57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/15/16

Once Upon a Time: So as predicted Robin Hood died and Captain Hook made his way back to Storybrooke. The only question now is what are they going to do in the final two episodes now that Hades was defeated? The only unresolved issue is that Belle remains under her sleeping spell. Maybe we will get more than the usual tease of the next Disney property they exploit. When do they go to Tron?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

House of Lies: Oh, no, not the Douchebag Twins. And yet, even with an episode that saw the not so triumphant return of the Douchebag Twins, they did not even give us the most disturbing scene, that was instead Clyde and Doug chugging Jennie’s pump and dump.

Penny Dreadful: Dorian and Lily were wholly absent from the premiere and that was a quite unexpected way for them to return to the show. I fully assumed that that was the type of show they would enjoy but I guess it makes more sense that they would rather participate than just watch. I fear (and would be kind of disappointed) that she will end up like the transvestite from last season. Then you have Dr. Jekyll who has a formula that can turn a criminally insane person into fully functioning human being. Of course there are going to be side effects, the question is has he tried it on himself yet or not. Dracula again is resigned to the final scene again. Last week I feared when we did not get to see him it was going to be a Master on The Strain situation who ended turning out to be a not very scary looking Muppet, but we did get to see Dracula who ended up looking like a low rent Matt Dillon which I guess is better than a low rent Muppet.

Quantico: So it turns out the football player was yet another pawn though the whole using his voice on the phone with Alex was a bit of a stretch. Instead the traitor was the Quantico teacher because… oh who know. Even when he eventually gives his Bond villain type speech I doubt it will make any sense.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: I guess I was wrong with Galavan killing the Captain. It turns out Galavan is really bad at killing people. Tabatha also landed in the hospital and not the morgue. Alfred gets thrown out of a window and was still able to walk away to fight some more. I was going to say Galavan was as good at killing as everyone was at trying to kill him; just how many bullets can that guy take? Then Penguin and Butch show up with a bazooka. Awesome.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: Can we get more drugged up chick in the elevator? She was by far the best part of the episode.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I have an irrational hatred of movie theaters so naturally I did not see Captain America: Civil War prior to this episode so I guess I now know who wins. Yeah, D.C.’s movies may have sucked but their separating television from the movies is looking better every time SHIELD spoils a movie. Granted really they have only spoiled the last two Captain America movies. Oh yeah, and they killed off Peggy Carter. Booooo. I was really hoping she would get some anti-aging serum like the Nazi got last season. What a shame that they may possibly kill off her character and cancel her show in the same month. Hopefully ABC finds a way to keep that show going. Oh well. Sending Lash after Hive seemed like a great idea but they kind of overlooked two huge plot point. Okay, Lash, the Inhuman killer can ward off Hive’s parasites, fine, whatever. But why did he not kill Daisy, and not only did he not kill her, he actually helped her and saved her from Hive’s trance? Andrew’s last sliver of humanity was kind of a big stretch.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: Last episode, Cal mentioned before killing a dude that the next leader would perform a miracle, could Sarah saving the baby be that miracle? Certainly Cal would no be too happy he is not the chosen one. Maybe that is why he tried to hook up with her.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: I have long thought that winning Individual Reward was advantageous to your game, especially in a case where you pick two people and then there are four people made at you back at camp. But I never thought winning a Reward would turn out as badly as this. To have to be pulled from the game because you ate too much meat, ouch. And we have known this for a while that this was bad. How many times in the early seasons did we see people get Rewards only to spend a lot of time in the woods with a pile of leaves? Seriously people, Reward Challenges are not worth it. At least we did not get the stupid Survivor Action where morons bid on food instead of waiting for an advantage. And that was the second pull out this season which negated what could have been a fascinating Tribal Council. On one side you had a strong Joe/Aubrey alliance. On the other was Michelle. Then there is Cydney in the middle but seemed to be leaning Michelle. Then you had Tai and his Idol so he was not going anywhere. When he and Michelle were alone I was waiting for someone to come up with a plan where he give her his Idol because no one would vote for him because of it. But then he seemed to make up with Aubrey. Really what it may have come down to it is who talked to Tai last. Instead we had our third unplayed Idol, one that went home with someone being pulled, one that went home with someone because he did not play it expecting a SuperIdol, and one that did not get to played because the last Tribal that it could have been played at never happened. Kind of sums up this lackluster season.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

Black-ish: Isn’t it too early for the show to bring in a baby? Usually sitcoms do that when they run out of ideas, it should be too early for that, it I only season two. At least wait until season five.
You can download Black-ish on iTunes.

The Americans: There are few thing lis scary than watching The Day After thirty plus years later. I kind of had to laugh at everyone's reaction. Interesting Philip's reaction was maybe we should not give that destructive virus to their government after watching. It is about time for a shajke up in the show. Maybe instead of the FBI finding them out as tradors, maybe the twist could be Philip becoming sympathetic to Americans.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals III: Poor Leroy, that is two straight seasons he goes home early for medical reasons. But we essentially had a two and a half premiere episode. I guess that is needed to get to know the new cast and introduce the season, except the two people who went into The Jungle I had no clue they were even on this season until they got picked to go in. Hopefully we go back to one elimination per episode because there was just too much filler in these first two episodes.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals III on iTunes.

The Blacklist: There was a point when I thought Scottie was going to turn out to be Lizzy’s mother, but no, she is Tom’s… or least that is what Red told him. The episode was alright but as a backdoor Pilot, I am not ready to watch another show which is just The Blacklist with the gender of the two leads being swapped. Maybe I will watch if the show is filler between a break of the ordinal.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.