How can you possibly go wrong pairing up Tommy Lee Jones with five hot cheerleaders? Luckily Man of the House doesn’t disappoint. Granted, it won’t win any awards, but it does a good job as a time suck with its standard fish out of water story and count them, five token hot chicks.
The story follows Tommy Lee Jones as a Texas Ranger, not the kind that would know Derek Jeter as some of the girls think, who is protecting a group of cheerleaders from the University of Texas who have witnessed a murder that is linked to a high powered businessman. The ladies he is protecting include the token hot chick from Undeclared as the brainy one with social anxieties, Vanessa Ferlito, who is on one of the CSI’s, Omaha maybe, plays the tough as nails one but has all the deep thoughts not too mention the only one who could master the Texas accent, Paula Garces, who surprisingly is on the wrong side of thirty playing a college student, and Chistina Milian, best know for her singing career, well actually not really, both play the fiery Latina chick, not sure why they didn’t just combine the characters. The standout of the cheerleaders though was Kelli Garner as the boy, and man, crazy dumb blonde, who brought depth and heart to what could have been just your routine Jessica or Paris caricature. Rounding out the cast was Cedric the Entertainer who’s talents were somewhat wasted as the ex-con turned preacher.
Most of the movie is pretty predictable with the girls helping Jones character get in touch with his feminine side including the prerequisite makeover montage. And it’s a given that they would help him out with his girl troubles including his estranged daughter and the professor of one of the girls. The movie may not be as smart as the other cheerleader movie, Bring it On
but Man of the House is worth a rental at the very least.
As for the extra on the DVD, there is a standard making of documentary along with an extra segment following the girls as they learn how to cheerleaders. For some reason before the movie, it runs a warning claiming that the views expressed in the commentaries, yadda yadda yadda, but there are now commentaries to be found but I’m not sure if anyone would want to here the five chick yap about the film anyways.
Man of the House gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
Last night was the premiere of the most anticipated show of the fall season for me, Everybody Hates Chris. Like many white teenager growing up in the suburbs, I had many of Chris Rock’s routines and would recite them when ever I fit them in a conversation. Now much like my other comedic idol of the 90’s, Denis Leary, Rock has his own television show except Everybody Hates Chris is an autobiographical show with Rock serving as the narrator. Luckily as the narrator, Rock didn’t reveal at the end of the show, the girl he met was actually his kids’ aunt; I’m talking to you Danny Tanner.
The show hit all the right notes with some extremely funny antidotes like when the father knows the price of everything in house and proceed to inform everyone who is around. And unlike Reunion who seems to just pick the top songs from that decade, the music in Everybody Hates Chris hits all the right notes for instance when Ebony and Ivory played as Chris fought with a white bully and even when Rock was legally not allowed to say why the former principal got fired, having Don’t Stand So Close to Me playing in the background, explained everything.
The cast is also well chosen. Terry Crews, last seen as the black dude in White Chicks redeems himself as Rock’s father and has the best lines in the whole show like “Chris, unplug your clock, you don’t need tell time when your asleep, that’s two cents a minute.” Rock’s mother is played by the chick from Martin not named Tisha Campbell, and no I’m not talking about Sheneneh either. The rest of the cast are relative unknown kids led by Tyler James Williams as the younger Rock as does a great job at it even though he does the pitfall of trying to imitate the elder version of Rock which comes of as some one like myself trying to tell one of Rock’s jokes.
Verdict: Not as funny as the first My Name Is Earl but it’s not far behind. I’ll be watching Survivor, but I’ll be taping Everybody Hates Chris on my good VCR and take my chance with Smallville on my other one. Sorry Alias, no room for you.
Invasion
Another day, another new sci-fi premier, the latest, and I believe the last for awhile in the cushy post-Lost time slot is Invasion. It was really hard to get away from the commercials for the show as ABC showed them ad nausea and recently mentioning how every paper in the country says it’s the best drama this year. Granted from the one I’ve seen, that’s not saying much. But when it comes down to it, Invasion really isn’t doesn’t stand above the rest.
The show revolves around a town that has just been hit by a hurricane primarily an extended family that includes a scientist (at least that what I think he does, wasn’t exactly clear) his wife and two children, his ex-wife and her new husband and his daughter. Surprisingly Jerry Springer isn’t involved. The actors that play the characters are pretty much no name with the dude from Tilt being the only person I recognize. And the character themselves are not that likeable tonight asides from the Tilt dude and his reporter wife. His daughter is extremely annoy, maybe is because I’ve her here say things like “Do you see the lights?” and the even worse, “Mommy, you smell different” all summer long. The conspiracy theorist brother-in-law comes off unlikable much unlike the one on Bones who is lot funnier. It becomes obvious early on that the ex-wife’s husband is evil and new about the whole body snatching hurricane scenario before it happened and I have a feeling he set the wife up to be apart of it.
The hurricane theme also makes the show hard to watch. Most people watch television as a form of escapism and with all the 24-hour new station focusing on the damage of Hurricane Katrina and preparing for Hurricane Rita, I really have no desire to see a fake hurricane with all the real one heavily featured everywhere else. Now had ABC had not over-advertise the show, maybe they could have pushed the show to midseason not too mention it would have not watered down the show where everyone knew what was coming before it happened.
Verdict: Everyone will be better off watching Veronica Mars at 9:00 on Wednesday and watching a taped version of Lost at 10:00 (or vice versa depending on your preference). It really sad the Dave's blog is more entertaining than the show he's on.
Lost
After being annoyed all summer because Lost ended on a poor not a couple months ago, the show is finally back with a chance to redeem itself. It started off interesting enough what looked to be a flashback to the 70’s which made me think that Locke might of actually had hair three decades ago, and a nice set of hair to boot. But as the camera panned out to the last scene of the first season with Locke, Jack, Kate, and Hurley looking down the hatch, I realized what we witnessed was what, or to specific, who is in the hatch. I guess I was right in that the hatch was a bomb shelter but I thought it was going to be Boone, Ethan, the marshal, Scott, Arntz, Elvis, and Tupac down there. Oh well.
We are then treated to a bunch of Jack flashback chronicling how he met his wife where Jack is sporting his old Charlie for Party of Five hair. The initial surprise being that she was engaged at the time, but really any one who was paying attention to the last time Carol Vessey was on, she mention that Jack told her she would dance at her wedding. But of course I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t get that until last night. But the stadium flashback was the key one. On a quick side note, how does one get into an empty stadium to run, that really bugged me. But anyways. Near the end of the episode I told the person I was watching, “I bet we see Desmond in more flashbacks this season.” And I wasn’t far off as he turned out to be the one in the bomb shelter. Not that he won't show uip in flashback later. And this makes even more questions, the biggest for me being, if the shows intro suggests, Desmond has been stuck in the shelter since the 70’s, how, and why, does he run into Jack in the late 80’s/early 90’s?
When the band of four get back to the camp, the story turns bad as everyone is still debating about The Others even though we all know where they are. It also seems as if Shannon will get an actual storyline this year because it looks like her, with Vincent’s help, will be the one who rescues Walt.
On a related note, I went back and watch the first season of Alias over the summer because I didn’t start watching it until the third season. I wanted to do so because I didn’t really care too much for the show last season and I wondering if it was because I missed the beginning. As I watch the earlier episodes, it struck me that Alias basically was a big opening followed by a lackluster middle and the show were capped off with a exciting cliffhanger. And with the latest episode of Lost, which is from the guy who brought us Alias, there was the same thing, a great opening and a great ending, but everything in between was lackluster. For me this isn’t a very good sign as I’ve already decided to skip this season of Alias.
Verdict: There is a very good reason while I’ll be watching Veronica Mars and taping Lost.
I was very skeptical when I first heard about My Name Is Earl. It looked really funny, a show about a petty thief who decides to turn his life after winning the lottery. But the whole redneck vibe could easily turn it into another Mullets type show but with a bushy mustache instead of some hair in the back. Not to mention Earl is played by Jason Lee who, much like Ben Affleck, hasn’t done anything worth watching that didn’t involve Kevin Smith.
All my fears were put to rest when I finally caught the show last night. I haven’t laugh so hard since Adam Sandler’s hey day back in the mid 90’s. First the cast is spectacular. Jason Lee as Earl is great at making a criminal into a likable character that you actually want to root for. Jamie Pressly is there doing what she does best – white trash, and she pulls it off effortlessly as Earl’s ex-wife. She quickly shacks up with one of her baby daddies, who I swear is the dude from the Staples ads (or maybe Office Max, its one of those supply stores). Then there is Earl’s balding brother played by the bully from Boy Meets World and go to fat dude ever since. He’s the one character that hasn’t quite grown on my yet. And of course there is a token hot chick that is a maid at the hotel where Earl and his brother are staying.
The first episode was pitch perfect with Earl losing his winning ticket by being hit by a car only to have an epiphany while watching Carson Daly of all people. From there on, he decides to right all his wrongs with Earl’s first step to redemption being to help a kid he picked on in elementary school get lucky. But there is on major problem when it turns out the kid has grown into, what Earl calls a “homosexual-American.” Of course this freaks the simple minded red neck and Earl crosses the kid of his to do list only for karma to bite him in the butt again. This then forces Earl back into helping the gay-American by taking him to a gay bar where hilarity continues ensues.
Verdict: Watch it, tape it, watch it again. Forget House. Forget The Amazing Race. Don’t even bother with Commander in Chief. Now cue up Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock. Oh no I didn’t.
Before I get into the reviews of the shows advertised, I like to mention that I skipped Surface on purpose and you won’t be seeing a review of the show anytime soon. From the commercials, it looked like the worst of the onslaught of sci-fi shows popping up this season, and that’s saying a lot considering I wasn’t too excited about any of them. And reading the reviews for Surface, it looks like no one seemed to like it anyways. Now on to the show I did watch.
Kitchen Confidential
After the horrible The War at Home, this season’s sitcoms didn’t start of on a very good foot. First up sitting in the post-Arrested Development (if you haven’t already, be sure to check out imoscar.com) timeslot was Kitchen Confidential. Hard shoes to fill but they try anyways. The show centers on a top notch chef, the reporter from Alias, who had everything taken away after a cocaine habit brought him down. The show starts with him getting a second chance as the head chef of a new restaurant. The first thing he ha to do is round up his crew which includes Xander from Buffy, the head geek from Freeks and Geeks, and Johnny Cho, who we should be chastised for the unfunny Harold and Kumar movie but instead should be chastised for bring the term MILF into our lives. As for the staff that was already in place we have James King, last seen naked in Sin City, playing the token hot dumb chick/hostess, and Bonnie Summerville as the owner’s daughter who most likely will play Diane to Alias dude’s Sam. But I’m not sure the show will be on long enough for them to actually hook up.
The main problem of the show, much like Emeril’s sitcom and the reality show The Restaurant is many people don’t want to see funny things that happen in the kitchen of a restaurant. We the consumers want to go in blindly unaware of any potential problems that are hidden by swinging doors. Watching the finger cutting will make me think back to the last time I was at my local resteraunt and think, “what if?”
Another problem with the first show was there were just too many characters and many of them were not flushed out. Aside from the main character, the supporting cast got very little screen time to give me an idea of what they were all about such as the Xander & Harold characters. At the end of the show, the fake-restaurant got a review saying that it was chaotic, the help was suspicious, but at the heart, what they serve was good, and if they could get things together the whole establishment could be great, and that could sum up the show itself.
Verdict: You may be better off watching…
How I Met Your Mother
How I Met Your Mother was my second most anticipated sitcom after Everyone Hates Chris. It has an interesting concept about a father explaining to his teenage children about, obviously, how he met his mother. Okay, the concept is pretty cheesy in a Wonder Years kind of way. Mmm, I just realized that my top two shows I’m was looking forward take from the Wonder Years. Not quite sure if that is a good thing. But Anyways. The real reason I was wanted to see the show is its cast as it features not only Willow but Doogie Howser too. Then they get Danny Tanner to play the role of the dude from City Slickers. How could you possibly go wrong? Rounding out the supporting cast is Jason Segal, yet another Freaks and Geeks alum, this time a freak. Kinda makes me wonder what happened to Bill. Oh well.
As for the lead characters, we are introduced to two new actors Josh Radnor as the dad and Cobie Smulders as the female lead. Radnor really didn’t impress me much but then most leads tend to take a back seat to their surrounding cast. Smulders on the hand did a good job with the whole slightly quirky girl next girl. Now if only I can find a chick who can quote lines from Ghostbusters.
The show itself start off a little sluggish but slowly started out whipping off some good one liners most given by Doogie who looks like the reason to turn everyone. If “suit up” doesn’t enter the American lexicon, that will be a shame. I’m sure I’ll be using it in the near future. I didn’t really care too much for the stop frame to narrating ploy and the ending was bad in a Jack and Bobby kind of way, you know, the kind that ruins the show by revealing the ending way too soon. But unlike Jack and Bobby, it is possible How I Met Your Mother can redeem itself later. Plus it has Doogie and Willow.
Verdict: Watch this over Kitchen Confidential and hope the ending from last night’s show doesn’t completely ruin the show. Now suit up and meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The Emmy awards were announced so long ago, I almost forgot they haven’t actually given out the awards yet, but after watching the show. I kind of wished I had missed it. But to be honest I did watch The Simpson and Family Guy while they were on with the Emmys in the picture in picture. I did give The War at Home a second chance during the commercial breaks and it was just as bad as last week (See First Impressions). Well on to my observations:
- We start off with Earth Wind & Fire changing the lyrics to mention different television show. Ironically, most of the show mentioned weren’t even nominated. Granted this was a lot funnier when the Village People opened one of the MTV Movie Awards changing Macho Man into an ode to Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, Psycho (Expletive Deleted). The out of no where, the Black Eyed Peas storm the stage because in their contract with Satan, they are to perform on every awards show. Oscars, you’re next. The best part of this was when the members of both bands ran into the crowd to pick one of the nominees to dance with and the long haired pea started dancing with Raymond’s mom while another totally got shot down by Halle Barry.
- Then our host Ellen comes out for a laugh less monologue. What, they couldn’t get P. Diddy? Ellen brought up that two of the worst disasters in American happen after she was announced to host the Emmy and made a joke out of it. Yeah, that’s not really funny. I read that Pat Robertson blamed Ellen for 9/11 and Katrina. Granted I got this from what can be considered a reliable source (no offence Bob), but if this is true, does that mean that Robertson endorses Arabs who crash planes into building as long as they are protesting gay homosexuals? If so, it’s another reason to hate religious fanatics of all religions.
- Next we have the cast of Family Guy making fun of Desperate Housewives followed by the Desperate Housewives themselves. Wait, cartoons making fun of nominees, where have I seen this? Oh, yeah, Beavis and Butthead at the VMA’s.
- It is extremely disturbing that William Shatner won an acting award. It’s like Jennifer winning a Hip-Hop VMA and Hillary Clinton winning a Grammy. What’s next is Hurley going to win an ESPY?
- The Blue Man Group gave possible the best presentations in awards show history, but I must admit I was a little disappointed that Tobias wasn’t involved.
- And when I thought Veronica Mars couldn’t look any hotter when she was sporting her Madonna wear at her 80’s dance, she topped herself with the leg warmers and sweatshirt over the shoulder look during her performance of the Theme to Fame (click here to download). She gets extra props for not missing a beat even when one of the dancers dropped her. And for anyone who missed last season, if there isn’t a better reason to watch her show, I don’t know what is, well aside from being the best show on television last year. But anyways.
- Taking yet another page out of the VMA playbook they give out best male and female guest star awards at the same time. And to boot, one of them couldn’t read roman numerals. Did he skip fourth grade?
- The best writing awards montage showed exactly why these people should have been nominated. The best was Conan’s speeding though his writes to get to a slow-mo video of himself.
- Letterman comes out to pay tribute to Johnny Carson and this was a lot better than the news anchors tribute.
- Next we had some dude and Macy Gray joined by a choir to do a decent job singing the Jefferson’s theme. My new to top goal is to famous enough in time to be asked to sing the theme to Welcome Back Kotter at next years awards show.
- Winning the Calista Flockhart “I Haven’t Eaten in a Month” Award goes to the chick from Grey’s Anatomy.
- The best part of the night was John Stewart’s pre-tape political commentary, “George Bush hates black (Sabbath).” So Stewart, Letterman, and Conan were all there yet we have to put up with Ellen as the host? Stewie Griffin would have been a better choice to host.
- Of course any Academy Awards show is complete without some old dude who runs the whole thing making an appearance.
- Felicity Huffman is apparently the funniest woman on television. Um, did I miss something? How exactly does this happen? But at least we got to hear the funniest line of the night when Conan said he could finally live out his lifelong dream of disappointing four women at the same time.
- - Donald Trump wins the Emmy Idol. I smell a fix, was Don King involved or something? I would like to say to anyone who actually voted for Trump – You, my sir, are a moron. Now we have to put up with Trump claiming he is the greatest singer in the world for the next five years. Thanks.
- What was up with Hugh Jackman’s beard? Did he seriously let everything grow then shave off only the mustache?
- Lost wins best drama. Ho hum, Veronica Mars was truly the best show last season.
- And because the Emmy loves one last hurrah, Everyone (except me) Loves Raymond sweeps most of the comedy awards. So anyone who wants to win a Emmy, just end your show, you will be a show in. Which is better than the Grammys where you have to die to sweep the awards.
Final Tally
Predicted Correctly: 8 of 22 (.364)
Wanted to Win: 4 of 21 (.190)
During the return of old time rock and roll of the mid 90’s, Blues Traveler made their mark with the breakout album Four. They then followed up with the sadly overlooked Straight on Till Morning. Sadly after that, the band went in a tailspin that was so bad, it landed them their very own Behind the Music. But things have gone better lately which brings us to the latest Blues Traveler album, ¡Bastardos!
The album starts off with You Can’t Thinking About Me, a more artsy type a song than the band is known for. The song stars with some guitars would sound more at home on a Radiohead album along with some voice distortion, but by the time the chorus comes around, it back to more of the traditional bluesy nature of the band. After that is the more playful Amber Awaits which is bouncy much like the earlier Felicia and features the trademark harmonica.
In addition to You Can’t Stop Thinking About Me, expands musically throughout the whole album such as the synthesizer heavy Rubberneck, Nefertiti and also Can’t Win True Love which is also built around a different type of beat. Nail on the other hand is heavy on the bass while John Popper sings in a different cadence. Money Back Guarantee for the first time to my knowledge feature some female backing vocals while She and I utilizes a horn section. But at the heart of the album is a blues influence, harmonica driven songs, and great storytelling such as After What and She Isn’t Mine, that that brought the band fame in the first place.
Song to Download – Amber Awaits
¡Bastardos! gets a ![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
Next up on the Lost knock off tour of the fall season is Threshold. It was being hyped as being the best sci-fi show since the X-Files. Of course this begs the question, has there been any good sci-fi show’s since the X-Files? But anyways. The show follows Dr. Molly Caffery, play by Carla Gugino last seen naked in Sin City, who specializes in on worst cases scenario. Wow, a government official that specializes in solving worst case scenarios, what a novel idea. That may be the biggest science fiction part of the whole show, a government that is actually prepared for disaster. But I digress. One of Caffery’s scenario plays out when something strange happens on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean that essentially prove the existence of extraterrestrials or ET for short.
So the government enlists Caffery to round up a team of experts to examine the ship who really don’t have a choice on whether they want to join or not. The other alterative seem to be some Guatanamo Bay type resort if they don’t help. I do like this and would not have any problem if our own government would do the same thing in extreme situations. The experts in question include Nigel Fenway, who apparently a big thing to Trekkies but us normal people hasn’t a clue who he is. Fenway is forensic microbiologists brought in to study the effects of the aliens have on what they come in contact with. He also seems jaded with the whole thing, but goes along nonetheless. Lucas Pegg is an astronautical engineer who is the only team member who seems happy to be there. But the highlight of the team is Arthur Ramsey, who is the best mathematician in the nation and a well versed linguist. Oh yeah, and he’s a very horny midget (or dwarf, I always get those two confused). The best part of the whole show was when he was caught holding Caffery’s underwear. Tough guy Cavennaugh closes out the team as the muscle. What’s Cavennaugh’s last name? And seriously, what’s with the extra “N”? Well your guess is good as mine. But since he’s black ops, the government may have brainwashed him to forget it like in Men in Black. And the whole team reports to the Deputy National Security Advisor played by Roc himself, Charles S Dutton.
So once the team is assembled they head onto the ship to find only one survivor who happened to be Ethan Rom, who has suddenly become the go-to creepy dude. Something is seriously wrong with the dude who is shot multiple times, jumps into the ocean then somehow makes to Caffery’s house later that night, then disappears into thin air. Then throughout the whole show, there is a pattern that looked exactly like the image that was in the hot chick’s eye on Point Pleasant. But hear in lies the problem of the show for me, it was hyped as an X-Files type of show, yet the show feels like a singular X-Files episode that they turned into a whole series. And that didn’t fair too well when Tru Calling tried to do the exact same thing. Plus, if Mulder and Scully were on this case, they would have the case solved already.
Verdict: I’d like to think I have better things to do on a Friday night than watch this show. Granted I don’t, but I’d like to thing it anyway. Might give it another try because when all the people showed up like it was the night of the living dead intrigued me.
I have been a fan of Survivor since its conception. It is the ultimate competition that challenges both physical and mental abilities and because of that I come back week after week, season after season. But much like the daddy of all reality shows, The Real World, Survivor in recent season has routinely cast beauty over personality. This led me to stop watching religiously The Real World around the Chicago season. Ironically I still love the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. I have yet to reach my breaking point with Survivor because even with the recent lack of quality character, there still is the Lord of the Flies element that keeps me intrigued.
For this season’s cast, it seems to be younger than ever with only four contestants over the age of 35. Well make that three because the oldest person there was already voted off. We even have first celebrity in Survivor history, and by celebrity I mean some one who is so obscure, he couldn’t even make it on The Surreal Life. The “celebrity” in question is former NFL quarterback, Gary Hogeboom. The best part of the whole episode was when Gary explained that he changed his last name so no one else would recognize it. Seriously Gary, 90% of the other contestants were not even born when you were playing. Now Dan Marino, Joe Montana, or Bernie Kosar may have to change their names but not Gary Hogeboom. Not too mention, if he was so worried, why not change the first name too?
The first advertised big surprise happened last night with the return of Stephanie and Bobby Jon from last season’s Palau cast. Much like I hated when they brought back players that were already voted during the Pearl Island season, I really dislike this move. The already lost, it’s time to give two other people a chance. It’s not like either are likely to boost ratings as Survivor has had contestant rating no matter who was in the cast. If I were part of their tribe, they would be public enemy #1 for me.
As for the setting, Guatemala should make for a quality environment. Jungle setting always seems to make the shows better much like the Amazon. One thing that creeps me out is that one tribe will be living in Mayan ruins. That really can’t be a good idea, look what happened to the dudes that went into King Tut’s tomb. And I’m not sure it’s a coincidence that the guy, a.k.a. the warriors of the tribe, which won the chance to live in the ruins, got sick. Had I been in one of the tribes, I would have thrown the challenge because I have no desire to be cursed by some ancient Mayan curse. I would not be at all surprised if the Nakum tribe doesn’t win anything this season because of this.
Now for some prediction and other observations:
Most interesting day job: Magician’s Assistant
Will be most hated: Judd
Will be most loved: Margaret
Most likely to quit: Jamie
Most likely to hook up: Brianna & Jamie
Second big surprise: Winner of the loved one competition will join the game
Girl whom I still have dirty, dirty sex with even if she hadn’t showered for a month: Morgan
Next to be voted off: Blake
Winner: Cindy
Verdict: As much as I’ve complained about the last couple seasons of Survivor, I will still be watching this every Thursday at 8:00 as I tape Smallville and Everyone Hates Chris and will most likely rent this season’s Alias on DVD.
A couple weeks ago I reviewed Tommy Lee’s new album (I’d Rather Play You on My TV) which included the cheesy lyric, “Tommy got tired of Pamela, Ed got tired of Salma, Puffy got tired of J-Lo and Ben did too.” From that I thought that compiling a bunch of other songs that have blatant name dropping would be fun. As always, leave your guesses, artist and title, in the comment section and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. As an added bonus, for lyrics that only contain a person’s first or last name, you will get an extra point if you guess their full name (i.e. in the lyric above, had you said Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson, Ed Norton, Salma Hayek and Ben Affleck, you would had gotten five bonus points). If the person who guesses such a lyrics correctly but doesn’t get the bonus, you can steal their bonus after, and only after the lyric is guessed. The person with the most points will be added to the winners list on my sidebar.
1. Hi Mr. O’Reilly, hope all is well; kiss the plaintiff and the wife-y. (#! Spot - Ludacris; Bonus Bill O'Reilly both guessed by Dane Bramage)
2. Kate Moss can’t find a job. (Intuition - Jewel guessed by Captain Platypus)
3. I met Ali, he said I’m the greatest. (Gettin Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith; bonus - Muhammed Ali both guessed by Daria)
4. Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis baby. (Man on the Moon - R.E.M.; bonus Andy Kaufman & Elvis Pressley both guessed by Daria)
5. I’m just trying to say the way school needs teachers, like the way Kathy Lee needed Regis. (Jesus Walks - Kanye West; bonus - Kathy Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin both guessed by Solace)
6. Now I’m knocking on heaven’s door, like Bob Dylan. (Gone Till November (Video Version) - Wyclef Jean guessed by Dane Bramage)
7. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant to be a straight up racist. (Fight the Power - Public Enemy guessed by Brad; bonus - Elvis Presley guessed by Dane Bramage)
8. Tin soldiers and Nixon’s coming. (Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young guessed by Captain Platypus); bonus - Richard Nixon guessed by Daria)
9. Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television. (We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel guessed by Daria)
10. Bo knows this, and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know jack cause Bo can’t rap. (Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest; bonus - Bo Jackson guessed by Daria)
11. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? (Mrs. Robinson - Simon and Garfunkel guessed by Dane Bramage)
12. I screamed out, “Who killed the Kennedys?” when after all it was you and me. (Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones; bonus - Robert and John Kennedy both guessed by Dane Bramage)
13. His home was Natchez Mississippi, did it like Miles and Dizzy. (Bridging the Gap - Nas and Olu Dara; bonus - Miles Davis & Dizzy Gilespie both guessed by Solace)
14. I heard Neil Young talk about her. Heard ol’ Neil put her down. (Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd guessed by Dane Bramage)
15. (Expletive deleted) Bush, until they bring our troops home, c'mon. (Mosh - Eminem; bonus - George Bush both guessed by Solace)
16. She swears that she’s artsy, but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane. (Comfortable - John Mayer; bonus - Miles Davis and John Coltrane both guessed by Dane Bramage)
17. If it ain’t Chuck D. Jam Master J, know what? They’re losing. (Musicology - Prince guessed by Captain Platypus)
18. Just like the old man in that book by Nabakov. (Don't Stand So Close to Me - The Police; bonus - Vladimir Nabakov both guessed by Dane Bramage)
19. Stevie Wonder sees crack babies. (Fu-Gee-La - The Fugees guessed by Pure Mood)
20. I wanna be Bob Dylan. (Mr. Jones - Counting Crows guessed by Dane Bramage)
21. It’s not Michael Jackson and this is not Thriller. (King of Rock - Run-DMC guessed by Solace)
22. She said “dad’s the one I love the most, but Stipe’s not too far behind.” (Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish; bonus - Michael Stipe guessed by Daria)
23. I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh. (Hey Ladies - Beastie Boys guessed by Pure Mood)
24. My homey Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray. (Gin and Juice - Snoop Doggy Dogg; Dr. Dre nee Andre Young guessed by Pure Mood)
25. A terminator, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Try’n to play me out as if my name was Sega. (Jump Around - House of Pain guessed by Captain Platypus)Congratulations to Dane Bramage who won this month’s Lyrics Quiz with a total 14 points, be sure you stop by October 15th for the next quiz.
Bones
Any show that starts off with a hot chick flashing has got my attention, now the only question is if Bones can keep me at attention after that. The show, itself focuses around Dr. Temperance Brennen, a forensic anthologist, and her team as they help the FBI solve mysteries that involve, ironically enough, bones. On the surface, it looks like CSI: Washington D.C., but Bones has humanity to it, delving into the lives of the characters then he 52 shows of the CBS series.
The shows stars Emily Deschanel, best know for being Zooey sister, who in turn is best known for being random girl #5 in a couple of movies that have shown up on Comedy Central every once in a while, as the Dr. and David Boreanaz, who will be known as Angel for the rest of his life. Boreanaz has been fortunate playing Angel as he was surrounded by great actor that hid his wooden demeanor although his dry wit that he displayed as a vampire comes through in this role. But the breakout stars of the cast are the supporting characters including the uber-smart young dude, the conspiracy theorist who could be an illegitimate child of one of The Lone Gunmen, and the toke hot computer chick, who was the previously mentioned flasher.
The first episode was well contrasted with our fair Dr. being stopped at the airport by homeland security, but it only turns out to be a plot by Angel, who just wants to bring in the Dr., who he affectionately calls Bones because who wants to say Temperance, to help him out on a case. I like how the two have had history and we are brought in after their last case didn’t go too well and how the Dr. dislikes her little nickname, which I can relate to as I’ve been stuck with one I’m not too fond of. But since Bones is the best in the business, Angel has to cave into her request for full disclosure in the case and even asks “Do you want to be Mulder or Scully.” But this leads Bones into some trouble as she is not aware of protocol and breaks a few laws along the way while solving the case at hand, the discovery of an intern who has been missing for a couple years.
Also during the show, for some inexplicably reason, during a montage of Bones putting pieces together, they played Howie Day’s Collide over it. I didn’t realize that this turned into WB show, but then again what else could they play, Alice in Chain’s Them Bones. Or here’s a novel idea, write enough story that you don’t get stuck throwing in a filler montage because you have to fill in enough scenes to air. It’s never a good sign when they throw in filler this early in a series.
Verdict: I’m not the biggest fan of crime dramas, but the first episode was well written and I’ll get the show a couple more viewings as there is nothing much on Tuesdays at 8:00. Plus I’d like to hear the conspiracy try to top his “Monica Lewinski was a sex robot created by the KGB” theory.
Supernatural
Supernatural is the first of many new sci-fi shows that that have flooded the networks this fall after the success of Lost. What seems to set this show apart from the rest is that it seems to go more in the direction of horror while the others look more like a pure Lost knock off of suspenseful sci-fi. There were plenty of “jump out of your seats” moments in the first episode like with the opening and closing scenes. But I’m not really sold on the whole, being scared every week thing. I prefer my horror fix on my own terms, watching a scary movie when I’m in the mood for one, not on a weekly basis.
In between the two scary scenes we are introduced two brothers, one who has taken up the family business of hunting things that go bump in the night, and the other, who is about to go into law school at Stamford. When daddy hunter goes missing, company son recruits college boy to go find him. Apparently daddy was hunting a spirit that has a pension killing cheating men. Oh, and if the man isn’t a cheater, she’ll quickly turn him into one because, even as a spirit, she’s extremely hot. But once the case is solved, and the spirit is eradicated, daddy is still missing, but left a clue to his whereabouts. This is where I got weary because I see no reason why college boy would give up his dreams for a family he really doesn’t care much about. But the closing scene changed everything and was well conceived as a reason college boy would hit the road with the deadbeat brother looking for a deadbeat dad.
The cast is solely made up as with the two brothers. The elder, family business brother is played by the dude last seen as Lana’s evil boyfriend. I can’t express how much I hate the character. The younger college boy apparently is most known for being on Gilmore Girls, not that I would know that by watching it (hey, I’m a guy). Evil Lana boyfriend does a good job as the cocky older brother, but I’m not sold on the younger brother, which could be a problem when there is only one other person in the cast.
There was even a Mulder and Scully reference in the episode, much like in Bones. That can’t really be a good sign and I’m sure all the other Lost wannabes are scrambling to take out their X-Files references as you read this. But what really irked me most about the show is that it ran over five minutes making me miss the season finale of Rescue Me, making me instead have to record the late showing.
Verdict – The ending alone gives it another viewing, but I bet I’ll be watching My Name Is Earl and The Office at 9:00 on Tuesdays. Supernatural could make for a good DVD rental when you need a good scare.
David Gray has been one of my favorite new artists of the new decade. Many people tried before him to mix folk with electronic music and failed miserably, but with the release of White Ladder, Gray seamlessly mixed the two together effortlessly. Gray continued with the equally great A New Day at Midnight. Now he’s back with his latest release, Life in Slow Motion.
The album starts off earnest enough with the lush sounding Alibi with the piano taking center stage while background strings slowly build to accompany the piece. It’s a downer of a song and maybe not the best way to start the album off. Thing get more upbeat with the next song, The One I Love. The song doesn’t quite stand up to his pervious love songs like Be Mine or This Years Love, but it is good nonetheless.
Vocally, Gray show more range on this album such as on From Here You Can Almost See the Sea, he reaches into his falsetto as if he was fronting Coldplay. Musically, Gray has veered away from the techno infused beats focusing more this album on the piano and strings then on drums. Ain’t No Love even starts with some synthesizer that makes you think you’re listening to a song by The Killers.
David Gray is as lyrically as strong as in the past and this album the highlight there is Hospital Food. Another look at the agonizing wait many people have while a loved one is in the hospital, “Tell me something I don’t already know.” In the end, if you are a fan of David Gray’s, you will love this album too. If you are not already a fan, you may want to start with White Ladder and work you’re way up to Life in Slow Motion.
Song to Download – Hospital Food
Life in Slow Motion gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
What better time to debut a new sitcom entitled The War at Home then on the fourth anniversary of 9/11? I’m sure I don’t have to name what network would do such a thing since they have brought us such quality shows as The Littlest Groom and Who’s Your Daddy. If you ask the people at Fox, the show is reminiscent of All in the Family. Umm, okay. Although calling it Married... with Children but without anything funny would be a little more accurate.
So what we get is yet another dad who is having troubles raising his kids with a wife who also works. The daughter is your token slutty girl except that she’s, as she puts it, technically a virgin. I guess we have Bill Clinton to tanks for that type of clarification. But anyways. Then there is the middle brother who is ambiguously gay. Granted this idea of “is or isn’t he” was a whole lot funnier when it was in a form of a cartoon. Lastly is the youngest boy who… well I’m not entirely sure exactly what he brings to the show.
The casting is fairly uninspiring. Of course it can’t be good when you’re show is headlined by Michael Rapaport most notably from the Popcopy commercial. And that’s pretty much it; can anyone name anything else he’s been in that’s good? His imdb.com page read like a who’s who of movies that no one has seen. The rest of the cast is filled with actors who probably won’t work after this show is canceled, and that may come sooner than later.
The pilot of The War at Home centers on the slutty daughter not being allowed to date a college boy so she pretends to date a black dude named Taye, short for Boo-taye, to get back at her parents. And hilarity doesn’t ensue. The only time I actually laughed during the episode involved a flashback featuring Cherry Pie. To make things worse, there are little vinaigrettes of the characters talking to the camera as if they were on a reality show. Here we are told early on by the sexually ambiguous son that he is, in fact, not gay thus ruining his whole plotline for the rest of the show.
Verdict: I think we have a lead candidate for the first show to be canceled.
