As a wide man once told me, this is the most wonderful time of the year. And you can see it in all the Christmas traditions. Let’s face it, Christmas songs and movies are not the best written things ever, but yet each December we enjoy them both with a smile on our faces and not pick them apart like we do non-holiday themed entertainment the rest of the year. I know I will be cozying up next to the fire more than one night with ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas. Here are the new features this year as well as the full schedule:
A Miser Brothers' Chrismas (Saturday December 13 at 8:00) - Starring Mickey Rooney, reprising his role as Santa Claus from the holiday classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, ABC Family’s new original special A Miser Brothers’ Christmas tells the story of how Santa throws out his back, potentially spoiling Christmas for boys and girls all over the world. The story begins when Santa’s new chief mechanic, Tinsel, creates a speedy, new high tech sleigh for Christmas. But what Santa doesn’t know is that North Wind has secretly sabotaged the sleigh in the hope of taking Santa’s place that year. When Santa takes it out for a spin, he gets caught in the crossfire between the feuding Snow Miser and Heat Miser Brothers and the sleigh crashes, causing Santa to hurt his back. North Wind frames the Miser Brothers for Santa’s accident, and with Santa stuck in bed, everything falls into place for North Wind to slyly come to the rescue. But much to his chagrin, Mother Nature punishes the Miser Brothers by forcing them to put their differences aside and fill in for Santa. Encores: 12/19 at 7:00, 12/21 at 12:00, 12/24 at 7:00.
Snow 2: Brain Freeze (Sunday December 14 at 8:00) - Tom Cavanagh reprises his role as Nick Snowden, aka "Santa," in Snow 2: Brain Freeze. Nick is preparing for his biggest day of the year - Christmas! In the rush of getting his reindeer ready, he jumps through his magic mirror and hits his head upon landing, causing Nick to lose his memory and forget who he is! With just days before Christmas, his wife Sandy (Ashley Williams), is desperate to find her husband and enlists the help of her old boyfriend Buck (Patrick Fabian), who pretends to help but has no true intention of reuniting them. With the help of some new friends, Nick’s memory starts to trickle back, but will he remember that he is Santa in time for Christmas? Encores: 12/14 at 10:00, 12/17 at 9:00, 12/20 at 1:00.
Christmas in Wonderland (Saturday December 20 at 8:00) - With a recent move and tough financial times, the Saunders family is facing a bleak Christmas. With the kids moping around home, Wayne Saunders (Patrick Swayze) decides to try and make the best out of the holiday by taking the family to the mall to get much needed Christmas decorations and presents. But when the two youngest kids come across a bag full of money, they believe that their Christmas just got a whole lot brighter. Unfortunately for them, the bag belongs to two bumbling crooks in the middle of a counterfeit heist and if they don’t get it back, their boss (Carmen Electra) will have their heads. The movie also stars Chris Kattan and Tim Curry. Encore: 12/20 at 10:00, 12/24 at 11:00 AM.
Quote of the Week: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie: If you move one thing a boulder starts (expletive deleted) at you. (Martin Mull, Gary Unmarried)
Big News of the Week: Tim Kring Thinks I’m a Dip(expletive deleted): And a happy Thanksgiving to Tim Kring too. For those who missed the guy behind Heroes and his full quote, this is what he said about serialized television, of which is show is:
[Serialized storytelling is] a very flawed way of telling stories on network television right now, because of the advent of the DVR and online streaming. The engine that drove [serialized TV] was you had to be in front of the TV [when it aired]. Now you can watch it when you want, where you want, how you want to watch it, and almost all of those ways are superior to watching it on air. So [watching it] on air is related to the saps and the dip(expletive deleted) who can’t figure out how to watch it in a superior way.
Of course Kring is responding to why his show’s viewership has been cut by more than half. And the reason behind that is because the storylines are lame and regurgitated, the acting is unwatchable, and the characters are just not likeable. It is not because online streaming and DVR. And his basis thesis is majorly flawed. How exactly are those methods so superior that those of us watching live are dip(expletive deleted)s? How is watching things online superior to anything? Unless your monitor is bigger than your television and you have couch you can lay down on that just makes no sense to me. But of course I’m a dip(expletive deleted).
What is worse is Kring totally alienated his core audience. Having people watch like is something you want to shoot for because that means people can’t wait to see a new episode. Watercooler shows are not being DVR’ed because people don’t want to be left out of the discussion the next day. But then again, what do I know, I’m a dip(expletive deleted) that is not even pretentious enough to have a DVR. And with that I am done with Heroes, thanks Tim Kring for giving me a reason to finally cut the cord. Now please kill of Kristen Bell so she can find work on a real show.
Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
The Big Bang Theory: I never thought I would say this, but Sheldon became too much this week. This is mostly attributed to his knocking fixation which they have done about five too many times know, even if Penny opening the door earlier gag, disrupting Sheldon’s rhythm was still funny. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Chuck: A week later and I am still trying to decide what was funnier, Big Mike saving Casey or Chuck in the spinning thing. But one thing that bugged me though is why didn’t Casey and Sarah bring Jill in right away because they should have known that she knew that they knew she was a spy. Although I’m not sure that just made much sense to me. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: When did How I Met Your Mother get so consistent again? Dare I say since Stella got the boot? But as funny as it was I don’t think I will be trying out the Nake Man anytime soon You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Pushing Daisies: I would like to think that Pushing Daisies would be above doing an Anna Nicole Smith episode, but sadly I was round. That is one ba-dunk-a-dunk I cannot get behind. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.
Gary Unmarried: I know this doesn’t say much bet this was the best episode of the year. Hopefully the parents are back for Christmas. And Easter. Might as well write them in for Flag Day too. Or just just have Martin Mull actually separate with Jane Curtain and move in with Gary for a while. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
For those who wonder what my voice sounds like, my question got answered on not one but two different podcasts recently. If you check them out I would like to preface it by saying 1) I stand by my assertion that calling something “goofy” is not a term of endearment, 2) If you don’t get my pop culture references that is your problem not mine, and 3) like it was brought up I am a little too much like Sheldon, apparently right down to not being to properly convey sarcasm. With that said download these episodes for more me:
Free Download of the Week: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Harry Connick Jr. (iTunes): Thanksgiving is over so it is time to overdose on Christmas music to the point that I am already tire of the genre before December hits double digits. For even more free Christmas music also check out Tony Bennett who also has a holiday song for free.
Video of the Week: Monday is the start of 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family of which I will post the full schedule tomorrow. Until then here is a promo for the event:
Next Week Pick of the Week: Grammy Nominations Concert Live!!, Wednesday at 9:00 on CBS: For those of you like me that think three hours of performances that the Grammy’s bring us every year are in luck because this year the nominations are being announced in prime time this year with music in between from John Mayer, B.B. King, Taylor Swift, the Foo Fighters and, um, Céline Dion. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, following right after on the Eye Network: Half Naked Model Hour. Hopefully Céline Dion is not included there.
To find out how to win an Amazon or iTunes gift card, keep reading.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, or as those outside the U.S. like to call it, Thursday. So I hope you have (or had depending on when you read this) a great Turkey Day. Just a heads up with the holidays upon us, here’s a look at the schedule the 9th Green will be taking the next couple weeks as well as a list of the best of 2008. There is a link on the sidebar for future reference. Feel free to dive into the archives on days that I will be taking off and on day that are not listed, they will be filled by the regular reviews and such you have come to find at the 9th Green (card subject to change):
November 27-28 - Off for Thanksgiving November 30 - 25 Days of Christmas Schedule December 1 - Induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame December 15 - Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2008 December 22 - Worst Songs of 2008 December 23 - Best Albums of 2008 December 24-25 - Off for Christmas December 26 - Best Videos of 2008 December 27 - Best Performances of 2008 December 28 - Best Mash-ups of 2008 December 29 - Scooter McGavin’s Reader’s Best Songs of 2008* December 30 - 100 Best Songs of 2008 December 31/Januray 1 - Off for New Years January 2 - Induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame
*As you may have noticed, on the 29th I will have a Reader’s poll on what you all thought were the best songs of the year. So if you would sometime time before Christmas, e-mail me, ScooterKSU(at)aol(dot)com, your top ten songs of the year in order. If you need a refresher of songs from the last twelve months, check out the list of the albums I reviewed for my Terror Alert Scale as all the songs from those albums are eligible, look through the music videos I highlighted the past year and of course any song released this year is okay too even if I didn’t talk about it. Your nominations will be confidential and I won’t disclose it here at the 9th Green, so if you enjoy the 9th Green please send me an e-mail by December 24.
And as an added bonus, if you send me your list this year, you can win the top five songs of the year as determined by me. Well you can win a $5 Gift Certificate to iTunes or Amazon, which I guess you can use however you like. All you have to do to enter is e-mail me your top ten list and then tell me if you would prefer your gift card to be iTunes or Amazon. Please note, only people with American accounts can will, and lets face it, with the dollar tanking $5 is pretty worthless everywhere else, but foreigners are still welcome to voice their opinions. Winners will be contacted sometime between Christmas and New Years.
And with Christmas coming fast upon us, here are some deal that you can find over at Amazon.com:
1) Black Friday Deals: Their Black Friday page is the central point to find all our Black Friday deals, including the Gold Box hourly deals featured from midnight to 11pm PST and thousands of products that are on sale for a limited time only. 2) Amazon Customers Vote: Customers Vote is a special end-of-year promotion where you and your site visitors can vote for the deal you'd like to buy at an amazing discount. Offers posted from now until 12/4. 3) Blu-ray Deals and Discovery: Amazon and Sony are offering incredible values on high definition products such as Blu-ray players and movies, as well as PlayStation 3 consoles, games, and accessories. New deals will be debut every week through Feb. 7, 2009. 4) Save up to 60% on Over 550 DVDs and Blu-ray Discs. Offer valid from 11/17–12/16. 5) The Big DVD Sale—Great Entertainment as Low as $5.99. Offer valid from 11/17-12/16. 6) Save at Least 42% on ABC TV shows. Offer valid from 12/2-12/15. 7) Save up to 60% on over 900 DVD Boxed Sets. Offers posted from 12/2-12/22. 8) The TV Holi-Daily Deal: Special one-day deals on favorite TV shows. Offers posted from 12/4-12/16.
In true Kanye West braggadocios fashion, he recently stated that iTunes should create a new genre in their shore to put his music called Pop Art. According to Kanye, the only other artist worthy to be included in his new genre would be Pink Floyd. And as usually Kanye is somewhat right in that his new album needs to be included in a new iTunes page, but the gernre should be albums by great artist that should completely forgotten like Neil Young’s rock-a-billy album, Prince’s symbol era, Ryan Adams’ gangsta rap album, Chris Gaines, the Van Halen album fronted by the dude from Extreme and INXS being fronted by a reality contestant.
808s & Heartbreak may trump all of the above as a bad idea that ends all bad ideas. The album features Kanye singing depressingly emo songs with one of those annoying T-Pain voice modulation things over crappy French techno beats. But I guess the album does live up it its name with long titles like Welcome to Heartbreak, Heartless, Paranoid, Bad News, See You in My Nightmares, and Cold Winter.
One can assume we have the break up with his fiancé to thank for this album. But as heartbreaking as it was, did Kanye really need to let us in on all the callous details. Even Taylor Swift thinks he is going over the line. C’mon, you are Kanye West, instead of getting back at her on wax, why don’t you get back by being seen with a new model at every event? Leave the uber-depressing music making to the professionals like the Counting Crows? You don’t hear them singing about ice and gold diggers.
Even the non uber-depressing songs, all one of them, are not much better. Amazing features a weak verse by Young Jezzy, the only rapping on the album, but not as lame as Kanye’s auto-tuning verses. It is baffling how some who has made three of the best albums could fall so far so fast. It is really hard to write how bad this album is so I will just stop now.
Chinese Democracy is a huge disappointment. No not because of the music, but just because it was released at all. For the seventeen years since Guns n’ Roses last released a studio album, Chinese Democracy became this mythical figure, much like Big Foot you could find blurry video on YouTube of songs, but there wasn’t any hard facts that it actually existed besides a name. Had Vegas had it on its book, I would have put money on China becoming a Democratic state before Chinese Democracy was actually released.
Well, come to think of it, the music is pretty disappointing too. Of course unless it was the best album of the past seventeen years, the album was going to be disappointing no matter how good it was if you have had to wait more than half your life for. Not surprisingly, seventeen years of tinkering on songs has led to an album so overproduced Britney Spears would think it is too shiny.
Chinese Democracy puts the duel heads of Use Your Illusion in perspective. On the albums you had the punk influenced, riff heavy songs like Garden of Eden and the bombastic ten minute long Estranged. It is clear with Velvet Revolver that Slash wanted the riff-centric Guns n’ Roses while Rose wanted to push the group into the more theatrical rock as most of Chinese Democracy, even though don’t reach the length of some of the Use Your Illusion songs, they just feel as long sometimes.
Not surprisingly considering that is when a bulk of the music was started, the album sounds like a mix of hard rock from the mid-nineties. This is actually a good thing because if you think of it, the Foo Fighters are making the best hard rock music of the ’00, and , and no disrespect to Dave Grohl, but that isn’t a good sign for the genre these days. The title-track is a shred heavy monster, Shackler’s Revenge starts with a bunch of shrieks and technology blips that sound from the Trent Reznor laboratory, the alt-rock of Better, the atmospheric rock of The Verve on Sorry with each song morphing two or more genres in by the end.
With its piano and sappy beginning, you may think Street of Dreams was sung by a country artist until Axl trades in the baritone start for his signature squeal and moves the song into a November Rain type power balled. But in the end, there is just too much tinkering and second guessing that just brings down an otherwise solid album that may have sounded fresh fifteen years ago. As disappointing as Chinese Democracy is, on the bright side we all got a free Dr. Pepper out of it (well I would have if the Dr. Pepper website did not crash and their customer service number was not busy all day, they better extend this). And there is always Detox to make fun of.
Chuck: I was a little perturbed last week when it wasn’t explained why Jill hooked up with Bryce Larkin right after breaking up and now I am completely befuddled. It cannot be a coincidence that he ended up being NSA and she Folcrum. I always hated when Chuck went into the past but I now want to know more. (My theory, she was always a spy, and she was assigned to get close to Chuck thinking he was going to be part of the recruiting thing at Stanford, when he got kicked out, she moved on someone who did get accepted: Bryce Larkin. She then got the boot when he hooked up with the Token Hot Chick) And come to think of it, have they ever actually explained who Folcrum is and what their mission statement is and who they are aligned with? You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: Aw, the Wooo girl, the greatest and worst things ever. I can thank the Wooo Girls for so many memories that will never be repeated ever. And dare I say Hannity and Colmes may be the best derogatory tem for breasts ever? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Heroes: And I though Peter trying to emote next to Kristen Bell was excruciatingly painful, but having her in scenes with Sylar makes me want to poke my eyes out. I know there aren’t many people on the show that can, but can they please have Kristen in scenes with people that are at least community theater quality actor. Seriously, who will be paired with next, Matt to hit the trifecta of horrible acting? Or better, just kill her off so I can stop watching this show. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com.
Eli Stone: Finally a musical number. But I am still weary of the two firms and how that plays out. Although I guess thanks to ABC, it won’t take me long to see how it plays out. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.
Pushing Daisies: I was kind of looking forward to having a case where the dead were people that couldn’t talk. Although it was pretty obvious that the killer was just inept, that is why the animals died first. Hopefully ABC give the show a reprieve long enough so he can have a mute that is killed, of course in Pushing Daisies fashion, it would be a mime that wouldn’t break character even in death. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: There is nothing better on television these days than when people play a fake idol. If I am not mistaken, this is the third straight season someone tried to play a fake idol. And really no one deserved to play a fake idol more than that humongous tool. What was best is that everyone had a smile on their face when he first played it even thinking it was a game changer, or knowing that it was a fake. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
My Name Is Earl: Holy Bob Rooney sighting! You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Quote of the Week: Now if you excuse me, I have a date with Hannity and Colmes. (Barney - How I Met Your Mother)
Song of the Week: Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd (How I Met Your Mother)
Big News of the Week: ABC Drops All the Shows I Watch on Their Network: The day after Tony Kornheiser gave Pushing Daisies some dap on Pardon the Interruption, ABC announced that the show would be taking its title too seriously. Michael Wilbon won’t be too happy that Dirty Sexy Money will be joining them. Also six feet under is Eli Stone. None of the shows are officially canceled or pulled from the schedule, but it is doubtful we will see any of the shows again after their original order of thirteen episodes are aired, that is if ABC bothers to air them all (I sense a buy the DVD to see unaired episodes situation coming). After the Jericho debacle, I doubt there is any luck resurrecting any of the shows by sending pies, stones, or dirt covered money to the network. The closest thing to hope fans can look to is a Friday Night Lights situation, although network may want to wait to see how successful that is before trying it themselves. And Mark Cuban, whom owns DirecTV, is a little busy these days with the SEC. At any rate, it may be time for another rant that anyone who thinks the Neilsen Ratings are credible are complete morons.
Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:
Coalition Links of the Week: From Turtle on Entourage to Thirteen on House, Buzz rounded up some of her favorite nicknamed TV characters. (BuzzSugar)
Vance loves Bobby Cannavale but isn't quite sure if he'll make a good Cupid yet after seeing the preview. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace took an advance look at the Doctor Who: Complete Series Four DVD which came out earlier this week and offered an early look at a potential ABC midseason schedule. (Televisionary)
I'm in ur hospital, sleepin' with ur interns! Dan continued his trend of ridiculing Grey's Anatomy with a new batch of LOLGrey's. (TiFaux).
Jennifer returned from maternity leave to chat with Rosie O’Donnell about her new variety show, Nip/Tuck, and The View and received a strike notice from her DVR. (Tube Talk)
Kate kinda hated herself for continuing to watch Stylista. But holy crap was this week's episode compelling! (TV Filter)
Heather had a longish chat with 24: Redemption's Robert Carlyle and, incredibly, managed to avoid once mentioning Hamish Macbeth! (TV Spy)
Free Download of the Week: Gettin’ Up - Q-Tip (iTunes): A couple weeks ago iTunes launch a Free Single of the Week and the former A Tribe Called Quest rapper’s latest video is yours without having to pay for it. I always wondered who actually pays to download music videos on iTunes. Why download a three music video for $1.99 when you can get a forty minute television show for the same price. But you cannot beat free. Now if only I could figure how to convert an iTunes video into a MP3 song.
Video of the Week: I have always been skeptical of the upcoming remake for Cupid from Rob Thomas, but the promo for the show hit the interwebs this week. Have a look:
Wow, after watching that I have to wonder if Bobby Cannavale watched every episode of Entourage back to back because he looks like he is trying too hard to do a Jeremy Pivin impersonation. Is there really anyone at ABC that thinks this will be better, or even perform better, than Eli Stone or Pushing Daisies? The channel may be morphing into The CW for me where I no longer watch it, not because I am boycotting it like Fox, but I don’t watch it because there just isn’t anything watchable.
Next Week Pick of the Week: Macy’s Thanksgivings Day Parade, Thursday at 9:00 AM on NBC: A yearly tradition even if I don’t know who seventy-five percent of the “stars” they have trotted out in the past decade. Surprisingly this year I actually recognize a few names like Miley Cyrus, David Archuleta, Kristen Chenoweth, James Taylor, Darius Rucker and Trace Adkins. Not appearing this year are The Cheetah Girls, whoever they are, because they got dumped from the show for some reason. Hopefully that means more Hootie.
– ABC Family Premiere
(Live Action)
– Basic Cable Premiere
- Johnny Depp version
– Basic Cable Premiere
– ABC Family Premiere
– Basic Cable Premiere
: Their Black Friday page is the central point to find all our Black Friday deals, including the Gold Box hourly deals featured from midnight to 11pm PST and thousands of products that are on sale for a limited time only.
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