57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/11/14

Once Upon a Time: They may have foiled the Wicked Witch but it looks like some sort of curse was enacted when she was converted to porcelain and shattered by Mr. Gold. Could that have been her plan all along, or possibly a back up plan?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: So Agent Bellamy is the son of the black family that drowned in the flood. Except I am guessing that he grew up in the seventies even though his family looks like they are dressed from the time of the Dust bowl. Does this mean Agent Bellamy was the first to return about thirty years ago? I guess the timing could link up that he returned right when Jacob died. The first season was pretty pedestrian, but I am still intrigued by a second season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: Drunk Don Draper already? That did not take long. But I have to wonder if Rodger would have stayed at the commune had some hippie did not try to have sex with his daughter with him right there.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: The weakest part of the show has always been the icky teacher-student relationship but they somehow were able to come to a satisfying ending to the storyline. Not only did the creepy guard kill the teacher, the student ended up killing the creepy guard in some weird love triangle ending of Romeo and Juliet. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: I have been mostly underwhelmed by the last two seasons of Revenge after a strong debut season but who Emily brought down Conrad was the biggest “Oh snap” moment of the show, better than even anything in the first season. Hopefully the show can carry that over to the season finale and a fourth season… if there is a fourth season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So this whole time, Red has been hunted by Bane? At least I got a distinct Bane vibe from the airplane scenes except the television show cannot afford to rip a plane in two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: Wow, they actually ended the Beckett’s mother case. In the past, once the perp is caught, they move onto the next case, I do wonder if we will actually get to see any of the court proceedings with the Senator. And catching him a week before the wedding seems a bit ominous. I wonder if the Senator will be sending anyone to speak now before forever holding their peace. Assuming he does not do it himself if he is award bail.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It continues to look like Ward is still full evil, dude shot a dog. Though it is unclear if him sending FitzSimmons to the bottom of the ocean (how Angel of the writers) was a Bond villain type plan of letting them die out of sight when it is plausible they could escape, or he did that knowing the duo would find a way out and it would be safer than being on a plane with Deathlock 1.0.

We did learn a little more about Skye… sort of. The Woman in a Flower Dress thinks they are the same inside (though we have no clue that she actually is) and that it was her parents they destroyed her village and they were monsters, but no clue if they are literal or figurative monsters. One more episode left, hopefully they give some definitive answers. I also wonder if there will be any set up to Guardians of the Galaxies as this will be the last episode before that film premieres. Could Skye unknown origin be related to a character in the movie?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: Great George the Animal Steele reference.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: It seems clear that some people come on the show gunning for second place knowing that it is easier to stay on the show longer trying for runner up instead of winner. I would say Russell Hantz was the first to do this, but he may have been delusional to think he could be a douchebag to everyone and they would hand over a million dollars to him. So Russell may have just been a template for people Philip Sheppard to copy, where you just act a fool and assume someone would be smart enough to want sit next to you in the final Tribal. This season Cass is clearly the person everyone would want to sit next to at the Final Tribal except I do not think she is playing for second, she actually thinks Tony is Russell Hantz, but if she thinks she can beat Tony, or anyone else, she is as delusional as Russell. Plus Cass ruined what could have been an alltime great Tribal Council with a three way tie and a use of a Special Powers Idol all at the same Tribal. Boooooooo.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh wow, they went ahead and killed the new handler. Did not see that coming. I wonder if they are hoping Margo Martindale will be able to return next season. (Unfortunately The Millers was renewed, she and Beau Bridges deserve The Americans and Masters of Sex more than this horrible sitcom; I weep every time I watch). With only two episodes left, I am guessing Larrick will find the Jennings’ home by the end of the season. Hopefully this means Paige will finally learn of her parent’s secret lives.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: I found it interesting that they cut off the First Lady during her speech. I wonder how they came to this decision. Did she write her speech herself (or, well her own speechwriters) and they cut away from her because it got too boring. Did the show’s writers write it and then decided it went on too long? Did they write a break in the speech and when we could not hear her she was only speaking gibberish. At any rate, I was disappointed that her cameo did not involve coming to Maddie’s school to warn her the dangers of doing drugs.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I am really beginning to hate Jordon with a fiery passion. I hate him so much I am even siding with Johnny Bananas for the first time in his long history on the show.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week, for the second time this season, I assumed that the female in a dire situation would be eventually revealed to still alive by the end of the season. I was extremely wrong when it came to Beverly and it looked like I was wrong about Freddie too. I figure Will could store her out of sight until he catches Hannibal but did he really have the power to fake dental records. Apparently yes with help from Jack.

And just when you thought the show could not get any more messed up, here comes the Verger’s. I get that Mason performed an abortion on his sister to make sure he is the lone male Verger heir, but did he also remove her lady parts to make sure she would never conceive again? That was the impression that I got.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 5/10/14

Quote of the Week: Third times a charms the Browns are hoping. 2007: Brady Quinn picked 22nd. 2012: Brandon Weeden picked 22nd. 2014 Johnny Football picked 22nd. Aren’t they due? (Chris Berman, 2014 NFL Draft)

Song of the Week: Type of Way – Rich Homie Quan (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Start of the Johnny Football Era in Cleveland: All winter Johnny Manziel has been linked to the Browns at the number four pick. You saw it in every mock draft until a reporter said the Browns had more of a chance drafting him at number four than Johnny Football. Then the mock draft all switched to a glorious dream scenario, premiere wide receiver Sammy Watkins at four and quarterback Teddy Bridgwater at 26, which the Browns fleeced from the Colts for Trent Richardson. Watkins would instantly make Cleveland the most feared receiver corp. in the league along with Josh Gordon who broke records last season even with Brandon Weeden and two backups throwing to him.

It was too good to be true because this is Cleveland, nothing ever goes right. Except there was Watkins at four for the picking, everything was falling into space. Except in true Browns fashion they passed on Watkins trading the pick to the Bills for the 9th pick. Sure the Browns also get their first round pick next year that will likely be a top 15 pick as the Bills are the only tam this millennium to not make the playoffs (even the hapless Browns bade it once during the Kelly Holcomb era). But the Browns did use that pick on a Cornerback to pair with Joe Haden, though not a fearsome pair as a potential Watkins / Gordon tandem could have been.

The Browns still had the Colts pick. But then the 22nd rolled around. In the past decade, the Browns have moved up to that very number to draft Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden. Oh no. A trade is in. It is the Browns. They picked Johnny Football, a cannot miss pick who inexplicably fell like Quinn and Weeden did. Making things worse, it was reported that after spending $100,000 on a report that said Bridgewater was the best quarterback in this draft, new owner was stopped by a homeless man who told him to draft Manziel.

Who the frack takes the advice of a homeless man? He is homeless because he makes horrible decisions. And now I have to root for someone who looks like Brick Heck and is a slightly better Tim Tebow for the next two years. As Bill Simmons would say, God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Flirty Dancing” Baby Daddy, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: The Soundmaker EP – Rodrigo y Gabriela (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Turn Blue - The Black Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Eastbound & Down: Season 4

Video of the Week: I have not watched anything on Fox since the series season three finale of Arrested Development with the exception of football (I have been watching Cosmos but I get away with my Fox ban by watching the National Geographic re-airing). I stopped watching Fox because I had come to the realization that everything I watched on the channel got canceled after one season. Looking back on the last eight years, New Girl is the only show on Fox that I may have watched that got multiple seasons.

But for the first time since my ban, I am in a quandary about actually lifting my Fox ban and that reason is Gotham the upcoming Batman show that is not actually going to feature Batman. Sure the last show set in Gotham that did not actually feature Batman, Birds of Prey, did not go well, but the new show is being created by Bruno Heller, the guy who gave us Rome, one of the best television shows of the past decade. But on the flipside, a mustache-less dude from The O.C. stars as Jim Gordon and Jada Pinkett Smith plays a gangster. And the trailer looks good even though I spend most of it waiting for someone to punch Gordon and tell him, “Welcome to Gotham (expletive deleted)!”

In other networks I have a ban on, I have not watched The CW since the series finale of Everybody Hates Chris but they are also getting in the comic book game that is making me question lifting my ban. I once swore never to watch The CW until they brought back Veronica Mars. Well something called The CW Seed is doing a Veronica Mars spinoff and creator Rob Thomas is creating a show based on a comic book. Sure that comic book is something called iZombie which stars Tinkerbell. The sort of network is also creating a show based on The Flash featuring Tom Cavanaugh, who starred as Ed Stevens on the show of the same first name, one of my favorite television characters ever, as the non titular character. Add these three shows along with NBC’s Constantine and DC is finally catching up to Marvel who also bolstered it’s line up adding and Agent Carter show to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (not to mention its five Netflix shows coming next year).


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Blacklist, Monday at 10:00 on NBC: When it was announced that The Blacklist would get the coveted post-The Voice timeslot, it seemed obvious it could get a second season because even the dud that was Revolution renewed. The question was going to be, is it any good. After twenty-one episodes, the answer is a resounding yes. Now all it has to do is stick the landing (unlike, say, Lost, whose first season finale sucked after a stellar debut season). James Spader chews up the scene like no one else does and Megan Boone has been surprisingly efficient as Spader’s handler. If The Blacklist can stick the landing, it can be the best procedural hybrid on network television since Veronica Mars.

Around the Tubes: 5/9/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Maya Rudolph Show, Rosemary's Baby, Years of Living Dangerously, Bob Marley, Priyanka Chopra, Lindsey Stirling, Michael Jackson, Team Coco, Shark Girl, and Turner new shows.

- mark your calendar for The Maya Rudolph Show on Monday, May 19 at 10/9c! Enjoy your first peek at the variety show featuring celebrity guests Kristen Bell, Sean Hayes, Andy Samberg and more.


- Zoe Saldana talks about her role as Rosemary in NBC's Rosemary's Baby, starting Sunday, May 11 at 9:00.


- The groundbreaking Showtime documentary event series Years of Living Dangerously moves to a new time slot on Monday nights beginning this Monday, May 12 at 8:00. In this week’s episode, actress Olivia Munn profiles climate-conscious governor Jay Inslee of Washington State, and together they discuss the issues he’s faced since being elected. Meanwhile, New York Times columnist Mark Bittman probes New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on the topic of man-made climate change during the rebuilding of his state's coastline post-Superstorm Sandy.

- Originally released on May 8, 1984, Bob Marley’s Legend illustrates the remarkable life and recording career of one of reggae music’s most important figures. This iconic collection not only serves as the perfect introduction to the music of Bob Marley, it has become an essential part in every Marley collection. It remains the world’s best-selling reggae album and continues to be one of the best-selling catalog albums, exceeding 15 million RIAA®-certified copies in the U.S. alone and over 27 million worldwide. On July 1, 2014, Universal Music Enterprises celebrates the 30th Anniversary of Legend with the release of the CD/Blu-ray Pure Audio Disc™ combo set Legend - 30th Anniversary Edition (CD + Blu-Ray Audio Disc) (Island Records/Tuff Gong/UMe). Coupled with the original release of Legend, this deluxe version features this iconic collection entirely mixed in 5.1 by the GRAMMY® Award winning producer Bob Clearmountain on Blu-Ray Pure Audio Disc™ and now includes the original, early studio version of “No Woman No Cry,” in lieu of the previous live version. Also featured are two, previously unheard alternate takes of “Easy Skanking” and “Punky Reggae Party” recently discovered in the Marley vault.

- Beats by Dr Dre, one of America's hottest brands, will champion Priyanka Chopra's single “I Can’t Make You Love Me” with the launch of a new campaign for the popular Beats Pill XL portable Bluetooth speaker. Chopra and her new track will be featured in the national ad campaign, which will run nationwide through the end of May.


- Lindsey Stirling's Shatter Me debuted at #2 on the Billboard Top 200 and Top Current Album Charts with 56,038 albums sold in the first week following a wildly successful PledgeMusic campaign. In conjunction with manager Troy Carter's Atom Factory, the direct-to-fan platform partnered with the viral phenomenon and electronic violinist to take her fans on an incredible journey as she completed her highly anticipated collection of songs. This makes the album the highest debut album in the Billboard Top 200 this week and also lands the album at #1 on the Electronic Chart and #1 on the Classical Chart.

- Michael Jackson is music’s greatest innovator and among the most beloved performers and influential artists of all-time. In this spirit, the Estate of Michael Jackson has created a Michael Jackson world premier experience, live at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards, on ABC May 18. This is television history! Michael Jackson like you’ve never seen him before – you do not want to miss it! In other Billboard Awards news, country music superstars Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood will perform together live on the 2014 Billboard Music Awards to make the television debut of their new duet, “Somethin’ Bad.”

- Team Coco is set to launch a brand new comedy record label this summer, beginning with the release of the debut stand-up album from comedian Ian Edwards. 100% Half Assed was recorded at the world famous La Jolla Comedy Store on March 8, 2014, and will be released in June 2014. The concept for the new record label was born of an organic desire to help shine a spotlight on rising comedians while allowing them more creative control and a greater stake in the success of the release.

- Madison Stewart is an inspiring young woman with a passion to protect the creatures most people fear: sharks. Known to many simply as “shark girl,” she’s been diving with sharks since the age of 12. At 14 she dropped out of school to be home-schooled so that she could spend more time in the ocean and film her experiences underwater. Now 20, Madison has made it her life’s mission to safeguard the creatures and the reefs she loves. Her unconventional journey as a conservationist, filmmaker and activist is the subject of a new one-hour documentary, Shark Girl, premiering Sunday, June 15 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Smithsonian Channel.

- Turner channels TNT and TBS has greenlit a couple shows that will pop up in 2015, hear is a rundown:

TNT has greenlit the supernatural drama Proof, starring Jennifer Beals (The L Word, Flashdance), Matthew Modine (And the Band Played On, Weeds) and Joe Morton (Scandal, Terminator 2: Judgment Day). Also starring in the series are Callum Blue (Dead Like Me, Royal Pains), Edi Gathegi (X-Men: First Class, Justified), Annie Thurman (The Hunger Games), Sean Gleeson (Doctors, Cold Mountain) and newcomer Caroline Rose Kaplan.

TNT has greenlit Public Morals, the highly buzzed-about police drama from writer, director, executive producer and starEdward Burns (Saving Private Ryan, The Brothers McMullen, TNT's Mob City). Set in New York in the 1960s, Public Moralsalso stars Michael Rapaport (Justified, Prison Break) and Elizabeth Masucci (The Americans, Inside Amy Schumer). The series marks TNT's latest collaboration with Amblin Television, and executive producers Steven Spielberg, Justin Falveyand Darryl Frank, the team behind the network's hit series Falling Skies. Also executive-producing is Aaron Lubin, who has produced several of Burns' feature films.

TBS has greenlit the workplace comedy Buzzy's, the latest series from David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, the Emmy®-winning creators of Will & Grace. Ashley Tisdale(High School Musical), Mike Castle (Family Trap), Lauren Lapkus (Orange Is the New Black), Ryan Pinkston (Tower Prep), Matt Cook (True Blood) and six-time Emmy® nominee George Wendt (Cheers) star in the ensemble comedy, which comes to TBS from KoMut Entertainment in association with Warner Horizon Television. Kohan and Mutchnick serve as executive producers on the series and penned the pilot, which was directed by James Widdoes (Two and a Half Men).

TBS has given the greenlight to the character-driven police comedy Angie Tribeca (working title), the brainchild of Steve and Nancy Carell. Rashida Jones (The Office, Parks and Recreation) stars in the satirical look at police procedurals, along with Jere Burns (Justified, Dear John), Deon Cole (CONAN, Funny Business) and Andree Vermeulen (Laid Off,NTSF:SD:SUV). Angie Tribeca is being executive-produced by Steve and Nancy Carell through their Carousel Television, along with Campbell Smith (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart) and Thom Hinkle (I Bet You). Steve and Nancy Carell also wrote the pilot, which was directed by Steve Carell.

Previewing Penny Dreadful

We are in the golden age of horror on television. Okay, honestly we are in the only age of horror on television. When there was only three networks, the genre was too niche for precious airtime. Even as cable channels popped up the genre was too violent for basic cable and beneath premium channels that could get away with it. But the 00’s were all about pushing the boundaries, sure you still cannot say the seven words that George Carlin warned you about (well, it may be down to five four decades later), or show certain body parts on network television, but everything else has become fair game.

Then the 10’s have become the nitchification of television, it was not about how many people watch, but how many passionate people watched. So we went from no horror shows on television to an overabundance. There are psychopathic serial killers like Hannibal, comic book gross out horror like The Walking Dead, and campy horror like American Horror Story. These shows can all be traced back to Dexter and with that show having its swan song last year, Showtime is ready to get back into the horror game it started with Penny Dreadful.

Penny Dreadful start two former next big things that never quite ever made it to that next level. Josh Hartnett was a heartthrob in waiting thanks to roles in The Faculty and The Virgin Suicides but starring roles in two high profiles duds in Pearl Harbor and 40 Days and 40 Nights has put him in relative obscurity ever since. Eva Green has also been teetering on the edge for a while but has not quite gotten over that hump after being cast as a Bond Girl. Ironically the cast is filled out with the guy on the bottom of everybody’s James Bond Power Rankings: Timothy Dalton.

Much like HBO’s signature serial killer show True Detective, Penny Dreadful takes place in the 90’s. Well, actually the latter takes place in the 1890’s Victorian England. And much like Grimm, there are two worlds, one were most people live normal lives unaware of the second world with literary monsters lurking in the shadows. But instead of fairytales come to life, the world of Penny Dreadful id filled with old horror stalwarts like vampires, Frankenstein’s monster, and Dorian Grey.

Dalton is drawn into this world when his daughter is kidnapped by an unknown monster and has sworn to get her back at any cost. At some point he recruits Green, a mysterious woman who seems to know more than she lets on and is haunted by her own demons which usually show up in the form of spiders (she because even more haunting in the second episode). The show starts up when they recruit Hartnett, a brash American showman who knows his way around a gun. I am also guessing it is not a coincidence that Jack the Ripper is striking terror in the hearts of Englishmen again just as he arrives.

When Showtime debuted Dexter, it was one of a kind, a serial killer with a heart of almost gold. A decade later, Penny Dreadful needs to find a niche. It has the literary monsters like Grimm but it seems like it is going with The Walking Dead type gore mixed with Hannibal’s quality writing. Of course unlike other shows of its ilk that are still confined by a standards and practices department, it can “go there” without any constraint. I am not sure anyone wanted to see Frankenstein’s Monster in all his glory, but Showtime allows them that ability. Though it is hard to out-gross The Walking Dead who creates a new way to kill a zombie almost week, there is a scene in each episode of Penny Dreadful that will rival those scenes.

Penny Dreadful airs Sundays at 10:00 on Showtime. Even if you do not have Showtime, check your cable provider because the premium channel is having a free preview weekend starting Friday where you can watch the season premiere of Penny Dreadful as well as the latest episodes of Nurse Jackie and Californication, the television premiere of Scary Movie 5, access to Showtime on Demand where you will have access to past episodes of multiple Showtime original shows and documentaries. But if you are not one of the 74 million households that will get the free preview (sorry Time Warner subscribers, it looks like once again, no Showtime free preview for you) you can watch an edited version of the premiere on Youtube.

Feed Your iPod vol. LXXXIV: Break Your Heart

This week is sort of a Lilith Fair revival week as both creator Sarah McLachlan and tour mainstay Natalie Merchant released new album. I saw them both when the fest came to town along with Dixie Chicks and Deborah Cox. It was a weird scene for a dude to be even if I was being paid to be there. But anyway. Neither of the new albums is worth talking about. I was not a big fan of Merchant’s group 10,000 Maniacs or her first solo album. But I came around for her second album Ophelia (which of course was not as big as her first). My favorite from the set was Break Your Heart which featured backing vocals from N’Dea Davenport of The Brand New Heavies. In a time when I was heavily into agro music, Break Your Heart was a get way to mellow out at night as a way to calm down in the evening with a sweet trumpet part which was rare in pop music until recently with hits by Macklamore adn Ryan Lewis and Jason Derulo. Even more recently Ariana Grande has been sitting on top the iTunes chart with a horns heavy track even though I pretty much have the same reaction to the song as Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan. Granted those are all dance tracks, I take Merchant’s more subtle take on the instrument.

Break Your Heart - Natalie Merchant

And if You Can’t Detect the Sarcasm You’re Misunderstood

When Beyoncé dropped her album late in December, I was hoping she would chance the promotional game. Promotional cycles have started so early, by the time an album is released; most people have already moved only the next big new thing. But realistically only about five artists these days could airdrop their album out of nowhere and be as successful as Beyoncé. Unfortunately Lily Allen is not one of them. Depressingly her biggest hit stateside is being sampled by T-Pain. None of her solo music has even cracked the top forty in America.

So her rollout has been a more traditional as she has released a new song every month since November. That is six of the fourteen songs that appear on Sheezus. And with only one song being released at a time it is easy to pick the songs apart. When she released Hard Out Here I was just so happy to have Lily Allen back in my life that I initially ignored its shortcomings. But after a couple weeks, I realized that the song just was not as good as the tongue and cheek music video. The auto-tune was annoying, the lyrics about the double standards have done much better and the bridge trying to reclaim the derogatory word for women by just repeating it again and again for the bridge just did not work.

The follow up Air Balloon worked better as it was a true return to form for Allen. It was a bouncy track was reminiscent of her first album but much more fun than snarky and was good despite a weird lyric about Kurt Cobain and Elvis. Then came L8 CMMR which was originally on the Girls Soundtrack. At the time it was released I was just hoping it was just something she gave to the television show because it was not good enough for the album but unfortunately popped up on the track list to Sheezus too when it was released.

Our Time continued the trend of one good, one lackluster song. It is a more chill song than she has ever done, a just kick back and relax type of song. Then we got to hear the title track and to call it lackluster would be nice. Sure the M.I.A. type track sounded cool, but the lyrics about having a period was just embarrassing while the chorus was clunky where it is unclear if she is praising the likes of Rihanna and Lorde or burying Katy Perry and Lady Gaga (which she rhymes with LOLO ha ha). Maybe worst of all, Yeezus himself Kanye West gets nary a mention on the track.

The rest of Sheezus follows the trend of switching between good and uninspiring. You can really split the songs into the two camps with the songs where she tries to be her old snarky self not living up to her previous work while the more “grown up” tracks are much better. On former side there are songs like URL Badman (which is a worse title than L8 CMMR) and its pseudo dubstep breakdown that just do not work. While on the flip side a song like Take My Place and Close Your Eyes (which may be the most awkward slow jam ever… and I mean that in a good way) are dreamy throwbacks to mellower seventies. Insincerely Yours actually splits the difference with more boring snarky comments with a backing track that would not have been out of place on Solid Gold. Then As Long as I Got You is a more uplifting version of Not Fair but this time she co-opts zydeco music instead of country.

Lily Allen stormed the public consciousness on a wave of retro music that still managed to sound modern, which was copied by Amy Winehouse and Adele, and lyrics dipped in a heavy dose of, which was copied by every female rapper since. Three albums in and that stark it getting a little stale. Yet the highlights of Sheezus show Allen at her most mature or most vulnerable like on the very sweet cover of Somewhere Only We Know. Hopefully on future albums, Lily does not force the snark because that was her claim to fame in her early years because her growth on this album can sustain a full album down the line.

Song to Download – Our Time

Sheezus gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 5/5/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Fever – The Black Keys


Praise The Black Keys. They even got me to watch the video again just to read the names and donations. And for those that want to know what is on the other side of the phone number but do not want to call, it is online too.


Already Home - A Great Big World


When I first saw the split screen I thought this was going to be a cheap Closing Time rip off, but actually turned out to be really touching. As for the song, I think it is safe to say it will not lift A Great Big World out of one hit wonderdom. But at least we learn the other dude is also a singer, I was thinking he was a Ryan Lewis type guy who just stands around. But even singing, it is still a little weird. They should really give him an instrument to make his less weird even if it is just a tambourine.


Last Love Song - ZZ Ward


ZZ Ward got her start when her song Til the Casket Dropped was used in a promotional campaign for Pretty Little Liars and it looks like she is becoming the in house musician for the show because her new single got tapped to promote the summer premiere. Unfortunately the music video is dedicated to the horrible Ezra and Aria storyline. Since they dedicated a who music video to the affair I am fearing that the bullet wound to Erza was not fatel.


I Shot the Sheriff – N.A.S.A. featuring Karen O


Does the world need a disco version of I Shot the Sheriff? Probably not. But thanks anyway N.A.S.A..

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/4/14

Orphan Black: I would not have a problem if an episode this season features only Allison’s community theater play.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: Well that was a plot twist I did not see coming, Snow White enacting the curse, not the Wicked Witch. Granted Snow and Charming sharing half a heart was a very cheap way to keep him alive. I wonder if that is how they are able to resurrect Bae. And I have to wonder if Sleeping Beauty was one of the flying monkeys that got zapped, once everyone got their memories back, no one seemed to care if that was a possibility.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: As Tom cried over Rachael, I jokingly wanted to say to the screen, dude, she can always get resurrected again. Granted I did not think they would do it ten minutes later. If she came back so quickly, where did Caleb go? I am guessing since he is a bad person, he had to go somewhere else. And it finally took a grand exodus of the dead for the Langston family to realize their mother / wife may be back. I knew she was back when we first met her lover. After a meandering first season, hopefully with the influx of dead, things pick up next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: There is nothing more depressing than the first Betty Draper sighting of the season reminding everyone she is for some reason still part of the cast even though Betty just sticks out like a sore thumb. Okay, Don’s panic attack while going back the first time in about a year was slightly more depressing. But we did learn what exactly was Don’s status, half the partners thought he was just on permanent leave, half thought he was fired but stayed on the payroll because it would cost too much to buy him out. So Don is back in, but it sounds like he will be stuck in Lane’s old office, probably the first person since he died there, and has to report to Lew. Yeah, I put the over/under before Lew quits at four episodes.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: So the FBI teamed up with the kidnappers finally. I have a feeling it will go even further next week when the FBI agent asks the kidnappers help save her sister.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Holy Allen Alda sighting! I forgot he was even part of this show because I do not believe we have seen him yet this year. We did get to see more of his cabal and I get the sense he is part of some illuminati type group. They also brought back Red killing Lizzie’s dad except we still have no clue why so we are left to still assume he is her real dad. Apparently we will start getting some answers this week as it is the finale episode (dramatic pause) before the finale. Seriously promo monkeys, stop doing that, if you must, just tell me how many episodes are left this season, do not give me a number and have to add one for the finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So Phil was actually behind TAHITI. Huh. So the memory wipe was hopefully to stem the side effects. So what side effects will Skye get? Or will she not get any because she did not die first. Or maybe because she is an object of unknown origin. But the show seems to be back to spinning its wheels after ramping up to the Captain America movie. With only two episodes left in the season, it should be ramping up for the finale, but it feels as if we have already reached the climax of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I never understand why anyone actually buys food at the action knowing there would be some sort of advantage offered at some point. I do believe this was the first time three contestants saved their money. Of course Probst made up some rule on the fly and of course Tony got the black rock and of course he was able to find the Idol. Yawn. And next week looks worse when they may target Tony who we know has no chance of going home because he can play the stupid special powers Idol after the votes were read.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: So Henry tried breaking and entering last week and Paige tried her hand at forgery this week. Is this show just an allegory of how teenagers are like international spies? But anyway. I had to look up Annelise to see if we have actually met her yet or if her dealings with Philip was before the show started. Apparently she was in the episode where the Commies bugged the Secretary of Defense.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville:
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I had to laugh when Johnny Bananas was being so appalled that Jordan would shout down a woman when ten minute earlier we saw Bananas gleefully talking about bowling over Cara Maria.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Sure I said the same thing with Beverly, but I have a sinking suspicion that Freddie is still alive. And not only is she alive, Will actually saved her from certain death. I do not think it is a coincidence that Hannibal was sitting patiently in his clear suit after Alana told the duo that Freddie thought they were working in tandem as the Chesapeake Ripper (people who think this tend not to walk around free for very long aside from Sully who hightailed it out of town). So Will either has her secured in his basement or told her to lay low until he outs Hannibal and is content to let Hannibal think he killed Freddie.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 5/3/14

Quote of the Week: You have stiff competition but I believe you to be the most dishonest person I have worked with. (Jim Cutler, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: It Must Be Done – Pete Townshend and Nathan Barr (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Donald Sterling Straight up Racist that Sucker Is, Simple and Plain: It is a not very well kept secret that Donald Sterling is a horrible person and probably a racist. The guy has been in and out of the courtroom for years with whispers of horrible treatment of his Clippers team, which should thrive in the second biggest city in the country but has been in the playoffs less times in his tenure than fingers in my left hand.

So it did not come as a shock when a tape allegedly of the owner popped up on the internet when he chided his girlfriend for posting pictures of Magic Johnson on her Instragram page. Sure she could have slept with him, according to Sterling, just not broadcast it on the internet or bring black people to his games (even though he employs a majority of them on his team).

Of course outrage followed even though all the sportswriter and players probably already knew Sterling thought things like this. But then something surprising did happen, Sterling got banned from the NBA for life and will likely be forced to sell his team; so much for Tony Kornheiser calling commissioner soft on Pardon the Interruption every week.

Sure what Sterling said was horrible, but a lifetime ban seemed a little harsh. I would have preferred to let the market play out, let the sponsors drop the Clippers, let season ticket holders not renew their tickets, have free agents refuse to go there until the team was so devalued Sterling would be forced to sell that way. Now he gets to sell to a buyers’ market instead of trying to unload a devalued team. So Roger Sterling will likely profit handsomely from his racism (he bought the team in the millions and will likely sell it in the billions). But the morel of the story kiddies and old people alike: nothing is private anymore and you may want to act like someone is recording you because likely someone is.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Right Place, Right Time” Melissa and Joey, Wednesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: World Café – Noisetrade EP – Kaiser Chief (Noisetrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Sheezus - Lily Allen

New DVD Release of the Week: The Veronica Mars Movie

Video of the Week: We Came Together may have the best logline ever for a movie poster: “Ed Helms will star opposite of Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler! – Deadline.com” but I have to wonder if the rom-com parody can actually last an entire movie. I got sort of tired of it just watching the trailer.


Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday-Saturday on ESPN: When your team only has one playoff appearance in fifteen seasons the NFL Draft becomes your Super Bowl. Now the Browns are on their countless new regime since returning to the league and will likely draft a quarterback with one of their two first round pick (or maybe use them both to move up in the draft) to extend their lead of most starting quarterback in the last decade and a half (currently twenty, two more than the Dolphins; seventeen more than the Patriots). Only Tim Couch started all sixteen games in one season. So sorry to Johnny Football, Teddy Bridgewater, or whatever sap that the Browns end up taking. But when you battling with Brian Hoyer, Vince Young, and Tyler Thigpen, for the starting job, it should not be hard to become starter twenty-one.

Around the Tubes: 5/2/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Penny Dreadful, The Hotwives of Orlando, Eric and Jessie: Game On, Home and Family, The Strain, Michael W. Smith, Masters of Sex, and a slew of Syfy news including, yes, a Sharknado 3.

- Showtime is offering viewers nationwide a chance to sample its highly-anticipated new drama Penny Dreadful across multiple platforms in advance of its series premiere in two weeks. The series premiere can be accessed now across multiple platforms including YouTube, on the Showtime website, via a number of television providers' free On Demand channels and websites, and on Showtime on Demand®. The premiere episode is also available for free via Showtime AnytimeE on any computer, iPhone®, iPad®, Android™ phones and tablets, Kindle Fire™, Roku and Amazon Fire TV streaming players anywhere in the U.S., on Hulu, and on the Showtime Preview app on Smart TVs from Samsung, LG, Vizio, Panasonic and Sony. Additionally, as a special treat for its subscribers, Showtime will debut the series’ second episode on Showtime Anytime immediately following the series premiere on Sunday, May 11th at 10:00.

- The Hotwives of Orlando, a Hulu Original Series, will premiere on Tuesday, July 15. From Paramount Digital Entertainment, Hotwives is produced by Emmy© award-winning producer Jonathan Stern and Emmy© nominated producer Paul Scheer. Paramount Digital Entertainment is the studio behind the outrageous Emmy© nominated comedy "Burning Love." All episodes will be available on Hulu Plus on July 15; the first two episodes will be available on Hulu.com, with a new episode releasing each week after that. Season one is a laugh-out-loud parody of the phenomenon that is reality housewives shows. With an all-star cast that includes the Hotwives Casey Wilson as The Trophy Wife ("Happy Endings"), Angela Kinsey as The Religious Zealot ("The Office"), Kristen Schaal as The Drug Addled Former Child Star ("Flight of the Conchords"), Tymberlee Hill as The Entrepreneur ("Drunk History"), Danielle Schneider as The Bankrupt Overspender ("Upright Citizens Brigade") and Andrea Savage as The Cougar ("Step Brothers"), and Paul Scheer (“The League”) who plays the Enthusiastic TV producer Matty Green.

- The Season Finale of Eric & Jessie: Game On is here! With two weeks left to go in the pregnancy, Eric and Jessie start prepping for their move to NY and the baby surprises them with an early arrival. Watch as Vivian Rose Decker makes her debut this Sunday at 10/9c on E!.


- Hallmark Channel is proud to announce its original Daytime Emmy®-nominated show, Home & Family, has earned a third season renewal. The fun and informative two-hour lifestyle program, currently in its second season on the network, is co-hosted by Emmy® Award nominee Mark Steines and TV personality and bestselling culinary author and expert Cristina Ferrare. From its start in 2012, the show has been the ultimate destination for helping viewers live their best lives, showing audiences helpful “how-to” segments on everything from cooking tasty recipes to crafting the perfect DIY décor, finding the best bargains, discovering the newest at-home gadgets and learning weight-loss tips, all while incorporating top entertainment in the form of celebrity guest interviews and musical performances. Home & Family airs weekdays at 10am ET/PT, 9C.

- His army will rise this summer. The Strain. Only on FX.


- Charity Buzz, which offers one of a kind experiences with celebrities and other people of interest to benefit various charities, is offering a chance for one fan and a guest to be the winning bidder for a VIP Trip to Puerto Rico to meet Michael W. Smith and Natasha Owens; a genre innovator and a rising star on the Christian Pop landscape who are together once more for a string of dates which culminate in this special event to benefit the charity Stepping Stone Support, an organization helping men & women affected by cancer and infertility. The bidding is open now for this one of a kind VIP meet & greet with Grammy award winner Michael W. Smith & Christian Pop newcomer Natasha Owens at their May 24, 2014 Concert in Puerto Rico - bid here: charitybuzz.com

- Emmy-winning comedian and actress Sarah Silverman is joining the cast of season two of the acclaimed Showtime drama series Masters of Sex. Silverman will recur in the guest starring role of Helen. Production on season two is currently underway in Los Angeles, and will premiere on Sunday, July 13th at 10:00 on Showtime.

- Syfy released a slew of news this week, here are the highlights:

They announced that it will develop as longform programming Pax Romana, Jonathan Hickman’s graphic novel about a time traveling clash of ages and arms, and Ronin, based on Frank Miller’s (300) comic book series, about an avenging samurai.

Pax Romana is about a Special Forces team that travels back in time on the eve of World War III to “fix” the future by altering the past. Their destination: Ancient Rome. Roman legions battle modern day attack helicopters, tanks and soldiers, while thought-provoking themes are explored as the leaders of the expedition fight over their vision for civilization. Writers: Matthew Federman & Stephen Scaia (Jericho, Warehouse 13, Human Target). Co-executive producer: Jonathan Hickman. Executive producers: David Alpert of Circle of Confusion (The Walking Dead), Federman and Scaia. A production of Universal Cable Productions.

In Ronin, published by DC Entertainment, eight centuries after a Japanese Ronin samurai failed to protect his master from a demon, he awakens in a futuristic, nihilistic New York in the body of Billy, a medical experiment. Now Billy/Ronin is chasing the demon, which has reawakened. Both parties want control of a sword with magical properties and will stop at nothing to get it back. Studio: Warner Horizon.
Building on the momentum of Syfy’s growing slate of cutting edge, provocative original programming, Syfy this week announced it was developing adaptations of the graphic novels Clone, from Robert Kirkman and David Alpert (The Walking Dead) and Letter 44, from Jonathan Mostow (Terminator 3), as well as the popular novels The Magicians, based on the book series by Lev Grossman.

NEW SCRIPTED SERIES DEVELOPMENT

Clone – Based on the best-selling graphic novel. When retired soldier Luke Taylor investigates a break-in at his house, he never expected who the burglar would be: A clone of himself. Drawn into a vast government conspiracy when his wife is kidnapped, Luke must use all his combat skills and network of military contacts to get to the bottom of the secret biotech program that is responsible and the hidden agenda that goes all the way to the top levels of power. Writer/Executive Producer: David Schulner (Dracula, Ironside). Executive Producers: Robert Kirkman of Skybound Entertainment (Creator, EP, Writer of The Walking Dead) and David Alpert of Circle of Confusion (The Walking Dead). Studio: Universal Television.

Letter 44 – Based on the graphic novels of the same name. It is tradition for the preceding President to leave a letter for the newly elected President on the desk of the Oval Office. In this letter, new President Stephen Blades learns this stunning secret: seven years earlier, NASA discovered an alien construction project in the asteroid belt. A crew of heroic astronauts was sent to investigate and they're nearing the conclusion of their epic journey.
Executive Producer/Writer/Director: Jonathan Mostow (Terminator 3). Executive Producers: Eric Gitter (Scott Pilgrim vs the World) and Peter Schwerin (The Flock, Scary Movie 2) from Closed on Mondays. Executive Producer: Renee Echevarria (4400, Terra Nova). Studio: A co-production of Universal Television and Universal Cable Productions.

Magicians – Based on the book series, The Magicians, by Lev Grossman, the one-hour drama follows a group of 20-somethings in New York who study magic and discover that the magical fantasy world they read about as children is real and poses a grave danger to Earth.

Syfy this week announced a new unscripted series, the comedic docuseries Town of the Living Dead (WT), which follows a small Alabama town trying to complete their own independent zombie movie – which has been six years in the making.

In Town of the Living Dead, premiering Tuesday, October 7 at 10PM, the colorful folks of Jasper, Alabama are determined, once and for all, to complete their zombie movie,Thr33 Days Dead… now six long years in the making. Based on a town urban legend, their film centers on a group of friends trying to survive a zombie apocalypse in rural Alabama. The series will follow the intrepid and motley crew of amateur filmmakers as they struggle against every obstacle imaginable to get to a final cut of their film…which could someday become a movie!

Continuing a major expansion of its scripted primetime programming schedule, Syfy this week announced a new 10-episode space adventure drama series, Killjoys, which will premiere in 2015.

From the producers of Orphan Black (Temple Street Productions) and the creator of Lost Girl (Michelle Lovretta), Killjoys follows a fun-loving, hard living trio of interplanetary bounty hunters sworn to remain impartial as they chase deadly warrants throughout the Quad, a distant system on the brink of a bloody, multiplanetary class war.

Syfy today announced that Tricia Helfer, who played the humanoid Cylon “Number Six” in the iconic award-winning series Battlestar Galactica, will star in the channel’s new original, six hour event series Ascension.

Helfer will play the beautiful, manipulative and dangerous “Viondra Denniger.” Viondra regards herself as a not-so-secret power broker aboard the Ascension. As the Captain’s wife, Viondra is afforded a position of power and privilege, which she leverages as the Ship’s Chief Steward.

In 1963, the U.S. government launched a covert space mission sending hundreds of men, women and children on a century-long voyage aboard the starship Ascension to populate a new world. Nearly 50 years into the journey, as they approach the point of no return, the mysterious murder of a young woman causes the ship’s population to question the true nature of their mission.

And yes, there will be a Sharknado 3. As a reminder, Sharknado 2: The Second One, starring Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer and Judah Friedlander, and directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, will premiere on Syfy Wednesday, July 30 at 9:00.

My First Album Had No Famous Guest Appearances, the Outcome: I'm Crowned the Best Lyricist

We live in an era of overnight success. Since the nineties, record labels have put millions of dollars launching new artists making it hard not to get at least one minor hit with enough promotion. Back in the day, even some of the biggest stars took a while to hit; Bruce Springsteen did not have a top fifty album or top one hundred single until his third album. Billy Joel’s first album did not even crack the top one hundred. Even Prince needed five albums to hit the top ten on either Billboard chart.

Even though we live in an era of instant fame, most of those overnight successes are lucky to have more than two good songs on their debut albums. It is very rarely that any artist comes out the gates with a five mic album but Nas did that with Illmatic, this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. In a time when rap was moving to the west coast, Nas reminded everyone where the genre was birthed bringing the focas back to the east coast with the help of Wu-Tang Clan and The Notorious B.I.G..

Ten tracks, not a weak or skipable one among them or even a misplaced lyric in the forty minutes. Illmatic is one of the rare albums you ripped to your computer as a whole in a time before iTunes. Nas had the laid back delivery of A Tribe Called Quest with the street knowledge of KRS-One. And the production was on point, from Gang Starr’s DJ Premiere on New York State of Mind (which has been gone on to be sampled more times to count) to the Human Nature sampling It Ain’t Hard to Tell.

After Illmatic, Nas spent the next twenty years chasing the next classic. He created some better songs like If I Ruled the World and came close with Stilmatic but never a finer album he created than Illmatic. But of course his debut is one of the best in history, not just rap but of all music.

I Wanna Be the Guy Who Breaks All the Rules

Before Mumford and Sons ushered in the folk rock earlier this decade, Ray LaMontagne was having modest success with his straight from a log cabin in New Hampshire esthetic. And he managed to find that success with minimal promotion. It seemed like Ray would release an album, go on tour, perform on the occasional late night talk show, and then go back to the woodland of New Hampshire until the next album. The only other promotion I have ever seen him do was VH1 Storytellers during his last album cycle.

For his fourth album, it seems like Lamontagne is gunning for the mainstream as he just released his first music video and brought in a big name producer for Supernova in Dan Aurbach who won the Producer of the Year, Non-Classical Grammy last year (if 2013 was the year of Pharrell, hopefully 2014 turns into the year of Auebach between this, Lana Del Rey, and his own The Black Keys album). The first single and title track was his poppiest song to date. But the thing is, it is pop in seventy’s pop rock radio from the seventies kind of was. It sounds like it would fit in between Steve Miller Band and Bob Seger on seventies AM radio, not between Adele and The Lumineers today. Ojai follows that trend sounding like it was heavily influenced by Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Lodi.

As a whole Supernova is Ray’s weirdest album to date. Sure there are those seventies pop rock ditties, but he also goes psychedelic many other tracks. The album opens with Lavender which sounds like something out of Haight-Ashbury in the late sixties. And that hippie vive continues on songs like Airwaves, Pick Up Gun, and No Other Way with its lyrics about flowers will inspire images of the ultimate hippie ode: San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers In Your Hair) while Smashing sounds like less adventurous Syd Barrett era Pink Floyd.

But the best track on Supernova is probably the most contemporary. She’s the One is a pure modern day rock song which sounds like what it may sound like if Ray did front The Black Keys as a trio. The song has the same dirty blues the duo is known for and it goes really well with Ray’s gritty voice. The closest Lamontagne gets to his folk rock is Drive-In Movies which closes out the album, and just like the subject, it is hard to reminiscence over his old sound after sitting through a mostly psychedelic album.

Song to Download – She's the One

Supernova gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 4/29/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Sheezus – Lily Allen


Lily Allen’s new song is cool in a M.I.A. kind of way with a freaky music video, but Lily, no one wants to hear about your period. No one.


Marilyn Monroe - Pharrell Williams


Oh Pharrell, the hat was a good way to grab attention at the Grammy’s, but after you sold it to Arby’s, that should have been it, going with different colors of the same hat is being to be a bad look. And what is with the random Kelly Osbourne sighting in the video?


First Things First – Neon Trees


I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the latest Neon Trees album as a whole. First Things First did not stand out when I listened to it in the context of the album, but now hearing it outside the context of the album, I like it much more than the other singles released from it. Plus the video does a really god job creating a connection with the band.


Hello Kitty - Avril Lavigne


Just last week I was mentioning that if something if someone claims something is not racist, I am inclined to go into it assuming that it is racist. Avril Lavigne set off an internet firestorm with accusations of racism with her new video so much that it was actually pulled for a short time. Stupidly someone put it back up, not because it is overtly racist (she is not doing anything that Gwen Stefani did a decade ago for a whole album cycle) but because the video, racist or not, and song may be the most embarrassing someone posted this year.

Previewing Fish Tank Kings: Season Two

In a bit of synergy, Caesar Millan will be appearing on the new season of Fish Tank Kings when he commissions Living Color to build something at his Dog Psychology Center. But Caesar does not want them to build a tank; he wants them to build a pond… in the desert. Yep, Caesar wants an aquatic oasis koi pond with no viable water source for miles. How the Kings find water dates back long before you would think technology would come up with a better technique.

Caesar does not show up until the May 12 episode but before then there are a couple more jobs that the Fish Tank Kings are tasked to do that they have never done before. Tonight’s premiere features a guy who wants the Kings to build the largest private aquarium they have ever done. Oh, and he wants it done on the second floor office space. And he wants sharks.

Also this season, fish expert Francis heads to the frigid waters off the coast of Vancouver for an octopus while the boys back home have to design an aquarium to make sure the octopus, an animal that likes to hide in cracks and crevices, can be seen at all times for the new Rosamond Gifford Zoo exhibit. Another client wants crystal instead of coral in his fish tank which causes some problems because the coral is usually where they hide the filtration system. The Kings also try to design a tank so elaborate it will trick the client into thinking the whole house was built around it.


Fish Tank Kings airs Mondays at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/27/14

Orphan Black: (Please not this is a review of last week's episode) I watched the first season over the course of about a week last summer and it is always a little weird when you switch from marathoning to weekly watching. I was ready to watch a new episode the next day but alas, that is not an option when you watch it like. I need my soccer mom fix. Much like the first season, Alison stole the premiere with the three most entertaining scenes: using her mace and rape whistle, her community theater production, and getting a piece for Sarah (and how she delivered it to her).
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: So Cora orchestrated her daughter to be married to a dude she used to be engaged to? Eww. Maybe that séance should have taken place on Springer. And I am starting to think the Wicked Witch’s spell is going to succeed, just not the way she wants. I predicted that they will go back far enough to save Neil, but not far enough for the Wicked Witch to kill Snow White’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last week it seemed like Don was still on his indefinite hiatus but the partners make it seem that he was fired but still on the payroll. Are they keeping him around just to keep him from going anywhere else? And just when you thought Don’s life could not get any more depressing, he gets fully dressed at 8:00 just to meet with his secretary who he has spying for him.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: Ever since it was hinted that the kidnappers had an overall noble endgame (show the CIA’s evil super-soldier program) I figured it was only a matter of time before they would team up with the FBI. I am guessing the ending is the start of that where they help each other out and slowly turn the CIA into the bad guys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Voice: Yep, I am pretty much done with this season. Hopefully they find some actual interesting singers next season. But as the last three seasons have played out, I get the sence the show is not interested in those types of singers anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The Blacklist: After he promos, I was expecting a better fight between Mr. and Mrs. Keen than that. You could even see Tom check himself whe hitting Lizzie with the chair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When agent Ward turned heel, I had a sinking suspicion that he would eventually turn out to be a triple agent and he just stunned Agent Hand and all the others he “killed.” That I getting less likely after wiping the blood of Agent Koenig from his strangling wire. But why bring in Patton Oswaltt only to kill him a week later. Oh well, at least next week has Robin Scherbatsky!
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: After teasing it about a month ago, we finally learned what “special powers” the new Idol has and it is extremely stupid. Basically Tony can play the Idol even after the votes are read. Now we know Tony will not be voted off because he calls pull out his Idol even after the votes have been read ruining all suspense. At least with the regular Idol there is the suspense of will someone use it or not, if they give it away, will they give it to the right person, a lot of different scenarios. Now we know if Tony is targeted, he is safe no matter what. This is so stupid. They have rolled out plenty of stupid ideas on Survivor, but "Special Idol" may overtake Redemption Island as dumbest of all.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Yeah, communist going to church went about as well as I expected it to. But I did not think Philip actually went to the church to actually beat up the minister, I thought he was just going to steal the money back. But the minister calling him out for his anger issues actually worked.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Bad Teacher: Dick Casablancas, Antoine Meriwether, and Dr. Dre deserved better than this.
You can download Bad Teacher on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I stopped watching The Real World circa Las Vegas, the first one, but I do listen to Grantland’s The Right Reason’s podcast so I had high hopes for “Hurricane” Nia. Unfortunately she was not even a high wind warning. Even during the After Show she seemed like the normal one next to Jasmine. This has to be the biggest bust since Jamarcus Russell. At least she gave us a good quote on her way out, “You don’t go for 85 minutes and not wimp out. That is over an hour and a half.”
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: This is the best looking show on television, but that whole home invasion scene just came off as clunky, it just never felt very well paced. The season itself has seemed to hit a lull after Will was released from prison and now we wait until Jack confronts Hannibal from the season premiere flash forward.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.