57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/18/14

Once Upon a Time: C’mon, you cannot have a Marty McFly reference and not have Emma’s hand start to disappear after she keeps her parents from meeting. And I thought after they made a big deal about Charming falling in love with Snow White after seeing the ring on her finger, I thought when Emma found the ring, she would put it on and her father would fall in love with her kind of like when Marty’s mom tried to have sex with him. But that is one of those only in the eighties type storyline.

It seemed pretty obvious to me the unnamed prisoner would end up being what fairytale property the show would exploit next season. Being that she was slightly ethnic, I was thinking Jasmine from Aladdin except Once Upon a Time: Wonderland went there and I doubt the writers will want to return there after it bombed massively. I was way off; she turned out to be Maid Marian and will just be a catalyst to turn Regina slightly evil again. The big surprise to me was that Emma told Rumplstiltkin that his son dies in the future and he does not do anything about it (that we know of yet), he just drinks his forgetful drink and makes a funny joke. So Neil may actually stay dead even though it does not seem like Rumplestiltkin to let that stand.

So I wrong the person that Emma brought back from the past would predict where the show is going next season (it turns out the actress has been on the show in a previous season, but just did not leave much of a mark), the actual tease for season four turned out to be, um, I had to look it up, Princess Elsa from Frozen? Alrighty. Have they really run out of fairytales to exploit, they have to do one that is not even a year old?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: A couple weeks ago a hot blonde approached Don saying she knew him but he had no clue who she was. I originally thought that was his “niece” up until she started to hit on her. I still assumed the resemblance was not a coincidence. The niece actually showed up this week for the first time in a long while, which of course make me think of her doppelganger a couple weeks ago. Was the other more together the idealist version of her than Don remembered and the knocked up hippie was the reality? Granted that juxtaposition does not really work because Don did not actually see the new “niece” but that could be because he can still remember her the way she was. Not that any of this mattered because Ginsberg cut off his nipple to keep the computer from communicating with him. What the frack!?!
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: After a pleasurable, albeit guilty type of pleasurable, first season, this show hit a sever sophomore slump due in part to the lack of takedowns. I also blamed the lack of enjoyment of the inclusion of Aiden. Every ten episodes or so he would have a spat with Emily, leave the Hamptons, but would always find his way back after a episode or two. After two seasons they finally pulled the trigger on Aiden who I am guessing will not be returning from death anytime soon, unlike someone else.

The show teased that someone would die and with Aiden out of the way halfway through, I figured that was it. Nope, it looks like Conrad will join Aiden in, well, wherever those two may be going. But the second death was not the shocker, this time it was the murderer that was the surprise, the not so dead David Clarke. The show has teased this a couple times, but it would always go nowhere.

So this opens a whole new can of worms. Where has David been all this time? Why chose this very moment to kill Conrad? Who else knows? Nolan? Was he helping Emily from the shadows (aside from providing her with the infinity box) all this time? Will he come out of the shadows now that his name is cleared? How will Emily react to him still being alive (she just wasted a decade of her life avenging his death that did not actually happen)? And maybe most importantly, why was this not the finale for last season, or even season one? We really wasted two worthless seasons to get to this point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Shows that have a stellar first season but cannot stick the landing have me a bit worried moving forward. Call it the Lost Paradox. And The Blacklist actually made me think of a worst case: The Killing. At the end of the first season, we leaned that the mayoral candidate did the killing. But wait in the last scene the evidence against him turned out to be tampered with. I had the same reaction with Berlin, Red kills him, but wait, that was not really Berlin. Worse, I say the ending a mile away, when the other passengers were saying “He cut of his hand” I originally did think they meant Berlin cut off his own hand. And I guy we are now to assume Lizzie is Berlin’s daughter, right, and Red was the one that stole her from him?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: It was a little convenient that a room full of bikers and mobsters did not start shooting at each other. But I guess we are supposed to spend the summer thinking Castle is dead despite being the titular character. Now that Kate’s mother’s murder is closed, this will probably be the start of the next lengthy case the duo undertakes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I thought the show stalled out a bit after the Captain America premiered but that was a thoroughly entertaining finale. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Joss Weadon himself wrote those Colson / Fury scenes. I am really glad they never even tried to turn Ward good again, but I have a feeling that there will be a Loki in Thor 2 situation sometime in season three. I hope they instead use him as more of a Hannibal Lecter situation if they do bring the character back. I just do not think there is a way they could ever redeem Ward. My only disappointment with the finale (other than they let Ward live) is we did not get any more information about Skye’s origins other than her father is still alive and he has a thick bloody hand.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I had to laugh at Trish saying she was a good person in the game after the blow up with Kass. She was so unliked that someone rather quit the game than be around her for fear she would start punching her. With or without her, this is a lackluster final four. Woooooo is the only person worth rooting for but he will probably be out first unless he wins Immunity.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

Nashville: So Will actually admitted to his wife that he was gay, unfortunately for him, it looks like his reality show producers were listening. But it is about time this news came out, it hopefully will make the character interesting for once. The rest of the episode was pretty meh for a finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I would actually watch a show where Sheldon rides the rails.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Nothing better than trivia week on The Challenge, T.J. clearly enjoys it two. Australians speaking Dutch had to be my favorite answer.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Will says he knows how to set a trap, I wonder if he is actually using Jack as the bait (as seen in the season premiere and the next promo). You can also add Hannibal having Mason feed Will’s dogs with his own face to the most disturbing scenes list.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 5/17/14

Quote of the Week: How would I know to get back to the future? Who do I look like, Marty McFly? (Emma Swan, Once Upon a Time)

Song of the Week: Add It Up – Violent Femmes (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Michael Sams Gets Ready for His Close-up: As a Cleveland Browns fan I am happy for Michael Sams because his presence in the league because it is keeping Johnny Football from going full Tim Tebow on ESPN. And unlike Sams, Johnny Football does not have his own reality show. Yep, the first openly gay football player is getting his own reality show on the Oprah network. Sure the Rams are alright with Sams being homosexual, but I wonder how they feel about a seventh round draft pick getting a reality show. Not good I am assuming, an unnamed source already said as much and the team is banning camera from team facilities. Not only is the team reportedly unhappy, I am guessing the league is not thrilled considering they have their own reality show, Hard Knocks, and are not thrilled with the competition. Being one of the last picks in the draft means you will be battling for a spot on the roster, I wonder if the extra scrutiny surrounding the reality show means it will be more or less likely Sams will make the team.  Scooter Update:  New broke late Friday that OWN is postponing the show which to me means it is quietly going away for good.  Apparently even Oprah cannot cross the NFL.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Echo” The Americans Season Finale, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Klapp Klapp – Little Dragon (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Ghost Stories - Coldplay

New DVD Release of the Week: Pompeii

Video of the Week: It is that time again, time for the Gathering of the Juggalos. No, not because I am interesting in going, nope I am only interest because there is a new Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial. Cypress Hill! Shock G!! Gilbert Gottfried!!! Mick Foley!!!! Ninja Olympics!!!!!


Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor, Wednesday at 8:00 on CBS: It is rare that the Survivor finale actually airs in its regular day instead of Sunday, in fact, I do not remember the last time it happened. I cannot comment much on the final four considering I have yet to watch the episode yet because the penultimate episode here was preempted for tornado warning and therefore do not know who is even left (aside from Tony who seemed pretty invincible with the Special Idol). I just hope Woo is still around and somehow lucks into the win because no one else is really worthy of winning at this point.

Around the Tubes: 5/16/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Coldplay, The Americans, Secrets of Underground London, Orange Is the New Black, Ray Donovan, Conan, and Hash at It.

- Who’s up for a good ghost story? Gather ‘round the TV this Sunday at 7:00 for the hour-long Coldplay: Ghost Stories special. A blend of live-performance footage and cinematic film, the cutting-edge special will feature impressive and innovative 360-degree imagery – around, above and below the band. Get your first taste of the immersive blend of storytelling in the trailer below.


- On the season finale of The Americans, no one is safe as Philip and Elizabeth evacuate their children while trying to complete the mission. Stan holds Nina's future in his hands.


- Following the success of the previous behind-the-scenes looks at England’s most notable landmarks, Secrets of Underground London premieres Sunday, June 22, 2014, 8:00-9:00 p.m. ET.The special precedes Materpiece Mystery! “The Escape Artist” starring David Tennant. On the surface, London is a buzzing, modern metropolis — but underneath lies a hidden world, all but forgotten by the millions of people above. From ancient caves and preserved Roman remains to mysterious rivers and plague pits, Secrets of Underground London uncovers 2,000 years of subterranean history.

- Orange is the New Black returns June 6 and here is Crazy Eyes herself, Uzo Aduba talking about her favorite scenes from the first season.



- The highest-rated freshman series in Showtme history, Ray Donovan: The First Season was released simultaneously on iTunes, Google Play, Amazon Instant Video, Vudu, Target Ticket, Sony Entertainment Network and Verizon FiOS earlier this week. Season one of Ray Donovan will also be released on DVD and Blu-ray on June 10, in time to catch-up before the broadcast premiere of the second season, which returns to SHOWTIME on Sunday, July 13th at 9:00.


- TBS and Conan O'Brien are continuing their partnership as the network has renewed the late-night series Conan through 2018. Since it premiered in November 2010, CONAN has been a hit with TBS's core audience of young adults, scoring a younger median age than any other hour-long talk show in late night.

- HashAtIt.com is set to sponsor former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Tito Ortiz in his first fight since July 2012, in the inaugural Bellator pay-per-view, scheduled for May 17, 2014. Officially launching last week, HashAtIt.com is the first social media search engine that gives users a way to gather information on any metadata tags (#hashtags) from popular social networks such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest, collecting all the results in one place.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated New Shows of Fall 2014

Two major themes among the new shows for the upcoming season. First the most obvious, after dominating the cinemas the past decade, comic books are about to take over the small screen with five new shows based on comic books to add to the two that are already there. Another big trend is diversity. Kerry Washington and Omar Epps are currently the only top line star on any network show right now that are not white (unless you also count Neil DeGrass Tyson of Cosmos; also Hallie Berry is starring in the upcoming Extant). Next season high profile non WASPs Craig Robinson (The Robinsons), Octavia Spencer (Red Band Society), Terrence Howard (Empire), Viola Davis (How to Get Away with Murder), Anthony Anderson (Black-ish), Maggie Q (Stalker) all lead new shows. Add to that two ABC comedies based around Hispanic (Cristela) and Asian (Fresh off the Boat) families and a FOX show Hieroglyph that takes place in Egypt. Granted that last show is headlined by a white dude and the Egyptians in the cast are vaguely ethnic.

After pointing out how diverse the new shows are this season, I kind of feel bad that none of them made my Most Anticipated list which is mostly filled up with superhero shows, all of which are all white. Sorry Apache Chief, no show for you yet, maybe there will be a place for you in the Justice League movie. But hey, one has a female lead, so that is progress and it is not even Wonder Woman who NBC and The CW have tried to get on the air for years. And none of the minority led shows made my least anticipated list, so there is that. But anyway. Here is my Most Anticipated list:

1. Marvel’s Agent Carter (Midseason, likely Tuesdays at 9:00 on ABC when SHIELD goes on hiatus): A show with “Marvel” in the title occupied this spot last year which turned out to be mediocre to start but built to a entertaining climax around the Captain American movie so I should be a bit weary to put another one on top again this season. Especially considering there is no trailer yet (unless you count the One Sheet that was on the Iron Man 3 DVD and only the titular character is currently signed on for the show. Howard Stark was mentioned in the press release so it seems Dominic Cooper will be around in some capacity. If the One-Sheet is considered cannon, hopefully the newly unemployed Bradley Whitford can reprise his role as Agent Carter’s boss. Of course everyone can agree Neal McDonough would be a great addition as Dum Dum Dugan. One would also assume since he was mentioned on SHIELD, Agent Triplett’s Howling Commando could also play a role. But what could make Agent Carter better than SHIELD (aside from Hayley Atwell in period costumes every week) is that since it takes place in the past, it does not have to shoehorn in everything else that is currently going on in the Marvel Universe.

2. Gotham (Mondays at 8:00 on FOX): I already talked at length about the show when the trailer was released last week (see Best of the Week: 5/10/14), so just let me reiterate, this better be worth lifting my eight year ban on Fox.


3. Constantine (Friday at 10:00 on NBC): I vaguely remember the Keanu Reeves based on the same comic book and somewhat remember being ambivalent to it. Plus the show gets the Friday death slot right out of the gate. But if NBC give the show the leeway that current inhabitant Hannibal gets, the show could do the comics justice. I am caustically optimistic.


4. Manhattan Love Story (Tuesdays at 8:30 on ABC): One more minor trend this season, there are three sitcoms this season that are basically televised versions of romantic comedies filling the void of How I Met Your Mother (ironically one of them is not How I Met Your Dad which was not picked up by CBS). The most blatant rip off is A to Z which actually stars the titular mother from How I Met Your Mother and features narration for another former sitcom star, Peg Bundy. Marry Me had me laughing a few time during the trailer, and it is always nice to see Vinnie VanLowe more often, but created by the creator of Happy Endings gives me pause. Manhattan Love Story is the one I am looking more forward to mostly because of Analeigh Tipton who ranks fairly high on the likeability scale, it is about time someone gave her a starring role in something. Unfortunately the douchebag from Greek is not. And I have to admit I was disappointed that the trailer used Aretha Franklin’s Think instead of The Gas Face by 3rd Base. I cannot be the only person who think Gas Face first when her hears that piano intro right?


5. iZombie (Midseason, The CW): Gone in one season may be eight year ban on FOX and my five year ban on The CW. After creating Veronica Mars, I am willing to give the new show from Rob Thomas a shot even if it is a zombie show on The CW starring Tinkerbell. Trailer will probably not be out until later today and I will probably update this space then once I actually get a look at it.  Scooter Update:  The CW schedule was released and iZombie was resigned to midseason and they did not even release a trailer.  Not very promising.


As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome,” here are the least anticipated shows of the season (click on their names to check out their trailers if you dare). And you know there are some stinkers when a Katherine Heigl show cannot even crack the bottom five.

1. Galavant (Midseason, likely Sunday at 8:00 on ABC during the Once Upon a Time hiatus): It is rare that I would watch something on my least anticipated shows list; actually this is the first time. In a time where marketers can make anything look watchable, the Galavant trailer looks epically bad. I am talking Cop Rocks bad. Sure, best case scenario it could turn into Robin Hood: Men in Tights, but I doubt it will last that long. But I will watch all two episodes that air.
2. The McCarthys (Thursdays at 9:30 on CBS): The show is a multicamera sitcom (strike one) about a loud, sports crazed Boston family (strike two) starring Joey McIntire (strike three). No, no, and no.
3. Jane the Virgin (Monday at 9:00 on The CW): A show called Jane the Virgin on The CW… do I need to say more?
4. Selfie (Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC): Just when you though Jane the Virgin would win the Better Off Ted Award for worst show name of the season, here comes Selfie. I dare you to watch the trailer and not think to yourself, “They canceled Suburgatory and The Neighbors for this.” The trailer is so bad, I even found myself wondering, “They canceled Mixology for this.” That is how bad the Selfie trailer looks, it made me miss Mixology.
5. NCIS: New Orleans (Tuesday at 9:00 on CBS) and CSI: Cyber (Sunday at 10:00 on CBS): CBS is just Punk’ing us at this point, right?


Of course the most fun part of the schedule release is guessing which shows will be canceled first and here are the five most likely candidates.

1. Utopia (Tuesdays at 9:00; Fridays at 9:00 on FOX): Okay this may not get canceled out right, but it will be off Tuesdays very quickly.
2. Selfie (Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC)
3. Bad Judge (Thursdays at 9:00 on NBC)
4. A to Z (Thursdays at 9:30 on NBC)
5. Scorpion (Mondays at 9:00 on CBS)


And here is what I will be watching next far including the new shows in italics that I will at least check out once or twice.

Mondays
8:00 – Gotham (Fox)
8:00 – 2 Broke Girls (CBS)
10:00 – The Blacklist (NBC)
10:00 – Castle (ABC)

Tuesdays
8:30 – Manhattan Love Story (ABC)
9:00 - Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)
9:00 – Marry Me (NBC)
9:30 – About a Boy (NBC)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor (CBS)
8:00 – The Middle (ABC)
8:30 – The Goldbergs (ABC)
9:00 – Modern Family (ABC)
9:30 – Black-ish (ABC)
10:00 – Nashville (ABC)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:30 – The Millers (CBS)
10:00 – Parenthood (NBC)

Fridays
9:00 – Grimm (NBC)
10:00 – Constantine (NBC)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (ABC)
9:00 – Resurrection (ABC)
10:00 – Revenge (ABC)

Previewing The Carbonaro Effect

For fans of magic and hidden camera show are in for a treat with the premiere of The Carbonaro Effect where actor / magician takes over jobs like checkout clerk at a grocery store and help desk at a hotel and pulls magic tricks on unsuspecting patrons. Unfortunately like a good magician, Carbonaro does not reveal how he does his tricks so you will be guessing along with his marks. We do not even get to see Carbonaro explain to the marks that he is a magician except once which is usually the best part of hidden camera shows.

Michael Carbonaro is a magician by trade, but he's a prankster at heart. In each episode of The Carbonaro Effect, he will perform baffling tricks on people in everyday situations, all caught on hidden camera. Posing as an ordinary bartender or a seemingly unremarkable salesman, Michael astonishes marks by turning a tuft of hair into a puppy or pouring 12 pints of beer from an ordinary bottle. Whether the marks are alone or with their friends, everyone is left stunned and delighted, even though they have no idea what just hit them.

Actor, magician, comedian and improv artist Michael Carbonaro is a familiar face to television viewers thanks to his appearances on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He has also played roles on Happily Divorced, The Newsroom, 30 Rock, Wizards of Waverly Place, CSI: Miami and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Michael hosts and performs shows of comedy, magic and other weird acts at various clubs around New York and Los Angeles, including Joe's Pub, Caroline's On Broadway, The Box and Hollywood's Magic Castle. Michael is an OutFest Best Actor Award winner, as well as a two-time nominee for the Academy of Magical Arts "Magician of the Year" Award.


The Carbonaro Effect airs Thursdays at 10:00 on TruTV. If you want to know more about Michael Carbonaro, he will be a guest on Hallmark Channel’s Home and Family this Thursday at 10:00 AM.

Acting Right Is So Routine, Fever Let Me Live a Dream

Not that long ago I was talking to someone about who the biggest rock band in the country was. After morning the slow decline of the genre we decided that The Black Keys held that titled depending on if you consider Mumford and Sons a rock band or not. It is amazing to think that considering that when they started they were either considered a more pure version of The White Stripes or a complete rip-off (I was in the former camp).

But with their past three albums, the Keys sounded like they were actively looking for rock stardom making short and compact rock songs like a modern day Creedence Clearwater Revival. And they achieved just that with back to back platinum album, an increasingly rare feat these days, with instant earworm guitar riff like on Lonely Boy. They even managed to cram a Led Zeppelin song into three minutes on Little Black Submarines.

So what you do when you are not the biggest band in the country? You go weird just like U2 did on Achtung Baby or Metallica with Load. After all the great riffs the duo came up with on previous albums, the first single off of Turn Blue, Fever featured a fuzzed out bass and keyboards that sound like they came from a sixties garage band. And Fever ended up just being a transition song to ease you into the new Keys, the rest of Turn Blue gets much weirder.

The album starts off with Weight of Love where the nice compact songs the duo has been crafted built around tight riffs turns into an extended near seven minute jam with multiple and lengthy guitar solos. You do not even hear Dan Auerbach’s voice until the two minute, the then the mood it set. Danger Mouse has co-produced two of the last three albums by the band, but Turn Blue is the first time his influence is truly felt as Turn Blue (I have a feeling the multiple bass grooves that populate the album are by his design) feels more like Mouse’s Broken Bells project, moody and psychedelic that seems influenced by early Pink Floyd, but the Black Keys sound is much more complete than either of the Broken Bells albums.

The best parts of Turn Blue is actually when the goes in near ballad mode. Bullet to the Brain sounds like a moodier version of Never Gonna Give You Up from Brothers. And where Broken Bells tried for a hippie version of the Bee-Gees on Holding on For Life, the Keys do a much better job at that with back to back songs Waiting on the Words and 10 Lovers.

The album closer Gotta Get Away reminded me a lot of Bound 2. No, not that I could envision Dan and drummer Patrick Carney recreate the video Seth Rogan / James Franco style, but after such a sound departure of Yeezus, it seem like Kanye West put the song at the end of the album as to say, “yeah this album may have been rough, but here is one for the long time fans who were with me back when all my songs had sped up soul samples.” For the Black Keys, after an album filly with trippy psychedelic sounds and lengthy guitar solos (the longest coming at the end of the second to last song In Our Prime), it ends with a song for those who jumped on the band’s bandwagon on the previous three albums as Gotta Get Away is their most Creedence sounding song yet. Turn Blue may not be the band’s best (and it certainly will not be its most successful), but it is definitely an album where you cannot wait to hear where the band goes next. Keep in mind Achtung Baby and Load were followed up by ever weirder Zooropa and Reload. Unfortunately both of those were followed by Pop and St. Anger.

Song to Download - Weight of Love

Turn Blue gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 5/12/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Headlights – Eminem featuring Nate Ruess


Eminem has to be the last guy I would think would release a touching music video on Mother’s Day (directed by Spike Lee to boot), but here it is, a Debbie Mathers stand in (presumably) looking for her son, with Marshal even giving her a hug.


I Choose You – Sara Bareilles


On the other end of the emotional spectrum, Sara Bareilles participated in a couple elaborate marriage proposals because how can you say no if Sara Bareillies is standing right there. I would have to think about it if Post-It Note origami was also involved..


The Wall – Willie Nelson


At eighty, Willie Nelson is getting a little nostalgic with his latest music video, listing his numerous accomplishments over his career. One stat that stood out to me was that the video listed only one Grammy Award. I had to look it up, if Wikipeadia is to be believed, he only won two more in the Country Collaborations category. That seems low for someone who has been around as long as he has.


Dare (La La La) – Shakira


It looks like Shakira is also getting a little nostalgia, at least that opening looked a lot like her first English language music video for Whenever Wherever. Or maybe I am just reading too much into it. Unfortunately this new song is annoyingly bad. Maybe she should go back to her old sound.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/11/14

Once Upon a Time: They may have foiled the Wicked Witch but it looks like some sort of curse was enacted when she was converted to porcelain and shattered by Mr. Gold. Could that have been her plan all along, or possibly a back up plan?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: So Agent Bellamy is the son of the black family that drowned in the flood. Except I am guessing that he grew up in the seventies even though his family looks like they are dressed from the time of the Dust bowl. Does this mean Agent Bellamy was the first to return about thirty years ago? I guess the timing could link up that he returned right when Jacob died. The first season was pretty pedestrian, but I am still intrigued by a second season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: Drunk Don Draper already? That did not take long. But I have to wonder if Rodger would have stayed at the commune had some hippie did not try to have sex with his daughter with him right there.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: The weakest part of the show has always been the icky teacher-student relationship but they somehow were able to come to a satisfying ending to the storyline. Not only did the creepy guard kill the teacher, the student ended up killing the creepy guard in some weird love triangle ending of Romeo and Juliet. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: I have been mostly underwhelmed by the last two seasons of Revenge after a strong debut season but who Emily brought down Conrad was the biggest “Oh snap” moment of the show, better than even anything in the first season. Hopefully the show can carry that over to the season finale and a fourth season… if there is a fourth season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So this whole time, Red has been hunted by Bane? At least I got a distinct Bane vibe from the airplane scenes except the television show cannot afford to rip a plane in two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: Wow, they actually ended the Beckett’s mother case. In the past, once the perp is caught, they move onto the next case, I do wonder if we will actually get to see any of the court proceedings with the Senator. And catching him a week before the wedding seems a bit ominous. I wonder if the Senator will be sending anyone to speak now before forever holding their peace. Assuming he does not do it himself if he is award bail.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It continues to look like Ward is still full evil, dude shot a dog. Though it is unclear if him sending FitzSimmons to the bottom of the ocean (how Angel of the writers) was a Bond villain type plan of letting them die out of sight when it is plausible they could escape, or he did that knowing the duo would find a way out and it would be safer than being on a plane with Deathlock 1.0.

We did learn a little more about Skye… sort of. The Woman in a Flower Dress thinks they are the same inside (though we have no clue that she actually is) and that it was her parents they destroyed her village and they were monsters, but no clue if they are literal or figurative monsters. One more episode left, hopefully they give some definitive answers. I also wonder if there will be any set up to Guardians of the Galaxies as this will be the last episode before that film premieres. Could Skye unknown origin be related to a character in the movie?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: Great George the Animal Steele reference.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: It seems clear that some people come on the show gunning for second place knowing that it is easier to stay on the show longer trying for runner up instead of winner. I would say Russell Hantz was the first to do this, but he may have been delusional to think he could be a douchebag to everyone and they would hand over a million dollars to him. So Russell may have just been a template for people Philip Sheppard to copy, where you just act a fool and assume someone would be smart enough to want sit next to you in the final Tribal. This season Cass is clearly the person everyone would want to sit next to at the Final Tribal except I do not think she is playing for second, she actually thinks Tony is Russell Hantz, but if she thinks she can beat Tony, or anyone else, she is as delusional as Russell. Plus Cass ruined what could have been an alltime great Tribal Council with a three way tie and a use of a Special Powers Idol all at the same Tribal. Boooooooo.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh wow, they went ahead and killed the new handler. Did not see that coming. I wonder if they are hoping Margo Martindale will be able to return next season. (Unfortunately The Millers was renewed, she and Beau Bridges deserve The Americans and Masters of Sex more than this horrible sitcom; I weep every time I watch). With only two episodes left, I am guessing Larrick will find the Jennings’ home by the end of the season. Hopefully this means Paige will finally learn of her parent’s secret lives.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: I found it interesting that they cut off the First Lady during her speech. I wonder how they came to this decision. Did she write her speech herself (or, well her own speechwriters) and they cut away from her because it got too boring. Did the show’s writers write it and then decided it went on too long? Did they write a break in the speech and when we could not hear her she was only speaking gibberish. At any rate, I was disappointed that her cameo did not involve coming to Maddie’s school to warn her the dangers of doing drugs.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I am really beginning to hate Jordon with a fiery passion. I hate him so much I am even siding with Johnny Bananas for the first time in his long history on the show.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week, for the second time this season, I assumed that the female in a dire situation would be eventually revealed to still alive by the end of the season. I was extremely wrong when it came to Beverly and it looked like I was wrong about Freddie too. I figure Will could store her out of sight until he catches Hannibal but did he really have the power to fake dental records. Apparently yes with help from Jack.

And just when you thought the show could not get any more messed up, here comes the Verger’s. I get that Mason performed an abortion on his sister to make sure he is the lone male Verger heir, but did he also remove her lady parts to make sure she would never conceive again? That was the impression that I got.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 5/10/14

Quote of the Week: Third times a charms the Browns are hoping. 2007: Brady Quinn picked 22nd. 2012: Brandon Weeden picked 22nd. 2014 Johnny Football picked 22nd. Aren’t they due? (Chris Berman, 2014 NFL Draft)

Song of the Week: Type of Way – Rich Homie Quan (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Start of the Johnny Football Era in Cleveland: All winter Johnny Manziel has been linked to the Browns at the number four pick. You saw it in every mock draft until a reporter said the Browns had more of a chance drafting him at number four than Johnny Football. Then the mock draft all switched to a glorious dream scenario, premiere wide receiver Sammy Watkins at four and quarterback Teddy Bridgwater at 26, which the Browns fleeced from the Colts for Trent Richardson. Watkins would instantly make Cleveland the most feared receiver corp. in the league along with Josh Gordon who broke records last season even with Brandon Weeden and two backups throwing to him.

It was too good to be true because this is Cleveland, nothing ever goes right. Except there was Watkins at four for the picking, everything was falling into space. Except in true Browns fashion they passed on Watkins trading the pick to the Bills for the 9th pick. Sure the Browns also get their first round pick next year that will likely be a top 15 pick as the Bills are the only tam this millennium to not make the playoffs (even the hapless Browns bade it once during the Kelly Holcomb era). But the Browns did use that pick on a Cornerback to pair with Joe Haden, though not a fearsome pair as a potential Watkins / Gordon tandem could have been.

The Browns still had the Colts pick. But then the 22nd rolled around. In the past decade, the Browns have moved up to that very number to draft Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden. Oh no. A trade is in. It is the Browns. They picked Johnny Football, a cannot miss pick who inexplicably fell like Quinn and Weeden did. Making things worse, it was reported that after spending $100,000 on a report that said Bridgewater was the best quarterback in this draft, new owner was stopped by a homeless man who told him to draft Manziel.

Who the frack takes the advice of a homeless man? He is homeless because he makes horrible decisions. And now I have to root for someone who looks like Brick Heck and is a slightly better Tim Tebow for the next two years. As Bill Simmons would say, God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Flirty Dancing” Baby Daddy, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: The Soundmaker EP – Rodrigo y Gabriela (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Turn Blue - The Black Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Eastbound & Down: Season 4

Video of the Week: I have not watched anything on Fox since the series season three finale of Arrested Development with the exception of football (I have been watching Cosmos but I get away with my Fox ban by watching the National Geographic re-airing). I stopped watching Fox because I had come to the realization that everything I watched on the channel got canceled after one season. Looking back on the last eight years, New Girl is the only show on Fox that I may have watched that got multiple seasons.

But for the first time since my ban, I am in a quandary about actually lifting my Fox ban and that reason is Gotham the upcoming Batman show that is not actually going to feature Batman. Sure the last show set in Gotham that did not actually feature Batman, Birds of Prey, did not go well, but the new show is being created by Bruno Heller, the guy who gave us Rome, one of the best television shows of the past decade. But on the flipside, a mustache-less dude from The O.C. stars as Jim Gordon and Jada Pinkett Smith plays a gangster. And the trailer looks good even though I spend most of it waiting for someone to punch Gordon and tell him, “Welcome to Gotham (expletive deleted)!”

In other networks I have a ban on, I have not watched The CW since the series finale of Everybody Hates Chris but they are also getting in the comic book game that is making me question lifting my ban. I once swore never to watch The CW until they brought back Veronica Mars. Well something called The CW Seed is doing a Veronica Mars spinoff and creator Rob Thomas is creating a show based on a comic book. Sure that comic book is something called iZombie which stars Tinkerbell. The sort of network is also creating a show based on The Flash featuring Tom Cavanaugh, who starred as Ed Stevens on the show of the same first name, one of my favorite television characters ever, as the non titular character. Add these three shows along with NBC’s Constantine and DC is finally catching up to Marvel who also bolstered it’s line up adding and Agent Carter show to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (not to mention its five Netflix shows coming next year).


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Blacklist, Monday at 10:00 on NBC: When it was announced that The Blacklist would get the coveted post-The Voice timeslot, it seemed obvious it could get a second season because even the dud that was Revolution renewed. The question was going to be, is it any good. After twenty-one episodes, the answer is a resounding yes. Now all it has to do is stick the landing (unlike, say, Lost, whose first season finale sucked after a stellar debut season). James Spader chews up the scene like no one else does and Megan Boone has been surprisingly efficient as Spader’s handler. If The Blacklist can stick the landing, it can be the best procedural hybrid on network television since Veronica Mars.

Around the Tubes: 5/9/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Maya Rudolph Show, Rosemary's Baby, Years of Living Dangerously, Bob Marley, Priyanka Chopra, Lindsey Stirling, Michael Jackson, Team Coco, Shark Girl, and Turner new shows.

- mark your calendar for The Maya Rudolph Show on Monday, May 19 at 10/9c! Enjoy your first peek at the variety show featuring celebrity guests Kristen Bell, Sean Hayes, Andy Samberg and more.


- Zoe Saldana talks about her role as Rosemary in NBC's Rosemary's Baby, starting Sunday, May 11 at 9:00.


- The groundbreaking Showtime documentary event series Years of Living Dangerously moves to a new time slot on Monday nights beginning this Monday, May 12 at 8:00. In this week’s episode, actress Olivia Munn profiles climate-conscious governor Jay Inslee of Washington State, and together they discuss the issues he’s faced since being elected. Meanwhile, New York Times columnist Mark Bittman probes New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on the topic of man-made climate change during the rebuilding of his state's coastline post-Superstorm Sandy.

- Originally released on May 8, 1984, Bob Marley’s Legend illustrates the remarkable life and recording career of one of reggae music’s most important figures. This iconic collection not only serves as the perfect introduction to the music of Bob Marley, it has become an essential part in every Marley collection. It remains the world’s best-selling reggae album and continues to be one of the best-selling catalog albums, exceeding 15 million RIAA®-certified copies in the U.S. alone and over 27 million worldwide. On July 1, 2014, Universal Music Enterprises celebrates the 30th Anniversary of Legend with the release of the CD/Blu-ray Pure Audio Disc™ combo set Legend - 30th Anniversary Edition (CD + Blu-Ray Audio Disc) (Island Records/Tuff Gong/UMe). Coupled with the original release of Legend, this deluxe version features this iconic collection entirely mixed in 5.1 by the GRAMMY® Award winning producer Bob Clearmountain on Blu-Ray Pure Audio Disc™ and now includes the original, early studio version of “No Woman No Cry,” in lieu of the previous live version. Also featured are two, previously unheard alternate takes of “Easy Skanking” and “Punky Reggae Party” recently discovered in the Marley vault.

- Beats by Dr Dre, one of America's hottest brands, will champion Priyanka Chopra's single “I Can’t Make You Love Me” with the launch of a new campaign for the popular Beats Pill XL portable Bluetooth speaker. Chopra and her new track will be featured in the national ad campaign, which will run nationwide through the end of May.


- Lindsey Stirling's Shatter Me debuted at #2 on the Billboard Top 200 and Top Current Album Charts with 56,038 albums sold in the first week following a wildly successful PledgeMusic campaign. In conjunction with manager Troy Carter's Atom Factory, the direct-to-fan platform partnered with the viral phenomenon and electronic violinist to take her fans on an incredible journey as she completed her highly anticipated collection of songs. This makes the album the highest debut album in the Billboard Top 200 this week and also lands the album at #1 on the Electronic Chart and #1 on the Classical Chart.

- Michael Jackson is music’s greatest innovator and among the most beloved performers and influential artists of all-time. In this spirit, the Estate of Michael Jackson has created a Michael Jackson world premier experience, live at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards, on ABC May 18. This is television history! Michael Jackson like you’ve never seen him before – you do not want to miss it! In other Billboard Awards news, country music superstars Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood will perform together live on the 2014 Billboard Music Awards to make the television debut of their new duet, “Somethin’ Bad.”

- Team Coco is set to launch a brand new comedy record label this summer, beginning with the release of the debut stand-up album from comedian Ian Edwards. 100% Half Assed was recorded at the world famous La Jolla Comedy Store on March 8, 2014, and will be released in June 2014. The concept for the new record label was born of an organic desire to help shine a spotlight on rising comedians while allowing them more creative control and a greater stake in the success of the release.

- Madison Stewart is an inspiring young woman with a passion to protect the creatures most people fear: sharks. Known to many simply as “shark girl,” she’s been diving with sharks since the age of 12. At 14 she dropped out of school to be home-schooled so that she could spend more time in the ocean and film her experiences underwater. Now 20, Madison has made it her life’s mission to safeguard the creatures and the reefs she loves. Her unconventional journey as a conservationist, filmmaker and activist is the subject of a new one-hour documentary, Shark Girl, premiering Sunday, June 15 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Smithsonian Channel.

- Turner channels TNT and TBS has greenlit a couple shows that will pop up in 2015, hear is a rundown:

TNT has greenlit the supernatural drama Proof, starring Jennifer Beals (The L Word, Flashdance), Matthew Modine (And the Band Played On, Weeds) and Joe Morton (Scandal, Terminator 2: Judgment Day). Also starring in the series are Callum Blue (Dead Like Me, Royal Pains), Edi Gathegi (X-Men: First Class, Justified), Annie Thurman (The Hunger Games), Sean Gleeson (Doctors, Cold Mountain) and newcomer Caroline Rose Kaplan.

TNT has greenlit Public Morals, the highly buzzed-about police drama from writer, director, executive producer and starEdward Burns (Saving Private Ryan, The Brothers McMullen, TNT's Mob City). Set in New York in the 1960s, Public Moralsalso stars Michael Rapaport (Justified, Prison Break) and Elizabeth Masucci (The Americans, Inside Amy Schumer). The series marks TNT's latest collaboration with Amblin Television, and executive producers Steven Spielberg, Justin Falveyand Darryl Frank, the team behind the network's hit series Falling Skies. Also executive-producing is Aaron Lubin, who has produced several of Burns' feature films.

TBS has greenlit the workplace comedy Buzzy's, the latest series from David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, the Emmy®-winning creators of Will & Grace. Ashley Tisdale(High School Musical), Mike Castle (Family Trap), Lauren Lapkus (Orange Is the New Black), Ryan Pinkston (Tower Prep), Matt Cook (True Blood) and six-time Emmy® nominee George Wendt (Cheers) star in the ensemble comedy, which comes to TBS from KoMut Entertainment in association with Warner Horizon Television. Kohan and Mutchnick serve as executive producers on the series and penned the pilot, which was directed by James Widdoes (Two and a Half Men).

TBS has given the greenlight to the character-driven police comedy Angie Tribeca (working title), the brainchild of Steve and Nancy Carell. Rashida Jones (The Office, Parks and Recreation) stars in the satirical look at police procedurals, along with Jere Burns (Justified, Dear John), Deon Cole (CONAN, Funny Business) and Andree Vermeulen (Laid Off,NTSF:SD:SUV). Angie Tribeca is being executive-produced by Steve and Nancy Carell through their Carousel Television, along with Campbell Smith (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart) and Thom Hinkle (I Bet You). Steve and Nancy Carell also wrote the pilot, which was directed by Steve Carell.

Previewing Penny Dreadful

We are in the golden age of horror on television. Okay, honestly we are in the only age of horror on television. When there was only three networks, the genre was too niche for precious airtime. Even as cable channels popped up the genre was too violent for basic cable and beneath premium channels that could get away with it. But the 00’s were all about pushing the boundaries, sure you still cannot say the seven words that George Carlin warned you about (well, it may be down to five four decades later), or show certain body parts on network television, but everything else has become fair game.

Then the 10’s have become the nitchification of television, it was not about how many people watch, but how many passionate people watched. So we went from no horror shows on television to an overabundance. There are psychopathic serial killers like Hannibal, comic book gross out horror like The Walking Dead, and campy horror like American Horror Story. These shows can all be traced back to Dexter and with that show having its swan song last year, Showtime is ready to get back into the horror game it started with Penny Dreadful.

Penny Dreadful start two former next big things that never quite ever made it to that next level. Josh Hartnett was a heartthrob in waiting thanks to roles in The Faculty and The Virgin Suicides but starring roles in two high profiles duds in Pearl Harbor and 40 Days and 40 Nights has put him in relative obscurity ever since. Eva Green has also been teetering on the edge for a while but has not quite gotten over that hump after being cast as a Bond Girl. Ironically the cast is filled out with the guy on the bottom of everybody’s James Bond Power Rankings: Timothy Dalton.

Much like HBO’s signature serial killer show True Detective, Penny Dreadful takes place in the 90’s. Well, actually the latter takes place in the 1890’s Victorian England. And much like Grimm, there are two worlds, one were most people live normal lives unaware of the second world with literary monsters lurking in the shadows. But instead of fairytales come to life, the world of Penny Dreadful id filled with old horror stalwarts like vampires, Frankenstein’s monster, and Dorian Grey.

Dalton is drawn into this world when his daughter is kidnapped by an unknown monster and has sworn to get her back at any cost. At some point he recruits Green, a mysterious woman who seems to know more than she lets on and is haunted by her own demons which usually show up in the form of spiders (she because even more haunting in the second episode). The show starts up when they recruit Hartnett, a brash American showman who knows his way around a gun. I am also guessing it is not a coincidence that Jack the Ripper is striking terror in the hearts of Englishmen again just as he arrives.

When Showtime debuted Dexter, it was one of a kind, a serial killer with a heart of almost gold. A decade later, Penny Dreadful needs to find a niche. It has the literary monsters like Grimm but it seems like it is going with The Walking Dead type gore mixed with Hannibal’s quality writing. Of course unlike other shows of its ilk that are still confined by a standards and practices department, it can “go there” without any constraint. I am not sure anyone wanted to see Frankenstein’s Monster in all his glory, but Showtime allows them that ability. Though it is hard to out-gross The Walking Dead who creates a new way to kill a zombie almost week, there is a scene in each episode of Penny Dreadful that will rival those scenes.

Penny Dreadful airs Sundays at 10:00 on Showtime. Even if you do not have Showtime, check your cable provider because the premium channel is having a free preview weekend starting Friday where you can watch the season premiere of Penny Dreadful as well as the latest episodes of Nurse Jackie and Californication, the television premiere of Scary Movie 5, access to Showtime on Demand where you will have access to past episodes of multiple Showtime original shows and documentaries. But if you are not one of the 74 million households that will get the free preview (sorry Time Warner subscribers, it looks like once again, no Showtime free preview for you) you can watch an edited version of the premiere on Youtube.

Feed Your iPod vol. LXXXIV: Break Your Heart

This week is sort of a Lilith Fair revival week as both creator Sarah McLachlan and tour mainstay Natalie Merchant released new album. I saw them both when the fest came to town along with Dixie Chicks and Deborah Cox. It was a weird scene for a dude to be even if I was being paid to be there. But anyway. Neither of the new albums is worth talking about. I was not a big fan of Merchant’s group 10,000 Maniacs or her first solo album. But I came around for her second album Ophelia (which of course was not as big as her first). My favorite from the set was Break Your Heart which featured backing vocals from N’Dea Davenport of The Brand New Heavies. In a time when I was heavily into agro music, Break Your Heart was a get way to mellow out at night as a way to calm down in the evening with a sweet trumpet part which was rare in pop music until recently with hits by Macklamore adn Ryan Lewis and Jason Derulo. Even more recently Ariana Grande has been sitting on top the iTunes chart with a horns heavy track even though I pretty much have the same reaction to the song as Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan. Granted those are all dance tracks, I take Merchant’s more subtle take on the instrument.

Break Your Heart - Natalie Merchant

And if You Can’t Detect the Sarcasm You’re Misunderstood

When Beyoncé dropped her album late in December, I was hoping she would chance the promotional game. Promotional cycles have started so early, by the time an album is released; most people have already moved only the next big new thing. But realistically only about five artists these days could airdrop their album out of nowhere and be as successful as Beyoncé. Unfortunately Lily Allen is not one of them. Depressingly her biggest hit stateside is being sampled by T-Pain. None of her solo music has even cracked the top forty in America.

So her rollout has been a more traditional as she has released a new song every month since November. That is six of the fourteen songs that appear on Sheezus. And with only one song being released at a time it is easy to pick the songs apart. When she released Hard Out Here I was just so happy to have Lily Allen back in my life that I initially ignored its shortcomings. But after a couple weeks, I realized that the song just was not as good as the tongue and cheek music video. The auto-tune was annoying, the lyrics about the double standards have done much better and the bridge trying to reclaim the derogatory word for women by just repeating it again and again for the bridge just did not work.

The follow up Air Balloon worked better as it was a true return to form for Allen. It was a bouncy track was reminiscent of her first album but much more fun than snarky and was good despite a weird lyric about Kurt Cobain and Elvis. Then came L8 CMMR which was originally on the Girls Soundtrack. At the time it was released I was just hoping it was just something she gave to the television show because it was not good enough for the album but unfortunately popped up on the track list to Sheezus too when it was released.

Our Time continued the trend of one good, one lackluster song. It is a more chill song than she has ever done, a just kick back and relax type of song. Then we got to hear the title track and to call it lackluster would be nice. Sure the M.I.A. type track sounded cool, but the lyrics about having a period was just embarrassing while the chorus was clunky where it is unclear if she is praising the likes of Rihanna and Lorde or burying Katy Perry and Lady Gaga (which she rhymes with LOLO ha ha). Maybe worst of all, Yeezus himself Kanye West gets nary a mention on the track.

The rest of Sheezus follows the trend of switching between good and uninspiring. You can really split the songs into the two camps with the songs where she tries to be her old snarky self not living up to her previous work while the more “grown up” tracks are much better. On former side there are songs like URL Badman (which is a worse title than L8 CMMR) and its pseudo dubstep breakdown that just do not work. While on the flip side a song like Take My Place and Close Your Eyes (which may be the most awkward slow jam ever… and I mean that in a good way) are dreamy throwbacks to mellower seventies. Insincerely Yours actually splits the difference with more boring snarky comments with a backing track that would not have been out of place on Solid Gold. Then As Long as I Got You is a more uplifting version of Not Fair but this time she co-opts zydeco music instead of country.

Lily Allen stormed the public consciousness on a wave of retro music that still managed to sound modern, which was copied by Amy Winehouse and Adele, and lyrics dipped in a heavy dose of, which was copied by every female rapper since. Three albums in and that stark it getting a little stale. Yet the highlights of Sheezus show Allen at her most mature or most vulnerable like on the very sweet cover of Somewhere Only We Know. Hopefully on future albums, Lily does not force the snark because that was her claim to fame in her early years because her growth on this album can sustain a full album down the line.

Song to Download – Our Time

Sheezus gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 5/5/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Fever – The Black Keys


Praise The Black Keys. They even got me to watch the video again just to read the names and donations. And for those that want to know what is on the other side of the phone number but do not want to call, it is online too.


Already Home - A Great Big World


When I first saw the split screen I thought this was going to be a cheap Closing Time rip off, but actually turned out to be really touching. As for the song, I think it is safe to say it will not lift A Great Big World out of one hit wonderdom. But at least we learn the other dude is also a singer, I was thinking he was a Ryan Lewis type guy who just stands around. But even singing, it is still a little weird. They should really give him an instrument to make his less weird even if it is just a tambourine.


Last Love Song - ZZ Ward


ZZ Ward got her start when her song Til the Casket Dropped was used in a promotional campaign for Pretty Little Liars and it looks like she is becoming the in house musician for the show because her new single got tapped to promote the summer premiere. Unfortunately the music video is dedicated to the horrible Ezra and Aria storyline. Since they dedicated a who music video to the affair I am fearing that the bullet wound to Erza was not fatel.


I Shot the Sheriff – N.A.S.A. featuring Karen O


Does the world need a disco version of I Shot the Sheriff? Probably not. But thanks anyway N.A.S.A..

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/4/14

Orphan Black: I would not have a problem if an episode this season features only Allison’s community theater play.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: Well that was a plot twist I did not see coming, Snow White enacting the curse, not the Wicked Witch. Granted Snow and Charming sharing half a heart was a very cheap way to keep him alive. I wonder if that is how they are able to resurrect Bae. And I have to wonder if Sleeping Beauty was one of the flying monkeys that got zapped, once everyone got their memories back, no one seemed to care if that was a possibility.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: As Tom cried over Rachael, I jokingly wanted to say to the screen, dude, she can always get resurrected again. Granted I did not think they would do it ten minutes later. If she came back so quickly, where did Caleb go? I am guessing since he is a bad person, he had to go somewhere else. And it finally took a grand exodus of the dead for the Langston family to realize their mother / wife may be back. I knew she was back when we first met her lover. After a meandering first season, hopefully with the influx of dead, things pick up next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: There is nothing more depressing than the first Betty Draper sighting of the season reminding everyone she is for some reason still part of the cast even though Betty just sticks out like a sore thumb. Okay, Don’s panic attack while going back the first time in about a year was slightly more depressing. But we did learn what exactly was Don’s status, half the partners thought he was just on permanent leave, half thought he was fired but stayed on the payroll because it would cost too much to buy him out. So Don is back in, but it sounds like he will be stuck in Lane’s old office, probably the first person since he died there, and has to report to Lew. Yeah, I put the over/under before Lew quits at four episodes.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: So the FBI teamed up with the kidnappers finally. I have a feeling it will go even further next week when the FBI agent asks the kidnappers help save her sister.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Holy Allen Alda sighting! I forgot he was even part of this show because I do not believe we have seen him yet this year. We did get to see more of his cabal and I get the sense he is part of some illuminati type group. They also brought back Red killing Lizzie’s dad except we still have no clue why so we are left to still assume he is her real dad. Apparently we will start getting some answers this week as it is the finale episode (dramatic pause) before the finale. Seriously promo monkeys, stop doing that, if you must, just tell me how many episodes are left this season, do not give me a number and have to add one for the finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So Phil was actually behind TAHITI. Huh. So the memory wipe was hopefully to stem the side effects. So what side effects will Skye get? Or will she not get any because she did not die first. Or maybe because she is an object of unknown origin. But the show seems to be back to spinning its wheels after ramping up to the Captain America movie. With only two episodes left in the season, it should be ramping up for the finale, but it feels as if we have already reached the climax of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I never understand why anyone actually buys food at the action knowing there would be some sort of advantage offered at some point. I do believe this was the first time three contestants saved their money. Of course Probst made up some rule on the fly and of course Tony got the black rock and of course he was able to find the Idol. Yawn. And next week looks worse when they may target Tony who we know has no chance of going home because he can play the stupid special powers Idol after the votes were read.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: So Henry tried breaking and entering last week and Paige tried her hand at forgery this week. Is this show just an allegory of how teenagers are like international spies? But anyway. I had to look up Annelise to see if we have actually met her yet or if her dealings with Philip was before the show started. Apparently she was in the episode where the Commies bugged the Secretary of Defense.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville:
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I had to laugh when Johnny Bananas was being so appalled that Jordan would shout down a woman when ten minute earlier we saw Bananas gleefully talking about bowling over Cara Maria.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Sure I said the same thing with Beverly, but I have a sinking suspicion that Freddie is still alive. And not only is she alive, Will actually saved her from certain death. I do not think it is a coincidence that Hannibal was sitting patiently in his clear suit after Alana told the duo that Freddie thought they were working in tandem as the Chesapeake Ripper (people who think this tend not to walk around free for very long aside from Sully who hightailed it out of town). So Will either has her secured in his basement or told her to lay low until he outs Hannibal and is content to let Hannibal think he killed Freddie.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.