when producer Judd Apatow saw her singing Nature Boy while being backed by musicians playing A Beautiful Mine (aka the Mad Men theme song) so she apparently has the pipes. There is also a scene from Girls where her character does a hilariously over the top version of Stronger and hilariously over the top is exactly what I look for in my musical theater actors. Really I did not know much about Williams prior to her casting but after watching these two and a half minutes I am one hundred percent all in on Williams as Peter Pan and really in general. Unfortunately, that video is un-embeddable (watch it here) so here is the A Beautiful Mind / Mad Men mash-up, but seriously, click the link to hear her singing stronger too.


Next Week Pick of the Week: L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin: Friday at 9:00 on Showtime: Showtime ® gives viewers a look inside the daily struggles of a dynamic group of Southern lesbians in L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin, a 90-minute documentary executive produced by filmmaker Ilene Chaiken (The L Word®, The Real L Word®) and the award-winning Magical Elves directing and production team of Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz (Top Chef, Katy Perry: Part of Me). The film spotlights the unique challenges of being lesbians in between the “coasts” in the religious, conservative deep South. Directed by Oscar® and Emmy® nominee Lauren Lazin (Tupac: Resurrection), the documentary looks at life outside more progressive metropolitan areas in America today where gay women endure hardships, bigotry, bullying, sexism and racism while trying to live among their predominantly straight neighbors. Featured stories include a newly out-and-proud former pastor banished from her church, but who later regains her self-esteem by launching a program to support her local LGBTQ community; a white mother who would accept her daughter’s black lover, if only she were a man; a couple grappling with both infertility and female-to-male gender transitioning; and a former life-long lesbian struggling to “pray the gay away,” and hoping to do the same for her openly gay son. The documentary is a continuation of Chaiken’s exploration of modern-day lesbian life: her groundbreaking Showtime drama series The L Word ran for six seasons on the network and followed a group of Los Angeles-based friends as they navigated careers, families, friendships, inner-struggles and romantic entanglements.

I Need to Be Myself, Can’t Be No One Else

The early to mid-nineties was a depressing time where there was not a less credible than actually caring. Which is what makes Oasis’s rise so remarkable. They wanted to be the biggest band in the world. They had the attitude of eighties Sunset Strip, riffs from the classic rock era of the sixties, mixes with a dash of the weirdness that alt-rock craze of the nineties. The first song off their debut album Rock ‘n’ Roll Star was a shot across the bow of the shoe gazers of the time. Hard partying, heavy drinking, and massive group infighting was back and for a brief moment, it was glorious. The band became so big, even a single of the brothers Gallagher charted in their native England.

Though the band did not become the global superstars until their second album, Definitely Maybe, this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame, was a great start with a few singles that should have broke the band stateside. There was plenty of cocksure in the rock anthem Supersonic which should have had a crossover with the Shawn Kemp led Seattle basketball team at the time. Second single Live Forever was more melancholy but still managed to rock hard. Though those two track stood out, there was not a skippable song on the album.

Oasis’s love of The Beatles is well documented and the influence is heard the most on Shakemaker which could have fit in their trippy period. And where the band showed they could rock hard (Bring it on Down actually would not have sounded out of place on the eighties Sunset Strip) the album is just as interested when the band slowed down; Digsy's Dinner is a fun jaunt though the British countryside. And while the Beatles influences are so abundant one can argue plagiarism at time, album closer Married with Children sounds like the best ballad the Davies Brothers of The Kinks never wrote.

Stuck between those two slower tracks is one of the great hidden gems of the nineties Slide Away, the most vulnerable the band is on the album but still exudes some English attitude on the track. There was plenty of hype surrounded Oasis when they came out, mostly created by the band itself, and the was finally realized with the release of the second album, most specifically Wonderwall, but you have to wonder if their hubris was also their downfall as went away Stateside as quickly as the conquered (though for those who stopped paying attention to the around the release of Be Here Now I highly recommend checking out Stop Crying Your Heart Out, the closest they got to recreating Wonderwall)but for one deleting moment everyone agreed with the Gallagher Bothers that Oasis, indeed, was the biggest and best band in the world.

Previewing Urban Jungle

We have all heard the urban legends of snakes coming out of toilets, seen on the news bears invading resort towns, and heard horror stories of coyotes eating household pets. All these stories are explored on National Geographic’s new three hour special Urban Jungle premiering this Sunday at 8:00 and will be simulcast o Nat Geo Wild. The event is hosted by big cat tracker Boone Smith who travels to big cities, the suburbs, and remote outposts to see how and why wild animals are invading human civilization.

he first hour of Urban Jungle focuses on major cities, coyotes in Chicago, leopards in Mumbai, bats in Austin, and yes, pythons lurking in the sewers on Bangkok that find their ways up through the toilets. Hour two moves out to the suburbs from the street dogs of Russia, boxing kangaroos on the golf courses of Australia, and of course those pesky raccoons. Be warned there is plenty of footage of wild animals on domestic pet violence in the episode (really on all three, there are wild bird on the prowl of small dogs in New York City). Finally, Boone heads to the outposts where towns pop up where the animals live like the tourist spot in Zimbabwe where people go to see Victoria Falls which just happens to be in the path of centuries old elephant migration path. The animals even take up in places where humans abandoned. It may still not be safe for humans to return to Chernobyl but wolves are enjoying the comforts of the abandoned buildings.

For the past century, humans have been building these sprawling cities to get away from the wildlife, but these metropolises end up enticing animals to leave the wild for a more dangerous area dominated by humans. The main reason aside from comfort (if you were a bear, would you rather hibernate in a cave or a heated basement in the suburbs) is Food. It is repeated multiple times how humans throw out half the food they buy and the wild animals are more than happy to finish off our table scraps and food left in the refrigerator long past the expiration date. So if you do not want Rocket Raccoon and his wild friends going through your garbage, actually eat everything you buy.

Urban Jungle premieres Sunday at 8:00 on National Geographic Channel and Nat Geo Wild.

There’s a Little Bit of Magic, Everyone Has It

Recently Jenny Lewis gave an interview with Grantland but the star of the podcast was not Lewis herself or even the interviewer Andy Greenwald, it was instead Ryan Adams who produced most of her new album The Voyager (you can download it on on iTunes). The interview started off in earnest with Lewis uncomfortably recounting the demise of her band Riley Kilo and her struggles with insomnia (ironically one of the better curse for insomnia may actually be hearing other people talking about insomnia) but the interview really picked up when Lewis started talking about working with Ryan at it Pax Am studio in Los Angeles.

As a long time fan of Adams I know the guy can be eccentric, this is a guy who started off his first solo album with an “argument with David Rawlings concerning Morrisey” and famously stopped a concert and would not continue until a fan who requested Summer Of '69 was removed from the building. In her interview told tales of how Adams refused to listen to playback (nor would let Lewis do the same) and when he told her to scream like John Lennon as he was leaving the studio for the day. This culminated with Adams adamantly telling Lewis to go home and write Wonderwall. The thing is I came away from the interview much more excited for Ryan’s upcoming self titled album coming out next month than the new Lewis album which came out this week.

That is not to say there is nothing worth checking out on The Voyager and it is hard not to see if Adams’ unorthodox recording techniques paid off. At first listen, The Voyager sound more upbeat and less folksy than her two previous solo albums and subsequent listens you can definitely tell the tracks where Adams contributes guitar like at the end of She’s Not Me. Slippery Stone even sounds like it could be an opening riff to an Adams song. It may actually be easier to pick out the non-Adams tracks for instance Just One of the Guys produced by Beck (yes that is him on backing vocals, the most overt indie-pop song which veers into annoyingly catchy with the oo-oo’s punctuated throughout the song. The better pop song may actually be the album opener Head Underwater.

The album closes with the title track which is also the song that came out of the Wonderwall request. It is an acoustic based ballad with strings, but that is as close to Wonderwall as her song gets (Lewis does point out in the interview if she could have written a Wonderwall she already would have done it). Nor does she find a way to scream like Lennon on the song as requested. It is the most different song on the album and actually does a good job wrapping up the album. Now I need to turn my attention for the release of the Ryan Adams album to see if there are any Wonderwalls or John Lennon screams. Okay, thinking about it, that would kin of make it li9ke every Ryan Adams album, one of which actually had a Wonderwall cover.

Song to Download – Head Underwater

The Voyager gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod: LXXXV: Walls (Circus)

Tom Petty released a new album today and like his last couple it is good (granted the best new Tom Petty song out today is probably his contribution to Eric Clapton’s The Breeze: An Appreciation of JJ Cale), but he really has not done anything great for almost two decades. The mid-nineties was Tom Petty’s “weird period” (which was pretty weird because he has always been slightly left of center for classic rock acts) which ended with his album that served as the soundtrack for She’s the One. Maybe these songs got lost because it was a forgettable movie (Ed Burns wrote and directed the well received indie flick The Brothers McMullen and was given a bigger budget for his follow up with big name stars like Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and a soundtrack by Petty but made about as much money as his indie debut; since then Burns is forever the fourth lead in dramas but still occasionally makes indie flicks that you probably have never seen or even heard of). The standout on the soundtrack is Walls, a Phil Spector-ish song deep in layered vocals and a wall of sound (but no Indian influence despite the music video theme). After another straight rock album that was released today that was just okay, maybe Petty should get into another “weird period.”

Walls (Circus) – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I Want My Music Television: 7/28/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


URL Badman – Lily Allen


URL Badman was probably my least favorite song on the new Lily Allen album. As a wise man once said, you never beef down an d Lily going after lowly bloggers should be beneath her at this point. This is way I liked the more grown up Lily on Sheezus. But this may be the best music video with those freaky special effects.


Do You – Spoon


I am always fascinating with one-shot music video and the new Spoon one was looking like it was going to be one of the more boring ones (slow-mo also seems like creating in one shots). Then the Godzilla sized toddlers showed up at the end. Awesome.


Oblivion - Bastille


Who knew Sansa Stark could sing? Okay it is not the best song in the world. Bastille is pulling out the big guns in hopes of not being relegated to one hit wonder bin. I am not sure it will work, should have held out for Arya, but she is probably holding out for Coldplay to be in a brit-pop-rock music video.


Girl in a Country Song – Maddie and Tae


Country radio has never been that intellectually stimulating, but last year it came to a head at just how mind numbingly clichéd at just how the genre got when someone made a video how every hit talked about trucks, dirt roads to river beds at sunset, beer, and of course girls named “girl” in tight blue jeans (see Why Country Music Was Awful in 2013). To give you a sense of just how much Bro Country has taken control of country radio, there has not been a female to top the Billboard Country Airplay Chart by herself since November 2012 when Carrie Underwood did that (female featuring groups like The Band Perry and Lady Antebellum have topped the chart in the interim). Well, it took seven months after that video exposed all the clichés but the Bro Country backlash is finally starting. First in line are newcomers Maddie and Tae taking aim at the biggest country singers like Blake Shelton and Florida Georgia Line, not so subtlety referencing Bro Country’s biggest hits in their Girl in a Country Song. The song and video are fun, but not all together great or probably a game changer. But in its second week it did move up to number 45 on the Country Airplay chart.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 7/27/14

Ray Donovan: So the new FBI guy’s big deep dark secret is that he is in a Bob Segar cover band… awesome. I do have a sinking suspicion his wife may have a few bones in her closet that Ray will be able to find. At least Ray had better luck with the parole officer. It is going to be fun seeing him torment Mickey all season.

The Last Ship: Sure you have to go back and kill the drug kinpin, but at least go back to the ship, unload the monkeys, get some reinforcements, and gun power before you go back. Oh wait, this is a Michael Bay production, it is surprisingly that jut one of the soldiers was not able to take down all the drug lord stooges.
You can download The Last Ship on iTunes.

The Strain: It seemed to take the CDC a little too long to discover that all the “corpses” were no longer at the morgue. Did no one notice all those dead bodies up and leave until the CDC showed up? Oh well. At least we got one really creepy gross out scene with the little girl shooting some sort of sucker out of her mouth to kill(?) her dad Alien style.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I would like to preface this by saying drugs are bad, do not do drugs kiddies, but Daphne taking cocaine was the most entertaining scene in the show’s history. And at least Toby is rebounding well with a new neighbor who is shoehorned into the show as his neighbor and new, in the middle of the school year, teacher at Carlton. And you thought Tank being his new roommate was forced.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: So we finally learn who killed the hot chick and it was… Junior’s uncle? Alrighty. The same uncle who made it seem like he did not recognized his former girlfriend who had not aged a day since he may have killed her too. Alrighty again. Wait does this mean we can flash forward twenty-five years and have the token hot chick resurrected?
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Pretty Little Liars: Okay, so who is this new swim team member exactly? Any new character is instantly suspicious but she got extremely fishier this week. Is she going to just turn into a new Shawnna, someone the show can claim is A only to expose a deeper conspiracy later?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Bridge: I have known that drug traffickers have been using humans as mules since Maria Full of Grace, but I was not ready to learn they are now sticking the drugs up horses to get the product shipped without detection.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 7/26/14

Quote of the Week: I don’t know. You believe that (expletive deleted)? I got ripped by a bunch of taco venders on bikes. (Ray Burton, The Bridge)

Song of the Week: Night Moves – Bob Segar (as sung by Ed Cochran, Ray Donovan)

Big News of the Week: Comic Con ’14: It is nerd Christmas when the meek who have inherited the cinema which is now 90% comic book adaption (and is quickly conquering the small screen numerous adoptions premiering this fall). Except Comic Con is all teases and trailers making it more like Christmas Eve where you can look at your wrapped gifts and shake them, but you do not actually get to unwrap and play with them for another couple months, or years in the case of many of the movies (coming in 2018: The Amazing Spider-Man 3, a sequel to a movie that no one liked a couple months ago!). No news that has come out of the Con has really piqued my interests yet, but still two more days to come.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Bolero” Perception, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Break the Fall – Laura Welsh (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Hypnotic Eye - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

New DVD Release of the Week: Noah

Video of the Week: Last fall ABC’s soapy new drama Betrayal failed miserably. Many people theorized that maybe it would have done better on a premium channel where they could show “the good stuff.” Well we may actually see if that is true when the similarly themed The Affair premieres October on Showtime. Instead of the big city, The Affair takes place in the vacation spot of the Hamptons and though the first trailer focus mainly on the titular deed, it does seem like there is a murder that is tied into the show (again like Betrayal). The big difference between the two shows is that, even though it is not explicitly expressed in the trailer, The Affair “will be told separately from the male and female perspectives – using the distinct memory biases to both misdirect and intrigue.” Oh yeah, and Showtime can show “the good stuff.”


Next Week Pick of the Week: Crossbones, Next Saturday at 8:00 on NBC: For those that watched the NBC mini-series, you will get to see the conclusion a little sooner than expected as the network is going to burn off the final two episodes next Saturday. Personally I found the show hard to get into because the lead on the show not named John Malkovich looked way too much like Kenny Powers to take seriously.

Around the Tubes: 7/25/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Running Wild with Bear Grylls, The Simpsons, MeatEater, PBS Arts Fall Festival, Conan, The Rossevelts: An Intimate History, The Strain, Aporkalypse 2014, FX and TNT renewals, Regal Cinemas, and James Garner.

- Here is a sneak a peek at Running Wild with Bear Grylls, premiering Monday, July 28 at 8/7 on NBC.


- Cowabunga! In celebration of its landmark acquisition of the exclusive cable and authenticated non-linear VOD rights to legendary animated comedy The Simpsons, FXX will launch a record-breaking marathon of the series on August 21, 2014. The marathon will begin August 21, 2014 at 10 AM and will conclude September 1, 2014 at 12 AM, making it the longest-running marathon in television history. For 24 hours a day, over the course of the 12 days, FXX will air 552 episodes of The Simpsons (through Season 25) as well as The Simpsons Movie (airing after episode 400), in chronological order. FXX will also launch “Simpsons World” - the ultimate Simpsons digital experience featuring enriched branded content through SimpsonsWorld.com and handheld/connected devices via FXNOW, the authenticated multi-network on-demand video service supporting FX, FXX and FXM - in October.

- Adventure, exploration and education are a few integral components that fuel the success of the award-winning program, MeatEater with Steven Rinella. Sportsman Channel, the exclusive network home for MeatEater, unveils a Season Four Recap week beginning Monday, July 28 at 7:00. The marathon leads viewers into the premiere of Season Five of MeatEater on Thursday, July 31 at 8:00.

- Entering its fourth season, the PBS Arts Fall Festival has become a Friday night fall tradition, reaching more than 33 million viewers since its conception in 2011, and underscoring PBS’ ongoing commitment to giving audiences a front-row seat and a backstage pass to the best of the arts on-air and online. The series will be hosted by Emmy and Tony Award-winning actress and accomplished singer Kristin Chenoweth beginning Friday, September 26, 2014 at 9:00(check local listings).

- TBS's late-night show Conan will welcome the cast of the Emmy®-nominated Netflix original comedy series Orange Is The New Black on Monday, Aug. 4, for their first ever late-night appearance as a group. Emmy®-nominated actresses Taylor Schilling, Laverne Cox, Uzo Aduba, Kate Mulgrew, Natasha Lyonne and series co-star Jason Biggs will all join host Conan O'Brien from Stage 15 at Warner Bros.

- Ken Burns’s 14-hour epic of an American political dynasty, The Rossevelts: An Intimate History, will premiere Sunday, September 14th from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. (ET) and run for seven consecutive nights at the same time. In addition, it will be repeated from 10:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. each night and will have a weekend, daytime marathon September 20th and 21st. Beginning on Monday, September 15th, the entire 14 hours will be available online to stream through PBS stations’ video sites, pbs.org/theroosevelts, and PBS station branded digital platforms, including ROKU, Apple TV and Xbox, and will be available for two weeks, through September 29th.

- FX’s newest hit series, The Strain, from acclaimed director Guillermo del Toro and executive producer Carlton Cuse, has a warning for the general public: They may be infected with The Strain. The Strain Transformation app is available as a free download in the iTunes and Google Play stores. Fans can discover what will happen when an ancient parasitic plague enters their system and transforms them into a monstrous vampire. From examination to diagnosis, they’ll see their transformation in seconds. The app enables the infected to quickly share photos of their results on Facebook and Twitter to inform and warn their friends of the spreading infection. It offers exclusive video and access to The Strain social media, including the official Strain Facebook and Twitter pages.

- When Brian “Pigman” Quaca decides to contribute to the eradication of the exploding feral hog population – few experts are better equipped. Beginning Monday, August 4 at 7:00, Sportsman Channel returns with a full-week of the award-winning programming stunt – Aporkalypse 2014. The entire week of expanded hog eradication takes a deep dive into the many issues associated with the feral hog epidemic. When Quaca goes airborne – the process is supremely efficient and effective. The action is unrivaled and the mode of transportation will leave viewers in shock and disbelief. With equal parts adventure and education, Aporkalypse 2014 leads into the anticipated premiere of Pigman: The Series (“Aparalypse”) on Sunday, August 10 at 8:00.

- FX has picked up a fifth season of the Emmy®-nominated comedy series Louie. The seven-episode new season from Creator/Executive Producer/Writer/Star/Director/Editor Louis C.K. will premiere in Spring 2015. In other FX renewal new, Fargo is coming back for a second season with a new cast.

- TNT has renewed three of its chart-topping summer hits: The Last Ship, Major Crimes and Falling Skies. All three dramas rank among basic cable's Top 5 scripted series this summer with total viewers and adults 25-54. They have also helped TNT score a significant lead as basic cable's #1 network in primetime for the summer-to-date.

- Let’s face it—we all love cheese and we all take selfies, so why not get some cheddar for it? From now until August 11th Regal Cinemas and Tostitos are searching for the cheesiest selfie to crown THE ROYAL CHEESIE and fly them out to Hollywood for a VIP weekend. Submit your cheesiest selfie and you'll also score free Regal Cinemas nachos, while supplies last. If we run out of free nacho coupons, don't worry, you'll still receive a coupon for $2 off free nachos. View contest details here.

- Turner Classic Movies (TCM) will remember award-winning actor James Garner on Monday, July 28, with an all-day marathon featuring 12 of his films. The lineup features Garner's performances in such movies as Toward the Unknown (1956), which marked his film debut; the racing drama Grand Prix (1966); the popular romantic comedy The Thrill of It All (1963); the Paddy Cheyefsky-penned The Americanization of Emily (1964); the groundbreaking drama The Children's Hour (1961); and the gender-bending Victor/Victoria (1982). The following is the complete schedule for TCM's tribute to James Garner.

6 a.m. – Toward the Unknown (1956) – starring William Holden, Lloyd Nolan, Virginia Leith and James Garner
8 a.m. – Shoot-Out at Medicine Bend (1957) – starring Randolph Scott, James Craig, Angie Dickinson and James Garner
9:30 a.m. – Grand Prix (1966) – starring James Garner, Eva Marie Saint, Brian Bedford and Yves Montand
12:30 p.m. – Cash McCall (1960) – James Garner, Natalie Wood, Nina Foch and Dean Jagger
2:15 p.m. – The Wheeler Dealers (1963) – starring James Garner, Lee Remick, Phil Harris and Chill Wills
4 p.m. – Darby's Rangers (1958) – starring James Garner, Etchika Choureau and Jack Warden
6:15 p.m. – Mister Buddwing (1966) – starring James Garner, Jean Simmons, Angela Lansbury and Suzanne Pleshette
8 p.m. – The Thrill of It All (1963) – starring Doris Day, James Garner and Arlene Francis
10 p.m. – The Americanization of Emily (1964) – starring Julie Andrews, James Garner, Melvyn Douglas and James Coburn
Midnight – The Children's Hour (1961) – starring Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, James Garner and Miriam Hopkins
2 a.m. – Victor/Victoria (1982) – starring Julie Andrews, James Garner, Robert Preston and Lesley-Ann Warren
4:30 a.m. – Marlowe (1969) – starring James Garner, Rita Moreno, Sharon Farrell and Bruce Lee

Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition XIX

Back in the early days of music, five years after a One Hit Wonder last made the charts they would be teachers, insurance salesmen, or other “real world” jobs. Thanks to the internet it is easy to prolong your fifteen minutes of fame as long as that one hit garnered you enough passionate fans. For those of us that did not become passionate fans, it is fun to give each new single a listen before going, nope; you are staying in One Hit Wonder land (Foster the People are on their seventh post Pumped Up Kicks single). It has been five years since La Roux notched their only hit Bulletproof (to be fair, In for the Kill was a hit in most of Europe) and lost half the group since then and now is essential a one person band, singer Elly Jackson. The result is a more danceable but not as interesting Trouble in Paradise. The album is more sexual with titles like Kiss and Not Tell, Cruel Sexuality, and Sexotheque. This continues on the albums best track Tropical Chaser which sounds like it heavily borrows that weird synth sound from Gorge Michael’s I Want Your Sex. Nothing on Trouble in Paradise makes me think La Roux will graduate to a two hit wonder, but will probably garner enough fans for her to try again on a third album.

Trouble in Paradise gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Common has been one of the most respected rappers in his two decade plus career but even when he aims for the pop charts like with his Be album he falls short never landing in the top 40. He is not trying on his tenth album Nobody's Smiling and as you can tell by the album title, this one is dark. This one hits hard, well as hard as an album that features Big Sean on a track. Nobody’s Smiling is reminiscent of the types of albums you would here blaring out of the windows of cars rolling urban areas around the time Common got his start of the game. The album may continue his Top 40 drought but the tenth installment fits nicely into his catalogue, Big Sean guest spot notwithstanding.

Nobody’s Smiling gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.



It is a tale as old as pop culture; indie actress recruits a musician to make an album of indie pop songs. Mary Elizabeth Winstead met producer Dan the Automator (Gorillaz) during the making of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (she was Ramona Flowers, he helped with the score) and decided to start a group Got A Girl. Their debut album I Love You But I Must Drive Off This Cliff Now is heavily by French 60’s pop music which is why it has a very cinematic feel to it. Winstead’s soft and soothing yet unmemorable voice is well suited for the mellow song which would play more on an easy Sunday morning. But the best tracks are when the duo goes more upbeat like on tracks There’s a Revolution. In terms of indie actresses / indie musicians collaborations, Got a Girl falls in between Zooey Deshanel and M. Ward’s She and Him project and the album Scarlett Johansson made with Pete Yorn.

I Love You but I Must Drive Off This Cliff Now gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod LXXXIV: One More Minute

Yesterday I was going through “Weird Al” Yankovic withdrawal which was the first day i9n over a week he did not release a new music video. Of those eight videos I was not too keen of the originals when I made my list from best to worst with the four original making up the bottom of the list. Sure Weird Al is mostly known for his parodies, his latest album notwithstanding, he still has plenty originals that are just as good as the parodies. My favorite of his originals is One More Minute, a sad bastard song in a doo-wop style with Al hilariously breaking up with his girlfriend. I like to believe that You Don't Love Me Anymore, Al’s second best original, is a response song to One More Minute from the person on the other end of the song. At any rate, both songs are worth just watching the music video, the second of which parodies Extreme’s More than Words.


One More Minute – “Weird Al” Yankovic

I Want My Music Videos: "Weird Al" Yankovic Edition

When Beyoncé air dropped her album before Christmas I wondered what artists could also do the same with some sort of success. Taylor Swift and Adele first came to mind (the latter of which is rumoured to be doing just that this fall) followed by a few rapper like Kanye West and Jay-Z (who both did limited roll outs last year). Who would have guess that “Weird Al” Yankovic would be the first to successfully pull it off? Okay, he did announced the album a month ago but did not give any preview tracks until the day before the release leading many of us to guess which songs he was parodying just by the song titles.

But this paid off as Mandatory Fun is looking like it could be Al’s first number one album ever (it is down to him and Jason Mraz) and his best selling week in the Soundscan era. Boosting these sales was Al’s new marketing plan of releasing eight new music videos over eight straight days starting last Monday. Since record labels do not have large budgets for videos ever since MTV started ignoring their first letter, he partnered up with various websites like Nerdist, Funny or Die, and, um, the Wall Street Journal to underwrite the videos to various degrees of success. So here are those eight videos ranked.


1. Word Crimes – Everyone has parodied Robin Thicke in the past years and each made fun of the video usually having haft naked dudes. Not Weird Al, of course he turns the song into an English class and of course the video is a lyric kind. Sure Al got some digs in at the video with the obnoxious hashtags and “Weird Al Yankovic has a big dictionary” but I liked the subtle two decade old dig at Alanis Morrisette.


2. Foil – A Lorde parody seemed obvious, the only question would be the subject. Apparently my guess of a Game of Thrones parody was a bit too on the nose, instead the parody turned out to be food adjacent. Well until Al take a sharp left with Al going the darkest he has ever gone after putting the tin foil hat on his head. And who did not have a sinking suspicion that Patton Oswalt was one of those secret lizard people from V?


3. Tacky – The video that started off the eight days of Al was also the most star studded with Aiesha Tyler, Margret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal, and Jack Black all don their tackiest clothes in a one take shot version of the Pharrell video. Yes Al ran done five flights of stairs for each take for the video.


4. Handy – You really cannot parody the Fancy music video because you would essentially just be parodying Clueless, instead he went with the Schneider from One Day at a Time look. But hey, dancing plumbers will always be funny.

5. First World Problems - Al’s non-parodies this time around were not his best. This was probably the best I pretty much had three of them happen to me.

6. Sports Song

7. Lame Claim to Fame

8. Mission Statement

Bonus: Now That’s What I Call Polka: There was not an official video for the album’s polka (always a highlight for one of Yankovic’s records) but of course someone synced up the original with the Weird Al version and put it on YouTube.

I Want My Music Television: 7/21/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Angel in Blue Jeans - Train


Sure the new Train song kind of sucks in a jumping on the folk rock trend two years too late kind of way but if you are going to release a bad song you might as well pay Danny Trejo copious amounts of money to lip-sync your lyrics making an actual entertaining video. So congratulations to Train, you almost got me to almost like your crappy Mumford and Sons rip off simply by getting me to watch the music video multiple times.


You and I (Nobody in the World) – John Legend


Just when you think John Legend was going to release yet another music video based around his Sport Illustrated it turns into a very real look at the various types of women that populate the nation. It is empowering and heartbreaking at the same time. Seriously, if you did not break out crying at the breast cancer victim, you very well may not have a soul.


Try - Colbie Caillat


If that is not enough real women for you Colbie Caillat takes that John Legend idea one step further (to be fair, Try hit YouTube two days earlier and is exactly what the song is about; I just put You and I first because it is a much better song) as Colbie and another group of ethnically diverse strip themselves of all their numerous beauty products.


Mother and Father – Broods


We have hit that time a year when people start posting their silly half-year lists. One thing that stuck out to me on these lists is that music so far this year kind of sucked. Making things worse is that are not many good new artists. Around this time last year there were already great albums or EPs from Lorde, Haim, Kacey Musgraves, Daughter, and Chvrches. It is depressing to think Iggy Azalea is probably going to get a Best New Artist nomination basically there is no one else (granted since Ed Sheeran got nominated in the category last year, maybe Lorde will get nominated this year) even though she only has only been on two songs anyone cares about and is the worst part of both songs. Sure there have been a couple songs by new artists that have piqued my interest this year but I really not interested in full albums by Hozier, Bleachers, Jamie N Commons, or X Ambassadors (I have not even been bothered to see if the last two are the same act or two separate ones collaborating on Jungle; which is not to be confused with the new band Jungle that I do not really care for that much) but there is only one group that I am looking forward to hearing more from and that is Broods. They put out a solid EP earlier this year and next month they are releasing their debut album Evergreen (apparently it will not be released stateside until October but sometimes these foreign releases show up on Spotify here before we Americans can buy them). The first single from the album is actually better than anything on that original EP and shoots the album up my list of what may be a crowded most anticipated fall albums (even though many of the biggest names do not have a release date as of now).

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 7/20/14

Falling Skies: Juts when I thought it was unnecessary when they killed off the old dude last week, they brought back Weaver’s daughter only to have her in the middle of a skitter transformation (that is happening quick now) and just when I thought they would just bring her to Lexi to “cure” her, they just kill her off. What?!? This show is just getting too depressing.
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

The Strain: I had high hopes going to the show and it came very close to meeting those. The old dude is all sorts of awesome and he owing Weevil was a great introduction to the character. The CDC guy was a bit much in the court mandate therapy but was much better when he got on the job. And those the show had been pitched as a vampire project, these are definitely not your father’s vampires (or little sister’s for that matter). They kind of seem like zombie vampires which manage to be scarier than both originals. Especially with those worm infested hearts (so that is what was in the old dude’s mason jar which he creepily feeds with his own blood). The first episode does ask a very interesting question, at what point do you believe the crazy old dude with the snake handled sword who wants to burn everyone who was on the plane, even the four “survivors.” Of course, we the viewers know they should have done as he said, but the characters do not have the same information as we do. You really cannot take him at his word at first, especially considering if you did, there probably would not be a show. It seemed like the CDC guy was coming around when he say the worms in the dirt. And if not then, when you learn all the corpse up and left the morgue, that is indefinitely time to start believing the crazy old dude. So I guess the show from here on out will be the CDC guy, his team, and the old dude going around killing everyone on the plane. But who will be the one to chop off the little girl’s head? Samwise better take that one for letting the coffin leave the airport.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Was no one at all suspicious that Clarence Weidman was Angelo’s doctor. I personally would not have trusted that guy to do brain surgery on a loved one. Granted Clarence did us all a favor because Angelo could have been killed off a long time ago.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: I think I said this when he was on Wilfred, but Dwight Yoakam without the cowboy hat is extremely creepy. Somebody give him his own horror franchise. And now he apparently has some of the answers but of course did not spill any yet. Instead we got the start of quite possibly the lamest love triangle of all time between the teenagers. At least we got one answer in that the new girl actually went to Chester Mills High back in 1988, probably not so coincidently the same year the picture of Junior’s mother, uncle, and Dwight Yoakam was taken. Wait, are we really supposed to believe Dwight Yoakam was a teenager in the eighties? (a quick scan of Wikipedia… Dwight Yoakam turned 32 in 1988.)
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Pretty Little Liars: Mona always seemed like the most likely candidate to be the latest incarnation of A, if she ever really stopped but considering the height of the attacker and her wanting Ali to leave and A making Ali stay I guess we can rule out Mona out (though I bet whoever was under the mask was probably a random stunt person and not the actor who will turn out to be A; and Mona vocally wanting Ali gone could just be her misdirecting everyone from thinking it was her). That would leave Melissa and a not so very blind Jenna as the prime suspects. Also Paige has been extremely squirrelly this season two, there is definitely something going on there (plus she wanted no part of Mona’s let get Ali to leave town cabal).
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 7/19/14

Quote of the Week: I don’t wear pink. It’s for (expletive deleted) and little girls who want to grow up and be princesses. (Eleanor Nacht, The Bridge)

Song of the Week: Who'll Stop the Rain – Dwight Yoakam (Under the Dome)

Big News of the Week: Christopher Walken Is Your New Captain Hook: After the success of The Sound of Music Live!, NBC was quick to announce that the live musical would happen this year (and probably for the foreseeable future) and it was eventually announce that Peter Pan would be the next one. We finally got our first casting news and surprisingly it was not for the titular character. Instead we learned this week that Christopher Walken would be the antagonist. Awesome. Sure the seventy-one year old actor may be two decades too old for the role, but thanks to Fatboy Slim we do know he can dance. And he will definitely be a better Captain Hook than the Abercrombie model they have on Once Upon A Time.

Back when Peter Pan was announced I suggested Jack Black whom probably would have been a better fit age wise, but that the Walken casting does is bring star power to the show and do not have to reach for the lead with name recognition like they did with Carrie Underwood and instead can cast someone who is competent and does not have to be a household name. So let me again suggest Brie Larson who may not be a big a name as Underwood, but we know she can act (see the critically acclaimed Short Term 12), that she can sing (see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World); and this week we learned she is even a passable as a boy when she popped up in Jenny Lewis’ video for Just One of the Guys (which sadly is not the theme song for a reboot of the awesomely bad eighties movie of the same name).


Preview Picture of the Week:

“Hail Mary” Tyrant, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Busy Earnin' – Jungle (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Nobody's Smiling - Common

New DVD Release of the Week: Godzilla Vs. Megalon [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: It was just a couple weeks ago when I suggested we needed more Keira Knightley in our live. And just when that film who trailer made me make that declaration is hitting theaters, here is yet another Keira Knightley film trailer which is yet another indie film set in modern terms with Keira doing a surprisingly good American accent. Now that the Keira Knightley revival it is time to get her into a superhero movie or one of those super high quality miniseries that are all the rage lately. Oooh, since she is so good at period pieces and the character would need a sidekick, how about getting Keira Knightley into the upcoming Agent Carter television show. That would have the potential of being the greatest show ever in the history of the medium.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Lottery, Sunday (tomorrow) at 10:00 on Lifetime: A year or two ago I was offered access to Lifetime screeners despite being a dude (I was also granted access to History which is more aligned with my idea of gender roles). Since they were nice enough to think of me I occasional check what is available and every that I watch I came away thinking, I am just too male to enjoy this. I check out their latest project The Lottery because who does not need more Marley Shelton in their life? Sure the women in the dystopian future all being infernal really preys on women’s emotion but I came away thinking it is the best thing they have ever produced and could actually appeal to the less fair sex. You can check out my full review here: Previewing The Lottery: A Dude's Review of Lifetime vol. VIII.

Around the Tubes: 7/18/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Hemlock Grove, Face Off, The Line, Wicked Tuna: North vs. South, Chop Shop, Bert Blyleven, Guster, Smashing Pumpkins, and The Expanse.

- What is lurking within the city limits of Hemlock Grove? Werewolf transformations of course! Netflix has released an all-new exclusive clip showcasing the behind-the-scenes of this fan-favorite moment of Season two! The clip features new Season two executive producer/showrunner Charles "Chic" Eglee as well as cast members Landon Liboiron and newcomer Madeline Brewer discussing how these special effects came to life! Fans of the Emmy-nominated Eli Roth Netflix original series can now witness new transformations, thrills, chills, murder, suspense and more blood for themselves, as Season two of Hemlock Grove is now available for streaming at Netflix.com/HemlockGrove. Check out a clip below:


- Premiering Tuesday, July 22 at 9:00, season 7 of Syfy’s special effects makeup competition series Face Off begins with two of the aspiring artists being eliminated before the competition even begins, a twist that shocks the 16 aspiring hopefuls the moment they arrive to Los Angeles. This begins Face Off’s “Life and Death” season, in which the contestants face creative challenges that will inspire them to explore themes of rebirth and mortality. In the premiere, the contestants must incorporate a prosthetic into their audition makeups in a stressful four-hour challenge. As the artists are working, host McKenzie Westmore introduces a special guest advisor for the challenge, horror icon Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger). In the end, two artists are eliminated before ever moving into the Face Off house or stepping into the lab. Syfy also rolls out an interactive social element for season 7, Tweet Off: The Fan Favorite Sweepstakes. Every week, viewers can tweet which of the contestants is their favorite using #FaceOff. At the end of every episode, there will be a reveal of which contestant garnered the most positive sentiment for the week. And at the end of the season, the contestant who has the most cumulative weekly wins is named Fan Favorite and will be awarded $10,000. Tweet Off: The Fan Favorite Sweepstakes also gives viewers the chance to win. Starting with the premiere on July 22 and running through the end of Face Off’s season 7, viewers can enter the sweepstakes at www.faceoff.syfy.com to win a Kryolan make-up kit and a tutorial from the season 7 Fan Favorite.

- Game Show Network, the leader in game shows and competitive entertainment, announced this week it has greenlit a new traveling game show, The Line, from High Noon Entertainment. Hosted by Jeff Davis (Whose Line is it Anyway?) and Candace Bailey (Attack of the Show), the series offers people the chance to win cash and prizes by playing outrageous games while waiting in a line for their shot at answering a series of trivia questions. The Line, which will shoot five episodes in Nashville beginning July 19, is a unique traveling game that invites hundreds of people to line up each day for a chance to win cash and prizes. Though the goal is to get to the “Trivia Vault” at the front of the line, where each contestant can attempt to win a jackpot by answering eight true/false questions, many will have an opportunity to play and win while waiting in the line itself. Those who make it to the front of the line will see the jackpot grow with each contestant who fails to answer his or her eight questions. Still, everyone who gets in “The Line” may have the chance to be a contestant and a winner – one way or possibly both!

- On the heels of its third and highest-rated season for hit series Wicked Tuna, National Geographic Channel pits Gloucester’s finest against good ol’ Southern fishermen in an exciting new series, Wicked Tuna: North vs. South, premiering Sunday, Aug. 17, at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT. n order to succeed, the Gloucester rod-and-reel veterans will need to master the different method of fishing — greensticking, in which artificial squid are trolled from a 30-foot fiberglass pole in order to entice bluefin swimming near the surface — and best a fleet of North Carolina captains battling for the same catches. Bluefin season in the Outer Banks only lasts a limited time, and there is a highly restricted government catch quota. But if the captains can reel in some “monstah” fish before the quota is reached, the winter months could potentially yield a greater catch than in Gloucester. In fishermen’s terms: a cash bonanza.

- Paramount Digital Entertainment and Machinima have partnered on a gritty, new action drama Chop Shop to premiere today. Chop Shop follows a crew of car thieves as they rise from the mean streets of Los Angeles to become high level international players. The series will premiere exclusively on Machinima’s channels. Elliott Lester (Blitz) directs the Bandito Brothers (Act Of Valor) and Joshua Weinstock produced series, alongside writers Josh Baizer and Marshall Johnson (Mortal Kombat: Legacy). Series stars John Bregar, Rene Moran, Ana Ayora, along with Robert Patrick. Check out the trailer below:


- On Monday, July 14 in Minneapolis, legendary pitcher Bert Blyleven teamed up with 2 GINGERS® Irish Whiskey to face brave batters in a Wiffle® ball battle heading into the 2014 MLB All-Star Game®. Blyleven pitched his iconic curveballs, and every batter who struck out took a pie in the face. For every pie thrown, 2 GINGERS® donated to the Wounded Warrior Project and the Major League Baseball Players Alumni Association, resulting in a combined total of $10,000.

- PledgeMusic is excited to announce a freshly launched pre-order campaign with Boston alternative rock band Guster for their upcoming album. Produced by Richard Swift (The Shins, Foxygen), the new album is the follow up to 2010's Easy Wonderful. With the album fully recorded, Guster wants to offer exclusive merchandise and experiences and create frenetic fan engagement leading up the album's early 2015 release. Fans can purchase pre-order exclusives such as signed CDs, handwritten lyrics, and a skydiving adventure with the band. Among the unique experiences available for pledgers, they can welcome Guster's Ryan Miller to DJ a house party while wearing a Chewbacca costume or accompany the band to a local Tesla dealership where they will test drive a Model S with you and then purchase it for you (for a cool $150K USD). In addition, fans can spend a day with Guster on the idyllic Maine seacoast with paddling, lawn games & archery followed by a sunset BBQ and acoustic set, hosted by the L.L.Bean Outdoor Discovery Schools. For more details visit Pledge Music.

- When it was first released on June 1, 1998, the Smashing Pumpkins’ Adore, the follow-up to their mega-successful 1995 double album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, fans were puzzled by its lack of rock guitars, its folk and electronic elements and relative intimacy. Even the album title, as Billy Corgan mentions in the booklet that accompanies Universal Music Enterprises’ 107-track, six-CD/DVD reissue of the epic disc—due Virgin/UMe on Sept. 23—was misunderstood. “The funny thing was [it] was a joke that no one ever got,” says Corgan, explaining that Adore was meant as a play on “A Door.” In addition, Adore will be available as a single CD, a double-vinyl version and a deluxe, 90-track digital package.


- Syfy and Alcon TV today announced that three-time Golden Globe nominee Thomas Jane (Hung, The Punisher) will star as the world-weary Detective Miller, a native of “the Asteroid Belt” between Mars and Jupiter, in The Expanse, the new 10-episode space opera based on the international best-selling book series, premiering on Syfy in 2015.

Previewing The Lottery: A Dude's Review of Lifetime vol. VIII

Near future dystopias have been all the rage in multiplexes lately it is surprising it has taken this long for it to make it to the small screen. Since the future dystopian movies are like comic book movies for the fairer sex, it should not be surprising that Lifetime got in on the ground floor. And they are really hitting at female fears with what went wrong in the near future: In The Lottery all women become infertile. As the opening scenes describes: “In 2016 there was an alarming drop in worldwide human birth rates. No specific cause could be identified. In 2019, only six children were born. They were the last ones. Every effort to reverse infertility has failed.”

See, every young woman’s nightmare. But here is the thing; the show may be the first project Lifetime has ever done that can actual appeal to dudes too. Except instead preying on possible dystopian fears for women, the world that The Lottery lives in is a utopia for men. Seriously, a future where even chubby dudes with receding hairlines can get to hook up with absurdly attractive doctors because if you also decent from Ethiopia, you are extremely fertile (oh yeah, dudes are still fine in the future, it is the woman’s uterus that is the problem; there are even billboards plastered everywhere that says, “Sam wants you to donate sperm”). Seriously, sex is so prominent in this future there are beds inside the bars because people cannot even be bothered to spend the time to drive home. Awesome, if not kind of extremely unsanitary.

The Lottery picks up in 2025, so those final six kids are now six years old. One of course is raised by a single dad who has to be getting more action than even your average chubby Ethiopian with receding hairline. And though there are no kids under six (sorry kindergarten teachers, you are now out of work in this near future) at least there are now televisions inside gas pumps and virtual treadmills for those who what to feel like their outside without actually having to be outside. But do not fret women of the future, Marley Shelton was able to fertilize one hundred embryos (of course the chick from Sugar and Spice plays the smartest doctor in the world).


So why The Lottery? As you can probably guess the show is not based on the short story you probably read in school about the dystopian future where kids are stoned to death. No, the president, facing low poll numbers and a possible recall (apparently you can also recall the president in the future too; wait until the Tea Party hears of this idea) has decided to host a lottery where the one hundred women of America will get to carry one of the embryos to term. Yeah, Lifetime is really going hard at the female viewer. But I am just watch for the thought of the future where I can easily hook up with any random hot chick with a ticking biological clock without fear she would actually get pregnant barring some miraculous super sperm. But in all seriousness, this is the best project from Lifetime that I have seen yet.

The Lottery airs Sundays at 10:00 on Lifetime.

Previewing Expecting Amish: A Dude's Review of Lifetime vol. VII

I can be stubborn, stuck in my ways, and fear change but no one is more stubborn than the Amish who shun fancy things like electricity. Now I have to admit the about ninety percent of what I know about their culture I learned from “Weird Al” Yankovic. Then the other ten percent was half an episode of Amish in the City which probably not the best representation. As the latest Lifetime Movie, I am not sure if Expecting Amish is a better representation of the culture.

One of the aspects of the Amish life I learned about Amish in the City was a rite of passage Amish young adults take where they live in the modern world and after a month they decide if they want to come back and be baptized in the church or stay in modern civilization and be shunned (which was the basis of the show). It has a name, but it long and weird and I am too lazy to look up the correct spelling so let us just call it Amish Spring Break.

Amish Spring Break is the basis of Expecting Amish where AJ Michalka (Cow Belles) and her three Amish buddies go to Los Angeles where they are amazed by self closing car doors and toaster ovens. They are so naïve they are even enamored by One Republic, just wait until they get to hear some real music like The Clash. How the Amish are able to afford such a swanky LA pad goes unexplained, but I guess when you are not spending all your money on disposable income on iPads, Playstations, or even groceries because you grow and kill your own food, it is easier to save a nest egg.

Then the Amish go to a college party to party like it’s 1699 with the “faithless” including Jesse McCartney (Beautiful Soul). Since this is a Lifetime Movie, it from there can go one of two ways: they can be roofied and taken advantage of or fall in love with a modern boy who teaches her there is more to the modern world than toasters and computers. (Granted the ultimate Lifetime Movie, both would end up happening.) But with a title like Expecting Amish, the result of the trip to Los Angeles is fairly obvious. Then, of course, hilarity ensues (well depending if you take Lifetime movies serious or watch them semi-ironically).

Expecting Amish premieres Saturday at 8:00 on Lifetime. Two more Lifetime movies premiering this month includes Guilty at 17 premiering on Sunday at 7:00. It is a thriller starring Erin Sanders who co-stars on Melissa and Joey. She plays 17 year old Traci, who falsely accuses a teacher of sexually harassing another student. When the teacher commits suicide and Traci finds out the teacher was really innocent, she confides in a substitute teacher who places both of them in danger when she takes matters into her own hands. Also there is The Chocking Game premieres on Saturday, July 26 at 8:00. Based on the YA novel called Choke by Diana Lopez, Freya Tingley (Jersey Boys), Peri Gilpin (Frasier) and Alexandra Steele (De Grassi) star in the drama that follows a teenager who flirts with disaster after being introduced to the "game" of intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain to get high.

Previewing The Hotwives of Orlando

The Bachelor is a pretty deplorable franchise, targeting young women who think they could one day find Prince Charming via reality television even though ninety percent of the contestants on the show are not there for, dare I say, the right reasons. I never watch one second of The Bachelor or any of its spin-offs, but I did watch Burning Love, a web series that parodied the show including its two spin-offs in later seasons.

Bravo’s numerous Housewives in another deplorable franchise that I would never watch. But a parody of the shows? Sure. Just like Burning Love, you will need an internet connection to watch The Hotwives of Orlando which premieres on Hulu today, but if you are reading this, that should not be a problem. But it looks like Hulu is taking a page out of the Netflix notebook and instead of releasing one or two episodes every couple days to a week, all episodes are available now.

None of the cast may be household names, but you will undoubtably recognized. Yep that is the chick from The Office and the other is from Happy Endings. You may not even be able to place the token drunk housewife, but you know you have seen her on multiple sitcoms before. The dude from The League even pops up as the Andy Cohen after show host to tell you what he is going to talk about on his show (sadly this show does not actually exist… yet).

All the Housewives tropes are here, The Trophy Wife, The Religious Zealot, The Entrepreneur, The Bankrupt Overspender, The Cougar, and of course The Drug Addled Former Child Star. The first episode naturally features a charity party that makes little to no sense (high heels for dogs, because it is just an excuse to throw a party and stir up drama.

For those that fear that there may no be enough material to fill up a full season, the This Season On package (which tends to be the best part of any reality show, even parody ones), includes a Pimps and Ho’s party (which ends up being even funnier than the charity party), an intervention, infidelity, plastic surgery, Botox, a strip club, rehab, a heavily auto-tuned pop single, hair pulling, and “Weird Al” Yankovic. Yes, Weird Francking Al makes a special appearance. There is a very good chance you will laugh more times than you do on your usual network sitcom.

The Hotwives of Orlando premieres today on Hulu. Why are still reading this, click the link and go there now, you can watch all seven episodes (well if you have Hulu Plus, just the first two episodes now for the free version), which includes the prerequisite reunion show.