Quote of the Week: Are you asking me on a date Williams? (Tim Riggins, Friday Night Lights)
Song of the Week: Lucky Man - The Verve (Journeyman)
Big News of the Week: NBC’s Green Week: Boy, was that annoying especially the solid green logo instead of the regular transparent one. And it looked like the shows themselves didn’t care for being forced to have an environmental show either with Chuck openly mocking it twice this week. The best though, and by best I mean worse, was when Sylar said something like, my character tries to destroy the world but I want to save it. This is what happens when the writers go on strike, folks. But on the bright side, NBC wants you to dave some green too so you can currently buy all the episodes from Green Week at $0.99 on Amazon Unbox.
Mikey Likes TV: Trying to ignore the traumatic effects of the writers' strike, Mikey reviewed the two most recent issues of the Buffy comic series and welcomed a speedy end to NBC's green week.
Tapeworthy: Vance wants to give a big Marc-styled "bravo" to the fantastic writers at Ugly Betty for turning Victoria Beckham intentionally funny, giving Christina a plotline and giving Vanessa Williams a career again. He however dislikes another Vanessa for intruding on his pretty friends Dan and Serena on Gossip Girl. And as supportive to the WGA as Vance wants to be, he was still super excited about the new season of The Amazing Race!
Chuck: After this episode I have come to the realization that I don’t care about the Bryce backstory. Every time they went back I fell asleep. And I know it seems like every week I complain about the music selection on the show, but they did a really great job selecting songs this week. I know whenever I think back to 2003 I instantly think of Don’t Look Back in Anger. Okay, enough sarcasm. What’s worse even, when they replayed it in 1999, it was still a good four years off. Just off the top of my head how about Hurt (Johhny Cash), The Other Side (David Gray) or if you really wanted an Oasis song, why not the more era accurate Stop Crying Your Heart Out? Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: Here’s to hoping that the show doesn’t ever bring back the “That’s what he should have said” thing. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Heroes: Well it took them about five too many episodes but Hiro is back in the present and we learn the least surprising plot twist that the white samurai was the dude under the hoodie. At least that is what I think they were telling us. That is the big problem with this season, they set up the big whodidit and there was no big reveal, I’m not entirely sure if it was him, Matt’s dad or if we haven’t really learned who it was. But anyways. Now that the least surprising plot twist has been revealed, who long until they have the next two least surprising plot twists in that Bob is Elle’s father and it is Elle kissing some dude over Noah’s dead body. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Journeyman: Dan is a recycler, how Green Week of him. I think of all the forced storylines, this was the most forced. It was interesting to follow Olivia to present day, but I am still wondering were she goes when she in’t with Dan. Is she holed in hiding somewhere in present day? Is she in a future holding tank like the bodies from Quantum Leap when Sam has taken over their bodies. The show is seriously due for a huge reveal soon. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.
Bionic Woman: Wow, two straight strong episodes in a row. I’m not ready to say the show has turned around yet because there are still plenty of things I could fix when I am hired as a scab. First off, get rid of the CIA dude. I was kind of hoping Jamie wouldn’t go back for him. But it was nice to see Jamie’s sister actually was included in more than a half a scene this week. It is frustrating that they made a lot out of her being not allowed to use a computer yet hasn’t been brought up since. At first I thought she would eventually hack into her sister but now I just wonder if they just dropped that all together. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
My Name Is Earl: Great poster of the week: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Shiv.” And of all the NBC shows that shamelessly promote Greenness, this show definitely did it the best when Coach forced the Scared Straight to add environmental friendly themes into their act. My favorite was when the big dude said he was sorry for littering when he dumped a body on the side of the road. Plus it was yet another shot at NBC for forcing them to add Green themes themselves. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Survivor: Two straight highly entertaining tribal councils. Seriously, these have got to be the dumbest contestants ever. I used to think Todd was the only competent player, but he just went off the rails this week. It now is Amanda’s game to lose. The only way the tribal council could have been better if Erik had made Jean-Robert believe what he found was indeed the immunity idol and he played it leading Jeff Probst again to throw it in the fire. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Smallville: I have to say I much preferred bad-Lana better when she was possessed by a fourteenth century witch. Vengeful, bad-Lana is just not doing it for me. Well not as much.
Friday Night Lights: First off, I would like to thank the show for plucking Kim Smith out of obscurity (fun fact: Kim graduated from Permian High School, the school that Friday Night Lights the book and movie are based on). I don’t expect Saracen will be going back to Julie anytime soon. Speaking of hook-ups, is there anyplace we can bet on when Riggins nails Julie’s aunt? It really bugged me that they instinctively though of the ex-con as a TE. If he has all that athletic ability but can’t catch a football, why not make him a DB? He would be able to blanket any receiver and wouldn’t be required to catch any balls, just knock them down. Can’t the defense get any love on this show?
But this episode had some head scratching moments, like what is Jason going to do now? Quad Rugby looks to be done and he is not going back to the team. But the worst was Landry’s dad burning the car. If the car shows up on the list of potential cars and it happened to go missing, doesn’t it just make him more of a suspect? I wonder if Daddy is eventually going to take the rap for the crime. Oh, and it was nice to see Smash’s mom do something more than just reaction shots. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
Promo of the Week: Here is an exclusive clip of episode three of Nip/Tuck:
Next Week’s Pick: Pushing Daisies, Wednesday at 8:00 on ABC: Don’t ask me why last week ABC replaced the smartest show on television with an award show whose audience’s IQ added together still isn’t as high as the combined IQ of the guys from The Big Bang Theory, but Pushing Daises is back on this week. And if I am not mistaken, this episode starts an arc featuring SNL vet Molly Shannon (although if she doesn’t actually show up, it may be the week after she starts).
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Nice to see the Foo Fighters back to their quirky way after the more politically charged The Pretender video. It doesn’t seem like a real Foo Fighters video without Dave Grohl in a mustache. And was hallucinating or was there a banner ad at the begging at the video? It’s enough that NBC fill the bottom third of their shows three times an episode for that unwatchable Phenomenon show, but now we get them on YouTube videos? (Scooter Update: It looks like the ads do not embed and only appear when you view the video on the YouTube website.)
It is too bad that The Killers didn’t release this song sooner because it would have been perfect for any Halloween party thanks to the ominous backing track, the gravel of Lou Reed’s voice and the inclusion of the creepy children’s choir. Maybe The Killer won’t be a one-album wonder after all.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again, music videos with “To Be Continued” are lame (well, sans, Richard Marx Hazard trilogy of course). And for some reason I get the feeling you have to see American Gangster for the video to make sense, aside from the gratuitous famous people sighting. But at least the song is better than anything off of the Jay-Z comeback album. But didn’t anyone realize the Kanye West h-h-h-house thing didn’t work. It just brings down the song.
Just in time for Veterans Day, a tribute to the National Guard from 3 Doors Down. Unfortunately today the National Guard is too busy fighting in another country to do what is supposed to be doing, guarding the nation and helping out with national disasters. But anyways.
Just to show you how old I’ve become, when commercials come on while I am watching television I no longer instinctively flip to MTV, VH1 or G4, but instead find myself surfing to the History Cannel, MSNBC, and the Discovery Channel. So tomorrow while NBC is showing those self-serving Go Green ads (isn’t NBC owned by GE that would benefit greatly if everyone went out and bought their energy efficient products?) during Friday Night Lights, I’ll switching over to the Discover Channel to see bits of the second season premiere of Man vs. Wild. For those that have never seen the show, it follows this clinically insane dude Bear Grylls who gives survival trips in the field.
Although what I really want to see is the cameramen turn the cameras on themselves because while Bear is stuck drinking is own urine for hydration, or these dudes just filming it with a traveling oasis of fresh cool water and sandwiches or are they going through some hardships aside from the weather and elements? Get on this Discover Channel. And if they do this I wonder if it would be the very first documentary on how a documentary is filmed? But anyways. Below is the official press release and I have scattered three videos (including Bear drinking his own pee) throughout it.
BEAR GRYLLS RETURNS TO DISCOVERY CHANNEL WITH MISSION TO EVEREST SPECIAL AND ALL-NEW MAN VS. WILD ADVENTURES
-- Fridays at 9 PM (ET/PT) Beginning November 9 --
(Silver Spring, Md.) – Fresh from his latest challenging adventures, Bear Grylls is back with a new one-hour special and the second season of MAN VS. WILD, airing Fridays at 9 PM (ET/PT) beginning November 9. Bear travels to the Himalayas for BEAR’S MISSION EVEREST, where this past spring he attempted to fulfill a dream to fly a powered paraglider higher than Everest, and takes MAN VS. WILD to the intense climates of the Sahara, Panama and Patagonia, where he shares invaluable knowledge for surviving in the extreme wild.
“We continue to seek out new exciting and daring adventures for Bear, and he continues to do what he does best – as exemplified in these two different types of shows,” said Discovery Channel President and General Manager Jane Root. “From an expedition documentary to hands-on demonstrations of life-saving tips for viewers, Bear Grylls brings out the adventurer in all of us.”
In 1998 at age 23, Bear became the youngest British climber to ever complete a summit and descent of Mount Everest. This spring, Bear returned to the Himalayas to chase a new dream – flying a powered paraglider higher than Everest. As a special companion piece to the second season of MAN VS. WILD, Discovery Channel will premiere a one-hour observational documentary that follows Bear, his close friend Gilo Cardozo, and their team as they attempt their dangerous feat – raising money for a children’s charity through their efforts. BEAR’S MISSION EVEREST, which premieres Friday, November 9, at 10 PM (ET/PT), follows the team during their meticulous preparations, recording their personal thoughts about motivation, hopes and fears that arise just before and during the flight – and the drama of the flight itself.
The second season of MAN VS. WILD, beginning first on Friday, November 9, at 9 PM (ET/PT), focuses on three geographic area visited by Bear. Each region will be the subject of each two consecutive weeks. From the barren deserts of the Sahara (November 9 and 16), to the mist-filled jungles of Panama (November 23 and 30) and the isolated plains and glaciers of Patagonia (December 7 and 14), each epic program illustrates the variety of landscapes and presents a wide range of possible survival challenges for Bear.
Followed by a camera crew, Bear tackles these different scenarios, using his training and adventurous spirit for everything from climbing out of crevasses and scaling waterfalls, to scavenging and eating raw insects, fish and goats’ testicles. Prior to production, Bear meets with local experts, guides and rangers and shares the knowledge he gains with viewers through action in the wilderness. Viewers will venture deeper into these forbidden landscapes alongside Bear as he encounters dangerous situations and meets nomadic tribesmen while filming.
Coming soon to discovery.com/manvswild, visitors will find an exclusive behind-the-scenes interview from Everest with Bear discussing what he missed while living at that altitude, what safety precautions he had to take, and whether he'd ever return to Everest for a third time. Other new online content will include video mash-ups of Bear's grossest and most frustrating moments, "in Bear's shoes" survival quizzes, top 10 lists from Bear, picture puzzles and more.
Bear Grylls is a seasoned adventurer who served with the Special Air Service, a special forces unit of the British army, where he was trained as a survival expert. He has channeled his daring spirit into feats such as the highest-ever dinner party at a table suspended below a hot air balloon at 24,500 feet, and the first unassisted crossing of the frozen North Atlantic Ocean in an open rigid inflatable boat.
MAN VS. WILD and BEAR’S MISSION EVEREST are produced for Discovery Channel by Diverse Productions. For MAN VS. WILD and BEAR’S MISSION EVEREST, Jane Lomas is executive producer for Diverse. For MAN VS. WILD, Peter Lovering is executive in charge of production for Discovery Channel. For BEAR’S MISSION EVEREST, Mary Donahue is executive producer for Discovery Channel.
Idiocracy may not be a word you have ever heard before but all you really need to know is it was conceived by Mike Judge, the mind that brought you the subversive Beavis and Butt-Head and the brilliantly funny Office Space as well as the watchable King of the Hill. The plot of the movie is pretty ingenious as Judge notices that dumber people are breeding at a higher rate while the smarter people tend to wait, sometimes to the point that it ends up being too late. At this rate, Judge theorizes that this will lead to the dumbing down of America that will make the Paris Hilton-obsessed of today look like Rhodes Scholars in comparison.
The story starts off in present day with your average Joe, quite literally as his name is Joe and he is completely average in every way, in Luke Wilson (Legally Blonde) picked for his averageness for a military experiment to see if they can keep soldiers alive for future wars. Since they didn’t have a comparable female in the army, the military pays a pimp Upgrayedd (played by Scareface whose Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta was hilariously used in Office Space) to offer up one of his ladies in Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live).
Naturally the experiment goes bad when the main guy behind it ends up in jail leaving no one to know about it. And it is not until the Great Garbage Avalanche of 2505 until they are jarred loose from their sleeping chambers into a world that is run by corporations, the Congress is now sponsored by Pepsi and the Secretary of Defense mentions Carl’s Jr. in every sentence because he gets a fee for it.
It is because of the anti-corporate message that you probably have never heard of Idiocracy as the movie was released by 20th Century Fox, whose parent company News Corp is one of the worst offenders of greed trumps morals philosophy (also displayed in their television division as I mentioned in Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Ten Times…). Judge may not have helped things when he depicted Fox News anchormen of the future on air wardrobe as no shirts for the guys and bikinis for the woman. Nonetheless the braintrust at Fox with their hurt feelings decided to only give the film a limited release, no trailer, no ads, no press kits, and the film wasn’t even screened for critics to review.
The morons of the future, in true Judge style, are what makes the movie. Dax Shepard (Let's Go to Prison) is Joe’s inept lawyer and the one who tries to help him to the Time Machine that could get him and Rudolph back to present day. Stephan Root (Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story) is your future judge, Justin Long (he’s a Mac) is your future doctor, and Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris) is your future president, Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, while Thomas Hayden Church (Ned and Stacy) is the CEO of Brawndo, a Gatoraid type sports drink that now is delivered to all the drinking fountains instead of water.
Certainly anyone who has found enjoyment in Judge’s past work will love this movie as well. But be warned that the future is scary and you may wonder at the rate our country is going that it will really take 500 years for a show called Ow, My Balls! to be the highest rated show on television. And I not even sure how to explain the Oscar winning movie that year, you just need to check out the DVD to get the full effect of the film.
In a story I broke this weekend, the Writer’s Guild has gone on strike an quite frankly, I could care less. Well that was until I came up with a solution to keep some of the shows on the air: Hire scabs, and by hire scabs I mean hire me to write for your shows. Best case scenario I can take a sinking ships like Heroes (and shows that have yet to get afloat like Bionic Woman) and turn them around. Worst case scenario the shows continue their downward spiral they were already on. And even then there can be some positive can come out of it because you can film my debacle for a reality show that you can air instead of repeats.
Before you laugh at my proposition to write for a show, let me mention that I wrote three well received short plays in college as well as rewrote a play I was in that also happened to land me a Best Actor award. So in addition to writing I could also up the great acting quota on a show like Heroes (which definitely needs it) where I could be, for instance, Elle’s boyfriend (assuming she is still around, seriously Heroes, characters on your show disappear faster than my friends when the check comes). I even came up with a cool ability where dude can enter other people’s bodies and control them.
I hate to pick on Heroes, okay maybe not, but the show would be so easy to fix. All you have to do is have Hiro go back to the lackluster showdown of the season finale where he does what needs to be done, put a bullet in Peter’s brain to keep him from exploding than have a massive fight with Sylar involving all the heroes that were in the plaza, Matt and Jessica of course would end up being casualties. Then since the present would have chanced so much, we can forget anything that happened this season ever happened. And since Peter is dead, Elle wouldn’t have to go to Ireland and she would have more time to have dirty, dirty sex with her boyfriend.
Seriously, who couldn’t get behind that idea? So if you are a network executive, shout me a holla as I have much more ideas roaming around my head for different shows. This offer is not valid for Friday Night Lights because certainly there is no way I could improve that show.
As I mentioned this weekend, the internet was all a buzz last week when the new broke that a Joss Whedon produced, Eliza Dushku staring show Dollhouse was announced. I too got excited but only for about a half a second because I saw the show was being created for Fox. Long time readers to the 9th Green know I have not watched anything on the network since the series finale of Arrested Development (fun fact: the same year Arrested Development got canceled, The War at Home got renewed for a second season by Fox).
And since it is on Fox, everything about this show screams that it will not see a second season. In fact if this were Over/Under and I were Commissioner Statboy, I would make the line a Wilbon special at 3.5 episodes before the show is cancel (feel free to let me know if you would take the over or the under). But maybe I should look at this like Marshall and break out a legal pad and make a list of pros and cons to watching Dollhouse:
Well that is three to ten for the cons. And that could have been worse because I didn’t count the shows that even got multiple seasons but still got jerked around like Boston Public, Arrested Development, and Dushku’s previous outing on Fox, Tru Calling. Not too mention last season’s Drive which I was enough not to start watching because, as my sources tell me, was pulled before all the episodes aired.
As for Dollhouse, I’m gonna pass watching it when it hits television (which could be as soon as January depending on the writers strike). I’ll just wait for the inevitable Complete Series DVD to go next to my Undclared, Firefly, and Wonderfall sets. And for those dumb of you to actually watch the show, start your Save Dollhouse Campaigns now. And please don’t let me hear you whine when Fox pulls the plug after a month.
Quote of the Week: Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerged. They have their own… language as you will. Well it seems the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting, “How wasted am I?” which is met with the approving chorus of, “Dude.” (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)
Song of the Week: If I Could - Blue Merle (Friday Night Lights)
Big News of the Week: The Writers Go on Strike: The Screen Writers Guild goes on strike tomorrow and to show you my lake of enthusiasm on the subject, when someone told me this, my only reaction was, “I hope the Friday Night Light writers cross the picket line.” And what I don’t understand about this whole strike is I have read writers have been writing none stop in case there is a strike. Now I have never been on strike myself, but shouldn’t you slow down heading into a strike telling your boss, “If this all you get out of me now, think next week when I’m not here at all.”
Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
Chuck: Leave it up to Captain Awesome to make Morgan tolerable this week. Unfortunately he looks to be back to his abnormal self by the end of the episode. Yawn. And just how pretentious do you have to be to have sex to the Arcade Fire? No wonder Chuck hasn’t had a girlfriend since college. Now I like pretentious music as much as the next musical snob but I still break out Prince, Boyz II Men or Dave Matthews Band when it is time for some sweet lovin’. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
The Big Bang Theory: I have stood by all the nerd talk so far this season because for the most part I have gotten most of it, but Sheldon’s Doppler Effect costume went over even my head. Can anyone tell me how exactly that the costume represents the scientific notion? And I hope that the producers took note that the Token Hot Chick’s look much more attracted with the hair pulled back in the costume (click below to enlarge) than the bangs across the hair she has been sporting so far. Chick’s hair across the face has been pretty bad this year on television. Did the hairdressers go on strike too? Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Heroes: Wait, did I fall asleep and missed Kristen Bell? That must be the case because I really can’t remember anything memorable from this week so I must have been asleep. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Pushing Daisies: I hope this is the week where everyone who said Olive was the weak link in the show after the first episode eat a little bit of crow after seeing she could be an integral part of the show and can definitely be a focus of an episode. It is turning out that Olive and Emerson relationship is the most entertaining in the show. Hopefully she uses his services in the future again. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.
My Name Is Earl: Last year’s Our Cops Is On was easily one of the funniest half hour ever on television. The hour long sequel just proves there is such a thing as too much as a good thing. Even if the trimmed the best into a half hour I’m not sure if it would live up to the original. And the only thing the new one did was remind me that Earl still hasn’t crossed anything from the first Cops yet. I still want to see him cross “stole Mimi’s cop car” off his list. But at least there was no Michael Rappaport. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Survivor: Jamie turning in the not-immunity idol has to be a top 5 Survivor moment of all time. Even though I new it was coming, I was still laughing hysterically throughout her whole speech and Probst’s response. But the best was at the end he tossed the not-idol into the fire. Classic. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Friday Night Lights: This was the first episode of the season where I loved the whole episode. I guess I may have to go shopping for some crow for second guessing the murder plotline as it is working pretty well. But my favorite parts of the episode were Coach Taylor trying to get some all episode, especially the conversation with Mac. Or maybe it was Saracen asking Mrs. Coach if Landry was right that he was a chump for going back to Julie, or maybe it is that Coach is still calling Landry Lance. But then maybe it was Lance and his Jack from Lost speech at halftime. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
Promo of the Week: Okay, this isn’t so much a promo but rather an exclusive clip from this Tuesday’s new episode of Nip/Tuck. I have already seen this episode (see: First Impressions: Nip/Tuck) and anyone who is a fan of 80’s music and naked dudes, you definitely want to check out this episode because you get both in one scene. Below are also two exclusive pictures of guest stars you will see in the episode, Portia de Rossi and Paula Marshall.
Next Week’s Pick: Friday Night Lights, Friday at 9:00 on NBC: Just when you think the show couldn’t raise the acting bar any further, this week sees the arrival of Jessalyn Gilsig last seen as Claire’s birthmother for a short stint on Heroes (well aren’t they all short stints) but I will always remember her Ms. Davis on Boston Public. And since Green Week on NBC starts tomorrow, don’t be too surprised if she brings some energy efficient light bulbs with her.
Recently a bunch of television bloggers and I got together to share some of our favorite links from our sites with our readers (I am currently seeing how many Lou Bega references t takes before I am excommunicated). I will eventually end up incorporating this into my weekly 57 Channels segment, but I thought I would introduce it first plus I burned my main hunt and peck finger a typing finger so I doing this would limit some typing. You will notice a bunch of posts dedicated to the writer’s strike and the new Joss Whedon show but I haven’t written about either because I have yet to decide which story I care less about. So until I do so, feel free to check out the links below.
Mikey Likes TV: Mikey listed the many ways in which he’s disappointed by Heroes: Generations, was surprised by how much he likes the new season of Nip/Tuck and forgot about it all after news of Joss Whedon’s blissful TV partnership with Eliza Dushku.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
The song and video from John Mellencamp is an obvious reaction to the mess going on down in Jena, Louisiana (and if you were left scratching your head to it please work in some MSNBC or Newsweek into you life). Yeah what happened down there is an injustice but people are making the Jena 6 look like martyrs. The thing is they should be in jail for what they did. People are looking at the case the wrong way, they shouldn’t be released from jail because the hillbillies that started it are not, it is the hillbillies should be in the next cell over.
Do you ever get the feeling there is a huge joke going on and that no one has let you in on it yet? That is how I feel about American Karaoke and how Jordin Sparks actually won a singing competition (granted not as mind boggling as Taylor Hicks). Was everyone else actually worse than she is or was this some sort of vote for the worst thing? Either way how can people watch such bad singing twice a week for three months?
Heard this song by Taylor Swift on the radio this week and thought it was catchy. But I wasn’t surprised to learn that the chick that wrote it when she was like sixteen as it sounds like a sophomore poetry class. You’d think someone along the way would mention that the line, “wishing on a wishing star” was a little repetitive and maybe she should go with, wishing on a shooting star” instead. But since she is underage I would feel a little skeevy mentioning how bad her perm looks in the video. Nor will I mention how much better she looks in the video below. Nope, not gonna do it. I have no desired to run into Chris Hansen anytime soon.
Above is the unofficial Mt. Rushmore of new school hip hop circa 1993 and if you can name just ten of the rappers above we can be friends. Just the cover art alone could get Midnight Marauders into the Scooter Hall of Fame but the seminal A Tribe Called Quest album is more than worthy on the music as one of the greatest hip-hop album of all time.
The group’s first two albums were great in their own rights, but were still rough around the edges as the group, still teenagers at the time, were still finding themselves. Midnight Marauders is when the group came into their own and grew musically and emotionally. They have always been jazz based, but they took the beats to a new level on the disk with Award Tour, Midnight, and Electric Relaxation still ranking as three of the groups best.
As for the emotional point, here is where A Tribe Called Quest became more socially conscience dedicating a song to apartheid activist with Steve Biko (Stir it Up), called out a Sucka Nigga, and the Tour Guide for the album pointed out the increase of AIDS in the Black and Latino communities and letting you know, “You’re not any less of a man if you don’t pull the trigger; you’re not necessarily a man if you do.” But there are plenty of songs to get your groove on with Award Tour, We Can Get Down, and Oh My God to this day can start any house party.
Yeah the previously mentioned Tour Guide can get a little annoying after multiple listens and it really hurt right around the time Phife Dawg uttered the line, Your styles are incomplete same as Vinny Testaverde” he got traded to the Brown and replaced Bernie Kosar (another brilliant move by Bill Belichicken) as QB prompting the team to be so bad it moved. Even with all that, this outing from Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, and Ali Shaheed Muhammad not only is one of the greatest rap albums of all time but one of the greatest albums across all genres.
In a story I broke yesterday, 90’s disposable pop is back. We learned that with the Britney Spears Blackout (see Part 1), she should have stayed in the 90’s. Today it is the kings of disposable pop, the Backstreet Boys, attempt to be relevant almost a decade after their heyday. And while we are talking disposable 90’s pop, a happy birthday today to Rob van Winkle himself, Vanilla Ice. On a completely unrelated note, a melancholy happy trails to Robert Goulet.
Unbreakable - Backstreet Boys
The new Backstreet Boys album Unbreakable is notable as it is the first from the group as a quartet. One can assume the fifth one is too busy hosting Don’t Forget the Lyrics or something to be bothered with recording. But it is not like the group is Boyz II Men who are losing a tenor; the Backstreet Boys all basically just sing the melody anyways except when the weird one does some vocal gymnastics at the end of the song.
Unlike Britney Spears who thinks she could still make relevant dance music despite girls out there today with better voices, bodies, and ten years less mileage, the Backstreet Boys are trying to age gracefully. Yeah there are a few dance tracks like the first track (after the acapella opening) Everything but Mine but the bulk of the album fall much more into the adult contemporary category with the group acting like a five four-headed Richard Marx. I would venture to say there is more piano on this album than their previous ones combines. Yeah there is nothing karaoke worthy here as I Want it That Way, but then again there really are not that many other songs that are besides Glory Days, When Doves Cry, and Endless Love.
With that said, Unbreakable is extremely boring. We are talking the album could stop for no reason and you may not even notice for an hour that it did boring. And cheesy metaphors like, “I’m a house of cards in a hurricane” (Helpless When She Smiles) and the most over used line in songwriting history, “How come you never know what you got until it’s gone?” (Trouble Is) are not helping things. But the most inexplicable part of the album was Treat Me Right, which happens to be the worst song on the album was co-written by N’Syncer JC Chasez. What’s next, a member of Kris Kross helping out on the next Another Bad Creation album? Prince helping Michael Jackson write a song for him? Are there any religious scholars out there that can tell us if this is a sign of the apocalypse?
Back in 1999 there were no two bigger acts than Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys. They had the top two selling albums that year along with two of the top five biggest singles. Britney was eventually showed up by Christina Aguilera who could actually sing while the Backstreet Boys were forgotten during the crappy pseudo-punk era of this decade. While most of the rest of their ilk have moved on to movies, Broadway, reality shows, or just obscurity, both Britney and the Boys are still trying to hang on to those late nineties hey-day by dropping albums today.
Blackout - Britney Spears
On a remix of Jadakiss’ Why, Common pondered, “Why they hype Britney up, they know she cant sing?” The simple answer was she could sell albums. Back when she was the number one pop princess she got the best songwriters, producers, and chorographer and elaborate stage shows. But all those people a currently working with the likes of Rihanna and the Pussycat Dolls. So instead of working with someone like Timbaland, Britney had to settle for a Timbaland lackey Nate Hills to help write and produce half of the songs on Blackout which come out sounding just a step above the Paris Hilton album. What’s worse if he starts speaking over Gimme More talking about how amazing Britney is. Who does he think he is, Puff Daddy? At least Diddy had a few actually hit under his belt before he pulled that stuff.
Without Max Martin or Diane Warren around, the lyrics are even worse than stale beats. E-Mail My Heart seems Dylanesque compared to some of the songs on Blackout. Piece of Me is Britney’s backlash at the press and paparazzi which would have been a little more meaningful had she actually had a hand in writing it. Hot as Ice, co-written by T-Pain, is just one cheesy metaphor after another. And yes she also mentions in the song that she is also “Cold as fire.” Then Get Naked (I Got a Plan) and Freakshow, where Britney inexplicably raps, will most likely be Exhibit U and V in Kevin Federline’s plan to get full custody.
The songs basically are just one bad techno track bleeding into each other which may work at a rave while on mind altering drugs, but for those of you that are sober, the album is as bad as you could expect. But at least Britney can in solace that it is better than her ex-husband’s. But not by much. Here is usually where I suggest a song to download but you are better off saving your money. Unless of course you are one of those annoying semi-ironic people, then go ahead and get the “It’s Britney (expletive deleted)” ringtone so you can be the biggest tool on your block.
The good people over at FX were kind enough to hook me up with the first two episodes of Nip/Tuck but before I get into the review of what I have seen a little breakdown of the post just in case you want to avoid anything you do not want to know. The first couple paragraphs will be a quick synopsis to get you caught up on the happenings of McNamara/Troy with some mild thematic and casting spoilers of the first episode that premieres tomorrow at 10:00 on FX. If you hate spoilers you may want to come back after you have seen the first episode. I will also clearly mark when I talk about the second episode. You have been warned.
As I have stated before, I have shied away from Nip/Tuck because I have a low threshold for blood and have been told that the surgery scenes are extremely graphic despite hearing good thing about the show. But sometimes you have to bite the bullet (or in my case having my hands ready to cover my eyes like a five year old girl allowed to watch Friday the 13th for the first time).
The show picks up a couple months after last season, and the boys are moved into their new practice on Rodeo Drive. In the plastic surgery capital of the world and the newly single Sean and the always look Christen would be having the times of their lives. Instead they quickly learn they are just a very small fish in a very large pond. So the boys take matters into their own hands to round up some clients at a local nightclub and found something you need almost as much in Los Angeles as client: a publicist in the form of Lauren Hutton.
Carly Summers, the name of the episode refers to Daphne Zuniga, a client of Hutton’s. And wouldn’t you know it she lands them a consultant job on the hit show Hearts and Scalpels staring Bradley Cooper as a hilariously overacting prima donna as well as Paula Marshall as the serious actor who gets all the nominations but hides a dark past (this is Nip/Tuck). Then there is the neurotic Oliver Platt as the creator of the show and the always good for a laugh Jennifer Coolidge as a patient on the show. Also expect Tia Carrere to stop by.
The show within a show is actually as entertain if not more entertain than the actual show. But don’t expect to see Julia in the first episode; she doesn’t visit LA until the second episode and Matt and Kimber are completely MIA for the first two aside from a voice over. But Liz did make the trip across the country with the boys. And for you die-hards, you will be glad to know that there are plenty of expletive surgery scenes and gratuitous male nudity in the first episode.
Nip/Tuck airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.
Review of Second Episode Airing November 1st
So by the second episode, thanks to the show, McNamara/Troy is booked and quickly assimilating themselves to the LA lifestyle. Thanks to his speaking role on the show, Sean is dating a co-star (or at least that’s is what he wants people to think after Julia lets it be known she is going to move in with someone) and Christen is getting some attention of his own after he poses for some risqué pictures. The case of the week, Joyce and Sharon Monroe, focuses on two dueling Marilyn Monroe impersonator who try look more like the real thing than the other with each being backed by the opposing doctors. Also in the episode we learn of Marshall’s dark hidden secret and we even meet Julia’s new love. Also expect an appearance by Portia de Rossi.
, I’ll switching over to the Discover Channel to see bits of the second season premiere of Man vs. Wild. For those that have never seen the show, it follows this clinically insane dude Bear Grylls who gives survival trips in the field.
and the brilliantly funny 
as well as the watchable 
. The plot of the movie is pretty ingenious as Judge notices that dumber people are breeding at a higher rate while the smarter people tend to wait, sometimes to the point that it ends up being too late. At this rate, Judge theorizes that this will lead to the dumbing down of America that will make the Paris Hilton-obsessed of today look like Rhodes Scholars in comparison.
) picked for his averageness for a military experiment to see if they can keep soldiers alive for future wars. Since they didn’t have a comparable female in the army, the military pays a pimp Upgrayedd (played by Scareface whose 
) is Joe’s inept lawyer and the one who tries to help him to the Time Machine that could get him and Rudolph back to present day. Stephan Root (
) is your future judge, Justin Long (he’s a Mac) is your future doctor, and Terry Crews (![Terror Alert Level: Severe [RED]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidjcsCV5I3jWQDVTcnVoXbArSx3kHl02FZ8FkOHBBKP2w8mQulcCF614SIw1GjuB2JtKV2YcQOKXtMlnW2ulLSOvYvvXzDwZ3JF4Mlh0Dt2nfEL1oGLh0sk7O-GRHWbCPvJmMMKg/s400/small_severe.png)
on my 
(and shows that have yet to get afloat like 
) and turn them around. Worst case scenario the shows continue their downward spiral they were already on. And even then there can be some positive can come out of it because you can film my debacle for a reality show that you can air instead of repeats.
(fun fact: the same year Arrested Development got canceled, The War at Home got renewed for a second season by Fox).
. Not too mention last season’s Drive which I was enough not to start watching because, as my sources tell me, was pulled before all the episodes aired.
![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my ![Terror Alert Level: Low [GREEN]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5jUNMqnrEt-A-laO7HQcvH_2mssvEmU-3Ljc21QB95bE8gBS-ozxxmgUMEDQnUAPq4VYFmBlF5RIkGoiRjdCR8euNAtMTAaPmay8ZF4Lg3LY4TNqjAOq_3qDmalmC9AxLMIoVw/s400/small_low.png)
on my 
