57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLIV

Chuck: Watching this week just reminded me how horrible the new Nightmare on Elm Street was (sorry Tami Taylor). Seriously, Robert England couldn’t reprise his role? Of course even the original Freddy wouldn’t have saved the movie, but it would have been a step up. But back to Chuck; was this the first Halloween episode where none of the character actually dressed up? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

The Event: So we learn that where Sophia is from there is little to no water and she seemed quite puzzled at the dog. That hampers (but does not complexly hurt) my future theory. But it may gain more credence to a Martian theory. And what the frack was the blue light at the end? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Castle: If I am not mistaken, this was the first perp in three seasons to actually get away. And no Castle has a case to haunt him just like Beckett’s mom does her. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

No Ordinary Family: Holy Deputy Leo sighting! And finally a run-in with someone else with powers. It has been a month since Jim had come face to face with one. Hopefully they realize this should be a weekly occurrence. That and more Deputy Leo. On a side note, how unrealistic was those football scenes? I am not expecting Friday Night Lights quality scenes, but everyone was jogging down the field, you got to at least run. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download No Ordinary Family on iTunes.

Parenthood: Vince Howard isn’t really going to hook up with Pattie Pryor is he? But since Parenthood like pouching Friday Night Lights actors, can they just go ahead and have the Taylors move to California? Maybe Drew needs a football coach because does not seem to have anything else going on. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: They are not really going to have Jax unknowingly put the movies on his half sister Trinity (who I keep on wanting to call Trixie) are they? Doesn’t she know that information? Or did her mom never tell her about her dad? At least we finally got an explanation as to why no one bothered to return Able. Albeit a convoluted one. But will Jax and his buddies play proxy to the priest? This should be interest. What is not interesting: what’s going on in Charming. I wish they had just staying in Belfast all episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Nicaragua: Was this a repeat from last week, or yet again did Marty make a stupid move with his Immunity Idol and his tribe once again did not vote him out for it? Have these people never seen Survivor: you never give your Idol to someone unless to save someone in your alliance (and sometimes not even then) because if you do, you will be promptly be voted out. And we learned why we have yet to have heard from Purple Kelly before this week, she apparently cannot string sentences together. How did she make it through the casting process? You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Being a college grad, I have seen my fair share of “slutty” Halloween costumes inclusing Slutty Elmo, but Hayley’s Slutty Mother Teresa is a first. And if it nice to see the family back together for the first time this season. Hopefully we do not have to wait for the gay Thanksgiving for their next get-together. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Challenge: Cutthroat: The slap challenge had to have been the weirdest competition on any reality show ever, or at least since Double Dare. You can stream recent episodes on MTV.com. You can also download The Challenge: Cutthroat on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: How is it the nerds on the show all have hot sisters? And how can Raj be that mad considering he was an experimental drug away from hooking up with Sheldon’s sister?

Community: As I earlier declared this the decade of zombies I had high hopes for this episode, but is clear that zombies are too slow moving for a quality twenty minute parody. And really, how can anyone do a better zombie parody than Shawn of the Dead? You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Outsourced: There is nothing more awkward plot on television (and not even a good awkward) than the Asha / Todd / Tanya love triangle which I am not even sure it is technically a triangle since Todd doesn’t have any interest in Tanya. They really need to move away from that plot and have more Charlie with a chain saw. And if anyone was wondering, the version of Hall and Oates She's Gone featured on the show was by The Bird and the Bee. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.

Best of the Week vol. L

Quote of the Week: Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen? (Claire, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: Waterloo – ABBA (Community)

Big News of the Week: Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote the Rent Is Too Damn High Party: Usually the mid-term elections are a boring affair, but with most of the country still in the tank, the wackos have come out big time this year which has brought us witches, Aqua Buddha, and words too offensive for women to print here thanks to Californians. The democrats are in such disarray, a one of their candidates told Barack Obama to “shove it” while another was asked by Bill Clinton to drop out to give an Independents candidate to win. And let’s not even start with the Tea Party. Our democracy may be going down faster than the Titanic, but at least we have plenty to laugh at as we go down in flames.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Walk With Me – Neil Young (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Pinkerton [Deluxe Edition]

New DVD Release of the Week: The Pacific (HBO Miniseries) [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Since this year Halloween falls on a weekend, here are the Geto Boys.



Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday (10/31) at 10:00 on AMC: After a lackluster fall in terms of new programming, the saved what looks to be the best for last in The Walking Dead. Forget all those lame vampire shows/movies/books, the Teens (as in 2010-19) will be the decade of the zombies. Mark my words.

Around the Tubes vol. LXXII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Ghost Hunters, The Truth Behind Zombies, Scare Tactics, Conan, DVD2Blu, Dexter, Wines that Rock, Aziz Ansari, Punkin Chunkin, Huey Lewis, and Chuck.

- Ghost Hunters go live on Syfy Halloween from 7 PM to 1 AM. The gang is going to hit up Buffalo Central Terminal in Buffalo, New York, check out a promo below:

Ghost Hunters Halloween Live


- For some pre-Halloween fun, the National Geographic Channel is looking for The Truth Behind Zombies Saturday at 10:00. The special explores the origin of zombies, their religious roots and whether mutated virus strains could cause devastation of zombie proportions.

- If you don’t get enough spook this Halloween, then be sure to tune into Scare Tactics Monday for a brand new episode at 9:00 on Syfy. Here is a preview:

Life’s a Witch


- For those counting down the day until Conan O’Brien returns to the small screen, you can grab a sneak peak at a run through which Conan is dubbing “episode zero.” You can watch this coming Monday at 11:00 EST (8:00 PST) live at on TeamCoco.com, YouTube.com, and Facebook.com. Of course Conan hits TBS the following Monday for the proper premiere.

- I have mentioned DVD2Blu before, the program where you can trade in a DVD for the Blu-Ray counterpoint, well now you can trade in ANY DVD for any of the over 100 Blu-Ray’s in the library starting at $4.95 (television shows start at $14.95) plus shipping and handling.



- Showtime has recently launched the second season of Dexter Early Cuts, head over to sho.com/earlycuts to check out the six new chapters.

- Are you a fan of classic rock and wine? Well I have a contest for you. Wines that Rock is releasing their latest wine, The Police’s Synchronicity Red Blend and to celebrate the release you can win a prize pack that includes two round trip tickets to California Wine Country, two nights stay at the vineyard's private bungalow, a tour of the vineyard with Wines That Rock Winemaker, Mark Beaman, a case of rock and roll classic t-shirts and one autographed bass from Sting. Head over to WineEnthusiast.com/WinesThatRock to enter.

- Check out Kelefa Sanneh’s in depth profile of Aziz Ansari in the latest New Yorker or a snippet on their website.

- For those of you in the Bridgeville, Delaware area, the city will be hosting Punkin Chunkin 2010 November 5-7. If you cannot make it, the Discovery Channel will be airing the event Thanksgiving Day.

- And just because, Huey Lewis and the News Roots performing The Hearty of Rock and Roll:

All Those Other Girls, Well They’re Beautiful, But Would They Write a Song for You?

Taylor Swift recently promoted her latest album Taylor Swift (as in or forever hold your peace) on new channel The Hub. Despite there being much more prominent youth leaning channels around, The Hub is appropriate in that it is co-own by gaming king Hasbro because Speak Now includes the biggest game sweeping the nation: What boys are her songs about? Despite promising in her Target advertisement that she would be naming names, only one name appears on the album: John which most everybody has assumed is John Mayer (but I am holding out hope that it is in fact about Judd Hirsch, star of eighties sitcom Dear John).

So all the other songs on Speak Now, we are left to our own devises to figure out who the other songs about. Innocent is a gimmie considering Swift introed the song at the most recent Video Music Awards with last year’s debacle concerning Kanye West. And the lyric about a thirty-two year old (coincidentally the same age as John Mayer) who is still growing up pretty much confirms as much. Also highly likely is Taylor Launder is the subject of Back to December which mentions the first time the subject of song saw her cry was in September, the month of the Kanye incident in which Lautner was on stage for as the presenter. And is the “chain hanging on your door” a leash reference?

The other songs you will have to make your own conjectures, the most interesting of which is Better in Revenge where Swift turns her visceral hate toward the other woman. The girl in question is “not a saint and she’s not what you think, she’s an actress. She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress.” Oh snap. So who has dated a Taylor ex, is an actress, wears vintage dresses, and has an easily rhymable name. Could it be Joe Jonas rebound girl Camille Belle? Of course John Mayer’s expanding harem is too long to hypothesize.

Wondering which song is about who is the biggest problem with Speak Now. Her previous albums were fun because we didn’t have to decipher whose pictures she was burn or who should have said no because they were just random dudes from Pennsylvania. During her cup of coffee with John Mayer, he should have warned her that no one wants to her a concept album about dating and breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, which is also why Counting Crows became not as entertaining a decade earlier. No one wants to hear people sing about famous people

Speak Now is the first album Swift wrote on her own and it shows, but not in a good way. It is clear she still need help with some phrasing and melody. Or just someone to say the title track was not a good idea to write about breaking up a wedding as many lines in the song are just cringeworthy. Never Grow Up is highly skipable or just might as well had been called Fourteen.

With that said, Speak Now is still a solid pop album (her transition away from country is complete here, and the label has only stuck for marketing reasons). The first single Mine is a fun and natural progression of someone who once sung fairytales like Love Story and is ready to grow up. The banjo infused Mean, the closest she gets to country, is a more entertaining attack song than Better Than Revenge where she unloads on the talking heads who rip on her inability to sing live. And Taylor truly grows for Haunted which sonically more stunning than anything she has done before and dabbles in hard rock and may be the greatest song Avril Lavigne has never recorded.

But Taylor, before your next album, you may want to try and find Drew for some inspiration because no one is going to want to hear songs about Jake Gyllenhaal.

Song to Download – Haunted

Speak Now gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television vol. XCIV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Runaway - Kanye West and Pusha T



It should have been Taylor Swift’s week with the release of her highly anticipated junior album, but Kanye West just had to steal her thunder once again by releasing his thirty-five minute film just days before. Runaway is kind of boring and would have worked much better as individual music videos with a common theme. Like the song Runaway is much more digestible as a nine minute video (well the five minute version is more digestible as it cut off the fuzzed out ending).


Dear John - Jessie James



Speaking of Swift, on her new album she has a song titled Dear John that may or may not be about John Mayer (okay, it probably is). The only problem that Jessie James also recently released a song titled Dear John that may or may not be about John Mayer (okay, it totally is considering seventy-five of the lyrics are composed of titles of Mayer songs). Which begs the question, do we really need two songs written about Jon Mayer released in the span of a month?


1983 - Neon Trees



You really cannot go wrong starting a video with a Big reference (even if the movie came out in 1988 and the lead character wanted to be, well, big). Then throw in a lead singer with a Thriller jacket and imitating Billy Idol (at least I think that is what he was going for). Thank you Neon Trees. But what was with the random Corey Feldman sighting?


L.A. Girl - Yeti Beats featuring Fatlip



Even more eighties references, this time from Fatlip (you may better know his group The Pharcyde) reuniting him with Spike Jones who directed the groups seminal Drop video.

Don't Call it a Comeback vol. I: Boyz II Men

It seems like one a week I am listening to my iTunes library and I hear a song that makes me go, this artist really needs a comeback. So I thought I would start a new feature here on the 9th Green highlighting an artist that really needs to reenter the public consciousness. The only criterion is that the artist hasn’t had a legitimate hit in over a decade. Without further ado, here is the inaugural Don’t Call it a comeback artist:

Boyz II Men

Biggest Hit: I’ll Make Love to You



Last Hit: A Song for Mama (1997)

Where Are They Now: Michael McCary, the bass singer in the group, left Boyz II Men in 2003 due to Scoliosis (the cane he sported in videos were not for show) and since then, the remaining members have released three cover albums, none of which cracked the top twenty-five, the most recent, Love, peaked at 114 on the Billboard 200.

Why the World Needs a Boyz II Men Comeback: Because RnB is dead and babies need to be made.

The nineties were a boon time for RnB and there was no bigger group than Boyz II Men that sold over twenty million albums during that decade (of which three were bought by me) and broke records held by The Beatles and Elvis. By the end of the decade, record companies realized that they could sell more records to teen girls by grouping together five cute boys even if they could not carried a tune like Boyz II Men and by the 00’s RnB had been auto-tuned to death by the like of T-Pain leaving no room for artists who do not need electronic help.

Now we are in a new decade and hopefully are primed for a Boyz II Men revival which could come as soon as next year which marks the twentieth anniversary of the group. After spending a decade singing other people songs, it is time for the group to pump out some originals, preferable with the help of Babyface (who is also due for a comeback) who wrote the group’s biggest hit including End of the Road, I’ll Make Love to You, Water Runs Dry, and A Song for Mama. And for all the high school students out there that want to dismiss the group as from another generation, keep in mind many of you may not exist if Boyz II Men didn’t aid in your conception.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLIII

Chuck: Here’s hoping that Morgan breaks Casey’s daughter’s hearty so Casey kills him off once and for all. With that said, this may have been the most enjoyable episode in over a year. The best part was when Casey accidentally called Jeffster while being drugged and them not be at all surprised by his predicament. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: I am with the guy, you just do not talk about that kind of stuff. The thing is, guys do not talk about about girls we have been with, we just talk in detail about girls we want to be with. And the locker room discussion was spot on. Guys do not want to talk to naked dudes. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Event: When the absurdly hot brunette came face to face with the baby she was tasked with eliminating, I when into my usual Lost mode of thinking, well it is obvious that was her “son” from the previous episode but even though it was obvious, we will not learn the reveal for another season or two. But surprisingly, unlike Lost they actuaqly let us in on this obvious act that anyone with half a brain would assume that same episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Spike Scream Awards: Why do teen girls have to ruin everything made for guys? First this week at the Scream Awards on Spike (which I thought was supposed to be the first network for men), Twilight picked up three awards. Then Glee landed on the cover of GQ (which I thought was supposed to stand for Gentlemen’s Quarterly). Seriously teen girls, can we men have something for our own? What are you going to ruin next? Is Justin Beiber going to top next year’s Maxim Hot 100?

Parenthood: Great Arrested Development shout out buy having Amber (her?) in a banana suit. Too bad they didn’t go all meta for the other characters, I guess the baseball outfit Adam wore could have been a Sports Night reference, but that might be a stretch. And I am glad theyfinally revealed Christina’s costume because I would have never guessed a Q-Tip. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: During Gemma’s great escape I spent the whole time waiting for her to punch Tara “for authenticity’s sake” and at least her boss thought of it instead. Next episode should be quite a showdown between SAMCRO and the Irish, assuming the next episode takes solely on the plane trip over there. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Nicaragua: It may not even crack the top five dumbest moves from last season, but the first tribal council was just filled with stupid decision. After Brenda threw him under the bus at tribal, how does Marty not play his Immunity Idol? And since Marty didn’t play his Idol, how does his tribe not vote him out on the revote? Now they do not have the numbers to flush out the Idol, not that they are likely to even have that chance because of the other tribe voting out strong players over Dan who can barely even walk let alone compete in anything. So Marty may very well may have a free ride to the merge with his Idol in tack. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: I realized why I am not enjoying this season as much as the last one (aside from the families not intermingling very much), where is Dylan? How did they not add him to the cast after being the breakout guest star of last season? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Terriers: Here’s hoping the trio of nerd maker regular appearences and can be Hank’s version of the Lone Gunman, They had me laughing on thje floor when they were on screen. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Terriers on iTunes.

The Challenge: Cutthroat: That was kind of a pitiful get well T.J. crew they got. Where were all the All-Stars? It was like the B-Team of challenges. And what a shame it came during an episode where someone quit. T.J. hates quitters. You can stream recent episodes on MTV.com. You can also download The Challenge: Cutthroat on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I guess we are in the start of episodes where there will be no Penny due to her horse episode. Maybe they should have shut down production until she was better. It juts didn’t feel right without her there as she grounds the show from all the nerdy excess of the guys.

Community: Enough with the meta jokes. When you are making Meta jokes about being Meta, it is time to stop. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Outsourced: It has become pretty clear the Diedrich Bader is the MVP of the show. The two episodes that he has been featured heavily have been the best two of the early series, the others mediocre at best. Hopefully they can work him in more often, especially with the B-Team. And what is the Aussie chick’s role exactly, she really hasn’t fit in anywhere as of yet. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.

Best of the Week vol. XLIX

Quote of the Week: It’s like sleeping with a graphing calculator that’s on the fritz. (Swift, Terriers)

Song of the Week: Travelin' Band – Curtis Stigers and the Forest Rangers (Sons of Anarchy)

Big News of the Week: Full Seasons All Around: After three quick cancelations, NBC and CBS have given full twenty-two orders to most of the new show, all in the case of CBS including Mike and Molly, Hawaii Five-0, The Defenders, $#*! My Dad Says, and Blue Bloods. While on the Peacock The Event, Chase, Law & Order: Los Angeles, and Outsourced will all make it to the end of the season. Hopefully with Outsourced getting more episodes, all the pretentious Parks and Recreations fans stop whining for its cancelation. And for those pretentious types worrying about where P&R could fit into the schedule; remember NBC will have three hours to play with their schedule when football is over, not to mention the Wednesdays at 8:00 spot where Undercovers, the one show that hasn’t gotten picked up yet, currently occupies.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: I've Got You Under My Skin - Rod Stewart (Amazon MP3)

Deal of the Week: Blu-Ray Deals (The Evil Dead, Let the Right One In, Army of Darkness)

New Album Pick of the Week: Speak Now - Taylor Swift

New DVD Pick of the Week: Back to the Future: 25th Anniversary Trilogy (+ Digital Copy) [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: My first thought when seeing the Scream 4 trailer was “there was a Scream 3?” According to Wikipeadia, there actually was one so I will take their work for them. Since it will be eleven years between films, hopefully I won’t need to have seen the third installment, because sign me up for a movie with Kristen Bell, Emma Roberts, and though they are not in the trailer, Allison Brie and Julie Taylor supposedly have roles in the film. But hopefully the annoying chick from Heroes dies and early and horrible death.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Friday Night Lights, Wednesday at 9:00 on DirecTV: It is that time of year again where I debate switching my cable provider to DirecTV for the sole purpose of being able to see the new season of Friday Night Lights, six months before it hits terrestrial television. Even more painful is that this will be the final season of one of the finest television shows ever.

Around the Tubes vol. LXXI

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on the Legends of the Superheroes, In Treatment, Who Is Harry Nilsson (and Why Is Everybody Talkin’ About Him?), The Best Government Money Can Buy, Skullcandy, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Fairy Jobmother, Men of a Certain Age, Timmy Time, Conan, and Boby Brown.

- For the first time ever, the Legends of the Superheroes is coming to DVD. The made for TV movie features classic Batman and Robin Adam West and Burt Ward, joined by other Justice League members The Flash and Green Lantern as they face off against The Riddler (Frank Gorshin reprising his TV role), Mordru, and Weather Wizard. Not sold yet, the set also includes a Superhero Roast hosted by Ed McMahon.

- In Treatment returns for its third season next week on HBO. There will be two new half-hour episodes debuting back-to-back on Monday 10/25 (9/9:30pm) and two more new episodes back-to-back on Tuesday 10/26 (9/9:30pm). Check out the trailer below:



- Coming to DVD next Tuesday is Who Is Harry Nilsson (and Why Is Everybody Talkin’ About Him)?. Many of my generation will know him best from Without You which was covered by Mariah Carey (and featuring in a creepy scene in The Rules of Attraction) and the Coconut song which was featured in Reservoir Dogs. Check out the film to learn more about who was called the greatest songwriter of his generation with interviews with Micky Dolenz, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Al Kooper, Randy Newman, Yoko Ono, Van Dyke Parks, The Smothers Brothers, Jimmy Webb, Paul Williams, Robin Williams, and Brian Wilson.



- Just in time for the mid-term election in twelve days, out on DVD Tuesday is The Best Government Money Can Buy looking at the lobbying system and its impact on our democracy. Keep in mind this election cycle alone a tally of $250 million spent from undisclosed sources. Here is a clip from the film.

The Best Government Money Can Buy Clip #7 from Cinema Libre Studio on Vimeo.

- Skullcandy has recently teamed up with the NBC to create the Skullcandy Crew including Kevin Durant and James Harden of the Oklahoma Thunder, Deron Williams of the Utah Jazz, the Chicago Bulls' Derrick Rose and from the Philadelphia Sixers, Andre Iguodala (sorry Miami Cheats, you are not cool enough). Here is a video of the crew:



- If you need something to do on Halloween but have no desire to go outside, Fox Movie Channel is running a twenty-four hour marathon of The Rocky Horror Picture Show in honor of its thirty fifth anniversary.

- This upcoming Thursday (10/28), you can check out a sneak peak at Lifetimes’s latest show, The Fairy Jobmother at 11 after the Project Runway finale before airing at its regular timeslot the following Thursday at 9:00. Or check out the promo below:

The Fairy Jobmother comes to Lifetime Thursday


- Men of a Certain Age finally has an airdate for its second season, Monday, December 6 at 10:00. Head over to TNT.tv for a recap of the first season.

- Fans of Timmy Time (and their parents) will be happy to know that next week Playhouse Disney will be airing the show three times a day (5:30am, 7:00am, 11:00am). The the first week of December the network will have all new episodes every day that week.

- And the very first guest to sit on Conan’s new coach: Seth Rogan. Not surprising, Jack White will be the musical guest. Also showing up the first week is Tom Hanks, John Hamm, and Michael Cera. Also joining Conan will be Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band as the house band starting Monday November 8 at 11:00 on TBS.

- And just because, Bobby Brown and The Roots:

Bobby Brown: My Prerogative

Everytime that Flags Unfurled, They're Coming to America

In a story I broke last week, History’s twelve part series America: The Story of Us is on Blu-Ray (see They’ve All Come to Look for America) and for those history buff out there that are not a fan of the boob tube, I have some good news, there is also a companion book, America: The Story of Us: An Illustrated History by Kevin Baker.

Like the series, the book opens with an introduction from President Obama and follows the same structure of the series, dividing it down to the same twelve chapters (Rebels, Revolution, Westward, Division, Civil War, Heartland, Cities, Boom, Bust, WWII, Superpower, and Millennium) but goes into much more depth at 416 pages with segments that were just touched on or not even mentioned in the televised version. Also helpful is that each section is given a date range so you get a sense of when things were happening.

As the title An Illustrated History suggests, the book comes with an abundance of glossy pictures that depict the country’s history from the first pictures taken during the civil war to the high resolution of citizens today. The compilation also includes many story factoid and graphs that didn’t make it on television like did you know that a male Colonist in the eighteenth century had a life expectancy of fifty-four, eighteen years more than a British man?

Some of the complaints of the book are the same as the special, like do we really need quotes by Michael Strahan? Luckily the book includes much less talking head quotes, and of course it is much easier to ignore them on paper than on the glowy tube. And like the series, the book completely ignores how Americans entertain themselves, no sports, music, and the only mention of a theater includes Abraham Lincoln.

But just like the series, the book is definitely worth a look as it is well researched and well put together. And if you know someone who is like me and would read his history textbooks for fun, America: The Story of Us: An Illustrated History would make for a great Christmas gift with only fifty-nine shopping days left until the holiday as this would make for the most entertaining history textbook you can find.

Hate to Be so Emotional, I Didn't Mean to get Physical

In the current issue of Rolling Stone issue, Kings of Leon lead singers Caleb Followell expressed his deep displeasure of “hipsters.” Which is ironic considering those are the only people who bought his band’s first three records. Yes kiddies, Kings of Leon recorded music before Sex on Fire.

After barely cracking the top twenty-five on those first three hipster approved album, the band exploded with one anthemic song after another off of Only by the Night becoming the biggest band in America in the process to dismay to all the hipsters who knew them before they became beloved by frat boys, soccer moms, and pigeons everywhere.

So what do you do for a follow up? More of the same. Come Around Sundown sounds like it could have been from the same sessions that produced Only by the Night. But the problem is that the new album is cut from the same cloth as the previous one, there are no songs on Come Around Sundown as haunting as Closer, as big as Use Somebody, or sweaty as Sex on Fire.

Of course this set of songs may not have been meant to be heard solely through computer speakers but at your local amphitheatre. The pounding drums that open up the album on The End will shake fourteen thousand fans in unison. “It’s in the water, it’s where you came from,” the chorus to Radioactive begs to be chanted in stadiums across the country with a guitar opening that may even make The Edge jealous. And Pickup Truck is too good to be stuck at the end of the album where Caleb is at his most mournful. But Come Around Sundown as a whole just blends together and gets old really quick. Hopefully the band pumps new life into the songs when they come to your town.

Song to Download – Pickup Truck

Come Around Sundown gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television vol. XCIII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Erase Me - Kid Cudi & Kanye West



Kid Cudi had a high bar to jump over from his last collaboration with Kanye West, but at least the video version awesomely great thanks to appearances by McLovin, Dale Kettlewell, a Jimi Hendrix wig, random hot groupies, and I swear I spotted the kid from The Middle a couple times too.


Waiting for the End – Linkin Park



Before I saw the new Waiting for the End video I heard someone compared it to Radiohead’s House of Cards which raised my expectations as that was one of The 100 Greatest Music Videos of the 00’s, but this is bit of a letdown, it looks to be weird for the sake of being weird. And what is with the reggae interlude at the end?


Well, Well, Well – Duffy



I think I’m off the Duffy bandwagon, Mercy was a breath of fresh air, Warwick Avenue and Stepping Stone were haunting and heartbreaking, but her voice is grating on me. Hopefully the rest of her sophomore offering is better than this.


Somebody to Love – Mark Ronson and the Business Intl. and Boy George



You want to feel old: try explaining the eighties to a teenager. No matter what you talk about, they will just look at you like you came from another planet, which exactly what the eighties was, like living on a different planet. As hard as Lady Gaga tries, she will never be able to outdo the weird crap that came out of the eighties. Case in point: Boy George. Seriously, if you are younger than twenty-five head over to YouTube and search for Culture Club to get a small sense of what the eighties were. This Mark Ronson video is no joke, the Boy George era actually happened and I lived through it. Man I feel old.

Not All Conspiracies Are Theories

I am certainly not one of those pretentious critics who thinks AMC programming is the greatest thing to hit television since the invention of color. Don Draper is a douchebag and there is no entertainment value in hearing the dad from Malcolm in the Middle cough a hundred times in a forty-two minute episode. Yet I found their third try at a series (which is always the charm) engrossing.

When the network schedules where unveiled back in May, many thought it would be The Event that would take the torch from the retiring Lost and 24, but it was Rubicon that beat the show to it with a deep conspiracy so detailed you probably should have been taking note.

The concept was benign enough to start (or as benign as a show that started out with two deaths can be) focusing on an analyst tasked to keep tabs on a potential terrorist as he reeks havoc in the eastern hemisphere. Jack Bower Will Travers is not. But if 24 was a shoot ‘em up video game, Rubicon was a thinking man’s chess game of a television show.

Which may have also been the shows biggest weakness in that, where chess players stare at the board for minutes at a time, the show sometimes took way too long to unravel its plot. The two main leads to half the season before even meeting and even then it was a while before they could be considered intertwined.

But when Will starting putting two and two together, Rubicon kicked into high gear with edge of the seat thrills that rivaled any action packed show. Even though it was quite obvious that everything would tie together neatly by the end (there are rarely coincidences in television shows like this) it was fun to watch Will piece everything together and go deeper into paranoia with every layer he pulled back.

If Will was the brains of the show, his co workers were the heart. His trio of underlings could always lighten the tension of the main plot between Miles’ squirreliness, Tanya’s drug addledness (who saw her as a relationship writer?), and punching bag Grant. And who figured Cale as the show’s white hat, if there is a second season we really need to know more of his back story.

In the end, Will found the smoking gun that linked Spangler to the terrorist plot with plenty of twists along the way. I never saw the connection between Tom and David coming, although how does Will not see the DVD in her hand and she collapse. That better show up in a second season. Also didn’t see Will’s neighbor from across the way as one of the good guys, I long suspected her being placed in that apartment by the antagonist and was quite shocked when Katherine came knocking on her door. And we learn (I think) the purpose of the four-leaf clover, it is a message that your time on this Earth is coming to a close.

Which brings us to a potential of a second season. Will Truxton take his own life like previous four-leaf clover owners (his daring of Will to publish his story leads me to believe so)? What was the connection between Tom and David? How does the neighbor fit into all of this? It seems like there is an underground network working against Atlas MacDowell. Is Cale part of the network, and if there is one, how far down does it go? Here’s hoping they get to answer them.

Rubicon gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CLII

Rubicon: I wonder when they came up with the idea of blowing out the pipeline, did they had to add the BP line afterwards so people like me wouldn’t go “we just went through three months of BP spewing oil into the gulf, how bad can this attack be?” You can download Rubicon on iTunes.

Chuck: Unlike Nicole Ritchie last week, this was a cool call back with Casey’s former nemesis in the form of Armande Assante. Loved all of Casey’s tales of living in the walls of the palace for two weeks. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: That was the best episode the show has had in a while, you can’t go wrong with multiple Maury Povich sightings. Loved the GPS cutscreens (too bad they didn’t do it throughout the whole episode. But I think I missed something, I thought the were originally racing to see Woody Allen and once they got there, decided to race back to their pub, yet the episode ended with them with whoever’s buddy who spotted Woody in the first place. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Event: That was a silly polt twist of letting Layla think she got free just to lure Sean. And if they want him dead, why not kill him while on the cruise? But I do have a theory that this may turn out to be a Terminator situation where Sean creates the nanobots that allows Sophia and her people not to age and the absurdly hot brunette and her people want to kill him before that happens and Sophia has traveled back in time to make sure that happens. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Castle: I am a little disappointed that the case didn’t actually involve any time travel. And I do not care how inaccurate someone tries to tell me a nineteenth century gun is, I am not participating in any duel. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

No Ordinary Family: The kids got a little less annoying this week, but it is not a good sign that I am starting to get bored with the adjusting to the powers phase. Better have a run in with a big bad soon or at least some interaction with other with powers because I am starting to get bored. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download No Ordinary Family on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: It looks like we finally will see SAMCRO touchdown in Ireland next week. That only took seven episodes. But I wouldn’t put it past the show that something will keep Jax and company from getting on the plane. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Nicaragua: I hate when the show teases my least favorite contestants getting voted out only for the rug being pulled out from under me. Seriously,, if NaOnca wanted to leave, vote her out. That was a gimmie vote right there. And if Marty was so shocked by the mixing of the tribes, why did he bring his Immunity Idol? I was kind of hoping that it would be just hanging up for anyone to grab at his old tribe. While the water challenge may have been the most evil the show has ever devised. I was kind of hoping the wheel would move more slowly just to see someone panic. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: The show is much better with Alex playing with Hayley, not the other way around. But with the holidays coming up, they better find a way to intermingle the families because it is just not as good when tat doesn’t happen. Al Bundy racist jokes can only get you so far. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Challenge: Cutthroat: Best wishes go out to TJ Lavin who had a bad accident earlier this week and is in a medically induced coma. He has really found his groove on the show in a Jeff Probstian way and it is had to think of the show without him even if it rotated plenty of host before him. You can stream recent episodes on MTV.com. You can also download The Challenge: Cutthroat on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Great way for Sheldon to win the argument just by bringing over Penny so Raj couldn’t retort (but Raj may have gotten the last, and biggest, laugh with his oversized desk). But did we know Howard and Bernadette broke up? We hadn’t seen her for a while but I did not remember her even being mentioned this season.

Community: The show really needs to put a moratorium on parodies or at lead limit themselves to only one a month because it seems like that is all the show does anymore. It was funny that they brought up Scary Movie because that was exactly what I was thinking of when I realized we were getting yet another parody. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.