It seems that it gets harder and harder to do this list every year. I am not sure if music is actually getting better or if I am just able to avoid horrible music better. But there are a few songs that got under my skin this year and most involving Nicki Minaj or Chris Brown (a whopping thirteen songs between them).
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
As theatrical as Taylor Swift has been, it is a bit surprising that this is the first music video with an overblown two minute monologue that is not part of the original song to start a video. And of course it is presented in widescreen. But I am not sure we needed the Taylor Swift version of Trainspotting, she should go back to making rom-com style videos.
Speaking of unnecessary intros, Alicia Keys has to deal with some skeevy director in her new video. Maybe he was the one who forced her to wear that horrible Barbara Streisand / A Star Is Born wig. She was right to rip it off.
I did not even realize that was supposed to be an animated version of Brandon Flowers until I saw him with the rest of the animated The Killers. I am still not completely sure that is supposed to be him. And if that is not confusing enough, apparently the old dude is the old Brandon. Then to make it even more confusing Eric Roberts shows, which I guess this makes it a sequel to Mr. Brightside? Does that make Mr. Brightside and Miss Atomic Bomb a couple? The band must have felt very reminiscent this week because they also released their second Tim Burton directed video (but not stop motion animated but just as weird as Bones) for Here with Me. The video makes me wonder when Hollywood is going to get around to a Mannequin remake.
I liked Skylar Grey when she was a moody indie chick, but this, oh goodness no. This song is horrible even if it is supposed to be semi-ironic, which I am not even sure it is supposed to be.
The first season of Homeland was quality entertainment. And the crazier that Carrie got, the more entertaining the show got. Then the episode where Carrie went off her meds was one of the most entertaining hours of television ever. But here is the thing about the first season, as crazy as Carrie was, and even though Saturday Night Live made a sketch where Fake Saul said “When has Carrie ever let me down except for every time?” she was right every time. Brody was turned; he was going to blow up the Vice President and the Director of the CIA.
Then in the second season, Carrie stayed on her meds and was relatively sane the whole season aside from the weird smile she had after kicking a Syrian in the man region and disobeying orders to storm Brody’s room to call him a disgrace to his country. She was also very wrong every time this season. And maybe it was because she was a different kind of crazy this season: crazy in love. C’mon, she gleefully arrests the guy early in the season and is quick to believe a known terrorist who killed the president (and already tried to kill Estes once already) when he said he had nothing to do with his car exploding.
And it is really hard to believe Brody. How does he not realize that forty pounds of C4 were in his back seat? Who, if not Brody put it there? And who moved his car? Galvez? It is about as believable as cold hearted assassin Quinn deciding to defy his orders (and why did Estes just give up, if I were him, I would just hire another black ops guy to kill Quinn then get rid of Brody). Unless Quinn and F. Murray Abraham wanted something happen to press their own agenda. And you know there has to be something more to Abraham than some dude who eats breakfast at the same place every day for decades.
Of course season two is just a small part of the entire season and the writers have proven to be smarter than us before. Remember everyone scoffing when Chris Brody was watching the Wizards beating the Heat as the most unbelievable storyline among a sea of unbelievable storylines. And do know what happened in real life weeks later: Wizards 105-Heat 101. But I have to say I am less excited for season three than I was for season two.
I really hate when Survivor brings back two or three returning players. It gives the players a huge advantage because they have already played the game and it is an extreme advantage to keep around the guy (kind of sexist that it is always guys) who knows how to make a fire, camp and the ins and outs of the game. Of all the players they have brought back all but two has made it to the merge. And one of them was Russell Hantz so of course they got rid of the snake as soon as they could and even sabotaged their own tribe to get him out.
With that said I did not mind who they brought back for Survivor: Philippines. In fact when they first announced Redemption Island I thought the people they should have brought back were those that had to be removed from the game medically. If anyone deserved redemption it would be those players. Why exactly did Russell and Boston Rob need redemption? Michael Skupin, needed some redemption after falling into the fire. And finally after a decade, he gets some. And we got to see that him falling into the fire was not a freak accident, the guy is a legitimate klutz.
Also brought back was Jonathan Penner who had to leave the game the second time he played (his claim to fame from the first time was when he stupidly Mutinied and was promptly voted off). Then there was the other Russell from Samoa who’s near death experience was one of the many freak occurrences that allowed Hantz to take control of the game, and for that I will never forgive him for almost dying. Russell did not have much luck this time around because he was put with maybe the most inept ever (the hillbilly smoker, the paranoid chick, the airhead pageant queen)
But maybe it was not Russell that was cursed because right after getting voted out, his tribemate Denise got shipped off to another tribe who then lost two straight challenges (and a third went home due to, of course, medical reasons; see you in ten years Dana). Amazingly Denise survived both tribes, made it the merge, went to every tribal council (the first time ever) and still ended up winning by a landslide. It may take time to digest the season as a whole, but eventually she is in the discussion of greatest Survivor ever.
The season was also notable for have two “celebrities” on it. Celebrities in that that had a certain amount of fame, but Blair Warner pretty much has not been heard from since leaving The Facts of Life while Jeff Kent played baseball in a time when a whole generation decided not to watch. The guy played last decade and only one person recognized him (or at least told the cameras). Surprisingly the former teen star outlasted the baseball all-star. But the star of the season was the volatile Brazilian Abi-Maria who had to be the center of attention so much that after Malcolm announced he had an Immunity Idol and Probst asked if anyone else wanted to reveal theirs, she went ahead and whipped hers out in the single most memorable Tribal Council ever. I really how some wise television producers recruits Abi and Camilla from The Challenge for some sort of hot headed Brazilian reality show. I know I would watch.
Quote of the Week: What are you even doing here? Why don’t you go live with that crazy woman and leave alone. (Dana, Homeland)
Song of the Week: Good King Wenceslas – Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)
Scene of the Week:
Big News of the Week: Four years ago there was a boost of gun sales among the gun nuts fearing that the newly elected Obama would take away their guns or at least make it harder to purchase guns. Except he did not introduce one anti-gun legislation and even ignored a question asked at the debate. Not after someone shot up a mosque. Not after a nutjob dressed up like The Joker and shot up a theater in Colorado. Someone even shot one of his colleagues in the Congress in the face and he did nothing. So I doubt that a bunch of school children will even get Obama to become the anti-gun president that the gun nuts feared. But something needs to be done. Can we please at least reintroduced the bill to again ban assault riffles and other guns that make it easy to kill hundreds of people without even reloading. I am sure that arming school children like some of the gun nuts suggest is the solution.
Preview Picture of the Week:
Homeland: Sure Carrie is clinically insane, but I just do not understand how this Carrie, who absolves Brody of the murder of the Vice president of the United States of America, is the same Carrie who ignored her superior’s order so she could stand over Body and tell him he is a disgrace to his country while detaining him for being a terrorist. But anyway.
So now the biggest boogyman of the series, Abu Nazir, is dead but we still have one more episode left. I know I said this prior to the first season, but Brody cannot make it to the next season, right? I do not see any way out of it for him except if Saul goes to the press with Estes assassination of a sitting Congressman plot. Even then, Brody would end up in jail with a mountain of evidence (and certainly someone will realize that he was along with the Vice President when he died and get suspicious). Granted, why is Brody not dead already? Why did Quinn not kill Brody in between his house and Carrie’s? Seemed like a good time for a “car accident” which makes me think Brody will inexplicably make it to season three. Either that or Carrie will kill him when she realizes Brody is still a terrorist.
The Voice: Somewhat uneventful week because it was clear it was time for Trevin Hunte to go and he did (not that it always works out that way because Trevin should have went home two weeks ago instead of Amanda Brown). I guess the most shocking revelation was that the show would have a final two. Sure Mark Burnett has an unhealthy obsession with final threes even though everyone watching hate them (see Survivor) but me thinks that they made have done it this way so Blake would be the only coach with a contestant in the finals.
Speaking of Blake’s final two, when Carson first said they were going to sing Little Talks, my first thought was, is there some classic rock song I am forgetting that is called Little Talks (this is Terry McDermott who was singing) because they certainly are not going to perform that weird indie pop song. But they did sing the weird indie pop song which was very high on my list of songs I never thought I would hear on a karaoke show. And just when you think it would not get any weirder, Carson announces Of Monsters and Men were randomly in the audience (which begs the question, why did they have them sing the song).
This week we also got to see the triumphant return of RaeLynn although, I much prefer when she is stomping around like a grown up version of Toddlers and Tierra’s. No more mid tempos and ballad RaeLynn. If Cee-Lo is managing Juliet Simms, she needs to find new representation because her new song was a train wreck. And Chris Mann still sucks massively. Christina’s claim of him being the most commercially successful when the song he performed could not even crack the top 100 on iTunes when RaeLynn made it into the top 25. Even Juliet’s train wreck got into the 40’s. But I did predict last season that RaeLynn would be the most successful of the first two season and it looks like I am going to be right.
No Power Rankings this week because Cassadee Pope is the inevitable winner, the only question is who is second (I am hoping for Nicholas David).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice by clicking on the artist’s name.
How I Met Your Mother: The show has had some pretty bad ideas in its run, but family with benefits has to be the worst hands down.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Parenthood: Of course they did not let Kristina die because I would have started a riot. I now it is not realistic, but they better they better just cure her in the next episode because I am not sure I can deal with it anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.
Survivor: Philippines: After one of the best season in recent memory, it is kind of a boring foursome for the finale. Sadly nobody believed Abi-Maria’s fake Immunity Idol story. But do know what Abi, it may not have been the best strategy to call someone who hope to vote with you a moron and an idiot multiple times.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.
The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: I was three episodes behind because Time Warner Cable and / or MTV forgot to add that episode to the On Demand which finally was uploaded this week. And of course the episode they waited three weeks to upload was not only the best episode of the season, it may have well been the single greatest episode ever in the history of The Challenge. Seriously, the whole house got in a twenty minute fight culminating in what is now my favorite insult of all time when Frank said Dustin just has “porn Muscles”. Awesome. Not so awesome was the following week when Marie tried to get in on the action, clearly doing it solely for the cameras. Hopefully she never gets asked back because faking crazy for the camera is not entertaining. Whereas Nany is legitimately crazy should be asked back to the next five seasons. And it is amazing over the course three episodes that Trishelle went from certainly going home because her partner Alton basically quit to probably going to win the whole thing (I really doubt Devyn or Sam will be able to make to the end).
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.
Deal of the Week: Best Selling MP3 Albums for Just $2.99: Amazon MP3 announced their latest batch of super cheap albums, and there are a bunch of soft rock hits from the 00’s including John Mayer, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, and Taylor Swift.
Video of the Week: I love the Nolan The Dark Knight Trilogy, but to be honest, I prefer my superheroes with a side of kitsch so I am not sure if we really need a super serious, super dark Superman series. We definitely do not need a Superman with a Ben Affleck in Argo beard. With that said, superheroes are only as good as his nemesis so the trailer did need more Zod in it so I should hold my judgement until we se more of him. And it definitely needs more Amy Adams as Lois Lane. But I have a feeling this will be another one and done movie from the Superman franchise. I hope I am wrong.
Next Week Pick of the Week: Homeland, Sunday (tomorrow) at 10:00: Abu Nazir is dead, Vice President Walden is dead, Roya is in prison. But we still have one more episode left so there will be one more explosion left. Will that explosion go thanks to Brody or will Quinn explode Brody’s head first. And let’s not forget that Brody also blamed Estes for Issa’s death so his safety is not guaranteed especially after blackmailing Saul. And I have not even brought up crazy Carrie yet, I have long stopped trying to guess what she will do.
I have rounded up my favorite lyrics of the year for you to guess. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section (or e-mail me). If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.
1. Give me a second I… I need to get my stories straight. My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State. (We Are Young - Fun featuring Janelle Monáe; guessed by Kevin) 2. The stairs creak as I sleep, it’s keeping me awake. It’s the house telling you to close your eyes. 3. You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. 4. It started with a whisper and that is when I kissed her. And then she made my lips hurt. 5. Bless my heart, bless my soul, didn’t think I’d make it to twenty-two years old. There must be someone up above. Say c’mon Britney you gotta come on up. 6. How does it feel, oh how does it feel to be you right now? You brought this apart so pick up your piece and go. Please just let me go now. 7. Oh, can it be, the voices calling me? They get lost and out of time. I should’ve seen it glow. But everybody knows that a broken heart is blind. 8. We both know it’s not what it seems. We both know what’s between the sheets. I know that it’s a secret and that I got keep it. 9. Take me at your best friend’s house. Go around this round-about, oh yeah. Take me to your best friend’s house. I loved you then and I love you now, oh yeah. 10. If happy ever after still exists, I would still be holding you this. And all of the faiytales are full of (expletive deleted). One more (expletive deleted) love song and I’ll be sick. 11. I just met you, and this is crazy. 12. Human beings in a mob. What’s a mob to a king? What’s a king to a God? What’s a God to a non-believer who don’t believe in anything? 13. I’m a good man with a good heart. Had a tough time, got a rough start. But I’ve finally learned to let it go. 14. This is it boy, this is war. What are we waiting for? Why don’t we break the rules already? 15. First there lights out then its lock up. Masterpieces serving maximum sentences. It’s their own fault for being timeless. 16. Love is not a whisper or a weakness. No love is strong so we got to get together. 17. But does not make logical, if you say I’m just an animal. You can’t explain away the way I feel. 18. No troubles ever gonna take anything away from me. 19. Pull it out, turn it up, what’s your favorite song. That’s mine, I’ve been crying to it since I was young. 20. No I don’t like you I just thought you were cool enough to kick it. Got a beach house I can sell you in Idaho. 21. It’s better to feel pain then nothing at all. The opposite of love is indifference. 22. And you would hide away with some indie records that’s so much cooler than mine. 23. Fear like a habit, run like a rabbit out and away through the screen door to the unknown. And I wanna love you and more, I wanna find you and more. Where do you reside when you hide how can I find ya? 24. I lit a fire with the love you left behind and it burned wild and crept up the mountain side. I followed your ashes into outer space. 25. We got engaged on s Friday Night. I swore on the head of our unborn child that I could take care of the three of us. But I got the tendency to slip when the nights get wild. It’s in my blood.
I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest, Andrew Dice Clay's Indestructible, Whisker Wars, Portlandia, Girls, Enlightened, King of the Nerds, Arbitrage, Bro, Leader of the Pack, The Incredible Dr. Pol, Huffington Post's Best Movies, and Playboy.
- Note to ABC: We all loved Dick Clark and New Years Eve will not be the same without you, but titling your special Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2013 is really clunky. But anyway. This year there will be a two hour special on Dick Clark starting at 8:00 while Ryan Seacrest starts the festivities at 10:00 going all the way to 2:12 in the morning (with a break for your local news at 11:00). Justin Bieber, Jason Aldean, Greyson Chance, Ellie Goulding and The Wanted will be performing on the west coast. In New York Psy, Taylor Swift, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Neon Trees, performing live in Times Square.
- If the Ryan Seacrest affair is a bit cheesy for you, you cam ring in the new year with Andrew Dice Clay as his comedy special Indestructible will premiere 10:00.
- New episode of Whisker Wars is on IFC tonight at 10:00 and stick around because right afterwards there will be a special “Winter in Portlandia” episode.
- The new seasons of Girls and Enlightened returns to HBO January 13 at 9:00 and you can check out the key art for both below:
- So King of the Nerds, premiering January 17 on TBS, is just Beauty and the Geek without the beauties and Revenge of the Nerds alumni as hosts. Sure, I’ll still watch. But maybe it is time for a Beauty and the Geek reboot.
- Out on DVD and / or Blu Ray over the next couple weeks include Arbitrage (12/21) which features Richard Gere as a hedge-fund magnate whose fortunes turn when a deadly error threatens to destroy both his financial empire and his family as well as the motocross film Bro (12/18) starring Danny Trejo.
- Just a reminder to fans of Cesar Millan fans, his new series Leader of the Pack is set to premiere early next year on January 5 at 10:00 on Nat Geo Wild. The show matches abandoned Dogs with the best adoption candidate to provide a permanent home for a new canine companion. And prior to that at 9:00 will be the return of The Incredible Dr. Pol.
- It is that time of year for the best of list (mine coming next week) and the Huffington Post has released their list of the 30 Best Movies of 2012. Sadly it looks like That’s My Boy just missed their list.
- In the latest issue of Playboy (hitting newsstands 12/18), Scott Speedman answers this issues 20Q where he talks about why he despises social media. In his funny and candid interview he covers his stalker, his selective Canadian pride, and the odds that he’ll be starring in a superhero movie.
Bruno Mars is perfectly mediocre. You are not going to actually buy his music, but you are also not going to switch the channel when he comes on the radio. It is probably why his music is so popular on karaoke shows, his songs are inoffensive and his voice is mediocre enough that you will not embarrass yourself singing one his songs like the morons who think they can match notes on an Adele song. But some would argue it is better to be horrible than mediocre because you can get more attention being horrible. I believe scientists call this The Rebecca Black Phenomenon which was recently perfected by the Gangnam Style dude. And even though Mars is much better than Psy, I do find myself thinking about Psy more often. Sure it is a fiery cauldron of hate, but like they say, it is better when people talk about you then do not talk about you (i.e. The Kardashian Paradigm).
Then Bruno Mars came out with Locked Out of Heaven much dirtier than anything on his debut with some annoying chopped up yeah’s (but hey, annoying is more memorable than mediocre), and was a changed note away from getting sued by The Police for ripping off Message in a Bottle. Even the album art is a bit offensive with a close up of a woman’s chest with a plunging neckline.
But for the rest of Unorthodox Jukebox, Bruno Mars is back to just nine other hard to hate songs. There is not a bad song on here and most certainly be the soundtrack of many of Middle School dances and Vegas is currently taking bets one weather someone on The Voice or American Idol will be the first to have a contestant sing Young Girls. There really is not unorthodox about these jukebox of songs, it is exactly what you expect from a Bruno Mars album, overwrought lyrics, danceable music for your bar mitzvah, be it awkward grooving or even more awkward arms length slow dancing with the cute chick whose braces are supposed to come off in the next week.
The “jukebox” instead sounds like Mars checking off his influences. The New Wave of Locked Out of Heaven, the eighties soft rock of Moonshine (when Mars sings moonshine, I swear I can hear Don Johnson singing Heartbeat, I do not think that is particularly a good thing), the Elton John balladeering of When I Was Your Man, the watered down reggae of Show Me, and the Motown of If I Knew. The only unorthodox is when Bruno goes disco for Treasure. And in true Bruno Mars tradition, he is not completely horrible even when he goes Full Travolta. You might find Unorthodox Jukebox to be mediocre, I am sure the album would be something to give your mother for Christmas. Moms love mediocre music. Why do think Michael Bublé still has a career.
1. Ashley Greene
10. Kat Dennings
30. Amanda Seyfried
40. Erika Christensen
50. Mircea Monroe
70. Amy Adams
90. Miranda Kerr
, she should go back to making rom-com style videos.
remake.
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on my 
reboot.
, but to be honest, I prefer my superheroes with a side of kitsch so I am not sure if we really need a super serious, super dark Superman series. We definitely do not need a Superman with a Ben Affleck in Argo beard. With that said, superheroes are only as good as his nemesis so the trailer did need more Zod in it so I should hold my judgement until we se more of him. And it definitely needs more Amy Adams as Lois Lane. But I have a feeling this will be another one and done movie from the Superman franchise. I hope I am wrong.
(12/18) starring Danny Trejo. 
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on my