Never Had Much Faith in Love or Miracles

Bruno Mars is perfectly mediocre. You are not going to actually buy his music, but you are also not going to switch the channel when he comes on the radio. It is probably why his music is so popular on karaoke shows, his songs are inoffensive and his voice is mediocre enough that you will not embarrass yourself singing one his songs like the morons who think they can match notes on an Adele song. But some would argue it is better to be horrible than mediocre because you can get more attention being horrible. I believe scientists call this The Rebecca Black Phenomenon which was recently perfected by the Gangnam Style dude. And even though Mars is much better than Psy, I do find myself thinking about Psy more often. Sure it is a fiery cauldron of hate, but like they say, it is better when people talk about you then do not talk about you (i.e. The Kardashian Paradigm).

Then Bruno Mars came out with Locked Out of Heaven much dirtier than anything on his debut with some annoying chopped up yeah’s (but hey, annoying is more memorable than mediocre), and was a changed note away from getting sued by The Police for ripping off Message in a Bottle. Even the album art is a bit offensive with a close up of a woman’s chest with a plunging neckline.

But for the rest of Unorthodox Jukebox, Bruno Mars is back to just nine other hard to hate songs. There is not a bad song on here and most certainly be the soundtrack of many of Middle School dances and Vegas is currently taking bets one weather someone on The Voice or American Idol will be the first to have a contestant sing Young Girls. There really is not unorthodox about these jukebox of songs, it is exactly what you expect from a Bruno Mars album, overwrought lyrics, danceable music for your bar mitzvah, be it awkward grooving or even more awkward arms length slow dancing with the cute chick whose braces are supposed to come off in the next week.

The “jukebox” instead sounds like Mars checking off his influences. The New Wave of Locked Out of Heaven, the eighties soft rock of Moonshine (when Mars sings moonshine, I swear I can hear Don Johnson singing Heartbeat, I do not think that is particularly a good thing), the Elton John balladeering of When I Was Your Man, the watered down reggae of Show Me, and the Motown of If I Knew. The only unorthodox is when Bruno goes disco for Treasure. And in true Bruno Mars tradition, he is not completely horrible even when he goes Full Travolta. You might find Unorthodox Jukebox to be mediocre, I am sure the album would be something to give your mother for Christmas. Moms love mediocre music. Why do think Michael Bublé still has a career.

Song to Download – Locked Out of Heaven

Unorthodox Jukebox gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.