Lyrics Quiz: Survivor

In honor of the return Survivor last night, I thought I would take the only pop song ever inspired by the show (Destiny Child’s Survivor which they wrote in response that the group kept voting out members like the reality show) and run it through iTunes’ Genius feature and these are the songs that came back. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.


1. Keep talking that mess that’s fine. But could you walk and talk at the same time? And it’s my name that is on that Jag, so remove your bags, let me call you a cab. (Irreplaceable - Beyonce; guessed by Rose)
2. I need a boy to take it over, looking for a girl to put you over. (What's My Name? - Rihanna; guessed by Rose)
3. See my days are cool without you, but I’m hurting while I’m with you, and you know my heart can take no more, I keep on running back to you.
4. The twenty-second of loneliness and we’ve been through so many things. I love my man with all honestly, but I know he’s cheating on me. (Creep - TLC; guessed by Doug)
5. Girl you are close to me you’re like my mother, close to me you’re like my father, close to me you’re like my sister, close to me you’re like my brother. You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing. (All My Life - Love Always - K-Ci and Jojo; guessed by Doug)
6. Pour the wine, light the fire, girl, your wish is my command. I submit to your demands. (I'll Make Love to You - Boyz II Men; guessed by Doug)
7. Tears on my pillow wherever you go. I’ll cry me a river that leads to your ocean. You never see me fall apart. (Emotion - The Bee Gees; guessed by Doug)
8. Now you wonder why woman hate men: the sleepy silent men, the punk domestic violence men. Quick to shoot the scene, stop acting like boys and be men. (Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill; guessed by Angie)
9. Y’all didn’t have no kids, didn’t share no mutual friends, and you told me she turned trick when you broke up in ’96.
10. She has no idea what she’s doing in college. That major that she majored in don’t make no money. But she won’t drop out, her parants will look at her funny. (All Falls Down - Kanye West; guessed by Rose)
11. Thought that she was the one for me. ‘Til I found out she was on her creep. Oh she was sexing everyone but me. (U Remind Me - Usher; guessed by angie)
12. Broken heart again, another lesson learned. Better know my friends or else I’ll get burned. Gotta count on me cause I can guarantee that I’ll be fine. (No More Drama - Mary J. Blige; guessed by Doug)
13. I can’t get it out of my mind. Wow. I think about the girl all the time. Wow, Wow. (No Diggity - Blackstreet; guessed by Doug)
14. Girl I’m in love with you, this ain’t the honeymoon, we’re past the infatuation phase. (Ordinary People - John Legend; guessed by Rose)
15. I keep your picture beside my bed. I still remember everything you said. Always thought our love was so right, guess I was wrong.
16. Why do some people break up? Oh, turn around and make up? I just can’t see, you’d never do that to me. (Let's Stay Together - Al Green; guessed by Doug)
17. Love, love will come find you, just to remind you of who you are. Love, it will forsake you, threaten to break you. Take what you got.
18. What’s your problem? Let’s resolve it. We can solve it, what’s the causes? It’s official, you got issuses, I got issues.
19. I want your body ‘til the very last drop. I want you to holler, when you want me to stop. And who can love you like me? (Nobody - Keith Sweat; guessed by Doug)
20. Every night, on my knees I pray, “Dear Lord, hear my plea: Don’t ever let another take her love from me or I will surely die.” (Just My Imagination (Running Away with Me) - The Temptations; guessed by Angie)
21. Music is a world within itself with a language we all understand. With an equal opportunity for all to sing, dance and clap their hands.
22. Like Dr. Zhivago all my love I’ll be sending and you will never know ‘cause there can be no happy ending. (The Hardest Thing - 98º; guessed by Doug)
23. But how many heartaches must I stand before I find a love to let me live again? (You Can't Hurry Love - The Supremes; guessed by Angie)
24. I left out in a cloud of taillights and dust. Swore I wasn’t coming back. Said I’d had enough. Saw you in the rear view standing, fading from my life. But I wasn’t turning round. No not this time.
25. That’s why fake (expletives deleted) get fake (expletive deleted) digits and fake (expletive deleted) players get a real player hating ‘em.

The Twenty-Five Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever

To show you just how shocked that Ozzy and Coach were the ones brought back for this season of Survivor, after the show announced they were bringing back Redemption Island I was so convinced that the show would bring back Matt from last season (and probably Andrea with him as the two people that returned from Redemption Island) that I started working on a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever because Matt trying to rejoin the tribe who already booted him was one of the dumbest moves ever. Instead of going with obvious selections, apparently Jeff Probst randomly pulled two names out of his hat to come up with Ozzy and Coach. Luckily neither of them are the smartest tools on the beach so here are a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever:



1. Erik Reichenbach (Fans vs. Favorites) - Giving up immunity his Immunity Necklace to Natalie; promptly gets voted out (please note Erik is like the Johnny Vander Meer of Survivor, this is a record that will never be broken. To do so, one would have to get voted out with an Immunity Idol in their pocket, go to Redemption Island, come back into the game and proceed to give someone the Immunity Necklace and promptly get voted out to move Erik from number one on this list).

2. Tyson Apostol (Heroes vs. Villains) - Flipping votes for absolutely no reason and prompltly getting voted out because of switching votes.

3. James Clement (China) - Getting voted out with two immunity Idols in his pocket.

4. JT Thomas (Heroes vs. Villains) – It is hard to put some who has won on this list, but dude gave his Immunity Idol to Russell which was then used to vote him out.

5. Matt Elod (Redemption Island) – Going back to his former Ometepe after returning from Redemption Islandonly to promptly getting sent right back there by them.

6. Jason Siska (Fans vs. Favorites) - Thinking a piece of driftwood was an Immunity Idol, convincing that Eliza that she should play the driftwood, then getting voted out with a real Idol in his pocket.

7. Lex Van den Burghe (All-Stars) - Saving Amber because Boston Rob asked him to, then gets voted out by Rob because he lost the numbers by keeping Amber.

8. Colbie Donaldson (The Australian Outback) – Not choosing the easy win over Keith, instead loses to Tina in the Final Tribal Council.

9. Ometepe Tribe (Redemption Island) - Letting Boston Rob win by putting up no effort, instead playing for second place.

10. Russell Hantz (Heroes vs. Villains) - Playing a type a game that guarantees he would never win enough votes at the Final Tribal Council.

11. Yau Man / Andria "Dreamz" Herd (Fiji) Yau Man stupidly gave Dreamz a truck if he promised to give him the Immunity Necklace if he won it. Dreamz reneged and was rewarded with zero votes at the Final Tribal Council.

12. Ian Rosenberger (Palau) - Quit the final three immunity challenge (after parcicipating for twelve hours) then asked to be voted out.

13. Jonathan Penner (Race Wars) – Mutinying, then getting voted out by his new tribe.

14. Saboga Tribe (All-Stars) - Building their shelter by digging a hole in the sand.


15. Amanda Kimmel (Heroes vs. Villains) - Giving Danielle the Hidden Immunity Idol clue back (not to mention her poor performance in her two final Tribal Councils).

16. Zapatera Tribe (Redemption Island) - Throwing a challenge to get rid of Russell, then going on to lose three of the next four challenges going into a merge where they were outnumbered.

17. Randy Bailey (Ghana) / Jamie Dugan (China) - Playing fake Hidden Immunity Idols.

18. Burton Roberts (Pearl Islands) - Throwing a challenge then promptly gets voted off.

19. Marty Piombo (Nicaragua) - Giving Sash his Hidden Immunity Idol.

20. Sean Kenniff (Borneo) – Using an Alphabetical voting system which his competitors used against him.

21. Clay Jordan (Thailand) - Berating jury members at his Final Tribal Council, a vote he could have won.

22. Brendan Synnott (Tocantins) - Announcing he has an immunity idol, does not play it, gets voted out.

23. Jolanda Jones (Palau) - Picking the only tribe to never win an Immunity Challenge and being first voted out by her tribe.

24. Rafe Judkins (Guatemala) - Releasing Danni from their promise of taking each other to the Final Tribal Council, gets voted out by her.

25. Lillian Morris (Pearl Island) – Choosing to take Sandra to the Final Tribal Council over the despicable Johnny Fairplay.

Survivor: South Pacific premieres tonight at 8:00 on CBS with an expanded ninety minute episode. As for a preseason pick, I’ll go with Sophia Clarke but will be rooting for Rick Nelson, father of the twins in Nelson, because he has gown the most awesome mustache since coming back to life.

You Might Find it Cheap but You’re Never Gonna Find it Free

Blitzen Trapper were one of the bands that made my recent Best of Neo-Folk sampler and like most of the bands on the list, calling them just plain folk is going a disservice to them because they do more than just down with an acoustic guitar and churn out mellow tunes. The group’s latest album American Goldwing is their most eclectic to date with early eighties Tom Petty rock (album opener Might Find it Cheap), fuzzed out sixties garage band (Your Crying Eyes), seventies freak-out rock (Street Fighting Sun), alt-country from the late nineties (the title track), and possibly the greatest song The Band never recorded (Fletcher).

But the standout tracks are when the band slows things down and brings out that folksier sound. The mellowest tracks are Taking it Easy Too Long and album closer Stranger in a Strange Land, both of which are storytelling at its best. While Love the Way You Walk Away is the band at its friskiest and is song that just begs to play the next time you are out driving though your local country roads, preferably at night. Astronaut is a sweet ballad that turns into a country tune halfway through before returning back to how it started.

Song to Download – Love The Way You Walk Away

American Goldwing gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television - 9/12/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Michael Jackson – Das Racist



Maybe because the Das Racist track is pretty weak, their video tribute to Michael Jackson was not as entertaining as it should be, at least not the first last supper for dictators scenes. It does get better at the end because how can you not enjoy any morphing sequence and I swear I saw Alan Tudyk in there somewhere.


Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift



Here is a drinking game for all you degenerates out there: take a shot whenever Taylor Swift whips her hair; double if it’s in slow motion.


Marvin & Chardonnay - Big Sean featuring Kanye West & Roscoe Dash



Remember back in the 90’s all you need was Hype Williams to direct your video to break you? Ah the good old days. Although this Big Sean video stylistically looks a little too much like Kanye’s Golddigger video, I’m pretty sure I saw one of the same chicks from that video too.


Holy Holy – Wye Oak



Here is a fun video from Wye Oak for an amusement park theme. To think it has been over fifteen years since Mariah Carey flawlessly lip-syced on a rollercoaster in the Fantasy video (as if learning Pearl Jam’s Ten recently turned twenty years old last month didn’t make me feel old enough already).

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/10/11

Quote of the Week: This ain’t a job. It ain’t an occupation. It's a calling. (Tommy, Rescue Me)

Song of the Week: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida – Iron Butterfly (as played on the bagpipes, Rescue Me)

Big News of the Week: GOP Debate: I really do not pay too much to debates until about a month before people actually start voting, but I usually still tune in to the early ones. But this year’s Republican debates have been excruciationing to sit through I finally figured out why: where is Jimmy McMillan? I thought he was going to run as a Republican nominee for the president this election cyce yet he has yet to eb invited to any of the debates. Sure I do not actually pay it, but is the rent still not too damn high?


The Lying Game: Wow, the I accidently tipped the guy a fifty instead of a five and no do not have to pay the bill was the greatest move ever. And if it was not clear enough that the dude was poor, hustling at golf pretty much sealed it. But what made me laugh the most was when the dance instructor stopped things because of statutory reasons. It was almost a direct shot at the other show created by the same writer, Pretty Little Liars, with it’s icky teacher / student relationship. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: And fears I had about the show continuing its slump from last season were quickly laid to rest because it was back to its season two glory right from the start. It was nice to see the dude from Terriers take up shop in Charming, adding a nice wrinkle to the town, although it took me a while to recognize without the beard. Also taking a while to place was the new assistant U.S. attorney. I recognized him right away, but could not remember what he played. The second scene I remembered he was a priest, then the third time he appeared I finally remembered he was on Deadwood (yet another actor from that show that made its way to Charming). You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Also check out my season (series) review of Rescue Me.

Free Download of the Week: Little Lie – Lindi Ortega (Spinner)

Deal of the Week: Save up to 57% on Blu-Ray Favorites & More (Inception, The Dark Knight, 300)

New Album Release of the Week: Wynton Marsalis & Eric Clapton Play The Blues

New DVD Release of the Week: Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Henry Kissinger arguably had more to do with shaping the post-war policy of the United States than anyone else and Monday he sits down with the National Geographic Channel at 8:00 to talk about it. The two hour special comes from twenty-five hours of interviews and below is a sneak peak:

Kissinger


Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00 on NBC: With Friday Night Lights ending its run this summer, Parenthood inherits the title of best show on network television (not surprisingly they share producers). If my memory serves me correctly, Adam quite his job just after knocking up his wife even though it was his sister Julia that was trying to get pregnant. Both Crosby and Haddie had sex with FNL alum to disastrous consequences. While Amber decided college was not for her much to the distain of Sarah. While Drew continues to stay in the background.


With 9/11 tomorrow, if you already inundated with retrospectives, here is another one to check out: Beyond 9/11: Portraits of Resilience which will debut tomorrow at 8:46 A.M., ten years to the minute the first airplaine hit the World Trade Center on HBO in association with Time magazine. Check out a trailer below:

Around the Tubes - 9/9/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on True Blood, Psych, Fix This Kitchen, The Hour, From the Sky Down, The Car Show, Gigolos, Dean Martin, Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen, Screen Actors Guild, TV Guide, and Jillian Michaels.

- True Blood closes out its fourth season this Sunday at 9:00 on HBO. Here is a sneak peak:

Season 4 Finale: Death Is Coming

- Fans of USA’s Psych will want to head over to psych.usanetwork.com by September 21 to sign up for a chance to win a free pair of tickets to Fan Appreciation Day on October 6 in New York City. Stars and creator of the show will screen the sixth season premiere and participate in a Q&A for 500 fans. Not feeling lucky, the site will also stream live coverage.

- If you are like me and stare at your kitchen every night wishing it would magically create itself more counter space, here is a show for you: Fix This Kitchen whose new season premieres tomorrow at 9:30 AM on A&E. Check out a promo below (and if anyone at A&E is reading this, I my kitchen, which is stuck in the seventies, available to feature on the show).



- In this month’s New Yorker, Nancy Franklin reviews the BBC series The Hour.

- Last night From the Sky Down premiered at the Toronto Film Festival and for those that were not in Canada can see the documentary stateside when it hits Showtime Saturday October 29 at 8:00. The documentary sees members of U2 discuss the making of Achtung Baby which turns twenty this year (wow, really, that makes me feel old) and is directed by Academy Award winner Davis Guggenheim. Check out a trailer below:



- Next week on The Car Show (Wednesday at 10:00 on Speed), Adam Carolla will welcome special guest Bruce Jenner.

- Fans of Showtime’s Gigolos note that the new season has a premiere date: October 20 at 11:00. For those that need to catch up, the season one replay began last night and will continue to air Thursdays at 11:00.

- Autumn officially starts in two weeks so it is time to get ready for new Christmas albums to hit store shelves and starting things off is Dean Martin’s My Kind of Christmas
which you can pick up starting September 20. The album will feature a duet with Scarlett Johansson on I’ll Be Home for Christmas along with thirteen other holiday songs.

- You have a week and a half to prepare yourself for the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen featuring roaster Mike Tyson. Yes Charlie Sheen and Mike Tyson will be in the same room at the same time. You have been warned.

The Roast of Charlie Sheen	Mon, Sept 19 10/9c
Driving the Roast Express
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central Funny TV Shows Roast of Charlie Sheen

- TNT has just announced that Mary Tyler Moore will be this year’s recipient of the Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award which will be handed out at the 18th annual award show January 29 to air on the channel.

- TVGuide.com has released something called the Social Power Ranking where users can easily find where they can discuss a particular show or episode, right from the TVGuide.com homepage.

- Jillian Michaels will be October’s covergirl for Redbook which is hitting stores next week. Inside she talks about adopting a baby from the Democratic Republic of the Congo and leaving The Biggest Loser.



- In this week’s political press release of the week, why let the five nut jobs in Iowa determine election results with their silly straw poll? Now anyone in America can participate in the Comic Book’ First Straw Poll. Pre-Order your favorite candidate’s comic before September 29 to have your voice heard.

You Need Two Things to Survive: Sex and Fire, One's no Good without the Other

For almost two seasons it was clear someone was not going to make it to the series finale of Rescue Me. It has been a long time since anyone lst their life in the line of duty, Damien came the closest being relegated to a vegetative state. If someone were to go Tommy would be the obvious choice because creator Denis Leary seems like the guy who would like to watch his own funeral as a fallen hero. Lou’s health made him another prime candidate as well as Chief Finberg who had some mental health problems. Black Shawn just got married and being happy never tends to last on shows like this. But it never crossed my mind the whole crew would go out in a blaze of glory, but there was Lou eulogizing five caskets in a church. Oh, wait, that was just a dream sequence. Nevermind.

That pretty much sums up the last couple seasons of Rescue Me: big build up with little payoff. Off the top of my head I cannot think a show the utilized the “Just Kidding, it’s Just a Dream Sequence” plot more than this show. Tommy fantasizing about taking a drink accounted for about half of them. And that does not even take into account the time he was drinking and talked to all the dead people in his life (or that one season where he saw Jesus and Mary Magdalene) or the times he would take a drink, talk to the dead, and then spit the liquor out. Apparently he has finally learned to chat up the dead with drinking as shown in the final scene.

After Tommy wakes up at the beginning of the finale, we learn that Lou was the only one that did not make it out the building alive and the remaining guys were left to memorialize the fallen lieutenant. After another rocky season, the death brought the show back to its roots focusing on the guys in the firehouse ranging from heartwarming to hilarious, Rescue Me really did locker room talk better than any show ever on television. Sure the scene where Tommy delivering his kid by himself in under a minute was completely absurd. And how can Tommy reject baby names for being to gay when Shea Gavin sounds like the gayest French restaurant ever? But anyway.

As strong as the series finale was, it does not hide the fact that Rescue Me should have ended about two seasons ago when the show shifted from being about the firefighters to a show about the Tommy, Shelia, and Janet love triangle. At that point the show seemed like it was just feeding Leary’s ego where he got to simulate sex with every hot guest star that walked on the set then the tribute to the profession it started out as. Then we started getting more painfully long scenes that left you looking at the clock seeing if it was actually lasting as long as it felt. Even though it could have ended a couple years ago and everyone would have been happier for it, the final shot was a fitting ending for a show born out of 9/11 just days before its tenth year anniversary.

Rescue Me 7.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Rescue Me: The Series gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television - 9/7/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

The Scientist – Willie Nelson



Just in case you did not think Willie Nelson covering Coldplay was random enough, here come the music video presented by Chipotle, that fast food restaurant you are familiar with but never actually visited, about, um, I have no idea. Are we not supposed to eat pork or something?


A Long Time - Mayer Hawthorne



The latest from Mayer Hawthorne is a good enough song, but the rediscovered VHS tap has been done before and better by multiple artists (see Snoop Dogg). Okay seeing some dude doing the Thriller dance is still entertaining and the random country jingle. I cannot believe Don Draper okayed that to air.


Love the Way You Walk Away – Blitzen Trapper



You may remember Blitzen Trapper from my Best of Neo-Folk and the boys have a new album coming out soon and here is their first single. Even though I have a bunch of their songs on my iPod, I new the band consisted of lead singer Josh Groban, keyboardist Napoleon Dynamite, and the dude from The Civil Wars on bass.


Hot Buns – Foo Fighters



Um, so the Foo Fighters created this video to promote their upcoming tour. Just do not ask me why they decided to do so by dressing up by Willie Nelson, Rob Zombie, and ZZ Top. For those braver than me, there is an uncensored version.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions for 2011 Fall Television

How fitting that the day after Labor Day the fall television season unofficially starts off with the return of Sons of Anarchy. So I thought I would look at the five biggest questions going into Fall.


1. Will Beavis and Butt-Head Still Be as Funny? Somebody recently ask me this and my simple question was no not because it would be stale but simply because we were fifteen years older than when it first came on. But from the promo where they watch Jersey Shore, there will still be plenty to laugh at, at least nostalgically.

2. Can The Walking Dead Match its Behind the Scenes Drama on Scene? I was not enamored with the first season as some were (it at limes moved as slow as some of the zombies on the show), but I still enjoyed it. Yet since the show ended its six episode run the show has made headlines for all the wrong reasons. Most concerning was AMC forcing show runner Frank Darabont, the guy who brought the comic book to the small screen and wrote and directed the Pilot and replaced him with a dude whose last two lines on his resume are Hawthorne and Crash.

3. Can Sons of Anarchy Bounce Back? Let’s be honest, the Irish storyline was painfully bad. It was a two-three episode arc that they stretched into a full season. Now with Ireland in the rearview mirror, it looks like the show is going back to the Jax vs. Clay storyline that made the first two seasons so compelling, so hopefully so if the fourth season.

4. Should I Be Excited for Something “From the Writers of Lost”? Once Upon a Time toped my list of Most Anticipated Shows of Fall 2011 but I do have big reservations about the pedigree. Hopefully the creators of the show look at how their bosses flubbed Lost and learn from their mistakes, because if done right Once Upon a Time can be a grand television show.

5. Can The Sing-Off Transition into a Weekly Contest? The Sing-Off was a nice winter diversion when there was nothing else on in the two weeks leading into Christmas but now it is going head to head with the befuddling reality ratings king, Dancing with the Has Beens and Nobodies. The show was lucky to lose its one link and made a huge upgrade by bringing in Sara Bareilles. But I have not liked the song selections from the promos. Seriously, can we please put a moratorium on people singing Rolling in the Deep who are not named Adele?


Since you cannot have light without dark, here are the least anticipated questions of fall:

1. Does Kate Beckett Survive? (Spoiler Alert for Stupid People!!!) Yes.

2. Ozzie or Coach? First off I hated bringing back Boston Rob and Russell and hoped Survivor would never do that again, or the stupid Redemption Island twist. Of course they brought back both. After it was announced that it was going to happen, I initially thought bringing back Matt and Andrea, the two people who were brought back from Redemption Island, would be a no brainer. (I secretly hoped they would go Erik and Matt as a battle between the dumbest Survivors ever). But then they revealed the two returning contestants would be… Ozzie and Coach? What?!? Was there anyone sitting at home thing, “you know who I want to see more of: Ozzie”? Survivor has come off of three of its four worst seasons in a row, I fear this season will make it four of the worst five.

3. Will X-Factor Outsuckshine American Karaoke? Let me get this straight, the show is being judged by a Pussycat Doll (on her fifth reality show), someone who has not had a hit in two decades, and the biggest douchebag. The real question is why would anyone watch this?

4. How Will Morgan Use the Intercet? Hopefully it kills him in the first episode back. If not the show may go out with a whimper not a bang.

5. Who Is the Titular Character on How I Met Your Mother? If I had made this list for the last five years, this question would have made it ever time. I cannot even remember the last time I cared who the Mother is.


And here is what I will be watching this fall and when they return. Mark your calendars.

Mondays
8:00 – The Sing-Off (NBC) 9/19
8:00 – How I Met You Mother (CBS) 9/19
8:00 – The Lying Game (ABC Family) airing now; note the new starting time starting next week
8:30 – 2 Broke Girls 9/19 (premieres at 9:30 before moving to its regular timeslot)
10:00 – The Playboy Club (NBC) 9/19
10:00 – Castle (ABC) 9/19

Tuesdays
10:00 – Parenthood (NBC) 9/13
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (FX) Tonight
10:00 – Covert Affairs (USA) 11/1

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: South Pacific (CBS) 9/14
8:30 – Free Agents (NBC) 9/14 (premieres at 10:30 before moving to its regular timeslot)
9:00 – Modern Family (ABC) 9/21
10:00 - Revenge (ABC) 9/21

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (CBS) 9/22
8:00 – Community (NBC) 9/22
10:00 – Beavis and Butt-Head (MTV) 10/27

Fridays
Chuck (NBC) 10/21
Grimm (NBC) 10/21

Sundays
8:00 - Once Upon a Time (ABC) 10/23
9:00 – The Walking Dead (AMC) 10/16
10:00 – Pan AM (ABC) 9/25
10:00 – Homeland (Showtime) 10/2
10:00 - Hell on Wheels (AMC) 11/6
TBA - Leverage (TNT) 11/27

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/3/11

Quote of the Week: Does anybody know what tonight is… Lower your hand if you are going to say the season finale of Glee, I (expletive deleted) hate that show. (Captain Dashall, Death Valley)

Song of the Week: Someone Like You – Adele (Video Music Awards)

Big News of the Week: Video Music Awards Still Make Me Feel Old: I actually missed watching the show live because when I tuned in I thought the MTV feed somehow got mixed up with a local access channel airing the worst community theater version of Streetcar Named Desire ever. So I went ahead and watched Leverage instead. I realized my mistake when I watched a re-air of the show. Oops. Here are some thoughts:

- Best performances of the night in this order: Adele, Kanye West and Jay-Z, Young the Giant, Beyoncé.

- Oddest moment of the night goes to Britney Spears who in lieu of giving an acceptance speech for the Video Vanguard Award just introduced Beyoncé.

- I feel as if we failed as a society if Chris Brown is allowed to perform on a national stage. Dude should be trolling in relative obscurity by now; it is not like the guy has much talent to get away with all the crap he has pulled. And who does he think he’s fooling by wearing the drive thru microphone? A four year old could tell he was not really singing.

- The Amy Winehouse tribute was weird all around considering she never once appeared on the show (she was set to appear with the house band during the disastrous Las Vegas experiment but had her visa rejected) and rarely even appeared on the channel and just released one album anyone cared about. Then Bruno Mars chose to perform an obscure (at least here stateside) Mark Ronson cover of a Zutons song that Winehouse sang on instead of one of her own songs.

- Lastly, and this is for all award shows, not just the VMA’s, stop inviting artists to perform if every third word you are going to bleep out anyway. And if you are an artist who curses every third word, either chose a different song or change your lyrics, because it may seem like artistic integrity to perform your song as is, but it just comes off as a really crappy performance on television.


Leverage: Holy Dr. Abbot sighting! But I am disappointed in myself that I did not realize the chick was Sterling’s daughter, they really beat you over the head with those hints. You can stream recent episodes on TNT.tv. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

The Lying Game: The dude from Heroes remains to be the most interesting character on the show (how he was not in the Pilot is befuddling), him showing up in Los Angeles was really creepy. And I am beginning to wonder if either of his kids are his, neither of them look much lke him (but that could just be casting directors not caring). You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I cannot believe I just made my first ever Better Than Ezra joke during my mid-season wrap up of the show (see Two Can Keep a Secret if One of The Is Dead). I rally dropped the pop culture ball on that one. I promise when the show comes back, I will make at least one Better Than Ezra joke for every episode he is in. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Rescue Me: I have longed believed that Tommy would not make it to the end of the show and that one other fireman would die this season. But it never crossed my mind that they would kill off the entire crew. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Rescue Me on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Ghost on the Canvas - Glen Campbell (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This week you can get albums by Mumford and Sons, Coldplay, Eric Clapton, and Carrie Underwood for five dollars.



New Album Release of the Week: In The Grace Of Your Love - The Rapture

New DVD Release of the Week: Community: The Complete Second Season

Video of the Week: Mel Brookes and Dick Cavett have been chatting it up for four decades and now they are doing it one more time for an HBO special to air this Friday at 9:00. Here is a sneak peak:



Next Week Pick of the Week: Rescue Me, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX: It is an end of an era Wednesday as Rescue Me finishes it run just days before the tenth anniversary of 9/11.

Around the Tubes - 9/2/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Sons of Anarchy, Border Wars, Fall TV, Community, The Big C, Web Therapy, and TNT Mystery Movie Night.


- Sons of Anarchy returns to FX this Tuesday at 10:00 and if you need a refresher course, below is a recap of season three (though I would personally like to forget most of it). Here are links to recaps of season one and season two.

Season 3 Recap


- Also returning in the next couple days is Border Wars on the National Geographic Channel. This Sunday the show is airing new back to back epsodes starting at 9:00. Here is a sneak peak of what you can expect:

Big Big Bust


- Do not ask me who they surveyed, but Terra Nova, Ringer, and Prime Suspect topped TV Guide’s list of The 10 Most Anticipated New Fall Shows. In fact none of my Five Most Anticipated Shows of Fall 2011 made their top ten.

- Community has promised to be less weird than the first two years and just how do they plan to do that: a song and dance number of course.

Community Is Back


- CBS has recently released their CBS Fall Preview app for the iPad where NCIS’s Pauley Perrette guides you three the networks five new shows hitting the channel this fall. If you are too poor or not pretentious enough to own an iPad, head over to cbs.com for exclusive content for all of CBS’s new and returning series.

- The Big C fans rejoice, the show has been renewed for a third season. The second season continues to air Mondays at 10:30 on Showtime until the September 26 season finale.

- In other Showtime news, there will be a mini-Friends reunion on Web Therapy when Courteney Cox stops by the show to play an internet psychic who turns to therapy to regain her powers

- Last week I gave you the rundown of TNT Mystery Movie Night and here is one more the network recently added to the schedule. Silent Witness is set to premiere Wednesday December 7 at 9:00 The movie stars Dermot Mulroney (Zodiak, Copycat) as prominent defense attorney Tony Lord, who returns to his hometown to defend the teacher, played by Michael Cudlitz (TNT’s Southland). Tony’s involvement re-opens the heartache from his own high school days, when he was a student falsely accused of murdering his first love. Then on Tuesday December 13at 9:00 they will air Good Morning, Killer. William Devane (24) will play Everett Morgan “Poppy” Gray, the grandfather of Bell’s FBI Special Agent Ana Gray, an undercover operative tracking down a serial kidnapper. Titus Welliver (The Good Wife, Lost) will play FBI Special Agent Mike Donato, Ana Gray’s FBI partner.

Everybody Wants to go Forever I just Wanna Burn up Hard and Bright

Ryan Adams went on an amazing streak during the 00’s releasing an album a year for the first five years then three alone in 2005, all of them managed to be at the very least good. We are currently in his slow period where he has only released four albums in the last six years, with another set to drop next month. Though all of his albums are solid, his first two solo records stand out above the rest with his sophomore outing Gold being, well, the gold standard and this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame.

The album starts off with New York, New York, an ode to a city that was about to change forever, the music video featuring a still intact city skyline was filmed on September 7th 2001. Even though it was recorded months before the attacks, the song became a fitting tribute to the city and its strengths and even without the sentimentality of its release date, New York, New York remains Adams’ best song to date.

Ryan puts the alt in his country on the next song where he breaks out his harmonica for Firecracker, a hoedown for the rock set. Adams mellows out for Answering Bell with his buddy Adam Duretz on backing vocals. Further in the album, Enemy Fire is just straight ahead rock and roll with a tinge of punk. Gold is still Ryan Adams’s most diverse album stylistically and definitely makes for a better listening experience, especially at a full seventy minute album.

But let’s face it; nobody does depressingly sad songs better than Ryan Adams and you can finally break out the Prozac for the fourth track, the drink alone anthem La Cienega Just Smiled. And you really cannot get more pretentious than a balled named Sylvia Plath. Then right around the time Gold hits its halfway point, Adams breaks out the epic almost ten minute Nobody Girl that could have gone on for a half an hour and I do not think any fan would complain.

If there is one depressingly sad song that stands above the rest is When the Stars Go Blue (which has almost become a standard thanks to the cover by The Corrs and Bono). The song should be near the top of every breakup playlist from now until eternity where your heartbreaks with every crack in the singer’s voice. It has been a while since Ryan dams has written any new material (by his standards) but I am sure we will hear more songs like this when Ashes & Fire comes out.

Two Can Keep a Secret if One of Them Is Dead

I am confused. Keep in mind this is a statement I never made in six years of watching Lost (alright I may have said that I was confused that that was the best ending they could come up with). But there I was sitting on my couch going, “huh” at the end of the season summer finale of Pretty Little Liars. I could have sworn that Jenna and the cop outted themselves as Allison’s killer and as the people leading the Liars on the wild goose chase. Yet at the end it was a shadowy figure releasing the headshrinker. Does that mean that Jenna and / or the cop are not “A”? Do they know who “A” is and were copying that person? Were they ones that pulled Emily out of the barn? If I stopped caring about this show months ago, my head might hurt.

Just as confusing with the scene with Allison. I have longed believed that she was “A” but that is getting harder to come up with a good theory of how to explain how she mangaged to make it of having her head cracked by a shovel (unless the show devolves into a Pulse situation; hopefully not because that movie was so bad Jason Segal wrote a joke about it into the script of Forgetting Sarah Marshall making fun of the film to Kristen Bell’s face). Nor do I understand Allison’s reason of not telling Emily who “A” was because if two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, does that not mean that Emily would be able to keep the secret if Allison was dead? Or were subtly implying that Allison is not dead theory if in fact right? Okay, I may have a small migraine.

With that said, after a couple strong episodes going into the hiatus, they may have pulled back in. Of course a good race against time episode and a big reveal goes along way these days (though the show still needs more of the latter). “A” even forced the Liars into their biggest mind game ever, even making Hanna stop her father’s wedding (hopefully the no longer step sister sticks around to exact some revenge because she is making for a more entertaining antagonist than “A” these days). “A” even took a turn for the morbid by leading Emily into her secret wish: a forced suicide. Also here’s hoping that Mrs. Montgomery’s black mail finally gets Ezra out of town and ends that creepy relationship. At this point almost any suitor for Aria would be better than Ezra.

Though I am a bit confused going into the hiatus, I am ready to bump Pretty Little Liars back into the guilty pleasure category after being in just guilty for most of the season. Hopefully they straighten things out when they come back which looks to be for a while because it will be sometime after the special (presumably all flashback) Halloween episode.

I'll Take My Words and Turn Them into Sounds, it Will Survive

It is hard to go into the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album without some reservations. The last time they recorded an album without guitarist John Frusciante it was so bad Tiny Tim could have placed him instead of Dave Navarro and would have been just as poorly received. It seemed as if Dave and the remaining Peppers did not bother to adapt to each other’s style and the fans were left to listen to one hot mess of an album. Thankfully that lasted for just one album and John rejoined the band to record their next three albums.

But then Frusciante up and quit at the end of the band’s last tour leaving the band go on the look for their eighth and this time around they wisely did not fill John shoes instead opting for band friend John Klinghoffer to record their tenth album I'm With You with. Unlike virtuoso Frusciante or frantic Navarro, Klinghoffer is a much more traditional, fading into the background in most songs and really helps transition into a more adult sound the band has drifting towards their last couple albums.

Flea has always been the MVP of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but with a new guitarist in the fold, he really stepped his game up for the album carrying the band on his back on many of the stand out tracks. Like on the first single The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie where he lays one of the best grooves of his career. Almost as good is the album opener Monarchy of Roses where Flea’s driving bass gives the song a very disco feel to it (and Flea must have been listen a lot to the genre because many of the songs on the album would not sound too out of place at a seventies disco).

Even with a reinvitalized Flea, it is hard not to listen to I’m With You and wonder what it would have sounded like with a more proficient Frusciante. Some songs you are just waiting for that one special moment of weirdly awesome riff you have come expecting from a Red Hot Chili Peppers album, and sometimes it just never comes. If this is I’m With You is the start of the new mature era of the band, it is off to a solid start as long as they build on it in subsequent albums. Like more instrumentations like the trumpet on Did I Let You Know. And more songs in the theme of Brendan’s Death March (on their first day of writing the album, the band got word that friend Brendan Mullen had passed away), the band best subdued song to date.

Song to Download – Brendan's Death Song

I’m With You gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television - 8/29/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Muppet Show Theme Song - The Muppets & OK Go



I wonder if OK Go was picked to remake The Muppets Theme because of the video because the song is not even close the best Muppets Theme ever. But you have to love the part where the Muppets are revealed to be controlling OK Go.


Up All Night – Blink182



The best thing I can say about the new Blink182 song is that it is a more welcome comeback then the recent Limp Bizkit ateempted comeback. If nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three, I can image what they think of you when you are thirty-three.


Called Out of the Dark – Snow Patrol



I really liked Snow Patrol first album, but it seems like every subsiquant album get a little more bland to the point when their last song was featured in the trailer of a horrible chick flick (see Leap Year, or better yet, do not, it was horrible). And for the sound of their first single, the next album will not break that trend. But at least the video shows off a funny side for the first time.


1+1 – Beyoncé



When I reviewed the latest Beyoncé album (see You a Bad Girl and Your Friends Bad Too) I thought I liked this song, but I did not remember how annoying her pronunciation of “you” was. It is really distracting. But I still like the guitar solo at the end.

Previewing George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview

For my generation, September 11, 2001 is the defining moment that we will be talking about until the day we die the way previous generations talked about the Kennedy Assassination and Pearl Harbor. Everyone has a story about where they were and what they were doing the day the Twin Towers. But there may not be a more compelling story that someone can tell that was not actually in New York that day then of President George W. Bush.

Bush only granted one interview to commemorate the tenth anniversary of the date and that will be airing tonight on the National Geographic Channel at 10:00. George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview, the forty-third president goes into detail of what he did that day, starting with a mundane run and ending with a speech to the nation in the Oval Office. W. goes into detail of what was going through his mind in that classroom, where he went in Air Force One after he left Florida, his decision to shoot down any commercial airline that did not respond, and even his one attempt at humor he made that day.

This interview is not an overview of the entire George W. Bush presidency, so do not expect him to explain Katrina, the economic meltdown at the end of his term, and the wars he waged are just alluded to. Topics remain only focused on that one day and the direct aftermath and ends with Bush famously on the rubble in New York City with the megaphone. There is a quick epilogue where he talks about the murder of Osama bin Laden. The interview is very down the line politically and if worth viewing whatever your political persuasion is and should not elicited cries of soft ball or gotcha questions from anyone unless nutjobs on either side of the aisle.

George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview airs tonight at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel. Check out a promo below: