Best of the Week - 2/11/12

Quote of the Week: You know what they say: getting old ain’t for pussies. (Raylan, Justified)

Song of the Week: Burnin' for You – Blue Öyster Cult (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Super Bowl XLVI: Darn you New York Giants, for the second time in five years you just had to win the game late, but still leaving enough time for a potential last second drive. Remember the good old days when the Super Bowl would be a blowout and you could just sit back, relax and enjoy the party and commercials? Oh well, at least they still ended up beating Bill Belechicken and his merry band of cheater so us Patriot haters can still hang our hats on that they have yet to win a championship since Spygate.

As for those previously mention commercials: yawn (except of course all the ones that featured Adriana Lima). A week later an none really stick out to me except the Clint Eastwood one (and of course Adriana Lima) which was stupidly decried as pro-Obama. The ad was pro-America and anyone who thought it was pro-Obama or even anti-Obama as other talking heads insisted need to leave America. But as un memorable the ads were once again this year, at least none of them features some fifty year old pretending that she was still in her twenties. No one needs to see that.

Free Download of the Week: Celebrity - The Escape Club (Amazon MP3): Remember two hit wonder The Escape Club. You know Wild Wild West; “Heading for the nineties living in the eighties” and those weird arms / legs things in the video? Well they are still together and surprisingly this song is not bad. You got to feel bad for two hit wonders, not enough hits to be remembered in the annuls of time and one hit too many for the novelty of being a one hit wonder.

Deal of the Week: Blu Rays Under $10 (Forrest Gump, Batman Begins, Groundhog Day)

New Album Release of the Week: As The Crow Flies - Amos Lee

New DVD Release of the Week: Beavis & Butthead: Volume 4

Video of the Week: As lackluster as the ads during the Super Bowl were, the best one actually came after the big game when Betty White congratulated the New York Giants before teling America who will be lifting the Lombardi Trophy in 2013. I have lived through the Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Blown Save, The Decision, and an inferior city stealing our football team only to win the Super Bowl four years later so I have been content that I would never see a championship in Cleveland in my lifetime. But now that we have the backing of Belly White, not only to I know I see one in my life time, I believe Betty will see one in her lifetime. Mark it down: Josh Cribbs will be your Super Bowl XLVII MVP. (Please note that I will delete this post and deny I ever typed it when the Brown picks up Donovan McNabb in free agency.)



Next Week Pick of the Week: Grammy Awards, Sunday at 8:00 on CBS: It is the biggest night in music tomorrow and once again they are giving us quite a few great collaborations including Coldplay and Rihanna, Tony Bennett and Carrie Underwood, Glen Campbell with The Band Perry and Blake Shelton, Alicia Keys is teaming up with Bonnie Raitt to honor Etta James, and the reunited The Beach Boys with fellow Southern Californians Maroon 5 and Foster the People. Plus the return of Adele to live performing and the first performance of Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band since the passing of longtime saxophonist Clarence Clemmons. They may even pass out an award or two (I am going to go out on a very short limb and say they all go to Adele).

Around the Tubes - 2/10/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Full Metal Jousting, The Voice, The Loving Story, Bunheads, The Man Who Can Fly, Gotye, Spotify, Ringo Starr, ESPN Home Court, Benny Marchant, Hardcore Pawn, Pawngo, and NBC.

- New Series Alert! This Sunday History will be jumping on the modern jouster bandwagon with Full Metal Jousting premiering this Sunday at 10:00. In preparation for the show, you can head over to history.com to find bios for the contestants and a History of Jousting article. You can also head over to History’s Twitter page (@HistoryChannel) where the host of the show Shane Adams will be posting interesting tips and facts about the competition throughout the premiere.



- Want to be the fifth judge on The Voice? There’s an app for that on Facebook. Build your own team of artists, make coaching decisions and complete against friends and other users and you can win an all expenses trip to LA where you will have a meet and greet with the Season 2 winner. There will also be weekly prizes of Voice merchandise.

- A new HBO documentary called The Loving Story naturally is premiering Valentine’s Day (that’s Tuesday for those that have not ordered their flowers yet) about a half black / half native American and white dude whose marriage was declared illegal in 1958. Their case ended up going all the way o the Supreme Count and here is a preview:



- Last week ABC Family announced they were picking up new shows Baby Daddy and Beverly Hills Nanny and this week they announced yet another new show Bunheads. The show will be executive produced by Amy Sherman-Palladino who did the same for Gilmore Girls and will feature Tony Award winning actor Sutton Foster as a Las Vegas showgirl who impulsively gets married and moves to his sleepy coastal town and gets a job at her new mother-in-law’s dance school. All three new series will begin production this spring.

- This Sunday at 8:00, the National Geographic Channel will premiere a new special The Man Who Can Fly featuring adventurer Dean Potter. He is one of the world’s most renowned rock climbers and when he is done climbing, he doesn’t just repel down, he leaps off the cliffs and mountains while wearing a special “wingsuit” that helps him sour before he deploys his parachute. Check out the trailer below:

The Man Who Can Fly – Trailer

- Goyte may not be a household name just hear stateside, but there is a good chance you have already heard his Somebody I Used to Know by now, and if you have not, there is a good chance you will sooner than later. Wall Street Journal recently sat down with Australian Wally De Backer, the singer / songwriter behind Goyte about breaking into American marker for their new “Off Duty” YouTube channel.

Gotye -- Australian Music Star -- A WSJ Exclusive Interview


- Sure it is not as good as my playlist of the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of 90’s, but Barack Obama has recently created his own official Obama 2012 Spotify Playlist with everyone from Raphael Saadiq to the Zac Brown Band to the new Bruce Springsteen single on it.

- Ringo Starr recently announced his 13th All Starr Band, which will launch June 14, 2012 from Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls, Ontario and conclude July 21, 2012 at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, California. New to the All Starrs are Steve Lukather (Toto) and Gregg Rolie (Santana & Journey) who will join All Starr alumni Richard Page, Todd Rundgren, Mark Rivera, and Gregg Bissonette.

- Fans of music and college basketball should be happy to learn that ESPN will start highlighting musical acts during game telecasts starting January 21. You can vote for your favorite original song on ESPN Home Court’s Facebook page.

- Benny Marchant is a rising talent in the rock and songwriter scene with his first EP, “Missed Conversations.” If you live in New York City of Baltimore, Benny will be coming to you soon to the Rockwood Music Hall and The 8x10 respectively. Head over to his Facebook page for days and time.

- Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the mid-season finale of Hardcore Pawn airs Tuesday at 9:00 on TruTV. Maybe Les Gold has an engagement ring you can buy.

- Sure it was a bad pass, but Pawngo, the first online pawn shop still delivered a 900 pound gift of Nestle Butterfingers to Wes Welker in Boston earlier this week in the center of Copley Square in Boston.

- Finally, for those that missed it during the Super Bowl, here is NBC’s Brotherhood of Man including, le sigh, Annie Edison. Please come back to television soon Annie.

When Was the Last Time You Did Something for the First Time

For people of my age, Van Halen with David Lee Roth is almost a mythical figure. We were just about creating our first memories by the time Jump and Hot for Teacher were getting airplay, but just at their height of success, Roth decided to instead make crappy music by himself. Really my generation remembers Van Hager much more vividly than the original lineup. Then as teenagers, Sammy Hager got kicked out of the group and everyone got excited for the good old days, even if we did not remember much of them, when the Van Halen brothers brought back Roth back into the fold to record some new songs for a greatest hits package and then promptly got the boot again after a embarrassingly bad appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards and replaced him with the dude from Extreme.

Then over the past decade, Hager was brought back for a tour and was kicked out again, this time along with longtime bassist Michael Anthony, while Roth came back in for a third stint. But this time around, David Lee Roth is less rock god that we thought him to be in the eighties and more embarrassing grandpa who tries to be cool in front of your friends. But here we are, fourteen years since Van Halen, with any singer, has released new music. For comparison, the heavily mocked Guns N' Roses took fifteen years.

Is A Different Kind of Truth worth the wait? Much like Chinese Democracy: of course not. Both long awaited albums sound stuck in a long ago era. And there is very good reason why the songs sound stuck in the past as Sammy Hager accuses that many, if not all of the songs were based off of demo from before even he was in the band. Fans were quick to point out the first single Tattoo sounds much like Down in Flames, a rare track the band played a few times in the seventies.

So for fans of nostalgia, there is plenty to get your motor running. Songs like She’s the Woman, Chinatown and As If would fit anywhere on the original lineup’s album but unfortunately none are as good as anything you will find on the greatest hits album. But there just is something missing and his name is Michael Anthony. Not only is the bass is the backbone of any band, but he was also battling The Edge as the greatest backing vocal in the history of rock and roll and the twelve year old they hired to replace him just in just not up to the task.

You would think the youngster would add something new to the band or at some point in his life would say, hey dad you should check out this new band. But no new influences are introduced on the album lending to Hager’s accusation that Dave and Eddie did no new writing for the album. And if that is the case, the music buying public is getting bamboozled with the band repackaging outtakes as a new album and not as the collector’s items as they are on a boxed set or reissue.

Song to Download – She's the Woman

A Different Kind of Truth gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television - 2/8/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Gold on the Ceiling – The Black Keys



Why are The Black Keys not having their record release party in Akron? Seriously, Northeast Ohio just sat through another painful football season and you guys are all we have to get behind at this point. Come back home boys.


Beekeeper’s Daughter – The All-American Rejects



The latest video from The All-American Rejects reminds me of the old McG directed music videos from the late nineties which were heavy on dance sequences, all that is missing is brighter colors.


Calling Me Names – Good Old War



I like how Good Old War keyed us in on how they got their name; I would have guessed it came from the bandmate’s name. And the song is just pure bouncy fun.


Sense - Amanda Mair



Those crazy Swedes are at it again exporting yet another absurdly catchy pop singer. Just do not hold it against the seventeen year old Amanda Mair that she prefers the Spice Girls over Kate Bush because do not pretend like you do not have Wannabe on your iPod.

Breaking Down the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90's

In a story I broke yesterday (see The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s or just listen to it on Spotify) VH1 release their list 40 One Hit Wonders of the 90’s and it sucked massively mostly because a bunch of the artists do not fit the label including: (other artists’ hits in parentheses)

#1 Baby Got Back – Sir Mix-A-Lot (Posse on Broadway, Beepers, My Hooptie, Put ‘em on the Glass, Jump on It)
#2 Rico Suave – Gerardo (We Want the Funk, Here Kitty Kitty)
#7 Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (Play that Funky Music, Ninja Rap)
#9 Jump Around – House of Pain (Shamrocks and Shenanigans, Who’s the Man, On Point)
#11 You Get What You Give - New Radicals (Someday We’ll Know)
#12 Humpty Dance – Digital Underground (Doowutchyalike, Same Song, Kiss You Back)
#16 Jump – kriss kross (Warm it Up, Alright, Tonite’s tha Night)
#18 Unbelievable – EMF (Lies, I Believe, Children, They’re Here)
#20 Good Vibrations – Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch (Wildside)
#25 The Impression That I Get – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones (The Rascal King, Royal Oil, So Sad to Say)
#28 Flava in Ya Ear – Craig Mack (Get Down)
#30 Bitter Sweat Symphony – The Verve (Lucky Man, Love Is Noise)
#36 Bad Boys – Inner Circle (Sweat (A La La La La Long))


Here are some stats from my list:

Songs by Year
1990 – 9
1991 – 6
1992 – 7
1993 – 17
1994 – 9
1995 – 9
1996 – 16
1997 – 9
1998 – 13
1999 – 5

Songs by Genre
Rap - 19
Adult Contemporary – 16
Alternative – 14
Pop - 12
Alt-Rock – 11
Rock - 8
RnB - 8
Comedy – 4
Swing - 4
Electronica – 2
Reggae - 2
Gospel – 1

Artists of whom I have multiple songs on my iPod
Blind Melon
Duncan Sheik
The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Onyx
Local H
Helmet
Nada Surf
K's Choice
Denis Leary
Robbie Williams
Shawn Mullins
Son Volt
Chris Rock
as well as Beavis and Butt-Head and Positive K on the same track

Artists Who’s Albums I Actual Bought
Wreckx-N-Effect
The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Temple of the Dog
The Tony Rich Project
Toadies
Denis Leary
Los del Río
Beavis and Butt-Head (if you count their soundtrack)
Son Volt
Chris Rock
Natural Selection
Bart Simpson (if you count that Simpson’s album)

Artist on the List that had multiple hits
- Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz appeared on the Tatyana Ali song on the list as well as Mariah Carey’s My All
- Teddy Riley of Wreckx-n-Effect was also in Blackstreet
- Dan Wilson from Semisonic recently wrote Adele’s Someone Like You and took home the Song of the Year Grammy for writing Dixie Chick’s Not Ready to Make Nice
- The namesake of The Brian Setzer Orchestra was also in The Stray Cats
- Temple of the Dog featured members of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden
- Chris Gaines aka Garth Brooks the highest selling act of the decade
- Big Pun was featured on a Jennifer Lopez song
- C.C. Lemonhead and Jay Ski were in not one, not two, but three one hit wonders: Quad City DJ’s, 95 South and 69 Boyz
- And do not forget the artists who had or are still having massive careers in their native lands like Take That of which Robbie Williams is a member of, Los Del Rio, Snow, and Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.


Song about the Female Posterior: 5 (6 if “Lick your boom-boom down” counts though I am not entirely sure what Informer is about or if that is actually what Snow is singing)

The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90's

A couple months ago VH1 aired a special of the 40 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s and it sucked massively. It seemed like all of their selections either were horrible songs (Rednex), artists even I have never heard of (Imani Coppola) and most erroneous were not even legitimate one wonders (almost forty percent of their list by my account). More on VH1’s list tomorrow. I was so irate at their list I started out on making my list. As it turns out of their top forty, only fifteen made my top 100. Even though some guy coined the phrase “One Hit Wonder” as landing one and only one song in Billboard’s top 40, but one hit Wonders are much more subjective and let’s face it, in the nineties, MTV had much more influence on what was a hit that Billboard. And since I watch a lot of the former music television and listened to a lot of alternative radio and rap music, my list is skewed to that. And I am sure my list will probably make people as irate as I was at the one VH1 release. If that is the case, that is what the comment section is for. Without further ado, here is my list of the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s (head over to Spotify to listen to the list).

1. Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand - Primitive Radio Gods

2. No Rain - Blind Melon

3. Bad Reputaion - Freedy Johnston

4. I Wish – Skee-Lo

5. Everything Falls Apart – Dog’s Eye View

6. Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik

7. Deja Vu (Uptown Baby) - Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz

8. No Myth - Michael Penn

9. Rump Shaker - Wreckx-N-Effect

10. Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - Us3

11. I Got a Man - Positive K

12. Closing Time - Semisonic

13. Jump, Jive an' Wail - The Brian Setzer Orchestra

14. Slam - Onyx

15. Let Me Clear My Throat (Live) - DJ Kool

16. Hooch - Everything

17. Walking In Memphis - Marc Cohan

18. Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

19. Hunger Strike - Temple of the Dog

20. Life Is a Highway - Tom Cochrane

21. Bound for the Floor - Local H

22. Mockingbirds - Grant Lee Buffalo

23. Here and Now - Letters to Cleo

24. Low - Cracker

25. Nobody Knows - The Tony Rich Project

26. Feed the Tree - Belly

27. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers

28. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something

29. Silent Lucidity - Queensrÿche

30. Unsung - Helmet

31. Back for Good - Take That

32. C'mon N' Ride It (The Train) - Quad City DJ’s

33. Tubthumping - Chumbawamba

34. Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

35. Popular - Nada Surf

36. Not an Addict – K’s Choice

37. Tequila - A.L.T. and the Lost Civilization

38. Walk This World - Heather Nova

39. Push - Moist

40. Ditty - Paperboy

41. Stomp (Remix) - God’s Property from Kirk Franklin’s Nu Nation featuring Salt

42. Naked Eye - Luscious Jackson

43. Possum Kingdom - Toadies

44. A*****e - Denis Leary

45. Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin

46. Cannonball - The Breeders

47. Angels - Robbie Williams

48. Knockin’ Boots - Candyman

49. Lullaby - Shawn Mullins

50. Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix) - Los del Rio

51. Insensitive - Jann Arden

52. I Got You Babe - Beavis and Butt-Head featuring Cher

53. Tic Tac Toe - Kyper

54. Informer - Snow

55. Connection - Elastica

56. Lost in You - Chris Gaines

57. Drown - Son Volt

58. Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers

59. Crush - Jennifer Paige

60. Whoomp! (There It Is) - Tag Team

61. Hard to Say I'm Sorry - Az Yet featuring Peter Cetera

62. Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...) - Lou Bega

63. No Sex - Chris Rock featuring Gerald Levert

64. All Cried Out - Allure featuring 112

65. Flood - Jars of Clay

66. I Love You Always Forever - Donna Lewis

67. Because I Love You (The Postman Song) - Stevie B

68. Live and Learn - Joe Public

69. Pepper - Butthole Surfers

70. Steal My Sunshine - Len

71. Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin’ Daddies

72. Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

73. One More Try - Timmy T

74. Do Anything - Natural Selection

75. Battle Flag - Lo-Fidelity Allstars featuring Pigeonhead

76. Back In The Day - Ahmad

77. Ready to Go - Republica

78. Freak Me - Silk

79. Here In Your Bedroom - Goldfinger

80. Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger

81. Here Comes the Hotstepper - Ini Kamoze

82. Joey - Concrete Blonde

83. Whoot, There It Is - 95 South

84. Daydreamin' - Tatyala Ali

85. Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root

86. Circles - Soul Coughing

87. Mother 93 - Danzig

88. Still Not a Player - Big Punisher featuring Joe

89. Groove Is In the Heart - Deee-Lite featuring Q-Tip

90. Laid - James

91. Do the Bartman - Bart Simpson

92. 6 Underground - Sneaker Pimps

93. California - Wax

94. Da' Dip - Freak Nasty

95. Three Little Pigs - Green Jellö

96. C'est La Vie - B*Witched

97. Deeper Shade of Soul - Urban Dance Squad

98. Dazzey Duks - Duice

99. Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinéad O’Connor

100. Wanna Be a Baller – Lil’ Troy featuring Fat Pat, Yungstar, Lil' Will, and H.A.W.K.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/5/12

Once Upon a Time: I started to wonder why the genie who turn on the guy that set him free, but then realized guys always do stupid things for love (and of course the genie even warned the king that all wishes turn out wrong). But I sniff out the double cross early on because I really doubted that the Evil Queen’s most loyal subject in the fairytale world would turn on her in the real world. And even if I did not realize it right away, nothing telegraphs an inside job like having the new playground plans queued up at the city council meeting. Of course Emma is too dumb to realize that Sydney is playing her. And apparently there are no Tea Party members because just taking out $50,000 of public funds for a playhouse without asking anyone should have still gotten Regina (who apparently is so vain she did not even bother to change her name in the real world) in trouble. One thing that is bothering me is if Storybooke has been in extended animation for thirty years, how do they have cell phones to text each other with? Should they not be stuck in the eighties in terms of technology?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

House of Lies: Say what you will about House of Lies, it is boring, the characters are unlikable, it is unfunny; but it did give us Veronica Mars dancing in her underwear. Now if that will happen every week the show will finally reach its potential because Ronnie’s big secret turning out that she is engaged will not cut it.

Pretty Little Liars: The whole Allison in the wig thing adds credence to my theory that she had a twin. But who goes to a salon with a wig on, then take said wig off in the middle of her appointment? And I was disappointed that what Spencer had on Hanna’s step sister was that she had bug bites from camp when she was like ten. And Spencer seriously kept the picture on her phone? That speaks less of Spencer than the step-sister.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: Sure it was obvious when she Rebecca confronted Annie last week, but did she actually confirm that she had kids that she gave up and that Alec had something to do with?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Oh snap, it was actually grandma that called INS. But why would that take him and his clothes? Seems a little odd.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: Just when you thought Justified could not come up with a new showdown, two criminals turn their guns on each other. Awesome. And I doubt anything will displace “Use it or throw it away” as my favorite Raylan quote of all time, but dropping a bullet on the dude with the weird forehead and telling him, “The next one is coming faster” quickly moves up to the second position.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: It is ironic that Vinnie went on this long diatribe about how Mandi (who very well may be the ugliest hot chick ever) hooked up with the wrong person when it turned out he was the wrong person to get Biblical with. But it is odd that they shipped Vinnie home, but the chick who punched her partner (who, if I am not mistaken punched a mirror last season) did not. But I was glad to see Wes go home, I am a bit tired of these repeat guys who tend to run challenges again and again.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I still do not understand why Leonard has not gotten a lawyer to comb through the Roommate Agreement for loopholes like the one Sheldon executed this week. I would do it just to toy with him.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 2/4/12

Quote of the Week: I’ll even watch one of those artsy foreign ones you like where all they do are stare at windows. (Hanna, Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Rocket Man (I Think It's Going to Be a Long Long Time) – Elton John (The Big Bang Theory)

The Very Last Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week: (at least until she is cast in the next inevitable ill-fated Charlie’s Angels reboot)



Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: NBC Goes Pilot Shopping: We still have to wait about four month until we learn what new shows will be hitting the small screen next fall, but a bunch of shows have just gotten the green light to film a pilot. NBC has gotten out of the gate with three new shows including the Munsters reboot from Brian Fuller (who created three of the finest shows ever: Dead Like Me, Wonderfalls Pushing Daisies) and director Brian Singer (X-Men) but now has a new name: Mockingbird Lane. And with a 2 million dollar penalty, it is a good bet that Revolution about a world without energy from J.J. Abrams will be making it to air. Though the last time NBC bid that high from the master of high concept / low rewards, which did not turn out well (see Undercovers, or do not, it sucked massively). In other shows you could not pay me to watch news, NBC also gave a thumbs up to a Ryan Murphy sitcom The New Normal about a gay couple and their surrogate.

Free Download of the Week: These Days (Music Video) - Foo Fighters (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: Amazon MP3 has released a new batch of $5 album including ones from Blind Melon, Norah Jones, Keith Sweat and Madi Diaz.



New Album Release of the Week: A Different Kind of Truth - Van Halen

New DVD Release of the Week: Throw Momma From the Train [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Some football game got the coveted pre-The Voice premiere slot this year and I was not entirely sure I was going to watch this season until I saw Cee Lo Green’s bedazzled leather jacket. Considered me sold. Bonus points for wrangling Lionel Fracking Richie in as a mentor. And to tide you over until tomorrow, here is some white chick singing a smoky rendition of Trey Songz’ Say Aah for her blind audition.



Next Week Pick of the Week: The River: Tuesday at 9:00 on ABC: Considering last weekend I watched Paranormal Activity 3, a television show hyping the writer / director of the original film is not a big plus in my book right now. It became clear to me while watching the third installment that all the films could be fast forwarded during the first hour because nothing interesting happens until the last twenty minutes. In Oren Peli’s defense, the first one was the best and originally done and he did everything in the film, write, direct, cinematography, editing, and only wrote the second and nothing with the third, but has signed on to write the fourth (if we are stuck watching “found” reel to reel movies of grandma, I’m out on the franchise). Hopefully his new television show has a bit more action in the first two acts than his movies did because the ads do have me curious. Plus he has brought along the hot chick from the first movie in a recurring role. She might be able to get me through the boring parts.

Around the Tubes - 2/3/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Michael Feinstein’s American Songbook, Artist Den, 30 Rock, Bring it On, Chronicle, Doomsday Preppers, Showtime and ABC Family pick ups and renewals, Key and Peele, HBO Valentine presents, The Dog Whisperer, and Jefferson’s Secret Bible.

- The second season of Michael Feinstein’s American Songbook premieres tonight (check your local PBS station for times) where Michael will be heading to the Playboy Mansion to check out Hef’s vintage Wurlitzer jukebox in the game house.

- Also premiering tonight on public television is the fourth season of Artist Den starting tonight with the queen of 2011 Adele. Also showing up this season will be Kid Rock, Death Cab for Cutie, Amos Lee, The Fray, as well as Iron and Wine.

- We have been debating Patriots and Giants all week, but there is something all football fans can agree on, Madonna as a halftime show is going to suck massively. Luckily 30 Rock’s Jack Donaghy is trying to piece together a replacement and has recruited Childish Gambino (aka Community’s Troy) to rap over the Knight Rider Theme which is certainly better that watch some fifty year old pretend she is still twenty.



- Also performing television theme songs at Donaghy’s Half time show are Cee-Lo Green (BJ and the Bear), Michael McDonald (Saved by the Bell) and Ryan Adams performing Breathe, the theme to Passions. No, seriously.

- What better way to start off your Super Bowl Sunday that with some cheerleaders? Starting at 9:00 AM ABC Family is airing its Bring it On a Thon airing all five films and for those that need something else to watch once the big game starts, the network will be airing Mama Mia at 7:00 and Dirty Dancing at 9:30.

- Chronicle starring Michael B Jordan (aka Friday Night Light’s Vince Howard) hits theaters tonight and they recently asked the internets what they would do if they had telekinesis and here is what YouTube celebrity DeStorm along with MysteryGuitarMan responded:



- With the world (possibly) ending later this year, what better time than now for a television show about how to survive the apocalypse? Doomsday Preppers premieres with back to back episodes this Tuesday at 9:00 and 10:00 and will go inside America’s prepping subculture, uncovering a wide assortment of prepping styles and approaches, meeting preppers on their own turf, examining their methods and tracking their progress as they think through every logistic and contingency plan.

- A television show called Masters of Sex starring Lizzy Caplin (Party Down)? Yes please. The pilot for the show will begin filming in March for Showtime (double yes) and will also star Martin Sheen (Frost/Nixon) as the duo will star as human sexuality pioneers William Masters and Virginia Johnson set in the 60’s (seriously, skip the pilot and just greenlight it right now).

- In other Showtime news, the network just announced renewals of current chows Shameless, House of Lies and Californication for their third, second, and sixth seasons respectively.

- In other renewal and pick up news, ABC Family is bringing back The Secret Life of the American Teenager for a record fifth season which will put it over the 100 episode mark. It has also greenlighted new comedy series Baby Daddy, its highest ever tested comedy pilot ever and will also dip into the reality world with Beverly Hills Nannies about, well the title says it all. Tori Spelling and Tia Mowry have also been cast in their latest 25 Days of Christmas original movie The Mistle-Tones.

- If you missed the premiere of Key and Peele this week, here is a sketch you missed. And look out for a new episode Wednesday at 10:30 on Comedy Central.



- If your Valentine is a big HBO fan and you still have to figure out a gift with eleven days and counting, head over to HBO Shop for special holiday shirts from your favorite shows including True Blood, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiam, Eastbound and Down and Sex and the City.

- Also celebrating the holiday is Cesar Milan with his special Valentine’s Day episode of The Dog Whisperer next Saturday (2/11) which is also his 150th episode. And what better way to celebrate the milestone than with a cake. And if you bake Cesar a cake, you can share the photo to Instagram with the tags #natgeowild and #happy100. One lucky baker will actually receive a call from Cesar himself.

- Appropriately premiering on President’s Day is Jefferson’s Secret Bible at 8:00 on Smithsonian Channel. The special looks at the hand created book that the former president edited himself keeping the sections he believed were the true teachings of Jesus cutting out the parts of the four gospels that dealt with angles, miracles and resurrection.

I Heard You Like the Bad Girls, Honey Is That True?

If there are two things the internet do really well is build things up and tear them down; usually in successive order of the same thing. And possibly the thing that got hyped more and destroyed harder on the internet at the fastest rate was Lana Del Rey. Everyone online was quick to jump on the weird retro do it yourself music video for Video Games where Del Rey glamed it up while her husky voice provided the soundtrack. Personally I thought she sounded like a boring version of Amy Winehouse so I did not give her much attention. Then she appeared as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

And nearly broke the internet in the process with her drugged out performance, complete with trembling voice and weird ticks. Was it the single worst performance ever in the history of the late night show? Of course not, it is not as if acid reflux made her do a jig while her band played the wrong backing track. But the backlash was on. It did not help she went from the grainy footage of Video Games and followed it up with the very glossy video for Born to Die which saw her shining in some grand cathedral flanked by a pair of tiger. And some of the attacks were just silly like her changing her name from Lizzy Grant at the same time Ziggy Stardust was on the cover of the Rolling Stone thirty years later (and even David Bowie still is not his real name). Or how she went from white trash persona to Hollywood chic or that it turns out she comes from the one percent. (Though I am not entirely convinces that Lizzy Grant is not also a persona and she is really just teen pop star JoJo all grown up because they look strikingly similar).

Personally I could care less about all that stuff as long as the music is listenable. Unfortunately Born to Die is not. It is striking how amateurish Del Rey sounds thought the disk. She wildly goes from note to note, octave to octave without any sense of cohesiveness nor does it sounds like she cares, one of those too cool for school types, and the lyrics seem as carelessly written. It is never a good sign when you are listening to a song and it makes you think of the musical episode of Community where Annie Edison tries to woo Jeff in a pseudo Santa Baby type song. But that is exactly where my mind went when I heard Off to the Races where Del Rey cooed the exact same way as Annie in the chorus expect when Annie sang, it was intentionally over the top sexualize for comedic effect. Del Rey, unless she is trying to pull the biggest prank in musical history, is singing with a straight face. Seriously, “Kiss me on my open mouth” may be the least sexy line ever song that was supposed to be romantic.

The cooing goes way over the top for National Anthem, which I am not entirely sure what is supposed to be a metaphor for, and I am not sure I want to find out. The song is the musical version of the drunken chick at the party who tries to make out with you even though her breathe reeks of a mixture of alcohol, cigarette butts, and puck; it is really the ultimate anti-aphrodisiac. Ladies, if you put on Let's Get It On when you want to, well, get it on, Born to Die is what you should play if you want to make sure your boyfriend gets the hint that tonight is a hair up, sweatpants kind of night. Unless of course you are dating a semi-ironic hipster because I have a feeling those are the only people who would enjoy Born to Die. Of course if that is the case, you have more to worry about than listening to Born to Die in its entirety.

Song to Download – Blue Jeans

Born to Die gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Your Purple Prose Just Give You Away

A couple months ago VH1 unveiled their list of the 40 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s and I kept getting more and more agitated watching it with every passing entry because 90% of the list did not deserve being on the list because they were too obscure, sucked massively, and most egregious were those song that should not even be considered one hit wonders. Seriously, if I were ever to create a list of the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s (Spoiler Alert: hypothetically if I were to do so, I would post my list next Monday) I would venture to say only 15 of their 40 would make my top 100. 15 would actually be the same about that I would argue are not even legitimate one hit wonders that VH1 had on their list.

One of the additions to VH1’s list that made me the angriest was the inclusion of EMF who released quite possibly the greatest rock dance album ever in the history of recorded time with Schubert Dip, this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. It is a shame that VH1 completely forget about Lies which was a legitimate hit or smaller hits like I Believe and Children. Sure, if there was such a thing, EMF could be considered One Album Wonders with Schubert Dip, but One Hit Wonders they are not.

Sure Unbelievable is clearly EMF’s biggest hit and deservedly so as it is one of the best songs from the decade period. It demanded your attention from the first “Oooh” and heavy use of cowbell and managed to either be the first rock song to get massive play in the clubs or the first dance song that truly rocked. The song also famously helped Andrew Dice Clay get back on MTV after getting banned a couple years earlier by sampling the raunchy comedian heavily in the song.

But with Schubert Dip, EMF showed they were no one trick pony. Children rocked with the same intensity as Unbelievable exchanging Andrew Dice Claw with police sirens. In fact other tracks like Long Summer Days, When You’re Mine, and I Believe could still keep house parties moving today and may bery well have paved way for the rock tinged techno music of the late nineties with acts like The Prodigy and The Chemical Brothers. Lies showed the band could switch gears into the more serious but still made the song danceable to that part of the fan base. It would be hard-pressed to find anyone who has listened to Schubert Dip all the way through that would call EMF a one hit wonder. Just do not ask me why a sample of Bert and Ernie opened up Girl of an Age.