The Battle Rounds have always been the worst part of
The Voice, there seems to be more trainwrecks than great performances with everyone else ranging between mediocre to just plain boring and we also tend to lose a bunch of good talent. Things got better last season with the introduction of The Steal and they sped by some of the more boring Battles via montage. The problem last season is most of the Steals seemed to be wasted on unworthy contestants and only two made it to the Live Shows (ironically both were on Team Adam when half of the Steals were formally on his team, none of those of which advanced). The Steals were better utilized this season, though I would have preferred
Jessica Childress or
Brandon Roush (both of who I have a feeling were unlucky enough to perform after all the Steals had been used by the lack of Carson’s uncomfortable, “let me remind you so-and-so is available for a Steal”) had gotten through over the two interchangeable male RnB artists that did get stolen or even
Patrick Dodd, but nothing really that egregious.
I cannot say I missed Cee-Lo that much during the Blind Auditions but he was solely missed in the Battle Rounds, he always had a penchant for awesomely cheesy eighties record and bizarre parings. Aside from the bluegrass version of Burning Love, none of the song choices this round were all that interesting by any of the coaches (of course the
Pat Benatar song was montaged out of the show). But anyway. Surprisingly everyone in my Blind Auditions Power Rankings advanced to the Knockout Rounds (Jessica at #12 was the highest person sent home). Here is my power ranking of those moving onto the Knockout Rounds.
1.
Caroline Glaser (Team
Blake Adam) – All the huge words the judges trot out: diaphanous, ethereal are definitely warranted. Her voice is so soothing and unique they could invent words to describe it. As great as Danielle is (as you will tell by her ranking in a third), Blake not picking Caroline is one of the dumbest coach’s decisions in the history of the show, right up there with Erin Martin over The Shield Brothers.
2.
Ryan Innes (Team Usher) – So we know he can do soul music, and do it very well, now as we transition into the homestretch, I really want to see what else he can do.
3.
Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake) – Danielle’s audition was fun, but wow, she really broke out in the Battle Rounds when most other contestant’s flaws are shown. Her and Caroline put on the third best Battle Round duet in the shows history after Amanda Brown vs. Trevin Hunt and Jessie Campbell vs. Anthony Evans. And now with Caroline out of the way, Danielle established herself as the favorite on Team Blake.
4.
Kris Thomas (Team Shakira) – I do not know why people continue to compare his voice to that of a woman’s. I never once thought that. The guy clearly comes from a line of great RnB tenors like Ralph Tresvant and all Eddie Kendricks of The Temptations.
5.
Sarah Simmons (Team Adam) – Not the best pairing, Sarah is a powerhouse and the other guy was too laid back and the Battle did not work that well. But she has sung two songs that I do not really care for and is still in my top five. I cannot wait to hear something that I actually do like.
6.
CĂ¡thia (Team
Shakira Usher) – The closest Battle possibly ever (as you can tell when you see where her opponent landed). Vocally I give the slight edge to Cathia but…
7.
Mary Miranda (Team Shakira) - …Mary Miranda is the more entertaining personally. Really they could have given the entire hour to these girls and I would not have complained (and this is coming from someone who hates the backstage segments). Though I gave the slight edge to Cathia, Mary could easily leapfrog her (and others) if she does faster songs because this girl is a spitfire. She may not win the show, but she may end up having the best career of anyone this season.
8.
Savannah Berry (Team Blake) – Savannah said she is more of a ballad singer and her up-tempo performance showed that she was right even though it was more fun to sit through than her audition. But now that Blake has amassed a country only team, the question going into the Live Show is will he actually go all young female country singers. If not, Savannah vs. Danielle or Holly seems like the most obvious pairing and may lead to a very hard decision.
9.
Amber Carrington (Team Adam) – The biggest breakout of the Battle Rounds, not only did she decisively win her Battle Round pairing, she managed to bring out Sasha’s flaws, if this were a real boxing match, that would be a monumental feat like Buster Douglas vs. Mike Tyson.
10.
Midas Whale (Team Adam) – I wonder if the accordion is to Midas Whale to what hair is to Samson because their Battle Round was a bit lackluster and Patrick was the clear winner here. They may want to dust off the accordion in the next round because they are on a very strong team and could very well be the odd men out.
11.
Holly Tucker (Team Blake) – After her audition I thought she would be best served sticking to an adult contemporary lane and after hearing sing an up-tempo country song, I still think that.
12.
Jess Kellner (Team Usher) – My biggest problems with the Battle Rounds is good singers can get forced to sing songs that do not fit them or get stuck with singers that they do not blend together well with. Both happened to Jess. Hopefully it was just a Battle Round fluke lik it usually is.
13.
Audrey Karrasch (Team Usher) – Montage win, yawn.
14.
Sasha Allen (Team
Adam Shakira) – Despite her flaws being in full view, losing to Amber may have been the best for her. Now she no longer has to be in anymore silly duets, she is away from the crowded talent on Team Adam and has a much clearer path to the Live Shows with Shakira.
15.
Luke Edgemon (Team
Shakira Blake) – When Luke said he was going to make a strategic decision, it seemed clear to me he was gesturing toward Blake before they cut to commercial (the editors did a really horrible job because I could also clearly hear Adam say the “mmm” of Midas Whale before the ads too) so I got to spend the whole break thinking of what a horrible strategy that was as Blake’s strategy this season is a strict country one. Sure Luke may not have known that Blake was going all country because he had not done that before, but he should had know from last season that Blake had no interest in the Steal and now Luke will just be fodder for some teenage country chick. Should have went with Usher.
16.
Taylor Beckham (Team
Usher Blake) – Welcome to Team Blake, I hope you invested in cowboy boots and quickly learn the Miranda Lambert catalogue or it will be a short stay.
17.
Judith Hill (Team Adam) – I thought she was overrated before, Adam calling her performance the greatest Battle ever only makes worse. It was not the best Battle this season (Caroline vs. Danielle); it was not even the best Battle that episode (Amber vs. Sasha).
18.
Grace Askew (Team Blake) - Montage win, yawn.
19.
Amy Whitcomb (Team Adam) – Montaged twice, but I still have to stand by the Sing-Off alum. But even though Adam took someone to the Live Shows last season who got her first two performances passed over, he also had a much weaker team then and it will be hard for her to slip into the top four on his team even though she would be two or three on the other teams.
20.
Garrett Gardner (Team Shakira) – The token rock dude this season, probably would have preferred Brandon in his spot.
21.
Monique Abbadie (Team Shakira) – She was a little bit too much for me during her audition and cringed when she sounded like she was trying to imitate Lady Gaga in the rehearsals, but she started to impress me with her performance. Could be a dark horse in the Live Rounds.
22.
VEDO (Team Usher) – Dude is very likeable and if I did a Power Ranking of people from the show I would most want to hang with, Vedo would top that list (Non-Hot Chick Catergory) but he hits some bad notes and creates others that just are not there. Hopefully Usher do some better coaching because you can’t not root for this guy.
23.
The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) – Had Blake not gone with the silly all country team strategy, I doubt these guys would have advanced. You cannot tell me they deserved a slot on Team Blake over Caroline. I would probably have Jacqie and Michelle above them.
24.
Tawnya Reynolds (Team Shakira) - Montage win, yawn.
25.
Michelle Chamuel (Team Usher) - Montage win, yawn.
26.
Warren Stone (Team Adam) – Might as well as been montaged because his Battle was kind of a bore.
27.
Karina Iglesias (Team
Adam Shakira) – Had Adam not overhyped the Battle, I wonder if Shakira wastes her Steals that early. I would have rather her Steal Caroline to form Team Diaphanous or even had a Steal left to pick up Jessica.
28.
Orlando Dixon (Team
Usher Adam) – The brilliance of Ain’t No Sunshine is its simplicity. Orlando just oversang the song. When people bring out the unnecessary vocal gymnastic I think back to season one when Blake told one of his contestants, just because you can do that does not me you should.
29.
Shawna P (Team Shakira) – After Caroline, this was the most shocking win of the season. I thought Brandon won that Battle easily.
30.
C. Perkins (Team
Shakira Usher) – I really do not have anything to say about this guy, I think he got montaged and Kris just dominated him in their Battle, nothing really stick out about him.
31.
Josiah Hawley (Team Usher) – He has a serviceable voice which was worthy of a button push, but goodness that was the worse Battle Round performance (Non-Trainwreck Category) in the history of the show. Make me wonder just how bad the montaged Battles were this year if this Battle was shown.
32.
Justin Rivers (Team Blake) – Montaged… twice. The only question now is which teenage country singer he is going to lose to in the Knockout Round.
As I always do, I created an advanced mathematics equation to determine who really has the strongest team (okay, I just gave 1 point to the worst and 32 to the best and added up the teams) and here is where the teams stand:
Team Adam: 149
Team Blake: 138
Team Shakira: 118
Team Usher: 123
Adam opened up his lead from the Battle Rounds (stealing the best singer will help with that) while Usher manage to go from last by a mile to leaping over Shakira. Here are some predictions on who will be advancing to the Live Shows ranking from go ahead and bet the farm to you may want to flip a coin with a dark horse in parentheses:
Team Adam: Judith, Sarah, Caroline, Midas Whale (Amy)
Team Blake: Savannah, Grace, Holly, Danielle (Luke)
Team Shakira: Kris, Sasha, Mary, Monique (Garrett)
Team Usher: Ryan Innes, Vedo, Jess Kellner, Cathia (Michelle)