I Want My Music Television: 4/27/16

Vroom Vroom - Charli XCX


So exclusive music videos are becoming a thing (even though it did not work for MTV when they tried their Supervideos a couple years back). Beyoncé dropped her video album over the weekend but you need an HBO subscription or shell out twenty dollars a month at Tidal to watch. Pass. Apple Music is the only place you can see the new Charli XCX video but at least you do not need a subscription to their service to watch. On the negative side, the video was choppy for me, something I never have a problem with while watching YouTube. As for the song, I find it extremely annoying, and kind of catchy at the same time and cannot stop hitting repeat.


Move Me – Sara Watkins


Two years ago Nickle Creek had one of the rare comeback records that did not suck. It probably helped that all the members of the band had been steadily recording during the group’s hiatus. After thaaqt album Sara Watkins already released an album with her brother and later this year is putting out another solo record. Judging from the first single it is a huge departure from anything she has done before with her ditching the folk rock she has been known for with something more alt-rock. Move Me sounds like it could have been released during the mid-nineties at the height of the genre. And I kind of wish I was invited to that dinner party, everything on that table looks great.


A Change of Heart – The 1975


Are The 1975 officially in their pretentious rock phase? I mean, c’mon, dancing clowns in black and white for a video they are completely absent?


America’s Sweetheart – Elle King


It is time for one of my favorite running segment in One Hit Wonder Watch. Ex’s and Oh’s was an extremely catchy hit for Elle King last year (though it was only my list of the Best Songs of 2014). When her album came out I remember Ex’s and Oh’s sticking out not just because it was the best song but it was one of the few songs that did not sound like it was trying to be a cheap Adele rip-off. Apparently there was another rock tinged song on that album that I forgot and though I doubt it will have much dent on the pop charts, it could be a niche hit on adult contemporary stations.

A Meloncoly Happy Trails to Prince

For people my age, Prince was always there. 1999 and Little Red Corvette were radio staples when we started to listen to the radio. Sure it was not until college when I realized that Little Red Corvette was not actually about cars, but anyway. Then came Purple Rain. Since it was R rated and I was still in my single digits, I was not allowed to watch it, but after a lot of begging my parents did rend it, watched it one night, marked the music parts and I could watch them, turn it off, then flash forward to the next performance. Presumably Darling Nikki was the one performance from the film I could not watch as it has the distinction as being the song that prompted Tipper Gore to start her crusade to slap Parental Advisory stickers on albums. It was not until recent years when the film got played ad nausea by VH1 Classic did I finally get to see the non-music bits, and okay, maybe my parents did me a favor because that movie (along with pretty much every movie from that decade) does not really hold up aside from when Prince told Apollonia she needed to purify herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

Sure it was hard to be a Prince fan at times, his Symbol era was marred by a flood of mediocre albums as a way as the Artist Formally Known as Prince to get out of his record contract. And I cannot count how many times I went to YouTube to watch Batdance only to remember, oh yeah, Prince hates the internet. But both MTV and VH1 started playing Prince music videos again Thursday and I actually got to see Batdance in its entirety for the first time in maybe twenty-five year and it was glorious. His VMA performance also got heavy play and it is just as shocking today that it got play as it did back then. And watching these video blocks and it is just shocking just how much great Prince music there is. The Morning Papers came on and I completely forgot about, that is just how many great Prince songs there is. The Morning Papers is a great song but I am not sure if it is even one of his fifty best songs.

Like I mentioned above, Prince hates the internet so it is hard to find any of his video, and if you do, they are probably gone by the time you go back. Thankfully he does not own the rights to While My Guitar Gently Weeps which he performed with Tom Petty Jeff Lynn, Steve Winwood (Traffic was inducted that year) and Dhani Harrison (his father George was also inducted as a solo artist) and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame put on their YouTube channel from the year he was inducted. Prince is barely seen almost completely off stage, but then he comes front and center and gives one of the most epic guitar solos ever. Seriously, you do not even need all the fingers on one hand to count the number of people who could do the Eric Clapton solo justice and Prince did it. And then when he was done he threw the guitar over his head and struts off the stage. Forget dropping the mic, that is how you end a performance.


Prince could have gone down as the greatest guitarist if he wanted to. He could have been the King of Pop if he wanted to. He was Hendrix, James Brown, and Michael Jackson rolled into one and I would argue better than all of them. Instead of one genre he just did everything great: rock, pop, RnB, funk, gospel, jazz, dance, Purple Rain was number two on my 100 Greatest Power Ballads of all time. The guy even ghostwrote a song for Kenny Rogers. He even created genres, seriously, how do you even classify When Doves Cry? Sign O’ the Times?

As I mentioned, being a Prince fan could be rough, particularly the Symbol years featured a lot of mediocre music, but once he got out of his Warner Brothers contract and returned to being known as just Prince, no silly symbols needed (wait, did Prince invent the emoticon?) the music was good again starting with Musicology and he kept popping up on my end year lists all the way to to 2013’s Breakfast Can Wait (I never got to listen to his most recent album because it was a Tidal exclusive and I have no desire to mess with Tidal; hopefully the Prince estate is a bit more relaxed on the internet). Sure nothing was Purple Rain great again, but it did not have to be, good Prince was still better than most acts in the past decade. Plus this was the guy that gave us the greatest soundtrack of all time (which featured the greatest album closing track of all time), the greatest Super Bowl Half Time show of all time, the greatest Chappelle’s Show skit of all time, and was the best part of the greatest Rock and Roll Hall of Fame all-star jam of all time. As he told us, there is something else after this, a world of never-ending happiness, and I am sure will be putting on massive concerts every night. I would say rest in peace, but Prince seemed happiest when entertaining people, so rock on Prince and thank you for some of the greatest music ever made.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/24/16

Once Upon a Time: When they said Dorothy did not have anyone to give her true love’s kiss, my first thought was, are they really going to turn red Riding Hood lesbian? But then I vaguely remember Mulan being into chicks, so maybe it would be her. For a fleeting moment I thought true love’ kiss would come from Toto, but no, they actually turned Red Riding Hood gay. Alrighty.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

House of Lies: So did the cobra and lion fight or have sex? But they could have had a longer “previously on” segment because I barely remember who Steven Weber or that other guy talked to were. Then I completely forgot Clyde and the weird chick was still a thing.

Fear the Walking Dead: I am they guy who always thinks the people on these show should be more trusting and should be taking in as many people as they can to ward off the zombies, but even I would say no to taking in someone else’s kid. I may take kindness on an orphan but survivalist dad and grown son can take care of the two small children
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Supergirl: This show is cheesy, and I am fine with that, but there is cheesy fun and eye rolling cheesy and Surpergirl being able to break the mind control with some speech about hope was eye rolling cheesy. But I did like that it did not work completely and Non still had the ability to explode every human’s skull even if they were no longer under his spell. Of course the big question was who, or what, was in pod at the end? I vote for Krpto.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: So we actually learned who killed Bruce’s parents: Hugo Strange. Maybe it is because I have seen the Wayne’s die so many times in my life; the reveal was not the biggest reveal. The bigger Hugo Strange reveal of the week was he was finally able to resurrect someone and that someone was Theo Gallavan. Just how many more will he be able to resurrect before Jim is able to shut him down? I think we have seen bodies that liik like Fish and Jerome in those floating tanks.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh wow, what a great plan by Rich Dot Com. Get that guy his own spin off.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Early in the series, Skye wad the clear weakest link in the acting department but over the seasons became more comfortable in the role. But goodness, evil Daisy was hard to watch. They need to cure her quick, or at the very least do what they did in those early episodes and have her jump in a swimming pool while wearing a red dress to distract from her acting.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: So the cult may be a drug smuggling front, I guess that make the whole Peru trips make more sense. If true, the question is who knows? Will Eddie learn of the drugs when he gets to 7R? Is Cal one of the few because he is 10R? Are the drugs they get people off other drugs what they are smuggling or are they also smuggling other more conventional drugs. And I am starting to thinking the FBI guy might be buying into some of this. Mary’s story last week was convincing and itb is weird to open up about your real life problems while undercover.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: When they introduced the SuperIdol I was a bit skeptical because someone only has two Idols at the same time about once every four seasons, and though it does not look like it will be used this season, the SuperIdol did play a huge part in the episode when Tai refused to Voltron his Idol with Jason’s to save Scot. We have had wild Tribal Councils but that was the first wild post vote Tribal with Hot Chick #3 imploring Tai to use his Idol to save himself, the two douchebags being over confident when Tai did not, then Scot gets the most votes, asks Tai for his Idol, and Tai was just like, “Nope.” And just when you think it could not get any better, in Scot’s goodbye at the end of the episode, he mentions he went home with Jason’s Idol in his pocket. Awesome. So Jason goes from thinking he has a clear path to the finale with an Idol in his pocket, his buddy has another that can form a SuperIdol and a mole in the other alliance to hiss only true ally getting voted out with his Idol in his pocket. I guess we are going to get more fires getting put out next week.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Leaving Martha along in a house with an old man and a cane was not the smartest idea the Russians ever had. So who is going to get to her first? Probably the Russians, but do not think she will be getting that trip to Moscow. Although that would have been a fun fish out of water story had Nina still be around to be Martha’s escort.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Interesting the episode after they killed Lizzie (or so we are led to believe) with a very introspective episode with very little dialogue. And was the supposed to be Lizzie’s mother? With Red reenacting their first meeting? Or was she just a completely delusion?
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: We did get some more Beth but they already got to the point where she steps in front of the train, or presumably the point where she left her apartment on the way to the train station. As much time they spent in the premiere, I thought we would get a full season of flashback. Back in present day, Sarah learns she has some biotech living in her check. Creepy. Just how many of the clones have that?
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Vikings: So Ragnor was gone for “years” but looking at his eldest son’s hair, and his youngest sons who are now teenagers, it seems like he has been gone at least a decade. Which begs the questions just how long has it been since the first season. It seemed like they already jumped a decade when they first aged up the eldest son who went from pre-teen to twenty-something in between seasons. It has to be at least twenty-five years. And just where was Ragnor? I wonder if we will get flashbacks of his pilgrimage when the show returns.
You can download Vikings on iTunes.

Previewing Jack of the Red Hearts

Lifetime has gotten a much deserved reputation for cheesy, ripped from the headlines movies where you laugh along with the movie. But recently has been buying movies to air (and maybe more importantly to add to their new subscription Lifetime Movie Club) that are actually making the rounds at movie festivals and are usually the types of movies that end up on one of the premium channels that do not even air in HD . Last year Stockholm, Pennsylvania, starring future Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan, even nabbed a pair of Critics’ Choice TV Awards. Sure these movies still have very Lifetime Movies type themes, Stockholm, Pennsylvania was about a kidnapped child reuniting with a her family seventeen years later, they just do not have the cheesy connotation that made for Lifetime Movies tend to have.

The latest Lifetime acquisition, Jack of the Red Hearts was named Bentonville's 2015 Grand Jury Film Festival Award Winner but still has a theme familiar to Lifetime viewers. AnnaSophia Robb (Soul Surfer) plays a girl who bounced around foster care, now eighteen has to find a way to stay connected to her sister who is still in the system. This means taking out her nose ring, cutting out the streaks in her hair and getting a job. But that is not easy for a juvenile delinquent so she assumes the identity of a care taker unaware it is taking care of an autistic eleven year old.

Though pretty paint by numbers once you know the concept, of course the fake caregiver learns as much from the autistic girl as she I supposed to teach, but the movie is still very heartwarming with even some lighter moments sprinkled throughout despite the heavy subject matter, which one character desires as being co-workers in a mental hospital. It helps that the performances are strong all around. Robb is more believeable as the tender caregiver than the street smart hoodlum but the move really belongs to Taylor Richardson as the autistic Glory and the decision to shoot some scenes through her eyes to give the audience a small sample of what it looks like to be an autistic child.

Jack of the Red Hearts premieres tonight at 8:00 on Lifetime.

Around the Tubes: 4/22/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Prince, Catching the Sun, Wrecked, Genealogy Roadshow, Angie Tribeca, Ernie Ball: The Pursuit of Tone "Mike Ness', All Access: Quest For The Stanley Cup, Genius be Stephen Hawking, Penny Dreadful, Brian Lee, The Queen at 90, Kansas, and Guerrilla.

- VH1 announced yesterday the on-air plans to pay tribute to the late mega-star, Prince. Beginning yesterday at 5:30 PM ET, Prince’s iconic movie, Purple Rain, will kick of a weekend long marathon. Throughout the following days, VH1’s Sway will host news updates with artists’ memories and fan reactions.
VH1 Programming Schedule:

Friday, April 22:
12:00 PM ET/PT – “Purple Rain”
10:30P PM ET/PT – “Purple Rain”

Saturday, April 23:
9:00 AM ET/PT– “Purple Rain”
4:30 PM ET/PT – 7:00 PM – “Purple Rain”

Sunday, April 24:
1 PM ET/PT – “Purple Rain”
9PM ET/PT – “Purple Rain”

- As the solar industry nears the remarkable milestone next month of 1 million U.S. homes with solar panels, the acclaimed new documentary Catching the Sun from Executive Producer Leonardo DiCaprio will debut on Netflix in all territories this Friday, April 22 (Earth Day). Trailer: catchingthesun.tv

- TBS, a division of Turner, has set the premiere date for Wrecked, the network's new ensemble comedy about a group of strangers stranded on a deserted island following a plane crash. The latest in TBS's growing slate of daring new comedies, Wrecked is set to take off Tuesday, June 14, at 10:00) with back-to-back episodes.


- From possible links to the accused in the Salem Witch Trials to heroes of the Wild West, PBS’ Genealogy Roadshow uncovers more family secrets in the series’ third season, which premieres Tuesday, May 17, 2016, at 8:00 and airs Tuesdays through June 28 (check local listings). Part detective story, part emotional journey, Genealogy Roadshow combines history and science to uncover fascinating stories of diverse Americans this season in and around Albuquerque, Miami, Houston, Boston, Providence and Los Angeles. Each story links to the larger regional (and often, national) history, to become part of America’s rich cultural tapestry. See a season three clip here.

- After putting murderous ventriloquists, bakers and painters behind bars in its first amazing season, TBS's Angie Tribeca is ready to untangle all new webs of deceit in the gripping second season. Rashida Jones, Hayes MacArthur, Jere Burns, Deon Cole, Andrée Vermeulen and Jagger the German Shepherd will be back when the powerful police drama returns Monday, June 6, exclusively on TBS, a division of Turner.


- Tune in to AT&T AUDIENCE Network for: Ernie Ball: The Pursuit of Tone "Mike Ness' on Friday, April 22 at 8:00 (DIRECTV Ch 239/U-verse Ch 1114). Watch as renowned guitarist, singer-songwriter and producer Mike Ness sits down for the new documentary series. In the candid interview, Ness touches on a wide range of topics from how he found his "groove" to rebelling through the music of his band, Social Distortion. The interview digs deep into Ness' songwriting process.

- Showtime Sports continues its commitment to real-time, behind-the-scenes documentary series with unprecedented access to the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs in All Access: Quest For The Stanley Cup. The docu-series will be the first of its kind to nationally televise the championship of a major North American sport as it unfolds. Premiering Friday, May 20 at 9:00 on Showtime, weekly episodes chronicle the Eastern and Western Conference Finals and the Stanley Cup Final as the top-four NHL® teams battle for the chance to hoist the Stanley Cup®, one of the oldest and most iconic trophies in sports.

- PBS President and CEO Paula A. Kerger announced in January at the PBS portion of the Television Critics Association Press Tour that PBS, with National Geographic as its international broadcast partner, has commissioned a new six-part science series. Genius be Stephen Hawking, from production company Bigger Bang, will be presented and narrated by renowned theoretical physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking (watch a preview here). In each episode, a different group of ordinary people will be challenged to think like the greatest scientific minds in history in order to solve some of humanity’s most enduring questions. Genius will air on PBS in the U.S. Wednesdays, May 18-June 1, 2016, 8:00-10:00, and internationally on National Geographic Channel.

- Showtime is kicking off the third season of its hit drama series, Penny Dreadful, which premieres on Sunday, May 1 at 10:00, with a fan-driven art competition. Starting today through Friday, May 13th, fans can submit their artwork to The Penny Dreadful Fan Art Competition on pennydreadful.tumblr.com for the chance to win special prizes. One winner will take home the Grandeur Prize, which includes $1,000 and the opportunity to transform their creation into an official poster, product, or an upcoming Penny Dreadful comic book. On Sunday, June 19th, Showtime will announce the Grandeur Prize Winner during the final two episodes of the third season, which will air back-to-back starting at 9 p.m. ET/PT. SHOWTIME will showcase submitted fan artwork in the Penny Dreadful gallery at sho.com/1VvfxXq.

- American genre songwriter Brian Lee has teamed up with XFINITYSessions and is releasing his concert "Sessions at Willow Grove" on Earth Day 2016. The concert will be available through XFINITY on Demand starting April 22nd, 2016 and running through June 20th, 2016. The on Demand program is exclusively available through XFINITY and will be seen in over 24 million homes in the United States.

- Smithsonian Channel is celebrating Queen Elizabeth’s 90th birthday with a two-hour landmark program. For the last year Smithsonian Channel was granted unprecedented access to Her Majesty and the Royal Family’s lives at Buckingham Palace and across the United Kingdom and overseas. The Queen at 90, premiering Sunday, May 15 at 8:00 on Smithsonian Channel, includes individual contributions from many key figures in her life, including Their Royal Highnesses The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Harry, The Duke of York, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, The Countess of Wessex and Peter Phillips.

- America's preeminent progressive rock band KANSAS will be touring select cities this fall celebrating the 40th Anniversary of their breakthrough album Leftoverture. To celebrate, for the first time in history, the band will be performing the album in its entirety. The tour will showcase two hours of classic KANSAS music including hit songs, deep cuts, and new songs from their soon to be released album, The Prelude Implicit. Tickets and KANSAS VIP Packages for most dates go on sale to the general public Friday, April 22, 2016. Ticket information can be found at kansasband.com.

- Academy Award-winner John Ridley (American Crime, 12 Years a Slave) will write, direct and executive produce Guerrilla, a new six-part limited series set to air on SHOWTIME and Sky Atlantic, that centers on a couple whose passion propels them into making the leap from political activism to radical militancy. Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild® Award winner Idris Elba (Luther, Beasts of No Nation) will co-star and serve as an executive producer through his Green Door Pictures. Ridley will write the majority of the episodes and will direct the first two episodes.

Previewing Earth Day 2016

Earth Day is this weekend and Nat Geo Wild is celebrating with a bunch of new premieres. First up is Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge. My first takeaway from the special is that I apparently have been mispronouncing the name of the species my whole life. I have been pronouncing the last syllable “tang” as in the fake orange juice powder drink. But the orangutan photographer in the special pronounces it like the last syllable in “Benetton.” But even he might be wrong because the narrator pronounces it “tan” as in the color. Looking at how it is spelled, I am beginning to think the narrator may be the right person of the three of us.

Being an episode of Mission Critical, you can tell that the orangutan (whose direct translation in “person of the forest”) population is dwindling and this episode takes us to Borneo, one of only two places on the planet where orangutans are indigenous to (neighboring island Sumatra being the other). And like many endangered species stories in recent history, the orangutan’s home is being shrunk thanks to deforestation so farmers can grow crops. Most of the special follows a new mother, an orangutan that the photographer has been following since she was just a baby orangutan herself. Unfortunately as the story of the shrinking habitat is not sad enough, this particular story also has a heartbreaking ending.

Full Earth Day (Friday) Schedule at a Glance:
6:30/5:30c: Wild to Inspire *PREMIERE*
7/6c: Cougars Undercover
8/7c: Mission Critical: Leopards at the Door
9/8c: Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge *PREMIERE*
10/9c: War Elephants


Also premiering on Nat Geo Wild is a new season of Unlikely Animal Friends. On the premiere you will meet a tiger and lioness; a human and an elephant with an amputated leg; a goat / antelope type creature that bonds with a dog who takes care of abandoned offspring at the Cincinnati Zoo; a tree kangaroo and a human, a cat and a rabbit; and a cat and a pig. Also this season you will see a goat that’s best friends with a pig; a dog that loves riding on the back of a miniature horse; a woman who helped save an Alaskan bald eagle and found it a prosthetic beak; a playful ferret and dog; a former military working dog and his retired Marine; and a duck that’s bonded with two cats! These stories profile the most unique, most surprising, and most loving animal friendships. Two dogs that love a raccoon; a dedicated caretaker who outfitted a miniature horse with a prosthetic leg; a German shepherd that became the surrogate mom to a baby fox; a woman who bonded with a bat; a cat that nurses sick and injured cats and dogs; and a camel that buddied up with a golden retriever. The world’s smallest stallion and his best buddy, a dog; two rhinos that are guarded by a sheep; a duck that improved a boy’s health; a golden retriever/chow mix that was rescued from Hurricane Katrina and is now an animal shelter’s “nanny” to kittens; a pig and his pooch; and a goat that cheers up patients in care facilities. A “nanny cat” that comforts animals at an animal shelter; two pygmy goats and their friend the Chihuahua; a woman who nursed an injured raccoon back to health; a Rhodesian ridgeback that helps raise a cheetah; an emu that’s the “surrogate sibling” to a boy; and a dog and a bunny that are inseparable buddies. A dairy goat that nursed a motherless Clydesdale foal; a green-cheeked conure that’s best friends with a much larger dog; a woman and her mischievously fun donkey; a husky that raised a kitten; a woman who’s gone above and beyond for a disabled cat; and a border collie that’s bonded with a sheep.

Unlikely Animal Friends airs Saturdays at 8:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

I Want My Music Television: 4/19/16

In Bloom - Sturgill Simpson


In my never-ending search for new music I go through Spotify’s Ne Music Friday playlist they update ever week with, appropriately, new singles and songs off of new albums. I usually get through each two hour playlist in about a half an hour, basically skipping all the horribly bland EDM songs that seems to just blend into each other anyway. This week was one of the rare times where I had to stop and go, what the frack is this? I did not give it much thought at first, the song sounded like another country singer who wants to be a soul singer which is apparently a thing these days for whatever reason. But then the dude starts singing, “He’s the one that likes all the pretty song.” I know that line. Is Sturgill Simpson really turning a Nirvana song into a slow jam by way of country music? Apparently yes. Sturgill Simpson even threw in some Stax type horns in for good measure. This song may very well be the first song ever to make my lists of Best and Worst songs of the year.


Yellow Eyes – Rayland Baxter


Sometimes I find new songs on the Spotify playlist, and sometime I find songs listening to my only library. I am not entirely sure when I downloaded this song by Rayland Baxter but it recently popped up while I was listening to my library on shuffle and was glad I did. It also bizarrely sound like it was influences by folk and RnB songs.


Chronic - Phoebe Ryan


I am all for a transformation storyline, but Phoebe Ryan’s band actually seem goofier after their transformation. And I kind of like her better with the glasses and afro puffs.


Motel – Meg Myers


Meg Myers has yet to release a song that I would say is great but for some reason I cannot take my eyes off her whenever I click on a new music video. It is a shame she was not born earlier because she may have been much bigger if she came around during the alternative boon in the nineties at a time when MTV still showed music videos.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/17/16

The Girlfriend Experience: Awe, free preview weekends, three days when I plop myself on the couch and am reminded why I do not watch many movies anymore because there are not that many being made. Except when I went to check out Starz free preview last weekend they had taken all but one movie off their On Demand channel. It is one thing to waste an entire weekend watching crappy movies On Demand, but I am not sitting around waiting for them to start (well, except Ant-Man so I am now caught up on Marvel movies… which will last less than a month).

But while Starz took off all their movies from On Demand to keep people like me from exploiting the free weekend, they did upload the entire first season of The Girlfriend Experience the day it premiere. I was not expecting much since the movie was horrible. Yet is was surprisingly compelling and actually the prostitution part was the least interesting as the lead character as an intern stumbling on some shady dealing at the law firm she is at was much more fascinating. The show kind of reminded me of last year’s best new show Mr. Robot in the show is very cold, you could sub in the shady law firm with Evil Corp. Both the leads sever mental issues but as introverted as Elliot is, Christine is that much more an extrovert. And where Elliot had friends, family, a therapist, and some drugs to keep him grounded, Christine lives in a world where being an extrovert is encouraged and even rewarded.

Unfortunately after six and a half hours on the couch Sunday, the show ended with a huge thud. I would even say it was the worst season finale of a great first season of a show since Lost (if you saw the entire first season too, insert your own, both seasons ended with the camera panning into a deep dark hole here). Really the season finale was basically everything that was wrong with the movie. I do not know where the show goes in season, but if the season finale is any indication, I was a lot less interested had they ended the season an episode earlier. Granted I probably will not see it until the nest Starz free weekend, and that is only if they do not take the season off On Demand.

House of Lies: Oh Veronica Mars, you had to know Vinnie Van Lowe would do something sleazy. But you had to know, just like every other time the group gets split up, they would end up back all together, I am just a little surprised it happened as early as the second episode.

Fear the Walking Dead: Could they have come up with a more boring season premiere? It is becoming pretty clear why the flagship show flash forward a couple months and went straight into the middle of the zombie apocalypse.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the start of the season, Showtime, of all the networks, had to know they could not keep Sargent Brody on the show too long. The season had to end with him get arrested. They just could not do a cat and mouse game for multiple season. Maybe season two is the trial, but there had to be some payoff. Yet here we are at the end of the season and the biggest thing that happened in the season finale was Wendy quitting (and getting a very nice severance package). What is worse it seemed like the writers had this big plan to end the season with a big show down between Axe and Chuck (okay the Axe tearing up Axe Capital and then “going deeper” was pretty cool) but we already had that scene in the season premiere and again in the middle of the season and really all I came away from that scene is, goodness both of these people are really horrible people who deserve to lose.

Quantico: So the big twist at the end was Shelby was driving the van. Meh, it seemed pretty obvious she was doing this against her will so it was not as if the big twist was she was the one behind the phone call.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: This is the second time the show ended an episode with Supergirl charging an antagonist. Not cool. Also not cool was having Martian Manhunter show up in the Next Time On promo even though I never thought he was actually dead. I do think he is playing possum and this was his and Alex’s plan all along to make Non think she was a mindless drone. Also not cool, Superman as a mindless drone so he cannot help his cousin. Seriously, having him off the planet presumably helping the Green Lantern Corp. (though I doubt he will ever hear that term on the show) was good enough, having him join the mindless drones way off in the distance was really cheesy. Really my big takeaway from the episode was Maxwell Lord calling the president “she.” I guess it should not be that surprising that there was not a president Lex Luther in this universe. I wonder if we will get to meet her, if it is someone from the comics, or it was some cheap, hey a woman can be president Hollywood ploy.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: I thought Penquin killing the dog was going to be the most despicable thing he did this week but feeding his step-brother and sister to his step-mother… that is some Eric Cartman level evil right there.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: During my last Power Rankings I mentioned hoe diverse the top twenty was, but for some inexplicable reason, all four Coach’s Comeback were boring white dude and of course the bored housewives ate that up and two got voted through making half of America’s Saves white males. I looked back and in the Live Playoff seasons, white guys have made up at least half of America’s saves five of seven seasons (interesting enough, not one white guy was voted through by America in season four). I do not understand why the producers are letting bored housewives to run the show into the ground the way they did America Idol and their obsession with WGWG over there. It was pretty appropriate that The Voice hit a series low in the ratings for the results show. Count me as one of the many they have lost for the season because I have no interest in another boring white dude dominated season.

Lucifer: Well that was an interesting twist that Lucifer can only be hurt when the lady cop is around. So what exactly is her deal? We already know the Jedi mind tricks thing does not work on him and now she can hurt him. Was she sent, or blessed, by God?
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh Chrissy Seaver, your boyfriend dies going after a clue on his own, why are you doing the same? And if you are going to have Chrissy talking to people in her head, at lead make her Mr. Robot level paranoid about it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I had to laugh when the guy Daisy was hunting down commented on her partner’s “boy band hair.” Well that was until we actually got a good look at the guy and he looked even more like a male model. And that is pretty cheap to offer a trade and then renig. I actually want to know what his power is now.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I have a long standing rule to never believe someone is dead until you see the body (and even then still be suspicious), but I was pretty confident that Lyla Garrity was dead at the end of the last episode. Apparently not and not only that the Kool-Aide is strong because not only did she not call the police when she went to the hospital, she went even deeper down the rabbit hole and now is taking a bigger opposition within the cult out west. As much as I enjoyed Hannibal, I thought its cancelation was probably a good thing for Hugh Dancy’s mental health, but his new role is pretty dark too. That one scene in the bedroom was almost as disturbing as anything he did on Hannibal. And I wonder if 7R is just an excuse to torture Eddie. Then after Mary’s story, I wonder if FBI is more reluctant to take her back to her father.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: In the two seasons they have done this gimmick, one running theme is that everyone on the Brains tribe just completely overthinks everything. Aubry targeting the hot chick was just a really bad idea. If she is wrong, hot chick loyal, now you do not have the ability to split your votes, if you are right, the other alliance has two Idols to play with. Aubry lucked out that hot chick won Immunity, except Aubry came up with a dumber idea; vote out Debbie simply for telling hot chick the plan. Oh, and it gets dumberer, when the old dude tells Aubry how dumb the idea is and he will not vote for Debbie, Aubry tries to recruit hot chick, the person she originally wanted to get out, the person she was now targeting Debbie for because she did not trust with the vote splitting plan, to get the deciding vote. What?!?

That was just comically stupid. Now Aubry loses a loyal member of her alliance, is stuck with a potential flipper in the hot chick, the douchebag alliance still has two Idols, and now you do not have enough people to split the vote. Had Aubry just stuck with the vote splitting, best case scenario, they pick right, one of the douchebags go home; worst case scenario, both Idols get played, they chose the wrong two people to place votes on, and body builder goes home, but both Idols are at of play. Of course it seems like Aubry does not know what exactly the SuperIdol does so she may not realize that whoever they split their votes for could Voltron the two Idols after the votes are read, but still, even if that happens, both Idols are flushed and they are still down an alliance member.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Nina got the ax last week, will Martha be joining her soon? It does not seem like she can keep things up like they are for very much longer.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Well that was unexpected. That is not to say that it crossed my mind that Lizzie faked her death to get away from Red. It was noticeable that she said something to extent that she thought that doctor was going to be the one on call. Did she make a plot with him? It would be weird to kill Lizzie now, basically killed by the guys who were being very careful not to harm her. And he never learned who hired them. Maybe it was Lizzie who hired them as part of the decoy.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: There is nothing more annoying on television these days than the proliferation of hashtags blanketing the screen. Just the show’s name is annoying enough, but it is worse when they try to create new hashtags for specific scenes. Though I kind of liked when Orphan Black let me know to the effect they were going #BackToTheBeginning because it may have taken longer for me to realize they started the season with a flashback. I wonder if we will get more Beth this season, since the flashback did not go all the way up to running into Sarah, I have a feeling we may see her again.
You can downloadvOrphan Black on iTunes.

I Want My Music Television: 4/16/16

Nutshell – Phife Dog


We lost the great Phife Dog recently but there is one last solo album coming soon. I kind of wish the part where they sample great Tribe classics was a bit longer.


New Romantics – Taylor Swift


In what seems to be a trend with Taylor Swift, her last music video off an album is just a tour retrospective. But that really should have come about two or three singles ago because she ran out of good songs a while ago.


Boy Problems – Carly Rae Jepsen


When Call Me Maybe was released, you could have told me Carly Rae Jepsen was as young as fourteen and I would have believed you (she turned out to be in her mid-twenties). With her new album it looks like she is aging five years with every passing video. Whoever told her that mullet was a good look should be fired. But at least she can no longer be confused with a teenager.


Moving Mountains – Skylar Grey


At the end of the end of the last big singer-songwriter era last decade there was a new artist named Holly Brook who put out a decent album. Then singer-songwriters went out of vogue, Brooke changed her name to Skylar Grey, hooked up with producers more known hip-hop music and started to make darker music. It is interesting that her new single sounds more like something that would have been on that single Holly Brooke album than anything under her new moniker.

Around the Tubes: 4/15/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dear Mama, Comedy Knockout, The Drew, Political Idiotest, Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah, Where Am I Now?, Haven, Ray Donovan, Episodes, and Tales from the Crypt.

- This Mother's Day VH1, Flavor Unit and Jesse Collins Entertainment will shine the spotlight on the most important women in the world -- our Moms. This is not a typical honors show though -- the stars will step aside and put their mothers center stage to celebrate the women who sacrificed so much for their success. VH1’s one-hour special event Dear Mama, will premiere Sunday, May 8 at 9:00. Anthony Anderson (ABC’s “Blackish”) will kick off VH1’s Mother’s Day celebration as this year’s host and will also honor his hilarious mom, Doris Bowman. The event will feature multifaceted superstar Queen Latifah honoring her mother Rita Owens, a single mother and former high school teacher in Newark, New Jersey. Trey, Jaden and Willow Smith will also join the mom-fest to honor Hollywood powerhouse Jada Pinkett-Smith. Additional honorary mothers will be announced soon.

- See below for the newly released trailer for truTV's new comedy competition series Comedy Knockout, hosted by stand-up comedian Damien Lemon, which premieres on Thursday, April 21 at 10:30pm ET/PT. Guest comedians this season will include Jim Norton, Sherrod Small, Kevin Barnett, Jamie Lee, Arden Myrin, Chris Distefano, Yamaneika Saunders and many more.


- Showtime will premiere The Drew, a film directed and produced by Baron Davis, that explores the history of a pro-am basketball league in the heart of South Central Los Angeles, on Friday, April 29 at 8:00. The Drew chronicles the unlikely rise of an institution, the men and women who made it possible, and the unifying, positive force it has become.


- GSN, the leader in game shows and competitive entertainment, announced today a new half-hour special event, combining its hit series IDIOTEST with America’s obsession with all things politics. Political Idiotest, produced in association with Popsugar, one of the strongest media brands among millennials, will air Wednesday, April 20 at 11:00.

- Exploring the French iconoclast’s arduous path to creating his nine-hour-plus masterpiece, Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah debuts Monday, MAY 2 at 9:00, exclusively on HBO. Academy Award®-nominated in the category of Best Documentary Short Subject this year, the film includes previously unseen outtakes and features the 90-year-old filmmaker’s modern-day reflections on key moments in his life, as well as his hopes for the future.

- EW.com has revealed the cover of writer and actor Mara Wilson's memoir, Where Am I Now?, coming out September 13th from Penguin, and now available for pre-order. The cover also features a glowing endorsement from Broad City's Ilana Glazer, who said: "Growing up, I wanted to be Mara Wilson. 'Where Am I Now?' is a delight."

- For the past five years, Haven, based on the Stephen King novella "The Colorado Kid" and starring Emily Rose, Eric Balfour, Adam Copeland and Lucas Bryant, has thrilled its legions of viewers with its supernatural storylines, VFX-fueled action and drama. And with plenty of dark secrets about to be revealed, along with new guest stars such as the inimitable William Shatner, Haven: The Final Season, out 4/19, is guaranteed to be unforgettable.

- Season four of the hit Showtime drama series Ray Donovan, starring Liev Schreiber in his three-time Golden Globe® and Emmy® nominated role, will premiere on Sunday, June 26th at 9:00 on-air, on demand and over the internet. That same night, Showtime will premiere the new one-hour ensemble comedy series Roadies from creator, writer, director and executive producer Cameron Crowe at 10:00. Check out the Ray Donovan trailer below:


- After four critically-acclaimed seasons, the hit Showtime comedy series Episodes begins production next week on its fifth and final season, it was announced today by Gary Levine, President of Programming, Showtime Networks Inc. The series, starring Matt LeBlanc in his four-time Emmy® nominated and Golden Globe-winning role playing a fictionalized version of himself, is created by award-winning writing partners David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik. Klarik will direct all seven episodes, which will film in London and premiere on the network in 2017.

- TNT, a division of Turner, and M. Night Shyamalan are ramping up TNT's new Tales from the Crypt horror block. The network has officially greenlit an initial 10-episode order of the fan favorite Tales from the Crypt anthology series, based on the original EC Comics. The anthology series will be at the center of each week's chilling lineup, guided by a newly reinvented Crypt Keeper, one of the most popular characters in the Tales from the Crypt universe. TNT's new Tales from the Crypt horror block is now slated to launch in 2017.

Previewing Second Chance Chihuahua

After a successful inaugural Barkfest, Nat Geo Wild is having its second annual event dedicated to man’s best friend. One of the new specials airing this weekend is dedicated to the smallest of the species, Second Chance Chihuahua premiering Saturday at 9:00. The show follows Laura Dash and Jim Peterson (who claim to have gone on the first internet date back in 1996) who run Dolittle’s Ranch in Studio City, California where they have rescued over 2,000 Chihuahua over the past ten years. There moto is the four R’s, “Rescue, Remedy, Rest, and Rehome.” In the episode they add a bunch of new Chihuahua to their rescue list including one who was hit by a car and has been waiting surgery for two months since the shelter does not have the money to pay to fix the dog’s leg. There is another Chihuahua who was abandoned because of a skin condition and another is one found roaming the LA River. Then there is a pack living in an abandoned building that looks like something one of the Ghost Hunter type shows would investigate.

Barkfest starts Friday at 9:00 and runs all weekend. Other premieres include: World’s Funniest Dogs (Friday at 9:00): Whether it’s chewed up shoes, or an extremely excited dog that tackles you like a linebacker, these cute but mischievous dogs are making their owners ask, “Oh, what did you do this time?!” Welcome to World’s Funniest Dogs. This special features some of the most unbelievable videos of dogs doing hilarious mischief. We also meet the owners and dogs to see if these loving troublemakers are still up to no good, or if they’ve reformed their ways.

Who’s Your Doggie? (Friday at 10:00): Ever meet a dog and wonder what breed it is? Where it gets its looks or its non-stop energy? Every day dog owners across America speculate exactly what their mutts are made of. Who’s Your Doggie? finally has the answer. In this special we take six dogs and dig deep into their family roots. After owners explain their mutts’ curious behaviors and physical traits, we bring in a team of experts to do their own analysis. Then we settle the score… with a DNA test. Using one of the most reliable labs in the world, each breed is revealed – and the results will shock you. With an almost endless list of breed combinations, Who’s Your Doggie covers the big, the small, the cute, and the downright crazy.

How Dogs Got Their Shapes (Sunday at 9:00): Man’s best friend comes in many different shapes and sizes. From the three-pound Yorkie to the 200-pound Great Dane, from a wrinkled shar-pei to the super sleek greyhound, it’s hard to believe that these creatures are all the same species. How Dogs Got Their Shapes will look at dogs from their cute noses to their adorable paws, learning the amazing ways that different breeds’ shapes have changed over time. Not just for show, these specialized features help dogs work, hunt, swim, corral, protect, hear and track. In this special, we’ll use a mix of science, history, and surprising, weird facts to learn all about today’s modern dogs.

The Voice Season Ten Knockout Round Power Rankings

I was planning to avoid the disaster that was Miley Cyrus as key adviser, and did for the first week. The show is really much more enjoyable taking eighteen minutes to watch the performances on YouTube then watch two hours. Seriously, what is happening in the other hundred and two minutes? Sure there are about forty minutes of commercial, which still leaves over an hour of non-performance time. Unfortunately there was no Supergirl, Gotham, or Lucifer Monday leaving me with nothing better to watch than The Voice. And Miley was as bad an advisor as I expected. She single-handedly ruined Abby Celso’s performance with her advice. The Knockouts are usually when people start to breakout, but there was not one this season and we may have to blame Miley for that. Instead we got a bunch of bad song choices that just sent people home (which is another Knockout staple, but multiple people advanced this season with bad songs) and a couple front runners just straight up bombed, I am looking at your Ryan, Emily, and Moushumi. Since he had previous good performances, I can see why Ryan got saved, but the other three Steals ranks as some of the worst reprieves in the history of the show. But anyway. Here is my most recent, kind of underwhelming Power Ranking.

1. Caity Peters (Team Pharrell) – Between this and her Blind Audition, it is clear emotional RnB is her sweet spot, no more fiftieth best song from eighties pop stars. Although she is the only person this season I call think can pull off a Amy Vachal / Hotline Bling that should not work but it shockingly does type performance in the Live Shows.

2. Owen Danoff (Team Adam) – I scratched my head when Pharrell drug out a Billy Joel song that may not even be in the top fifty, Always a Woman is definitely in the top fifty, probably in the top ten, and it definitely paid off for Owen making him a threat for the finale.

3. Adam Wakefield (Team Blake) – Another solid performance, but one small critique, go back to playing an instrument. He seemed to wandering around like a blind man.

4. Katie Basden (Team Adam Blake) - I wrote Katie off early, I was meh on her Blind Audition and thought she was just another in Blake’s long list of Stealing fodder for the next round. Apparently she took Adam’s advice of her and Ryan being Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham when he paired them in the Battle (and then gave them a Paul McCartney song) and it definitely paid off. It actually was the best of the two country-fied Fleetwood Mac songs this season. Who knew that band was big in the South?

5. Hannah Huston (Team Pharrell) – I really liked Hannah first two performances, they were weird and bold, but I really have no need hearing House of the Rising Sun again.

6. Brian Nhira (Team Pharrell Adam) – And we have already hit the wall, his performance was good and all, but I just come away thinking meh. And that was a running theme for the rest of the Power Rankings.

7. Paxton Ingram (Team Blake) – When I reviewed Adele’s sophomore album I mentioned how I wanted to like her debut but it was kind of a bore. That is kind of how I feel about Paxton singing a song off her first album, it was good, he deserves to be in the Live Shows (especially going against Angie who gave one of the worst Knockout Round bombs of a potential frontrunner since Ryan Innis), but… yawn.

8. Alisan Porter (Team Christina) – This was my favorite of her performances but I am still not sold on her inevitability. And the song ready did not the glory note she put in it.

9. Mary Sarah (Team Blake) – Much like the Battle Round, Mary sang a song with plenty o sass, but the performance was not very sassy. She just comes off as a Oklahoma beauty contestant type performer.

10. Moushumi (Team Pharrell) – Halsey was a bold choice, she was poised to be the next big thing last year but a hit never really materialized, but I found the performance a little subdued and lacked the excitement that picking a song like that should have brought.

11. Laith Al-Saadi (Team Adam) – I, much like Adam, have quite a few favorite songs and In Your Eyes is one of them. And it is such a great and simple song it is very hard it mess up. Yet Laith was not very great and his version just did not go anywhere. Adam’s critique was on point about just picking a song he thinks other people would like and nott doing what he does great.

12. Ryan Quinn (Team Adam Christina) – What happened to this guy? His first two performances were really good and this was just extremely bland. I am a little surprised anyone tried to Steal him.

13. Shalyah Fearing (Team Christina Pharrell Adam) I guess she should have won, but I was still a little bored.

14. Tamar Davis (Team Christina) – My eyes just roll over whenever sings Sam Smith anymore. I guess this was good and all but, ug, Sam Smith, just give him and Ed Sheeran a season or two off please.

15. Emily Keener (Team Pharrell) – It was interesting seeing “fun” Emily, but I do not think it really worked as a performance. Maybe Pharrell was going on past performances as to why he picked her, but those were not that great either.

16. Bryan Bautista (Team Christina) – Did no one learn from singing Justin Beiber last season. Nope, just nope. Really a Knockout pitting Justin Beiber against OneRepublic just screams, go watch wrestling for the next twenty minutes.

17. Joe Maye (Team Christina Blake) - Meh, never a good sign when your eyes glaze over just at the mention of their song selection. If this is the last time I ever hear Earned It, I will be a happy person.

18. Caroline Burns (Team Adam) – Poor Katherine Ho, I had a sinking suspicion after she won her Battle she would end up be on the losing end of the lone Knockout montage. The good news for Caroline is that the three previous Knockout montage victims all at least made the semi-finals (including one second place finish) and she is on the worst team this season. The bad news is she is one of the main reasons her team is so weak.

19. Lacy Mandigo (Team Christina Blake Pharrell): I said a I was a little surprised that Ryan got Stolen, but at least he had two good performances under his belt that you can talk yourself into as Stealworthy. Lacy’s Audition was montaged, she was Alisan’s backup singer in the Battles, and this fell in somewhere in between run of the mill karaoke and straight up bad.

20. Kata Hay (Team Christina) – Even though I do not like them, most of the time I understand why some contestants make the Live Playoffs, but Kata is this year’s Nic Hawk How the Frack Did They Make the Live Show Award Winner (and really Lacy and Caroline could have also easily won). The sad thing is, I do not put it past the country mafia to take her to the semi-finals because they have for the past five seasons just blindly voted for everyone with a hint of twang.

As I usually do, I have inverse numbers to the contestants based on their rank to see who has the strongest team and here is how they rank.

Blake – 65
Pharrell – 55
Adam – 55
Christina -35

And as it always seems to be the case, Blake comes out of the Blind Audition with a mediocre to bad team, makes the right decisions in the next two rounds (most of the time) and comes out with the strongest team going into the Playoffs. Where Christina made some iffy decisions and is mostly left with meh. But who cares what I think, here is who the iTunes buyers were spending their money on during the Knockouts:

1. Hannah Huston (35)
2. Alisan Porter (50)
3. Adam Wakefield (74)
4. Katie Basden (144)
5. Shalyah Fearing (155)
6. Caity Peters (174)
7. Alisan Porter – Blue Bayou (225)
8. Owen Danoff (250)
9. Tamar Davis (302)
10. Emily Keener (350)
11. Alisan Porter and Lacy Mandingo (452)
12. Adam Wakefield – Tennessee Whiskey (835)
13. Bryan Bautista (435)
14. Mary Sarah (605)
15. Laith Al-Saadi (668)
16. Brian Nhira (707)
17. Bryan Bautista and Malik Heard (959)
18. Kata Hay (1059)
19. Mary Sarah – Where the Boys Are (1074)
20. Lacy Mandingo (1244)
21. Paxton Ingrim (1258)
22. Ryan Quinn (1315)
23. Caroline Burns (1461)

If you take the average of the peak of all three performances, this is how the top twenty rank (if someone missed the top 1500, I gave them 1500 for that performance and put an asterisk for each time they missed the list).


1. Alisan Porter (52.6)
2. Adam Wakefield (197.3)
3. Hannah Huston (268)
4. Emily Keener (291)
5. Mary Sarah (332.3)
6. Bryan Bautista (372.3)
7. Caity Peters (537)
8. Ryan Quinn (572.3)
9. Owen Daniels (611)*
10. Katie Basden (654.6)*
11. Brian Nhira (663)
12. Laith Al-Saadi (684.3)
13. Shalyah Fering (727.6)
14. Paxton Ingrim (732.5)
15. Caroline Burns (834.3)
16. Tamar Davis (850)*
17. Moushumi (867)*
18. Lacy Mandigo (942.3)*
19. Joe Maye (1107.3)**
20. Kata Hays (1353)**

And putting this raking into my ranking formula to see who has the strongest team according to the iTunes buyers, here is how the teams rank.

Pharrell – 56
Blake – 55
Christina – 54
Adam - 45

The top three are really bunched up while not surprisingly Adam is at a distant last. It did not help that his best chance this season, Owen, got montaged in the Battles and failed to chart during the Battles hurting his number. Granted Moshumi got montaged that round and still managed to break the top 1500 (then inexplicably could not get that high when her Knockout was shown in full).

I have been mentioning how bad the iTunes numbers looked in the previous rounds, so I decided to look back at season nine and they are actually worse than I thought. Alisan is the only one this season to average in the top one hundred, three singers did last season (although Alisan has just slightly better numbers than Jordan Smith did). Then the further you look down it gets worse, Ivonne Acero, Playoff fodder for Blake last season and dead last on her team based on average, has a higher average than everyone on Adam’s team this season (479 to Brian Nhira’s 669). And when you look at the Knockouts, it looks even more worse. Last season, sixteen of the top twenty reached the top 200 on iTunes (Morgan Frazier just missed the cut with 204) with their Knockout song, this season, only six. Zach Seabaugh, who was montaged, charted the lowest at 373 which would have put him tenth on this season’s list, two performances shown in full, Joe and Moushumi, did not even make the top 1500. There is also a huge enthusiasm gap this year as previous round songs are just not reappearing. This season, three Blind Auditions and two Battle Rounds appeared during the Knockouts; last season nine Blind Auditions showed up again, and nine Battle Round. This season Alisan was the only person to have all three performances in the top 1500 during the Knockouts, Last season Amy Vachal, Jordan Smith, Barrett Baber, Korin Bukowski, and Viktor Kirby all did. And that does not include Ellie Lawrence and Andi and Alex who were eliminated but still had their two previous performances charting.

Last year The Voice introduced the Coaches Comeback a great idea in theory to right the many bad coaching decision except the coaches mostly made head scratching bring backs. Gwen was the only one who actually brought back someone who deserved it. Pharrell brought back someone he dumped in the Battle Round (and not even Sydney Rhame who had a very high charting Blind Audition), then Blake and Adam just brought back obvious fodder. In Blake’s defense, with Barrett, Emily Ann, and Zach, anyone he would have brought back would have looked like fodder and he brought in some diversity in what was a very white washed and dude heavy top twenty. Adam for some reason did not bring back Andi and Alex, who had the highest charting Blind Audition and Battle round songs in favor for the person they beat in the Battles and gave a horrendous Knockout performance after being Stolen by Blake.

So I am not expecting much this season. Personally I would bring back Peyton Parker, Kristen Marie, Abby Celso, and… um, goodness, Adam does not even have anyone worth bringing back. Maybe they should let him bring back someone else’s castoff instead like Brittany Kennell. Unfortunately supposed spoilers can be found on the internet and I would be 0 for four with three of the four ranked in the bottom six of my Battle Round Power Rankings (the fourth rumored singer did not even make it out of the Battles). Remember how I said Blake bringing back Najah Nicole was much needed for diversity sake last season because the Top 20 was so white and dude heavy. Well apparently this season is not white or male enough because reportedly (keep in mind from not entirely reliable sources) all four are boring white dudes. Really?!? After last year’s debacle of six of the eight singers people America saved last season were boring white dudes (which is worse when you realize Madi Davis only advanced because her team only had one boring white dude and of course the eight person saved was a country female because the country mafia just blindly votes for anything with twang), you get an actual diverse Top 20 (an Indian! Two black dudes on Blake’s team!! An all-female Parrell Team!!! Even one of the four boring white dudes has a Muslim sounding name!!!!) only to let the bored housewives a chance to whitewash another season? Seriously, they are doubling the number of boring white dudes with the Coach's Comeback if the spoilers are true. Ugg. One I am pretty sure will advance, two I give a punchers chance, Adam, I will say it again, has just completely given up on this season. Oh well. Here are my predictions:

America Saves: Owen, Laith; Adam Saves: Shalyah
America Saves: Adam, Mary; Blake Saves: Paxton
America Saves: Alisan, Ryan; Christina Saves: Bryan
America Saves: Hannah, Supposed Bring Back Contestant; Pharrell Saves: Emily

Finals: Adam beats Alisan, Mary, and Owen

Previewing The Detour

For years I have been questioning networks for greenlighting dramas that sound like they would make a good movie but how are they going to stretch the premise across ten to twenty-two episodes. Pretty much every one of them did not make it past their original run of episodes. Now TBS is airing the first half hour comedy which makes me wonder, so where do they go after the first batch of episodes? Really, the best way to describe The Detour is to call it Vacation: The Television Show. And if the viewers are lucky, it will be much more the Chevy Chase version than the Ed Helms reboot (spoiler alert, thankfully it is closer to Chase than Helms).

The Detour was created by The Daily Show vets and married couple Jason Jones and Samantha Bee. Jones plays the father on the show but since Bee has her own weekly political show on the same network, Natalie Zea plays the mother figure. Samantha really drew the short straw in that relationship; at night she has to talk about whatever stupid thing Donald Trump said that week and during the day watch dailies of her husband fondling Raylan Givens’ absurdly attractive baby mama.

Along for the ride are twins played by surprisingly not horrible child actors. The male half is the kind of person who is super confident that they are the smartest person in the room but is extremely uninformed about basically everything (can we officially call this the Donald Trump Syndrome). The female twin is the closest thing this family has to a voice of reason as her mouth is almost constantly a gasped to the stupid things her brother said and just straight up bad parenting by her parental figures.

National Lampoon was able to create about ninety minutes of entertaining road trip shenanigans, which comes out to about four episodes of televised comedies these days without commercials. Add the sequel, that is eight episodes. The big question is can The Detour keep it up for ten episode and beyond as the show has already been picked up for a second season. There is a The Affair type plot twist at the end of the first episode. Spoiler Alert, it does not involve any of the characters having an affair. Actually there really is no reason to have a spoiler warning for the first episode because the Pilot has been on YouTube for a couple days now; I have even embedded it below. If you prefer to watch it on your big screen television (and do not have the YouTube app) it is also available On Demand.

So the big twist (again, scroll down to watch if you do not want to be spoiled first) sees Jones being grilled by the FBI at the end of the episode for an undisclosed reason sometime in the future; far enough for him to grow a pretty thick beard, maybe a month or two. But before that Jones needs to get his family from Syracuse to Fort Lauderdale for a family vacation / work retreat (or so his family thinks as he gets fired right before the trip). And as you can tell by the title of the show, there are plenty of unexpected stops along the way, no dead aunts or backwoods cousins (there is a trainwreck of a sister left behind in Syracuse to cat sit; though she ends up having more to do as the show progresses), but still plenty of new hijacks including poor hotel accommodation in Pennsylvania (you do not want to know what the idiot son thinks it is spelled if you are native of the state; granted if you are annoying enough to root for the Steelers or Phillies, you probably have already thought of the joke before), a drunk tank, a culturally insensitive dining establishment in the south, a Bed and Breakfast run by Dr. Harold Abbott (like you have never seen before, and kind of hope to never see again), and of course they arrive in Florida just to run into a massive traffic jam which gives the parent enough time to tell their children the very inappropriate story of how they met.

For a show that is kind of a rip off of a thirty year old movie which already had a horrible reboot last year, The Detour is surprisingly not horrible. Sure TBS’s previous new comedy Angie Tribeca was significantly funny and it probably would only be the fourth funniest family comedy if it aired on ABC. But I did laugh plenty of times throughout the first few episodes, and funnier than the much critically adored Modern Family, even if some of it was uncomfortable laughter; the high point, or low depending how you look at it, comes in the two episodes Dr. Abbott shows up in.

The Detour airs Mondays at 9:00 on TBS. You can go ahead and watch the premiere now commercial free below or download it for free on iTunes or steam it on Amazon Instant Video.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/9/16

Once Upon a Time: Did we ever meet Dorothy when the show first introduced Oz. Weird that she barely shows up when she is the star of that movie. But right now we are in Hercules’ movie and he was just in one episode and seems to be written off the show already.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: You know a show is messed up when someone crashes a wedding to reveal the groom’s heroin stash and you are a little disappointed that that is all that happen. I was expecting the huge massive screwed up wedding and that was pretty tame for a show like this. And as much of a cliché it is, I was a bit disappointed that Chekov’s Gun never came back up. But at least the end scene was entertaining.

The Walking Dead: My favorite part of the episode: right before what looked to be a very large Mexican standoff, Savior dude just whips out a spray paint bottle and marks the dude. My least favorite, obvious the ending, as if last week’s cliffhanger was not annoying enough (and no one ended up dying; not that I thought Darryl had died anyway). Ugg, so the question is, who did Negan bludgeon to death (presumably, we did have two fake out cliffhanger deaths this season). Obviously not Rick because Negan wants him to watch the death as punishment for killing his people. I am also crossing out the females and Carl because Rick is not standing by and watching that. We already had fake out deaths of Daryl and Glen so why kill them now? That leaves Eugene, Abraham, and Aaron. Aaron is the odd man out because he is the newest to the group, but I am going to predict Abraham, he does seems like someone who would talk a beating like that for the team.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: With one episode left I was expecting some big lead up to an epic finale, but instead we get a holding episode where the case was still in limbo. Instead we got weird scenes with Axe and Wendy playing basketball games, Lara and her sister paying a lot of money to shoplift jewelry again, and the DA’s setting off fireworks, we get reminded Chuck is into kinky stuff (Red is kind of a boring safe word). There was a small moment when I thought Axe was leading Wendy out to the middle of nowhere to kill her, or at least try to hook up with her, but alas, they could not even kiss when Chuck spied on them. At least in the final moments we got some movement in the plot, first Chuck catches someone taking pictures of him. Obviously Axe comes to mind first as who put the photographer up to it, but the more I thought about it, Axe won, sure having extra leverage is always nice, but I would not rule out someone else like Chuck’s father or maybe even Rob Morrow. Then, after a season of diligently keeping their private and professional lives separate, finally one of them actually broke that trust with Chuck snooping on Wendy’s computer, finding wrong doing of Axe. So just what is Chuck going to do with that information? And will Wendy realize that Chuck got that information from her?

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Fitz’s explanation of the fourth dimension just made things more confusing, and it even made my understanding of Intersteller more confused too. Then their big plan to keep the future is to make sure Daisy does not leave the base and Coulson vows to not pick up a gun until that future had passed. You just cannot keep her there indefinitely; you do not know how long in the future that happened. Then Lash show up and everyone is like, oh well, I guess Daisy should go to what may be her inevitable death, and Coulsen was quick to end his no gun vow. And why did Abercrombie model whose name I still have not bothered to learn even show up, just to get his face bloodied? But we got another glimpse of presumably will be the season finale but we do now know that is someone’s death and it is of a SHIELD agent… or t least someone wearing a SHIELD uniform.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I wonder who is going to stray from the cult first, the father and son. And it will likely be for the same reason: a hot chick. I guess Lyla Garrity is currently Schrodinger’s Cat until the next episode when we get confirmation but she seems pretty dead. But what did Sarah think would happen. To me there were only three outcomes after kidnapping her: the release her and she goes to the police for kidnapping, they brainwash her and bring her back into the fold, or she dies, which seemed like the most likely outcome to me. And is there something in door number four? That last shot lingered pretty long on it.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: We already had the worst meltdown in Tribal Council history this season, so Gay Asian’s faux pas does not look that bad in comparison, but c’mon, why are you leaking the Super Idol info? Information is the biggest currency in this game and he blabbed to his second tribe he had an Idol which he did not even use for his advantage, now everyone knows there is some sort of Super Idol floating around. Now I have to wonder if the girls flipped because of that or if they made a last minute decision because of that information. And if that slip was not head scratching enough, Gay Asian then goes and randomly votes for Jason. What!?! I guess the best explanation (other than dude is just completely clueless) was the girls decided to flip pre-Tribal, fed him false information because they did not trust him not to tell Nick and Gay Asian ended up doing what the girls told him. Should be interesting what happens next as two Idols are in position of the guys in the minority. Does Jason play his Idol next week, can Scot convince him to hold on to it and then convince Jason and Gay Asian to form a Super Idol after one of them is voted out?
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh man was that a cold ending. Sentencing someone to death, say it will be carried out shortly and just bang. Cold, man, even for the Evil Empire.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Since they were not going to kill her, maybe giving up Lizzie would have been the right play and just try to get her back later. But Red seems to protest too much for her mother being dead, it is almost as much as he tries to makes everyone think he is not her father.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes,

Around the Tubes: 4/8/16

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Penny Dreadful, Those Who Can't, The Mindy Project, Conan, Why Would You Do That?, The Walking Dead, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Hit The Floor, and Earth Day.

- Showtimee has released a haunting new trailer with new footage of its hit drama series Penny Dreadful, ahead of the much-anticipated third season premiere on Sunday, May 1 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on-air, on demand and over the internet. Starring Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton and Eva Green, PENNY DREADFUL is a frightening psychological thriller created, written and executive produced by three-time Oscar® nominee John Logan (Hugo, The Aviator, Gladiator).


- Fallen behind on truTV’s first scripted comedy series Those Who Can’t, well now is your chance to get caught up during Sunday, April 10th’s Cram-Sesh Marathon. Audiences will be able to binge on the first nine episodes from 4:30PM-9:30PM ET/PT and catch up on all the antics that happened at Smoot High in advance of the season one finale airing Thursday, April 14.

- The Mindy Project returns Tuesday, April 12 with all new episodes, only on Hulu. The Mindy Project season four returns for even more adventures! Mindy (Mindy Kaling) faces her greatest challenge yet as she struggles to balance work with being a mom, all while her tumultuous relationship with Danny gets even messier. She's joined by Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) and the rest of the staff of Shulman and Associates as they welcome some new faces (like Garret Dillahunt as Jody, a sexist Southern rascal) and tangle with old rivals like the Midwives upstairs. The Mindy Project continues to deliver its unique mix of wild comedy and heartfelt romance.

- TBS's late-night series Conan is heading back to New York City for the first time in exactly six years for a week of shows from Harlem's Apollo Theater. Host Conan O'Brien last did his show from the Big Apple in 2010 at the Beacon Theatre. This fall's visit to New York, set to take place Oct. 31 – Nov. 3, will continue O'Brien's innovative combination of international road episodes and live shows from various cities across the United States.

- Chicago-born-and-bred, Sebastian Maniscalco has tapped Manhattan’s Beacon Theatre as the backdrop for his third Showtime stand-up comedy event Why Would You Do That?, which will be filmed in front of a live audience on May 7th – one of the seven sold out shows at the theatre – to air on the network this summer on-air, online, on demand and over the internet. Directed by Joe Demaio, Maniscalco will deliver his unique brand of physical and quick-witted observational comedy in a new hour of highly anticipated skepticism, all while asking Why Would You Do That?

- This past season brought many unforeseen, exciting and pulse-pounding twists and turns. With the end of every season comes the bittersweet knowledge that we must wait with bated breath until the next ride. To keep your The Walking Dead appetite satiated, Anchor Bay Entertainment proudly continues the tradition of offering fans an opportunity to relive the ever so satisfying and stirring sixth season. The Walking Dead: The Complete Sixth Season will be released on Blu-ray™ + Digital HD and DVD on August 23. Just like the previous award-winning home entertainment releases, The Walking Dead: The Complete Sixth Season will take fans down The Walking Dead memory lane so they can relive all of the season’s most haunting and indelible moments.

- It's a full year for Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. TBS, a division of Turner, has ordered 26 episodes of its new series less than two months after star and executive producer Samantha Bee entered the late-night fray to widespread buzz and critical raves. TBS's order brings the total number of Full Frontal with Samantha Bee episodes to 39, which will take the show to the end of 2016.

- Fans won’t have to wait long for the payoff to Hit The Floor’s jaw-dropping season three finale, VH1 announced today a special one hour episode premiering this Summer. The special will deliver all the excitement, drama and passion that Ahsha & Derek are beloved for and will also explore the huge finale cliffhanger: Who shot Jelena?

- Nat Geo WILD will celebrate Earth Day by shining a light on the wildlife advocates who inspire us to take care of our world and the animals who live in it. Beginning with premieres of the best short films from this year’s Wild to Inspire competition on Friday, April 22, at 6:30, and continuing with an investigation into the new threats facing wild orangutans in Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge at 9:00, we will celebrate by honoring the people who get their hands dirty making the world a better place.
Full Earth Day Schedule at a Glance:
6:30/5:30c: Wild to Inspire *PREMIERE*
7/6c: Cougars Undercover
8/7c: Mission Critical: Leopards at the Door
9/8c: Mission Critical: Orangutan on the Edge *PREMIERE*
10/9c: War Elephants

Previewing Dice

Andrew Dice Clay is the most sophomoric comedian of all time; seriously, there really is nothing more childish than dirty nursery rhymes. You would think that would be right up my lane since I was an actual sophomore right around the height of his popularity. But he was even too immature for me at the most immature point of my life. Honestly, the only thing Andrew Dice Clay has ever been a part of that I enjoyed was his act being sampled by EMF for Unbelievable.


But I have matured in my old age, so maybe Clay has to so I figured I would give his new show, the appropriately titled Dice, a try. The show is another in the growing line of fake sitcoms based on real people (but have any besides Curb Your Enthusiasm actually been successful; anyone remember the Paul Reiser Show). Dice is quick to point out in the show that he is not his act and does not refer to women as piglets in real life (insert your own Trump parallels theories here). The problem is that pushing sixty Dice on the show is exactly what you would expect him to act after twenty-five years of not evolving. Dice could very well have been called Jersey Shore: Geriatric Edition.

Sure the premiere starts off with him attending the gay wedding of his girlfriend’s brother, how progressive of him (though his defense of homosexuality is quit crass) but the episode quickly devolves into him trying to win money at a casino to give the couple as a wedding gift which ends up taking most of the half hour. How not very progressive of him.

I guess one of the biggest allure in these fake sitcoms about real people is when they get their famous friends involved. The first person who runs into Dice is Adrian Brody who recruits the comic to help him becoming more manly. And not even for a new movie, but for a one man play (apparently even Adrian Brody forgot Adrian Brody was in a Predators movie to remind him of when he last acted manly). And that is about it. Sure a later episode features Rita Rutner, Criss Angel, and Wayne Newton calling Dice “(expletive deleted) face but it really is not a good sign when Chriss Angel is the best part of your show. And poor Lorraine Bracco, she does not even get to play herself. But at least she gets to play a hotel owner, Michael Rapaport shows up as “Bobby the Mootch.”

But through the whole season, Dice is still up to his old stick, it may not be a nursery rhyme, but in the first episode he changes the words of, “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” where he swaps out “horse” for something I am not comfortable with repeating. But then again, maybe Dice has grown up a little, instead of dirty nursery rhymes; he is now making dirty Shakespeare monologues. I guess that is progress.

Dice airs Sundays at 9:30 on Showtime. If you have Showtime On Demand or Showtime Anywhere, you can watch all six episode starting Sunday.