57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/26/12

Once Upon a Time: I was half expecting that the guy under the gold amour to turn out to be motorcycle dude. Instead he just copied (I think) Henry’s book for some unknown reason (I still think he is the author). I also am assuming that August W. Booth is an anagram for something; I am just too lazy, and do not care enough, to figure it out. Either way I just hope they do not drag it out for that much longer.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Poor Jody, married for not even a full episode before getting kicked out. Hopefully he sticks around for the rest of the season to sing more horrible songs.

The Walking Dead: It is never a good sign for a show when one of the mail leads is left in pearl and the audience universally cheers for her potential death even though she is one of the main leads and everyone knows in the back of their minds knows that she will make it somehow. But I am sure there were a lot of watcher disappointed that Lori actually survived flipping her car twice and two zombie attacks. Another bad sign: the most entertaining moment of the entire episode was the unintentional comedy of Maggie brushing aside her father to hug Glen.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pan Am: It is too bad the show took itself too seriously in the beginning because now that they have started incorporated more absurd plotlines like Kate taking down a British intelligence agent, Collette dating a prince, and best of all, Ted’s open marriage (c’mon, who turns down a proposal to be married to the hot chick from the annoying vampire films and have the token hot chick as a marriage).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Very high on my list of potential “A” was the trio of Hermy the Hermaphrodite, the blind chick, and Mona, although if A is targeting Mona, that really puts holes in that theory. Unless Mona as A did it to through the Liars off her scent now that they are closing in. Although now that we know at least two of the Liars’ families have ties to that shut down law firm that was connected to the phone number, I wonder what exactly happened at the place.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Sure there have been three artists so far that I had on my iPod previous to the show, not only do I have Charlotte Sometimes in my music library, I have actually written about here on the 9th Green. And just to show how great talent scout that I am, four years ago I predicted a bigger career for Charlotte over Katy Perry (see Toss Up: Katy Perry vs. Charlotte Sometimes). Oops. But her song How I Could Just Kill a Man (which as it turned out was not a Cypress Hill cover) even came in at #44 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2008; #36 on The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 00’s; and #608 on The 1000 Greatest Songs of the 00’s.

One thing the struck me while watching Nicolle Galyon (who apparently stole Jennifer Morrison’s Thiller jacket from Once Upon a Time) play the piano is that maybe the coaches should be let in on what instrument the contestants are playing because that could be a selling point for the contestant especially for sandwich maker Jamie Lono whose guitar picking was what made his take on Folsom Prison Blues so unique. But then again the show is called The Voice, not The Musician.

One of the breakout moments of this season is just how irate Blake Shelton gets whenever someone presses their button after he does. It may overtake Carson Daly’s awkward high fives with contestants as most entertaining moments on the show. And what was with the blink and you’ll miss it cameo from Kirk Franklin who also landed on my Greatest One Hit Wonders but for the 90’s, which makes me wonder if Anthony Evans was in God’s Property. At any rate, Christina Aguilera again bolstered her old black dude contingent.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, what the heck happened to Ducky?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from the show through the widget at right.




How I Met Your Mother: Whew, we really dodged a bullet there with Ted realizing Robin was in love with Barney, I could not stand another season of that coupling.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Lying Game: They have hinted at it for since the beginning but it was nice to see Sutton go straight up evil this week having both Emma and Ethan think the other had an affair during their time apart.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I knew the rouge CIA guy was not the bad guy, but I did not see the Flashdancer being a KGB sleeper agent who had nothing better to do than bring down the world’s government. Now that is what I call a plot twist. I guess since Caste’s father was in the CIA I have a feeling he will end up tying into Beckett mother’s murder. Who knew Castle even had a dad?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Is it wrong that I was highly entertained by the fight in sign language?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The River: Just when you think Eloise Mumford could not get any more geek chicier when she donned glasses last week, she breaks out an accordion this week. If she wears a Ramona Flowers wig next week, my head might explode. But the endings to these episodes are really getting cheesy. So far they have trapped an evil spirit in blood and dumped it in the river, traded the bones of a mother for another, appeased natives by simply saying they would sacrifice themselves (but not actually doing so), and this week they broke a curse by breaking a phone holding a sacred video. The show really needs to cross the proverbial lines one of these days.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Where last season had a new showdown between the principals even other episode this season has been a much slower burn to the end with Raylan, Boyd, crazy Detroit Guy, and Bubba Gump playing some weird four person chess board that Sheldon Cooper would invent. Hopefully we start getting some checkmates soon and have them not all come in the season finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Just when you think they could not make the Julia / Zoey storyline any more heartbreaking, there is Zoey at the end of the episode holding the son she could not bring to hold after delivery. I am still holding out hope that Julia just goes ahead and adopt Zoey and her kid. And someone should tell Crosby that when Dwayne Motherfracking Wayne tries to give you a million dollars, you take it. Does he not realize how many flip sunglasses that would buy?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Where the frack was Probst during the reward challenge? Are they slowly transitioning into a Probst-less version of the series in the near future? I really hope not. When they first showed the Immunity Challenge I thought it would originally favor the woman because females have better balance than med do, but forgot about other, um, assets women have that men do that would get in the way give the guys the heavy advantage. But again I was wrong after it was brought to my attention that the last Men vs. Women season, this exact challenge was won by the girls’ tribe and won before the guys could get a second member in. So apparently these women may be the most dysfunctional tribe in the history of Survivor. But on the bright side, Kat looks really good doing it.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Yep, Dalia remains the most evil thing on television, her diatribe at the dance was downright spine tingling (although I kind of hope it is a bit of foreshadowing of what is to come). And it might be time to give Kimantha more screen time.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Happy Endings: It is nice to see that I am not the only person that grows a beard in winter time. It is totally practical.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Endings on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Watching Camilla’s drunken ten minute tirade I came to the realization that Survivor really needs to start have more alcohol related reward challenges.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Bongo Solo!!!!!!!
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 2/25/12

Quote of the Week: You want to run your hillbilly heroin fiefdom up here, that’s between you and the great state of Kentucky. I got no interest in (expletive deleted)kicker-on-(expletive deleted)kicker crime. But you will not drag me into this. The next time you set up an operation in this county or any other it better not have my (expletive deleted) family name on the deed or so help me God, I will lose this star and the dance we do subsequent to that will not end with you finding Jesus in a hospital bed. (Raylan, Justified)

Song of the Week: Kiss from a Rose – Seal (Shameless)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: 21 Turns a Year Old: Adele celebrated her one her anniversary of the release of her sophomore album 21 by managing to have its best selling week yet with another 730,000 albums sold thanks to a sizable Grammy bump, the largest Grammy-bump in 21 years (natch). It also became the first album on iTunes to sell over 2 Million albums (it has sold over 7 million overall). Her twenty-first week at number 1 on the Billboard charts also pushed her ahead of The Bodyguard Soundtrack for the most by a female solo artist (she still has 33 more weeks before she can beat the recotrd set by the West Side Story Soundtrack). Her debut album 19 even made its way to number 4. This week also so her become the first female artist to have three songs in the Billboard Singles chart. Those numbers (two top 5 albums, three to 10 songs in the same week) puts her in exclusive company with The Beatles.

Preview Picture of the Week: Today NASCAR Nationwide Series (NNS) team MAKE Motorsports will kick off the 2012 season with a sponsorship from HBO and the hit comedy series EASTBOUND & DOWN. In celebration of the HBO series’ season three debut on Feb. 19, the network will sponsor the #50 Chevrolet driven by T.J. Bell at RIVE4COPD 300 at Daytona International Speedway.





Free Download of the Week: Handclaps & Guitars – Chiddy Bang (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Roses - The Cranberries

New DVD Release of the Week: Justice League: Doom

Video of the Week: Someb people complain about how The Voice recruits contestants with extensive music industry experience and to them I say “shut the frack up and go watch one of those horrible amateur shows instead.” And since some of the contestants have a large internet footprint a simple Google search (or searching the 9th Green, you can find some Charlotte Sometimes mentions) can lead you some entertaining pre-The Voice performances like breakout star Lindsey Pavao singing an acoustic version one hit wonder Flagpole Sitta. But the best pre-fame video goes to the country pianist Nicolle Galyon who recruiting a choir for a stripped down version of Super Bass. No, seriously and it is much more entertaining than her Blind Audition on The Voice and much better than the original (though I have not yet confirm that the girl in the ski cap is in fact Kat Dennings so I will blindly believe it is), take a look or download for free over on Soundcloud:

Super Bass - @nicatnitemusic from Nicolle Galyon on Vimeo.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00 on NBC: The best drama on network television wraps up its third season early so NBC can air Fashion Star (seriously NBC why are you ripping of basic cable ideas?). Apparently there will a wedding even though as the last episode ended with the two participants in relationships with other people. But I just hope this season ends with Julia and Joel deciding to adopt Zoey and her baby together. But if me declaring the show the best drama on network television still cannot get you to tune in, maybe this video of the cast lip-syncing to the classic LFO song Girl on TV, complete with Vince Howard rapping, should do the trick.

Around the Tubes - 2/24/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on American Masters, Duff McKagen, NBC Spring Shedule, Saturday Night Live, Car Warriors, Army Wives, Conan, Doomsday Preppers, and The Voice.

- We are closing out Black History Month next week and with one last celebration, PBS is airing a documentary on Cab Calloway next Monday at 10 (check your local listings) entitled American Masters Cab Calloway: Sketches.

- Just in time for his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Guns n Roses bassist Duff McKagen’s memoir It's So Easy: and other lies will be released for the first time on paperback March 20.

- Just in time for Ides of March, Annie’s Boobs is returning to television. Yep, set your calendars, Community is returning March 15 at 8:00. The return will push 30 Rock to 8:30 (while Parks and Recreations heads to the bench until April 19 with a new time of 9:30). New comedy Bent will get back to back episodes starting March 21 at 9:00 with Rock Center moving back to 10:00 (SUV will take a couple weeks off and return April 11 at its regular timeslot). After the season (let’s face it, series) finales of Whitney and Chelsea, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers will finally get a timeslot April 4 at 8:00 and will be followed by new comedy Best Friends Forever.

- In other NBC scheduling news, Saturday Night Live has announced their next batch of hosts and musical guest. Next Saturday Lindsay Lohan will return (wait, what? This is a little early for and April’s Fool joke) with Jack White in his first television solo performance. Then March 10 will see the tandem of Jonas Hill and The Shins.

- Tonight sees the return of Car Warriors at 7:30 on Speed for a special preview before settling into its regular Wednesday at 9:00 timeslot and below is a preview of what to expect.

Car Warriors: Special Preview February 24th


- You still have one more week until the return of Army Wives, March 4 at 9:00 on Lifetime, until then, here is a preview:

Army Wives Season 6


- Conan has just been renewed by TBS through April 2014 (assuming the word doesn’t end later this year).

- The latest episode of Doomsday Preppers hits the National Geographic Channel Tuesday at 9:00 and here is a sneak peak:

Living off the Land


- Last year’s runner up to The Voice has a new webseries on NBC.com following in her post-show career and the latest episodes features Dia performing Trapeze from her new album Red in front of a bunch of TV producers:

Personal Appearance

Assessing the Fall 2012 Network Pilots

TV Guide recently rounded up a list of 86 network pilots vying to make it onto our television screens next fall and just like I did last year I thought I would give my extremely premature predictions of the best and worst of what we could see on television. Just keep in mind while reading this, last year was topped by the not picked up Wonder Woman. I still mourn that we did not get to see Tyra Collette in that costume every week. Le sigh. You can check out the full list of pilots for NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox and The CW and here are my favorites.


Most Wanted Pilots

Bad Girls (NBC): I was actually just talking with someone why no one has ever done a female Oz and we just might complete with Jess Merriweather as one of the women behind bars and the dude who brought Shameless to the US as executive producer. Let me be the first person to ask why this is not on pay cable? (This of course was part of every discussion every guy had about The Playboy Club so I am not too positive about the show’s potential.)

Last Resort (ABC): It may not be the best sign when I read the plot outline (A renegade crew of a nuclear submarine go on the run after defying an order to fire nuclear missiles. They find sanctuary at a NATO base where they declare themselves the world's smallest nuclear nation) and I originally thought it was going to be a Gilligan's Island type sitcom, but it is apparently a drama from Terriers’ Shawn Ryan and staring Andre Braugher and Autumn Reecer.

Untitled Mandy Moore Project (ABC): Mandy Moore on my television screen every week? Yes please. And written by the co-writer of Wedding Crashers? Double yes please.

County (NBC): I am not the biggest fan of medical dramas, but they had me at “created by Jason Katims”, you know the guy behind Friday Night Lights and Parenthood, two of the best family dramas ever in the history of television. Throw in Michael B. Jordan who appeared on both shows and you have an instantly solid cast, well assuming someone can convince Jason Ritter to shave whatever that is on his face before filming.

Untitled Louie C.K. / Spike Feresten Project (CBS): I could have swore I recently heard an interview with Louie C.K. about he prefers the less money / complete control he has over his FX series, it was a bit surprising to see him have a pilot with the most homogeneous network. Even more surprising, it stars Disney refugee Ashley Tisdale. Really this show is on my list mostly because I cannot what for the Louie episode about the making of this sitcom.


Least Wanted Pilots

Beauty and the Beast (ABC and The CW): Seriously, not one, but two Beauty and the Beast shows are in the works. Surprisingly The CW version is shaping up not to be the worst of the two because they cast the absurdly attractive Kristin Kreuk as the beauty while ABC boast the guy behind the painfully bad Jericho as executive producer.

Revolution (NBC): A show about the world without any energy from the king of high concept / low reward J.J. Abrams. Subtract even more points for being written by the guy behind Supernatural who wrote the single worse season finale ever in the history of television up until The Killing took over the top spot.

The New Normal (NBC): A complete rip off of Mitchell and Cameron on Modern Family but without the funny extended family made worse by being created by the guy behind Glee.

The Frontier (NBC): Remember the boring Invasion, you know the ”mom, you smell different?” show. It is created by the same guy.

The Selection (The CW): Seriously, the show is described as “The Hunger Games meets The Bachelor.” And I am back to believing The CW does not exist.


Before I go, let’s take a look at how the shows I had on my list last year faired:

Most Wanted Pilots
Wonder Woman: The show that made the internet’s head explode did not get picked up.
Once Upon a Time: The highest rated new show of the fall may also be the most disappointed bit still a lock for a second season.
Work It: Canceled after two episodes. Dare I say it didn’t work?
Two Broke Girls: The highest rated new sitcom of the fall and even though all the vagina jokes are getting stale it is a lock for at least five more seasons.
Playboy (renamed The Playboy Club): First casualty of the fall season lasted three episodes.

Least Wanted Pilots
Charlie’s Angels: Managed to air all the episodes filmed but effectively canceled after four episodes.
Touch: Not officially premiered yet but got good numbers in a sneak peak after American Karaoke. Of course even Mobbed can get good numbers after the National Karaoke Contest.
Ringer: The show switched networks and manages to have the worst ratings on a network with laughably bad ratings across the board.
Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea (renamed Are You There Chelsea): Probably the second worse reviewed show of the season is now the worst rated scripted show on NBC that does not currently air on Saturdays.
Home Base, Grace, and Partners were not picked up.

Something Good, A Little Trouble In Your Neighborhood

Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, it is a human nature to fit everything into a nice and easy to explain package. Of course some of the most interesting music comes from musicians that are hard to plug into a specific genre. Take Band of Skulls: sure you can put them in the extremely broad “Alternative” category, but that can mean many different things and is usually not a nice way to call something “not mainstream”. They are almost as hard to compare. The garage rock brings up images of The White Stripes but the trio is much heavier and less riff driven from the duo.

Maybe the way to explain Band of Skulls is a power trio of mellow heavy metal (if that makes any sense). They have that hard rocking trio of sixties bands like Cream mixed with the more melodic heavy metal meets grunge of Alice In Chains. And that power trio of mellow heavy metal sound is back for a second album Sweet Sour - Band of Skulls fills with haunting riffs that will stick with you for days like on the title track, Bruises, and The Devil Takes Care of its Own. Navigate is another standout track where Bassist Emma Richardson takes lead vocals on Navigate, one of the softest songs the band has recorded to date and followed by Hometown that managed to be sweeter that its predecessor.

Song to Download – The Devil Takes Care of His Own

Sweet Sour gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.



Another hard to categorize band is Sleigh Bells. They have hip hop beats, a lone heavy metal guitar and a bubblegum pop voiced singer (though Alexis Krauss looks like the offspring of Joan Jett and came out the womb with a leather jacket on) and the band rarely deviates from that formula. Yeah the Sleigh Bells are a one trick pony, but that one trick is really entertaining and expect a lot of it on their sophomore album Reign of Terror. The opener True Shred Guitar is a love version which will have you looking up when the band will be coming to your town. Crush is clap along fun. But the closest anything on the album comes to the great songs off their debut is Comeback Kid which is quintessential Sleigh Bells.

Song to Download – Comeback Kid

Reign of Terror gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

There's No Need to Fear Underdog Is Here

Even though it ran for three short seasons during the sixties, Underdog was a mainstay of children’s television watching for decades. And now people who grew up with the cartoon can watch the series with their next generation without having to grimace through the live action film with the release of Underdog: The Complete Collector’s Edition. For the uninitiated, Underdog was a canine take on Superman with Underdog taking all the super powers of Superman but the clumsiness of Clark Kent. Oh yeah, and he speaks solely in prose.

The show is rounded out by Sweet Polly Purebred, the Lois Lane of the show, a reporter who finds herself captured by bad guys at a disturbingly high frequency. And what superhero would be without a rouge’s gallery and Underdog’s two main archenemies included Simon Bar Sinister, a mad scientist who would have a new diabolical machine he would create in hopes to rule the world with. Underdog would also have to butt heads with Rift Raft who more of an old time gangster who was content with doing evil the old fashion way, with a gun, and gang of thugs, and a cigar (I do not seeing Rift Raft making his way into a modern cartoon).



The episodes on Underdog: The Complete Collector’s Edition are based on the original NBC airing and featuring two Underdog segments along with a segment of Go Go Gophers and a Commander McBragg short for the first two seasons of Underdog while the third season features segments of Klondike Kat and either Tooter Turtle or The Hunter (for those that grew up with the syndicated version of Underdog and wonder where Tennessee Tuxedo And His Tales is, that show is getting its own release next month). The 62 episodes are spread across nine DVD’s with each all three seasons getting its own case. The full breakdown is the first season has 26 episodes on four DVD’s. The second season has 22 episodes on three DVD’s. While the third and final season just had 14 episodes on two DVD’s.

The Collector’s Edition comes with a twenty page booklet that tells the history of Underdog, for those not a big fan of reading, there is a featurette that goes over the same territory with people who helped create the show. Another extra feature included is an interview with Underdog co-creator Joe Harris who explains and narrates a never-before-seen storyboard he created for children he knew. There are also commentaries for ten segments featuring animation historian Mark Arnold talking about the show with co-creator Buck Biggers and Little House on the Prairie’s (and daughter of the voice of Sweet Polly Purebred) Alison Arngrim, while The Jay Leno Show announcer Wally Wingert chats with narrator of Underdog George S. Irving on a couple commentaries. The set also features alternative openings and closings.



Full Disclosure Notice: These DVD’s were given to me by Shout Factory for the purpose of review.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/19/12

Once Upon a Time: When Mr. Gold started beating the owner of Game of Thorns (great name) for contributing to the death of his daughter I thought there was no way they actually killed off Belle. When the Evil Queen talked about how she threw herself out of a tower I thought there was no way they killed of Belle. During Gold and Regina’s discussion in the jail I thought to myself, there is no way they killed off Belle. And just when I thought, well maybe they actually did kill off Belle, Regina started entering a code at the hospital (who puts a secret room behind an emergency exit?) and goes down the mental ward (I assume) wear we see that Belle is in fact alive and well in the real world. It only took half the season, but this was the first great plot twist on the show. Hopefully Regina has more characters down there. And the show really needs to forget about focusing on the battle between Emma and Regina and spend more time on the battle between Regina and Gold.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Greatest wedding toast ever. From now on, you cannot consider it a good wedding toast unless someone pulls a gun on you.

The Walking Dead: After the mid-season finale I was ready to come back with a vengeful Hershel killing off everybody, Shane, Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Carol; he could have mercy on Glen and Daryl if he wishes, but I would like to see most of the main cast brutally murdered. Unfortunately that did not happen (of course there is no way Lori could possibly survive that car crash and if so would be eaten before someone finds her; but I but she manages to avoid death) but at least they finally introduced some interesting characters in the form of Britt from Terriers. Oh wait, they killed him before the end of the episode. I really hate this show.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: Seeing Veronica Mars in her pedestrian clothes again, it is just a reminder how she is wastes wearing pant suits all the time. I may have to start up a Free Ronnie campaign.

How I Met Your Mother: When Robin told Ted that Kumar dumped her I thought, “oh crap, they better not get these two back together” and minutes later Ted tells Robin he loved her. Uggg. If we have to sit through another season of Ted and Robin coupled I may finally have to give up on the show.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: What a bunch of tomato cans all of the constants were this week. I’d be shocked if any of them make it out of the Battle Round. Hopefully the show did not just front load all the great talent for after the Super Bowl because think we still have two more weeks of Blind Auditions.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

2 Broke Girls: Apparently the writers have heard the critique of how often the resort to vagina jokes on the show and actually outted the word as Max’s favorite.

The Lying Game: I realize the problem with the show: not enough red herrings, and by not enough I mean none. Who killed the drug dealer was pretty easy to figure out because it had to be the DA (or someone he hired to do it) because there were no other possibilities but him. Same with the twins parents: it has to be Rebecca and Ted because there is no one else. The show really needs to build a mystery better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I do not know what Alexis would not tell her dad of her new internship, he was going to find out the first time they get called in. And as someone who has had to do trunk duty when we could not find enough designated drivers back in college, I doubt the lack of oxygen theory that Beckett had. But there has to be a reason why the trained assassin let them live, I am guessing he turns out to have gone rouge for the greater good.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The River: The cameraman realizing he had to go underground to retrieve the antidote was the greatest use of censorship since The Osbornes went off the air. But then ending of the tribesmen backing off because someone sacrificed themselves was just absurd. I wonder how long it takes the crew to realize they should listen to the Spanish chick jungle legends before running off on an adventure willy nilly?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: If someone takes out my kidneys, said I need to get twenty grand in four hours or I die and hands be a gun to get the job done, I do not care if I am a wanted fugitive, I am shooting the dude and taking my kidneys to the nearest hospital to be put back in. But God bless Dewey Crowe, not only does he not realize that none of the symptoms the nurse detailed were happening, he is the only person that does not realize that all store clerks keep shotguns under the counter. But it was weird watching the episode considering that it had the same theme as one of the plots of Raylan (see my review: It's a Shame He Wasn't a Wanted Felon so I Could Shoot Him He Resisted) but still changed a bunch of details.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Seriously, someone needs to tell Bob Little, nailing the intern is the number one Cardinal Rule of politics and with, as Michael Bluth would say, “Her?”. But poor Amber, this is the first time she gets some action on the show since the premiere and it gets interrupted by her aunt.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Tessa trying to sing has to be the funniest thing of the week. I have re-watched that way too many times.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: There is nothing I hate more in television than episodes that open with a “x amount of time earlier” and Revenge is the first show that I can remember doing it in the first episode with a resolution not coming until later in the series. And now that we have finally seen the series come full circle, I may be more let down that I expected. From the first episode I expected Daniel not to be the dead body and from the moment he stepped on screen I knew the rent boy would be the one that ended up dead even though he looked nothing like Daniel and no one would confuse the two. But it managed to be even more disappointing because the premiere’s first scene just did not seem to sync up well with the most recent episode. Making things worse, the plot they teased in the premiere, Jack killing Daniel, is a much more interesting plot twist than what presumably happened: Amanda killing rent boy and framing Daniel. Or Jack. Actually I am not really sure what was going on. Why did Amanda smear blood on Jack and then drive off to the beach? Did she try to set up two people to make sure no one comes after her? After a really good first ten episodes, the show really fumbled this moment. Hopefully it can get back on track by the finale.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It is a shame that Leonard did not have as the tie breaker a foot race, because that would have been more entertaining than throwing the ball the highest, although maybe it would have been too much like Sue Heck trying out for Cross Country.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 2/18/12

Quote of the Week: “Say hello to your Aunt Mommy.” No, not adorable: Appalachian. (Mitchell, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: A Horse with No Name – America (as sung by Alt-Man, Suburgatory)

Preview Picture of the Week:



Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: The New GOP Front Runner Is… Rick Santorum?: A couple weeks ago I heard someone compare the then inevitable Republican nominee Mitt Romney to former Democratic nominee for president John Kerry: a Massachusetts political so uninspiring that he could not even beat an incumbent who in no way deserved a second term. But what would that make Rick Santorum, a guy who would lose in a landslide to an incumbent that in no way deserves to be elected? Leave it to the Republican, who looked like they could nominate a ham sandwich a year ago and win, to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Free Download of the Week: Lead Me Love - Shelby Lynne (Rolling Stone)

Deal of the Week: Save up to 60% on Select HBO Favorites (Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Eastbound and Down)

New Album Release of the Week: Reign of Terror - Sleigh Bells

New DVD Release of the Week: Weeds: Season Seven

Video of the Week: You could not pay me to the last G.I. Joe. It looked like just another example of Hollywood trying to ruin my childhood with another crappy live action movie of toys I used to play with. And from what I heard I was glad to skip it. So I naturally groaned when they announced a sequel. But then the cast The Rock. And Tyra Collette. And Titus Pullo. And Boyd Crowder. And The Rza. And it was written by the guys who wrote Zombieland. So consider me intrigued. Well that was until I learned it was being directed by the dude who did the Justin Bieber movie. Wait, what?



Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor: One World, Wednesday at 8:00 on CBS: I was tentative going into the new season of Survivor after two seasons of the painfully bad Redemption Island to the point I was ready to switch over to watching ABC comedies live on Wednesday and saving Survivor for later in the week. But after one week I am back in, the One World idea is great and segregating the genders is even better. I wonder if next season Survivor will have the cojones to do One World with Blacks, Whites, Asians, and Hispanics.

Around the Tubes - 2/17/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Awake, Life's Too Short, Game of Thrones, House of Lies, Memphis, American Weed, Key and Peele, Swamp People, Full Metal Jousting, RuPaul's Drag Race, Life in the Wild, The Franchise, For Better or Worse, Intel, and Hardcore Pawn.

- My sources tell me that Awake was the best Pilot of the 2011-12 season, but who cares what they think. Judge for yourself by watching the full premiere below:

Special Full Episode Preview


- This Sunday HBO is launching its latest new show Life’s Too Short from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant at 10:30 (following the third season premiere of Eastbound and Down). Check out the first season trailer below:



- In other HBO new, they recently released its first poster for the second season of Game of Thrones, take a gander below:



- For those that need to catch up on House of Lies or just need more Kristen Bell in your life are in luck. Next Sunday Showtime will be airing all seven episodes starting at 8:00 this Sunday.

- For Broadway fans that cannot make it to New York City very often will want to mark the calendars for next Friday when PBS will be airing Tony Award winning musical Memphis at 9:00 (check your local listings). This will mark the first time that a Best Musical winner has aired on U.S. national television with its original principals while, at the same time, continuing its Broadway run and national tour.

- New series alert! Premiering naturally on Ash Wednesday at 10:00 on National Geographic Channel is American Weed will be looking at all sides of the issue — from the growers, patients and dispensary owners, to the cops, caregivers and opponents of the newly legal medical marijuana in Colorado.

- Ty Burrell recently did a little moonlighting on Comedy Central’s new sketch comedy show Key and Peele naturally playing a Nazi. I am not sure Phil Dunphy would approve:



- Miss recent episodes of History’s Swamp People and / or Full Metal Jousting. Just click those links to be taken to the full episodes. You can always turn into Swamp People Thursdays at 9:00 and Full Metal Jousting Sundays at 10:00.

- Socialite Life recently sat down with Willam from the most recent season of RuPaul’s Drag Race who talks about how he got into drag (watching the soccer classic Ladybugs naturally).

- Not only is Love in the Wild returning this summer to NBC, it just picked up a new host. Jenny McCartney will be back at bringing couple together for the first time since her Singled Out days. Jenny will be heading out to the Dominican Republic later this month to start filming.

- Showtime recently announced which team it will follow for the next season of The Franchise: the Miami Marlins. Wait, when did they change from Florida? And Miami Marlins sounds like a comic book character.

- Tyler Perry fans should be happy to learn his top rated TBS sitcom For Better or Worse has been renewed for another thirty-five episodes.

- Intel has a new line of ads called Pop Up Theater where a bunch of laptop carrying people pop up flash mob style for a performance. Check out one below:

Ultrabook™ POP-UP THEATER ORCHESTRA


- TruTV not only renewed Hardcore Pawn for another season, they are expanding it into an new series Hardcore Pawn: Fort Bragg. Also look out for more Lizard Lick Towing coming to the cable channel.

First Impressions: Survivor: One World

Just when you thought the idea of Redemption Island was the dumbest idea Survivor ever had, watching the subsequent seasons only proved that it was actually worse than you could have imagined. So last night when Jeff Probst said “Redemption Island…) I screamed at the television, “Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!” thankfully after a too long of a dramatic pause he finished his sentence “will not be in play this season”. Whew. But there is a new twist to the game: One World where both tribes live on one beach. A very interesting twist made even more interesting in that the two tribes set up separate camps very far apart and do not seem keen on sharing anything.

The other big twist is for only the third time in twenty-four season that they are dividing up the tribes and just like the previous two seasons, the guys have started out cocky and the women started out chirping at each other. Interesting enough, in the Amazon, the guys went into the merge with a majority but it was Jenna Morasca who was crowned Sole Survivor while in Vanuatu Chris Daugherty took the title when the women had the numbers. But this season for the first time the men actually won the first immunity challenge but much like Barry Bonds, put an asterisk next to the win because they only won because a woman got hurt (seriously, when Probst tells you to hold your hands to your chest, hold your hands to your chest). Even worse, Probst gave them the option to take the win or continue the challenge and even though they had a two person lead at the time, they still cowardly took the win. I cannot believe the Survivor Gods are going to be too happy by that decision.

Luckily the women were save from having to vote someone out because the woman that got hurt ended up breaking her wrist and was medically removed from the game (if I am not mistaken this was only the second time a challenge was ended due to injury and the player was removed from the game). But the bad news was they still went to Tribal Council giving Probst time to what he does best: stir the pot. And the ingredients inside the pot this time were Christina Cha and Alicia Rosa who pulled out the claws early with a hooded Kat Edorsson hilariously in the middle acting as Mills Lane.

One episode, and I am back in. I love the possibilities that two tribes / one beach provides especially when they are segregating themselves: secret alliances, sabotage, theft. Hopefully these all come to fruition and just may thanks to gay homosexual Colton Cumbie who left no question to his sexuality with his jumping form who may just utilities all three. The other early standout is the very first little person on Survivor (or as Herc from Ain’t it Cool New Say, unless you count the Hantz family) who even got his head petted by Alicia, and if there is one thing I have learned from the little people I know (all two of them), never, under any circumstance, pet them on the head. Yeah Alicia is not making many friends. Oh yeah, and the guy’s tribe includes two guys named Tarzan and Troyzan. Fun times.

Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Take a Shower in a Month: Kat Edorsson

Winner: Kim Spradlin

Back Up Choice: Jonas Otsuji

Survivor: Redemption Island airs Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream episodes on CBS.com. You can also download Survivor on iTunes.

Lyrics Quiz: Primative Radio Gods

I rib iTunes Genius feature because it comes up with less genius playlist and more just a group of songs within the same genre. But after plugging in Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand, which landed at number one on my list of the 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s, the first four songs that Genuis came up with were all songs from that list. Seven one hit wonders total from the decade in all showed up in the top twenty-five (and two other from the eighties). Sure I would have been more impressed if How Blue Can You Get? by B.B. King, the songs that is sampled, was on the list. But anyway. So I took those top twenty-five songs and made them into this month’s lyrics quiz. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. I wanna hold the hand inside you. I wanna take a breath that’s true. I look to you and I see nothing. I look to you to see the truth.
2. What if I were Romeo in black jeans?
3. And you just don’t get it, keep it copasetic, and you learn to accept it, and no, you’re so pathetic.
4. I don’t mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows. I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes.
5. Nothing so loud than hearing when we lie. Truth is not kind but you say neither am I. (All I Want - Toad the Wet Sproket; guessed by Rebekah)
6. She spent her twenties between the sheets. Life limped along at sub-sonic speeds.
7. I’m not expecting to grow flowers in the desert but I can look and breathe and see the sun in winter time.
8. Seems like everybody’s got a plan. It’s kinda like Nashville, with a tan. (Lullaby - Shawn Mullin; guessed by Rebekah)
9. When I want something and I don’t wanna pay for it: I just walk right through the door.
10. I’m turning to the horoscope and looking for the funnies when I’m feeling someone watching and so I turn my head. (Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega; guessed by Rebekah)
11. Pulling out jives and jamboree hand outs, two turn tables and a microphone.
12. We don’t even care to shake these zipper blues. We don’t know just where these bones will rest. To dust I guess.
13. Well I’ve never prayed but tonight I’m on my knees, yeah. I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me yeah.
14. It’s not a habit, it’s cool, I feel alive, if you don’t have it you’re on the other side.
15. You cook so well, all nice and French, you do yo. Brain surgery too mama with your monkey wrench.
16. Hold this string as I walk away. Watch me unravel; I’ll soon be naked, lying on the floor. (Undone (The Sweater Song) - Weezer; guessed by Rebekah)
17. Philosophy, it’s the talk on a cereal box. Religion is a smile on a dog. (What I Am - Edie Brickell; guessed by Rebekah)
18. If I seem to be confused I didn’t mean to be with you. And when you said I scared you well I guess you scared me too. (Joey - Concrete Blonde; guessed by Rebekah)
19. And I will be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard. I’ll take your breath away. And after I will wipe your tears away. Just close your eyes dear. (Possession - Sarah McLachlan; guessed by Rebekah)
20. I want a girl who gets up early. I want a girl who stays up late. I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity who uses a machete to cut through red tape.
21. Well you know just what you do to me. The way you move soft and slippery. Cut the night just like a razor. Rarely talk and that’s the danger.
22. It is the way we move your hand and it’s the way you understand. That’s the reason that I’m asking. That’s the reason I want to know.
23. I rushed the ladies’ room, took the water from the toilet, washed her feet and blessed her name.
24. That’s great it starts with earthquake, bird and snakes and aeroplanes. Lenny Bruce is not afraid. (It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M.; guessed by Rebekah)
25. World was on fire, no one could save me but you. Strange word desire, make people do. (Wicked Game - Chris Isaak; guessed by Rebekah)

I Want My Music Television - 2/14/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift featuring The Civil Wars

Taylor Swift - Safe & Sound - Music - More Music Videos

I am not sure what this whole Hunger Games thing is or what the video has to do with it, but Taylor Swift should seriously consider hiring The Civil Wars as her permanent backing band.


(Expletive Deleted) in Paris - The Throne



Note to self: next time a video comes with an epilepsy warning, do not watch it. I am going to be seeing a kaleidoscope version of The Throne every time I close my eyes for the next couple days.


Get Burned – Sleeper Agent



Also stuck in my brain: giant molesting bunnies. Thanks Sleeper Agent.


We Take Care of Our Own - Bruce Springsteen



It is weird that the older Bruce Springsteen gets, the more he morphs into looking like the love child of Joe Strummer and Johnny Cash.

We on Award Tour: 2012 Grammy Awards

It seems like the Grammys always get a major chunk of their awards wrong, but in 2011 there was no denying Adele and even with the Grammys track record, it is still no surprised that she hauled in the most awards this year. Here are some other thoughts on the night:

- I am a little shocked that Bruce Springsteen went with the new song that most people won’t even remember by next year instead of a song that highlighted a Clarence Clemmons sax solo.

- Can’t say I was ever a Whitney Houston fan (a grand total of two songs made it on my iPod), but it is also sad to see someone go that quickly and unexpectedly. But once again it shows, just like Whitney said it was: crack is wack. Another example as to never start using the stuff and if you do, it is time to get yourself help.

- Why even bring in LL Cool J as host if his entire monologue consists of a prayer and then shouting out people in the front row?

- It is never a good sign when they mentioned Bruno Mars is up for Album of the Year and I completely forgot he was. Granted the category was always Adele and the four other people since they announced the nominees.

- I can’t believe they actually brought Chris Brown back to the Grammys considering the last time the two were in the same sentence he had to cancel an appearance after brutally beating Rihanna. What’s worse (aside from not even bother to sing) was that he totally ripped off Rihanna’s We Found Love for the song he lip-synced.

- It is nice to see after sporting bad mom hair for the last couple months, Kelly Clarkson decided to actually do something with her hair tonight. Unfortunately she passed on her bad hair to Taylor Swift.

- Couldn’t they just give an entire half an hour block to The Beach Boys? That just did not seem long enough.

- Paul McCartney, Diana Krall and… Joe Walsh?

- It was enough that they were snubbed for Best New Artist, which they should have won, but only sixty seconds for The Civil Wars?

- It is ironic that Taylor Swift performed Mean on the Grammys considering the song was inspired by the critics who had some mean things to say following her performance with Stevie Nicks on the show a couple years ago.

- Katy Perry fooled me; I thought she pulled an Ashlee Simpson, although maybe she should have lip synced because it was pretty poor performance.

- After a year of hearing everyone butchering the song, it is weird hearing a great performance of Rolling in the Deep.

- Bon Iver, your Best New Artist of 2009.

- Roy Orbison’s widow gets mentions in the In Memoriam package but not Jani Lane?

- You really have to be high to enjoy electronic music.

- Can we please end the Nicki Minaj era please? Seriously, did she really work Oh Come All Ye Faithful into her abomination of a performance?