57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/9/14

Shameless: What is it about the Chicago train system that makes people want to have sex on it? Or is this just what Hollywood wants us to believe? Thankfully Lip is staying in college because that storyline is much more interesting than doing the same things he had been doing back in the Gallagher house.

House of Lies: I enjoyed hearing Kristen Bell tell T.I. to “shut the (expletive deleted) up” way too much.

How I Met Your Mother: So did the show just admit they mess things up by not having Victoria be the mother? She certainly was a better character than the actual mother. Any chance Victoria is the subject for the How I Met Your Father spin-off? I would watch that. I was mostly disappointed in this episode because I was thinking about do a Ted Mosby Girlfriend Power Rankings for the series finale but the show beat me to it. Huruph.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I was really beginning to enjoy the start of the episode , the accent debate, Simmons’ elaborate back-story, but it had to be ruined what is quickly becoming one of my least favorite television show clichés, the same timeline shown through multiple eyes. And then they had to almost kill off the token hot chick who only survived because like a Bond villain, the Ian Quinn decided to walk away instead of making sure she was dead. Granted it is plausible that The Clairvoyant still wants her alive but I thought t would be because these wounds would show why she is an object of unknown origins, in that she is resistant to bullets or heals super quickly, but nope, she is still near death.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I know abusing uppers in high school is a huge problem these days (or at least that is what Fox News tells me) but it really hard for any high school drama to tackle the issue and not be compared to Jessie Spano. That is not a comparison that anyone wants. Last week I theorized that Erza had some help as A but considering all the camera he has everywhere, maybe he is doing it by himself. Although if I cared enough, I would go back and see if the pictures of Spencer and Hanna fighting were from the point of view of the detective who I thought may have been in on it last week.

Speaking of not caring, Hanna showing up on the spin-off was a bit worthless. She almost took a bath with a spider but did not. She almost got kidnapped by Little Red Coat but did not. She almost got back together with Calab but did not. The show itself is just one tease, they bring the token hot chick back to life, but no, she has to stay dead because everyone needs to be alive for the curse to work. Sorry token hot chick.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: How did Adam die playing Contra? Seriously dude, Up Up Down Down Left Right Let Right A B A B Start.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Justified: Well that was epic. It is amazing that this show can shove this much awesomeness into one episode when most cannot get that much into one season. We get the pirate from Dodgeball just mowing down everyone except for Art who gives him Raylan’s ten seconds to leave the diner speech (granted unlike Raylan, Art gave him about thirty seconds to leave). Then just months after catching Drew Thomason, the marshalls bring down Theo Tonin (hey crazy enforcer guy, how about not shoot aimlessly when your boss is in one of those bins). Even Jonny orchestrated a great triple cross. The Boyd storyline was a bit weak. It seems that Mara will be this season’s Cassie; the chick behind the dude who Boyd kills who you think will go away after he is gone but will inevitably come back and bring down Boyd later in the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Nashville: Another drugged up to work storyline, but maybe it was not the best idea to give that storyline to the worst actor on the show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: The show should really release a board game version of Battle Hammer, I would play that. It is basically Battleship but you can move your ships. Well you can move them legally. But then again, why spend money on a new board game when you can just import the rules to Battleship, all you have to do is bring your own dice.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.