Ugg, I am really getting sick of the focus on the coaches. The ode of Blake’s phone was just a complete waste of time in the Blind Auditions. And then having Gwen as Blake’s advisor was just icky whenever they were on screen. Making things worse is there incisive pushing of Christina and her singer is long past annoying. Yes we know a female coach has never won (though not mention is how a female singer has not won since season five) but the more they push for it, the more the viewers will revolt. Seriously, if you really want a female coach to win, how about a panel with three chicks and only one dude? Or at the very least go two and two. Granted the coaches antics has been a focus for very long now but maybe it is just more noticeable this season because the talent level this season is not great. Sure it is not season six bad, but it is hard to get excited for anyone. I even skipped the last couple episodes of the Battles and just watched the YouTube clips. Never a good sign. And with Miley Cyrus as the key adviser in the Knockouts, I will likely skip that round entirely in favor for the YouTube.
1.
Hannah Huston (Team Pharrell) – Coaches hem and haw about how hard each and every Battle is to choose but this was really one of the closest Battles ever. I would have also given the edge to Hannah because he Blind Audition was better and is just a better performer.
2.
Maya Smith (Team
Pharrell Christina) – C’mon Christina, you cannot say you are going to Steal during your commentary and they wait to push your button until she starts walking down the stairs.
3.
Adam Wakefield (Team Blake) - Again, just good ol’ southern rock.
4.
Brittany Kennell (Team Blake) – I was a bi iffy on her Blind Audition but, and I usually mock Blake Battle Round non-country song choices (seriously, Borderline?) but he found what Brittany can excel at: dark and moody songs. Please no more ballads for her. And no more Gwen comparisons, that is just insulting to Brittany.
5.
Laith Al-Saadi (Team Adam) – I would have liked something more upbeat but Laith is always entertaining.
6.
Ryan Quinn (Team Adam) – So Adam compares his battle pairing to Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks, so of course Adam has them sing a Paul McCartney song. Alrighty. Katie did surprise me a little because she brought something different to the song where it was hard not to think Ryan was just doing a Paul McCartney impression, but for the long run, Ryan was the better pick.
7.
Abby Celso (Team Pharrell) – After her Blind Audition I thought her voice was bluesy and she should not be singing silly pop songs, so of course she has to sing another silly pop song in the Battles; I hope she sings something more interesting in the Knockouts.
8.
Caity Peters (Team Pharrell) – The Battles are a tricky round. You could be stuck with a poor partner or with an iffy song choice and Caity was saddled with both. Seriously Pharrell, the fiftieth best Billy Joel song (and even that might be generous)? Caity did not help her case trying out emote Joe which came off as trying too hard. Hopefully she can recapture some of the Blind Audition magic for the Knockouts.
9.
Brian Nhira (Team
Pharrell Adam) – I do think Abby is better, but he did get a well-deserved Save.
10.
Mary Sarah (Team Blake) – There was a behind the scenes video on YouTube where Christina commented on a piece of her anatomy and that was all I can think about. When I could focus on the voice, Mary may be the better singer, but I think Justin kept up with th song better. But I guess he had the easier part because it is more natural to sing Mississippi fast compared to Louisiana.
11.
Moushumi (Team Pharrell) – As someone who pays too much to editing, going on the final episode (she was actually the only person from the last episode to win their Battle) and not only gets montaged, but most of her montage segment focused on the person she beat is not a good sign for her longevity on the show. Sure she is the only singing in the Knockout promo, but so was Ashley Morgan two seasons ago and Ashley ended up losing. But with a bunch of really Battle that ranged from bland to just plain bad, there was nothing really that bad with the studio version. I wonder if something went really wrong with the performance.
12.
Peyton Parker (Team Blake) – Montage win… yawn.
13.
Jessica Crosbie (Team
Pharrell Adam) – Definitely won her Battle, so good for Adam for giving her a reprieve.
14.
Katie Basden (Team
Adam Blake) – I think this was the first country singer that Blake has ever stole during the Battle Rounds. But she was kind of just average on his team so she may have to be stolen again to make the Live Shows.
15.
Bryan Bautista (Team Christina) – I am so tired of this song my eyes just gloss over whenever someone sings it anymore. I guess Bryan won.
16.
Owen Danoff (Team Adam) – Montage win… yawn. And no wonder it was montaged Runaway just seems like a really bad song to sing on a show like this. Really, most of Adam’s song choices this season were questionable. It was clear to me Blake threw season five after winning three straight seasons, I am beginning to think Adam may not be putting in the effort after last season’s win. He clearly has the worst team and his song selections look like he is throwing in the towel. But then again Owen and Ryan are exactly who the very large bored housewives voting bloc get behind so Adam may still back into a win.
17.
Joe Maye (Team Christina) – Montage win… yawn (But I love I Knew You Were Waiting, it is a shame that the one actual duet this season got montaged).
18.
Paxton Ingram (Team Blake) – He had a memorable Audition but what a crappy song selection and he really did not do much interesting with it. I will just go ahead and blame Gwen who is the worst coach so maybe that rubbed off on him. Hopefully he gets back on track with something interesting in the Knockouts.
19.
Alisan Porter (Team Christina) – So Adam calls her the Jordan Smith of the season. Which makes sense because the producers have been pushing her heavily and I have been mostly meh on her. Except unlike Jordan, I am not completely sold on her inevitable march to the winner’s circle. The more the show pushes her, the more the bored housewives will get behind whatever boring white dude they get behind this season. And if a female actually does win this season, I think Mary is more likely to win.
20.
Emily Keener (Team Pharrell) – Her Blind Audition had really good moments and… some really rough moments. This performance was a bit more consistent but oh, was that a horrible song choice.
21.
Tamar Davis (Team Christina) – I actually thought for a second that Christina was goingto go with the teenager over her, which is not a good sign.
22.
Malik Heard (Team
Christina Pharrell) – His Audition was kind of meh, and lost his Battle, there are much better RnB singers this season.
23.
Angie Keilhauer (Team Blake) – Montage win… yawn.
24.
Shalyah Fearing (Team
Christina Pharrell) - Some coaches seem to just push their Steal button for completely random reasons, but there is becoming no bigger lock than Pharrell stealing a young undercooked female soul singer.
25.
Caroline Burns (Team Adam) – She was better than she was in her Blind Audition, but I guess it is not hard when you are compared against
Meagan Trainor.
26.
Lacy Mandigo (Team
Christina Blake) – I hate the backstories in the Blinds but I actually wanted to know more about her heavy metal singer father. Unfortunately a quick google search turned out to be the lead singer of some band I have never heard of. I do wonder if having a heavy metal singer as a father is the reason why did does not have the best control.
27.
Nate Butler (Team Adam) – This was one of those Battles where they really could have sent both home and I would not have minded. It just makes you wonder just how bad those montaged were. Maybe the only reason why this was not montaged was because Tori Kelly was the advisor. Come to think of it, it seems like every season Adam gives a Battle pair his advisor’s song who has to put on a happy face even though two mediocre singer are butchering a song they wrote. You would think after all the times someone has ruined a Maroon 5 song over the years (especially Braiden and Korin just last season) he would be more empathetic to that.
28.
Trey O'Dell (Team
Blake Christina) - Oh Christina, there was no need to save yet another boring white dude. But when I was thinking who she should have Stolen instead, I guess there were not any extremely egregious decisions by the coaches except Kristen Marie, who Christina could not Steal anyway because Christina was the one who dumped her.
29.
Kata Hay (Team Christina) – Did Christina pick her (or the producer told her to pick Kata) solely because they think she makes for good television because I cannot imagine anyone think she did a better job singing than the other chick.
30.
Daniel Passino (Team Christina) - I hate this shows obsession with boring white dudes. Kristen Marie was much more interesting.
31.
Nick Hagelin (Team Pharrell) – Electric Feel is a tall order considering Preston Pohl had one of the best Blind Audition with the song, and Brooke Adee had one of the best Knockouts eve. So Nick’s falcetto only version was kind of cringeworthy and really one of the worst decisions in the history of the show.
32.
Katherine Ho (Team Adam) – Double montage, oh no. The first two seasons after the introduction of the Knockout Round, two double montage victims made the Live Playoffs but since them I believe there was only one double montage victim to make the Knockouts and that was Rebekah Samarin who ended up being triple montage. Not particularly a good sign for Katherine.
As I usually do, let me put my ranking into a formula to see which coach has the strongest team:
Blake: 154
Pharrell: 140
Adam: 131
Christina: 103
Of course Blake has the strongest team because he is the only coach who puts their best singers against their worst and picks the best almost every time. Then you have Pharrell who pits strong singers against each other and then begs the other coaches to Steal. As usualy Chistina is at the bottom because she clearly does not like the same singers I do. I did not help that she kicked off my favorite singer on her team in favor of my least favorite. But who cares what I think, here is how iTunes users rank the Battle Round performances based on their peek on the iTunes chart.
1. Bryan Bautista and Malik Heard (76)
2. Alisan Porter and Lacy Mandingo (83)
3. Moushumi (201)
4. Mary Sarah (300)
5. Adam Wakefield and Jared Harder (315)
6. Katie Basden and Ryan Quinn (320)
7. Justin Whisnant and Mary Sarah (321)
8. Alisan Porter (324)
9. Daniel Passino and Kristen Marie (327)
10. Hannah Huston and Maya Smith (337)
11. Caroline Burns and Mike Schiavo (340)
12. Abby Celso and Brian Nhira (376)
13. Emily Keener and Jonathan Bach (388)
14. Ryan Quinn (458)
15. Owen Danoff (586)
16. Brittney Lawrence and Paxton Ingrim (468)
17. Natalie Yacovazzi and Nate Butler (681)
18. Jonathan Hutcherson (724)
19. Shalyah Fearing and Tamar Davis (751)
20. Jessica Crosbie and Nick Hagelin (810)
21. Laith Al-Saadi and Matt Tedder (835)
22. Jonathan Hutcherson and Moshumi (872)
23. Emily Keener (909)
24. Mike Schiavo (990)
25. Angie Keilhauer (1082)
26. Brittany Kennell and Trey O’Dell (1020)
27. Caity Peters (1131)
28. Caity Peters and Joe Vivona (1256)
And if you took the average of their Blind Audition and Battle Round peeks, here is how the top 32 rank.
1. Alisan Porter (54)
2. Mary Sarah (196)
3. Ryan Quinn (203)
4. Adam Wakefield (259)
5. Emily Keener (261.5)
6. Abby Celso (333.5)
7. Bryan Bastista (341)
8. Daniel Passino (344)
9. Hannah Huston (384.5)
10. Paxton Ingrim (469.5)
11. Caroline Burns (521)
12. Moushumi (550.5)
13. Jessica Crosbie (607)
14. Nate Butler (623)
15. Brian Nhira (639)
16. Nick Halpin (691)
17. Laith Al-Saadi (692.5)
18. Caity Peters (718.5)
19. Malik Heard (765.5)
20. Maya Smith (896)
21. Shalyah Fering (1014)
22. Brittany Kennell (1210)
23. Trey O’Dell (1241.5)
(Owen Daniels, Angie Keilhauer, Peyton Parker, Joe Maye all missed the top 1500 thanks to being montaged in the Battle Round, Lacy Mandingo, Katie Basden, and Tamar Davis could not get their Blind Auditions to chart, poor Katherine Ho did not chart thanks to getting montaged twice, then despite having both performances shown in full, Kata Hay could not manage to crack the top 1500 either time)
So if you rank the coaches by their iTunes average rankings, here is how each coach stacks up:
Pharrell: 158
Adam: 136
Blake: 118
Christina: 116
Up in the commentary I mentioned Adam on paper looks to be a very weak team but he has a much stronger team than you may think. His problem is besides Ryan (and to a lesser extent Owen who was put at an iTunes disadvantage being montaged in the Battles after a strong Blind Audition) everyone is very middling, he just does not have anyone doing extremely bad on iTunes besides double montage victim Katherine. Blake and Christina have plenty of fodder and if they chose right (Blake probably will, Christina probably will not) they can still have a strong Playoff time. Adam will have a weak three through five assuming he advances Ryan and Owen. Pharrell should be fine as long as he does not advance his Steals who are his two weakest charting team members.
Unfortunately the promo was very Miley heavy so we do not get to see many Knock pairings but I did spot these three (with those we get to hear first making me think they are the favorite; but as I mentioned earlier, Ashley Morgan was featured two seasons ago and went home).
Alisan Porter vs. Daniel Passino
Shaylah Fering vs. (I think) Emily Keener
Hannah Hutson vs. Malik Heard
So Alisan is truly Jordan Smith of this season as Adam pointed out because she is featured is every single promo. Meh. But hey, goodbye Daniel (barring a Steal), you will not be missed. But if she does not pick Daniel, and Trey seems like fodder, either Bryan or Joe could be her lone male. Malik was also someone who got a lot of screen time, but he is just sitting behind Hannah so he may need a Steal to advance. That would also mean Pharrell would have a female heavy team, unless, oh, could he really advance Nick? He is not quite Nic Hawk bad, but ugg. I railed last year when six of the eight people America saved in the Playoff were all boring whit dudes (and it looked even worse when Pharrell only had one on his team to advance and the long other female to advance by America was of course a country singer), will there even be four white dudes in the Playoffs (Ryan, Owen, and Adam look to be the only locks)? Adam may be the only one with a dude heavy team this season going into the Playoffs. Here are my predictions ranked by how confident I am with most likely steals in parenthesis (and to be honest I am not all that confident about anyone aside from the first one or two listed):
Adam: Ryan, Owen, Leith, Caroline (Brian)
Blake: Mary, Adam, Paxton, Brittany (none)
Christina: Alisan, Bryan, Tamar, Maya (Daniel)
Pharrell: Hannah, Shaylah, Caity, Nick (Abby, Malik)
Oh goodness, I really had a hard time predicting because this is turning out to be a pretty weak season. I was staring at potential Steal think, there really not that many people worthy. Even picking the coach’s fourth picks was kind of hard. I am now wondering if maybe all of Pharrell indie pop brigade survives. I already have Hannah and Caity advancing outright, I ended up adding Abby to the Steal but she could take Nick’s spot (I only picked him because of diversity; which says something when you are adding a whit dude solely for diversity sake), I only do not have Emily advancing because Shaylah is featured heavily in the promo, but I could see her also getting a Steal, and of the three featured in the promo Shaylah is the most likely to lose. And I forgot about Moshahmi who is also someone who could take Nick’s spot or be Stolen. Adam certainly could use her.