I Won't Walk the Line

Much like today where you wouldn’t see me in front of the television watching rivalry week (scroll down to read why), one movie you will not be seeing me this at weekend is Walk the Line. Granted you won’t see me at the Harry Potter movie due to the fact I’ve been through puberty, but that a whole different subject. The reason why I will pass on Walk the Line is not because I don’t like Johnny Cash, I quite a few of his albums and one of the few respectable country artist in the genre because he doesn’t insult the intelligent of his audience. The reason why I will pass on the film is because, much like last year’s Ray, why would I want to watch a fabricated bio-flick when I can just spend the time listening to the music.

My ban on the bio-flick goes back a couple years when I heard Will Smith would be playing the title character in Ali. Seriously, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as a boxer. And why did Ali even need a bio-flick when you could just watch the documentary When We Were Kings instead? And these bio-flicks take way to many liberties just to make the movies more feel good most notably The Hurricane with Denzel Washington who made the Rubin Carter look like a much better fighter than he actually was. Walk the Line looks like it won’t be an exception. A child Cash had with his first wife complained that the film made her mom look like a villain to the point where Kathy Cash walked out of a private screening.

Another problem I have with the bio-flick is how they are almost automatically Oscar worthy for the actors with both Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon getting the buzz that always surround such film and led the dude from Booty Call to win Best Actor last year. But the thing is that portraying a real person is much easier than creating a completely new character that no one knows. So a bio-flick actor winning an Oscar is essentially like an Olympic diver winning the gold even though he did dives at the lowest difficulty. But when it comes down to it, when I look at the trailer to Walk the Line, I don’t see Johnny & June, I only see Joaquin and Reese. So instead of heading down to the multiplex this weekend, I’ll instead put on The American Recordings and wonder what it would be like to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Are You Ready for Some Football... Um, Not Really

Tomorrow is rivalry week in college football so you can catch me glued... well, in bed. Even being stuck in between the biggest rivalry in college football, Ohio State-Michigan, I could care less. Maybe it’s because I went to a college that culminated just a couple more wins while I was there than the amount of years I attended. I remember back to freshman orientation where the school President said that if we won a game, we had her full permission to tear down the goal post. So we hauled down to Dix Stadium (seriously, that’s the name) every other week. Of course did not win one home game that season and for subsequence years we learned it was the tradition to leave the game at half time.

But I am a die hard Golden Flash so, unlike many turncoats in my state, I can not cheer for any other team. If you like Ohio State so much, why did you not go there, they do have a 100% acceptance rate so it’s not like you would have been turned down. Then there is the entirely different type of group, the type that root for Ohio State even though they dropped out of high school. So I’ll be sleeping most of the weekend because I would sooner watch women’s golf before college football, just make sure you wake me up in time for me to fill out my March Madness brackets.

Although there was one college football story that has caught my eye this year and that is the fledgling rap troupe down at Miami. Unfortunately I have not gotten my hands on a copy of the debut single from Seventh Floor Crew (send it along if you do know where I can find it) but I heard that there is an F-bomb about ever fifth word and routinely talk in French and refer to gardening tools. The song has ruffled the feathers of blowhards everywhere because they are up in arm. Apparently these people haven’t been in a boys’ dorm in the last decade, by what I hear is on the song is what is talked about in every college dorm and locker room across the land. If you want to get mad at someone, rip on 50 Cent because he says the exact same thing except he get paid for it and that’s who these kids, and kids much young than them, emulate these days.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 6

It’s head to head time again with the Veronica Mars once again trying to play David to Lost’s Goliath. Last week was a squash with Lost producing one of the worst episodes in the history of television. So how does Lost rebound, by going back to what drew everyone into the show in the first place, having a plane crash on a deserted island. Although this time threw the eyes of the people in the back of the plane. And all the episode seemed to accomplish was to poke more holes into many of the plot points already established.

My biggest complaint is with the Others or Them as the tailies refer to the group of unknowns. In the last couple episodes the tailies made Them out to be some unstoppable beast with Ana Lucia going as far as to say one bullet wouldn’t be enough to stop Them. But as we saw last night Shaft was able to kill two of them with his bare hands and Ana Lucia herself took out one of Them quite easily. There was nothing that happened last night the hinted that Them were as scary as the Tailies made Them out to be to the point where Ana Lucia would shoot first and ask questions later.

Then there was Ana Lucia’s whole confrontation with Goodwin. After forty-eight day she is just now realizing the he was with Them? And if her big argument was that he wasn’t in the water why does he give himself up, why did he just not shoot back, I landed there, just next to Bernard and that’s how I found him? But instead, like a Bond villain, he gave up his plan. Granted this lead him to the reveal that Them took the “good” people. And while were are on Goodwin, didn’t Shaft tell Jin that he was a good man and was killed by Them when they passed by his corpse while searching for Michael? Was this a glaring mistake or did Ana Lucia lie to the other tailies about how Goodwin died?

Another glaring admission was that one of the tailes mentioned that the plane was a hundred miles of course and doubted that there would be a rescue plane. How did she know this? The main cast didn’t find this out until they found the pilot and he told them. Was everyone completely not paying attention when the pilot announced this? Was this somehow only announced in the back of the plane? These types of questions have been ruining Lost this season.

I forgot to pay attention in the beginning to notice if the chick from came out of the ocean at the beginning, but I still think that she is part of the experiments from the bunker film. If she was on the plane, I bet she was the reason why it went down. Also it was pretty obvious that Dr. Burton wasn’t the spy. C’mon, it was Dr. Burton. But begs the question after Dr. Burton and Carol Vessey, who’s next to show up on the island, Warren? Molly? Ed himself? Personally I vote for Stubb because he defiantly needs something to do in between tapings of I Love the (insert decade here).

Then to end the show, we once again got to see Shannon die again reminding us how much last week sucked. And I’m sure, just like we got to see the going down the hatch three time, we may see Shannon die one more time, maybe from the dog’s point of view. So that’s why they need the extended episode so we can see something we already have before? And since when is four minutes extended?


Veronica Mars this week took a page out of the Lost playbook by having fifty minutes of nothing much happening, but an extra shocking last ten minutes. Not that the first part was void of any entertainment, Dick buying Kendall a French Maid outfit was classic and certainly the cigar shop Veronica when to will come into play later. And after the parade of familiar faces last week, we get another one this week with an appearance of Madison Sinclair last seen being revealed as the person behind Veronica’s drugging, who gave the line of the week when she said “My Dick?” For some reason that had me on the floor laughing, and yes, I know my mind needs to get out of the gutter. And with each passing episode I am more convinced that the Goodman family is at the heart of the bus crash. And this week we meet the paranoid son and the creepy mother. Not to mention Woody’s master plan of turning much of Neptune into a city.

But even since Meg’s sister brought Duncan Meg’s secret computer I figured that the family had a dark secret. So when Duncan mentioned that Meg had been in contact with child’s services, my first thought was her parents. That may have led to why I was a little down on the episode because I had it figured out from the beginning. But the wild goose chase did end back at the Manning household leading to the big ending. And with the line “Funny, my dad said the same thing” Sheriff Lamb turned from a crooked cop into something much more complex. This lead to Lamb to let Veronica, who Lamb never passes up a chance to mess with, go then heads back to the Manning homestead, where he sits in front of their house with his lights off. It should be interesting where his character goes from here.

My biggest problem with this episode was how it completely ignored what happened last week. There was no mention of the murder of Amelia DeLongpre or what Keith found under the seat in the bus. And this wasn’t the first time the show has ignored something that happened in the pervious episode most notable ignoring the Casablancas clan after Big Dick took off in his helicopter. Also I really don’t like how they put in scenes from the end of the episode into the previews. Knowing that Veronica and Duncan would be caught somewhat ruined this episode knowing all episode it would eventually happen much like a couple weeks ago with Veronica mentioning “They all died because of me” which turned out to be the last scene of that episode. But Veronica Mars once again was more entertaining this week than loss giving it a 5-1 advantaging in the season series.

Looking ahead to next week, I predict the first half of Lost will be mired in conversations like “You found a bunker? We found a bunker too.” “You had weird people steal some of your people? We had weird people try to steal some one of us too.” “You have a sketchy past that you spend hours upon hours reflecting on? I have a sketchy past that I spend hours upon hours reflecting on too.” Then the last coupe minutes their will be a big conformation between Ana Lucia and Sayid that will be interesting enough to con people into watching the next week.

As for Veronica Mars, it looks like she will finally get caught using one of her aliases at a bad time while trying to help Logan clear his name while Logan goes before “The People’s Court” which was obviously Weevil’s buddies. I am starting to believe that it was Logan who did it which is my big prediction of the week.

Oh, There's Nothing Like Oklahoma

Due to my morals, I try to avoid anything that is on Fox. Plus I prefer my karaoke to be performed by people with little to none talent much like Larry Holmes on But Can They Sing? So needless to say I have missed all but a couple of seconds of American Karaoke aside from some big black dude butchering one of my favorite songs of all time, Smokey Robinson’s The Tracks of My Tears. And it’s not like the American Karaoke champions have had much staying power aside from Kelly Clarkson even though many people will classify her only as a guilty pleasure.

But the latest queen of karaoke, Some Hearts - Carrie Underwood, shares the same qualities that has helped Clarkson to the top while the other champions in between have lacked, Underwood and Clarkson are both have the cute, down home, girl next door appeal. Just look at Underwood’s album cover with the playing in the field feel to it. She could sound like Biz Markie and still be able to sell some records on charm alone. And that charm went along way because, even though she has a decent voice, it’s doubtful she would have won if American Karaoke was a radio contest instead of on TV.

The songs on Underwood’s first album, Some Hearts, can be divided into two different camps, the one’s that will be marketed to the pop audience and those that will appeal more to country fans. Those songs even seem to alternate every other one to mix things up. The standout “pop” song is the album opener, Wasted, a nice little ditty about making sure you get the most out of life.

As for the “country” songs, there is nothing more entertaining on this album than Before He Cheats which takes a page out of the Goodbye Earl handbook about how to deal with a bad boyfriend. “And he don't know that I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seat, I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires.” Now I’m pretty sure if you carve your name into the seats, he may have a premonition that it was you that did it, but in no way ruins the entertainment value of the song. And you also have to give Underwood, a glorified karaoke queen, props for throwing in the line, “Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke.” That takes a pair, even for a girl. Also in the song she sings about the girl in question, “right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey.” Now is Underwood is able to do this, I totally want to hang out with this chick.

Even the other “country” song avoids the pitfall of many current country hits of insulting my intelligent. Seriously, She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy? I could actually feel my IQ drop when I heard that song. But anyways. Aside from wondering where Walmart is during the country girl in the big city tale of I Ain't in Checotah Anymore she sticks with classic country model of good storytelling. Night Before (Life Goes On) almost plays like a southern version of Fast Car with two young kids in love looking for a better life out of town but for now, “He’s got a Friday paycheck lined up down the block at daddy’s shop it ain’t much but its a job.”

There are quite a few songs that are filled with more cheese than most McDonald stores most notable the Jesus Take the Wheel. The song is just bogged down in over the top melodrama. Other songs are mired with clichés like, “Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned” (Lessons Learned) and “I guess it’s gonna hurt to hurt” (Starts with Goodbye). If she can get ride of these types of overused devises, she may just yet live up to the title of American Idol.

Song to Download – (If you’re a little bit country) Before He Cheats; (If you a little bit rock n roll) Wasted

Some Hearts gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Lyrics Quiz - 80's Dance Party vol. 2

A couple weeks ago, VH1 brought back their greatest franchise, the I Love the 80’s series, this time brought to you in 3-D. Well not really, it was just the third installment. To honor the great show, I going to bring back my 80’s Dance Party for this month’s lyric quiz even though this is just the second time for it. The first 80's Quiz ended quickly with all the songs being guessed without any hints. But this time around, it will be a little harder. As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Also keep in mind that since this is an 80’s theme, all song versions were the one’s released in the 80’s in the case of cover songs.

1. Now I’m playing it real slick, and yes I cut my hair. (Hip to Be Square - Huey Lewis and the News; guessed by Dane Bramage)
2. If you be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal. (You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon; guessed by Sheila)
3. Father wears his Sunday best, mother’s tired, she needs her rest. (Our House - Madness; guessed by Sheila)
4. Don’t fall in love, if you do, you’ll find out she don’t love you. (She's a Beauty - The Tubes; guessed by Sheila)
5. The sun was spiting fire, the sky was cool as ice, I felt a little tired so I watch Miami Vice. (Walk the Dinosaur – Was (Not Was); guessed by Dane Bramage)
6. Her weapons were her crystal eyes, making every man made. Black as the night she was. (Venus - Bananarama; guessed by Dane Bramage)
7. Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye. (You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi;
8. Said “Can I take you home where we can be alone,” and next we were movin' on. (I Love Rock & Roll - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts; guessed by Sheila)
9. School girl sleezy with a classy kinda sassy little skirt hangin way up her knee. (Walk This Way - Run DMC; guessed by Sheila)
10. When you want to come? (Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood; guessed by Sheila)
11. When I’m in the shower I’m afraid to wash my hair because I might open my eyes and see someone standing there. (Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell; guessed by Sheila)
12. Did you here that one about Michael, some say he must be gay. I try to argue but they say I he was straight he wouldn’t move that way. (Rumors - Timex Social Club; guessed by Guppyman)
13. Don’t switch the blade on a guy in shades. (Sunglasses at Night - Corey Hart; Guessed by Luka)
14. The time has come, a fact’s a fact, it belongs to them, let’s give it back. (Beds Are Buring - Midnight Oil; guessed by Sheila)
15. And the beat's so loud, deep inside. The pressure's high, just to stay alive. (The Heat Is On - Glen Fry; guessed by Guppyman)
16. I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that. (Tide Is High - Blondie; guessed by Sheila)
17. Think about direction, wonder why you haven’t before. (Stand - R.E.M.; guessed by Sheila)
18. If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double. (Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash; guessed by Sheila)
19. And she’s watching him with those eyes, and she’s loving him with that body, I just know it. (Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield; guessed by Sheila)
20. I got my first real six string, bought it at the 5 & Dime. (Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams; guessed by Sheila)
21. Put me in coach, I’m ready to play. (Centerfield - John Folgerty; guessed by Sheila)
22. She calls me baby, she calls everybody baby. (Lonely Ol' Night - John Couger Mellencamp; guessed by Guppyman)
23. Then she lost her mind and did the ultimate - I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips. (Parents Just Don't Understand - D.J. Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince; guessed by Sheila)
24. Walked in this place surprised to see, a big girl gettin' busy, just rockin' to the go-go beat. The way she shook her booty sho' looked good to me. (Da Butt - E.U.; guessed by Dane Bramage)
25. I buy you champagne and roses and diamonds on your finger. Still you hang out all night, what am I to do? (My Girl Wants to Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy; guessed by Dane Bramage)

Congrats to Sheila who guessed the most this month with 15 correct lyrics. Be sure to check back December 15th for the next lyrics quiz. To give you a little hint, next month's theme will be some of my favorite lyrics from 2005.

Best New Shows of Fall 2005

Now that we are a couple weeks into the new Fall TV Season and each new show has gotten a sweeps episode under their belt, it is time for me to unveil the top new shows of 2005. And if there are any TV execs reading this, you have my permission to use this list in promotions for you show. Now without further ado:

1. My Name Is Earl - Tuesday 9:00 NBC (See my first impressions)

2. Everybody Hates Chris - Thursday 8:00 UPN (See my first impressions)

3. Reunion - Thursday 9:00 Fox (See my first impressions)

4. How I Met Your Mother - Monday 8:30 CBS (See my first impression)

5. Supernatural - Tuesday 9:00 WB (See my first impressions)

The biggest surprise is that there is not one, not two, but three sitcoms in the top five. I haven’t watched a sitcom religiously since ABC started screwing with The Drew Carey Show’s scheduling and it has been over a decade since I watched three sitcoms in the same year. Apparently having a narrator is the key to comedy these days as each show utilizes one.

Even though Everybody Hates Chris was my preseason favorite, My Name Is Earl is this season’s breakout show and Jason Lee’s mustache being the season breakout star. With Earl’s insane list, there are limitless opportunities for Earl to get back on karma’s good side as seen in the episodes that have been shown so far. Stealing the golfer’s beer is the best wrong that Earl has had to right so far, by faking his death to get out of a relationship comes a close second. As for the coming in second on my list, Chris has some great laugh out loud moments, but sometimes the show get bogged down with too many Wonder Years moments.

Another big surprise would be with all the X-Files rip-offs (Surface, Invasion, Threshold) getting all the early buzz, which all turned out to be unwarranted a different sci-fi show and a show with an original concept were the two dramas that made the list. The concept behind Reunion, each episode is dedicated to a different year, even makes up to some poor acting and foreseeable plot twist, although they did through me for a loop with the last episode where they made me believe that I was right by saying it was the actress was the one who would bit the dust only to reveal that the chick from Angel’s interview was via a videotape from the night she died.

Bringing up the rear is another solid drama, Supernatural. In my original assessment of the show, I mention that I would most likely catch it when it came out on DVD because I’d be watching My Name Is Earl. But I figured I still tape the show until there was a episode I didn’t like but that day has yet to come.

I've Acted Out My Love on Stages

With Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan already crossed-over into music and albums by Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie sadly on the way, it was only a matter of time before a cast member from The O.C. made their very own album. What is surprising is that it is not by Marissa or Ryan but by papa Cohen. Granted I don’t watch The O.C., so I know Peter Gallagher mostly from the best reality ever, Denis Leary’s short lived Contest Searchlight where Gallagher got run over by a car. Hopefully one of these days that will finally make it to DVD. But anyways.

Unlike others who try to juggle a singing career after establishing themselves as an actor, Gallagher actually came up through musical theater appearing in musicals such as Grease and Guys and Dolls. On 7 Days in Memphis, Gallagher traveled down to the city mentioned in the title to Ardent Studios to record the songs, all of which were pulled from soul tracks that were recorded in that very studio. Keeping with the vibe of the studio, Gallagher used many musicians from the area including Steve Cropper of Booker T. & the M.G.’s. Legendary soul singer Betty Wright even shows up to duet on When You Move You Lose.

Gallagher’s song selection was impeccable, but still doesn’t come close to pulling off anything as good as the original. But it’s doubtful he was trying to live up to them in the first place but rather giving them new life for a new generation. His best song choice would be the Donnie Hathaway (no relation to Anne) classic, and one of my personal favorite, A Song for You.

Song to Download – A Song for You (or check out the Donny Hathaway version)

7 Days in Memphis gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

A Guy Dresses Up Like a Bat Clearly Has Issues

The new Batman movie, the first since Joel Schumacher ruined the franchise eight years ago, can basically be divided into two separate movies. The first part plays out almost like an episode of Lost, unfortunately of the second season variety, where Bruce Wayne finds himself in the Himalaya region where he is recruited by, Henri Ducard played by Liam Neeson in full Qui-Gon Jinn mode with Wayne as his apprentice, to join his League of Shadows. And the training sessions, with its clichéd metaphors, are peppered with a younger Bruce Wayne, showing what in his life led him to this point. These flashbacks also lead to some revisionist flashbacks most notable that The Joker was not the one who killed Wayne’s parents nor did the killer even mutter the phrase, “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

The first act is saved by the closing fight sequence between Wayne and the villain of the first half of the film, Ra’s Al Ghul played by Ken Watanabe from The Last Samurai. It seems as if Ken was cast solely for the fight sequence because his role is quite limited in the movie.

After his exile in Tibet, Wayne finally arrives back in Gotham to start the second act. It starts out slowly as Wanye starts to create his Batman alter ego with Batsuit, which we don’t get to see until an hour into the movie, and Batmobile, which is now a tank rather than the classic sports car from past incarnations of the franchise. The villain of the second act is one of my favorite from the Batman mythology, the Scarecrow, second after the Penguin. But much like how the ruined the Penguin in Batman Returns, the Scarecrow is usually seen as his alter ego, Dr. Jonathan Crane, both played by Cillian Murphy, no relation tom Eddie or Charlie, and his only rarely puts the mask on. And when he permanently turns into the Scarecrow, he only makes a small cameo in the final epic battle.

In the final battle, they tie in both first and second acts well including a plot twist that I never saw coming. The acting is top notch, but that happens when your supporting cast includes Neeson, Watanabe, Micheal Caine as Alfred, Morgan Feeman as scientist Lucius Fox, and Gary Oldman as not quite yet Commissioner Gordon. Christian Bale, who I will always remember as the title character from American Psycho, is Bruce Wayne, which he does a good job at. But, like his predecessors, I really don’t think he does a god job as Batman. Katie Holmes, most known as Tom Cruise’s latest promotional tool, plays the token love interest who, like all of Batman's love interest not named Catwoman, is one-dimentional.

Since I divided the film into two acts, I would give the first act a TA:Elevated while the second act would get a TA:Severe, and as a whole:

Batman Begins get a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 5

Just when you think Lost couldn’t get any worse, the show slips even further down. And when I say worse, I saying season two has gotten X-Files 7x bad. Once again we had to sit through fifty minutes of boring dribble only for it to pick up in the last ten minutes. But of course the marketing department ruined much of that excitement by letting us know that someone was going to die. And then the person they killed off, the token hot chick, was a bad idea to end all bad ideas.

And even though I mentioned that if Shannon was the one to die, I would never watch the show again, that was most likely an idle threat. Instead Lost will most likely move into the shows I watch but don’t want to admit I do much like the reality shows on VH1. But they might as well have killed her off because they rendered the character useless. Last season, her character seemed like the most intriguing to see how she would adapt to being on an island. Then aside from seeing Walt in the first episode, she has done nothing of note this season so far. Then after being mad at Sayid for not killing Locke for her less than two weeks ago (at least by my calculation of the show’s timeline), she willing to have sex with him which I would assume was unprotected. And what's up with the horror story, "if you have sex, you will die" cliche?

There were a few things I did pick up during the boring first part of the show. First the blonde tailie mention that she was a clinical psychologist and if my memory serves me correctly, the people who were running the hatch experiment were from a college’s psychology department. I have to believe she has something to do with it. Maybe her team didn’t push the button in the bunker that they tailies where staying in. I also found it interesting that she that she brought up the children, who I for now on refer to as the Lost Boys (get it? The show is called Lost, and then there Peter Pan, oh, never mind) a couple times. Who are the Lost Boys? Was there a large under aged presence in the back of the plane? Are they part of the Others?

Speaking of the Others, I have come to the realization that there are actually two separate groups of Others. I have grouped them into the Ethan Rom (remember him? I am beginning to wonder if the writers do) sect who I think is connected with the jungle whispers and those who were killing off the tallies systematically. Then there were the Deliverance looking guys who took Walt. I think they are both battling to for control of the island. I haven’t figured out exactly how Desmond and the hatch figure into all of this, but then again, I really doubt that the writers do either.

I also think that this was the first flashback that happens well before the crash that they dated. If you were paying attention, Shannon was playing the Dave Matthews Band’s Stay (Wasting Time) which would put it circa 1998. That would also put Jack’s meeting Desmond at the same time. And that leads to another questionable reason to kill off Shannon. For anyone who was paying attention, Shannon’s dad was the guy who died in the accident caused by Jack future wife. But they never explicitly said that’s what happened, in fact Jack didn’t even appear at all this episode, and thus ruins what could have been an interesting storyline which this season desperately need. And now with Shannon dead they really can’t explore it any further.

But now on to a show that has yet to disappoint, and easily wins this weeks toss-up (and currently has a 4-1 alltime lead), Veronica Mars. The big story this week is the return of a couple familiar faces not seen since last season, Aaron Echols, Abel Koontz, Clarence Weidman, and Cliff the not very good lawyer. Then there was the triumphant return of Dick, who is quickly become my favorite character. I loved how he actually seemed that it was cool how his dad would be arrested on sight if he ever set foot inside the US again. All that and they even had Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in his first ever speaking role playing an shady car rental employee, not to be confused with Kevin Smith who a couple weeks ago played a shady convenience store clerk. Next on the famous writer guest parade could be none other than horror guru Steven King who recent confessed his love for the show.

Where Lost spent most of its latest episode boring me to tears, Veronica Mars was none stop action with twist and turns during almost every scene. Logan got arrested for killing Felix, again, after the only witness stepped forward, with no reason given, months after calling in the anonymous tip. Then Logan decides to go with the public defendant who just happens to be Veronica’s good ol’ pal Cliff which leads to the highlight of this episode where Cliff and Veronica debate who currently owes the other a favor by ratting off what each has done for each other lately while Logan just sits and listens.

The arrest leads Logan to share a cell with his father, who is just conveniently there while being transferred. While there, Aaron mentioned that he didn’t kill Lilly. I do believe him because I never really thought he did it in the first place. I always thought he would have her killed rather to do it himself. And really why would someone who has admitted to statutory rape, numerous counts of contributing to a delinquency of a minor, infidelity, and multiple counts of attempted murder, draw the line at admitting murder. His Duncan excuse is definably plausible and that will no doubt cause some tension between the new roommates.

Logan and Duncan are now roommates because Weevil and his homies burned down his mansion after they heard Logan was released on bond, suspiciously after Sheriff Lamb said he would be a flight risk. Yet even Cliff was able to get Logan out. I wonder if by telling Logan that, Lame was basically telling Logan to leave town when he gets out.

But the major story line was the return of Abel Koontz, with days to live, asking Veronica to find his daughter, who skipped town after taking the Kane’s hush money, so he can say goodbye. And since this is Veronica Mars, finding his daughter led to a larger conspiracy of the daughter coming back to Neptune to extort more money from the Kane family. This leads to the return of Weidman who Veronica had to ask after breaking into his office “You’re the head of what again?” But even after that and butting heads all last season, they team up to find Koontz’s daughter… in the ice machine of a shady hotel, “Rooms are $30).

Then to top thing off, Keith, who just found out his daughter’s name turned up on the hand of a dead man, breaks into the bus wreckage only to find something taped to the bottom of the seat. Unfortunately it was to dark to see what exactly was there. I thought it was some sort of bomb yet I heard some people say it looked like a rat, but there was defiantly something duct taped to the bottom of a seat.


Looking ahead to next week, we get to see how the tailies live post-crash on Lost and we may learn a little more about the Lost Boys who were mention during the previews. As for Veronica Mars, Duncan and Veronica look into some sort of babysitting scandal. At first glance it looks as if Lost will be better, but as we have seen all season, the subsequent episode has always been a letdown compared to its previews. So I think it will be a safe bet that Veronica Mars will ultimately be better. Not that I’m watching Lost ever again…

I Rocked the Vote (I Think)

Yesterday was typically one of my favorite days of the year, voting day. Granted it being an odd year, there wasn’t really much across the nation for the talking heads to screw up like they have done in recent years with their feebly conceived polling system. But yesterday was a day of note due that it was the first year that Ohio instituted the statewide computer voting system. After hear about all the horror stories about the problems they caused last year, I assumed they would take the past year to iron out the concerns before spreading it statewide, but was I horribly wrong.

The first thing I noticed when walking into the gym where I vote was something I have never witness in my almost decade worth of voting, a line. I have voted in all but one election since turning eighteen, although I must admit, I cast my ballot absentee a couple times in college, but this was the first time ever I had to wait to cast my vote. The next thing I noticed was they had the computers lined up against the wall with the screens facing the line so really anyone was average eye sight could see exactly who or what you were voting for.

When I finally arrived at my computer to vote (see pitcure but we had about half the amount of computers), I noticed that the blinders to shield the person next to you were less than half a foot long rendering them useless from any wondering eyes of your voting neighbor and of course the line behind you could also easily check out your vote as mentioned earlier and the volunteers who paced behind voters like proctors at an exam, except they didn’t punish anyone who was looking at someone else’s ballot, instead they looked like they were just check out who you were voting for themselves. Not that any of that pertained to me because I was sent to the last computer in between the wall and a computer that had already broken down. Already broke on the first day of use, no wonder there was a line.

And privacy was the least of my worries when I started to vote. The computer themselves stood about four feet high so I hade to spend the whole time bending over to read the screen because it was set at a height for a grade school student. I’m sure this was done as not to put people of shorter stature at a disadvantage, but in turn it just put people of normal height or taller at the disadvantage. And of course there was no way to adjust the screen.

Then when I finally finished my ballot, guaranteeing a week’s worth of back pain, I ended up having to push print ballot three times, not that anything actually printed out. After my personalized debit card popped back out of the machine, I spent a couple minutes analyzing my computer to make sure there wasn’t anything that actually printed out even thought I heard it make a printing should like at my ATM printing the receipt. So I took my debit card back to the volunteer, passing all the other computers where it would have been easily to check out how people vote, handed it back in. And that was it, there was no way to tell that what was stored on my debit card actually represented what I thought I was voting for and know quite well how easy it is, even accidentally, to erase information on one of those cards. And someone pointed out to me today that there is no way to make a write-in vote with the new computer system.

All of this because people were too stupid to check their paper ballots to make sure their votes when all of the way through and not leaving a hanging or pregnant chad. But to alleviate the problem of people not checking their ballot, they have replaced it with a method where you cannot check your ballot even if you wanted too. How is that a solution? We really need to go back to the paper ballot and for those to stupid to check their own ballot to make sure it is done correctly don’t deserve to have their ballot to be counted in the first place.

But I guess not many other people had that problem yesterday anyways as only three million other Buckeyes voted yesterday. For those keeping track at home, that is out of eleven million citizens and eight million registered voters. That would come to 39.7% turnout. Wow, that’s barely a third and we had five amendments to the state constitution on the ballot too. The worst of the worst in terms of turnout would be Athens County which so happens to be the home of Ohio University. Way to rock the vote guys.

The Top Is so Much Better Than the Bottom (Yet More Boring)

Back in the late 90’s, my go to rap guy handed me a mix tape with one of the most entertaining songs I had heard in a while, How to Rob, by the then unknown 50 Cent. Since then 50 dropped classic mix tape one after another earning the title as the greatest underground MC. Then he finally got his chance after being discovered by Eminem who introduced 50 to the world on the soundtrack of his own big screen debut, 8 Mile.

Less than four years later, 50 is ready to hit the big screen himself with his own semi-autobiographical film, Get Rich or Die Trying. But where the 8 Mile Soundtrack only featured two songs from the star, 50 turned his soundtrack to his movie into essentially a G-Unit album without any rappers that aren’t part of his crew. This was a bad idea because 8 Mile brought in heavy hitters like Nas, Jay-Z, and Rakim, Get Rich or Die Trying gets weighed down by 50’s friends who makes George Bush’s accusations of cronyism pale in comparison to 50 bring in his third rate crew to the album.

The soundtrack starts off with 50’s attempt to write his own Lose Yourself with Hustlers Ambition. But where Slim Shady wrote the song in response to critic who said he couldn’t write a curse-free song, every fifth word Hustlers Ambition needs to be censored on the radio which makes me wonder why and station or MTV would play it. But for the rest of the album, most of the songs have a curse word as much as every third word. A wide man once said it’s easy to get your point across by cursing; it takes a real wordsmith to do the same without cursing. Obviously 50 likes taking easy way out.

And there in lies the problem with 50 these days. When he was unknown he was hungry, and his is music showed it and that carried over to his first major label released Get Rich or Die Trying, not to be confused with the Soundtrack of the same name. But since then he has become complacent in his rap, content to just rehash everything he has done before rather than to push his music further. This is most relevant on What If which sound much like How to Rob but instead of taking about how he would rob famous people, he instead name drops his peers taking about how lame he would be if he imitated them. Sadly he doesn’t realize he is now just a pale imitation of himself when he was relevant.

50 isn’t the only member of G-Unit who likes to rehash previous hits. On Don’t Need No Help, Young Buck rehashes the famous the classic NWA refrain, **** tha police more often than Ice Cube did on the original fifteen years ago. There is even more police bashing on the anti-snitch I Don’t Know Officer. Yawn.

Of course 50 has a bunch of songs that are reminiscing of In da Club and Candy Shop, the songs that got him on TRL in the first place with potential club hits such as We Both Think Alike, Best Friend, and Have a Party, which is bogged down by that annoying G-g-g-g-g-Unit chant every five seconds. Lloyd Bank$ even raps “I’m TRL next to Avril Lavigne” on Born Alone, Die Alone as if that’s an accomplishment. All that means is that your target audience is now fourteen year old white. So if you are not a fourteen year old white girl, you need to stay away from the Get Rich or Die Trying Soundtrack.

Song to Download – You Already Know (This is only because it has the best beat. You would be better off saving your money)

Get Rich or Die Trying Soundtrack gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Act Like You've Been There Before

I really never cared much for Terrell Owens. I’ve always gone with the “act like you’ve been there before” philosophy. Granted I thought the sharpie incident was brilliantly conceived and I like anytime someone mocks Ray Lewis. But for the most part, I know if Owens is teased to be coming up on Sportscenter, I’m pretty sure I’ll be disgusted. From his endzone celebrations, to calling Jeff Garcia gay, to all the sophomoric junk that went on this summer. After a relatively quiet start of the season, the Eagles start to lose and Owens starts up again. First was the whole Brett Farve thing that did get overplayed because less face it, if a healthy Farve was the Eagles quarterback rather than a hurt Donavan McNabb, the Eagle would be better. But the staw the apparently broke the Eagles’ back was the situation with Hugh Douglas. Now Owens has been calculating so far in what he said, but I didn’t think he would be that stupid to go Ron Artest on a former teammate. He really needs to leave the teammate punching to Big Head Barry. It’s never a good sign when a spectator compares something to a WWF situation.

Now it looks as if the Eagles will Keyshawn Owens and ship him off or even drop him in the off-season. (This just in Eagles' coach Andy Reid said Owens won't be back this season.) Would I want Owens for my team? In a word, no. I would much rather seem my team lose with class than win without it. Back in the 90’s I jumped off the Indians when John Hart assembled a bunch of hired thugs in hopes of winning like fan bashing Joey Bell, ump spitter Roberto Alomar, wife beater Will Cordero, and the craziest baseball player ever, Milton Bradley among others. I much preferred the perennial last place teams of the 80’s opposed to the 90’s thugs.

But surely Owens will find a team next season because, much like the Eagles two seasons ago, there will be a team who think they will be one playmaker away from the Super Bowl and pick him up. But every team should realize that Owens joined a great 49er team and left it in shambles and will likely do the same with the Eagles. I really doubt that this is a coincidence.

But with all the hoopla over T.O. isn’t even the most interesting football story this weekend. Apparently two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday. And what happened make the Minnesota sex boat look like a Boy Scout retreat. Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas were reportedly having sex in a nightclub’s restroom stall when they were interrupted by an angry woman waiting in line so Thomas punched her. This is quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m sure Keathley and Thomas will be coming to a Playboy magazine near you in time for the Super Bowl issue.

In other drunken chick new, shortly after giving an interview with People Magazine talking about how she hates famous people who think they are better that other people, Ashlee Simpson was caught on a camera phone berating a McDonald’s employee, calling her an expletive, and refusing to take a picture with a fan because he wouldn’t kiss her feet. What a classy lady, maybe she should hook up with Owens. Sadly I don’t have a video of the cheerleaders, but at least the Ashlee one has made it’s way onto the web, see the video for yourself – click here.

I Want My, I Want My, I Want My Music Television

Every week I watch good ol’ Bob Ross on my digital tier because the colors of the painting of more vivid and his afro is more pronounced. Now my digital tier in the 500’s is a mix of digital, which I can watch, and high definition channels which I can’t watch due to my lack of a HDTV. So asides from The Joy of Painting, which finally got mentioned on the third installment of I Love the 80’s even though I didn’t start watching it until the mid-90s, I rarely go into the upper reaches of my cable because it’s too complicated for my feeble mind to understand.

Then a couple weeks ago, I pulled up the TV Guide that’s built into my cable system after another soothing week of Bob Ross when I noticed a new channel that wasn’t a digital or HD version of another station. Right above the digital PBS channel was a new channel called The Tube, so I though I’d check it out and once I turned it on, the channel was showing a video of Oasis’ Champagne Supernova. I was taken aback because it had been a very long time since I saw a video in the middle of the day and even longer since I saw a good one. So I sat there as video after video came on, each one good as the previous and commercial free aside from the occasional Public Service Announcement and promos for the station.

Overall, the station seems like an adult contemporary radio station but will videos and a much bigger playlist. Aside from your regular variety of videos you would see on other “video” channels, they also have an extensive library of live video that they draw from too. The main drawback of the AC playlist though is that the Foo Fighters are about as hard that the rock gets and there is absolutely no rap on the station. But it does give airtime to new artist such as Anna Nalick and Tristan Prettyman, singers that have been overlooked by other music channels and radio like Ben Harper and Citizen Cope, and even alt-country acts such as Ryan Adams and Mindy Smith that get ignored by the mainstream and Nashville.

So if you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s and miss when MTV actually showed videos or even videos that you like, check your cable system to see if you already get The Tube. Or hope over to there website, http://www.thetubetv.com/ to see if you get it in your area.

Car Mix - November '05

Every once and a while I like to make a mix tape of the best songs out there to listen to in the car. Here’s what you should be listening to.

1. Gold Digger – Kanye West & Jamie Foxx (Check out my album review - You Gotta Love it Though, Somebody Still Speaks From His Soul)
2. I Got a Woman – Ray Charles (Of course Gold Digger was built around this Ray Charles classic)
3. The Corner (Remix) – Common, Scareface, & Mos Def
4. So High – John Legend
5. I’m Feeling You – Santana, Michelle Branch & the Wreckers (See my album review - Your Fire Fills My Soul)
6. Dreamgirl – Dave Matthews Band (See my album review - Bring That Beat Back to Me Again)
7. The Mixed Tape – Jack’s Mannequin (See my album review - I'll Send This Message Through the Speakers)
8. Good Times – Tommy Lee (See my album review - I'd Rather Play You on My TV)
9. Breakdown – Jack Johnson (See my album review - We Drew Our Own Constellations)
10. Bad Day – Daniel Powter (Another good iTunes free Single of the Week)
11. Do it Again – Nada Surf
12. Last Getaway (ReAct Now: Music & Relief) – The Radiators (These next three song came from Connect.com with proceeds going to Katrina Relief)
13. Home (ReAct Now: Music & Relief) – Marc Broussard (Although the song is taken from the Connect set, if you follow this link it will take you to the iTunes store with another live version with proceeds also going to Katrina relief)
14. Wake Me up When September Ends (ReAct Now: Music & Relief) – Green Day (Again, this link takes you to iTunes version with proceeds of the song going to charity)
15. All These Things That I’ve Done (Live 8) – The Killers (Look for the Live 8 DVD coming out next Tuesday)
16. Behind These Immigrant Eyes – Led Zeppelin vs. Kelly Clarkson (Another mix tape and yet another Kelly Clarkson mash-up. I still have a couple more on my iPod)
17. In the Rough – Anna Nalick
18. Who We Are – Hope Partlow (Check out my album review - Hope Is What I'm Hoping to Find)
19. The Theme to Fame (Emmy Idol) – Kristen Bell (What should have been the winner at this year’s Emmys, check out my review - We on Award Tour - 2005 Emmy Awards)
20. They Don’t Know (World Series Remix) – Paul Wall (Thanks to some shaky umpiring, the World Series didn’t go they should have, but Astro’s fan and Houston native Paul Wall made the best pre-championship song since the Superbowl Shuffle and was able to name drop each player on the roster and front row ticket holder George Bush, that is the real one, not the pale imitation that is his son)