Quote of the Week: If straight guys weren't so insensitive we wouldn't be left to clean up the pieces. (Deputy Leo, Greek)
Big New of the Week: RIP TRL: The music industry likes to blame illegal downloads and insiders say that the internet, video games, and DVD's have cut into the disposable income of music buying, but Total Request Live doesn't get enough credit for killing off the music industry. The show started modestly with band like Dave Matthews Band regularly appearing on the countdown. That was until the obsessive fans got involved. And by obsessive I mean teenagers who had nothing better to do with their time but sit in their bedrooms and vote for the latest Backstreet Boys video. Record executives caught on and spent most of their time and money catering to fans of the show and undoubtedly had interns themselves voting hoping to break new artist instead of actually cultivating fans the old fashion way of touring and actually play good music. Puddle of Mudd was even banned from the show for bribing people to vote for their videos. Thus the music industry only focused on acts that could get voted on the show and music that would appeal to anyone over twenty would not get any marketing push unless they were already a known commodity. That is when the music industry lost generations of previous loyal music fans who began content with filling their iPod's with golden oldies never to turn on the radio to be force fed the crap they tried to sell as music over the past decade. And soon an unwatchable show got even worse when they began only playing thirty second snippets for the videos. So goodbye TRL, you won't be missed.
Coalition Links of the Week: Buzz wondered which TV shows made you feel the most emotionally attached. (BuzzSugar)
Marcia was thrilled to introduce a Pop Vultures spin-off site, The Spelling Bee, which is dedicated to the best of guilty pleasure TV. (Pop Vultures)
Vance makes a few casting suggestions for "Ryan" on Brothers & Sisters and has a slew of promotional and sneak peak photos from the new season. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace took an advance look at the first three episodes of Season Two of NBC's action comedy Chuck and loved every single second. (Televisionary)
Get it in gear LC, Spencer, Audrina and the rest of you guys on The Hills. At some point you're going to have to admit that you're on television for a living. No one is fooled. (TiFaux)
The TV Addict offers up five easy steps to fix Saturday Night Live. (The TV Addict)
Kate watched this week's episode of Gossip Girl with a drink and a candle. (TV Filter)
I Love Money: Poor Entertainer, first he has to stoop so low as to suck New York toes then he loses only because he cannot hold onto a poll. Big surprise at the vote off with Brandi C. quitting and there still being another elimination. Although everyone but one person is shown in the promo for next week so it is pretty easy to tell who gets voted in and voted out. Stupid promo moneys.
Greek: Two gay homosexuals doing the how I know you're gay bit: hilarious. Only funnier if they would have done that with a straight dude. But anyways. I am not sure how I feel about Casey hooking up with the RA. I still think it would have been better off if she stayed single for the rest of the semester. And I really hope Dale spills his heart out to Casey one of these days. You can download episodes of Greek on iTunes.
Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Island: How did I forget to talk about the premiere last week? So this time around they have some Survivor-light living quarters and no teams, but they still are voting people off. Two episodes in and I still don't quite understand the rules. When do they start building the boats? Shouldn't the people with keys start on that? And there is nothing more annoying in these reality show when people just quit. And just because Abram asked to be voted off doesn't make him that much noble than the other dude.
Free Download of the Week: NBC continues with their free stuff on iTunes with pre-airing episodes of Lipstick Jungle and the updated Knight Rider.
Promo of the Week:Two new CBS shows premiere this week, The Mentalist on Tuesday at 9:00 and My Worst Week on Monday at 9:30 and I have your first look at the two freshmen series. Unless of course you have seen this somewhere else making this your second look.
Pick for Next Week: Survivor: Gabon, Thursday at 8:00 on CBS: The granddaddy of reality shows is finally coming to HD with a two hour premiere. Well at least for you that have an HDTV. I will be sure to pick one up myself as soon as the government bails me out of my rising debt. Although come to think of it, maybe I should add said HDTV to my debt before they bail me out with the HDTV as part of the bailout.
A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Frank TV, Whatever, Martha, Kimberly Elise, Cuba Gooding Jr. and The Hill. No seriously, I am actually going to talk about The Hills.
- Thne baseball playoff are around the corner and you know what that means: an absurb amount of ads for Frank TV. And just in time for the elections Frank Caliendo ia taking on both canidates.
McCain
Obama
- Finally someone is putting Martha Stewart in her place and that person just happens to be her daughter Alexis (who knew Martha ever procreated?). The new show Whatever, Martha premiered last Tuesday at 9:00 on Fine Living Network (whatever that is) and here is a look at the show:
- Kimberly Elise has joined Cuba Gooding Jr. for the latest TNT orginal movie Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story about world-renowned pediatric neurosurgeon who pulled himself out of the inner-city. No release date yet.
- Also in the TNT pipeline is a new show staring Jada Pinkett Smith called Time Heals. Smith stars a nurse nd single mother. The show is created by someone that had to do with St. Elsewhere and being produced by someone from My Boys. No timeline for when or if this will hit the small screen.
- One last TNT news, the network announced this week that they were renewing both Saving Grace and Raising the Bar.
- I am not sure what it is about the 9th Green that say, "Please send me information about The Hills" but I was actually sent information on the show. Apparently LC and Audrina were recently caught dancing onstage with Epic Records band The White Tie Affair, whose showcase just happened to be featured on last wwek's episode. You can find the picture here. Yes, completely spontanious dancing I persume. Oddly enough, I suddently have to urge to out gay celebrities and post pictures of Britney Spears without her lady garments on.
Yesterday I mad a run down of the music that will fill the fall air this season but today I turn inside to the television that will put me firmly into my couch as the leaves turn colors. Well some of these shows are on a short leach like Gary Unmarried. But no shorter leash than on Heroes which was abysmal last season and the first season was not much better. It does not bodes well that last season I found myself switching over to I Love New York because I was so bored with Heroes. But anyways. Here is what I will be watching, and for the most part, enjoying and their start dates:
Then for the midseason, I will be looking out for Lost, The Goode Family, Cupid and the NBC showing of Friday Night Lights. And specials like Hip Hop Honors on October 7 featuring Cypress Hill, De La Soul, Naughty By Nature, Slick Rick, and Too $hort. And of course the debates between John McCain and Barack Obama on September 26, October 7, and October 15 with Sarah Palin and Joe Biden going at it on October 2. I will also be trying to catch up on the second seasons of Dexter and Big Love as well as the third season of Weeds on DVD.
To say the summer for music was bad would be an understatement. Between Coldplay and Metallica which was released this past weekend, there were no releases to get excited about unless you were a fourteen year old girl (horary Jonas Brothers). Need more proof, check out Tapeworthy’s list of the Best Songs of the Summer. Yeah, sad (but where was I’m Yours?). And fall got a little less anticipated with the recent announcement that U2 has pushed No Line on the Horizon back to 2009. But here is a list of the albums you can plan to give to loved ones for Christmas this year (dates subject to change; click the album name for Amazon pre-order and the artist name to check out them on iTunes). If I left off your favorite artist, let me know in the comments and I will add it later:
You may also expect new albums from, Michelle Branch, Rhymefest, Fabolous, Goo Goo Dolls, Eminem, R. Kelly, Franz Ferdinand, and The Fray. Being Christmas season there is your usual Greatest Hits packages from Bob Dylan, Sarah McLauglin, Christina Aguilera, Switchfoot, Celine Dion, Hilary Duff, Bette Midler, and Tim. McGraw. Then actual Christmas albums from Faith Hill, Tony Bennett, Harry Connick Jr., Elvis Pressley, Kristin Chenoweth, Chris Isaak, Al Jarreau, and The Wiggles.
Then the battle of long delayed album is heating up again between Dr. Dre and Guns ‘n’ Roses. A tie in with Detox for Dr. Dre’s own cognac is scheduled to roll out this fall but no date for that or the album. While on the Chinese Democracy front, one track will be featured on the latest Rock Band game but no set date for the whole album. But cross your fingers because if it does come out this year, Dr. Pepper will give everyone in America a free can.
There has been a lot a talk ever since the end of the conventions that the election has taken a negative turn, which is has, but compared to past campaigns this one had been relatively tame. C'mon, Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton over the governor race of New York. Yeah Barack Obama likes to play the victim card, but scanning fact check organization like fackcheck.org and politifact.com, he has given his fair share of half truths, barely truths, and complete falsehoods. But that is how political campaigns have been ran since the first election. To the people that said this campaign had gotten dirty I respond at least there hasn’t been anything as low as the Swift Boat for Truth. That was until this weekend.
Senator Clair McCaskill of Missouri , and Obama campaign co-chair was on This Week with George Stephanopoulos and had this to say in regards to Sarah Palin:
“(I am) uncomfortable with anyone, regardless of gender, that is going to be vice president to one of the oldest presidents we've ever had, that has never met a world leader.”
Yeah, some ageism, but nothing he haven’t heard before. What happened yet is when Senator Clair McCaskill hit an all time low in politics during my life time. George called McCaskill out on the ageism charge and gave her a chance to back off, but not only did she not back off, she went further:
“I think what we’re talking about is a reality. Other people talk about his melanoma. We’re talking about a reality here that we have to face.”
How dare you, Clair McCaskill suggested that a cancer survivor is unfit to be president. Today we face such statistics that half of men will be diagnosed with some sort of cancer while woman have a on in three chance. Are you are suggesting that these people should just give up and die? You are insulting all the cancer survivors out there, all the people currently fighting the disease and disgracing everyone who lost their lives to the horrible disease. And you insult people like me who spent eight years of their lives who were the sole care giver of a two time cancer survivor. Did I just waste eight years of my life?
Obviously you have never sat their, watching a love one lose their hair, and only get out of bed to puke, and that is if they actually make to the bathroom, otherwise you would have to clean it out of the carpet while trying to get them to stop apologizing for doing so. But eventually the nausea subsides and some, if not all of the hair grows back, and they finally make it outside and they should be applauded that they beat the disease not demeaned.
Luckily you, senator McCaskill, were not there when Lance Armstrong was battling the disease because with your negativity he may not have gone on to win seven straight Tour de France titles. Maybe Jon Lester would have never thrown a no hitter had he took your advice. Do you even suggest Ted Kennedy should step down from his senate seat to focus on sitting around doing nothing?
Clair McCaskill, you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting such a vile thing. Missouri, you should be ashamed that you elected someone who says such insulting things. Barack Obama, you should be ashamed to have such a horrible person as you campaign co-chair. Add this to you already bad track record when it comes to cancer issues as you would rather give a speech to a bunch of German than to attend the LiveStrong forum on cancer. You should be ashamed of such a blatant disregard of cancer survivor, people living with cancer, those that have died and thier caregivers.
Fifty years ago Billboard introduced a new chart to see what songs fans were purchasing the most. I have cherry pitched fifty songs from that list that are on my iPod for the next two lyric quizzes. As always you need to put both artist and title in the comments section (or you can e-mail me) and if you are correct I will un-bold it and give you credit. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers (that mean no searching for the list to help you). Now onto the quiz:
1. Take me by my little hand and go like this. 2. Man it's a hot one like seven inches from the midday sun. (Smooth - Santana and Rob Thomas; guessed by Taylor Blue) 3. I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie. There's nothing left to talk about unless it's horizontally. (Physical - Olivia Newton-John; guessed by Angie) 4. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart then you can start to make it better. (Hey Jude - The Beatles; guessed by Angie) 5. I need your arms to hold me now. The nights are so unkind. Bring back those nights I held you beside me. (Un-break My Heart - Toni Braxton; guessed by Rebekah) 6. I gotta keep it real now cause on a one to ten she's a certified twenty. But that's just ain't me. (Yeah! - Usher; guessed by Angie) 7. Her hair is Harlow gold, her lips are sweet surprised. Her hands are never cold. (Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carmes; guessed by Angie) 8. You're every breathe I take, you're every step I take. (Endless Love - Diana Ross and Lionel Richie; guessed by Rebekah) 9. Don't say a word my virgin child. Just let your inhibitions run wild. (Tonight's the Night - Rod Stewart; guessed by Angie) 10. You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair. You were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care. (Foolish Games - Jewel; guessed by Angie) 11. There's no love like your love, and no other could give more love. There's nowhere unless you're there. All the time all the way . ((Everything I Do) I Do it for You - Bryan Adams; guessed by Angie) 12. Pour the wine, light the fire. Girl your wish is my command. I submit to your demands. I will do anything, girl you need only ask. (I'll Make Love to You - Boyz II Men; guessed by Taylor Blue) 13. Rising up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances. (Eye of the Tiger - Survivor; guessed by Angie) 14. Since you been gone I've been lost without a trace. I dream at night I can only see your face. (Every Breathe You Take - The Police; guessed by Angie) 15. All alone I have cried. Silent tears full of pride. In a world made of steel, made of stone. (Flashdance - What a Feeling; guessed by Angie) 16. And I know you're shining down on me from heaven like so many friends we lost along the way. (One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men; guessed by Angie) 17. There's nothing wrong with me lovin' you. And giving yourself to me is nothing wrong if the love is true. (Let's Get it On - Marvin Gaye; guessed by Rebekah) 18. Are you happy, are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat. (Another One Bites the Dust - Queen; guessed by Angie) 19. You never worry, and you never shed a tear. You saying that my love ain't real, just look at my face, these tears ain't drying. (Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson; guessed by Rebekah) 20. These five words in my head, "Are we having fun yet?" (How You Remind Me - Nickelback; guessed by Taylor Blue) 21. Goodbye England's Rose. (Candle in the Wind - Elton John; guessed by Angie) 22. You and me together through the days and nights. I don't worry cause every thing's gonna be alright. (No One - Alicia Keys; guessed by Rebekah) 23. Music loud and women walk. I've been kicked around since I been born. 24. I'm your knight in shining armour and I love. You have made me what I am and I am yours. (Lady - Kenny Rodgers; guessed by Angie) 25. Love was out to get me, that is what it seemed. Disappointment haunted all my dreams. Then I saw her face. (I'm a Believer - The Monkees; guessed by Angie)
Allow me to introduce the latest in the line of post Lilith Fair songstress, Sonya Kitchell. She is you token coffee house singer songwriter that would populate the second stage for the touring concert. In fact This Storm sound like a more polished version of Pieces of You. So everything you here on the nineteen year old major label debut you most likely heard before.
That is not to say there isn’t anything listenable on This Storm, but the album comes off like a Jewel album but without any really catchy songs to latch onto. Plus the songwriting is suspect at times like when she tries to rhyme “less” with “effortless.” And the passion seems to be lacking throughout the album like on Fire that should have more fire in her voice than she actually provides.
That fire does show up at time like on the album opener For Every Drop where she just lets loose on her crush to just give in. Soldier’s Lament is a sweeping song seen through the eyes of one. And Borderline (not a Madonna cover) is a minor key romp that flips into a happier sounding song. But do not consider any of these songs worthy of radio play.
Quote of the Week: It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut. (Jordin Sparks, MTV Video Music Awards)
Big New of the Week: NBC Back on iTunes: It was almost exactly a year ago when NBC Universal decided not to renew their contract that ended at the end of 2007 with iTunes. I predicted that it would get ironed out by the end of the year but maybe the strike put off those talk. But not only is NBC coming back in style as iTunes is now offering their shows in HD, for an extra dollar of course. Although classic episodes are available for $0.99. You will have to scroll down a little to see if NBC is offering anything for free to mark their return. Even though no free episodes, Friday Night Lights also reappeared even though it does not appear on the NBC page or even the Universal Studios page (there is no DirecTV page). And only the first season is currently available.
Coalition Links of the Week: What was in the water during 2004-05? Buzz salutes the TV season that brought us Lost, House, and Grey's Anatomy. (BuzzSugar)
To celebrate the season (and series) premieres of Gossip Girl and Privileged, we're giving away several copies of the books that started these shows. (RTVW)
Vance is excited that So You Think You Can Dance Canada has finally started AND starts off in his hometown of Toronto where apparently, Canadians really CAN dance! (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace interviewed The Office's Amy Ryan and Paul Lieberstein and gave five reasons why he loved the latest episode of Mad Men. (Televisionary)
TiFaux got a slew of new contributors this week! To start off her blogging reign at TiFaux, Marisa did a critical analysis comparing Lost and Fringe, discussing the appearance of crazy animals and mad scientists. (TiFaux)
This week, theTVaddict.com put forth our theory as to who Kelly Taylor's Baby Daddy is! (The TV Addict)
Raoul got all the dirt on the new season of The Sarah Connor Chronicles straight from Lena Headey and exec producer Josh Friedman. (TV Filter)
Greek: Yeah, the whole counting cards thing was a stretch, even with two decks you are not going to get a good hand in a short amount of time to get big winners and certainly in a one hand playoff counting cards isn’t going to work. But it was nice seeing Casey in the bob. And is she really going to go after the RA? You can download episodes of Greek on iTunes.
ABC World News with Charles Gibson: Well that was anticlimactic. The interview wasn’t the home run Sarah Palin cheerleaders wanted not was it the disaster the haters hoped for. The interview itself was a little short and Gibson tried too many “gotcha questions” like the Bush Doctrine. Even Gibson seemed rattled when Palin asked in what respects. Count me as one of the 70% that thinks that semi-automatic riffles should be banned. (Scooter Update: MSNBC posted an article, the Many Versions of 'Bush Doctrine', claiming their are up to seven different versions.)
Free Downloads of the Week: Basically the season premiere from all of NBC’s returning shows of last season is currently free in HD and regular definition including:
Pick for Next Week: The Big Bang Theory, Monday at 8:00 on CBS: Slim Pickens a week before the new fall season launches so you can take the time to watch (or re-watch) the season finale of the funniest sitcom of last season where we learn such things as Schrodinger's Cat.
One of the greatest shows currently is Pardon the Interruption and I have shamelessly steal paid tribute to the show multiple time on the 9th Green and I am going to go to the well once again with a new running post. For those that have seen the show they have a segment called Oddsmakers which the name I have already used for something else so I went with Playing the Percentages which Statboy even admits is a more appropriate name. The kind people over at TV on the Brain will be my archenemies for this game. We will be need our own personal Statboy so if you have a question (any subject like TV, music, movies, or politics welcome) for us to talk about feel free to e-mail me that. And if you want to play the home game, just drop your thoughts in the comments. Now let gets to the game where I will be playing the role of Bernard Pollard and Jo playing the role of Tom Brady.
What are the chances Tina Fey makes an appearance on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live this week?
Scooter: 70%, in a story I broke last week, Sarah Palin is a dead ringer for Tina Fey and since Palin has been the biggest story of the late summer, they will be parodying her and it is safe to assume she is the cold open. I am not guaranteeing that Fey shows up because there might be scheduling conflicts and I actually have Palin herself making an appearance in person at 25%.
Jo: I'm gonna pull a Kornheiser and say 85%! Lorne Michaels would be nuts not to at least ask Tina Fey. Who else is going to play Palin? Kristen Wiig already does most of the journalists, including Campbell Brown. And you can't use Amy Poehler b/c we need some reaction Hilary shots for good measure.
What are the chances that either 90210 or Knight Rider last longer than the originals?
Scooter: A little background first, 90210 lasted ten season while Knight Rider lasted four. With that said, there is no chance 90210 lasts a decade, in fact I only have The CW lasting that long at 40%, so this rests on the hopes of Knight Rider which haves a 10% chance and that only hinges if Ford continues to pony up for their one hour commercial for their brand and if the rating bomb as they are likely, I wouldn't be surprised if the show gets sold into syndication.
Jo: There's a 100% chance that both of these remakes are signs of an impending apocalypse. That or just the end of original ideas in America. 90210 and Knight Rider have a 25% of getting renewed after this year.
What are the chances Opportunities Knocks is the first fall show to be canceled?
Scooter: This is brought up because this had the lowest rating for Hey Nielsen's Fall Preview (which I participated in) at 1.8. And I agree that it will be totally unwatchable to me, and if I am not mistaken Fear Factor did the whole go to people's houses before it finally ended, but I am not a target audience and families could keep this show on air so I give it 2%. As for the show that has the most chance of getting the ax first, I have Do Not Disturb first on that list.
Jo: Is Opportunity Knocks a reality show? All it needs is a regular tearjerker feature about some family's sick parakeet and it'll have a 75% chance of staying on the air.
A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dirty Sexy Money, Raising the Bar, TV Guide, Dancing with the Stars, ION, Crash, Oprah, and Keith Olbermann.
- For those that watch Dirty Sexy Money you will want to check out Tripp Darling’s latest venture into luxury real estate, Darling Tower.
- I do not think I read a review of Raising the Bar that did not focus on the mane of Zack Morris, myself included. It looks like TNT took notice and created an interactive game that lets you change his hair-style to your heart's content. Head over to TNT.com to play.
- For those gearing up for the new fall season, head over to TV Guide.com for extensive coverage of over 113 new and returning shows, with recaps, previews, and editors’ picks as well as original videos, unique photo galleries, and four detailed ways for fans to plan their TV watching schedules.
- While at TV Guide you can find exclusive videos including Dancing with the Stars Olympian Misty May Treanor.
- The Bill Engvall Show was surpisingly entertaining and fans should be happy to learn that it has been renewed for a third season. And be on the lookout for two special episodes of the show this December just in time for the holidays.
- For those that have the ION channel, it should be noted that their new season starts up with featuring favorites Boston Legal, ER, and NCIS.
- Crash, which I called the worst movie ever in the history of the world is for some reason being turned into a television show for Starz. Here is a widget for the show that premieres Friday, October 17, 2008 at 10 p.m.
- This Friday, Tatum O'Neil gives her first interview since her drug bust with Oprah. You will hear Tatum admit, “There’s no good way to talk about what happened to me.” She adds, “I felt hopeless” and tells Oprah, “I was certainly trying to relapse.” While on Thursday the Big O goes into Why Men Cheat with author Gary Neuman. A preview: because she will do things you will not.
- A couple days ago I chided the media for spending two days debating whether or not they were bias and the unprofessionalism over at MSNBC during the conventions. Apparently someone over at the network read that post and demoted Keith Olbermann a couple days later and I added a couple thoughts about it on the bottom of the post. Check out Morons, You are the Press.
Everyone seems to be going country these days, Jewel, Michelle Branch, the dude from Hootie and the Blowfish and even Snoop Dogg hooked with Willie Nelson for a country song. Jessica Simpson being one not to ever set trends has followed suits with adding an occasional fiddle to her songs and submitting it to country radio stations.
The result is Do You Know that leans heavy on emotional ballads with the occasional upbeat song with its token banjo like first single Come on Over. The overall sound seems like Carrie Underwood light with Simpson leaning closer to the easy listening side of the musical spectrum than Underwood does (any patron of gossip rags should find the irony of Simpson once again following in the footsteps of Underwood).
Country fans already weary of Simpson just from judging her first single probably not be converted from the rest of Do You Know as it is the most “country” song on the album along with Still Beautiful. Those two are only topped by the title track that was written by and features Dolly Parton. And these two are a natural pairing Simpson could play Parton in a bio-pic. Well, assuming the casting diroctor on the film isn’y looking for someone that can act to play Parton.
The biggest problem is that most of the songs written for the album are just your run of the mill pop songs that Simpson tries to add some twang to. Country music has a long tradition of storytelling, but all these songs are the same cliche love songs that peppered Simpson’s previous albums. She didn’t even bother to put in a blatant “my dog left me, my wife left me and all I have left is beer to keep me company” tongue and cheek country song. Maybe try New Wave next Jessica because this country thing just isn’t working out.
What the frak happened to the Video Music Awards? Once the bastion of everything cool has turned into the most unwatchable thing on television. Even in the lean years, they were still able to line up legitimate stars. As much as I complained about last year’s show it still featured Kanye West, Alicia Keys, Linkin Park and Foo Fighters. This year is packed with groups that in past years would not have the resume to land them an opening show spot. Really only Kid Rock has actually sold multimillion albums. Seriously, who the frak is Tokyo Hotel? Danity Kane? Yeah, there was no blatant synergy there at all. MTV obviously knew the star power equaled that of your local public access begging to get Christina Aguilara and Kanye West to perform at the last minute pulling Kanye out of his MTV ban a year after promising never to go on the show again.
And it isn’t just the performers that were low star wattage because, the people handing out the moonmen were pretty sad too: Miley Cyrus, the cast of High School Music, the dude from Gossip Girl? You know what the VMA’s have turned into: the Teen Choice Awards. This may be my swan song for the VMA because they have decided that anyone older than fifteen and with male parts could possibly enjoy anything this crap. Here are other complaints with this year’s show:
- Instead of any music in the pre-show we get random people dancing. Um, yeah, okay. I guess that makes sense because all the pre-show quality artists were sadly invited to play on the big show. Yeah, that was the most worthless pre-show ever.
- Ooo, a new Survivor-style version of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Can’t wait. One thing I can wait for: another Paris Hilton reality show.
- Who invited Kobe Bryant? Aren’t there too many teenage white girls around for him to be invited to? If you invite Kobe Bryant, shouldn’t you invite Chris Hansen too?
- “Better luck next year T-Pain, if you’re still relevant,” I not sure who the dude who said that, but no truer words were spoken tonight. I bet less than half the people this year won’t warrant an invite next year.
- Britney Spears opening the VMA’s again. Yawn. Have we not learned from Crossroads that she cannot act.
- Wow, the place where the VMA’s took place looked about the size of the TRL set. This is really sad. The economy is really as bad as they say it is.
- I really dislike that Disturbia song, it is an obvious attempt at trying to recreate Thriller but it is no where near as catchy. But I did like the Seven Nation Army interlude. And can we keep the clippers away from Rihanna. It is like ever single she releases she cuts off even more hair.
- Congratulation Russell Brand, you went from hilarious to humongous tool even faster than Dane Cook. I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from a guy who dressed up like Osama bin Ladin the day after 9/11. If you can get on your knees to get Kanye West back, why can’t you do the same for Chris Rock?
- DJ AM and Travis Barker are the house band? Really? Since when is dating reality stars make you relevant?
- For those lucky enough to avoid the Jonas Brother phenomenon, they are basically Hanson but without legitimately catchy songs. That in no insult to Hanson who actually play all the instruments themselves when they play live.
- Luckily we only have to put with ten seconds of Katy Perry singing.
- Yeah, the Michael Phelps hosted Saturday Night Live isn’t going to be any good.
- Why invite Lil’ Wayne to perform if you are just going to censor every third word out of his mouth? Then you have T-Pain who didn’t bother to lip-sync half his performance.
- Did Lindsay Lohan said she had a dance off with AC/DC. When did this happen? Was Angus wearing his kilt? And is it on YouTube? And wasn’t Fannie Pack the people that did that horrible Camel Toe song from a few years ago.
- Wow, Russell Brand just got put on blast by Jordin Sparks. You go girl.
- Was T.I. just rapping over his song playing on the CD player? That’s some eighth grade talent show stuff.
- Add to my who are these guys list: Josh and Drake.
- I guess it is apropos that Brittany would win three awards at the biggest train wreck of the year.
- Kanye, don’t sing ever again. Ever.
- So there is another VMA, no big surprises and we are stuck at the watercooler again for the forth year in a row with nothing to talk about except about how bad it was.
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![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my 
![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my