Monday, November 23, 2015

The Voice Season Nine Top 11 Power Rankings



Adam has secretly been one of the worst coaches on the show. No one ever talks about it because he did manage to win twice and had three of four finalists two seasons ago. But the thing is he is almost always able to recruit the best talent in the Blind Auditions yet never takes his four of five best singers to the Live Shows. When someone like Gwen or Shakira only gets one great singer in the Blinds and cuts them before the public gets the vote it is more glaring when Adam cuts a couple when still has one or two great singers still around. For instance Gwen cutting Ellie, not once but twice, just looks stupid (granted America looks dumber for saving Braiden instead of Ellie), Adam dumping Alex and Andi is not as glaring because at least he still has Jordan and then stole Amy.

Then there is Adam's song selection which has been some of the worst in the show. He either goes super boring (every Tessanne Chin song) or historically bad (remember the countrified version of Skid Row) which I think sometimes are on purpose to sink someone's chances to help his favorite advance (giving Preston Pohl a rap song). So when I saw Adam was giving Amy, who up to this point has not sung a song less than fifty years old, a crappy Drake song I thought you could add Amy to the very long list of Team Adam members front-runners who he sunk thanks to a historically bad song choice.

Oh wow, I was wrong. Hotline Bling goes in the Pantheon of great performance in the history of the show. And that was not the only bizarrely awesome performance this week, let us not forget the weird reggae / lounge version of Who Will Save Your Soul, it was almost as if Cee-Lo was back as coach (the show has gotten so much more boring without him). Hopefully both stay in the weird zone (though I fear Adam will look at Amy's top ten iTunes result and think to himself, "Let's do Trap Queen next week!"). Unfortunately all the boring white dudes stayed boring and none of them found themselves in the bottom two.  I hate bored housewives.

Speaking of the bottom two, the show only eliminated one singer this week instead of the usual two, which sucks because there is a lot of fat to be trimmed this season, Korin could have well as gone home this week along with Braiden, Evan, Zach, well basically all the country singers could be instantly eliminated. But for the next three weeks, they are actually only cutting one person per week and then they are going to go from nine singer semi-finals to a four person finale, yes that means there is going to be a six person Twitter Save with five people cut at one time. Fun times.

I have seen internet conspiracy theories claiming this is to help certain contestants, keeping one coach's team from being completely decimated before another has even one person eliminated (I could have seen a scenario where Blake and Adam could have made up the entire Final 6) or it is to goose iTunes sale. Um, no. The real reason the show is doing it, and let us be honest, it is the same reason any television show does anything, they are doing it as a way to keep ratings from eroding. I remember three seasons ago they made the Playoffs not live and when asked why Mark Burrnett said that they wanted to cut down on the number of Live Shows because the rating drop a lot when the show goes live. Except that did not work, so they tried the Wildcard Round. Again that did not work so they tried the Coach Comeback, again, mostly a failure.

I agree the more singer that are around longer, the less likely people are going to stop watching when their favorites are gone if you make sure they stick around longer. I know I would stop watching if Amy and Madi are gone, had thy kept the double eliminations, maybe neither would have made the semi-finals. This way at least one, if not both will make it that far, though both will probably get cut during that semi-final bloodbath so four boring white dude and country singers can make the finals.

So the intent is a good one, but there is a much better way to stop the ratings slide when the show goes Live and that is make sure you have a more diverse cast. Look at season three where the rating were pretty stable whose final six singers were very diverse: their was a pop-rocker turned country singer, a classic rocker, a blue eyed soul weirdo, an RnB dude, and indie pop singer, and Amanda Brown, who could basically do it all. Since then the top twelve has gotten more boring and more homogeneous every passing season up to these season when America saved six boring white dudes two straight weeks in a row. There are two solutions to this, first set an unwritten quota for the coaches. Blake needs to stop it with his country heavy team, that country heavy season was a disaster for the ratings and had they done it the same elimination schedule there may very well have been another four country singer top six. Tell the coaches they should only take one singer per genre to the live show per team.  Seriously Blake, enough for turning around for every country singer, get one or two great ones in the Blinds then let some of the other coaches have some.

As for the second fix, it is also clear the bored housewives that run American Idol into a ratings nightmare with their love of boring but cute white dudes and that has started to ruin The Voice. They are currently on their third straight boring white dude winner and it looks like a lock for a fourth as in the Playoffs six of the eight singers saved by America were white dudes (and Madi was lucky she only had one boring white dude to compete against so it was six of a possible seven, and of course that one other girl was a country singer). To me it is clear that the reason Zach and Braiden are still around (seriously, how did none of the boring white dudes make the bottom two this week) is because these bored housewives vote for Barrett and Jordan and figure while I am on the Voice App I might as well vote for all the cute boring dudes so let me give ten votes to Evan too. So to limit this The Voice needs to change the voting system from being able to vote ten times per voting method per singer to ten votes per voting method period. So these country fans can no longer just vote for all country singers pushing them all into the final six, they instead would have to decide, do I want to give all ten of my votes to Barrett or do I want to split them, 3-3-2-2 among all the country singers. If The Voice does not change something soon to make the show appeal to a wider audience and not let just the bored housewives voting block dominate every season (I do not think the one elimination until a semi-final massive cut is a longtime solution; they basically lost all the RnB fans this week) it may soon get American Idol sized ratings.

Now for the Power Rankings which I have grouped into four groups:

The Top of the Crop

1. Amy Vachal (up 1)
2. Madi Davis (down 1)

The only two that actually tried something this week, one to great effect (Amy) and the other (Madi), well it was a decent try. I do hope they continue to push the envelope.  Just no Trap Queen.

The Boring But Acceptable

3. Jordan Smith (up 6)
4. Emily Ann Roberts (down 1)
5. Jeffery Austin (up 2)
6. Barrett Baber (up 4)
7. Shelby Brown (down 2)

Okay Jordan did switch things up this week doing his first non-diva power ballad but he was still mostly boring. The country gals stayed country, Barrett did another countrfied version of an adult contemporary classic. Then there was Jeffery who did his fourth straight blue eyed British neo-soul ballad pure karaoke cover. Ugg. What is he going to do next week: Amy Winehouse's Love Is a Losing Game? Duffy's Warwick Avenue after that? Time to switch things up dude. But then again the one time he has not sung a straight blue eyed British neo-soul ballad pure karaoke cover it was apparently so bad his The Weeknd Battle Round performance was montaged.

The Lucky There Was a Format Change

8. Korin Bukowski (down 5)

Korrin seemed like a lock to be the first to get the boot except instead of a bottom three there was only a bottom two and all she had to do was beat Mark. Had there been a boring white dude or (I gasp thinking of the possibility but it probably would have happened) Madi who would have split votes, she definitely would be gone. It will be shocking is she survives another Twitter Save, the only question is who will she be in the bottom with.  She has had only one great performance (the Battle Rounds) so it is unlikely she will ever find that magic again.

The Why Did They Not Cut Five Now Instead of the Semi-Finals?

9. Evan McKeel (up 2)
10. Zach Seabaugh (down 2)

48. Braiden Sunshine (still dead last, always dead last)

Seeing these three get saved by America two weeks in a row makes me think of Larry Wilmore on the Nightly Show who back in August, a month after Donald Trump topped the polls and kept rising despite calling Mexicans rapists, attacked a POW because he only likes soldiers who do not get captured, and blamed a journalists tough questions on her period, looked straight into the camera and said, "America, I am talking to you directly: Stop it! Stop it!! America, listen to me: Stop it!!!" Every time Carson calls one of their names, I just want to fly to Los Angeles, bum rush The Voice stage and say, "Bored housewives, I am talking to you directly: Stop it! Stop it!! Bored housewives, listen to me: Stop it!!!" Seriously, how many boring white dudes do you need on the show? They could eliminate all three of them and there would still be three boring white dues left. Except I bet at least two, if not all three make it to the semi-finals. Korin is close to a lock to leave next week and I would not be at all surprised if Madi or Amy follow the week before the semis. I said it before and I will say it again, to limit the bored housewife voting block, The Voice needs to change the voting so people only get ten votes per round to divvy up however they want it instead of letting the bored housewives vote for all the cute but boring white dudes ten times each.

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