57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/16/14

Once Upon a Time: Since everyone who gets more than one line is inevitably going to turn out to be a fairy tale character so from the first moment I assumed Emma’s new boyfriend was not who he said he was. Since the promos that reran ad nausea hyped the debut of the Wicked Witch of the (presumably) West, my first guesses were Oz related: maybe the Wizard himself, or The Scarecrow, Tin Man, or Cowardly Lion. Surprisingly we did not have to wait a season or two to find out who the boyfriend was as at the end of the episode he turned into a fracking bad CGI flying monkey. Awesome. (On a side note, when is NBC going to reboot Quantum Leap with Christopher Gorham, that dude can easily pass off as Scott Backula’s kid.)
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Did we finally learn what Rick’s three questions for joining the group that was that was hinted way back in the season premiere? Daryl did ask Bob three questions when they met: 1) How many zombies have you killed? 2) How many humans have you killed? 3) Why?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Resurrection: From the promos, the show did not look all that good, but I was intrigued by how they would explain it all. Except my sources tell me that the book the show is base on does not actually explain why these people come back. I did find the premiere compelling, but I am not sure how the story plays out over a whole season, let alone a series. And if there is no answer, that will be very frustrating. But I will probably stick with it because it is currently stuck right between my hate watching ABC Sunday’s schedule.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Revenge: So Nico captures Aiden and can easily avenge her father’s death (which make the show much better because the show has been on a steep slide since introducing Aiden) but instead concocts some James Bond villain sinister plan to kill his love in front of him before killing him. Of nothing goes as plan, and instead of Emily killing Nico, she is allowed to weirdly slink out the loft. Then you have Victoria killing her baby daddy and Conrad’s first wife is Jack’s mother. Ugg. Just end this show now.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Voice: So the Blind Auditions are done and not one singer really worth caring about. I may be out on this season faster than I was last one. But since I made it though the first round, my first, and maybe only, Power Rankings of the season will be posted tomorrow.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: So Lilly paid the bartender a lot of money to make sure she always has a non-alcholoic drink in her hand this weekend? Ugg, just end this show already.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The reason why we have not seen any of Marvel’s big named heroes was evident this week (well other than obvious monetary reasons). This was hyped as the Lady Sif episode, but really, it turned out to be more Lorelei-centric. And as it is with the movies, the villains are much more interesting and in the short time you have in an episode, you have to focus on the bad guy. If they brought in a bigger name than Sif, the show would have to self most of the cast to fit them in (Skye already spent most of this episode in bed). But I would not mind a Lady Sif spin-off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: So Ezra thinks that A is Allison’s mother who is trying to make is safe for her to come back to Rosewood, but Allison verified her mother does not know she is alive. After a very heavy handed season, next week’s Ally Tells All episode better actually tell all. And let me go ahead and guess that the person under the mask is Mona (assuming it is not Allison at the beginning of the episode).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Finally, Raylan has found a law enforcement agent as prickly as him, but before you suggest he get transferred to the Memphis DEA office, Dewey Crowe had to go and run over him before Danny could test out the twenty-one foot rule on Eric Roberts (but the promos suggests that Danny will get to ret that again next week on Raylan which I am sure will end humorously). But the scene where Raylan and Roberts entered Audrey’s was just one of those scenes that the show does just so well. Surprisingly the body count was low.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: Just like the Race Wars season, it seems like they are ditching the gimmick a little too soon but after the Brains lost four of five Challenges, three of which were for Immunity, it was inevitable. We will have to wait until next week if just the Brains have to drop their buffs and get absorbed or all three will be mixed up. If it is the latter hopefully my two favorites who were being targeted this week, Cliff and Morgan end up in cushier situations, maybe on the same tribe. But how exactly did Cops-R-Us (Philip Sheppard should sue for copyright infringement) think they could throw a basketball challenge with Cliff Robinson on their team?
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: After the tease at the end of season one, I was excited for potential of Paige to figure out her parents’ secret. But after three episodes of near misses, I am ready for her to finally learn the truth. I really hope they are not waiting for this season’s finale (or longer) for that to happen.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Oh Juliet, pulling that kind of stunt is what got you dropped in the first place. Thankfully she has not learned her lesson because the show would be a lot less entertaining. The other big bombshell was Will proposing to his beard. Hopefully this means we are closer to somebody outing him because that would be a much more interesting storyline than him staying in the closet and hating himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Parenthood: All the lackluster and annoying storylines this season were almost all worth it for that dinner scene where basically everyone came out in the opening for everyone, including Jasmine’s family and minister, to hear. And Drew, who was always low man on the Braverman Power Ranking, may finally be moving up after his roommate hooked up with his former bootie call. But it kind of sounded like they are actually going to ruin that awesomely awkward dynamic by having Drew move in with his sister, which could get really awkward too considering her place is only one room.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: I liked the changed final challenge this season from the Survivor like popularity contest to an actual nerd skills competition. But for the second straight year, a girl one which makes me wonder if a guy will ever win this show. They might as well call it Queen of the Nerds at this point.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

Hannibal: I do not know what is says about me that I recognize that the bailiff was murdered the way that Will is accused of his victims before forensics made the same assumption. And by killing the judge, does that mean Hannibal wants to keep Will in a perpetual state of innocent until proven guilty but still in prison? I would have never had guessed a court room based episode would be this engrossing, but of course was able to pull out an epic one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.