57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/18/14

Once Upon a Time: C’mon, you cannot have a Marty McFly reference and not have Emma’s hand start to disappear after she keeps her parents from meeting. And I thought after they made a big deal about Charming falling in love with Snow White after seeing the ring on her finger, I thought when Emma found the ring, she would put it on and her father would fall in love with her kind of like when Marty’s mom tried to have sex with him. But that is one of those only in the eighties type storyline.

It seemed pretty obvious to me the unnamed prisoner would end up being what fairytale property the show would exploit next season. Being that she was slightly ethnic, I was thinking Jasmine from Aladdin except Once Upon a Time: Wonderland went there and I doubt the writers will want to return there after it bombed massively. I was way off; she turned out to be Maid Marian and will just be a catalyst to turn Regina slightly evil again. The big surprise to me was that Emma told Rumplstiltkin that his son dies in the future and he does not do anything about it (that we know of yet), he just drinks his forgetful drink and makes a funny joke. So Neil may actually stay dead even though it does not seem like Rumplestiltkin to let that stand.

So I wrong the person that Emma brought back from the past would predict where the show is going next season (it turns out the actress has been on the show in a previous season, but just did not leave much of a mark), the actual tease for season four turned out to be, um, I had to look it up, Princess Elsa from Frozen? Alrighty. Have they really run out of fairytales to exploit, they have to do one that is not even a year old?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: A couple weeks ago a hot blonde approached Don saying she knew him but he had no clue who she was. I originally thought that was his “niece” up until she started to hit on her. I still assumed the resemblance was not a coincidence. The niece actually showed up this week for the first time in a long while, which of course make me think of her doppelganger a couple weeks ago. Was the other more together the idealist version of her than Don remembered and the knocked up hippie was the reality? Granted that juxtaposition does not really work because Don did not actually see the new “niece” but that could be because he can still remember her the way she was. Not that any of this mattered because Ginsberg cut off his nipple to keep the computer from communicating with him. What the frack!?!
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: After a pleasurable, albeit guilty type of pleasurable, first season, this show hit a sever sophomore slump due in part to the lack of takedowns. I also blamed the lack of enjoyment of the inclusion of Aiden. Every ten episodes or so he would have a spat with Emily, leave the Hamptons, but would always find his way back after a episode or two. After two seasons they finally pulled the trigger on Aiden who I am guessing will not be returning from death anytime soon, unlike someone else.

The show teased that someone would die and with Aiden out of the way halfway through, I figured that was it. Nope, it looks like Conrad will join Aiden in, well, wherever those two may be going. But the second death was not the shocker, this time it was the murderer that was the surprise, the not so dead David Clarke. The show has teased this a couple times, but it would always go nowhere.

So this opens a whole new can of worms. Where has David been all this time? Why chose this very moment to kill Conrad? Who else knows? Nolan? Was he helping Emily from the shadows (aside from providing her with the infinity box) all this time? Will he come out of the shadows now that his name is cleared? How will Emily react to him still being alive (she just wasted a decade of her life avenging his death that did not actually happen)? And maybe most importantly, why was this not the finale for last season, or even season one? We really wasted two worthless seasons to get to this point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Shows that have a stellar first season but cannot stick the landing have me a bit worried moving forward. Call it the Lost Paradox. And The Blacklist actually made me think of a worst case: The Killing. At the end of the first season, we leaned that the mayoral candidate did the killing. But wait in the last scene the evidence against him turned out to be tampered with. I had the same reaction with Berlin, Red kills him, but wait, that was not really Berlin. Worse, I say the ending a mile away, when the other passengers were saying “He cut of his hand” I originally did think they meant Berlin cut off his own hand. And I guy we are now to assume Lizzie is Berlin’s daughter, right, and Red was the one that stole her from him?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: It was a little convenient that a room full of bikers and mobsters did not start shooting at each other. But I guess we are supposed to spend the summer thinking Castle is dead despite being the titular character. Now that Kate’s mother’s murder is closed, this will probably be the start of the next lengthy case the duo undertakes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I thought the show stalled out a bit after the Captain America premiered but that was a thoroughly entertaining finale. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Joss Weadon himself wrote those Colson / Fury scenes. I am really glad they never even tried to turn Ward good again, but I have a feeling that there will be a Loki in Thor 2 situation sometime in season three. I hope they instead use him as more of a Hannibal Lecter situation if they do bring the character back. I just do not think there is a way they could ever redeem Ward. My only disappointment with the finale (other than they let Ward live) is we did not get any more information about Skye’s origins other than her father is still alive and he has a thick bloody hand.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I had to laugh at Trish saying she was a good person in the game after the blow up with Kass. She was so unliked that someone rather quit the game than be around her for fear she would start punching her. With or without her, this is a lackluster final four. Woooooo is the only person worth rooting for but he will probably be out first unless he wins Immunity.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

Nashville: So Will actually admitted to his wife that he was gay, unfortunately for him, it looks like his reality show producers were listening. But it is about time this news came out, it hopefully will make the character interesting for once. The rest of the episode was pretty meh for a finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I would actually watch a show where Sheldon rides the rails.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Nothing better than trivia week on The Challenge, T.J. clearly enjoys it two. Australians speaking Dutch had to be my favorite answer.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Will says he knows how to set a trap, I wonder if he is actually using Jack as the bait (as seen in the season premiere and the next promo). You can also add Hannibal having Mason feed Will’s dogs with his own face to the most disturbing scenes list.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.