Assessing the Fall 2011 Network Pilots

TV Guide recently ran down the pilots, eighty-two in all, which the networks are considering considering for their fall schedule. It is premature to predict what is going to be good or not since we are still two months away from any of these shows from being picked up and six months before any of them premiere. But they did not called me Premature Scooter in college for no reason so I am going to do some predicting anyway. Here are five shows I would like to make it on their respective schedules.

Wonder Woman (NBC) – Sure the scripted has been ripped to shreds online and David E Kelly doesn’t seem like a good fit guiding the show, I would certainly tune in to see Trya Collette don the red, white, and blue spandex every week.

Once Upon a Time (ABC) – Considering this is being described as “A woman travels to a town where fairy tales are real” we may have to wait until this weekend to see how well Red Riding Hood does at the box office to gauge the chances this show has to getting picked up. Though I would be more confident if a show like this came from someone like Bryan Fuller, it was instead created by two writers from Lost who seemed to do a lot of Hurley-centric episode. And it stars Ginnifer Goodwin (Diane Snyder returns to free TV!) as Snow White. NBC will also have their own fairy tale themed show Grimm from Buffy / Angel writers.

Work It (ABC) – I have waited almost three decades for a Bosom Buddies reboot and this may be as close as it gets with two unemployed car salesmen dress in drag to get jobs a pharmaceutical representative. We will also get the bonus enjoyment figuring out which of the two will go on to be Tom Hanks and the other Peter Scolari.

Two Broke Girls (CBS) – Kat Dennings, who is great with passive aggressive dialogue, staring as a waitress co-written by Whitney Cummings, a standout of recent Comedy Central Roasts. Cumming also has her own starring vehicle for NBC from the creator of My Boys.

Playboy (NBC) – Let be the last red blooded American boy on the internet to get excited to hear they are doing a Playboy Club themed show (donning the bunny suits will be the absurdly hot Amber Hear and moderately attractive Naturi Naughton and Jenna Dewan) only to be let down to hear it will be on NBC, not HBO.


And as the great philosopher Butt-Head once told his understudy Beavis, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” And this year looks like there is a bunch of crap that hopefully never makes it to your televisions.

Charlie’s Angels (ABC) – Whenever something is successful is on television it spreads like wildflower (seriously, just count the number of three different couples themed shows that have popped up since Modern Family), and that is understandable. But why do networks continue to reboot show considering every single one in the past decade has failed miserably? And as much as I would like to see Lyla Garrity kick bad guy butt in skimpy clothing every week, I just cannot see this being any good and “from the producers of Smallville” doesn’t help.

Home Base (CBS) – Speaking of failed ideas, was NFL player who goes home already failed recently? Executive producer Marky Mark is also a serious red flag.

Touched (Fox) – Seriously, how does Heroes creator Tim Kring keep finding work? Only Lane Kiffin has fallen upwards faster.

Ringer (CBS) – I hate to break it to Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans, Sarah Michelle Gellar cannot act. She is only passable when Joss Whedon is putting words in her mouth, and since he won’t and Supernatural writers will, this will be unwatchable.

Grace (ABC) – Nothing could get me to run further from a show than “from Dancing with the Stars judge” but here’s the catch, this show isn’t some crappy dance themed reality show, it’s a drama. Staring Eric Roberts. Of course it is set in the world of professional dance.

Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea (NBC) – Sure Laura Prepon was surprisingly good as Nikki Heat, but portraying Chelsea Hander (who inexplicably will play he older sister) screams unwatchable.

Partners (ABC) – No description made me laugh harder than, “Two female police detectives are fiercely loyal to one another... because they're also secretly sisters.” Actually, I may have to move this to the please get picked up pile because this may be so bad it’s good.